Some people should not be a step parent if they can not get over that fact their partner has to coparent
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You sound like the controlling one. Please do not contact her talking about she is doing anything wrong. It sounds like she just wants this man to be involved with his child. Are you guys all like 19 or something?
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sounds more like she wants him to be in their son’s life? I could be wrong and there could be a lot more going on…
Stay in your own lane. She is the mother of his child. She isnt going anywhere girl. Co parenting is a real thing.
It sounds like you have an issue with him being available for his son. As parents we are to be available 24/7 there is no break.
Find someone who doesn’t have any children. The kid comes first and the kid needs to see his/her dad and you can’t handle it, apparently.
the thing is neither your current partner or the lady in question can erase the fact that they had a child together .and yes that child needs 2 parents if you cant handle this i suggest you end it … its never going to end
How dare a mom ask her child’s father to participate in their child’s life?! What a crazy(and amazingly loving) woman.
If he has a problem with it tell him to man up otherwise it’s just going to continue
When it comes to his son with her that is between him & her. You learn your place & stay in it. As long as he’s not screwing around with her, then personally let him handle his business & mind your own. There’s not enough in the post for us to make a really informed opinion, but if this is going where I see it going in similar posts I have read in other groups, you need to lay off on him talking to her. He had a child when you got with him. You knew he would communicate with her. Regardless of whether or not he is with you his first priority is that child & his mom because she is taking care of him so he needs to make sure both of them are good then you come next. Stand down.
I honestly dont even know what to say. Simply because I have no idea what you’re trying to ask.
But if I were to guess, it would be the fact that you’re upset that the mother of HIS CHILD is contacting him about THEIR CHILD. Have you personally talked to her? Does she REALLY have a bad attitude or is it just you’re upset that he still talks to his ex because they have a child together? So you’re projecting everything on her because you don’t have your man all to yourself?
How long have you even been with him?
Listen, you want my thoughts? You need to relax. You need to let him coparent with his ex and you need to back off. It isn’t up to you on whether he spends time with his kid. It isn’t up to you whether he wants to communicate and coparent with his ex or not. You honestly sound like the one that’s trying to be controlling because you’re upset that she contacts him all the time about, again, THEIR CHILD.
STEP. BACK.
Unless you’re going to step up and be a step parent for YOUR MANS SON, then you need to just find someone else who does not have children, because being a parent is not a part time job. Your man is doing the right thing keeping in contact with his ex. EVEN if she does have a bad attitude, that doesn’t excuse the fact that they still have a child together and they NEED to communicate for THEIR CHILD, and he seems to be a good dad for wanting to coparent.
It doesn’t mean ANYTHING just because you don’t like her. 
get over it or leave because I promise, he will leave you if you try to keep him and his son apart. Children come first, whether you like it or not.
How is asking him to pick up his kid and informing him so he can be apart of things controlling?
You guys probably aren’t getting what she’s saying. I get it. My lover has a child from another woman and me and him have 3 together. His bm NEVER plans ahead for weekend to her his child. She comes to town and blows his phone up saying " can you take him" just so she can go drink and fuk guys. FOR ONE NIGHT!! NOT THE WHOLE WEEKEND! So we told her she had to let us know a week ahead of time so we know (we have three BABIES) it gets busy. So she still doesn’t let us know. She still tried to drop him off out of the blue. So we said no because we had plans ans He expects us to never have plans. Here I seen messages with her threatening me because I yelled at her son for sitting my baby girls. Mind you her son is 7 and my babies are 2 and 1
yes he was hitting them, and broke many of their toys. He’s extremely hyper and was never told no by his mom. The reason her son don’t like me is because I don’t allow candy or soda for kids at my house for any kid including my own. So he told his mom im mean. I love his son just as much as my own. We been planning to do 50/50 ams getting things ready. But with his mom threatening me I confronted her and asked why she feels the need to be like that towards me. She stared acting crazy and talking stupid. I have proof of every message with me trying to explain everything, and she basically said that my boyfriend gets to see his son when she wants to go out unexpectedly. We told her no because we work out of town every weekend. We told her we want 50/50 and she literally told us no. So I told her to stop batching and take care of her own son by herself then. Call me what you want. I tried.
