My side of the family thinks I am not doing enough for my sons birthday: Thoughts?

So my side of my family thinks I should be doing more for my sons birthday this since all I’m getting him is a new bike. But he’s having a party at his favorite park and the very next day we fly out for a week long trip out of state to visit family and is going to a theme park for his actual birthday plus more! My dad is making me feel like I’m a poor mother who can’t provide because I’m getting him one thing. Am I?


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My side of the family thinks I am not doing enough for my sons birthday: Thoughts?

No, that’s ridiculous. Sounds like he will have a great birthday!

Tell ur dad to do it then !


Who cares what they think? You know you are doing a lot. And even if the bike was it? That’s your business not theirs

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Your dad is wrong, straight up. You’ve done MORE than enough.

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No you’re doing great, experience means more that toys and material things. Tell your dad he’s welcome to buy him all the material things, but the experiences you are providing will last a lifetime.


Personally seems a bit overboard!

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He’s getting a trip going to the park…and a bike…what more could a kid need???.. that sounds like a perfect birthday to me


Are they going to be providing more funds to do more things? If not tell them to mind their own. I’d be sooo happy if “all I got” was a bike and was going to a theme park for my birthday!

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No that’s good .kids are spoiled these days.

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Sounds like he’s going to have a great birthday. I wish I could do things for my kids for their birthdays, but my husband and I don’t do anything for our kids birthdays because no one ever comes, and my husband never really celebrated birthdays.

Sounds like he’s going to have a great birthday! I’d tell them if they feel you aren’t doing enough they’re welcome to pitch in

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Tell you father feel free to do the rest he think should be done as your doing those OTHRR things in addition.

They aren’t raising him. It’s not their business.

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Experiences over toys! Always! I’m sure he will remember getting a new bike, because that’s a big gift. But a bunch of plastic junk that we lose all the pieces too? Nope! You’re taking him on a trip as well, he will remember that!


Tell your family to go shit in their hat

Sounds like a good birthday to me. :woman_shrugging:t4:


I couldn’t imagine getting all that for my birthday when I was a kid. We got a cake, favorite meal & small gift.


He’s going to a theme park. That is a great gift. We only get our kids a few gifts (not expensive) or one gift such as a vacation.

A flight for how many people costs what ? A week without working costs what ? Theme park tickets plus souvenirs cost what ? If your family is all about the money, well, there’s the cost.
Teach your kid to be humble. It is NOT about the gifts or what people can do for you. It’s about spending time with the people who care about you. Don’t raise a kid that’s going to freak out when someone only gets them a card with $10 bc that’s all they can afford…

So you are flying for a week long trip and going to a theme park? And your dad says you are poor?? I don’t think he knows what poor is


Girl what no way I literally got my kid one thing it’s hard now adays ur doing more for his day is just fine don’t stress over it I don’t think I got my other kid anything for her day she is ten but we went to the Della for her

That’s a nice gift. And a trip! I’m sure your son will be happy. Don’t give in.

Lololol my kids get a homemade cake a gift and pick their dinner. Could we do more yes but we just celebrate birthdays as something extravagant

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That’s doing him alot

If you’re satisfied with what you got him for his birthday don’t let anyone else get inside your head! Sometimes too much is just that… too much.

Don’t let him make you feel like that. Don’t give him that much power over your emotions. That sounds like a perfect, & fun birthday. All that matters is your son has fun. Your dads opinion is irrelevant.

As long as your son is happy that’s all that matters. Don’t let their opinions ruin y’all’s fun. If they think it’s not enough they can get stuff for him or provide funds to do so. Most kids would be happy simply with the bike. You are going above and beyond. They need to keep their opinions to themselves if it’s not helpful.

Y’all have fun on that trip and Happy Birthday to your son!

Sounds like a great birthday to me! Memories last longer than a bunch of things.


Your are doing enough.

It’s your child. People are wild.

That sounds excellent

Wow you are doing so much good on you mum

No you are doing great
Thats sounds like an awesome birthday. Teach the boy and your father that its not about the presents or how much is spent. Its about the quality time. If he’s going to see family he will get plenty. You are doing great

If that’s how they feel tell them to pay to go all out for his birthday either that or stfu it sounds like you have planned an AMAZING birthday FOR YOUR SON!

If they want to get him stuff they can. Bikes aren’t cheap and you’re also going on a trip?! Lucky kid! You’re doing a lot already!

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You’re doing wonderful!!! :two_hearts: I love the gifts of experiences!!!

Tell your dad to front some money, wth?! A bike and a vacation with a theme park day included. That’s quite the Birthday gift. I don’t think he needs more than that.

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Then they can take care of everything for his party.

No, yr not…it’s the thought, that counts, and it sounds like, yr doing the things he likes! Pay no attention to negativity, when yr doing the best u can!

Sounds like a great birthday your doing more than enough

Tell him to get him something more then.

