No one can just move in without you agreeing to it
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Told you?? Red flag number one. I would say no. Shes welcome to move closer if she pays her own rent some where else you owe her nothing. This will also put a strain on yoyr marriage , children etc .
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How the hell is she telling you that she is moving in with you??? Life doesn’t work that way. A simple no will suffice. Tell her to look for housing elsewhere. Close by but not in the same house.
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Tricky, I would tell her how much it will negatively impact my family’s life because we don’t have the space. Ask if she will be helping with bills, working, groceries. And how long she plans on staying. Make it clear that it’s short term. And that she must start looking for her own place. Agree on a timeline.
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Hell no! Too much on your page to have to worry about that.
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ermm say no dont let any one just take over
Say No absolutely Not! She should have thought ahead and applied for income based appartment and or whatever. Unless you invited her, then don’t let someone tell you what to do in your own house.
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Talk to her and tell her she didn’t ask you first! That’s ridiculous! In what planet do people do that??
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If you can’t do it, you can’t do it…you are about to have a husband, how does he feel? You are obviously not happy about it… your children NEED you to be good
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Tell her no. Lease wont allow it
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Not fair to uproot your special needs child from her safe space. Either tell her NO or make her sleep on the couch. Whatever u do, set boundaries and stick to them. If u truly have a good relationship, she aught to understand that your family comes 1st.
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Just say NO. you really don’t owe her anything at the cost of your own family
I bet you if you tell her she has to pay half the bills and pay a pet deposit she won’t even think about moving in with you
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It’s not worth the stress… My MIL and her 16 year old son moved in with us years ago. It ended badly… I kicked her out. Her son stayed until he was 18 I helped him get his GED glasses braces DL and a job… She caused so much stress between me and my partner and my kids suffered emotionally as well… I also had my brother move in once and it ended badly… but neither of them wanted to help out my man was the only income… If you are stressed now and she’s not even there yet it’s only going to get worse…
Who tells someone they are moving in? How about, no? Your don’t owe anyone an explanation.
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Ummm…did you offer? Because, hello…boundaries!!! She doesn’t get to tell you she is moving in! That is something that needs to be OFFERED. Set boundaries and say no. It isnt something that will work for your family
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No. You have your hands full. If she respected and cared for you she wouldnt have… I would say asked but she didnt even ask. No.
Do not allow it. You will be miserable and your child with autism will be as well. I have a child with asd. Routine and their own space is important.
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Put YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN’S NEEDS FIRST!!!
YOU are THEIR MOM!!!
YOUR JOB IS TO TAKE CARE OF THEM!!!
Don’t be afraid to tell her no!! Please!!!
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You do what is right for you and your kids. Did she not even ask first. If not you owe her nothing
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You not only have a right to say NO, but your children and you Need to say NO! You said it. You have too much going on.
You might consider seeking counseling and picking up some self-help books. One that comes to mind is a book on assertiveness. This will help in taking a confident stand without feeling guilty as you say no. But, if your mother is on her way, then now is the time to tell her that now is not the time.
Good luck.
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She doesn’t get to tell you that she’s coming to live with you. If you don’t want her there because you’re stressed out… she is going to have to deal with that.
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Why does she have to move in with you? I hope you don’t feel like you owe her because you don’t. Also most mothers would know you have too much on your plate and wouldn’t add more stress by moving in. It sounds like your kids are or will “suffer” at some point because of crowding and a big change in routine. Can you say no?
You don’t have to let her I have a crazy household I live with my fin mil bil my husband and our 2 kids and my oldest with autism 4 cats 2 are ours my husband works to pay for house I cook and clean after everyone I get no me time I’m lucky to get one shower a month to myself tell her no
Your plate is full and you are already stressed. Ask yourself if you weren’t already so stressed would you want her to move in. If the answer is no then you need to go with that. If the answer is yes then you may want to take more time to work something out. Ultimately you have to make this decision on your own just remember if you’re not happy nobody in that house is going to be happy either. Good luck.
Uh. Tell her no? You’re an adult. You can decide who’s living in your house.
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First off- you don’t HAVE to let her move in. Seems pretty irresponsible of her and that sounds like it’s gonna bring more problems
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Maybe she wants to help it seems like an extra person may actually help you except for moving around you family can she sleep with one of the other children or on a fold out in the mean time you all get adjusted I’d actually be more worried about the pets getting along but ler your mom help you girl that’s an extra income as well I rhink it’s a nice gesture on her part moving her whole life to help or be close to her daughter 
I’m confused as to why she would just tell you she was moving in with you.
Wouldn’t she have had the manners to ask if she could?
It’s your house, put you and your kids first.