I have one of those:joy: Honestly I kill her with kindness (im really a bitch) I go above && beyond for the kiddos (just like mine) I give her zero reasons to bitch so when she does its just to be petty!! Honestly its a reminder to my man why I’m awesome && why she sux:joy:
YES they need to be in contact for the kiddos BUT NO she doesn’t need to put her nose in Other Situations that DO NOT involve her!! NO she cant still tell your man what to do BUT they do need to be in contact for the kids!! You && her significant need to be involved just as much if everyone is raising the kiddos!! Its the kids that count!! This is coming from a mother of 3 && step mom to 2 amazing kiddos!! Ive been in her shoes as well BUT it was needed because dad wasnt doing his part!! Good luck boo:black_heart:
I’m curious why your with someone who has to be prodded so hardly to be a Dad to his child. That’s a huge red flag he doesn’t have some adult level priorities straight.
She can NOT control him unless HE allows her to. Ask yourself " how much do you really love this man?
Girl lmao. That’s his child and his child’s mother. Grow up, sit down and have an adult conversation about your feelings and figure out how to coparent.
Sounds like they’re communicating about their kid though? That’s how it works…
I was engaged to someone that his baby mama was the same way. He was a good father and she was married to someone else. She would never let him have his son on Christmas morning so I asked if we could stay the night at her house to be a part of Christmas morning together, we did. No matter how hard I tried that situation wasn’t going to change much. We ended up breaking up before the wedding for other reasons. But I get what you are talking about. Have you tried to communicate with her? That’s my best suggestion.
This doesn’t sound controlling… sounds like maybe she needs a break after having the kids all week… it’s called co parenting…
What you wrote does not sound like controlling it sounds like coparenting which is best fkr the kid.
Stay in your lane and let them figure it out.
… and exactly how much of this have you actually seen, rather than heard off him?
That’s his business. I wouldn’t get in between their parenting. He’s an adult he need to figure it out.
Sounds like you’re the controlling one and you might be my ex husband’s new victim
How about let hiM be a father and
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Trying to control him by telling him to pick his son up? you sound bitter.
Next time find a partner who dosent have kids.
What will you do when the child’s is a teenager and decides to ask the dad to see them on weekends
And how is that controlling?
I require so much more info lol. How is she controlling him ? How old are kids? How long have you been together ? How long have they been split up ?
Mind your business if she calling for his child why worry
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Hear me out: 
run while you can:sparkles:
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Girl mind your buisness and stay out of there’s. They have a child, as long as they ain’t fucking and I’m sure she has nothing to say to you, MIND YOUR MF BUISNESS!
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I am so glad I don’t have to deal with this anymore. My husband dealt with his Ex and put her in her place. Doesn’t matter if they have a child, you’re his partner now, his wife and also a priority. My husbands BM was super entitled and when she started getting in between our marriage he made the right choice. Tell him how you feel, explain what’s going on. I’m glad his BM is gone, and not anywhere in our lives.
Uh he has a kid, he needs to be spending as much time as he can with him…. Coming from a mom who has two kids with a deadbeat who jumped state
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I don’t know the situation, but just based off of what you’ve said, it sounds like he’s not doing his job as a father and you’re being a bit controlling. Being a father comes before having a girlfriend. You need to leave parenting to him and the child’s mother.
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know your role and stay in your own lane!
Um if you’re with someone with a child then they will be in contact so get over yourself
Control him by asking him to see his kid on weekends?? Get ahold of yourself lmao
Only if he allows it. It will continue
Does he complain. Does he bitch about her attitude.?. If not their no problem.
My head hurts from reading this.
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Stay. In. Your. Lane!!!
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Stay out of their coparenting.
If she’s contacting him about his child you need to stay out of it. He’s a big boy, if she over steps then he can tell her stop. Frankly it’s none of your business how they handle their child.
