Idon’t know what to do right now…I am heartbroken…I am beyond hurt…I don’t even know why i am writing this…I guess I am hoping it makes me feel better but I don’t think it will…I had had a feeling for a while that my Husband and my sister had a thing for eachother…I thought it was innocent at first since they are both huge flirts…but one day I caught them standing too close for comfort in the kitchen and since then I haven’t been able to shake this feeling that it was something deeper…boy was I right…that night my sister stayed over and her phone was charing on the counter…when she fell asleep i turned on ‘find my friends’ and kept close tabs on her…my husband told me one night he was going to be working late, which wasn’t uncommon for him…but i had a feeling it was a lie this time…I texted my sister and asked her to come over for a movie night and she said she had a date with a guy she met on tinder so she couldnt…an hour passed and I checked their location…they were at the same place, a motel…not too far from our house…I froze…I couldn’t believe it…I didnt want to confront them at the motel because I really didnt want it to be true but it is…my younger sister betrayed me…my husband of 5 years betrayed me…in the worst way…its been a week and no one knows I know…idk what to do…
I am incredibly sorry that you’ve been betrayed like this. The two people who should have loved you unconditionally have hurt you in the worst way imaginable.
I don’t know if you use Reddit, but there are a few subs that are specifically geared for infidelity that might help you tremendously.
I’m not sure what the rules are for links here, but if you search Reddit for the following you can find them:
r/SurvivingInfidelity
r/SupportforBetrayed
r/Infidelity
r/Marriage
r/AsOneAfterInfidelity (This one is pro-reconciliation though, but there are couples in there that have or are going through infidelity and sometimes have good advice. You shouldn’t post there if you’re not wanting to reconcile which I definitely do not recommend in your case.)
All of those Reddit subs have people that are going or have gone through infidelity.
Things seem bleak right now and that’s because they are. People you love have damaged you in a way that’s going to leave scars. They’ll fade but never go away. That doesn’t mean you won’t ever be happy. You will and you’ll thrive. Gather all evidence. When you know they’re meeting up, find a way to get evidence of that even if you have to follow them to get it yourself. Save money in a separate account. Consult with a lawyer, most will offer free consultation, and any that you consult with, he will not be allowed to hire. Once you have everything in a row, quietly file your divorce and cut contact with both. Just because she’s your sister, doesn’t mean you have to keep her around.
If you have children together, they have parenting apps that allow you to communicate about your children only. You can also have a mediator for you. To me, I would also expose them to family and any friends you have in common so that you control the narrative and they can’t make you out to be the bad guy. Do it without showing your anger, but allow your pain to show. Not giving in to your anger no matter how much you want to will allow you the high road in the end and people will see that.
The opposite of love is indifference. You may not feel indifferent, but I would put your best acting skills to use because nothing will get them more than seeing that they don’t have the power to hurt you any longer.
9/10 times cheaters thrive on the thrill and the secrecy. Once that’s gone, they usually snap out of the affair fog. Watch for gaslighting because that will be the first thing they do when they realize you know.
I’m so sorry. I’m sending you all the strength possible to get through this and all the healing vibes to eventually find peace.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My sister was at a motel with my husband: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Get some savings behind you as a cushion for when you split from them both. It’s a horrible betrayal, but you need to secure your future before you confront them. And when you do don’t let them gaslight you.
Ooohhhh I woulda busted in that motel room sooooo fast. I’m sorry mama 
my sister slept with my ex husband too. They are both dead to me now and ex husband hasn’t seen his kids in 2 years - his choice and we are cool with it. I’m happily married to a man who won’t even acknowledge my sister whenever she happens to be around at family functions because he knows how she is and what she did. Leave him and get you a good one. There are still good ones out there.