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Tell her now not to come
Tell her your landlord said no more people no more pets
Or he is going to throw all of u out
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How does someone tell you they are moving in with you? Just say no.
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Tell her no. Tell her your landlord said no (honestly moving her in without permission can get you kicked out) She can’t force you to let her live there. You have to put your kids first and she needs to put her grandchildren first.
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Lol she just decided she was moving in? No. Your house you get to decide who lives there.
Makes me think of a family member I have that will plan visits a week in advance and tell me to just cancel my plans. Also brings their dog to my house where I already have 3 dogs and one of them is female aggressive with other dogs.
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Did she ask you or tell you? Not that it matters, but, sheesh! You don’t tell someone something like that, you ask!!! Since she didn’t ask for your permission, you also Don’t need her permission to tell her no…you just can’t!!!
I would tell her no and to find somewhere else. Your an adult. She can not tell you what your going to do with your own house hold
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You have EVERY right to tell her no. That there’s no room. Maybe offer to find her a place close by. If she loves you and cares, she’ll understand.
When she TOLD you she was moving in, you should’ve told her NO. You don’t owe her a damn thing! I don’t care if you didn’t have any of the issues listed above, you still don’t have to let her move in with you. She’s grown she can figure things out on her own.
DON’T DO IT!
I would politely tell her no. You nor your family need to have your entire life rearranged
Tell her you have a flea infestation. Lol
I’m confused. She told you she’s moving in? It’s your house, just say no?
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Just explain yourself to her she should understand
uhm, nobody “tells me” they are moving in with me. She should have asked, and respected your decision when you said no, can’t do
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Your home tell her no. Who does she think she is she didnt raise you and why would make your daughters life change for her and more pets. Your asking for trouble. Call her tell her she can not come. It is not a good time for you. Do not let anyone make you feel bad. YOUR HOUSE SAY NO you are not obligated to house her
I think it was very rude of her to TELL you she is moving in . Stand your ground. Why isn’t she able to live on her own. I would tell her NO WAY. You have enough on your plate. Your happiness & your children are your only responsibility.
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Say this is not a good move for your family, when people need help you lend an open hand, not on someone elses terms, don’t worry, she’ll get over it, this will also put a strain on your marriage.
It’s going to get ugly , just tell her how you feel and she cannot move in
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What is with the questions in this group? My in-laws MADE ME do this. My mother just TOLD ME she’s moving in. Nobody makes decisions for YOUR life but YOU.
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Boundaries girl. Say no.
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Umm…try saying no?
Tell her no lol do not let her in
If she just told you then I would say that you can’t handle anymore at this time.
Just tell your mom no, there is no room!
It’s yo mum dont neglect her no matter that she never raise you forgive her shes the one who brought u on this earth
She can’t move in with you unless you give her permission to. She didn’t raise you, but now wants to dictate your life? And you’re OK with that? I don’t understand what it is you’re asking. Don’t take her in unless she has something to contribute to the household which will ease your responsibilities. Don’t take on anymore burdens.
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Tell her no…plain and simple … its about your children’s needs not hers.
I let my mother move in with me after her strokes. From ga to tx She didn’t raise me either she had no patience for my kids or my home we ended up kicking her out she lives in an apartment now
You need to practice telling this woman NO!!
That is your household you call the shots. Its your decision whether you allow her to move in, not hers. Youre grown
You have absolutely every right to feel how you do. Your human and even though she is your mother you have your own family as well who need you and hell girl you need you. It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to be angry mad pissed off. Do what’s right for your kids and you your mother should understand!!
you got this!!
If you have your own place and pay your own bills etc, you can tell her no! Offer to help her find somewhere to rent or something but you have the right to tell her “no”
Honestly imo I think you you should be grateful that you have a mom who is willing to be in your and your children life. I was unfortunately blessed with 2 peice of shit parents who are both addicts and drunks. I’ve been on my own since I was 17. My mom lives 5 minutes away from me and I couldn’t even pay her to come see her grandchild. Just appreciate the family you have they won’t be here forever!!
Just tell your mom no .simple as that.
Tell her it’s not a good time. Maybe after the wedding, and you get some stuff figured out
NO is a perfectly acceptable response with no explanation needed. Set your boundaries.
All you have to do is say no
You think you guys have a good relationship when she told you she was moving in instead of asking you. Girl you’re about to have another laundry list of problems when she’s there, didn’t sound like she cared about you to me at all. And why would she just up and move states away, like it sounds sketchy.
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To her Mom. Learn to respect others people’s boundaries. You are wrong for telling her and not asking. Stay your ass where you are and don’t try to make her feel guilty. After all you didn’t raise her and she don’t owe you or your animals a place to stay. Get your own place and visit when she asks.
