My SO always brings up the fact that I do not work: Thoughts?

What it took for my husband to stop doing that was to have to watch the kids most of the day on a day when I was out going to drs appt plus running errands after. He learned quick that dealing with two kids was super hard…much less trying to keep things clean on top of it. He stopped saying I had it easy then…

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Simple. Stop doing it.

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Start charging him everything! You make him dinner $10, do his laundry $5, etc. Earn your own money and start paying. :rofl:

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It will be hard for him to understand unless you switch positions and he is the stay at home parent

Every year, you are doing $178,000 worth of work for free

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Get a job and make him pay for the child care

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Get a job , find child care and stop doing it all at home . My job personally was like a getaway being at home
24/7 is hard n stressful . And you’ll never hear that again .

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I’d make out a list of all things I do and how much a person doing those things would make if that person wasn’t me and he had to pay them to do it and give him a bill for services rendered :woman_shrugging:

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I’d literally stop doing anything and everything, including picking up after the kids, cooking etc. ALL OF IT for 7 days solid. He may get the hint by day 3. Of course take care and feed the children. Everything else? Forget it. My husband never threw me not working in my face but I feel like he never truly appreciated what I did… until Covid-19 hit and he had stay at home orders and seen and delt with what I did being a stay at home mom. His exact words were “I don’t know how you f*&!ing do it. I could never do what you do and appreciate you on a whole new level.” Sometimes men need these reminders.

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Stop doing things he says you do nothing so literally do nothing

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You need to plan a overnight away from hubby and kids for a night or two…let him miss you, they appreciate ya more.

This is EXACTLY why I NEVER wanted to stay at home and rely on someone financially. He will NEVER understand how hard you work. If your kids are old enough where you think they would be okay in daycare or if you have someone that you trust to care for them, I would say get a job. Then he will see EXACTLY how much you did at home. But hell by then you might enjoy making your own money and getting out of the house.
He will also see how much he was saving in childcare. Sometimes you can show people better than you can tell them. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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I stayed home for fifteen year with my two sons.Went my younger one was in fifth grade I went back to work. I worked for twenty two years and I retired eight years ago to watch my first and only grandson. I am seventy seven years old.

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Child sitting/entertainment/ homeschooling fees, housekeeping fees, Chef/cook/snack fees, Dry cleaning/laundry fees

He already “pays for everything” might as well pay for that too :joy:

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Stop cooking cleaning and when he comes home hand him the kids

Well u show him this

Leave that dinner table empty a night or 2 and his underwear dirty and I bet he straighten up real fast. I was a stay at home mom with 2 small children for 4 years and my husband would not dare. Not if I’m raising our kids and doing EVERYTHING but work a job outside the home. He can kick rocks with an open toe shoe

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make a list of all the money thst would be spent to cover what you do, house cleaner, cook, kids in daycare, washing, etc and show him how much he would be paying to get someone to do all you do.

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Don’t let him abuse you this way… This is Financial Abuse. My husband still bit*hes like this at me and I tell him that if he had to pay someone to do what I do, he’d be broke…sometimes I laugh and tell him to pack his bags then if he thinks he is so hard done by. This is life. A lot of men work and their wives stay at home and do the housework etc and when hubby comes home he steps in and shares the work load.

Do what the others suggest, tell him your going away for a weekend with your Mum/Sisters/Friends and leave the kids and house in his care with a list of normal chores to be done. When you come back Sunday afternoon, see how he went… and have a laugh about how tough it is…

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The best way to make him realize what you do is to stop doing it. Get a job, tell him you now work and will be splitting child care costs and all the chores.

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I stopped washing my husbands clothes. Guess who had to wash them. He did. I used to have to tend to him hand and feet until I got fed up because he would always find something to complain about. So I gave him a reason to complain. Now he helps me. Happy life, happy wife, happy husband.

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Stop doing anything.

Been there, done that. Stop doing it! Do the basics you have to for the kids and let him see for himself how it would be if you just stopped.

Honestly, I would probably get a job. No need to suffer through all that. He obviously wants you to get a job. Then you guys can split household chores. And if that doesn’t make him happy, you’ll have options because you have a job. You win, or you win. :woman_shrugging:

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Don’t do what you’ve been doing. Let the kids do and eat whatever. Then when he comes home asks what the hell, tell him you’ve been doing (list the shit and all you do for the kids and for how many years without a day off) and that today you’ve “called in sick”

He says you don’t work? Ha. Then don’t work.

Parenting and maintaining household IS A MOTHER FUCKIN JOB.

I mean, don’t let the kids be filthy… bt don’t do all the normal.

Sit on your ass
Let those bundle of joys un bundle and let your husband see the things you do at home
It’s not easy and takes alot to keep everything perfect

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Start charging for cooking and cleaning. Go get some quotes so he knows your not over charging him

That’s abuse. Set healthy boundaries. He is being verbally abusive as well as financially it sounds like. If he continues to disrespect you know that it is intentional.

