Um He is the father first before a boyfriend what ever he is to you. She is only holding him accountable tobe present in thier child’s life. I’d rather have my partner be a constant present in his child’s life then not at all. This is what is called coparenting and something you need to learn to accept, be apart of it with love or leave the relationship. This post makes you sound jealous and insecure!!
My solution? Don’t date people who have children from prior relationships unless you’re willing to deal with the fact that their ex lover will always be in the picture. I personally will not date anyone with children for that reason.
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To me it sounds like you should mind yo business 
you sound a tad bit jealous
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Umm stay out of it? This doesn’t sound controlling this sounds as though they’re trying to coparent, as they rightly should. Tough if you don’t like it 
. If you can’t handle it, leave and find someone who doesn’t have kids. Either way you gotta stay in your own lane
I think what people on here need to get out of, is their own emotions and stop tryin to put their situations and 2 cents in on someone else’s situation, being biased , I have 2 children 2 babies father, and don’t matter who the father got kids with, A woman don’t have the right to control him, and having bad attitude with the other women, especially if the other woman hasn’t done anything, sounds like bitter jealousy, and she needs to be put in her place, she don’t run nobody Peroid, if the dad gonna do, he gonna do if he ain’t…keep it moving , People can co- parent , but trying to be the boss just because you got kids , isn’t it…People need to grow tf up , and start being the examples you want your children to be, rather than putting your emotions and feelings into things that aren’t their anymore .Always take the High road , and if your kids aren’t in a good environment whether it’s from mother or father, then the parents should be held accountable. If a woman is trying to control the man, then the man needs to put his foot down…Peroid
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Ever ugly, so he’s supposed to put his own guts and blood aside to settle your insecuritys? How would u feel if a bitch was tryna seperate your kids from their Dad and justify it? Everyone has a past don’t like it move on
He will always be a father - whether YOU like it or not. Count your blessings that he’s not a man who dumps his kids and runs. He’d do the same to you someday. Asking for help with kids isn’t the same as controlling someone.
Take your feelings out of the equation. Your feelings have no place between a child and their parents. Period. No good step parent on earth is jealous of the original parents. We have 2 amazing bonus parents in our family that would never interfere in how we raise our son.
My husband’s bm does the same controlling shit! If she calls him she goes “where r u? “ bitch, I don’t call him to know his location! And if I dont as his wife then u fucking dont as well! Just tell him what u need and move on with ur day 
Sounds like you need to get a life. Don’t act like a childish little girl. The man has a responsibility to his child and the woman isn’t going anywhere. Go find yourself a new man without a child.
You need to find yourself a bf with no kids. This isn’t controlling…it’s called co-parenting. But it also sounds like this dude needs a kick in the ass to be there more for his kid. If you’re holding him back from that, then you need to GTFO.
I love how many of these comments are telling her stay in her lane but yet if a stepdad or or father figure was the step and y’all wouldn’t feel this way
The only reason a person needs to contact an ex of a partner is if you are friends and have a decent relationship. If not, take it up with your man.
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First off, you said “partner” so I am assuming you are not married to him. Until he puts a ring on it you are not a permanent figure in his life regardless of how long you’ve been together or whether you even live together or not. Until he marries you, you get no say so in any way, shape, or form on any aspect of how he handles his life.
Clearly you have no idea what co-parenting is and all of the other stuff people are commenting! I know I wouldn’t want you around my children if this is how you see things!
Maybe there’s still something there between them?
She tries to get him to “be part with?”
Y’all both need your ass kicked.
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Stop being selfish. They have a child together so they need to stay in contact. Petty females i swear.
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He was a father before he was your old man and I’m pretty sure you probably knew that so kids first always, it’s her kid let her be a bitch, as long as you got yourself a good man and you know ain’t no funny business going on let that girl show up and show out she’s just making herself look stupid but never be Petty when it comes to somebody’s kids cuz you’ll lose every single time & if your dude didn’t allow it it wouldn’t continue, good luck girlfriend
The dad should leave you.
