This is going to be a little lengthy, but my sister is taking my nephew from everyone. She has been dating a guy for four months and for engaged after two. They’re supposedly getting married in the next day or so. He is completely controlling her and everything she does. My nephew would be at my home for at least 2 hours every single day after school. It became fewer and further in between that he’d come over. My sister and I had been in a massive disagreement for a few months about her fiance, and she’s taking it out on me by taking my nephew away from me I know that I’m just his auntie and by no means a guardian or parent, although I’ve felt like a parent to him for the last two years. Today, he saw her and started crying and telling me that he does not want to go with her. He said he wanted to come with me, but obviously, his mother had said no. He kept hugging me, saying he didn’t want to go with her. Obviously, I couldn’t keep him, but something is making him not want to go with her. I don’t know what to do, because (feelings aside), I feel like something isn’t right. This isn’t the first time that he’s told me that he doesn’t want to go with her. I doubt that there’s anything I can do, but any advice would help.
I would talk to him in private and make sure he knows he can trust you. To me it sounds like something is going on and he’s petrified. And trust me, there is a lot you can do if that’s the case. I’m sorry he’s going through this and you also.
Well i mean, you dont like the guy she is marrying, so why would she want to be around you? Personally if it were me, I’d pull away also and live my life without judgement of others, even if family.
Maybe the child misses you, but anytime I send my daughter to her dads she cries and says she wants to stay with me, then when its time to come home, she does the same to her dad. Could be seperation anxiety.
Well check, CPS. Something is going on and he trusts you to tell you and he’s needing your help.
Call child services and have them investigate
If you feel that something isn’t right then I say you have every right for that child’s safty
Girl usually when you have a hunch like that, it’s right. Trust your gut. Have you looked on your nephews body to make sure there’s no physical abuse going on? How old is he? Maybe try asking him why he doesn’t like to go home with her?
Do a child well fare check… talk with him
Call cps smoethings wrong
Sounds like something is going on /: welfare check!!
If you’re not comfortable going to their house then call CPS for a check. Usually your gut instinct is right.
I would call cps and have them do a welfare check
Maybe get the cops involved and have it investigated. There has to be a reason that the child does not want to go with her. Maybe there is something going on at home that he is afraid to tell anyone due to being threatened.
See if you can talk to him the next time if it doesn’t come over soon maybe you should just do a welfare check yeah you might not be the parent but obviously something is making u feel like there is something really wrong so if that’s the case go with your gut.
Call your local police and explain the situation and have them do a surprise child welfare check! There is something going on that isn’t okay with the situation!
I’d get a wellfair check.
call for a welfare check… my kid’s cry that they wanna stay with my parents longer but they don’t say they don’t wanna come with me they just didn’t wanna leave…
Maybe next time u got him try easing into asking him why he don’t wanna go back
Call and have a Welfare check done!!! There’s definitely a reason he doesn’t wanna go with his own Momma prayers for all involved
Try asking him if anyone is touching him in a way that they aren’t supposed to (such as touching his privates). Sometimes a child is afraid to say anything with the person around who is doing that to them. I only know these things because I was molested as a child
Maybe shes trying to be a better mom and spend more time with her child! My ex MIL tried to say she had the right to see my son. CPS and the judge told her different! Unless there are signs of abuse dont lie and call CPS.
I wouldn’t call for a welfare check because chances are she will know it was you. This will then mean she goes to extra lengths to keep you away. Best bet would be to find a way to get it out of him. Reassure him he can trust you x
Contact Child Protection Services immediately
You can file for emergency guardianship to have an investigation done
Be an adult and sit down with your sister and ask her point blank. What is going on.
If he is really as controlling as you say, there may be abuse ro the sister that the child is witnessing. It’s also possible he is the one instigating the distance in order to maintain his control. Classic move of an abuser. If you request a welfare check, you need to bring up the controlling nature if these fiance.
obviously , there’s always two sides to the story!!!