I would definitely confront them to see if they own up to it. I couldn’t have kept quiet this long. As for your husband, make sure you get proof of this affair, it would be very beneficial to you in a divorce. They would be dead to me after that. I am hurt for you:pensive:
First let me just say— don’t be obliged to forgive your sister “because she’s your sister” because that’s probably going to be the first thing your toxic family members tell you when this all unfolds. She did this— not you. Second, do you have children? If not, I pray this marriage could be easier for you to untether yourself from. What they did was unforgivable. Keep telling yourself that. It is the ultimate betrayal. It’s not just her and it’s not just him. They both betrayed you and neither of those relationships sounds worth salvaging, IMO. If you financially depend on your husband… I would start taking out $20…$30 cash back at a time while grocery shopping and putting that money in a safe and secret bank account. You can also get a good handful of attorney consultations for free. I wouldn’t be surprised if your husband has done this before or has been close to it. You honestly don’t need to confront them in a big dramatic way because this your feelings and sanity on the line but you should definitely get your ducks in a row and get all the proof you hve together to leave him, especially if you have children. Your trust with him will never be the same and I could imagine if you consider forgiving him your family will probably crucify you for not forgiving her so one will not come easy without the other. If you have insurance or a Job I’d start by seeing if either offer you some sort of counselor/therapist you could talk to. The journey out of there will be rough but it’s doable and you deserve to walk away with your dignity intact. Hugs.
Completely cut them both off. Real family doesn’t do this. You deserve better.
If you didn’t wanna confront them, I’d at least have screenshotted their locations & sent it to them both. Get a storage unit immediately & start moving the things you need or want into it immediately
Take your dignity and sanity and walk out that door and never look back!!! You deserve so much better.
You need a plan, not a instant confrontation bc of emotions. Your family will never be the same and you’re loosing what you’ve known for the last 5 years. Build your case (get lawyer), money, strength, and confidence, once you have the proof you need not just the one time go from there. Don’t tell anyone about what’s going on, you don’t need anything getting back to them and damaging the case you need to build for court. Seek help now so you’re not struggling mentally with this years from now.
You need to get as much proof as you can.so you can use it for divorce.Get your ducks in a row first. Go see a divorce lawyer. Don’t tell anyone of your plans. Start saving some money. If your buying the house dont move out, unless you don’t want to stay there. But before you do anything go see a lawyer. And go from there. Im so sorry this is happening to you. Stay strong.
My ex husband cheated on me with my sister I had the gut feeling it was goin on and I caught them on Christmas nearly 5 years ago. We was together for 9 years married for 6 years I left and they are still together and have 2 children together. Always trust your gut instinct 
since then I have moved on and am a lot happier than I was. Best of luck love
My sister did the same thing to me and got pregnant! I don’t see either of them anymore she aborted the baby and I divorced him.they had 1 night and it destroyed everything! Get rid of both of them
My heart breaks for you! Sending hugs and prayers. The betrayal is unforgivable.
How you didn’t say a word or show up is beyond me! I would have taken pics and went straight to the court house with those!!!
Gather all important docs, SS numbers, school info Dr info, print all banking info with current balances.
Keep these docs at a neighbor’s place.
Go open account in a friends name start
putting $ in that acct.
Until you are ready for the blow back, and have proof they cannot deny, keep quiet.
This situation happened in our family.
U get all the proof u can and then go get alimony, then cut them both out of your life
That is too painful to keep to yourself. I’d approach each one of them separately, not giving them time to talk, and let them know you know what their doing telling them the story even if you have to fib a bit saying the other one already told you. I caught mine this way and once he figured I already knew, the truth and his tears was flowing, then I went to the other one, before they had a chance to talk to each other, and told her I already got the truth from him… yep I got two confessions that way. Needless to say, their both history now. 
Time to leave dear. There are still good ones out there wishing they could find a good woman. So put forth your best face and go. Just be very careful of your surroundings. Good luck.
Change the locks and only respond “you know what you did” to any and all calls or texts. Go SILENT. It’s the most brutal weapon for your peace
Using that app on their next “date”, drive there, take pictures of their cars, message them the pictures, stay in your car near their cars, start videoing them when they come outside.
You don’t have to say a word, you don’t have to cause a scene, and you can drive straight away.
These people are not your family. 
I’d cut ties with both of them!!
I am so sorry you are going through this. If you are a praying person then pray and get advice from God or a minister. People who say this is unforgivable are wrong because nothing is absolutely unforgivable. Forgiving helps to ease the burden on your heart. It does not mean to stay with him. Just don’t fill up with hate.your situation is so very sad. Again, I am so sorry, but your future happiness does depend on you forgiving them even if you put them out of your life.
