I’m a mother of 2 boys with another on the way. My S.O has children from a previous relationship… he is a great father to them but has issues being decent to mine. His children come to me for affection which I give them wholeheartedly, but when my son (9) goes in for a hug with him he pushes him away and barks " personal space, I don’t want to be touched," and it hurts him I can see it in my son’s eyes. All he wants is a father figure; he’s a sweet boy who’d give the shirt off his back to ANYONE who needs it. I’ve expressed it, and my S.O gets offended. I am currently pregnant with his child; after work, I am exhausted, so sometimes I have a cat nap. Last night I was in a dead sleep feeling gross and punky, he came flying to our room handing me the phone saying " my daughter wants to talk to you she’s in tears " I get up and speak with her calm her down and give the phone back. Then my son says to me, " Why was she allowed to wake you up and talk to you, but " I wasn’t ?" It upset me, to say the least, that he put his daughter’s needs ahead of my son’s needs when it came to me. I told him not to do that ever again. He snapped at me, calling me a common name ( B ) and said, that’s fine. You won’t ever speak with her again. Whatever, I said I’m not fighting with you. I have to stand for my son; nobody else will. The treatment is extremely different when it comes to mine and his. He doesn’t help with cleaning and has bought groceries once. He has been having his children over three times a week, and I have to feed all of us on a single income as he keeps his for him and takes off to party his money up without contributing to rent, food Bill’s, etc. It’s expensive; he doesn’t seem to care as I’ve expressed it to him many times. It’s to the point where I’m about to tell him he needs to leave and support himself and his own children as I’m pretty much sucked dry.
Dick cant be that good. He is a jerk to your kid doesn’t help with money or housework. Sure you got a man?
I’d leave ASAP. No one should treat your children or you like that. No one.
My boyfriend we have two kids together but I have two oldest kids that isnt his but he treat them like his own too no matter what cause I told him when I first met him I’ve stated that kids will be alawys comes first top priority hes on same as page as I am …he sound so rude and if he cant change his way how he treat your kid tell him bye bye !!
You’re doing the right thing, tell him to go, you got this, you’re already supporting everyone. Give your little man a hug
Leave him. Fuck letting him treat your son like that while doing you dirty at the same time financially.
I think you’ve answered your own question and already know exactly what you need to do…
Why are you with someone who doesn’t accept your kids??
Time to say goodbye to the SO.
Yes leave ASAP that is a POS that is no man!!!
I’m sorry what is SO??
I wouldn’t even bother staying in a relationship with a person who doesn’t help and is a asshole towards my children
Why are you with him if he contributes nothing to the relationship?? Put your kids first. They deserve better. My bf treats my daughter like an angel. Hugs her, snuggles on the couch and helps out as much as possible. He’s even coaching her teeball team. He treats all our kids equally the way it should be.
Was he always like that or did it happen after you got pregnant? My husband was absolutely fantastic with my son until I had our child. Now it’s me constantly saying something. If he was like this before, why are you with him?
Tell him to leave then that could be considered being abusive and not good for your son you have to put your son before your bf
Don’t let him, make you think that his behaviors are acceptable. Run while you still have your sanity, it will only get worse. Don’t get stuck in this place.
You need to leave him bcuz he is mistreating ur children. Why keep them around a toxic person who is killing them emotionally?
You gotta ditch that dude
That’s exactly what you need to do otherwise you’re kids are shortchanged
I’m sorry but WTF!? If anyone treated my kid that way they’d be gone so fast. I feel so sad for your little boy. You both deserve better. I hope you leave that asshole.
I’m sorry but you have to let him go , men like him never change and the fact he can even treat a child like that says ALOT about his character honey. Take your kids and go
Leave now. Seriously. Pregnant or not. Your kids that aren’t his will suffer and it won’t be until after you leave him, because one day you will, that they tell you the full scope of the awfulness your man will have done to them over the years. I know this from experience and you’re literally in a position where you need to choose between your relationship and the well-being of your children. I hope you choose your children.
Nope boy bye. Your son needs to come first
So he isnt being a man in any aspect is what you are saying. You know the answer and you know what to do. You have to know your worth and expect nothing less. It wont be easy, but it will be right. Good luck momma.
Being alone would be better than taking his shit. He won’t change even if you wanted him to. Selfish asshole smh.
Please save yourself the guilt and pick someone better. Always put your kids first. My husband is more accepting of my son than his own father and I wouldnt have it any other way. I have a hard time coping how I’m going to explain to my son why his real daddy didnt want him. Trust your mama instincts. If something isn’t right nip it in the bud now and get it over with. Give your children a childhood they dont have to recover from.
I would leave, your kid is more important than your significant other. This will cause him alot of problems phycologically if you don’t nip it in the bud. You can’t make him love your kids, you just have to find someone who is willing to.