Prayers for you
Something definitely doesnt sound right. I’d try to talk to her more before calling in a welfare check or cps and potentially causing more drama between you guys or even making the situation worse. Worst case scenario, the guy could be abusive and telling her to stay away from you so you dont find out. I’d do whatever you have to in order to get on her good side to get info then try to help her get out if needed.
I’d call anonymously and ask for a welfare check bc you are concerned for the child.
Maybe…she doesn’t want her child spending time with someone that’s so judgemental of her relationship?
Call the school and voice your concerns. The school will have the nurse check your nephew for bruises and they will drop it if there isn’t any. The school will also call cos if there is! And it will all be confidential
Maybe fix the relationship with your sister first before you go introducing CPS into her life. Unless you know abuse is actually happening, I wouldn’t call. Calling CPS on her could kill the relationship and any chance of it getting better, then you’ll likely never see him again.
The husband could be abusing him/ your sister
Omg please people. Are there bruises? Dfs is not going to waste their time. Judge is not going to issue any emergency anything.schools not complaint, so grades aren’t falling. No bruises. Just auntie spoils the brat because she wants to be the cool aunt and mom says no. Funny half you people in a different post, ( I remember your names ) said parents need to be parents and bickle down so make up your dam minds already.
Think for once. First you dont know either party and second, she said they had a blowout so how did they meet up? Is auntie stalking? Auntie needs to get a job
You could go to family court ask for more visitation. If you really are getting a bad vibe then do some detective work an a little investigating…just don’t ask your nephew questions. Ask friends, neighbors if they feel anything is strange. Investigate this guy get some of his back round …good luck.
I think you should reach out to her, the both of you need to cut the shit for the sake of the child,p.s I’m sure theres more to this,bite your tongue and get on with it
Ask the kid outright what is going on. Clearly he trusts you 🤷
I’d have a back ground check done on that man. Make sure he has no priors if hurting children!! Then I’d match my ass to their house and ask why tf he doesn’t want to be there. What are they doing that is making his so upset.
Talk to your sister . Tell her you love her . ASK if everything is ok and why your nephew cant come over as much . Do NOT judge or accuse anyone of anything and let it go. I feel for her and your nephew if something is wrong ,but unless you can prove it in a courtroom there is nothing you can do . So just be there when she calls and watch .
The last person that told me that did nothing and the child died. Call CPS. Its better to be safe than forever sorry.
Maybe just mind your own business. Try managing your life and not managing others lives. Always works for me.
Sometimes my 3 year old kicks off and cry’s that’s she doesn’t want to stay with me when my mum and dad have had her for a few hours, it doesn’t mean she’s neglected or abused
Do NOT contact CPS or file for visitation to a child that isn’t yours. If you want to permanently ruin the relationship or any chance of your sister and you being friendly again, then by all means cps and court will put the nail in the coffin of your relationship forever. Do not make your sister the enemy by dragging her to court or by calling CPS. Why don’t you try directly speaking to her and telling her your concerns instead of avoiding her and doing something drastic like cps or court.
Anonymous tip to CPS… It seems extreme, but you’ve highlighted controlling nature, no longer seeing her anf your nephew begging not to go home.
Better safe than sorry
I don’t think there is much you can do? The only thing I could suggest would be to read into the psychology of what she’s going thru right now and try to appeal to that? And hopefully then you can get afternoons with ur nephew and find out more of the dynamics in the house.
Talk to her before you go calling CPS. Trust me she will not forgive you for that.
I hope all of you who are saying to involve CPS in your sisters life just because of a disagreement about who she is dating, get CPS cases opened on you by someone in your family, that you care about, that disapproves of your life choices.
Talk to your sister.
Pull him aside and ask him why check to make sure he doesn’t have bruises also do a background check on boyfriend to see if there’s maybe he could be a pedophile you don’t know what’s going on in that household drugs alcohol abuse you don’t know what’s going on in that household drugs alcohol abuse pedophile your first priority has got to be your nephew not your sister
Call CPS, have them do a welfare check,the new fiancé doesn’t sound like a nice guy
You could call for a wellness check it’s anonymous and if there isn’t anything going on then no harm.
