Does anyone else have a family member that is constantly trying to bring them down over everything but then buys you expensive gifts and reminds of the gift they bought every single time you “do something they dislike or make them mad”…my sister in law constantly talks down to me and trys to degrade me as a parent because i do not have as many kids as she does…i am honestly tired of it because if i ever say anything to her she will throw in my face that she bought me some expensive gift for baby and i am being ungratefull…but i never asked for anythin from her
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My sister in law degrades me and I am tired of it - Mamas Uncut
Is there any way you can avoid her?
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Speak up and stop accepting the gifts. What you allow is what will continue.
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Shut her down. Dont take that
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Girl! Just do you! Don’t even worry about her…
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Give what ever she has given you back to her and tell her to go and get f$&ked. Cut contact. Simple.
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I’d tell her then she can just take the gift back
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My sisters in law and I don’t talk. Problem solved
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I would tell her u didn’t ask her to buy anything and that she can have it back. Then I would tell her to stay away from you and your family. What doesn’t your husband say??
Tell her to keep her “gifts” and her sh**ty remarks to herself. I’d go as far as to return the things she “gifted” back to her. Those aren’t gifts, narcissists use things like that as a tool of manipulation. Avoid that woman at all costs.
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I’d tell her what. Let her know you’re not interested in gifts with strings and if you want her opinion you’ll ask for it
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Dont accept the gifts and put her in her place when she steps out of line
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Say something and if she brings up the gifts then tell her to stop buying gifts if she’s going to throw them in your face.
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No, but I have people’s in my family who think they know everything. They only want you when they need…
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Ouch, narcissist all the way. Those are not gifts, they are tools to manipulate you with. Give them back and tell her to take a permanent hike if that’s how she is going to be.
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Sounds like she buys your attention… who cares if she buys you something stick your ground. And stop accepting her gifts.
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When she says thta.that… walk inside and pack up the godt and give eit back to her and tell her to kind shove it up her b!+(h @&$
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I would bag up all gifts shes even given and thrown in my face and give them back to her and tell her to never in her life buy you or your kids sh*t again.Then id tell her miserable a** to kiss my ass.
The next time she tries to give u a gift tell her to donate it to the homeless or a women’s shelter. And if u really can’t b rude to her pull her aside with just the two of you n tell her no more your done!!! Ijs, idkhow many kids she has but I wudda told her to close her legs, it’s not opening day at the ballpark!!! Lmao:laughing:
. Good Luck!!!
People will treat you that way you allow them to
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If I had a SIL AND she acted like that I’d put the item she bought my child on fb yard sale for sale really cheap just to p*ss her off I wouldn’t even talk to her u ain’t married to her
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I wouldn’t accept anything else from her and distance yourself as much as possible
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Don’t let anyone hold things over your head. You’ve got every right to set your boundaries and be treated with respect.
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Same she was a lawyer way better than anyone just leave it doesn’t stop no matter how good you are
Time to move on. Give her gifts back and grow a backbone.
I would pack up what ever she gave, give it right back to her and tell her to shove it up her ass along with her 2 cents!
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Is it you’re husbands sister or his sister n law as well ?
If it’s his sister he needs to be a MAN and step up and say something to her he should defend you .!!!
If his sister n law to he should tell his brother and let his brother deal with her or he could still say something to her . That’s wrong
Wrap all the gifts up or put them
I’m a bag and just give them back and tell her to leave y’all alone if you want her comments you would ask for them .
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She sounds like a narcissist as they have personal qualities include thinking very highly of oneself, needing admiration, believing others are inferior and they lack empathy for other people. Everything you described in how she is acting toward you describes it perfectly. Return the gifts and tell her to keep her opinions to herself.
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Not the exact same but similar. My mil like to throw in our faces everything she has done for us anytime we try to set ANY healthy boundaries. We got a new house and it’s on her property so NATURALLY she makes herself a set of keys without even asking or talking about it first. I freak out and tell her “you don’t just make your own keys to someone else’s house!” “Well it’s on my property. You’re just disrespectful and don’t appreciate everything I’ve done for you” like what???
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Cxss her out the very next time!!!
Sounds like my daughter in law minus the gifts!
Next time she brings up her gifting, tell her that it was very kind of her but you would appreciate it if she would not constantly remind you of her extravagance. If she doesn’t get it, minimize you contact with her.
