For 5+ years, my sister-in-law has addressed gifts/cards to my husband and children, but does not include me. I feel like it’s very passive aggressive and unnecessary. We are a package deal in my eyes. Just trying to see what everyone else thinks. Am I overreacting? Should I just let it go? She’s made it clear she doesn’t like me and that’s fine, but I feel like if I let it go it will never end.
Your husband needs to stick up for you! Also stick up for yourself and don’t step down! I went through this with my in laws and stood my ground. Honestly, if my husband didn’t stick up for me then I’d be gone! Your a family and he needs to fight for his! That’s disrespectful to you, him and your kids!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My sister in law never includes me in anything - Mamas Uncut
Your husband is the one who should be sticking up for you. And not accept that crap. I wouldn’t let it go I had a similar situation myself
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Honestly, I highly doubt it will ever end at all.
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You should stick up for yourself. Let her know it is disrespectful and if it continues that YOUR family is no longer connected to her. Period. Your husband should absolutely stick up for you, but you yourself should first and foremost. She doesn’t care about your feelings, or your husbands, or your children…why care about hers
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Your husband allows it. He has no problem with it, and he is the one you have to sleep with at night.
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Your husband should be stepping in and saying something! Mine did and we got cut off but not our loss haha life has been a lot more peaceful without them around! Even if they do live 2 streets over lol.
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The next gift/ card I send them would leave her out of it
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If she is disrespectful towards you , your husband shouldn’t enable that behavior, it’s either she treat you all the same or she f*ck off completely.
I wouldn’t even care your married to your husband not her 
you don’t need to include her anything either unless your husband brings it up it’s his sister. You live your life happy with your family 
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Sounds like a problem of hers, not yours. Tbh. 
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My mother in law does this (well she used too) but me and my husband talked to his mother she still did it we finally started just saying return to sender until she got the hint that we were a family
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Address everything to her husband and kids nd not her. Sounds petty asf but who cares. Sounds like she thinks she’s better than you
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Have you ever asked her about it?
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Just ignore it. Its to petty for you. My mil still gives my husband and i separate xmas and easter cards 
i just laugh at it now because it looks bad on them
it’s nice to have a good relationship with in laws but at the end of the day they really don’t matter in the grand scope of things. I’ve learned that if your relationship with your husband is good thats all that really matters. Don’t let anything get in the way of that.
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I’m in same situation for 37 years. They will invite my daughter; but not me. Family discord.
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I’d think ur husband would stand up for u and find out why she leaves u out of it! Clearly repeating her selfish behavior won’t make it better, but if ur husband doesn’t say something …then u should because that’s bs!
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You say she doesn’t like you so why would you expect anything from her?
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This was me and my sil. She hated me i found out it was bc she was bff with his babymama. She was murdered in 2018 and it kills me we didn’t have any kind of relationship we were even pregnant together twice 
Send gifts to her husband and don’t include her name, ask her pointed questions about him, anyway possible to get her goat, do it, five years is way too long to deal with all that!
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If you validate her pathetic little game you give her hope that she’s winning at it, take the high road and refuse to engage in any way, the only gift she deserves from you is stained underwear from Goodwill
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I can’t stand my little brothers fiance… I’m nice in person but she knows I don’t like her. She is a lair and attention seeker… she always tries to one up every story. My brother stopped taking care of himself when he got with this girl… I still try to be nice and help them when I can but I can’t stand her… I love my brother tho and I respect that he loves her… But I don’t have to like her. Maybe just let it go some people love to be petty and she might enjoy being an ass… you can dislike someone without being an ahole.
Your husband should have already & still needs to address this . It’s his place to do so . Otherwise it’s showing her that he accepts it & is comfortable with her actions.
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What does your husband say? If it bothers you, tell him. It’s his place to stick up for you, let him deal with it.
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Talk with her about it calmly and wait for her to explain herself. Do not say much, just let her be awkward. If she runs away, keep bringing it up in a calm voice.
Have hubs write “return to sender” if it doesn’t have your name on something sent, just have him hand stuff back to her in person if it’s hand delivered noting she left your name off.