Or talk to your nephew? Reach out to your sister and talk to her about how he’s been feeling.
How about a civil conversation with your sister before you go calling CPS or going to court. That will definitely break your family more than it already is. She will never forgive you for that especially if there is nothing wrong. Sounds like you are too attached to your nephew… Either talk to her and your nephew or mind your own business. If you REALLY have a bad vibe maybe ask around about the fiance (If they are enganged that what he is) and see what people say. Check social media you obviously have no problem checking stuff out. Good luck.
So many of you on this page are so quick to jump to CPS/DFS🤦🏼♀️unless there are actual signs of abuse, bruises, neglect, etc don’t call them. There could be something else going on that isn’t that bad. Maybe try to lend a hand instead of sticking your noses in someone else’s business🤷🏼♀️maybe try to be a friend and lend an open ear🤷🏼♀️maybe, just maybe in this case the sister doesn’t want negativity about her relationship around her family when it’s just starting out, because anonymous has said the sister knows she doesn’t like him. Maybe he’s not controlling and the sister is backing away on her own due to the negativity. Do you really think an outsider can see more in a relationship that’s in its early stages than the one who is with the guy everyday🤔I think she just doesn’t like the fact it’s moved so fast and because of her disproval, her judgment is clouded🤷🏼♀️
Are you still on his emergency list for school?
Maybe pay him a visit for lunch or tell your sister you wanna meet for lunch to talk things over.
You cannot repeatedly disrespect a parent and then get mad that they cut you out of their lives And that includes their children:woman_shrugging: I have a lot of toxic family and I kept giving chance after chance for years despite all the headaches And aggravation it caused my own family so about a year ago I stopped giving in, stopped forgiving and forgetting and most important cut contact when appropriate and our life has been TREMENDOUSLY BETTER since doing so and I now wonder how much damage I had done my family by not putting my foot down sooner:100: If you truly feel something isn’t right you can talk to your nephew but anyone telling you to call CPS over a fucking feeling is an idiot because my daughter did almost 4 months in foster care ultimately because I reported her past sexual abuse. Her rapist is related to a narcotics officer so to this day they refuse to prosecute him but from day 1 they were up my ass even though we hadn’t had contact with her rapist for years at the point she finally came forward. I made some mistakes throughout this as well but they were never on our side or trying to help us from day 1 they were more interested in my drug addiction(at the time 8 months clean) than they ever were the sexual abuse. I had numerous family members willing to take my daughter rather than foster care but the detectives and social services were communicating the whole way and the whole situation was shady af! When the judge did finally place my daughter with family he was furious at the case workers and told them right in front of us that if they ever pulled something like this again, he would see to it they no longer had jobs. My daughter was in a home with NO RUNNING WATER IN ANY BATHROOM FOR ALMOST 4 MONTHS! I told them every time I saw her there were problems with cleanliness and no one ever gave a shit. They still place children with that woman:face_with_symbols_over_mouth: The system is a broken and fucked up place so until you KNOW FOR A FACT that something is wrong you need to mind your business fr:100: And anyone that tells you otherwise is only saying so because they are lucky enough to live a sheltered life which your poor nephew may not be so lucky if you get him removed, smh. If you want to maintain a place in your nephew’s life that badly then you need to at minimum RESPECT HIS MOTHER:100: She is grown and allowed to make her own decisions, you don’t have to agree:woman_shrugging: I have had to make this same decision with my own sister And it’s learn to keep my mouth shut or don’t be involved in my niece and nephew’s lives and unfortunately I’m 1 of the only examples of a ‘normal, healthy’ lifestyle those kids even have(and that’s saying a lot cause I’m far from perfect and I have my own issues I just choose to work on myself and learn to do better each day). And in my case I KNOW things are going on that shouldn’t be and I could call but I have seen this before and the system is so damn broken that ppl who really deserve CPS being involved or even their kids taken play the system and the system allows the shit while ppl who are loving parents just doing their best but maybe in a shitty situation or what have you will get their children removed rather than be offered help or assistance. We all need to stop worrying so much about what those around us are and aren’t doing and just focus on the 1 thing we do have power over in this fucked up world… OURSELVES! And just work on being the best you that you can be:100: If you can truly prove your nephew is in a dangerous situation then you yourself should step up and take him! But all you’ve said here is that you don’t like the life your sister is living and you’re being ridiculous really. Kids don’t always know what they NEED or what’s best for them and as parents it’s out JOB to give them whatever that is no matter what:100: Maybe the new guy finally put some discipline down in your sister’s household and your nephew is saying he doesn’t want to go home because he may have to listen:thinking: That’s the point here… YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW:woman_facepalming: SO STAY TF OUT OF IT cause if my sister called CPS over a gut feeling I would never allow her in my life again:100:
If you call CPS and nothing is going on…you will be to blame to for spiral. CPS does not always have a parent’s best interest at heart. You also risk losing your nephew in the system. All these idiots telling you to call CPS are not right! You have no evidence of abuse or anything like that!
