Stand your ground that r your kids also. So talk to your husband. He needs to be on your side.
I dont think its fair that your husband has to cut off his family member because the two of you dont see eye to eye. If he’s comfortable letting HIS and YOUR kids see her. Then it’s pretty obvious he’s squashed the beef between them and the whole cps thing is over with… saying and doing are two different options. You and your sister in law may never like each other, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her neices or nephews and her brother… sometimes you gotta pick and. Choose your battles… is this situation worth making your husband feel that he gotta choose your side or her side… compromise with him and let it be. Hoping for the best
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“made me apologise for my face”?? wt…
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Just let her see the kids if she makes the effort to see them children are not a weapon in adults battles you don’t need to be friends if you don’t want to if you both make up well n good
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Marriage counselling. You need to be on the same page or it will ruin your relationship with secrets and lies
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Why does your husband need to cut contact with his sister? you and her dont get along leave that between you too.
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Forgiveness and move ahead…family is everything! We get so little time try not to waste it on grudges.
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I feel your reason is abit iffy to she can’t see the kids I think it should just be more don’t speak to me the reasons given arnt very grown up, either way done in secret isn’t very nice if shes seeing the kids you should have a say she may come in handy one day build your bridges at same time know who she is as a person n know what to trust her with
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Can you contact her? I would call and see if she’d be willing to sit down with you and talk. Let her know you want to work things out and clear the air and get back on good terms. Or call her and tell her you don’t want her to see the children in secret or behind your back. Tell her you want to be open and have her in your children’s life. I’d say I know we have had our issues and I don’t want you to feel you have to hide from me to see the children, what happened was hurtful to me and I’d like to let it go and try again. You’re important to my husband and that’s important to me. Would you like to come over and see the children and have coffee with me! See what she says if yes have her over feel her out be nice then after an HR or so bring up what was hurtful. I’d say I know we have different views which is ok I just don’t want us to fight or you and your brother to not talk for so long again I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings in the past I do need you to accept me for me though and try not to say hurtful things. Can we both do this?
See what happens
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Yea I don’t like the idea of anyone forcing children to show false affection to people. Very uncomfortable for the children and I dont like the message that sends them at a young age.
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figure how to get same page with your husband, he needs to grow balls back you and secret meetings is absolutely childish on both their parts. you either are there or she doesn’t see them and he needs to tell her that. sounds like you have right intentions and I would hold my ground.
This is an issue between you & your sister in law. Leave the children out of it.
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Tell him No she’s not seeing them and you know about his secret meeting discussion. He’s being disrespectful if he does otherwise.
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why isnt the husband trying to facilitate a truce between them?
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Id be pist too and I wouldn’t allow him to do that behind your back. Put your foot down. If he does it behind your back thats like lying and disrespectful as well. How could you trust him if he’s doing that
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You are not overreacting you guys need to be on the same page. She can’t go to him and completely single you out those are your children too. That is not healthy at all to be doing things behind your back and having secret meetings you’re his wife and you need to be 100% on board.
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Windshield in a car is larger so you can see where you’re going, rear view mirror is smaller, to let it go ! It’s between you and her NOT the kids , so let her see the kids or suck it up. Act like an adult and make up . Really? Very juvenile to think she’s going to bad mouth you to children, much more to talk about.
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If hes got custody rights he can do that
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I’d honestly let it go if I was you. I’m not saying forgive her, but don’t make the kids miss out on a relationship just because the adults can’t get along…
My SIL has decided that we (along with her other siblings) aren’t allowed to see her children and that her kids can’t play with ours - all because of stupid childish reasons - and the only people suffering from it is the kids on both sides who are missing out on relationships with their aunts, uncles and cousins.
You do not need to have a relationship with her but your kids deserve the chance to have one.
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TELL HIM NO! If he goes behind your back anyway you need to leave. He needs to support your decision 100% because in reality the second she threatened child services she put you in danger of loosing your kids (not saying you would have but the system is fucked enough) he needs to tell her either she sits down and talks like an adult or she will not be around the kids
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Toxic is toxic. Family or not. Definitely not overreacting, I’d be mad too.
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Thatd be the day ANYONE went against me and brought my kids around someone I was not comfortable with. Idc who it is, family or not. Thats a fight I will win. Not overreacting at all!
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She is their Aunt. You and her don’t have to like each other but the more people that love your children, the better.
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Unpopular opinion coming…
Seems like immature drama.