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Let them sort it out.
That made my head hurt…
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Stay out of it honestly
I honestly don’t even understand most of the post
Get a new partner
You mean she’s trying to get him to be a father? You and your partner both need to grow up 5 as her I’d be slapping the shoot out of both the all
Beat her ass…only you can control him.
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Don’t Allow It, Stand Your Ground And Have A Talk With Her, And Pray, God Sees Everything, God Bless You:clap:
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Barbara Brad Chittum dang lol ya know she came here for support
Do you find the most immature and trashy bitches or what? Holy shit grow up. She wants him to be a father, and you’re a bobble headed idiot.
This post is a crock of shit.
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He has a kid deal with it
I’m so glad we have a great relationship Jessica Marie lol … thank you for being such a great bonus mom.
that relationship sounds exhausting
What a dumb little twat 
Clueless. YOU are the problem princess.
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| your lane |
you are here 
Wtf is this? So she’s contacting him about THEIR KID??? Are you going to be that horrible jealous step parent? Get a grip on your life. Also he should be seeing his kid every weekend. If ya don’t like it go jump off a cliff.
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Beat her ass. Then she’ll get the hint.
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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
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Please help, I tried to read this and now I smell burnt toast.
“Wanting him to pick him up every weekend” oh heaven forbid he share in some of the parenting responsibilities
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partners ex still tries to control him: Advice?
Lmao shouldn’t he be picking his kid up when its his time with his son? If you think she’s so controlling just tell him to STAND UP FOR HIMSELF. lol. This post sounds so damn petty
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Not quite clear on what you’re saying other than she’s trying to control him by asking him to pick up his kid?
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I’m not really sure what youre getting at, tbh. If its literally just her contacting him about their son & him taking the son on the weekends- theres nothing wrong with that.
You say shes controlling him, but yet dont explain how?
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This is very poorly written. She’s controlling how? Her contacting him about their child and him picking up his child is firstly not your business and secondly is not controlling on her part. They have a child together and are communicating about said child. She’ll always be around whether you like it or not so you’re either going to have to get the heck over it or go find a childless man and move on. You should be appreciative of the fact that he didn’t just dump his child on the mother and run. It tells me that he’s man enough to take his responsibilities seriously and wants to be a father to his child. I don’t see it as her being controlling. I see it as you being childish and jealous over a coparenting relationship.
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I met my now husband is 2005 and and they had 1 aon together after I came in the picture she suddenly “wanted him back” and it made me very Angry yes they had a son together but we had a life together and we agreed that when it came to their son that was the only thing she was allowed to have input on but as far as our relationship and her telling him what to do that was a no! There are boundaries and don’t let her make u feel u shldnt be with him she has no right to but into your relationship but again u can’t control what happens with their kid unfortunately u can be supportive and give advice though.
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Yeah its going to be annoying, but they have a kid and that kid comes before your relationship. Now if she is berating him or trying to start drama, I could see but not enough info was given.
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Get used to it…been dealing with ot for 10 years. Baby momma will always be around and you cant control how she is with him. You can learn to ignore it and move on or leave.
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Thats not controlling him. That’d asking him to spend time with his kids. Which is a good thing. Kids need their fathers in their life. They have probably had it that way before you even stepped into the picture.
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Maybe your just insecure. And shes just trying to get her babys dad to be a part of their life.
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You mean she’s trying to make him be there as a parent for his own son…?
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If you can’t deal with it, don’t be with a man who has children. Simple as that!
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Sounds like they are successfully co-parenting
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There’s nothing wrong with her contacting him about their son and him taking care of his child on the weekends. I think we need more information about the situation such as how exactly she’s being controlling to be able to offer any good advice.
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Well to be honest it’s nice to have a weekend every now again…why can’t the father keep the child during the week as well? And is the mother only making him keep the child on the weekend so she can go out. If the mother is using the childs father for her convenience, that would be controlling. My advice is if that is the case, take it to court and get a custody agreement.
