Anonymous, please. So my S/O and I have been together for four years. We broke up late 2018 due to him talking to another girl online. Basically, he was confiding in her more than me and talking crap about me to her. When I confronted him about it, I told him to choose between her and I. He ended up choosing her, and we broke up. We recently got back together May of last year, and we’re expecting a baby boy this April. I found out yet again that he was talking to her. One of the conditions to us getting back together was for him to delete the server, which he talked to her and not talk to her ever again. He left his twitter open, and I saw him communicating with her again. Their conversations had nothing negative against me this time, but it’s the fact that he went behind my back and did it again after I told him not too. We’re about to start a family, and I honestly don’t know what to do. Am I overreacting?
It’s best too leave him and be done he’s done it once he will continue too do it
Be done with him sis. Just be done.
This will continue to be a problem. You need to separate ways and focus on co-parenting.
Of course you know what to do. You did it the 1st time and slipped off your ground. Leave. Don’t take him back. He does not respect you. He would never have chosen someone else otherwise. How could you ever expect to be first in his life at this point?
Not over reacting. I’d be done. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
No you are not overreacting!!! He broke a promise to you! This is disrespectful and wrong. Confront him.
What everyone else said. You should’ve been done from the second he cheated, then he chose her. He’s still choosing her.
He has no respect for you. Leave him. And please learn to love yourself enough to know your worth.
Let go move on. He will be cheating on you with her. Again
He only does it because he was getting away with it. He’ll only learn when you walk away for good, maybe. But you gave him a fair chance. You will find better.
This is to much fuck him. .he doesn’t love you he did it once . He stopped and here he is doing it again ? He doesn’t care about you or your feelings at all 100 
real he doesn’t care . You deserve better
You need to keep it moving.
Be done w/ his ass. He obviously doesn’t respect you or the relationship
Just leave that man ain’t gunna change if he had any respect that wouldn’t have even happened the first time
Sorry to say…once a cheater always a cheater😩Should’ve quit while you were ahead🙌
“…yet again…” should be your clue!
Dumb… why you go back to man who pick a chick OVER YOU.
He does not respect you. Get out now before the baby is born. Maybe you can coparent well but you do not need to be with someone who cares so little about you
Just curious. Why did you get back with him? Sounds like he was, is and always will be scum. He clearly doesn’t respect you at all, especially with him talking bad about you to this girl. Just because on the message you saw they weren’t talking about you doesn’t mean it’s not still happening.
If he chose her once he’ll do it again🤦 not going to have a fairytale family unfortunately
It was an issue from the beginning.
I think you should confront him about it. Maybe they stayed friends. If friends then he shouldn’t have no problem coming to you bout why he was talking to her. If he acts like he didn’t then or lies then he has more going on with her. Then cut ur lose from him. Work on co-parenting.
Don’t take someone back because you just taught them how to treat you… same reason rapists become murderers they won’t get caught next time
Leave again. Leave. Leave. Leave.
Nope, he is not a man of his word. He lacks integrity which is a character flaw. Be done with him
“When someone shows you their true colors, believe them the first time.”
That would be a deal breaker for me. He clearly has boundary and respect issues that he hasn’t resolved.
unfortunately this man told you he did not want you and you lowered your standards and the bar. It sounded like he settled for you and you know it. Then you agreed to have his child. It’s too late at this point because the fact that you are still asking if it’s you, not him, leads me to believe you are ok being second. I don’t mean to sound harsh but it’s the truth. You can’t love someone into loving you and a baby will make things worse, not the baby itself but you have no solid foundation with this man. You have again excused him by minimizing their conversation to basically saying “ well, at least he didn’t talk bad about me to his side chick”. Good luck honey.
So he picks a girl over you ? That should have been enough. He’s not going to change and having a baby won’t make him change , stay, or pick you .
Let’s put it this way. 15 years ago my dad had an affair and was also speaking to multiple other woman through email. My parents split, mom took him back. Found out years later he continued to keep in contact with this woman for another year after they got back. 15 years later he did it again and they finally divorced. If this is your “again” it’ll keep happening.