Yep I’m a member of the toxic family club. I turned my back on them years ago after how much they put me and my children through
Your husband needs to say something to her if that’s his sister bc it’s bullshit if he doesn’t say anything.
Yep! My mother in law.
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I’d give her everything back in a cardboard box and tell her to fuk off.
They aren’t gifts if they bring them up, that’s love bombing. Gifts are supposed to come with zero strings attached, you don’t hold them over your head. The next time that she says something, I would just say, “do I need to pay you back for it, then? I thought it was a gift?” And don’t let her disrespect you, because it will only get worse. Someone having more kids than you do does not make them a better mother. Speaking up is the only way it’s stops, but do expect her to make it way worse than it is
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Put her in her place. If you don’t stand up for yourself, it’ll never end. People like her are narcissistic and manipulative to their core. It’ll only get worse.
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Yeah, umm tell her thanks, but no thanks. I wouldn’t want to be in her company. Does your husband even like his sister?
Next time She buys you expensive stuff
Ask her if she kept the receipt
So she can return it, as you don’t need or want it
Then tell her in no uncertain terms
That you won’t put up with her behavior any longer
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Go off on her and put her in her place. Tell her to keep her gifts they are not needed or wanted. If need be cit contact with her . Your brother or sister is an ass for letting it go on
She is manipulating you. Stop accepting the gifts…
Give her gifts back, tell her it’s not worth all her b. S. Or make your husband stick up for you…say whatever you want to whom ever you want…
Stop taking that from her. She obviously looks down on you and you are allowing her to treat you as a lesser person than her. You need to stand up for yourself or it’s only going to get worse and eventually your kids will see you bow down to her. Tell her as of now, no more gifts, no more bullying and to take her butt right back through the door she came in:bangbang: I would never let anyone belittle me like that. 
Give her gifts back, stop accepting anymore of them from her, and then tell her you don’t need her charity or her acceptance and if she doesn’t like it, that’s not your problem.
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can your husband stop it?
Put her in her place. Let her know you will raise your children as you see fit as you are their mother, that if she doesn’t like it then stay away from you and your kids and that you never asked for those gifts in the first place and that if that’s how she wants to be about it she can keep her gifts and don’t bother buying you anything else and she can fully expect to receive nothing from you as well.
Don’t accept her gifts let children accept from auntie. Talk to your brother tell her knock it off she brings toxicity and you refuse in later years to see your children thinking your horrible. Talk one time to her only warning stop degrading or stay far far away from momma bears children. Shame on your brother
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Next time she buys you a gift say Thankyou for the gift after her atrocious behaviour and you accept her apology lol
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Don’t accept her gifts. Tell her they come with too many strings attached. No thank you. Then she will pick something else to complain about or someone.
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I remember my Ex-MIL bought me old lady pajamas after I had my baby at 17. They were huge, I weighed 106 pounds. She said she bought them because she knew I was gonna be too fat to fit in my regular clothes. My Mom was so angry, not sure where they went, but my Mom bought me a beautiful negligee with a robe to make me feel special. You need that!!
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Put her in her place an stop accepting gifts! I had a family member constantly throw in my face what “they did” for me so I stop accepting it all together.
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So my sister-in-law I’m assuming you mean she is a sibling of your spouse? It’s hard because normally you would cut somebody like that out of your life but it sounds like your kids are cousins and your partner is her sibling and that does make things tough. But it doesn’t mean you can’t draw boundaries. If by chance she is the sibling of your spouse I would reach out to him and start there. Long story short I would make it very clear and make sure to send a text message because people like this love to embellish exaggerate or lie about what you said to them to victimize themselves for sympathy and villainize you.
Keep it simple and concise.