Do a background check on the guy and see if you can find any dirt.
U cant do anything. And if u call CPS and they remove him to foster care u wont see him then either. Just mind ur own business and worry about ur own kids. Because ur gonna push her further and the risk of her never letting u see him again would be higher…if my sister got involved and the tables were turned I would make it a cold day in hell before she saw my kids ever again. Dont take that risk.
Well, considering it’s your nephew, make a house visit yourself My brother doesn’t have children, but if he did and I felt something was wrong, I would make sure my presence was known to let everyone know I’m aware. Sometimes we have to show our siblings tough love, even if they hate us for it.
Do not call CPS, just talk to your sister and let her make her own life choices. Don’t go behind her back and don’t try and make her feel like the bad guy for not wanting you around after you ridiculed her life choices. The next time you see your nephew ask him why he doesn’t want to go back and if you feel like he’s in danger then call, but don’t just do it because you aren’t getting your way. That will ruin any chance you’ll ever have of fixing your relationship with your sister and solidify her choice to keep you away
Check put the white ribbon website it has alot of helplines you could call for further advice, I also found this information online, By using isolation as a method to cut a dating partner off from family and friends, the partner who is using abusive behaviors has a greater amount of control in the relationship. Isolation can also create the space in a relationship for the partner using abusive behaviors to escalate other harmful behaviors. Ultimately, the survivor may feel like they have no one to talk to about the abuse they are experiencing, leaving a dating partner without a support system during their greatest time of need.
What can you do to help if you see your friend, child or student becoming isolated by a dating partner? If someone you know is experiencing isolation in their relationship, you can help them understand that they have the right to their own life. Share with your friend, child or student that it is always okay to turn off their phone or to take a break from communicating with a dating partner. Let that person know that they have the right to do what they want with their time and that a dating partner should never pose an “it’s me or them” choice.
Most of all, don’t give up on someone who is experiencing abuse. Even if you think the person is pulling away, reach out to them. Let them know you are still in their life, willing and able to support them on their own terms.
Try talking to her,and if that doesn’t work I’d hire a lawyer,and contact cps
Go with your gut. Ask for well child check. Call CPS tell them and get their advice
Either talk to your sister or mind your own business.
If you call CPS, she’s for sure going to know it’s you. My brother does the same to me so I understand where you’re coming from. The kid probably isn’t used to another man around and maybe he doesn’t like his rules, but on the other hand maybe the guy isn’t who you guys think. Kiss your sister’s ass until you figure out what’s going on. Buy him a prepaid phone and have him put it on silent and keep it hidden.
Try talking to your sister…ask to come see your nephew… ask for him to come visit you… do what you can to figure this out before running to CPS without evidence. If you want a bigger gap in your relationship with your sister than report this without no evidence…
And when you get a chance talk to your nephew
Ask him if anything is wrong or if he needs something
Maybe it’s her boyfriend, I would say it’s him. Ask her about him& her son
If he loved goimgneith his mom before and not now then there is a reason? If he wont go then the reason is something negative whatever it is and shouldn’t be overlooked. Why the change? What’s happening to him. Go eat lunch with him and ask him directly and tell him it’s safe to tell you that you won’t betray his trust. He is a person and needs help in some way. Could be nothing or could be horrible.
