Since moving in though I feel like things have changed and he’s no longer meeting my needs. He isn’t as affectionate, we aren’t communicating like we were previously, we aren’t having sex, and if I try to talk about anything he gets mad. Most recently I’ve brought up how I wish he would stay up a little later so he and I could have alone time. He gets up at 430 every morning for work and wants to go to bed by 7 every night. My daughter doesn’t go to bed til 7. So we get ZERO time alone through the week and since moving in he has stopped trying to do date nights or anything alone. I’m not asking him for much but even if he would stay up til 730 we could have 30 mins to just be us, whether that is sex or just alone time to talk. I’m trying not to be frustrated but I feel he’s unwilling to sacrifice anything to help me figure out time to have together. Is this something that will get better or am I just now seeing the real colors since we are living together!? I want this to work and I love him but I have needs that need to be met. My number 2 love languages are time and affection and he isn’t filling either one of those most recently. Help! What should I do. (Also. I’ve sold my home and all my furniture to move into his house which scares me now)
I always hear the expression “live with them first and you’ll see how they really are” so maybe that’s how he really is. Being in a relationship you need to understand the others love languages and put effort into doing it even if it’s not your thing. He needs to do this. I’m the same way, my love languages are touch, affection and if I don’t get them I will start to panic thinking somethings wrong. Tell him you need more… how it was before. You need the talks, the sex, the affection, etc. it’s not fair for him to change like that then except you to not have any issues about it
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My SO has changed since we moved in together, what should I do?
I understand your frustration cause I am currently going through it. My husband gets up at 4:30 and he goes to sleep around 8 and that’s right when the girls go to sleep so we don’t get that much time together aline during the week but the weekends he definitely always makes it up to me. Maybe try talking to him and sitting down and talk about how you 2 can spend more time together.
Could you adjust your schedule to meet his? Maybe he’s just overwhelmed, it’s a lot going to a boyfriend to now living with you and your child.
Soooooo he wakes up at 430 to work his ass off and u want him to get less sleep???
1st mistake, was selling your house+stuff to move in with him.
Sounds like he got you hook line+sinker.
Your catch was a controlling narcissist.
It’s not going to get any better.
Only worse,red flags are out.
Sounds like the honeymoon phase wore off.
Y’all have only been living together one month and have alot going on. Give it time! Everything will all work out as it should!
Move out, don’t say anything, if he doesn’t want to communicate. Start looking for your own place. Just move out gradually.
You both are having to make life style adjustments. How about putting your daughter to bed half an hour earlier it’s find someone to take her overnight once a month so you can have alone time. Why does he have to initiate date night you are able to make plans. As far as selling your house you should have kept it and rented it out.
Its him but not in a bad way. He doesn’t have kids. He’s not used to everything. Give him time to adjust.
I think you are looking to deep into it life is stressful with kids sickness and just moving in and with how short you guys have been dating it’s probably just a little intimidating to him and plus what you described is kinda what married life is all about no date nights or time by yourself without kids my husband and I might get alone time like once every 3 months we have 4 kids and have one night without our kids once a year which is our anniversary but we love each other and make it work good luck
How well did you know him??? Just cuz he met your daughter doesn’t mean he’ll be nice to her… be careful for her safety! Hopefully the profit from the sale of your home wasn’t to pay his bills and you have something to count on if you need it. If no communication is willing in the relationship then you’re in trouble regardless of his bedtime hours or your personal needs…communication is the key to any relationship !
7 months is a very short time to get to know somebody properly especially when there is a child involved. You have been so used to being a single mum… your child is used to just both of you and the bf has probably never lived with somebody elses child before…BIG changes after 7 months! How did you find time to be together before moving in?? Maybe go back to that scenario 
honestly he’s getting 8 hours its not like he’s trying to go to bed at 430pm. maybe set a day/time once or twice a week so he’s not always sacrificing sleep because that will only lead to a grumpy man.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My SO has changed since we moved in together, what should I do?
So in essence, you sold your home and belongings and moved in with him after only dating 6 months?! In my opinion that’s way too fast. I’d definitely have this discussion with him ASAP. Maybe on one of his days off. Send kids to family or friends for a few hours and make your feelings heard.
You’ve rushed into it. You should still be in honey moon phase. Does your daughter spend time with her father or any other family members? maybe you could do alone time then.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My SO has changed since we moved in together, what should I do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My SO has changed since we moved in together, what should I do?