He is clearly interested in the other girl…Say buh bye
Sorry but if he was confiding in another woman and talking crap to her about me then I would be done with him the first time I would not have ever got back with him. Yes I do understand why you were upset because he did it after promising you he wouldn’t but like I said I would’ve never got back with him in the first place sorry but that was just disrespecting you and I would not tolerate being disrespected.
Oh hunny, you shouldn’t have taken him back.
Move on.
He didn’t respect you then and doesn’t now.
I’d be gone. Simple babe.
Leave and don’t look back!!!
You already have started a family cuz you are pregnant.
If that was one of the stipulations on the relationship and getting back together…he broke that…so to me the relationship is broken again
Time to move on. He CLEARLY cares for her and chose her over you in the first place. Having a baby with him isn’t going to make him change. Leave now.
I’d leave and not even put him on birth certificate he low life scum that will never change
It will not end, even if it does with this woman, he will find another!! What a few have said - he doesn’t respect you, and nothing will change that! Not trying to sound harsh, but it is a sad reality! I’ve been there unfortunately!
Leave, it’ll keep happening and he isn’t worth it.
He’s obviously not going to change. This is the person that he chose over you before. He knew if he communicated with her that it could end your relationship together. He chose to do it anyway. I think that speaks for itself.
dump him he will always cheat
Let him go! I’m all for second chances, but if I gave my significant other an ultimatum to choose me or the person that he’s cheating on me with and he chose her, you don’t get a second chance, that WAS your second chance. He showed you exactly who he was and you took him back and then you went on to create another life with this person. You need to cut him loose and move on with your life. Take him for child support and move on with your life. If you have to create stipulations to get back with somebody or to get with anybody, then that relationship is doomed from the start.
Ugh you took him back after he chose another girl over you. 
You know how it goes “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…” Leave him and don’t take him back after this.
Sadly yr pregnant now so it’s not that easy to break ties
But for yr own sanity and peace of mind…u should.
You made a big mistake. Getting back together with a guy who cheated on you. What do you think was going to happen?
I’m sorry I really don’t mean to b rude but if he picked her over u the first time Why start a family with him? I mean now in your life will b nothing but stress and hurt for u and baby. Dumb choice in my opinion… Guys never chsnge.
Dude I would leave. You deserve better. No way I’m gonna turn a blind eye to my husband “talking” to another women … just friends or not I wouldn’t feel comfortable, especially if he was hiding it. I’m sure if it were the other way around he wouldn’t like it much either. I would tell him you know he is talking to her again. That he broke your trust. But you do with it is all up to you. I would tell my husband he broke my trust and my heart and therefore our relationship is broken… it would never be the same. I feel I probably could never trust him again and trust is a big factor in a marriage or any relationship. I would end it and as far as our kids we would have to work something out because I would never kept my children from there farther unless he become a danger to them.
Also if I were you amd he chose that girl over you the first time I would have never in a million years take him back no matter how much I loved him… I would never be anyonrs second choice forget that.
Good luck
leopard do not change their spots once a ding-a-ling always a ding-a-ling run as fast as you can
Not you’re not over reacting. Been thru this it won’t stop.
He wants to be with her, not you. Having a baby with him aint changing that fact. Let him go and be with her, so you both can be happy.
Sorry but the 1st time he chose her ove you, you should have been done with him. I understand still caring for someone and goving them another chance but with something like this NO. He chose her the 1st time he obviously still cares for her and does not respect you or your wishes which are reasonable. Sorry to say but it may be time to say bye for good. You deserve better than that. NO on deserves to be cheated on and in my book talking to and entertaining other women is still cheating. Emotionally. You don’t want your child to grow up thinkjng cheating is normal behavior. Nor do you want your children to see you mistreated and unhappy. Just know you aren’t over reacting in the slightest
exactly! Don’t take him back, he literally chose this chick over you before, it’s just going to keep happening, Leave and never look back, you deserve Soo much better! Raise that baby in a loving environment, he/she doesn’t need parents that can’t trust each other, or fight. Doing it alone may seem scary but it’s definitely doable, there’s lots of gov. Support available to get you on your feet and your baby cared for while you work/school whatever your ambitions are.
