Not a gun debate please but if you and your SO had other views on having guns in the house and you expressed you were uncomfortable with it multiple times and they end up bringing one into your house what do you do?I feel extremely hurt that my feelings were not considered at all and I honestly don’t know how to get over it. Because it’s more than a gun/ protection thing it’s a respect and trust/ partnership thing.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My SO brought a gun into the house when I am uncomfortable with it: Advice?
With the times we are in, I personally wouldn’t mind, as long as your SO is a licensed gun owner, the gun is registered and it is locked in a safe while in the home.
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Why do your feelings automatically trump his? His feelings are just as valid. You feel a certain way so he’s just supposed forget how he feels? Seems selfish on your part, imo
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Do you not see what’s going on in this world!? Get a lock box and keep it in a safe place!
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You haven’t said if are young kids in home. Most but not all guns have a safety. With kids in home, they need locked up in a gun safe.
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Better to be safe than sorry. Do yourself a favor, go to the shooting range with the gun. Practice. Get comfortable holding the weapon. You may never know if you have to use it. UnderstAnd there can be gun safety and still not like guns. Being trained with one gives you more confidence to owning one for safety reasons than it just being in the home. Never keep it loaded. And make sure you have a gun lock safe even a small one could save a life.
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What about his feelings? Why isn’t he allowed to have a gun in his home, too? As long as it’s locked up and has the safety on, it shouldn’t be an issue.
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Maybe this mama has PTSD, Maybe she is afraid for her children? Maybe he is abusive behind closed doors. We don’t know WHYYY she is afraid or uncomfortable but we should offer advice and comfort. Mama- I feel you. Talk with your SO about this and maybe see if there’s a spot they can keep it that is locked and u both have access to?
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Come to a compromise about it. Express your feelings and allow him to express his. Come to an agreement how the gun needs to be secured. Maybe with everything that is going on now days he feels like it’s his duty to protect his loved ones.
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I guess none of you are from the UK 
Was just reading the comments thinking hang on…
We would be in jail now if we had a gun & the police knew
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It’s a partnership so your SOs feelings matter just as much as yours and in the end of it’s something they really believe in and really want, you really have no right to deny them that over “discomfort” since it has nothing to do with you. If all you are is uncomfortable, talk to your SO and maybe you can take some classes of firearm safety alone or together and you can discuss the best way to keep it safe in your house together.
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You need a gun in your home. Period.
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What about his feelings? Why do yours trump his? Also do you see the world we are living in?!!! He’s 
in the right here better safe than sorry
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You both have a right to your feelings. Yours don’t trump his and vice versa. Now that there is a firearm in the home, it’s time to compromise. You and him figure out the best way to store it to where you feel safe. A lockbox that is easily accessible for him but not visible for you is probably the best bet.
I highly recommend you learning how to properly use it as well. And yes, I understand not everyone wants to be around guns, but learning how to use a tool, is never a bad idea. And this is coming from someone who has had 2 instances of gun violence in her family resulting in 2 deaths. So don’t come at me saying I would feel different if I had been directly affected by a firearm, because I have been and yet I still own one and train with it often.
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Put it in a safe and get over it.
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I’m not a fan of guns especially in my home as we have small children but with the world the way it is right now I’ve let him buy a few more…put it in a safe place and move on his feelings matter to
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Why does everyone assume that their feelings aren’t being considered when they don’t get their way? What this is, is “you didn’t do as I say and want, so you didn’t consider me at all” but you’re not considering their feelings by being this way. 
Get over it and yourself, or leave.
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How do you know he didn’t consider your feelings through? Considering them does not automatically mean your SO is going to do what you want.
I think this shows your lack of trust and your lack of respect for your SO.
Have you considered your SOs feelings on having a gun?
Your SO wants one, you don’t. Why do you get what you want and SO doesn’t?
Maybe put your trust back in your SO and see how it works out.
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What are your reasons that you dont want a gun in your house?
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So unbelievably petty.
If you don’t want to be scared of it learn how to handle the weapon.
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You both have a right to your feelings. Perhaps try figuring out why you are uncomfortable; such as your lack in knowledge or training…kids in the home…past experience, etc…in todays world there is no way i would not have a gun in my home.
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Get gun safety training. Practice shooting, the world is a shitty place, and the man just wants to protect his family. I too was uncomfortable until I had some education on gun safety etc. My kids also have had this training.
Just because you didn’t get your way doesn’t mean your feelings weren’t considered. Safety trumps your feelings though. As long as that gun is locked up/stored safely, you need to just get over it honestly. With the way the world is going, you want guns in your home. If you’re that uncomfortable, have you and your partner, and your children (depending on their ages) take gun safety courses so you can become educated on how to safely use and store guns.