This is so heart breaking prayers your way stay strong I’m so sorry 
Silently pack your things and your kids if you have any and leave. Neither one of them deserve your energy or respect. Grieve how you will for as long as you need to but don’t stay there. Move on to find more joy in your life and in your heart. You surely don’t deserve that and don’t beat your self up about it. You did nothing wrong… Hugs and healing your way.
I personally wouldn’t even bother confronting them right now. Get all of your ducks in a row so you can divorce him and make a clean break. As for your sister, I think it’s also best that you cut ties with her too. Heal and focus on yourself. Take all the time that you need.
I agree you should have confronted them right then and there because all they’re ever going to do is lie and say that to me and try to make you believe you’re crazy no matter what you do the hurt and pain will always be there even if you try to forgive it will always be there in the back of your head something pretty similar happened
Start planning your exit. Don’t say anything to them and try to get more evidence. Once you have enough finances, leave. As far as your sister, I wouldn’t speak to her again.
They would be dead to me, especially the sister… A cheating spouse is up there as one of the worst things one could have, but a sister who is the side piece… ultimate betrayal.
Get evidence in texts or something saved so you can use it in divorce if needed
I wouldn’t confront them I’ll go about as if I don’t know and watch them be uncomfortable around me that that would say it all
You need to get a plan of action together. Don’t let them know you know anything or they will chill out. Start saving some money start thinking about a storage space for your things do a clean out! Start documenting the days and times. Screen shot everything. Please don’t go off get the facts and all ducks in a row!
Time to call them out and move on to someone who will treat you like you should be treated. 
I would have busted that motel door down!!! Don’t be so soft. Leave him! They would BOTH be dead to me. Absolute betrayal. That’s a 100% NO! Leave him!
Hi. This has happened to me. And there is honestly no pain like it. It was horrible. It is so so hard but you gotta remove them both from your life. I tried to move on with my partner but it wasn’t the same. I tried to forgive my sister and it just festered and prolonged my suffering. Sending you all the strength in the world cos it’s an almost unbearable thing to go through.
Why are you allowing them to continue this betrayal? Girl you deserve so much better than this. Leave now their is NO EXCUSE and accept none!
First off you blast both of them! I’d expose them for a family event I’d say do it for thanksgiving give them the papers infront of everyone gives you time to get packing and planning Make them feel like 
!!! Make them look stupid like they made you feel! How low of human beings how they could of done this this to you! keep your evidence. Once a cheater always a cheater and with your sister that’s very disrespectful from the both of them …. Out of all men on earth and she does this with your hubby Second of all I’m so sorry and you leave that man you will find better! Get spousal and child support if you have babies don’t settle!
Pack your things one night while he’s working and then the next morning call a lawyer
I don’t really have any advice other than you can’t keep going in with this information pretending like everything is okay. It’s a mess and it’s going to continue being a mess for a while, but it must be dealt with. I’m so heartbroken for you 
Prayers for you.
You start planning your exit. Get a therapist, check out different lawyers, locate and put away all of your financial documents for safe keeping, start working on schooling or a job, daycare if you have kids, etc. and get tested ASAP and continue to get tested. If anyone tries to gaslight you about this be very clear with a warning and if they continue cut them off. Nobody needs people who excuse this behavior. ever family is what you make it and it doesn’t always include legally related or bio relatives. You can do this!!
U need to speak up this is disgusting why give him more chances to do this.
If the house is in both names pack his things go see the landlord and tell him he’s moved out and you want your name on the rent book if you are buying the house don’t move out but do go and see a solicitor for advice on the best way to deal with this if you do have children you could end up with the house and he will have to pay till children are older a sister like that you can do without he probably just wants her as a bit on the side it won’t be as exciting to him once you kick him out think of yourself he’s not worth a second thought
Cut ties with them both. My sister slept with my boyfriend (now ex) it only increased her entitlement. Sadly, I didn’t cut ties until later in life. My heart breaks for you. Please, take care of you, move forward, you deserve so much more than what they have given.