Is there any time when he gets home from work to have a short nap. Just so he can stay up a little longer. What about weekends. Does he stay up any later then.
My husband is retired but wakes early and goes to sleep early. Sometimes I go to bed and watch tv or read, iPad, just so I can have time with him. He does try and sleep in the afternoons so he can stay awake a bit longer, but not everyday.
It must be very frustrating for you.
It’s over…actually the true colors are out…
So that’s what you feel he isn’t bringing to the relationship. What about you? What are your short falls?
Perhaps don’t start the convo with an attack on him. The guy is working hard to provide for you and your daughter.
Christ sake, the man needs sleep!
And in all honesty, if it’s not working, don’t try and change him to suit you better, perhaps it’s just not the right fit
Before you moved in did he go to bed at 7? You sold your home. Why? If things don’t work out your uprooting your child again. 7 months and you move in??
I’m sorry but a couple of serious red flags went up while reading your post. “Since meeting my daughter he has been incredible” and he goes to bed when she does. Some men prey on single mothers to have access to children. I would be watching every move or get my daughter out of there (send to relative for awhile) and see how he reacts. Something doesn’t add up
How did you make things work before he moved in if he goes to bed that early?
The reality is things change when you live together. I imagine you’ve changed in his eyes too. Talk to him explain how you feel and if he doesn’t listen or make changes then you have the answer your looking for.
You sold your home & furniture after a 7 month relationship? 
Oh gosh. I wish you the best, but you already know the answer. Be upfront and honest with him about your thoughts and questions.
Honestly I don’t blame him for being in bed by 7 if he needs to be awake by 0430 to go to work. Maybe put your daughter to bed early one a week or so so that way you can go to bed with him and maybe reconnect that way (be it sex or just pillow talk) if not and you feel that strongly get a relationship counselors and give that a shot.
I don’t know what kind of work he does or if you even work, but it seems to me you have a hard working dependable man that you should appreciate, and you are being unreasonable. Why don’t you change your schedule? He needs sleep, be considerate and realistic about that. Honestly if you cant be understanding I’d be grumpy if I was him as well. If you didn’t change or be at the very least understanding I’d leave you.
Communication. Tell him your thoughts, and how you fear your relationship is deteriorating.
Things do tend to change when you live together but it’s about compromise I suppose my partner also works a lot of long hours he works self employed partly and wakes up to leave at 4 and gets in at around 7 but he still makes sure we have the evening together and will call me regularly when I’m at work checking in on me, it was our 6 years the other day and he didn’t get me anything which I was a little hurt at but I communicated this to him and he’s taking me out for breakfast and dinner tonight, it’s just about communication and compromise really and being open with how you feel worst thing you can do is bottle it, I think he should spend evenings with you though to go to bed at 7:30 is early as said my partner wakes up at 4 to commute 45 mins to his job and makes sure we have evenings together 
I’m sorry you are going through this. I really have no advice. You both are in a hard spot. Figure out what’s best for you and your daughter. Best wishes for all of you!!
Maybe you should get up earlier to spend time with him before he goes to work?
Why on every post here does someone put a laughing emoji
Most of the concerns here are very serious and making that person worried or unhappy…life gets shitty at some point for all of us… Let s just help if we can… Not laugh!!
Hes up very early id go into the room once you get daughter to bed have a little snuggle and chat with him then pop out the bed after bit let him sleep or once he’s feel asleep or just stay I’m the bed on your phone when my partner did that kind of shit that’s what I did then would go up 5 after his shower and had cuppa with him before he left then back to bed for hour before kids got up xx
I made a rule that I would never move in with anyone else while my kids were living at home with me, too many pedo’s pretending to be amazing step father’s, no thanks. But living in seperate homes is way better. Move out and have your own place and independants.
What is going on for him… You just wrote about what is going on for you but nothing about what is going on for him… What does he want? What is the compromise?
Try waking up at 4 with him. Do this for a few weeks and see if you are able to stay up late anymore. People think all you have to do is “just stay up later”. I imagine if he’s working around 5am, it’s also probably manual labor which makes you even more tired. 10+ hour days in the sun/heat. Get up with him, do some of his morning routine with him and he will be 1) incredibly grateful, and 2) have more time to spend with you (even if it’s in the mornings).