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My head hurts just reading this. I THINk she is saying the his baby mom is trying to control him by making him pick his kid up weekly. Which as a dad, he shouldn’t have to be told to do. I would definitely like more information about what she thinks is controlling. To me, it sounds like she is a bit jelly of baby momma talking to her husband, she needs to understand Baby Momma is not going anywhere and will continue to be in their lives even after the child is an adult if she wants to be included in big milestones for the childs life. Such as graduation, getting married, and having babies of their own.
She needs to be careful cause she could end up making him choose between her and his child and that is no place to put a parent.
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Coming from someone who has and is still dealing with this you have to be clear with him and let him know my mans ex still fucking calls him and her kids are adults she does it on purpose to piss me off but I show no emotion towards her and her bullshit being that the son is still a minor just get through it if you love him and if you and his son have a good relationship then just straight tell him that he needs to be clear with her to only call him if it’s an emergency and its about his son and scheduled pick ups that’s it other then that she should not be calling him
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You sound like the controlling one in this situation sounds like they are coparenting if you don’t like it when she contacts him about their kid don’t get involved with men who have kids and if that’s not what’s going on please reword it
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Seems like your a bit jealous of her or something??
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Is he playing his part? Maybe it comes across like control because he isn’t doing his equal share of co parenting. If they have a plan in place and he meets the obligations they agreed upon then communication will drastically be reduced.
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This is what you signed up for. You have to learn to roll with it. Like water off a ducks back. You are stuck with baby momma for life. It doesn’t end at 18. Eventually there will be grands to share. Learn to get along. Even if it kills you. Sit together at ball games. As Dr Phil says “IT AIN’T ABOUT YOU!”
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Not written well at all. The bottom line is they have a child together. You seem very insecure all the way around.
Need more info. She can contact him regarding the child. She doesn’t have to speak to you
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u should’ve choose a man with no kids from past relationships. its his responsibility as a biological father🤨
Girl what?! My brain fried up a bit reading this, but first off let them do their co-parenting. Being a stepmother is what you signed up for if that man came with kids, you signed up for the whole package not just him. The mother will always be there, just as much as he will whether you like it or not. If he’s not complaining you shouldn’t either, it’s not about him nor her. It’s about the kid(s). One thing you don’t do is interfere with that especially if she’s married and not worried about him nor you. You sound like this is the first time you deal with a situation like this, but if that’s something you know won’t be handle; maybe dating somebody who doesn’t have kids will be better fit for you.
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He’s perpetually obligated. It will continue .
Wants her cake and eat it too lol
You sound like an insecure child who cannot handle adult things. My recommendation is to date someone at your (very low) maturity level. 
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This sounds like it was written by a jealous 16yr old🙄… Calling about spending time with their son, is within her rights, as the mom. And while an ex can only do what your partner allows, blaming the ex, when your guy allows it is one of the many childish things women do. And this dosen’t sound like she is being some crazy ex, but y’all get with a person who has kids & act like they are suppossed to only focus on you. With any parent YOU ARE NOT #1, or you shouldn’t be… you are taking a back seat to a child, & guess what his BM will be in his life FOREVER, because his child will be, but you on the other hand might not be. Sounds like him realizing you’re childish, probably better now
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He has a kid they are bound forever… and she maybe controlling but it maybe because he is not at all… so she has to do everything
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This sounds like it was written by a jealous 16yr old🙄… Calling about spending time with their son, is within her rights, as the mom. And while an ex can only do what your partner allows, blaming the ex, when your guy allows it is one of the many childish things women do. And this dosen’t sound like she is being some crazy ex, but y’all get with a person who has kids & act like they are suppossed to only focus on you. With any parent YOU ARE NOT #1, or you shouldn’t be… you are taking a back seat to a child, & guess what his BM will be in his life FOREVER, because his child will be, but you on the other hand might not be. Sounds like him realizing you’re childish, probably better now
Maybe stick your nose out of their business and they are not your kids so have some confidence in your marriage and leave it alone. Now bit sounds like YOU are trying to put a wedge for yourself which will affect his kids and your relationship if you make something out. It
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Examples of how she is controlling? Sounds like you’re just jealous and insecure…
Wtf? She should be calling and he ABSOLUTELY SHOULD take his kid on weekends. Just because she has a husband she shouldn’t be calling or telling him to spend time with his kid??