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If this person is knowledgeable on firearms, keeps them in a safe place and is a responsible gun owner I don’t understand your concern. Why does it make you uncomfortable? Maybe try thinking about it as a means of protection. His feelings and ability to protect himself as well as you matter too. Come to a compromise and if you trust this person then there shouldn’t be an issue.
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Depends on why you’re uncomfortable with it exactly?
Do you want your man to protect you or not?! If it’s legal and locked up responsibility, be glad you are protected while you wait for 911 to show up. If this is about him not respecting your wishes, that’s a huge red flag over something this serious. I say dump him and get your own gun 
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You can have your views and he can have his. If it’s put away as it should be, why does it matter? You don’t have to use it or see it.
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Kick him and his gun out
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Your partner not bringing a gun in the house is “respecting” you… but how is their view of firearms being respected as well?
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Have him teach you how to use it. You’ll feel empowered and take back your fear.
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I don’t know if there are any underlying issues that are causing you to be uncomfortable. I don’t know if you’re saying uncomfortable when you mean afraid and I am so very sorry if you are and that is a different issue entirely. However, if taken upon face value as being uncomfortable, his feelings should be taken into consideration as well. In the world we live in it is not a terrible idea to have a firearm for protection as long as it is legal and he is a licensed owner and all of the safety precautions are taken that it should be okay. Now you said it was a respect and trust aspects of your relationship, does this go beyond the gun issue? Have you felt this way and brought them up about other things and your feelings were not taken into consideration? If so, you have to decide if this is a person you truly want to continue on with a relationship. I hope you find your solution.
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My husband and I different views on guns, he hunts and wants them for safety.
As long as he/we teach our children proper gun safety and keep guns properly locked up and away, then I am okay with it.
As long as it’s in a safe location, it’s OK. You’ll change your mind if someone breaks into your home. Hopefully that never happens.
My house have guns. So my husband love gun me to
I would honestly try to meet them halfway IF the gun is legal. Your SO can keep a gun in the house but the gun is to be locked up in a safe, unloaded
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This might be a make or break on your relationship. What other things are you guys opposite on? I feel like that’s a big thing. If I didn’t want hubs to have guns we would just not be compatible. We both own and carry.
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What about their feelings??? Why are yours the only ones that matter???
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Listen my mom never wanted fire arms either, but she now has a conceal carry license because in broad daylight cars in the drive some dude tried busting down her back door. She knew my dad had a gun in the house because it was inherited but after that she understood the need to get trained on how to safely and properly handle a weapon and now “just in case” she knows what to do. Also you sound kinda like a jerk because “you are right and he’s wrong and I should pout until I get my way”. I can promise you that no one in this world is going to be in your side like you think they would. People are evolving heck we fought for equality amongst men and women you had better get to thinking that way
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Your SO has a constitutional right to have said gun, if you don’t like it, don’t touch it
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Maybe if he took you to a firing range and showed you how to use the gun you’d feel more comfortable being around one at home.
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I would never be with a man who didn’t have guns.
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But it needs to be mutual. Are you respecting how he feels?
Learn to use it.
As strong women it’s important to know how to protect ourselves.
People are really uninformed of how many murders and suicides happen because a gun was available. Also the number of kids who get to them and kill themselves or someone else
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Your house, Your rules…
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So I guess his feelings about it don’t matter either ?? There needs to be a compromise ! I don’t love the idea of my husband having 1 in the home , but it is stored safely and secure away from the kids and out of sight hidden. Seems like you’re over reacting a bit
Momma of 5 my husband are both licensed gun owners and have plenty. He hunts and I carry for protection. There isn’t a safe place in the world we are living in. My 16 and 15 year olds already started the learning process. I understand the feeling of being uneasy with it as when I met my husband he comes from a family of hunters and gun owners and I was a city girl who knew nothing. But when I asked questions he answered them all. And I became comfortable and then learned myself. It isn’t unreasonable to be afraid of anything that has the power to kill but to learn and understand may help you
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Just get a gun lock box if you are worried about your children getting their hands on it.
Why are ppl so scared of guns. What I read is your scared of him having one. So you should probably end relationship.
It’s isn’t going to get up out of the safe one night and sh**t you. A human needs to be behind that trigger. And clearly you don’t trust the one behind it. Bc you clearly state he keeps it in a safe spot so like kids can’t get it.
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Rebecca Machacz and why does his automatically trump over hers? And she said that it is her house. So if he moved in with her then yes she should hold more weight.
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Grow up. If he’s doing the safety protocols then it shouldn’t be an issue. Have him teach and train you on it. One day it could save your life.
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I think you have a right to be upset if you’re worried your kids might get to it or he might use it on you. If that’s your problem there’s no real solution. If he wants to get rid of it that’s something he’ll have to come up with on his own, if you don’t want to be around it you could ask him to please leave.
