I need some advice please, I know I will be judged but, My birth mother, who did not raise me, just gave me less than two-week notice that she’s moving in with me. She and her three pets are coming from a different state. I have already got so much on my plate. I am scared to admit that I’m already stressed out. I am getting married in a month; my second job starts Saturday. I have four kids and three pets of my own. I have to move her into my autistic daughter’s room, and she’s very stressed with change. Now I do have time to prep my daughter. But I have two other kids with different needs as well, and I’m just stressed. My roof is getting repaired, my dryer just busted, and more, I have so much going on. Is it wrong that I am more upset then I am happy, I feel its bad timing? I feel like this makes me a bad person for being upset. My mom’s not even old enough to need help, yet shes still young, and we have a good relationship, so these are good bonuses. Please help me feel better about myself.
It’s your house, say NO!
Tell her now isn’t a good time. It’s your house.
YOUR house YOUR rules tell her no
Girl say no. You will feel like a million dollars!
i would tell her no?
Uh no you have to say no
You have a say in who lives with you… just say no.
Does she realize the stress she’s bringing you? My mom moved in with us a few months ago. We asked her, had time to really plan and it is still stressful.
Uh…tell her no? You don’t HAVE to let her.
Maybe instead of seeing it as a burden … maybe she can help lighten your load
Hahaha ummm NOPE!!! She can’t tell you what she is doing with YOUR HOME and not like she’s done much for you by the sounds of it! She’s not entitled to SHIT!!! Bye bye
Tell her no. You have that right. Nobody can just tell you they are moving in
It’s your jouse so just say NO! She didn’t ask to stay with you, she told you. Umm hell no! You have too much going on and you have a full house. So just say she has to stay somewhere else
No
No
No
And don’t feel guilty for your decision.
It’s your house say no. There is no law saying you have to let her move in with you, just because she is your mother. Put your kids and your needs first.
Talk to her! Is she on the verge of homelessness? If not then tell her its not a good time. If she has no other choice but to come to you please be charitable. A lot of times people think we can write off people in true need because it makes us uncomfortable. At the end of the day she’s your family and if she NEEDS help, help her. If shes only moving because she wants to be close to you or wants her life to be easier then say NO and dont feel bad.
You’re a grown up, she can’t just invite herself to your house. I’d tell her you don’t have room or means to support her.
Honestly, situations where family or friends move in rarely go well and your mother sounds like she has boundary issues to just pop this on you rather than bring it up and discuss it. What a tough situation. I’m sorry you’re going through this!
Say no plain and simple
Tell her sorry no room in the inn.
Who tf is she to decide that? Tell:clap: her 
no:clap:
Telling you and not asking? If you don’t want her there, put your foot down… I would say no way…
Just say no u owe her nothing plain as it could be let her no u have to much going on at the moment
Honor thy mother I mean life is always full of obstacles you just have to learn and adjust look at it like a blessing instead of a burden
Tell her no. You are an adult.
So.
You don’t have to at all.
You owe nobody anything.
Your children come first and YOU come first.
If she didn’t raise you then you especially don’t owe her anything.
You’re allowed to put your foot down and say NO.
Tell her no you have your own problems you dont need hers
Sometimes you have to say no. This is one of them.
Um. Tell her no she isn’t moving in with you?? That’s not how that works. When she shows up don’t let her in. Doesn’t sound like you have the physical or mental room for her.
What is this “told you” shit… u are a grown ass
Women…you make your own decisions about your household…next, please!
Talk to her. Tell her how you’re feeling
You’re a grown up! You’re aloud to say no. She can’t make decisions for you, and you shouldn’t be expected to just take it. I mean if you want to be nice and offer a temp place while she finds her own place, super nice of you. But that’s it
You have a right to say no
Say no, simple as that.
How does someone just tell you they’re moving in with you? That’s not how it works? It’s rude and inconsiderate to just decide that and not ask you. I would tell her no way can she live at your house but you’ll help her find another solution after your wedding
You don’t owe anyone except your children. Focus on you and them, if you don’t want her there, tell her no.