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He’s a dick throw it back in his face that his useless around the house and that’s why you can’t work

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Tell him to cook his own meals

Figure out how much child care is, how much cleaning and cooking services are and how much you would make if you were working. Then present the information to your SO and see if he thinks you should put your kids in a childcare center. My guess is whatever you make working would go towards childcare and upkeep with the house. Is it worth it? Who do you want raising your kids?

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This hit hard asf. My last relationship really done this to me! When my little baby wasnt even one and I was a stayed home mom. Treated me like I was nothing! While I was just staying home making hot meals for him and watching my baby! This is why I’m so sick and tried of this trauma. Little things do matter! If you cant learn how to respect the little things we done at home. What’s the point of having a family at the start?! Us ladies tries our best to stay glued to the family but really at the end. Guys are the ones that breaks it! Then blame us for trying to do what’s right! We keep trying and trying until theres no more fight in us. Even if we wanted it to work then we finally realized that we ain’t the one for them!

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Make a list of what you do. Chef, childcare, maid etc and attach what it would cost to have each one on a daily basis. Just a thought.

Get a job and pay day care and let him cook his own food :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

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Just do your own meals, washing, ironing etc don’t clean up.after him don’t shop for him …he’ll soon realise how much time it takes xx

Don’t clean or cook or anything, then let him come home and see what it actually is you do all day! I know he is your SO but men like that really piss me off! Don’t do anything and let him see.

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I’m so sorry you’re being judged like that. Being a stay at home mom is no joke! It’s hard. I don’t know how small your babies are and to have the opportunity to stay home with them really is a privilege so take advantage Of this precious time because they will grow fast. Maybe once they are school age you can work outside of the home. But remember this…if he doesn’t appreciate you right now. Taking care of his babies, taking pride in your home by cooking and cleaning ( because most women today don’t do that)! Then when you get a job, he probably won’t respect your job either. Hang in there but when the time comes that you are able to bring in your own income. You may want to rethink this relationship. Good luck and God Bless you❤️

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Sit on your arse and do nothing he will soon see exactly what you do.i didnt work for a while when my kids were little but my other half did but he wouldnt even dare say anything like that to me as he knew I was looking after his kids house and animals lol he now knows actually how much hard work it is tho as through the pandemic it was him off work and me working constantly lol

I always tell mine well enjoy it cause you can pay child support or day care :v:t2:while I do nothing :v:t2: that normally the dead end :skull::unamused:

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Jack ass! Throw his bed outside

Let him walk in your shoes for a week and see how much he does

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There have been stay hat home moms that have won in their divorce decrees bills for the cleaning and cooking services. And the amount you save on day care is outrageous. If give him a bill for your services and see if you can find some of those cases that won their court cases. This is literally a form of mental abuse.

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Stop doing anything you would usually do for him. Just concentrate on your children.

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Get a seasonal job and make his ass do half of everything, including watching the kids. I’d even get a Nightshift gig so he has no choice but to watch the kids.

Childcare, job, do nothing with the house and only do kid stuff 3.5 days a week and tell him the days he is doing the other 3.5 with them

Tell him you are going to get a job and he can look after the children - he can’t have it all ways - how old are your children ? - tell him he can look after them and do what you do for a change. …

Leave him with the kids and chores for the day…he’ll learn fast…

Put them in daycare and get a job? You’ll get a break and he can’t bitch saying you don’t work.

Tell him pay childcare for 2 kids then you will work. He will shut the f u

Don’t lift a finger…
My ex used this all the time so one day he had all his washing in the laundry waiting for me, he came home to it on the front lawn soaking wet (I may have hosed it haha)
No dinner was made nor the house work done.
Needless to say it never got mentioned again about me not doing anything

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Just stopp doing it, he will soon realise. Or get a job, put your child in daycare and do as much house work as he does with a full time job.

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Write a list of everything you do and how much it would cost him so all the cleaning all the cooking looking after kids ect and I bet his wage wouldn’t cover it then tell him to shut his mouth!

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“If someone doesn’t appreciate what you bring to the table, let them eat alo—“ NO. Let him starve.

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Do nothing for him let him do his own clothes meals etc then go get yourself a nighttime job for your own few pound leave him with the children .See how quick his pig attitude changes

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Your doing the most important tiring and rewarding job in the world :earth_americas: enjoy your babies and let him start making his own tea and do his own washing after all he has working hour’s 9-5 and your 24/7 hunni xx

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Posts like this really winds me up of course your working your raising children, your looking after the home, your cooking and cleaning for your family so how can he say you don’t work,
Yeah you do but u don’t get paid for it you don’t get holidays and you don’t get time off.
I would have to sit on sofa all day doing nothing, let the kids be Ferrell, don’t do one dish, not one bit of laundry and no putting hot meal on table, and when he asks what u done all day say nothing cause I don’t work

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He doesn’t know how expensive is daycare? Also, the kids get to be with their mommy, i often think i should quit my job.

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You do work… ALL DAY EVERYDAY. With no sick leave, no vacation days and no PTO all without monetary pay. Stop cooking for him and cleaning up after him just to show him some of what you actually do. He should bd helping you with the kids and some light housework. After all, you’re supposed to be his life partner, not his maid/ servant.