If you are really worried about it then talk your partner about it. If he feels the same then he can speak up. If he doesn’t see a problem then just drop it. He may just deal with it so they don’t fight. He might not be bothered by her. That’s not up to you to decide how they treat each other. If he’s fine with it then leave it alone.
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You’re upset she wants the father of her son to be involved…? I think that’s called co parenting 
Stop letting insecurities get the best of ya
Definitely need more info here. Because it sounds like you’re the type to keep your man from his kids! 
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Well she’s an ex. She can’t control him unless he allows it. I’d stay within yourself and not get involved. If they have a child together, they are to talk about the kid and where and when he goes place to place. Let him deal with it.
Everyone nailed this perfectly. Very sad you are soo insecure and jealous over a remarried ex and their child. She takes care of the kid ALL WEEK. He damn well gets him on the wknds. You need to grow up, you are clearly the controlling one. You are making it a problem. It’s about the child. If you had one you would understand.
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Put her in her place, that’s what I had to do . Cussed her ass out.
Control him how? Id tell him get a court order
People can sit here and call you jealous and shit but the truth is- you’re not wrong. She probably does control him. And she can. And she will. Why? Because they have a child together and as long as your partner is in that kids life, unfortunately, you’re going to have to buck up and ride it out. Is that fair? Sure ain’t. But that’s what happens when you hook up with someone who has a kid.
Advice? F that noise and RUN honey…RUN. You will never see her side of it unless you yourself have a kid and even so, if she’s able to control your partner so easily, who wants to be around for that? Find somebody else with no kids. There are plenty of folks out there without them. The baby mama drama is not worth it and life is too damn short.
Oh shut tf up. Two parents who split up are suppose to have contact about their children especially if they’re young. I am divorced we have 2 kids. We both moved on to other relationships. I am in weekly contact with my ex about our children. His gf doesn’t like it either but the girl stays in her lane. It’s apart of being with someone who had kids with someone else. She’s not controlling him because she expects him to be a fking parent. It sounds like maybe you’re a bit jealous of the situation. Considering the baby mama is already remarried. Which indicates to me you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who has a baby mama.
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Insignificant amount of info here. If she is contacting him about their child, that’s between them. You seem like the controlling one honestly. But, if you feel strongly there is an issue, communicate to your spouse.
Controlling how? No examples to go off of. He has to be involved with his kids and therefore with their mother
I’m not being funny but it sounds like mum is trying to take advantage of dad by trying to get every weekend off being a parent but 
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Don’t date someone with children if you want to be someone’s #1 priority. You said yourself she’s contacting their son… expecting to him be a father isn’t controlling him.
Partner ? Does this mean you just live together ? If so , it is in no way your child so you should butt out . The child owes you nothing either . If he is not man enough to handle his affairs , maybe he needs counseling . They will be connected as long as the child is a minor .
That’s your partners fault
Don’t date someone with a child and an ex! If you can’t let him put the child first, find a different partner. Let him handle her and his kid! Jealousy will get you nowhere in this situation. Now if he is going to pick up fast food and go hang out oh hell no. There is a line there. But let him deal with that BS!
I think some of you might be over thinking the issue.
Think outside the box a minute.
The mother of said child whats the father to pick up every weekend, fact as in the statement.
Maybe,
- she wants to always go out but cant cause don’t have a babysitter.
- don’t want the father of the child doing anything but staying at home on the weekends so he/ they can’t go out.
- could be she wants father and child to have a good relationship.
But by not having a complete backstory we can only hope that the childs mother is no a Baby Momma Terrorist.
There is also nothing said about child support so sometimes you have to look at what isnt being said.
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They have a son so your irrelevant to that! Get over it or move on 
. Your sound very childish and bitter.
Unless there’s an illogical reason, then she’s probably not controlling him. My hubby’s ex tries super hard to be controlling, when it comes to their one child, and her two children before him. I just politely remind her that she has one bio to our three and she isn’t going to put on him what she just doesn’t want to do. We’ve even offered to take their one bio in, especially since she’s always pawning all of them off. Just choose your battles wisely
They have a child together. Calm down before you have a stroke.