So… when you dated and so on, you did that always before 7pm? It is for sure very different to date than to live with each other. Maybe it’s been too big of a shock for him. Does he wanna continue at all? Or was it ”better when we had our own places”?
Good luck to you!
Should have not moved in with him. You should have had him live in your home. 7 months is not nearly enough time to really know eachother… You made a big mistake in my opinion
Stay on your own you were doing okay ,
Does this man really need 9 and half hours sleep?? 
Alagaan ko ang aking bahay at iba pang kagamitan para sa aking Anak, mabubuhay ako ng mapayapa sa aking bahay kasama ang anak ko hindi ang ibang tao!
Hes got what he wanted. You sold your stuff. Moved in. And now your dependant on him. You need to try and get out. Never sell your stuff and leave yourself and daughter with nothing. Have them move in with you. You need to get out before his anger turns to abuse. Asking people after a few month to go to relationship counselling is a bit of a worthless action. Been together a few months and this is needed. The relationship isn’t fixable. Why bother and waste time and money. The is no compromise. No Compassion. Just his needs and frustration. Its broken. Find a way to leave. And until you are 100% sure he is Mr right, don’t sell your stuff ot give up your home.
This is very bad, if you lose him you lost everything, it’s better to lose a lover, than being Homeless 
Time to call it quits
When you keep pulling and get no results, the only action left is push. Give him his space. Enjoy yours. He will see you happy without his attention and he will want to be the source of that again. You’ll be fine. You obviously aren’t used to living with someone. The trick is personal space.
Try to communicate try but if he wont talk . Please dont waste time . Life is short and to short for drama.
Should have never made such a commitment after only 7 months. That isn’t enough time to know anyone.
Only took 7 months for you give up everything you own to “love a man”. Being single for 9 yrs didnt teach you a thing obviously. I bet he reaped the benefits of you selling all your stuff didn’t he?? It’s all his way now. Welcome to living with narcissist. His needs come first. You’ll see more of that in due time.
Make sure your money is in a safe place and do not spend it.
Let him know that you’re scheduling couples counseling for the two of you. This will be your “us” time for now. If he’s not willing to work on the relationship With you, you may need to start making a plan to end it as amicably as possible. Good luck 
This is why you don’t move in with someone after dating for as little as 7 months. You guys don’t even know each other well enough to know if it will work out in the long run. He’s not as affectionate because your always together, men stop doing a lot of things when you move in together because your always together so they don’t see the need. You’ve been with him 7 months and sold all your things and property to move in with someone you didn’t know well enough to know it would work. I hope you don’t have joint bank accounts.
Moved in with my man 3 months later I got hell out…no way ever again…I called off engagement I cant do it…lost my hubby of 35 years to cancer no other man like him…love liveing alone.love him just cant live with him…no way in hell
Sounds like comfort. Everything changes ones you move in together. Real life sets in. Same happened with me and my hubs. But I like comfortable. Life will be stressful there will ups and downs. You have to love each other enough to work through the rough patches. If you can’t do that then you are doomed.
A. Your relationship was short as hell.
B. You shouldn’t have sold your home for someone you’ve been seeing for that short amount of time. 
It is very difficult in the beginning of moving in together to deal with each other’s little corks and personalities. But Both partners should be able to express their wants, needs and communicate without getting angry or fighting about it. I would ask for couples counseling and if he’s not willing to work on a healthy relationship then there are more important decisions to make then.
Maybe get a friend,family member,or babysitter once a week or two to three days a week for some alone time…Seems like he is just adjusting to people living with him and working a lot on top of it. Or look into daycare or preschool for daughter…
He love bombed you, then pulled the bait and switch. 
kick him out.
Have a plan sweetheart, be smart about it. I’m a blunt person so honestly I’d say the exact same thing to his face, Really let him know how you feel because at the end of the day who wants to live like that ?? If he’s not willing fix it and willing to lose you and your daughter then why bother if that’s how it’s gonna be 
I think moving in with him is too soon but what’s done is done. You gotta communicate and if he gets mad when you do then I think you have a decision to make. I was a single mother (of 3) for 7 yrs till I met my husband. We didn’t move in together till we got married. But I kinds had same issues with my husband and talk to him. Made him aware. He’s really trying now.
Good luck
If he gets mad at you for wanting spend more time together. He won’t ever change.
Get ur own place… and quick.
This is not going to end well for u and ur little girl.