At the end of the day,that’s still his sister and her nieces or nephews. Siblings fight and make up. I wouldn’t expect my husband to pick me over his sister. I would try my best to be the bigger person and remember the kids need a aunty and healthly relationships. Let her be immature,but you can also be the bigger person and if you did that, you could be there while she saw the kids. Fake it till you make if you have to. I’d do that for my husband if that was my case.
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if someone doesn’t like or respect me they don’t have access to my kids🤷🏼♀️ toxic is toxic doesn’t matter who it is
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Your husband should respect your decision, you are his wife and the mother of his children. I’m not one to keep my children from family, but if they want to bad mouth me, call child services, and doing other “childish” things on me and my name then no… Having a sit down. And talking it out is one thing, then yes. But if my husband has to go behind my back and do a secret meet and greet then fuck no!! Y’all saying its childish, until it’s your husband or SO meeting in secret with your family your not comfortable with. That’s like saying about a perv oh he only makes you uncomfortable, not the kids. You do what you feel is comfortable for you and your children. If you can make a mends with her then yay, that is better for not just you but the kids as well. Good luck!!
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Maybe cut your losses. If you guys weren’t together you literally couldn’t stop him from allowing his kids to see her. Is it worth you leaving him for not respecting you…and still having him do it?
Or can you calm down and say maybe you can stop fighting it but tell him she needs to grow up about the child services and stuff.
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Ummm what? Suddenly you don’t get a say regarding your child?
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My ex’s mother would say awful things to me including wishing death on my daughter. Eventually the fact that he forced me to allow her around caused me to leave.
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Tell him flat out no and litetally confront her about everything and tell her until she GROWS UP and talks to you then she will not be allowed around the kids. If my husband did that id tell him pack a sleeping bag until he learns to respect me as his partner and communicate🤷
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Set boundaries with your husband.
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It’s his kids too , she may have said Ocs from anger , alit if people say things they don’t mean while mad , let your kids be lived by all family
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you will get way better advice joining Monster-In-Law Support Group. They understand what your going through and wont push u to allow toxicity in your childrens lives.
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Life is short. Family is important. Mend it
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Sounds like your husband needs to respect you or get out. He’s just letting her do it. Now planning secret meetings I wouldn’t let him take the kids anywhere unless you went. You need to sit him down and I will just call her out on the meetings so she knows you know.
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Some of the things she’s done seem minor to me. But others like her threatening to call CPS are giant red flags. Hell to the no. She has really obvious issues with boundaries. She might be his sister, but your kids are his kids AND your kids. You need a chat with hubby first about: why he thinks she’s changed, what he thinks is different now, and why he feels now is the time to re-establish a relationship with her. You and him need to be on the same page right now about boundaries with her, how she will appear in your kid’s lives, etc. That’s the bare minimum. I do think it would be best if you also had a direct conversation with her. If she’s really changed, she’ll woman up and come to the table to have that talk with you.
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Very unpopular opinion…there’s always 2 sides to every situation and somewhere in the middle is the truth. My ex SIL and I didn’t get along. She was pregnant when she met my brother and kept it hid from my family for months. I confronted her about it. She wouldn’t work, clean, take care of kids and my parents constantly gave them money. She didn’t like me because I didn’t buy into her woe-is-me sob story. Her version is I’m just a heartless bitch…partially true. My brother saw the writing on the wall and divorced her. We both had valid issues with the other. We tried to talk and work things out but it wasn’t in the cards…sit her down and talk.
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Very simple answer. If you can’t respect me you don’t get access to my kids.
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No one sees my kids with out my permission. This is a big red flag and NoNo. He either sides with you or go.
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He has a say in the kids too…
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Cut SIL out of your life
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So everyone telling her to forgive or let her kids around the aunt who threatens CPS just to be petty, would you let YOUR kids around someone who threatened CPS just to be petty 
Didn’t think so.
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Nope nope nope. Both parents agree or she never sees them.