He has no respect for you because you allow him to disrespect you. KNOW YOUR WORTH!!! don’t let no one, having you look like a fool.
Divorce, Child Support and visitation is your next move…
I would leave. You gave him a chance and he showed you who he is and who matters
Boy byeeeeee - he isn’t going to change and he never intended to.
My husband started with small things like this until it escalated to him getting nudes and having side relationships with his “friends” and then he would lie to me about it and make me seem crazy for thinking it even when I had proof and made me feel like it was all my fault because he would pull the “you arnt here for me” line. I would give me the ultimatum again. Either me or her and if he doesnt man tf up and delete her then walk away and dont look back because it will only get worse.
If you have to have ultimatums in a relationship, you shouldn’t be together at all. Especially if he hasn’t wifed you up in 4 years. He’s got other things on his agenda, and so should you! Move on!! You deserve better than you’re allowing yourself to be treated!
You shouldn’t have got back with a man who already chose another women over you once. Big mistake. Now you’re pregnant with his child 
You have to decide on your line. We can’t decide that. With that said what is it that he can’t seem to talk to you about? If this is an addiction on his part, then you know what you need to do. Being pregnant you need to take care of your self mentally & physically.
Awe now you are having a baby for them!! She gets to play house now so sweet of you!! Sorry your screwed…
I’d leave and make it clear you’ll never take him back… He’s made it clear he’s going to choose her every time…
He’s choosing her. Just leave
If you were a second choice then that’s not love. It’s not the first time. How can you even trust him now.
He lied about talking to her. What else will he lie about. Just let him go and out of your live. He won’t ever be able to be trusted to you. He was caught talking to her twice. Doesn’t that tell you something. Leave him
How many times do you need to get hit with lightning to realize a storm is above you? Now you got a baby to deal with on top of things. Smh. Bow out before you look like even more of a dumbass. He obviously don’t respect you. That should piss you off, not make you be his cum dumpster.
Get ride of that boy! I went through the same shit with my sons father. Kicked his ass to the curb real fast. He promised after the first time he wouldnt do it again and i caught him doing it again ended it right then.
There is no way in hell I would have taken someone back that didn’t choose me. I’m sorry your surprised by this. You weren’t who he choose. I’m sorry but he made his choice. Leave his playing ass an find better for yourself:)
you should have never went back when he didnt choose you 1st the first time
Quit being ok with being second!! He does not even deserve you! It sucks and it hurts, I’ve been there. But do yourself a favor and leave! Get your child support and drop him! He is toxic and poisonous. He will only continue to destroy your self worth. You deserve respect:clap: love:clap: and faithfulness.
you are more than welcome to hit me up if you need some girl talk 
Id leave him. I have more than once asked my other half to delete a female because of a gut feelin that something wasnt right. He did not hesitate to delete them. We are expecting a little one in june and a specific female found it funny when someone insulted our child. We both got rid of that person from both our social media. He lets me know who certain females are due to the fact we both are gamers and play online. I will not add anyone unless he knows them
Walk away and don’t look back
Your stupid for taking him back in the first place and getting knocked up with someone like that who you knew was like that… The fact you went back after he left and chose someone else is beyond stupid… You’re allowing him to treat you like crap and to make you 2nd or even 3rd in that relationship… Just walk away
Ex’s are ex’s for a reason, is my belief. My ex did the same thing. Twice. I took him back a second time then he started with his negative shit, no one wants me etc, then it started getting physically violent again. I had enough and have left for good
Honestly he probably has never stopped taking to her .
This man left you for another women and most likely only came back because said other woman got rid for a while…now she is back on the scene and he wants her again and not you…this is not your fault or doing…there is nothing wrong with you (except bad taste in men) the poor baby has not played a part in any of this time to sit down talk it out and figure out where you go from here…never accept second place in someone’s life…you deserve more…xx
Do you want your child brought up in a home that NO respect is shown to mommy, tell him to get out! Live your life for you and your unborn baby, someday someone will come along and treat you and your baby the way you should be treated!! Goodluck mommy! You can do this!!