People show the best parts of themselves in the beginning. Once u moved in he stopped trying to impress you. Personally I wouldn’t waste my time on him
Had a friend tell me once… “When a relationship is new you have good weeks and bad weeks. As it continues you have good months and bad months. And as it continues even further sometimes there are good years and bad years. You just have to decide if the person is worth the ups and downs.” After 17 years with my husband (9 married) I can’t think of anything more true. Good luck.
Yeah your seeing his True colors. It will Not Change. He will soon start Disrespecting you. You sold everything… Did you use it all within a month? Use what you have left of Your Sold Possessions and Rent A Place.
With seven months of relationship they are no longer having sex, they are not spending time alone, he gets angry when you talk to him and on top of that you sold your house to move into his, not even thinking about the future of your daughter, in seven months , I would recommend a good psychiatrist.
He’s probably stressed to the max after everything you’ve described. Hes most likely lost out on income due to being sick. Have a early family night were you two can sit on the couch, you can be together and be affectionate (holding hands whatever you need) with your kid there. Maybe when he doesn’t have to work the next day, your daughter can spend the night with family if that’s an option, so yall can have your alone time.
Instead of asking him to stay up later, which I’m sure he is exhausted from working all day try getting up with him at 4am instead of 430. His days off set some alone time aside. Sounds like he is a hard worker and that is important for a family to work. Good luck. Hope it all works out. My husband also goes to bed at 7 and gets up at 430. Works 60plus hours a week. Will be married for 20years this Sept. So find a meeting ground in the middle and never get mad at a man that works his butt off to take care of you.
My husband has a similar schedule. It sounds like your SO is working to help provide for you and your child. Personally I have respect for that. That is one way of showing you love someone. He opened his home to you and your child. Give it time. You all have to figure out your groove. Right now life in general is not normal.
Maybe on one of his off days we you have some sort of date night.
Welcome to reality. More often than not, this is how a man behaves after the deal is sealed. Go buy another house and move into it without him.
In the matter of a month your child was hospitalized for rsv, you got sick, then all 3 of you got covid and you are wondering why you havent been having time together. He is asking for 9 hours of rest while recovering from covid, I would say let the dude sleep. If someone was nagging me when I’m getting over a virus but still working I’d probably shut down too. Maybe your love languages are thode but doesnt mean those are his. Being in a relationship is about more than just meeting the other person’s needs, it’s a two way street. Dont move in with someone after 6 months, give up all your kids stability, then be ready to jump ship after a month. With all those viruses working their way through your house when would you plan a date night?
You sold your house snd moved in with a dude after 7 months?
Why don’t you wake up at 4:30 every morning with him and spend quality time with him when he’s getting ready? You are aware that if he wakes up at 4 AM, by 7PM the man has been awake for 15 hours. 12 of those are busting his ass at work. If YOU want quality time, YOU make quality time. You work around his schedule. You plan things for his days off. You find a sitter since you have an issue with having family time and want to “be alone”. You knew his work, sleep schedule months before you moved in with him. Did you think when you moved in, he was going to cut his hours back at work? Or magically not be tired after a 15 hour day? I have no sympathy for woman who slam their men for working hard and providing. You either blindly sold your home and possessions out of “infatuation” or you thought he was going to make major changes you never talked over with him, after you moved in. 
He’s showing true colors. He will get worse. Take your money and your child, and leave. Voice of bitter, bitter experience.