Control him how??? Not a lot of info here.
I had a stroke trying to read this.
Please be more specific.
Sounds like baby daddy is a pos that wants to live his life with his new gf. New gf doesn’t get it because baby daddy makes it seem like mom just wants him back, she wants a father to her son. WAKE UP FEMALES. Baby mommas aren’t after you’re dead beat. I promise you, if she has a bf she just wants fucker to do his part.
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I understand we’re you are coming from.I don’t think it’s control but I do believe she has that attitude because she has deal with the father in some way or he doesn’t know or has made something wrong toward the child.And it’s not control but she’s just straight at what she wants with her son.And I’m telling you this because I’m that type of mom.I don’t have an attitude toward my baby daddy but I tell him the way I want things done for my kids.And I get straight to the point so he’s girl won’t think I talk to him over anything else.
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I’m not sure I quite understand. Could you shed some light on the “control” part of this? I can see why she still is calling him since they have a child together but you may want to be more specific to get better feedback.
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Also, you say ‘partner’ rather than husband, so I’m assuming the two of you are not married. If that’s the case, if you trust him, you need to leave it be. It’s hard enough having to co-parent without a bitter girlfriend getting butthurt and putting herself in the middle of it.
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This post is very vague and I’m just super confused. Have you talked with your partner? Does he feel like he’s being controlled? When you’re splitting custody there’s bound to be disagreements between both parents. I hate to be blunt here but you need to understand that unless you’re willing to put your personal feelings aside for the sake of the child, you’re not meant to be with someone who has children. Otherwise you’re setting yourself up for trouble until he’s 18. Try to picture yourself in the mother’s shoes and imagine how you would feel if it were your child. I don’t know about you, but I’d be pretty upset if my ex’s girlfriend blasted me on the internet rather than be an adult and come to me.
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She is contacting her child’s father about their child together. I’m going to need you to stay in your lane and get out of his( your boyfriends) way of being a good dad. You are replaceable. #itsallaboutthekid
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Date someone else. Your not ready for kids…
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Date some one who doesnt have a kid if you’re bothered he has to coparent. It’s not fair to the kid. And he should be with his dad on weekends. Mom has him 5 days a week. So she made him alone? That’s controlling telling him about his kid and to take them on weekends? Ooof I smell some jealousy
He needs to speak up
So I’m not sure if her calling him is bothering you or him having his son every weekend is bothering you… but it’s kinda gross that you put it this way like if you don’t want him to spend time with his kid every weekend and that it’s like she’s not allowed to call him. Be grateful she wants his son to spend time with him and not keeping him from him. If you can’t deal with the child’s mother don’t get with a man with children because those children 90% of the time do have mothers.
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She should be contacting him about his child. Instead of complaining that she’s wanting him to spend time with his son every weekend be thankful. I suggest you fine someone with no kids because u sound like the controlling one
It’s the sound of jealousy for me
Thats a them problem. Don’t stress about it. Instead how about try to make it happen. Problem solved.
In my opinion it’s definitely not controlling. She shouldn’t have to call him to get him to spend time with his son. I do agree with needing more information. I had to do this with my ex (I ended up giving up) because he wouldn’t see our son because he was hiding that he had another kid with his current girlfriend and the only time he did see our son was when he had to, to make it look like he was in his life. Like Father’s Day and other holidays. It really really hurt my son.
HE has to put a stop to her and if he doesn’t… He’s either ok with it or to weak to tell her enough is enough!!! In either case, he would be history