Trust your gut and go with your instincts
I say keep your eyes and ears open. You don’t want to do anything that jeopardizes seeing him at all. Watch and listen. If he is controlling and she suddenly started withdrawing, that’s a sign of lisolation. If the kid is really afraid, something has happened. You didn’t say how old he was, but discreatly check him for brusing. Take photos if possible. Document anything he tells you but NEVER ask leading questions. Whatever you do, do NOT piss her off without evidence. Does her behaviour with him seem different? Watch, listen, document.
The problem with controlling relationships is that it’s hard to see it when you’re in it. What you need to do is love her and make sure she knows it. Don’t stop asking her to visit or to see her son. It will take her own doing to see the light. You simply need her to know that you love her no matter what.
If you push too hard, she’l isolate herself even more from you.
Do everything you can to make sure he’s safe.
It could just be cause he hasnt seen you. Ik when my daughter sees my friend she says she doesnt wanna go with me
But the boyfriend also seems like hes closing her off from everyone and rushing the relationship.
Sounds like you have problems with appropriate boundaries. I suggest seeking help of a professional therapist
Why not ask your sis & her fiancé to come for dinner so you can get to know him better & see how all three interact. Yes, an engagement after 2 months is concerning, but presumably your sister is an adult who can make her own decisions.
If you can talk with sis, ask her why she thinks nephew doesn’t want to go home with her all of a sudden? Is it just having to cope with change or getting used to someone else around or having to share his mom with someone else? Has fiancé moved in with your sister, or has she moved in with him?
Ask fiancé his experiences with children & what his joys and concerns are about being a father figure to your nephew. Ask what attracted him to your sister, and what prompted them to get engaged so fast? Do not be accusatory and leave questions open ended, and then LISTEN to his response and look at his body language.
Where is nephew’s bio dad in all of this?
CPS. something is not right. Dontbapproach he cause if she is beingbanusive she will confront your nephew and that will only make things worse for him. Been through this as a kid. Alert CPS and let them know of she have the tendency to be violent or abusive as well. Let them know you’re not sure what’s happening but you decided to come to them rather than be quiet when there could be a real cause . Also be prepared to be treated like crap because once u make this move she will keep the kid away from you period and then the kid will have no one to turn to so go about as stealthy as you can. Maybe visit her area and just start convos with her neighbors see what’s up if anyone have any concerns etc that could probably help you make your final decision
The fact that people are suggesting CPS and other legal ventures with no specific information being provided is baffling.
I got engaged to my husband after 7 months of dating. Should I get CPS called on me? No. Try again.
You need to provide more details. Stop trying to trump the rights of your sister who is the parent of your nephew. Having him over at your house for 2 hours every day is NOT a parent. I have my son with me all day, every day.
I would NOT let my sister be around my kid if she had issues with my partner either. Sorry not sorry.
I dont agree with calling CPS but maybe ask your nephew why he doesn’t want to go. Kids are pretty smart and if they dont feel safe with one person they find ways to tell you. Sit down and have a heart to heart with your sis and explain to her your concerns. Maybe she thinks you are trying to make her decisions. Be open and honest.
If it was me a call to authorities would be my step.id take the heat if I was wrong but better safe than sorry. My opinion
I got engaged to a guy after 6 mths and my parents called dhs cuz they didn’t like the guy and only met him 1 time!! Now I haven’t spoke to my family in almost a year!!! They got my kids taken from me for 2 weeks due to lies!!! I got my kids back n my kids knew from how my parents would whisper about how they didn’t like the guy which my kids were old enough to record and play for Dhs n then it was all dropped and honestly when my kids left they told my parents they would never speak to them again and they haven’t but the blamed me for them not having an relationship with my kids and have went so far to blame me saying I’m with a controlling guy and telling people lies about me to make them look better!!! I say ask about the stuff going on and most definitely get to know someone before u judge them!!!