If she is persistent and treats you as “less than,” just avoid her. Keep the kids away from her unless she comes to your house. Explain that you can’t trust what she’d say about you. She’ll have to earn your trust.
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My opinion she wants to be Petty be petty back only address stuff to her kids and her husband and then when she gets all hurt over it tell her now you know how I feel.
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Return to SENDER lmao
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Meh if someone doesn’t like me then I just move on with my life. It’s their loss. Trust me don’t let people live rent free in your head.
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When I sent Christmas cards out I always addressed them to my relative (first cousin, aunt etc) and family. Nothing was meant by it. It’s just how I did it. Maybe that’s just how she addresses things? Her brother’s name & family?
You’re husband needs to speak the hell up and confront her about it.
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Send them something and put her name first. See what happens 
It’s been 5 years, why it matter now…
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His sisters always and still di that to me. Only one left to go.
If she doesn’t like you, don’t associate anything with her. No point in making anyone like you. Life is short and being related to a person doesn’t mean you have to have a relationship with them.
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She doesn’t deserve to be in any of your lives. Cut her off like she’s cut you off✂️ She can only hurt you if you give her the attention, she’s a nobody anyway
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Nah that’s rude send the crap back and tell Ur husband to step up and tell her to eff off
I wouldnt let her worry you in fact I would have a little giggle every time it happens just carry on with your own happy little family and let it go over your head no way try to reason with her , I wouldnt give her the pleasure,and let’s face it do you really want to be friendly with such a nasty person ,I should think not …
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I would make sure I go overboard with giving her thanks on the gifts she gave you BOTH. I wouldn’t even recognize her ignorance.
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Somebody needs to be the bigger person here, why not you? Your husband had a Sister a longg time before you, can’t you just let them have that? U didn’t really meantion anything that has caused any harm or damage why stress it? Obviously, something happened between you & suster in law???, maybe you could think back harder on all that? A person doesn’t generally just not include what’s become part of their family now, do they? It really does upset me that ‘in laws try so extra hard to break former families apart’, I truly don’t understand this nor, do I think this is healthy for the children involved. Your husband, you & everybody did have a loving family before marriage, lets all try harder to encourage that to continue, it gest for all concerned. Don’t sweat the small stuff’ &, most all is small stuff…
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For more than 5 years? No honey, your husband needs to man up. The first time it happened he should have addressed it. HE should never have let it go on this long. I find it absolutely pathetic when a man allows his family to disrespect his woman. I mean, grow a pair!!!
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He needs to speak up. But also, don’t address shit to her either lol
Sisters-in-law usually are a pain in the ….
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Screw it girl don’t let shit bother you !! That will bother her more! Fuck how other people feel about you !! Live your life and be happy !!
Don’t let it bother you. So what she don’t care for you. If this is the worst thing she does… If it doesn’t get a rise out of you she doesn’t win. If she does get that rise she wins. One person who doesn’t like you shouldn’t affect your family’s relationship with the rest of your in laws.
She doesn’t like you and yet still you want her to address you?
Look how that won’t bother me. If you don’t like me please don’t speak to me.
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What does your husband think and have to actually approached her to ask why
Get her husband gifts and cards, exclude her. Or put him and family…
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Haha I would call her up and tell her that your husband and kids loved their gifts
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Some people in ur partners family may never accept u as part of the package. Goodness knows my partners brother still won’t accept me and actively ignores our 5 yr old. It’s their issue not urs, don’t let their crap get u down
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People are petty vindictive and just downright mean for no reason. You can’t control her actions but you can control your response. Be the bigger person and don’t let it bother you.
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tell her to kiss your butt you are married to her brother not her.
If she wouldn’t do something for you then don’t do it for her
My question is, Why hasn’t your husband set her straight?
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She sounds pretty immature & she’s openly allowing your children to see it, they’ll grow up and see how petty their aunt has been to their mom. Kind of sounds like you need to pull her to the side and address her if it’s bothering you
Tell your husband to pull his socks up and sort his sister out then
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It’s absolutely on purpose.
So your options are
Husband says something to her if he has a spine, many don’t.
Ignore it. She will die eventually.