You already know what you need to do. Time to move on.
Understand you deserve to be your mans first choice. If you are not, he is not your man. Love yourself first, you deserve better then that and you know it. There is someone out there that couldn’t even imagine being with another after having you. Dont stop until you find him❤
He’s already put you second twice, once by leaving you for her and again by talking to her again. Tell him good bye and start living a better life for yourself and your child. Stop being a second choice you deserve better than that. Know your worth girl.
Girl you deserve more. You shouldn’t be anyone’s second or third or back up plan. If he wanted you he would have stayed and as crass as some of the responses have been alot of them are true, you decided to take him back you decided to let him treat you like this so YOU have to make the change. You’ve given him chance and chance again but is he really going to change his ways? Nope not until he’s ready. And it sounds like he doesn’t want to be with you since he’s going elsewhere anyways. Stay strong keep your head up and do what you need to do. Have your baby be that kickass single mom and kick this POS to the curb. I’m all for fixing a relationship, but this isn’t even a relationship anymore is it? Is there trust? Love? Compassion? I cant even drum up kindness on his part. Take a step back from your situation and look at it from behind the glass… what would you tell a girlfriend in your shoes?
Leave and don’t look back! If he’s done it once he will continue to do it ! Life is too short to not be happy and not be able to trust the one you love !!
It’s done
End it before you’re dealing with a baby as well
The question you need to ask yourself is this can you trust him if the answer is no then you know what you have to do if there is no trust or respect than no matter how much you love them it will not work and it’s obvious he has no respect for your feelings or the family he has started with you I will be praying for you and your baby
What did you really expect?
Sorry to be blunt, but he is only with you when things are off with her obviously. He got back with you after things didnt work out with her ( yet again) cause you were there and willing. And you got pregnant. Now things are heating up with her, so he’ll dump you and go running back to her. She was the original girlfriend…he picked you up when they were on the outs. YOU were the side piece. You arent starting a family girl…you are starting a baby daddy lying cheating other woman drama fest. You deserve better. GET OUT NOW, HE WILL NEVER CHANGE. PERIOD.
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Unfortunately, you did that to yourself. You think that having a child will change a man and keep him! Not ever in the history or relationships that has ever been accomplished
Two chances too many. You can try counseling but if he’s not seeing an issue hurting and lying to you that should say all that needs to be said. You can do this 100 times and unless he thinks you are more important than whatever he’s getting from this other person it won’t change. It doesn’t matter if you are pregnant or screwing his brains out or are the hottest gal in the world some people just don’t care- trust your gut. If your unhappy now imagine how that will translate to your new baby. You deserve happiness and peace of mind. Good luck 
Get real… He never stopped talking to her. You shouldn’t have even gotten back together with him and now you’re stuck with him for a minimum of 18 years.
Heck no you’re not overreacting. He is so wrong. Unfortunately it seems like he has chosen her again. He knew talking to her again would be an issue for you and he still chose to do it. I’m sorry this is happening while you’re pregnant but you need to respect yourself enough to walk away for good this time. I know it’s easier said than done. What you allow is what will continue.
If there is ever a choice then you shouldn’t stay. If it was real or true for him she NEVER would have been in the picture let alone picked over you. You deserve better. And considering you are fixing to be raising a man you have to think about him more then anyone even your own feelings.
Leave now before your baby gets here!!
Unfortunately you need to leave the relationship girl
The definition of insanity is doing the exact same thing and expecting a different result.
He chose another chick and you chose him to be a father to a child?
Be honest. Did you try to trap him by getting pregnant?
I think he’s made his intentions clear more than once.
Once they cheat they will ALWAYS CHEAT!!
Leave now!!
Shouldve never gone back to him .
Yep your fault he choose her why would you even think of taking him back after that …if you decide to let him go don’t take him back and if you stay well you know what he’s gonna keep on doing have respect for your self just because your pregnant does not mean I need him …I raised two kids on my own and they are fine. So can you …good luck
He doesn’t deserve U. Get out while you still can