My husband and I got engaged after 2 months and we’ve been married almost 15 years now with 2 kids, so a short engagement is not necessarily a cause for concern. It’s shocking to me how many people are suggesting that this lady go straight to CPS with no real evidence of abuse. You’re the same people who lose your minds if your kids’ grandparents do the same damn thing. Even if the fiance is controlling, CPS isn’t going to consider that abuse. And unless there’s actual evidence of abuse/neglect she’s just going to piss her sister off and ruin the relationship for good.
If your gut is telling you that something is wrong, somethings wrong! Especially if the child’s behavior changed so quickly. Do what you have to do to stay in contact with your nephew, it seems like he trusts you. The truth will come out
Keep your eyes open and stay observant. Don’t anger your sister,they may both need your support. Prayers for all of you.
Suck it up and play nice to everyone so you can keep your foot in the door. Obviously something is off. Maybe your sister even feels unsafe and has no idea how to leave especially with a child involved. If that’s the case, she needs all the support she can get. Leaving a domestic violence situation is waaaaaay easier said than done!
Try your best to fix things with her. Tell her your sorry and just want to be a part of their lives again. Offer to keep your nephew so she can have a date night and if she accepts try to see what you can find out from your nephew.
It’s none of your business.
First of all id document nd keep an eye for strange markend or bruses nd if nephew says he dont wont leave ask him why nd keep a recording device switch on so you have a back up of evidence of the child behaver around
And speak to someone profeshnel for advice
As much as you may want to just say something directly to your sister, I wouldn’t…It would only make things worse and then you would probably never see him. I would just try to play nice and volunteer to watch him overnight or something…so you can kind of monitor his behavior. I wouldn’t press him too much on questions, it could cause confusion and upset.
Call cps and get a welfare check done by the police. They’ll go to their house and check on them. Don’t say anything to your sister because then she’ll expect it and act like everything is okay. Look for bruises on her or him.
So call CPS if you believe that he is in a dangerous situation. Write down anything and everything you know with dates if possible. Tell them you believe that a welfare check is needed. And keep reporting them if you feel it is necessary.
You can call Cps and explain the situation and they can do a welfare check. You can even call Anonymously
If you truly fear for her or the child’s safety report it. Your sister doesn’t have to keep your nephew in your life, no matter how disheartening that feels. It is her choice. Arguing over who your sister chooses to be in a relationship with might be a reason. This is one side to a two sided story. Hope your sister and son are safe.
You can call CPS but she is gonna know where it came from because they take the stuff you say and go your sister with it. They wont say it’s you but will say the things you said and she will instantly know where it came from.
I suggest if the child is in school that you talk to the counselor about it, maybe they will speak to the nephew and see what he says. Then it will be their job to call if something is up.
I agree with the others, trust your gut. Keep an eye on things and document everything! You never know what may be useful one day to get both of them out of that messed up situation. Your family is in my prayers
Call CPS they have to investigate. The local leo should also do a welfare check. Gut feelings are usually right. Prayers for you and your family.
When a child says something listen. There is a reason he does not want to go home. Grow up people
If you got is telling you something is wrong. Listen to it. CPS may be needed. If the child is being hurt by the man, big problem. This is your business, he’s your nephew.
I would definitely call and report. Kids are very honest people and if he was allowed with you up till the new bf came in the picture that could be the reason. I have been on the sister and son sides before and it was a blessing when someone finally called Cps because I was literally scare for my life. I am not saying abuse is going on but so rather be safe. Good luck
Maybe the kid just misses you a lot too and doesn’t want to stop having fun… he might know it will be a while until he sees you again. I would try to talk to your sister. Tell her you miss them and you want to see them more again.
Because of the disagreement she might not want to tell you what’s going on because she might feel judged. Sometimes I think people in abusive relationships pull away from people who seem to know what’s happening because they’re ashamed. She also could just be upset that you dont like her significant other and maybe he is not as controlling etc as you believe and she is pulling away because she think you’re treating him unfairly.
It could be something more serious for sure. Hopefully the kid just was having fun with you.
I’d probably play it on the safe side just incase something is happening.