Umm if shes not paying your bills. I’d simply state “no you’re not”. You need to put your foot down
Please keep in mind if you do not say NO NOW, it might be a legal matter to get her out if it does. It work.
Tell her no in a nice way that you don’t have the room for her
Someone can’t just TELL you they’re moving in with you. That’s just not how it works… and honestly if you allow it with how you’re already feeling about it, you have no one to blame but yourself.
How can someone just tell you that they are moving in? Like you get to make that not your mom
You tell her no. She should of asked.
You don’t owe her anything.
Will she be helpful when she is there? Cleaning, cooking, babysitting? Maybe tell her that is the trade off?
Yeah, the answer here is NO. you can’t move in with me!
Say No! You’re a grown up!
You can say no. I know that’s hard to do. Go ahead and start putting in applications for her for housing in your area.
Uhhhh this makes no sense. People can’t tell you they are moving in with you regardless of who they are.
tell her no… your daughters mental state is more important, youre getting married in a month, and you have your hands full as it is … she didnt raise you she has no right to just throw this on you!!! you are more than justified in your feelings
Uh no the fuck she isnt lol
Say no. Regardless of who they are they cant just force themselves on you like that. Someone cant just tell you that they are moving in.
Make ground rules, if she’s not contributing financially, she must take housework off your plate, and childcare. She’s not your servant, but she should contribute. Especially if she’s able, she should take some of your burdens away from you.
Dont let her move in! Think about yourself!
She can’t just move in because she says so
Who just tells someone they’re moving in… That right there would be a huge hellllll no. If they don’t have the respect to ask i can’t imagine how fun it will be when she’s there 
. Good luck!!!
That sounds like a bad move. And, once things go bad, the relationship will not likely recover.
Why would someone try and move in a month before your wedding? Is she unemployed and has no where else to go? Seriously not your obligation. And to be told…not asked?
Tell her it’s just not feasible
Tell her no. She didn’t raise you. You have no obligation to take care of her now.
You obviously already have enough on your plate without your mother adding to it! She can’t just come and say she’s moving in 
who does that! I have an autistic child myself & I don’t see it going over well with you moving someone into their room. Tell her no
Your family is top priority right now so say NO. People can ask, but they can’t just tell you they’re moving in!
I’m sorry, what? Tell her no. She can’t force herself into your home.
.what is her financial situation? If she can afford to help financially then possibly a garage conversion? Or maybe a small trailer on the property. Either way you must voice your position on this issue. Can she get assistance from an agency that would help her gain a vacant room? Many questions. I was a single parent. Not easy. U mentioned marriage in the near future. How does ur fiance feel about this?
I think you already know what you should do. Don’t let her move in. You are not obligated to let someone overturn your life and your children’s lives just because they are family. Tell her you love her but she can’t move in with you!
It’s your house tell her no that you can’t do it right now
Say no. Sorry but no.
Tell her sorry no room. Don’t do that to your daughter. Her world will be devastated. And bring three pets? No!
Obviously she got this idea from somewhere that its okay and you guys have talked about it before, maybe she thinks she is helping and trying to take some stress off you or maybe shes in a bad situation. But no sane person says I’m going to move states away in two weeks make room for me, if that is the case I would definitely say NO because I wouldn’t want that kind of impulse around my children and it’s just plain rude as hell.
PS: NO is an answer that doesn’t need an explanation took me many years to learn that.
Get a backbone,tell her no,she can get her own place or stay were she is…tell her the truth…maybe she,s running from something going on around her own home,you dont need that stress
Dont let her move in your house your choice just because she gave birth to you doesnt mean you owe her anything
I’m still at the “She said she was moving in with me”…
Excuse me?
Even,if my mom said that, I’d be all, Umm, no. You can’t at this time
Honey, in some states, after 30 days, it becomes a legal,matter to evict her and it’ll cost hundreds. Say NO.
For your dryer, look for a Habitat store or check local groups, you may be able to find one cheap and decent until you can get a newer one. 
Congrats on your wedding, but tell her NO.
Ummm… NO!!! NO WAY!!! Tell her it’s not going to happen … Getting married shortly is enough! Dont need another person and three dogs on top of that!