So I’m sure you saw the signs of him not accepting your son well ahead of time and now you go and get pregnant by him? like girl no you are at fault for that. How about you think about your son, and leave his ass because no one should EVER come before your child. I dont see how you dont see how much hurt this can cause your son in the long run. who knows how he talks to him when you are asleep or not around. like really? I’m sorry but I will always be the type of person who thinks the worse first because abuse happens alot in homes and if he can treat your son like crap then it can escalate.
It goes both ways…Love is a two way street of 100%. Sens him on his way. You got this.
Show him the door, he may end up hurting your boy
Your son’s is important than him. If he wants to be with you he should love and accept your boys as much as you accept his daughter and love her as well. If he can’t do that then he definitely isn’t the one to be with. I would never choose a guy over my kids. I hope you’ll figure out what is best.
this won’t help at all… but after reading “personal space” i stopped reading… That poor kid is not going to have a healthy ideology of fatherhood when he gets older.
Anybody that I would describe as “has issues being decent to my kids” would be getting the f’n boot. Like, yesterday. Everyone has parenting fail moments, but if this is the norm then he’s not for you or YOUR family.
Yup get rid of him. He’s ungrateful and all about himself. No need for that.
If you have expressed to him several times about his behavior then is time to go!! Don’t put your kids through that! They don’t deserve it!! They need to feel loved!
Hell no. If he cant treat all the kids the same he needs to GO.
I’d leave him. If he doesn’t treat your kids as his own what good is he anyway?
Leave hes not going to change
Don’t stay in this relationship! It will destroy your son’s spirit!
Get rid of him, get him for child support and leave the state so he cant see them kids. Hes just gonna cause him more emotional trauma. You dont deserve that!
Sounds like it’s time to put the trash out where he belongs
I think you should leave. When you are with someone who has kid(s) from a previous relationship they should be treated as your own. Don’t let him bully your son or you any longer.
Coming from the now grown child in the situation. Leave. I’ve still got issues trusting people. I had a pretty much non existent relationship with my mom for awhile. Your kids don’t deserve that. Do you want them to grow up thinking emotional abuse is normal?
He would have been gone long before I got pregnant by him.
Girl get the fuck out now ain’t going to get better when that baby comes you’ll be doing everything if he cant chip in to help with bills for HIS kids as well as yours everything will be on your shoulders when that baby comes I’m talking feedings, diaper changes, everything because it’s clear HIS needs are priority over you again get out now
Let him go. If he can’t treat your kids right at this miment he never will. You and your kids deserves happiness and with what’s going in his holding you and you kiddos back from that. You work for you and your babies and take care of you guys needs and wants first.
do it. tell him goodby.
I would have realized this before getting pregnant and starting roots with this man 🤦
He should have been gone along time ago. People treat you the way you allow them too.
Seems to me,you dont need him,he needs you!
Your kids are part of you if he can’t love them he doesn’t love part of you. They will always be your kids. Stand up for them. Read that again. Run girl thats a toxic relationship
I’d leave him. My son is more important than any man ever will be. If he acted like that with my son, I wouldn’t stay with him because in the long run, it’s only hurting your son. Like you said, you have to stand up for your son.
Why are you still with him? You are doing a huge diservice to your son.
How about you choose your child, he deserves so much better and quit trying to change the man.
Kick his ass out. If he can’t help with bills,food general cleaning let him go elsewhere and see where he can live for free.
He’s a freeloader with baggage and disrespectful to YOUR kids.
Pack his Stuff and give him back to his Momma!
See the signs now. Yes you are pregnant but you can make it as a single momm Why do you need to look after him if its his job jou provide for you and look after you. His children will become your children and your son will become his son. He needs to treat them the same as his own and the baby on the way even if he is not the biological father he can be a heart father. If he treats your son like that now it wont stop and your son will find diffrent ways to find love and acceptance.
You need to leave him and put your son first. He is not a good man for you.
You need to leave and stop putting your son through this abuse
Throw the whole man away!
Try Jesus in your life
LEAVE!!! I would never ever allow that!!!
Oh hell no. You can do bad all by yourself. If my husband EVER separated my children from his, I’d leave him in the blink of an eye. I have two other children from my previous marriage and then one with him and another on the way. Screw that. Those are your babies to protect and the last thing I’d do is let some man break my kids heart bc he doesn’t want to be a dad figure to him. If he didn’t want to be a father figure to your kids, he should’ve never stepped up to you. I’d be livid. LEAVE.
Not cool. Your kids don’t deserve that.
You already know what time it is. That’s b.s. In my family, I am the one with income as well. But my husband goes out to bring in funds to make ends meet. Whatever he brings in, he gives to me. If I want to rest, he lets me, and he makes sure were taken care of. We have a child together so I can’t relate to the treating of children that aren’t his different than his bio child. But I am a step child and my dad treated me like his own. That’s what a man does. My husband said, when I read this to him, that he isn’t a man if he is going to treat an innocent child like that regardless of who the child belongs to. Children are sacred. And if he is going to act the way he does, then he isn’t the one. That’s coming from a MAN. Ditch his ass. If he does that crap and you don’t enforce punishment then it is enabling him. Show him what he’s fucking up.