Shoulda just went to confront them. You ahould still do that. None of them deserve u n u definitely deserve better stay strong lady
It looks like you can’t trust anybody.What a mess.So sorry for you.You deserve better.Cut them off from your life.Praying for you.
Confront them in a room just all you three see who gonna lie first he is your husband of 5 yrs well now it’s time to let go of him he didn’t care when he decided to do with your sister so don’t care about him or her at all forgive them but don’t fall for it again,you can only take so much.
I’d drain That account kick him out the house, change locks and publicly air their business out so their friends and family see their true colors! She’s my sister I’d put hands on her too!
Get your affairs in order. Take money out of anything you guys share and then when he’s gone pack his things and change the locks. Tell him he’s no longer allowed to live there and give him the divorce papers. Or even next time do all these things and take his stuff to the hotel they are at and find out room number and bring his things to him. Tell them both off and leave. Don’t look back and ignore them. You deserve better then both
You went from Hallmark channel to Stephen King in one fell swoop, partners come and go in life but siblings are forever and the depth of her betrayal is bottomless, she went so far past a “bro-code” violation its breathtaking, I’m so sorry for you
Oh this is heartbreaking I’m so sorry 
Pack him up and send him on his way. This relationship isn’t one you’ll ever forget…it’s like losing deeply loved family members in a horrific way. Don’t feel bad about how you handle it, you weren’t the abuser. Been there and know what it feels like. Forgive yourself and move on or you’ll be miserable for the rest of your life.
You are soo strong to not confront them but, definitely get out of this marriage asap . You never know what they are planning so always be a step infront of them. Get as much proof you can, make a savings and protect yourself from financial ruion before they damage your future. I can’t imagine the pain and betrayal you must feel I’m so sorry!
Divorce. Pack ya shit and leave. If you got kids take them too and you don’t even have to say a word just hit him with the court papers and ghost your sister too. Shameful. Just shameful.
You don’t leave! You change the locks and HE leaves!!! You didn’t fo anything wrong!! He and your sister did!!! You stay where you are!!! You’ve been through enough!!! Best wishes to you for a happier future without them!!! But get proof first!!!
You got strength cause I woulda done drove there immediately. You have to leave. And cut the sister off too. That’s so upsetting and I’m sorry you’re going through this
This SAME exact situation happened to me… I walked in on them having sex in my
House when I get off work. it was the worst thing I ever went through. I’m so sorry
That is such a betrayal from both of them💔
Damn…Quit thinking about them for a second. What do YOU want? Do you see yourself being able to move forward with either of them in any capacity? Or do you want to cut ties with both of them indefinitely and just be done? Ultimately, you have choices here and decisions to make. You can take some time to think and plan your next moves. In fact, I’d encourage you to do that. What these two want is irrelevant. Then deal with each of them individually. If it were me, I’d start with the sister at your house, before he gets home so she doesn’t have time to tip him off that you know before he walks in the door. And specifically, ask her why she threw your lifetime bond away and did this. Family doesn’t do this to each other. She’s gonna have to live with the consequences. They both are. And then I would tell her, I hope it was worth it. Then, you deal with your husband. Demand the truth. And get the closure you need. Then pack his shit up and tell him to get out. Then, you tell the entire family what they’ve done and exactly what you’re doing about it, whatever your choice ends up being. Take this time to sort out your feelings. There are stages to this and it will be hard, but in the end, you’ll be stronger once you get to the other side. Take the time to deal with these emotions now. Hang in there, it’s gonna be tough. Figure out what YOU want. Then go from there. And remember, it’s OK to not be ok. It’s OK to not know what you want. But you absolutely should think about what kind of future you want and deserve. These two. They don’t deserve you. That’s for damn sure. And one last thing: This isn’t your fault.
You have to actually have proof and find them together or else they will deny your accusations and turn it around that you are crazy…next time catch them in the act and record it.
You need to get proof hopefully you have the messages and screenshot the location and get more if you can, file for divorce once you do or confront your sister get it on recording so you can show courts make him have to pay and her too for what they’ve done. I would never allow neither him or my children around them after that nor would I ever talk with my sister again and I’d put her on blast.