Most of these comments are negative and judgemental I feel. Nobody’s perfect we are all learning trying to do what’s best for us and sometimes we go with the heart choice instead of the logical one but that doesn’t make ANYONE on this comment thread better then anyone else. They’ve either never been with a hard working man or have major trust issues. Yeah it’s smart to be watchful of who is around your daughter but when I worked at that same time that’s the exact time I went to sleep and some people work great off of 5 hours and some need longer. Everyone is different. Someone sleeping longer than average doesn’t mean that don’t care about you but after I got covid my body didn’t fully recover for months and sleep was affected majorly. His time isn’t yours to choose. You expect things and get disappointed when they don’t happen. You might’ve made some quick decisions but in my case. My boyfriend works 15 average hours a day. Constantly picking up overtime and on top of that has a 6year old son full time. That he does absolutely everything for so he can have everything he wants. We live together and there will be days we have no alone time. We get up for work I come home get his son ready for the evening he gets home we have dinner and we all watch a movie and relax and then we go to sleep. Some days his son sleeps early and we watch Netflix some days he passes out when he puts his son to bed. Some days it’s like we barely spoke at all cause of work and then you get home exhausted and gotta have time for yourself. You have to have trust in your relationship. Trust that even in silence the love is there. You make best with what’s in your life. I don’t work till 9am but I wake up at 5 every day before they do so I can make them breakfast and get their days started. I want that extra time so I make it happen. We get 15 minutes or so where we all just wake up together and start our days don’t even talk just wake up and eat together I leave them little notes for their day and then I go back to sleep before work. 30 minutes doesn’t seem like much but that’s a lot to ask when you’ve been working all day and if they don’t give that extra time to you you’re unsatisfied leaves pressure on them when they are trying to provide. Do little things that bring you both together. I’ll set out my boyfriends clothes and sons clothes for work and school in the morning so he gets a extra few minutes to wake up. I’ll have his clothes ready with clean towels when he gets off so he can come home and relax easier. When a kid is involved that “alone time” isn’t a priority in my eyes. It’s important but your child’s happeniness and well being is what’s most important. You gotta be happy with yourself so when you aren’t the center of attention or your relationship isn’t you’re still okay and happy. You 3 have gone through a lot in just a month it takes while to adjust living with someone and creating that new space. Life’s too short to keep things in though you should be able to always communicate with your partner on how you feel but there is a right time for everything. Hope the best for you. Always a message away. 
Sounds like things may have moved a little too fast. How old is your daughter ? Did his attention start to turn toward her in any way that makes you uncomfortable ? It sounds as if you haven’t known him very long. My advice is that you need to be alert and most of all be honest with yourself for the sake of your daughter. We all make mistakes when it comes to matters of the heart and it’s important that we aren’t too naive. This is just my take on your post and I maybe way off. I truly hope so.
You’ve been single for 9 years then met a man and moved into his home within 7 months? Being single didn’t teach you very much. I would have thought you would have held on to your house just in case things got rocky…which they have. When did you have time to fall in love if he’s at work so early in goes to bed so early?
I would make sure to have the conversation with him on exactly word for word how your feeling to make sure you’re being heard and he knows how it’s affecting you. Communication is key
wake up with him! make breakfast, or even just coffee 
maybe join him when he goes to bed, is there anything he likes that helps him sleep? you could enjoy a cup of herbal tea together, or even just snuggle 
My fiance did the same thing when we moved in together. I think it’s the fact that we’re comfortable enough to just be ourselves and our relationship changed because of it.
Basically, don’t try to change him at all. He’s gonna be himself regardless, if it doesn’t work out GTFO of there, it’s that simple. People change, and that’s okay.
Stop living together until you’ve been dating for a year. It’s not easier, you’re asking for greef.
Ask him to move out.an tell him it’s not working out.an it’s not him it’s you.You Just need time to find your self.an work on you.lol…all Love is something you have to work on the bad go.s with the good.but if you’re not happy MOVE On…JA Lov ya cus… good luck…
Try putting the kid to sleep 30 min earlier for the one time talk. The chase is gone for him.
i think a lot has to do with tolerance between partners …
I would be thinking you sold your house what if in the future you need to buy another if it doesn’t work out? House prices continue to rise
Should never have moved in with him. You have to move out or suggest it see his reaction 
Nine and a half hours is an awfully long time to sleep!!!
Time to leave sweaty, its not true forever love
Ahy??? Did you sell your house and furniture.now you have no where to go.
You should have kept your stuff.
Sohnds.like you need to ask a relatuve, frjen, neighbour to sit with your daughter to schedule.some time alone. Ti talk, no sex, clear the air first and find out what is going on. Could be something silly or he’s having secknd thoughts. Listen to your intuition,.always…
You say that you’re used to being alone and that being single was easier,but now you’re having problems because he isn’t meeting your needs…the man won’t have sex with you?..why are you there? And you sold your home and all your furniture to move in with someone who won’t touch you…ridiculous…seems he bit off more than he could chew…stop pressuring him, back off, do things you like to do, be with your daughter, etc, etc, if he doesn’t change and meet your needs, time to recover what you lost and move out.
What kind of hours were you keeping when you were dating him? It seems like now he’s got you he doesn’t really have to put any more effort into the relationship and that really sucks
Better off alone, I’ve never been happier
Talk to him. Communication is key. If you can’t work things out, walk away and cut your losses and learn from your mistakes.
Maybe tell him this…?