You’re allowed to feel.
Edit: I saw that you said it’s a trust/respect thing, did he intentionally hide it from you or just bring it home one day and refused to listen to you? I feel like both are red flags, is there a reason he would all of a sudden get a gun? Did a family member give it to him or did he go to a gun shop? I would try to look into his phone. Be safe girly!
How are you respecting their views if they didn’t bring one into the house? It’s a two way street. As long as it’s put up safely and secured, what’s the actual problem? This is a moment where you could come together, and you could take a day at the firing range to learn how to use it properly.
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I think if he knows how to properly handle one and you have a gun safe then it shouldn’t be a problem. I understand about being uncomfortable around them, but if he knows what he’s doing, then trust him.
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His house too yeah?
Compromise
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Learn how to properly use it, then decide.
 I say get to know the gun, get comfortable with it, start practicing shooting!!
I’m sure he feels was extremely hurt because his feelings we’re not considered!
In a relationship it shouldn’t be your way or no way

If he is proficient with it , I would be glad he wants to be able to protect us. You should learn to handle one. There are gun clubs with certified instructors all around. Nearly everyone I know grew up with some kind of firearm in their home, and we were taught to respect it. Keep it locked up and teach your children.
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These posts just keep getting dumber.
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Maybe it’s the way you went about telling him. There is always a compromise when you both state your case .if you were being loud or karen like about it then he isn’t going to listen .
Also, have him take you to the range, show you how to handle it and get more comfortable around it. No, you don’t have to use it, but you should know how if you have to.
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Yeah grow tf up 
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No one should have a weapon in the house unless both people consent to it.
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So your feelings are more important than his? If it’s properly secured whats the issue? If you can’t agree to disagree The relationship is already OVER.
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Me and husband have different views but just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean he has to change his preferences. He has one inside the house (out of view) and I’m ok with it.
Don’t make him change his views just because you don’t like certain things
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So if I am reading right it sounds like he moved into HER house. So if that is the case yes she should have more of a say
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It’s his house as well, not just yours. My husband does and brings stuff home I’m uncomfortable with or don’t like all the time. I personally don’t think it’s a big deal. Especially in today’s day and age. Make sure he has it locked up and only he can access it. Maybe that will help you.
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Maybe instead of fearing something, you should take classes and learn how to use it. With the way the world is today, your gonna need a gun. Sad but facts. Just think if someone breaks into your home, you’ve got protection. Guns are not bad.
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If someone was to try to harm your family and that was the only protection yall had, I think you’d change your mind. I think if it’s safely secured and locked up, it should be okay.
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You need to compromise… if he wants a gun, he should be able to have one. If you want a safe home, you should be able to have one. Get a gun safe and lock it up. If you are still afraid, it’s him that you are afraid of and having a gun is not the problem here
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I would say the gun/protection thing is more important than the trust thing. As far as, one is a matter of life and death. I would move out.
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Respect is a 2 way street… Compromise…if he’s not going to the range, it needs to be under lock and key.
Honestly I had the same view…NO GUNS until I woke up at 2am with man looking in my window. My husband has going on call at the end of the week. I ended up with a gun in the house…I was terrified. But learning to properly handle it and shot it changed my mind.
And going to the range really is a great stress reliever. Hope y’all find that happy balance.
I guess it would depend the reason WHY he did it
If he just did it cuz he didn’t care what you had to say, that’s one thing.
If he forgot he had it on and brought it in, totally a diff thing
If he had a good reason, then maybe you two need to talk openly about why and how you feel the way you feel
If he really wanted one he should’ve talked to you about it and discussed the reason why he thinks its important and not just did it. It’s disrespectful. Idk if there are kids in the home but if so thats more of a reason to discuss it.
He is protecting you and your family! Why do you feel uncomfortable about it? Sorry but in the world we live in we ALL need to be armed and ready to protect ourself and our families.
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Wow shocked by how many are ok with having a gun in their homes. With children. I’m glad that I live in the UK and we have our gun controls in place.
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It is disrespectful that he brought one in without permission. But, you should have been willing to compromise with him. Obviously if there’s kids around ever the gun should always be in a locked safe, that’s an easy compromise to make with someone you love.
If anyone in the house is uncomfortable then it doesn’t belong there. He can keep it in a gun safe in his car or the garage. There’s too much tertiary bullshit to bother arguing or trying to compromise.
If someone breaks into your house do you expect your significant other to protect you or have you been training your whole life for this and plan to protect your family?
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You need it these days. I carry one with me at all times. Why are you against it? If it’s because they scare you then take classes on how to get over that. I used to be scared of guns and would shake all over because I witnessed a friend killed by a gun. My boyfriend took me out and got me over that fear and I’m so glad I did it.