Like others said, get yourself in order if you want to leave. I would tell them in the craziest way if it were me, maybe have her over for dinner and idk bring up conversation about cheating, make something up about someone you “know” and go from there.
Oh, Hell no! How can you be so calm and keep that to yourself for a WEEK! I would have been at that motel in a heartbeat doing some serious damage! Good for you though, but you need to tell them both to fuck off and bounce! 
Oh man what an ultimate betrayal! I would drop both of them like a hot potato. Neither one deserve YOU.
I couldn’t have held that… Sorry you’re going through this but it’s best to get through it rather than hold it in agony
Let it happen again while you prepare to leave him. Show up next time, record when you get there…divorce and take everything. Never talk to either of them again.
Pack his things and leave them at the front door! Or better yet throw them out in the lawn! Change the locks and leave a note on the door to go live with your sister! I wouldn’t leave my house!
My pettiness & is go would pay a really big part in what I will do next.
I’ll just give an insight of what I would do. For one I would sue for cheating, in my state you can do that. Pay a fine or get up to 30 days in jail, either would work for me . It ain’t my problem anymore. They would be humiliated & called out in front of both families . Best believe I would involve my children in this because they don’t need to see all that. Last thing I would do is cut both them off … since I do have kids .
First, get some money up. (if you share an account make a separate one and put money into it. One only you know about), secondly, document their affair as much as possible. File for custody of kids (if kids are involved) and file divorce for irreconcilable differences and show proof of infertility (the affair). Then cut them BOTH off.
Wow! That’s crazy! Get your ducks in a row. Prepare to leave him. Talk to a lawyer. Look for another residence. Schedule a uhaul or movers while he’s at work so you don’t even have to fight for items that you want to take. Do all of this QUICKLY
i’m so sorry your going thru this but in order to get answer you need to show up when there together no matter where it is. It’s not healthy for you to live like that. You will find the right one who will love you and treat you like a queen.
I agree get them both out of your life😡
Now I’m completely different… I hope I don’t get banned but I would beat their booties! I’d say other words but I’ll keep a little PG
You’re better than me. I’d have been at that motel in five seconds flat. Get your ducks in a row, document everything. Then divorce him 
Get out of your marriage. I walked in on my ex fiance with another girl. Noway he could deny it
They play acting you can steal the stern baby girl!
That’s so horrible, I’m so sorry. If that was me I would’ve busted into that room so fast.
That is disgusting. I am so sorry
Next time you are all together I would just come right out and ask both of them how was your motel night together
Sister is the last person who would do that to you. I would never have anything to do with rather of them again,I would do that to my sister, That is the worst betràyel you could do.
Call a huge family dinner and out them right in front of everyone
Get your life in order. Get a storage start slowly taking things from house. Get your money together. And hurry then leave did you screen shot? Might need documentation whn you go for divorce
This is what you do. Keep quiet. Act normal. Dont act out of anger. That stupid and if you fight, you can all go to jail or someone can get hurt. Looks bad on you. Record everything you find out. Keep notes of everything. Find out the laws in your state how long you need to be married for him to start paying alimony to you. Some states its 7 years. Wait that time, then file for divorce. If you have children together, file for child support. Open a separate account and start saving money. If you dont work, go get one and save. Do side gigs and save everything and tell no one. No matter how hard you want to get into a fight with him because your hurt, dont. It won’t do any good because your not that special girl to him but I gaurentee out there somewhere the right one will come and your going to be someone real special to another. Dont punish another man in the future for this idiots cheating. Live your life the way you want without regrets. That’s what you do
How you screen shot their locations , let them meet up again go get pictures of they cars there together with liscence tags in photo . Take a friend to take a picture when you knock on the door and they open it . But make sure you have money saved up fist go ahead and get papers drawn up from lawyer and date them for the day you tell him to get out . And ask in the paper work that he pay your lawyer fees and alimony as well. Get the photos when you ready to put everything in motion ! Till then you are a loving wife and sister
Make sure you have proof, save save save save… file for divorce & run
Start saving as much as you can and get out.