Tell her flat out… NO! She didn’t raise you. In my book she has zero right to just impose on you and the kids like that.
Just tell her no . Heath and well being of your daughter is priority.
Do you want me to call her and tell her there is no room? I mean are you a child? Tell her no or send me her phone number and I will tell her for you…I can’t believe this is even a real post
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I guess I don’t understand the part where you said your mom SAID she was moving in with you. You can’t just up and tell people you are moving in. Do people not ask orrrrrr
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It your mother says it in the word
Not no, but hell no. It doesn’t work that way. You have your own family to take care of.
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Um what? No one TELLS me they are moving in with me. I have my own family to think of & take care of. That’s a hard pass. She can figure out how to help herself because she is an adult & she isn’t your boss.
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Im sorry but why did u allow your birth mother to TELL YOU she’s moving in? And why would u allow such behavior? It’s quite simple… YOU tell her NO
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Arent you grown? Isnt it your house? Lay down the law and say no? Wtf
I tell her where to go mother or no mother
Yeahhhh no. You cant just tell someone you’re moving in with them. You have your own life and children. And you are getting married soon, too. You need to tell her no and stick to your guns.
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Ummmm unless she can help you around the house and with the children then that should be a hard no from you, that should not make her feel unloved and if it does she isn’t going to do anything but bring you down. try to enjoy life a little
I’m sorry, but how does she just tell you she is moving in? If your plate is full tell her no. Your kids have to take priority over what she needs especially if you have kids with special needs.
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It’s hard but you need to put your foot down.Your new husband to be isn’t happy I’m sure.No!
Wait she “told you” she’s moving in to YOUR HOUSE? if it isn’t something you offered or even can handle atm, don’t let it happen. Like you said, she’s still young enough to take care of herself. You have to put you and your kids life first.
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Just say no. Sorry mom, can’t have you living with me. Not even for a night. Here’s a list of hotels and apartments in the area.
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What?? I’m a birth mother and I had to give up my rights and the last thing I’d ever wanna do is intrude on his life and tell him how it’s gonna be from here on out.
Being honest, you are a grown ass woman correct? Seems like it’s your choice. Not hers.
For your samity… tell her no. It is not fair to have to move kids to other rooms with everything that is going on in your life. Tell her she is welcome to visit but she will need to find another place to live. And no to the dogs.
I would tell her she needs to make other arrangements.
Sounds like a lot to go threw… Even without her moving in… But just try and remain strong… Ya know what they say, u can only get so far down before u have to go back up… Its been true in my case tho ive gotten pretty far down b4 but ive raised way higher… Just dont let ANYONE or ANYTHING come between u and ur mental health. Best wishes to ya!
Can i ask why she is moving in.
Tell her not to come. Simple as that. If it’s going to make your life more stressful I wouldn’t do it.
Give her a time limit to get own placee.Do not let her move in until this is established.
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It is your home. You can say no. You have no obligation to take on anyone else and their problems. Stand your ground.
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Uhm, no. She’s rude. Tell her to go elsewhere.
Tell that bitch no, she can’t move in if you/your fiancé don’t let her.
Tell her NO!!! No stress no bs. She doesn’t get to decide that she’s just going to move into someone’s home without discussing the matter with the one that pays the bills. She didn’t stick around and raise you so it’s not your job to feel sorry for her or raise her or her dogs. That would be very ugly on move in day.
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You don’t owe her. Read that over and over until you realize it. I am adopted. I adopted my kids. I have a lot of experience with birth, natural etc parents. She will only have power you GIVE her. If she is telling you she is moving in. I can only assume the reaons you and her were initially separated have not been resolved in her. No way in the world should she move into your personal sanctuary. She will bring way more than just herself, which alone is too much. Saying no is hard but getting her out once she’s in is waaaayyy harder. If you cant tell her in person, write it in a text, letter, something. Honestly if you let her have a foothold you are causing your own stress and sorrow.
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She might be a big help to you, guess time will tell.
I feel like she should have asked rather than told you that she is moving in with you thats red flag #1. She seems to not respect the fact that you have a full home of your own… Also what does your fiance say???
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Tell her no.That you love her but you can’t handle more right now and there is not enough room.
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She gave you up to take care of her needs. You should not take her in. You need to take care of yourself right now. She should understand. If not, cut her off
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Saying no does NOT make you a bad person. Put your kids and yourself first.
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How do even think it’s ok that she TELLS YOU that she’s moving in with you? I don’t get it!
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It’s sad we live in a time where one person can’t keep a roof over their heads. Soo many older people have no other option. I’m guessing she will move if she can find housing.