I’d be f’ing pissed. Like beyond pissed.
Why are you with this peice of shit??? If you put your kid first then why is your SO still there? This is abuse at its finest to you and your son. Just leave.
Leave? By the sounds of it your already doing it all alone anyway, blended families are hard to navigate, but it shouldnt be overly hard for him to treat all the same. If its that hard for him than it will just get worse when the new one arrives and yiur kids see that a child that came from you is getting treated differently than they are.
Why are you there? Poor kid. Some9ne needs to put him first.
Leave him. If hes gonna treat ur kid like a nuisance leave him
KICK HIM TO THE CURB!!! your child is an extention of you… if hes treating your child like that its essentially treating you like that… id be gone pregnant or not…
Fuck that. I’d have bounced the first time he did that to my kid.
You need to leave. I would never let any man talk to my children or treat my children that way. You clearly can handle your own without him contributing so might as well kick him to the curb!
Your son comes first. Plain and simple. Luckily, it sounds like you’re already taking care of everything by yourself, might as well get rid of the angry/hostile dead weight…
Leaveeee. You already know thats the answer as you said it at the end of your message. Children come first. If a man doesn’t respect/love your kids as his own he is not the man for you period.
Yet you’re allowing this. You can’t change his behavior but you CAN change yours.
Get rid of him!!! Don’t let your baby be mistreated! There are plenty of good men out there who would love to love your son
Find someone, to read this story out loud to you, eyes closed,. Have them read it to you again. Would you allow your daughter, sister, or best friend be treated like that? If I don’t like this true story, I do t believe you do either. Women, in general need to hold one another up…
I would leave him and he will change if he loves you but most guys like your so won’t you need to take care of yourself and your children before him
I’d leave him!!! All of what you said is just horrible and I wouldn’t give that POS another second of your time.
I hope after writing that out, you can see what needs to be done.
I feel like when people ask for help, they already know what the answer is.
Read through what all of these women have said…and act!
He will not change.
So you need to!
Thats exactly what you need to do.don’t let him mistreat your son.you don’t need to be supporting him and his children.
Leave his sorry ass. I’m sorry - you AND your children deserve better
Ummm this behavior doesn’t seem like new news to you…why would you stay with him prior to pregnancy? You need to leave that abusive relationship. Staying with him just shows your son that he doesn’t matter and unfortunately he will allow other people to treat him that way as well.
Hate to say it, but you need to get out of that relationship. Actually I would not even call it a relationship because that would imply equal treatment. You are being used. Your SO is toxic to you and your kids. what’s he going to do once your little one is born? favor him/her over your kids - right in the same house?
your kids should come first put your so out the door
I’m not sure why you decided to have baby with that POS. You don’t have to accept every dick that comes along you know.
Do it. Why should he eat at a table when he isnt contributing in anyway? Stop enabling him. Do you and yours!
Never subject your child to that and let it continue. If you stick around you are basically letting your son know that you think it’s OK the people treat him like that. ￼He didn’t ask to come into this world and doesn’t deserve for his home to feel anything but loving.
It doesn’t sound like things will change. Put him to the curb. Your son needs you more. Sounds like your a wonderful mother.
I say leave him if he can’t treat yours like he treats his. That’s not good step dad material
Do NOT stay in a relationship where YOUR child is treated differently!!! I tried this and took the BS for 13 yrs. It only made me bitter and my son feeling worthless. I have spent the last 25 yrs. trying to help my son know his worth. You may love this man but I think things will only get worse, like when he eventually puts his hands on the child. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son!!!
I’d leave. I wouldn’t allow anyone to treat my kids shitty like that.
I definitely wouldnt give a second thought about leaving if you told him ONE TIME to stop acting like that towards your son and he didnt. He was told one time too many and nobody should choose a man over their child.
Why are you with anyone who treats your child less than? Your baby deserves love and if he can’t offer that leave him. That makes you less than if you accept that. Your a mother first and a girlfriend/wife second. Kick his ass to the curb
I would 100% leave. My sons happiness is worth more than mine.
Are you serious? Why are you even with someone that treats your child like this, children are to be protected physically and emotionally by their parents.
Just the fact that he treats your son like that is enough to leave him. Then you add an entire list of things that show just how shitty this guy is… girl you need to kick his ass to the curb. You can’t make him the kind of man you want.
That’s such a sin he treats your boy that way , family is family . My partner an I both have a child from previous relationships , I’d never treat his son different then my daughter just like he would never either . We have one due in a month an I honestly couldn’t imagine staying with him if he ever treated my daughter how your partner treats ur son . I’d tell him you are seriously giving him a little bit of time to smarten up an change his ways or he has to get out n find his own place to go , let him pay to live for once girl , stay strong an never stop fighting for your boy
Why would you stay with someone who doesn’t want anything to do with your son?
Run…run as fast as u can.