I am incredibly sorry that you’ve been betrayed like this. The two people who should have loved you unconditionally have hurt you in the worst way imaginable.
I don’t know if you use Reddit, but there are a few subs that are specifically geared for infidelity that might help you tremendously.
I’m not sure what the rules are for links here, but if you search Reddit for the following you can find them:
r/SurvivingInfidelity
r/SupportforBetrayed
r/Infidelity
r/Marriage
r/AsOneAfterInfidelity (This one is pro-reconciliation though, but there are couples in there that have or are going through infidelity and sometimes have good advice. You shouldn’t post there if you’re not wanting to reconcile which I definitely do not recommend in your case.)
All of those Reddit subs have people that are going or have gone through infidelity.
Things seem bleak right now and that’s because they are. People you love have damaged you in a way that’s going to leave scars. They’ll fade but never go away. That doesn’t mean you won’t ever be happy. You will and you’ll thrive. Gather all evidence. When you know they’re meeting up, find a way to get evidence of that even if you have to follow them to get it yourself. Save money in a separate account. Consult with a lawyer, most will offer free consultation, and any that you consult with, he will not be allowed to hire. Once you have everything in a row, quietly file your divorce and cut contact with both. Just because she’s your sister, doesn’t mean you have to keep her around.
If you have children together, they have parenting apps that allow you to communicate about your children only. You can also have a mediator for you. To me, I would also expose them to family and any friends you have in common so that you control the narrative and they can’t make you out to be the bad guy. Do it without showing your anger, but allow your pain to show. Not giving in to your anger no matter how much you want to will allow you the high road in the end and people will see that.
The opposite of love is indifference. You may not feel indifferent, but I would put your best acting skills to use because nothing will get them more than seeing that they don’t have the power to hurt you any longer.
9/10 times cheaters thrive on the thrill and the secrecy. Once that’s gone, they usually snap out of the affair fog. Watch for gaslighting because that will be the first thing they do when they realize you know.
I’m so sorry. I’m sending you all the strength possible to get through this and all the healing vibes to eventually find peace.
This is the worst situation literally ever imo. I would not confront them. I wouldn’t give them any attention. I would 100% leave (if you can). There’s no way I would get into any big dramatic fighting or arguing. At the most I would maybe give them each a note or send a message telling them they’re the biggest POS on the planet and start rebuilding my own life. Maybe if you have kids w him I would eventually contact him in a few weeks or a month just for the kids. Other than that they can F off.
I’m so sorry mommas 
I would have been at that motel so fast.
I’d be planning my revenge quietly and emptying bank accounts and plotting how fuck everyone’s lives up. Seriously. And I’d be responding to my dms and living my best life in the process 
How horrible, I am so sorry. Parents still around??
Aww hugs and prayers. I’m so sorry you’re going through this 
My mum slept with my x baby daddy… Her toxic heart ant welcome in my life… People who do this sort of things are toxic you deserve way better. Start put money away that ya husband don’t know about. Get prouf that they are together, file divorce take him to the cleaners… Good luck hun x
Kick his butt out and say goodbye to her.
I would have been outside the door waiting that’s crazy Jordan Marie Otero
Get all your stuff together, money right, important things out the house. Get all the proof you can on them. When you have all that done, file for divorce. Have him served without saying anything. Then, record all conversations going forward (figure out the law in your state). Don’t let him know anything and hopefully he’ll say enough you won’t need much more in court. As far as your sister, once you file for divorce, give the proof to your parents if they’re still alive and then cut off all contact with the sister. You don’t need to confront her at all, don’t give her the satisfaction.
I personally would wait it out until u get some cushioning in a hidden bank account. That way u aren’t broke when u blow them both out of the water.
Beyond the betrayal are you hesitant approaching it by what will come next? You need to prepare yourself financially, physicaly, emotionally, they have no moral compass, I know its painful right now but filter that energy to stay focused on you’re exit
Stay focused and get out there
When the dust settles remember you’re not jesus you dont have to forgive dang thing
Frig that … send all his shit to his sisters house. Change the locks. Take money out of accounts to be able to survive. Get a lawyer. File for divorce. Then fuck them both. They deserve each other. You deserve better !