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Ain’t no way in hell she’d be around my baby’s without sitting down and talking things out 
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No. She doesn’t need to see them. She’s an aunt not a parent or guardian
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Uhm this sounds really selfish of you to want to cut her out of your children’s lives because you and her had a petty argument! You need to grow up imo🤷♀️
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I’d be pissed too! You told him your conditions for her to see the kids and he needs to support you in that. It’s perfectly reasonable. That your husband allows her to talk badly about you is messed up. Sister or not if she talk shit about you in front of him he needs say something. He’s sounds like an ass. To do something that he KNOWS would piss you off is not a good sign that you have a good marriage, at least as far as his behavior is concerned. That he thinks nothing of lying to you is a bad sign too. What else does he hide from you? I’m not saying leave him cuz that’s extreme but you guys have issues obviously that need worked through. Go see a marriage counselor cuz his behavior can’t go on. I’m sure he has some things he thinks you do wrong too. Get counseling. That he’s ignoring your justified feelings because it’s his sister needs to be addressed, seriously.
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She made you apologise for your face??? HELL NO. You don’t need to be having a single conversation with her until she apologises. However. I’m a firm firm believer that children deserve love from every angle, and if she’s mature and loving enough to put aside your differences and not treat your children differently I would allow him to take them to see her. I don’t get on all that well with my sister in law most of the time, petty arguments and regular fallouts, but I love my nephew just as I love my own children and would be devastated if I couldn’t see him. I’d never treat him differently because his mother and I may not see eye to eye. X
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It irks me when I see people post those memes, especially my own family members. In my opinion we should be teaching all kids especially those we influence the most like our own to always show love and respect especially to our enemies. From the story Ive read you haven’t acted and your sister inlaw has over reacted, but its not ur job to teach her how to behavior better. Tell your husband No, not till she apologizes and going behind your back feels like he’s taking sides. You might not want to forgive her but you do need to move on for your husband ( thats his sister would you like someone to keep your childern part?) And a aunt wanting to know ur childern
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If someone doesn’t respect me, my marriage, or family I made they don’t get the privilege of being around us🤷♀️
We have boundaries set in place with everyone concerning our family.
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“You don’t have to like me but you WILL respect me” is the motto and that goes for anyone involved in my children’s lives as well. I’ve had no problem cutting off toxic family members for that very reason. Wanna see the kids? Don’t disrespect their mother. Period.
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You are gonna hate me. But they are his kids also. And if he wants to forgive his family and let them see the kids it’s only fair. Life is too short to hold grudges over a facebook post to begin with. It’s only fair he can let his kids see his family. For all you saying get rid of the husband. Umm hello If divorce is an option and on the table then he would still see his kids and could still have them around his family. Suck it up buttercup they are his kids and his family is their family.
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They’re his kids he has a say in who sees them
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First they are just as much his kids as they are yours which means he has just as much say in who is or is not in their lives as you do. Second seems like you need to have a conversation with him. there’s always more than one side to things and yours seems kind of sketchy.
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No your not overreacting. I would be p!$$ed! Your trying to be a mature adult about it by wanting to sit down and work out y’all’s issues and your husband is just wanting to sneak the kids to go see her. I would sit down and have a talk with him and tell him how you feel about it
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Does she have kids??? Have your husband try to sneak her kids and she hope she would react Problem solved
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Just because adults have an issue with each other over a Facebook post don’t make the kids suffer. A visit won’t hurt and they are his kids too. She is their family. The reason some kids have so many emotional problems is because they are caught in the middle of adult problems.
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Let it go. Be the bigger person. If you want to stay married then you have to accept each others family’s, even if you don’t like all of them. Remember even if you don’t like her she is still his sister that the kids aunt. You don’t have to see her or deal with her. Let him. The kids know the truth and love you. If she speaks badly of you in front of them they will not just assume it’s true and your husband should ask her not to do so.
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I’m the type of parent that would never let my own opinion/feelings get in the way of someone spending time with my children if they love my children and I know they are safe around them.
HOWEVER… if that particular person is threatening to or already is calling CPS for bogus reasons that are not true and their behaviour is going to negatively impact my children then that’s where I draw the line. Your husband needs to respect what you say and he needs to tell his sister that it’s between you two and that her and yourself need to sit down and talk. Obviously it’s great if aunts and uncles and family can be involved but if they are toxic and negatively impacting your children then you have to decide.
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Your husband needs to have your back. It’s about team work. He needs to put you first, ahead of his sister
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Yea no he needs to tell his sister to respect HIS wife and let yall talk there won’t be any secret meetings. I’ll be damned if my man’s sister did this to me id talk to her and if we couldn’t agree on anything then snip snip bitch you ain’t in mine or my kids life.