Dear “SIL”
IS UNFORTUNATE THAT I HAVE TO WRITE THIS BUT DUE TO YOUR PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR I NEED TO DRAW SOME CONCRETE BOUNDARIES IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. I WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE CRITICISM RIDICULE OR DEGRADING STATEMENTS. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN RECEIVING ANY GIFTS FROM YOU AND HAPPY TO RETURN ANY ONES THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN. I DO NOT WISH TO HAVE THESE THINGS WIELDED OVER MY HEAD AND USED AS A FREE PASS TO MAKE RUDE AND HARMFUL COMMENTS. I AM HAPPY WITH MY CHILD/CHILDREN, I AM HAPPY WITH THE WAY I PARENT AND I AM HAPPY WITH MY LIFE. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR OPINION OR YOUR CRITICISM IN THAT REGARD. I HOPE THAT OUR CHILDREN CAN HAVE A HAPPY HEALTHY COUSIN RELATIONSHIP BUT BETWEEN YOU AND I I WILL NOT ACCEPT RUDE COMMENTS. REGARDLESS OF YOUR INTENT OR PURPOSE FOR SAYING THEM I FIND THEM TO BE DISRESPECTFUL AND UNSOLICITED AND I AM ASKING THAT YOU NO LONGER SPEAK TO ME THIS WAY. I HOPE THAT THIS CAN OPEN YOUR EYES TO THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE HURT MY FEELINGS AND VIOLATED MY PERSONAL BOUNDARIES AND THAT YOU WILL MOVE FORWARD IN A WAY THAT CAN HEAL OUR RELATIONSHIP OR AT LEAST BE MUTUALLY RESPECTFUL. WHILE I APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT BEHIND GIFT GIVING IT IS NOT WORTH THE EMOTIONAL TOLL THAT YOU HAVE CHARGED AND I CAN PURCHASE THE THINGS I NEED MYSELF. I TRULY HOPE THAT THESE HURTFUL BEHAVIORS WERE DONE UNKNOWINGLY. BUT NOW THAT YOU ARE AWARE OF YOUR IMPACT I HOPE THAT YOU CEASE TO BEHAVE THIS WAY. FAMILIES SHOULD ENCOMPASS SUPPORT, LOVE, ACCEPTANCE AND BENEVOLENCE. THESE ARE THE ASPECTS OF FAMILY I HOPE TO INSTILL IN MY CHILD AND I WANT MY RELATIONSHIPS AND BEHAVIOR TO REFLECT THAT. THANK YOU FOR READING AND FEEL FREE TO RESPOND IN A KIND AND RESPECTFUL MANNER
Next time, stand up for yourself. The second she tries you simply tell her “You chose to do that. I don’t feel abd for a choice I didn’t make. If it bothers you so much, I’m ok with you not buying anything… I’m more ok with you not soeaking to me but we can start slow.”
Decline the gifts. They come at to high of a price. She’s a narcissist. Look it up on YouTube and avoid them like the plague.
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Jealousy and Narcissists people do behave like this. Sorry but Narcissists people will never change. It’s a mental disorder. Block her, do not associate with her. We don’t need those type of people. Nooo.
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I blocked my husband’s sister bc she is a little sh#t dude. She is so rude to my husband and I and threw a fit at our wedding bc she wasn’t going to be the only taking pictures with a nice camera and so she sat and pouted the whole time. Shortly after she started talking about my sister on her FB and I told her to stop and she threw a fit and messaged my husband calling me a c###. So I blocked her. I won’t put up with her sh#tty little attitude. I won’t put up with her disrespectful a$$ ways. Her and my husband made up a few months ago but until she can have a conversation with me I won’t unblock her or acknowledge her. Stand up for yourself.
- stop accepting her gifts
- personally, I’d give her everything she bought back and tell her to never buy anything for your family again
- tell her you’re not arguing with her, if she acts that way again you will not speak to her.
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- Gifts should never come with stipulations let alone a free pass to make you feel bad about yourself
- She sounds like a toxic individual and you’ll need to establish boundaries which can make you feel bad at first but there is nothing wrong standing up for yourself
- Next time she brings up that she bought you blah blah blah simply say that’s separate from the issue at hand
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Next time she throws it in your face, give it back to her. And tell her “expensive baby gifts are a waste of money”
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Kill her with kindness. “I’m very happy with just X amount of kids.” And then change the subject quick so she can’t try to push the point. if she gives you a gift just say “thank you, but we really don’t want any gifts, we have everything we need” and refuse to take them. Don’t give her the attention she wants, act like your life is perfectly what you want even if it’s not, even if she touches a nerve, and don’t let her give you anything so she can’t use it against you later. Don’t visit her as often and if she keeps being a jerk then consider that you may need to cut off contact with her. It’s hard to cut off family but having toxic people in your life will only bring misery.
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Tell her like it is , and tell her she can keep her gifts since she throws them in your face all the time
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Girl I had lived that for 30 years
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I’d call her out on it and decline anything for you or your family (gifts included) from here on out.