Sounds like it’s going to be a great birthday for him! Good job mom! :grin::heart::sunny:

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No absolutely not! That is definitely enough. Gotta stop teaching these kids to value materials things. A bike, party where he will no doubt get other gifts, and a trip and theme park is more that enough. Great job Mom.

We make a homemade cake and it’s usually just family that comes over. We buy one big gift for them and that that.

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I feel that’s more than enough gifts and celebration for a Birthday! Tell your family this is my child and I will raise and celebrate him/her the way I see fit. They don’t sound very supportive, you may want to reevaluate boundaries with them.

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Screw your dad. Your doi g plenty

Tell them they are welcome to buy him anything that they want. You ate doing more than anyone I know.

OK if they are worried about it tell them to buy him more stuff. Lol 

It’s his birthday. Not Christmas.

We have 4 kids and for birthdays we don’t go off the number of presents. We have a dollar amount that’s spent. Birthdays are $50, plus dinner at a restaurant of their choice. Our daughter will be 9 in June and we asked her what she wants… she wants to go to Build A Bear and to dinner.

I’m not sure how old your son will be turning, but you’re not getting him just one present. He’s getting a bike, a trip and a trip to an amusement park.

On a side note, what you can buy/give your child for their birthday does not constitute providing for your child. I’m gonna assume that he has a roof over his head, clothes on his back, food on the table and unconditional love. THAT is providing for your child.

Sounds wonderful!! Def enough and he’ll love it <3

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Thats sounds more than good to me.
I’ve come to realize as I e gotten old is you do what’s good for you and anyone who isn’t happy can go elsewhere… your son will be more the happy and that’s all that matters

Kids won’t remember the things you got them, but they will remember the experiences you gave them. You’re doing just fine.

You’re doing fine. It sounds more like your family wants a party type thing for them for their own reasons not for your son. Loving your son is best for him. So keep doing that.

You are doing what is right for you! I don’t throw over the top parties.

I think you are doing plenty. For my girls birthday I take them out to eat and buy them gifts. I don’t do parties because one time I gave my oldest who is 22 now a party when she was 6 and no one showed up. She was so sad and heartbroken and since that day I stopped doing parties. Don’t let them make you feel bad and if they feel like you should do more then tell them that they can pay for it

Wow thats absurd. I just had my sons birthday & i did not get him 1 gift. The way i see it im paying for an entire party which is exspensive so to me that is the gift. & on top of that the kid gets so many gifts from other people & they dont even know whats from who! Tell your dad that if hes so concerned that you can use the money that you were going to use for the theme park to buy more gifts instead & not do anything on the kids actual birthday & see what he says!

how old is this child how you you going to top this next year :thinking:

Eff them. Kids remember experiences more than the presents they get.

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You’re doing great❣️ Our parents often don’t understand that creating experiences & memories are better than things.

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You’re doing more than what some people do for their kids. I love what you are doing for your son.

Ignore them… you’re doing plenty… kids remember the time spent, not the money

Sounds like a great Birthdays :partying_face:
Don’t let them make you feel guilty
For my youngest son summer Birthdays I do a lot of experience ( We have went to Frankmuth, we have done cedar point, camping in Port Huron ) and I only get him maybe a small gift that goes along with the trip normally

Wow so a week long family trip and amusement park on his birthday (couple of hundred dollars) plus a new bike at least 100 dollars and a party isn’t enough? This doesn’t sound like it’s a party for your son it sounds like a party for your dad to show something off. Stick to your plan and what your son wants.

I had my daughters birthday party and all I got her was a new bike. Thing was freakin expensive. She loved it and was more than ok with only getting the 1 present from us.

I counted like 4 things he’s tripping

Our kids get 1 gift from my husband and I, they get to pick out where they want to go for dinner and then ice cream cake when we get home. Any other gifts they get come from family members if they choose to send a gift. This is what works for our family. If what you’re doing for your family works for you and your kid is happy, then no one else’s opinion matters. You don’t need to throw a huge party or plan a trip to Disney, things like that to celebrate a birthday every single year. I feel like if you do a huge thing for every birthday celebration, then it’s possible that on your kids part they begin to expect those huge things every birthday and can get upset or disappointed that they didn’t get a big celebration that one time you can’t do it. I’m not saying that scenario happens with every child, but it can happen. I think you are doing plenty to celebrate your child’s birthday.

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Lmao it’s your kid, not theirs. Do whatever tf you want. Sounds like a good bday to me. If they wanna be so concerned tell them to have another of their own.