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If you can’t handle having a gun in the house, and it’s more than a trust thing, either explain to us or leave.
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What about his feelings too? Should he only conform to your feelings? Maybe with him a gun means protection not to harm…maybe you should find a happy medium
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I get you being uncomfortable with guns. You didn’t say if you had kids or not. If the gun is kept safely secured, it shouldn’t be an issue. If you are scared of guns, ask your SO to teach you to shoot and to handle the gun safely. Get a conceal and carry permit and maybe even a gun if your own. Our world is a dangerous place. It’s better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have one. You are lucky. I have issues with mental illness and am not allowed to own a gun. So I don’t have one. I am trapped in my apartment after dark. I’m 65 years old. I don’t want to carry pepper spray. If the wind is blowing the wrong way, I could get incapacitated right along with any attacker. I’ve been discouraged from carrying a knife. A state cop said I could use a crossbow. Lol. Like that’s convenient while walking a dog at night. Currently, I put down potty pads for my dog, but she prefers to potty outside and I’m afraid sometimes her bladder will burst, especially in winter when daylight to dusk is such a short period of time. I did go out after dark with her once, only to be surprised by a guy working on his motorcycle, concealed behind discarded furniture. My dog and I made it back inside before he saw us. It could just as easily been a bad situation, over before help could arrive. My dog is large, but she’s also 11 years old. I’m not allowed to own a pit bull in this apartment building. But I may ask for a waiver. Pitbulls are usually pretty mellow unless their owners are threatened. I would have mine trained not to respond without a command from me. There is a lady here who has a German Shepherd. When my dog passes, I may look into one of those. I primarily need an emotional support dog or Psychiatric Service Dog. I have anxiety attacks and PTSD, among other problems. But now that I live in town and I’m a little worried about being out after dark in this neighborhood, I feel I need some protection. You should be happy your SO has a gun in the house to protect you and you have the ability to learn to use it without issues. There are a lot of strange people in this world… and some would as soon hurt you as look at you.
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All of yall saying the gun should be in a locked safe so if someone breaks in your home you are going to tell them to hold on while you unlock the safe? No man! Teach your children gun safety! I was raised around guns. We were taught no matter what they are ALWAYS loaded and don’t point it at anyone or ANYTHING unless you intend to kill it! My 6 yr old has been taught the same thing! You can get the gun on safety locked but you need to be able to access it quickly if something happens.
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If he feels safer. Do you guys live in a bad neighborhood? He needs a lock box and put up.
Everyone will need one soon enough
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I carry. My kids shoot. It’s your fear. Not his.
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I’m uncomfortable with guns due to a previous DV situation involving them. I don’t like to handle them. Nothing. However I cannot deny that having a means to protect your home and family is good thing IF ever needed. My boyfriend wants guns and all I ask is that they’re in a cabinet locked and I do not want our children aware that there’s guns in the home due to possibility of them trying to get them to show friends or out of curiosity. You cannot control what your partner does. I don’t think anyone gets that. Relationships do not equal control. Compromise? Absolutely. Get a gun safe. You’ll be fine
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Just make sure its locked up in a gun safe and teach gun safety. It’s not really your choice however find ways to be ok with it.
Honestly if it’s for protection I totally understand and if it’s put up then nothing to worry about.
A relationship/marriage is compromised and communication.
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Everybody should own a firearm!!
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People who are uncomfortable with guns are people who haven’t tried to get use to a gun, not having a gun only strips away your right/chance, to protect yourselves and your loved ones, take the initiative to protect yourself, noones gonna do it for you
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You need to respect how he feels too.
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I can assure you that if someone broke into your home they’d have a gun so that goes with the old saying, you’re outta luck only having a knife in a gun fight…Keep the gun hun.
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Hit up your local gun range and see if they might have women’s classes on how to use it? I was taught gun safety at a very young age and safety is VERY important when it comes to guns. I understand how you can feel the disrespect, but a gun isn’t actually dangerous unless in the hands of someone who doesn’t understand how to use it.
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I was the exact same way my husband has a gun it stayed with his parents now it is at our home in a safe it I s a safety, rights,and this world has gone crazy thing so with out being salty ask him why he really did it hid mind may think deeper or just different then yours I have 5 kids and NEVER wanted a gun in my house and talking and listening to my husband’s thoughts and point of view it changes things a bit
I live in the south. Everyone down here has guns in there house. We have about 10 in our house
Girl pick your battles. It may save your life one day.
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I’m guessing most people here don’t realize that guns are the number one cause of death for American children. You can’t blame her for not wanting them in her house with her children. Accidents can happen no matter how safe you are. Some people would rather not take the risk.
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