Be petty and do the same back. She won’t like it one little bit and May then play the victim or cause further issues so if you guys see each other a lot maybe not this option.
Kill it with kindness. Shower her with over the top gestures and enjoy how much she will be hating it. This is a good one if you have to see each other a lot-or even if not! I played this card once with some horrible passive aggressive stuff from ex in laws out of the blue, and I sent a card saying how lovely and thoughtful it was and how we can keep in touch…never heard from them again.
Or the last option is to just talk to her about it which will only work if she has some decency. If she’s the sort of person who thrives off causing distress, the fact that it worked will give her a buzz. If husband isn’t backing you, then this may not work either.
Ultimately I think you need to be true to yourself. If playing petty wars will upset you and it’s not something you can sustain. Then maybe just have the conversation.
Why hasn’t your husband said anything to her about it? My mother in law is wonderful, all of my in laws are so this would never happen but my fiancé would NEVER allow that. I’d honestly ask her & id do it when she least expects it.
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Let it go. You got more important things to do. And who gives a shit if she don’t like you. You just be nice unless you have to draw the line. She’ll make her own self tired.
Your husband should be the one to address it…and again…you do not want to seem as if you’re demanding this recognition from her? I personally would overlook and instead send her gifts/ cards etc…Some family members… you try to win over instead of confrontation. That’s just me.
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So rude…think its about time hubby had a word…
Your husband needs to have a talk to his sister
She made it clear that she doesnt like you so if “its fine” like you say it is, you would’ve already let it go.
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Ignore her…your better of without her cards and gifts.
If you’ve waved it for 5years, it’s no big deal.
For every time it occurs,leave her an appreciation text for the gifts to your family.
You can’t force her to love or shower you gifts.
If your blessed you can gift her expecting nothing in return.
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Your husband should be the one not letting it go from 5 yrs ago…. It should have never started…
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Well that’s rude and low class. I’m surprised at your husband’s tolerance of this behavior unless there is deeper issues than stated.
My husband would say, if you can’t respect my wife, you don’t respect me so goodbye. Who the
person
is would not matter either.
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Return everything she sends that is family based but doesn’t include you, equally passive aggressive but fun.
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She wants a reaction. Don’t give her one. Leave petty Betty in her own misery
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I had a sister in law like that. She was jealous of me because she preferred his ex wife over me. His ex cheated with several men and they divorced. I know how you feel and your Husband should address this matter. I wouldn’t want anything from her but the point is disrespect.
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That’s incredibly petty and rude of her. I’d return them all to sender.
Just be thankful that she is not your daughter or Sister to constantly put you down or totally cut you out of her life for reasons that you are unaware of. Hubby and your kids may be able to give you help by speaking to her re: improving the situation. If they don’t back you, maybe it’s time to RUN. It isn’t worth it to live like this the rest of your days.
What she is doing to you return the favour by her husband and children things and not include her see how she likes it when she has a go at you ask her why it’s okay for her to do it to you and not the other way around
He should’ve been addressed that. Not cool
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I say point it out every time she does it … like hey my names not on there I must have a special gift coming … 
and laugh … that way she can be called out - and see you are laughing at her immaturity.
And carry on unbothered.
They hate that.
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Return to sender!!! That’s rude!!! U are a package deal
My husband’s half sister is a witch!!! I’d send of back n call her out!
I am so sorry. I know how much it hurts because my MIL does the same thing to me. I decided to try something. Since I am the one who does the present buying at my house, I stopped buying presents for her and his dad. Guess what I got a birthday present this year. May sound petty but it worked. I hope the best for you!
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My sil did this exactly one time. My husband told her that if she couldn’t send gifts for me, along with everyone else, she had better not send gifts for anyone again. She hasn’t sent anyone in his entire family, our kids or him anything in several years. He won’t agree for me to send her family anything either. She never liked me, even though I was always good to her. Apparently, she figured her passive aggressive behavior would bother me, but it just made my husband more angry. He needs to make her understand that disrespectful behavior like this is unacceptable.