Then tell your dad to put on and pay for a party he feels is appropriate…put up or shut up…

Tell him unless he is paying for a bigger/better party then you and your child are content with the events planned

That’s a lot honestly… Birthdays are for memories along with every other holiday… Not about materialist items or how much was spent! I spent hundreds for my daughters 8th to feel like crap when she didnt play with anything then I asked what she wanted to do and guess what, a cake and some friends with family to hang out and have a good time was said to be 100000× better than the previous birthday with expensive gifts!! You are a GREAT MOM AND YOUR CHILD WILL LOVE EVERYTHING YOU DO!!! It maybe just me but I would tell em bite me, they arent footing the bill and just making you feel like crap!

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I actually got sick of the build up of toys that don’t get played with, I started doing one decent gift and a fun trip for everything. I think that’s a perfect birthday gift! For a kid I’m sure has everything he needs or wants, you’re doing great mama!

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Memories made is 10x better than “stuff” you are doing great!

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What else should you be doing? Sounds good.
If they want more, let them pay for it


We tend to only get our kids one big thing for their birthdays and usually not much more for Christmas. Our kids have never cared that they don’t get much because they are so happy with what they got and it’s something they really wanted. Plus they don’t need so many toys, I’m not going to clutter my house just to look like a good mom.

Your kid, your family, your decision. :woman_shrugging:

Ummm no. Your dad is crazy

You’re doing an awful lot! He will have a blast! But even if you weren’t, it’s none of their business really, tell them to mind their manners and stop being rude and judgey

Its bs!! You are doing plenty- actually more than plenty. My kids gets so spoiled from all the people in out life that i will be cutting back and making more memories as you are :slightly_smiling_face:

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What you buy / give to your kids don’t determine what kind of a parent you are , you can be rich and give them all what money can buy and be a shitty parent .
It’s not what you give them but the thought and effort you put into it and how special you make them feel on their special day .

I have done a lot for my daughters birthday, For five birthday I spent around 2,000 dollars :woman_facepalming:t2::woman_facepalming:t2: , for her seven I was kind of broke without a job , I was not able to do a big party ( I got her some presents though) my sister bought her a cake , I got some chips and sodas , I filled her bedroom with balloons and happy birthday signs , all of her cousins and the kids my mom babysit waited for her at her room to surprise.
She was so excited and extremely happy, she told me that that was her favorite birthday day ever :slightly_smiling_face:

Kids doesn’t care about material things , they just want to feel they are special:)

Tell them it must be nice to have tons of money and hand them a list of items they can go out an buy for his birthday.

He’s getting a trip and theme park for his birthday that’s not cheap

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what !!! a bike is more than enough

I think a bike is a wonderful gift! Sounds like you have plenty of celebration planned. I think most kids get way to much and it screws up their expectations.

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WTF a bike, party, a week long trip, theme park… What else does your dad expect? My kids would be thrilled with that. It’s much more than any of them have ever gotten &, my oldest is an adult. Tell gpa sweetly that he’s welcome to make up for your shortfall when you get back from your trip.


Let’s see here… a bicycle, a party at the park, and a trip to a theme park… you’ll also be visiting family. He’ll probably be getting additional gifts at the party at the park. Maybe even from the family you’ll be visiting out of state. The theme park is going to be expensive. Not just to get in, but for food, drinks, and souvenirs, plus any arcade games you play. I think your dad needs to do some more math in his head. Your son is doing all right this birthday!

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I took my little one to sea life and Lego land and I got her like one small gift. Birthday are not to just buy a bunch of gifts… that sounds amazing to get a bike a park at a park he loves and go to a theme park so much better then toys that will mostly be forgotten in a corner in less then a year 

Let them talk. Your kid is gunna have a great time.

You don’t have to go over the top every birthday and holiday. You are celebrating, and have things planned out. Some people can’t even do half of what you already have planned, and they still love their kids and celebrate in some way. Growing up, we were lucky to have cake. If it was a good time of year, we got ice cream and a present and card. Don’t let others with their opinions brow beat you into thinking you’re doing a bad job, because momma, you’re doing great. Have fun and do things your way.

No, if he worried about it tell him to buy him more stuff since he thinks you cant.

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What? New Bike + party + vacation + theme park… please remind your dad that some children go to bed with empty stomach and that they dont even get a simple cake. And that is a Reality


That’s plenty. So many kids would be so happy with that

A lot of kids would be wishing you were there Mom

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Birthdays today have gotten ridiculous…more than a wedding!!


One thing? He is having party going to theme park and a vacation WTH is wrong with your family just ignore them

Tell them to provide it all then

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Wow, that sounds like my kinda birthday! Tell your dad to buy whatever he feels his grandkid is lacking.

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Nope !!! But… if they want to step up and plan AND pay for a party, tell them to go for it. His favorite theme is…

I do a party or a gift lol so I think you nailed it:)!

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i mean, he’s going on a trip, he’s going to a theme park, etc. that’s a good birthday & he doesn’t need a whole bunch of presents when he’s doing all of that… it sounds like need gonna have fun with or without presents! have a safe trip :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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A bike, a birthday party and a theme park… That seems plenty enough to me.

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