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I get it that he is the dad BUT he doesn’t need to backtrack on their decision as a couple (not a hard decision at all) and allow his sister to disrespect his wife. By doing that, now HE is disrespecting his wife as well! If ANYONE acts like her s.i.l. or my own (I’ve got one too🙄 she will not get to see what’s most precious to me ever again.)
Not being petty, after all that has been said, she’s just protecting her children and their children are obviously not needing a relationship with someone who is willing to treat their mom that way.
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there is 3 sides to every story her side the sil side and the truth.
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No … I’d be furious… keeping secrets from his wife is a huge red flag.
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Been in the same situation only I was the sister… in all honesty just call her up and see if you guys can have lunch. Talk like adults, no finger pointing or calling out certain things. She probably feels unloved and has some issues to sort out and you do too. If you think she might harm your children or anything like that then you need to talk to your husband about it. I lost 2 years with my family bc of my own issues. Now life is good, we have all grown up, dealt with our own crap and we now can have family get togethers.
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Sister in law is a freaking narcissist. I have a cousin like that. Just stand your ground and keep your boundaries intact
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Husband and wife are supposed to be a team. He shouldn’t be going behind you or against you in any situation. You two need to communicate and come to an agreement.
I would be furious if I were you.
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You are not overreacting in regarding to being upset about “secret visits.”
If she wants to make up and meet the kids she can reconcile with you both.
You and your sister-in-law need to sort your guys shizz out and stop using the kids as weapons. When I fight with my sister’s I never stop them from seeing the kids. He has every right to let his sister see them, do you stop them from seeing your family or circle of friends, just cause you’ve had a falling out with them?
Besides, your kids will tell you who they don’t like, giving them the choice to like and get to know family is a lot more important then a disagreement, don’t you think?
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Let’s face it, the post probably was about her, and you were probably being petty because of past shit. What you should have done is confronted her to her face about things that have been said, rather than post little snarky things on Facebook. No you shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells, but I’m sure you’re not innocent in all of this. Sit down with her, admit you f***ed up and ask to start fresh. 
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Anyone that threatens cps does not belong in your life. My husband and I have one main rule when it comes to our kids. It takes one to say no, two to say yes. Sit down and tell him exactly how you feel
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Sounds like your issue here is really with your husband. The two of you need to have an open honest and trusting relationship. That being said, he has every right to include his family members in your children’s lives. You don’t have to be there for the visits, you don’t have to like them, but you do have to grow up and be civil. Let your children see that rising above the fray is the way to be a real adult.
Honestly I mean this in the most respectful way …put ya big girl panties on and stop hurting your kids and the family with holding onto a stupid crap fight about a stupid misunderstanding…
at the very least be civil … if you don’t like her that’s fine … but adults are supposed to show the children how to act … how extremely sad and extremely stressful for your babies to not share things freely wth you because they are afraid of the response …
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Since you said “sister in-law” and not “my SO’s sister” … that means you’re married. And when you’re married, your spouse comes first. He should be the one and only person having your back at all times. If he is doing anything in secret, that’s violating your vows as husband and wife
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Not over reacting at all. I’d have a sit down with your husband and tell him he’s being disrespectful by this to you. As your husband he needs to have your back on all things. Even family matters (yours or his). This type of behavior will rub off on your kids as well. If they see mom and dad aren’t a team they’re gonna think they do whatever they want. If mom says no then dad will say yes. Most children do this anyway but it will be taken to an extreme. I always stand by my husband no matter what. I have his back and he has mine. I recently cut my own father from my life because he refuses to accept my husband. Your husband needs to do the same for you. Blood doesn’t necessarily make you family and he needs to learn that. If he can’t then you need to find someone that treats you as family
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Your spouse should have your back. Secret anything is a complete lack of respect and trust for YOUR relationship. It sounds like you need to have a conversation with him. Family doesnt get a free pass on disrespect either. The fact that she would opt for secret meetings instead of being an adult and discussing her feelings & opinions with you, shows she isn’t invested in making a healthy relationship with your family. I hope you get a happy ending, but maybe consider family counseling.
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Ya fuck that!
Yr either a team or yr not!
Dragging your kids into the ring of fire between you two “adults” is nothing short of child abuse. Kids are not weapons and should never suffer the emotional roller coaster of family feuds. Suck it up and make a mends it’s not ALL about YOU.