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I had toxic in-laws they soon learnt they were no longer welcome around me. They will never know my kids either and that’s just how I like it
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Give her a hiding
Naw my in laws are cool as hell. Speak up for yourself or have your Husband do it for you.
Man f*** her and her high horse. Tell her off and cut her off.
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The babies shouldn’t suffer because of adult problems.
Have a chat with her-try to sort out what the real issues are. If it’s not something that can be resolved, limit contact. But at least you can say you tried, and/or accept it as just how she is. And be like a duck and let her crap roll off your back like rain water. You’re bothered by what you allow yourself to be bothered by. Deafen your ears to her.
Return it. Buy yourself something nice.
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She’sobviously very imtimidated and jealous of you!! Just let it slide off your shoulder.
Give all the gifts back and tell her to shove them where the sun don’t shine and if she keeps up the toxic behavior you won’t talk at all anymore
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Refuse the gifts. Tell her why. Stop communicating.
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Stop accepting her gifts so she can’t lord it over you. She sounds unbearable. Just tell her to stuff it.
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I would Never accept a gift from her again and give her a piece of my mind .
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Stop accepting her gifts and refuse to have anything to do with her.
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Accept no more gifts and cut her out of your life.
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Give her back her gift and tell her to mind her business PEROIDT‼️
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If its your husbands sister-divorce her, if she’s married to your brother- divorce her, if your husband disagree’s-divorce him, stop taking her sh$t
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Yep! My Sil and I don’t even speak anymore because she would do this very thing. Then would go around telling everyone including my brother that I hate her. I had to literally cut all communication with her after the last ordeal she created and thankfully I had screenshots from the outsiders telling me the awful stuff she was saying about me. To respect my brother who I love dearly- I addressed the two together in a group text because being within reaching distance would not have turned out well. I reminded them I love them both but I was no longer going to tolerate the negative and childish behavior or allow it to get back to my own child. So far my brother and I still somewhat communicate but the visits had to stop for now because I just had to draw healthy boundaries. Remember, we can’t pick out our relatives but we can live out our lives and love them from a distance while maintaining our healthy boundaries. Good luck!
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Been there done that
Give the gifts back and tell her to go f@#k herself
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She can only do to you what you allow…Please don’t be around her, some people just love to bring people down …Good luck
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Yeah no!! Tell her to kiss your ass and take the gifts and shove em up hers. U allow what you accept. Stop accepting. And why hasn’t your husband said anything. She wouldn’t be anywhere around me.
…At that point, I’d take every “gift” given and chuck it by her. Than proceed to tell her “Well, you seem to want to throw your charity in my face, I’m simply giving back cheap unwanted items”.
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I would tell her enough is enough! And let her know that you can no longer be around her or accept anymore gifts to be thrown in your face when she is upset. And leave it at that. It’s showing her that you no longer allow her behavior towards you.
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Narcissism…she’s better than everyone else…she thinks the things she gives or does for other people should be held against them…the only way to deal with someone like this is to remove them from your life…forever.
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Tell her you’re going for quality over quantity.
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Yes my mom does exactly this
If the gifts come with the string of allowing toxic bs tell her to keep it and her opinions to herself. They’re like assholes, everyone has one but ya aint sposed to go round shoving it in everyone’s face.
It’s ok to let go of toxic people, even if they are family.
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People only do to you what you let them do
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Give her crap back and tell her to go eff herself
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start returning her gifts to her, tell her that she needs them more than you do lol
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Just tell her exactly what you wrote here and you don’t appreciate it. It’s tough but you can do it.
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Stop taking them then. Fk.
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I’m not reading comments here. I will tell you. Throw the shit she gave you out the window. I have 6 kids ranging from 23 to 4. I talk shit I drink. Guess what. My kids are taking care of. I have a fake sister In law ( they had a fake wedding and aren’t even married) acts like she was here before me and acts like she is better. She is not and YOUR REAL SIL is not either. Stand your grown. Be the momma bear you know to be. She talks down cause you have something she wants and needs. A family……. Let the house be a Chaos let your family be your family do not let anyone step on your toes be the woman that you know to be do not be scared you will find your strength stand up and say enough is enough
Stop accepting the gifts
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Tell her off and if she throws it up then say have it back and don’t buy another thing. Remind her you didn’t ask for it and though it is appreciated that does not mean she is entitled to talk down to you and you don’t owe her a dang thing.
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