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Let him deal with her. Make sure you are on the same page regarding chores, schoolwork, discipline and let him enforce. And kids are great manipulators! Don’t respond to her rudeness.
I’m so confused? What exactly is the question 
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I mean if it’s his kid she has the right to call and have him take him that doesn’t make her controlling that makes her a good person for wanting him to be around and not just keeping him away
My thoughts is you’re overstepping.
What does her being married have anything to do with them coparenting?? It’s not her new spouses job to do your partners job.
Stay in your lane and if you don’t like it, move on 
Pick your battles wisely. Stay in your own lane. Leave it at that.
Some BM’s want their cake and eat it too. Mine did. Didn’t last long. She took full advantage. I’m from a divorced family. That’s not how this works.
Huh? You’re complaining because she’s asking him to have his kids on the weekend??
Sounds like the new girl has jealousy issues.
I hope youre encouraging him to be active in his sons life.
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Sounds like your just jealous.
Girl stay in your bitter lane
It’s called CO PARENTING.
Girl you gotta chill tf out before he leaves your ass.
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Is it about his child or just a bm tryna be controlling
Too vague lol give more context
You sound like a bitter girlfriend!
Honestly. It sounds like your the problem.
Wait….so you’re mad that his ex contacts him about being a part of his sons life? I’m confused 
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Normal fathers are part of their children’s life.
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Are you forreal mad at her for asking him to be a father? man I’m real glad my ex husbands wife doesn’t act like this 
Trust me, she more than likely does not want him. Coparenting is a HEALTHY part of split homes 
Get with the program or go away, stop making that child’s life difficult.
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First offf half of these mothers be bitter ! Moved on or not. So for anyone to say she ruined they relationship needs to go back to sleep. She worded it wrong but it’s clear that the mom might use the kid against the dad some ppl are like that.
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How is she trying to control him? You didn’t explain. Communicating about their child and trying to keep involved is normal and good. She may always be bitchy towards you simply because you are with him. Try to be the bigger person for the benefit of the child.
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I wouldn’t want to be with a man that didn’t make his child his priority.
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This is why I never dated men with kids……too much drama !
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There’s always 3 sides to every story and I feel like this one has 4 and 5
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She could be the type to keep him away from his kids, pick your battles.
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Don’t pick a man with kids if you don’t want the drama
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How is it controlling? She’s contacting him about his son. Seems like being in a relationship with someone with a kid may not be the best thing for you as the child will always come first and the parents will always, hopefully, talk.
Control him as in making sure he does what a father should do? Does it happen to make you mad because he does what she says? You know, for their son?
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Well it is HIS child, kinda sounds like she is asking him to be a parent no controlling him! She has the right to contact him when it comes to THEIR child, now if she is messaging him and it had nothing to do with the child what so ever then you have the right to be questioning it.
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I’d they have a kid together and she’s advocating for them to have a relationship, mind ya business. Shouldn’t he visit his kid if he has the opportunity? Encourage him to. Maybe she will stop being a bitch if he stands up and does his responsibilities that happened before you came on the scene.
I mean controll him personally or set boundaries in his parenting style? Because if it’s about the kiddo and keeping things consistent that’s not controlling that trying to co parent effectively. There isn’t enough info here to give any meaningful advice .
I’m sorry but that child comes before you. And that child should always come first.
It’s something I didn’t understand until I was a mother myself. But I will fight to the death to ensure my babies are first.
Thoughts are…you’re an idiot. You should push your man to spend more time with his kid. Also, take notice…if he’s acting a sort of way with one child, chances are that if yall ever split and you have kids with him, he’ll be the same way…which then in turn… I imagine you’ll be the same way the other mom is
So she wants him to come get his child every weekend and that’s control? No that’s her telling him he needs to be a parent.
What a weird way to say you’re jealous of a man being actively involved in their childs life. If he’s supposed to have access, and you think he should choose you over his own child, and you’re irritated that the Mother is holding him accountable for access - you’re the problem. She’s the childs Mother - he’s the Father. That’s permanent. She’s not going anywhere. It’s not your place, sorry to say. Maybe you’re not mature enough to be with someone who is a parent.
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