So she just decides to move herself in without permission? I don’t care if she’s your mother. Even if she did raise you, she most definitely shouldn’t just think, oh, I can move in with my daughter whenever I want and there’s nothing she can do about it. You have to tell her no. Don’t feel guilty for it. Tell her she has to find somewhere else before she even gets there. Speak up. Don’t let her run you over like that or else that’s what’s going to happen as soon as she steps foot into your door. Find some shelters for her if she does come anyway after you told her no. Offer a rode there if you must. But do not let her step foot into your home!
Tell her no. She’s a grown ass adult, she needs to take care of herself and you need to be able to take care of your family.
If my birth mom did that I wouldn’t allow her in.
Tell her no way! This is your house, your safe space and she’s forcing her way in. You can change the locks and lock the doors so if she tries to force her way in, she’s breaking and entering.
How can she TELL you she is moving in??
Well maybe set time limit of helping her get in her feet not have her there permanently she is ur mom and u said u have good relationship with her so why not let her for but help her get a place and settled on her own and if she not willing to do so then there shelters she can go to and in mean time instead of her paying rent keep that aside for moving in her own place quickly and have her help with housework cooking and such that what id do I mean she did give u life and now needs yr support so it right thing to do
No is a full sentence
. First off why did you let your birth mother someone who it seems has had little to do with your raising TELL you she’s moving in…sorry not sorry, that’s 100% your fault. As an adult your allowed to say no and I damn sure wouldn’t let anyone “tell me” their moving in my home. 
Say this is not a good move for you or your family…
She “told” you? She didnt ask ?
Nobody, and i mean nobody, can just tell you they are coming to move in. Its time to put your mom pants on and say no, my children come first, you will have to find somewhere else to go. End of story.
Shes a user. No, won’t work. Have your new husband say no too.
Tell her no. Age obviously has no respect for you so it should be easy on your part.
She needs to raise herself and come visit you and your family. No, it’s not ok to let her disrupt and disrespect you and your family. Her hardships are not your problems don’t let it be one of them.
I would just say no and let her know that you don’t have the room
That’s your house. Nobody can just tell you they’re moving in.
Nope I wouldn’t be doing that
Just because she gave birth to you does not mean you’re obligated to help her, especially if she’s completely able-bodied.
Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and your kids. When people need help you lend an open hand when YOU CAN! Not on someone elses terms. Also, if your daughter is autistic you are not doing whats best for HER but putting someone elses needs above her own.
You need to tell her nicely but firmly NO. First you truly do not have the room. Why should you have to displace your daughter. Maybe she can come and sleep on the couch while you help her find an apartment or home near by. But dont make her comfortable and put a time limit on her stay. After that time limit she’ll need to go to a hotel. Dont worry she’ll get over it.
You have so much going on and it always seems its never a good time, funny how that works!! Question, you stated that your mom just TOLD you she’s moving in, she didn’t ask!!! First that’s inconsiderate but we all don’t know the whole story. Also how much help does she need or is she able to help you out by moving in?!? Yes this could be a blessing, she may not have raised you but you did state you have a good relationship so please disregard the message sent in this post by the person saying you owe her nothing!! You seem better than that. My mother didn’t raise me but has always been there for me as an adult. It’s never too late to have a relationship. Honey it’s never a good time for a lot of things that occur in our lives. I so get where your coming from but things always seem to work itself out💕
Make a pro’s and cons list. Express yourself to your fiance maybe he can help with an outsiders perspective.
This is such bullshit nobody would move in with me unless I gave the go ahead…Grow up and put your foot down or shut up and live in misery.
Tell her you don’t have the room for her
You don’t have to move her in. She can’t force you to do that. Tell her no
If she did not raise you, why does she feel she needs to be living with you? Was she in your life before she needed you?
It’s your house. Just tell her no.
You’re not wrong for feeling that way at all! Sounds like you’ve got enough on your plate already. You dont need the added stress. Unless there are some pros to her moving in then maybe. But if that’s the case I would tell her two weeks is not enough time to get things ready. Good luck!
She may be a big help for you. Make it known if she moves in you NEED her help . Babysitting while your at work and such or just need a break. Maybe she could chip in for a new dryer as well