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That husband needs to get it together
It’s not ok at all and don’t let it be! Your husband should have your back just as you should have his! Do your part to show you’re willing to work on things but don’t be a push over. I’ve been in your situation had nothing to do with my children but I was treated terribly over and over again for more than 2 years while my husband stood by and watched and let it continue. I kept trying and putting myself in situations where I was treated like crap over and over again because it’s what he asked me to do and I loved him. Funny thing is I never did one thing to her or said one negative word. I was treated this way because my husband and I had separated temporarily. We are now almost 4 years out from when it started and I still have wounds that I’m trying to heal and it still hurts everyday. It’s created so many other issues and fights in our relationship and added so much more work yet he still tiptoes around her feelings because he doesn’t want to hurt her… yet he was fine with hurting me… Sounds like you’ve been the adult in the situation the whole time and she is the one being immature and not willing to even have an adult conversation. There’s nothing wrong with standing your ground and requiring people to step up and own their part if they want to be in your life. It’s her turn to put in the work now!
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If a family member or anybody in this case can’t respect me as their mother and not talk bad about me then they do not need to be around my kids … my kids are a reflection of me if I show them that it’s OK for family members to do that then when they grow up and have kids it will be the same cycle … if you both are mature enough to sit down and hash it out then do it but if not oh well move on
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Kids shouldn’t suffer because of adult crap. Unless she is a danger to your kids then let them see their aunt. This is yours and her issue not theirs.
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I’m with you but there are 2 sides of the story. Now you controlling your husband on what to do with His kids with his sister has to be something serious. You stated that she threatened to call CPS on you. That in itself is VERY serious! Now if there isn’t a problem and it’s all false claims them she’s in the wrong and shouldn’t stress the family like that but should not have any proof and therefore cleared. If she does have actual reasoning behind it then that’s her protecting her brother’s kids like any neighbor would call CPS if they saw any injustices towards children. Husband and Wife are the number 1 team for their kids. Respecting family members should be always be a goal in a couple’s life also.
Oh yeah, I’m a petty bitch
Your husband needs to respect your wishes. The fact that he isn’t, is telling her that she doesn’t have to respect you because he isn’t.
At this point, contact her and let her know if you find out shes said things about you in front of your kids that will be the last visit.
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I would just call her and ask to meet first to civilly come to an arrangement that is beneficial to your children but also protects them from and negativity or involvement in personal opinions/feelings.
If that can not be done look into third party supervision
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never put your kids in the middle of adult drama … you gotta talk.with your husband and see what is going on and it’s never to late to shoot a text to your in law … lay everything on the table , respectfully, and see where it goes
,
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Sounds like petty shit, life is too short.
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That’s his sister. Those are also his kids. He can have anyone he wishes around y’all’s kids. Not everyone is going to like everyone. I would remove myself from their secret meetings. The kids will figure out who’s cool and not.
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Um that would never happen in my home. If someone doesnt like you than they damn for sure wont get access to my kids. I’d talk to my husband. He is your husband. You come before his sister. His sister isnt his life partner. You are. He should not be allowing anyone to bad mouth his spouse and the mother of his children. That is unacceptable. To allow anyone to bad mouth your spouse is not ok. Nope not ok.
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There will be no “secret meetings”. Time to come to terms with each other. You guys are both going to be in his life. Time to let the past be the past, sometimes you have to be the bigger person and suck it up. It’s not easy, but is it worth being miserable over?
You should communicate with him and tell him your feelings. That said, you must submit to his final decision as your husband. Ephesians 5:22-32.
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You have the undeniable right to defend your kids against any enemy domestic or foreign. If your husband do not understand, get a divorce and change your address,
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This is all petty stuff. Your being petty. Might be nice to sort your differences out. It’s nothing major
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Nope. Hubby would have to get in line. If she can’t respect you or have a grown woman to woman talk than she will say nasty things in front of your kids about you. I could NEVER trust my kids around someone who threatened to get them taken.
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Clearly many of you are not even reading the whole post saying she’s petty or it’s no big deal. Will it be no big deal when someone threatens CPS on you for no reason?
Y’all are telling on yourselves. Lord save us from these incompetent, fucktards.
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Ya we’ll try having an ex daughter in-law n not be able to see or know your granddaughter
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Talk to her. Record it. Start writing down in a journal. The happenings.
Time and date.
She really sounds jealous. Isn’t she married? Have a man or a job.
Becareful NPDs will never stop.
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I’m sorry but they’re not just your kids. They’re his too. If you can’t build a bridge and let her see them, then the kids shouldn’t be the ones missing out.
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