Ur right it isn’t fair but this is one of those things that if it’s not affecting ur children negatively, then I think it should be let go. If you are really feeling some type of way, then address the issue with her or at the very least speak ur feelings to ur husband
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It’s for a reaction and if he’s a good husband he would stand up for you and make it clear if she can’t include you then she can’t be around. Family or not, you are his wife, you are apart of the family, if no one is supporting you … personally I’d leave.
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So does she have a husband and kids? Do the same…address everything to him and the kids…not her. She wants to act like she is 2…treat her accordingly.
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It’s not going to end anyway, she knows it gets too you just stop caring about it let it go , when she see it doesn’t matter to you. She will have no power too upset you with go on with your life and ignore it , be the bigger person. Good luck
Say it with me “bitch, I don’t fucking care” and then every time you see her maintain that attitude, it’s important for your kids to see that everyone might not like you and that’s okay, it’s not your business whether or not someone likes you, as long as they aren’t making your life harder, who fucking cares? And apparently nobody ever taught her that nobody fucking cares who she likes or doesn’t like either, so it’ll be a valuable lesson for all involved
I went thur that with the whole family then after 3 yrs there was a huge blow up husband said he was tired of it and they didn’t have to love me they didn’t have to like me but as long as I was his wife and I was with him they had to show me respect and treat me as if I was there but we were traveling 3 hours going to his family’s to visit and after that things got better because he had told him that he would never darken their door again and now we go visit they come visit we even went on vacation in January with family and had a wonderful time your husband has to set the boundaries because you’re right you become as a team and as one I was doing everything in my power to get him to like me to accept me and they wouldn’t having it and now we’re going on 13 years of being Married your husband needs to take the first step
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Let it go. You win by not playing her game. She wants you to be aggrieved so she can complain. So really get her by sending nice thank you notes to her when your family gets a gift. Will make her nuts.
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If she doesn’t like you I wouldn’t expect anything, at least she does for the kids. Because technically, she isn’t obligated to get gifts for any of you. It is a choice. Noone is obligated to get you or the hubby or kids anything. It is a kind gesture that they do so.
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Shes not ur aunt or sister so could be why (shes ur kids aunt n hubby sister ) so it could be why …my sis not gona buy for my hubby but she will buy for me n my kids its normal
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Eh…Personally I would let this specific example be.
I understand why you’re bothered by it but it’s not really worth the drama of starting an issue over.
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She don’t have to like you to respect you. Regardless of if she cares about you or not that is disrespectful and you husband should be saying something.
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Do it right back to her
No not over reacting but why care for her either? She obviously feels so threatened to not include you either - her loss not yours
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What does your husband say about it? Just curious if it bothers him at all? Do you have siblings? Ask him how he thinks this should be handled and tell him it really bothers you and if he cares then he will address it, since it’s his sister, not yours. If he doesn’t think it’s a problem then he doesn’t respect your wishes enough and he would rather you be upset than his sister and I would have a problem with it myself. This is a tough situation maybe ask your mother-in-law if you guys are close or if you talk much. Or you could just call her out the next time you are at a family function and ask why? Put her on the spot since she wants to be petty and immature by doing this to you. I would! But be ready for confrontation and be okay with what happens bc she may just deny it. But if she does then at least she knows your not just going to sit back and allow her to keep disrespecting you. She obviously has issues and you can just let her know that you think it’s very immature of her!
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Sometimes you have to divorce the family
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I remind my clients that you can’t change someone, the only thing you can change is your reaction to them.
Usually showing them smiles, your typical sweetness, respect etc will teach them how you want to be treated. It also gives them pause as to why even with them dissing you you’re still nice to them. It will silently drive her crazy. Enjoy!
All that aside I agree with the above post to discuss it with your husband. He may know what her issue is and not want to tell you. If he doesn’t you could ask him to find out. Maybe another family member knows and he won’t have to ask her.
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Flip the script on her and trust me she’s not going to like it …it’s either going to end or you are either going to get to sit down an discuss it like grown adults … hopefully then resolve your issues have a nice day…
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You should just let it go. Your husband should make mention to her that you, him and the kids are a family, a package deal. Whether she likes you or not, he did pick you to marry & have children with.
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