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Honestly, does he think it all happens magically? You do your part at home, he does his part at his job…your family gets the benefit of the team work. He needs to wake up.

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Stop doing it for him… Just take care of your children. He’ll see how much you actually do WORK!

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Next time y’all argue do exactly what he says you do “nothing” so he can find out what you actually do all day.

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GO ON STRIKE!! Then he might appreciate you…

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Stay somewhere else for a few days without telling him and let him find out how much work it is

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Wow!! that’s completely degrading you entirely, borderline abusive. I’m sorry you’re going through that. Take yourself away for the weekend and make him be in charge and show him what a stay at home mum does every day and then maybe he’ll appreciate you more x

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Have him do what you do on his days off. It’s not as easy as you think. He gets paid, do you?

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Stop cleaning and don’t make him dinner. When he gets home, leave him with 2 kids to bath and put to bed.

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Get a job. Put the kids in daycare. Stop doing everything around the house. Stop making him hot meals.

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:joy: GO TO WORK! You deserve an easier job with less hours. Make sure you highlight the cost of your replacement ( daycare, housekeeper, &/or nanny.)

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He’s probably just feeling financially stressed. I was a stay at home mom for 17 years and just recently started working.
If he’s feeling financially tight, or overwhelmed it may just come out that way. It’s frustrating.
Make some crafts to sell or something from home to help him so he can have some “personal money” that doesn’t all have to go to bills food and kids. Sometimes it’s just being able to have that extra 100$ to save or spend how you please.

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Stop what you are doing and let him see your worth

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Stop doing it and get yourself a job on the opposite shift he works so he can care for the kids. Give him a little taste of reality.

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Leave and let him realize what all you actually do each day and also look up the prices for daycare in your area and show him how much $ you’re saving with you being at home.

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Tell him you’re needing a couple mental health days (on his days off). Leave him to take care of everything while you go wherever you feel comfortable (family, hotel, bnb, whatevs). They learn quick.

Tell him he’s right and then stop cleaning or doing anything, tell him you’ll get your resume ready and start applying the very next day and then go ahead and print out daycare costs near you and discuss which one he would like the kids to go to.

Once he’s paying for daycare/after school, is waiting on meals or eating kraft mac n cheese and the house is a mess and he also has no clean clothes he might realize you do alot. 🤷

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Work in the evening. Show him. Get a part time job. Seriously. Only way

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Make him miss it and do nothing but the bare minimum.

Being a stay at home is a job. Ask him can he afford a sitter or daycare. Stop doing stuff for him and tell him you spent all day looking for a job and taking care of kids and he needs to get use to things not getting done around the house if you go back to work.

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I really hate when men do this. Being a SAHM is a 24/7/365 job.

It’s NOT EASY. He’s a dick. He needs a reality check.

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Stop doing this for him like washing his clothes, making his meals, leave his things how he leaves them.

Stop doing it and leave it to him.

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Stop doing it. Maybe then he will notice what you do.

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Don’t do what he says you don’t do, so he sees you do what he says you don’t do.

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Does he work on weekends? Leave him there with the kids for one weekend, see how fast he will call you back

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You can’t because he literally has nothing to complain about as for as you go but that is his only way of trying to make you feel less then. Face it hes an ass

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Stop doing it go on strike

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Stop doing it…(I mean still care for your children) but stop waiting on him hand and foot…he wants supper he can cook it he wants clean clothes he can wash it…wants a clean house guess what he can do it… he obviously doesn’t see you as a team…then let him do it all…when he comes home from work…leave the kids home and take some time for yourself…Im sure he will have a dufferent tune.

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You cant make him see it. He is holding resitments for being the financial provider and that’s why it comes out when you argue. I go through this with my spouse. Offer to get a part time job and split the household duties or he can get over himself and realize you are both making sacrafices.

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Go to work. And tell him from now on half the house hold work and the child rearing is his responsibility. Ask how he would like to Divide the household work. And the children’s schedules. Oh and don’t forget to remind him half the cooking is now his responsibility too

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Stop doing it. Hell realize what you do for him when it’s not done anymore

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Stop doing it for a week, he will apologize. Do the bare minimum

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Maybe he doesn’t feel like being a SAHM is ok. Did you guys discuss that before you had kids? Maybe that isn’t his views on what he wants in a relationship. Maybe he wants cold food and a dirty house :woman_shrugging:

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I’m hiring you can work from home

Take a vacation for a week. Let him do your job

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You cannot make another person see what you do. If they see it, they see it. If they don’t, they won’t.
Now that you know that he doesn’t see all that you do (and obviously doesn’t appreciate it), you have two choices… stay or leave.

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Get a job and make him do the cooking cleaning and pay for daycare.

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Go out of town for a weekend. Leave him with the kids and all of the household responsibilities and see how he feels after that.

Split the house chores. Your job is to raise your babies.

Let him do it, go out for the day, leave him a list to do…

Go on strike. :woman_shrugging:
Make him get a sister for a week, don’t lift a finger and sister must watch kids ONLY during his work hours.

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