I’m almost 11 weeks pregnant and had my first appointment today… my SO couldn’t attend the appointment due to work… he’s now making me feel guilty because I had a sono and he wasn’t there to see it… telling me I should’ve just asked them not to do a sono. Am i wrong for wanting to know how our baby is doing? I feel like that’s something any good mother would want to know
Does he realize you can’t skip those and it’s hard to reschedule…Also necessary to make sure the baby looks good.
Sounds like he cares more about himself than the health of his unborn child. They do a Sono to check the baby not to do show and tell
Depending where you are, you could have scheduled for it in a day off.
It’s really important for them to do them at certain times to track the babies progress it really stinks when dad can’t always get off work to be there, maybe is there a place that has weekends or later hours for future sonograms ? My SO was only able to attend some of them due to work also. But we found a place that did them on saturdays so I started booking them there
I’m concerned that he’s applying this kind of pressure already. If he needs to be there so badly, and it’s not a bad thing to want to then he needs to find a way. Has he talked this way to you in the past?
You can’t always schedule your ultrasounds or sonograms around your spouses work schedule. You are only 11 weeks so you will have many more.
You’re not wrong. He’s being an ass.
Uh just because he missed doesn’t mean y’all both should… sounds kinda childish mindset to me. Not mention the first ultrasound is essential to make sure baby is where they should be, growing as they should and date the pregnancy…
He should have got it off work if hes so bothered you cant miss those type of appointments
I always recorded it on my phone whenever he wasn’t able to come
He needs to grow up…
Screw that! He’s more worried about himself than your baby! Try next time to schedule when he can be there. But dont let him slo that to you. Baby it’s more important than his ego!
It sounds to me like he’s an immature big baby and needs to grow up! There will be more sonograms tell him he can come to the next one! You better shape him up quick before the baby is born or you will he raising two babies. I’m sorry I don’t mean to sound harsh. You did nothing wrong. There was no reason for you not to do what your doctor required and for him to suggest you don’t listen to your doctor is disturbing! Good luck to you! And prayers for a healthy and easy pregnancy!
I didn’t get a choice when mine where done. I had one each visit for the first couple months. The one time I took my family they didn’t do one at all… so they atleast let them listen to her heartbeat.
Reassure him that there will be plenty more sonograms
You are going to have to get the medical care you need whether he is there or not. This is not the last time baby’s needs will come before wants.
Did he know about the prenatal appointment ahead of time?
If so then he needs to shut up and plan better NEXT time.
If he did not, then maybe it should have waited a week or two.
I can see why hes upset because it was your first sono. But on the other hand he shouldnt be making you feel guilty. I scheduled mine on a day where my SO could be there. Just make sure he is at the one where you find out the gender if you are finding out. Just tell him that he is making you feel guilty. Maybe its just him lashing out and he doesnt know hes doing it.
If you’re 11 weeks and its your first appointment tell him they needed to make sure of the due date and the size of the baby! It’s not like he missed anything important. Tell him he can go to your next ultrasound appointment which you’ll find out the gender!
I would have scheduled it for when we could both be at the appointment. Me and my husband went to every appointment together for all of our kids. We just made sure to schedule the appointments on days off from work or before or after work. It’s a bonding experience and not something he wanted to miss.
Sounds like he doesn’t understand what the sonogram is for. Explain to him that it’s not just for seeing the baby; it’s for making sure baby is healthy and growing normally.
Red flag sounds like gaslighting to me
How old is this boy? Because he sure as hell ain’t no man hunny. Throw the whole baby daddy away and get a new one.
O.o you dont get to pick they schedule your appt . Hes being a man child. Could pay for one in couple of weeks.
All of you man hating make me so mad. Listen, there are good fathers who want to be involved with every step of the way. that should be celebrated! My husband only missed one appointment of mine and that was for 2 separate pregnancies. Include him and try to schedule appointments when he can come.
Are we really babying people now? I feel like I say “He needs to grow up” a lot to these questions.
its not about him or you its about how the baby is and checking if its healthly,.
Just showed my husband this post and he agrees. He’s definitely being an ass.
He feels left out I’m sure. He’s doing it the wrong way but just keep him included
My ex was unable to go to any of our daughters due to work. I would either video chat him during it or make a video and send it to him. Maybe give him advance notice and he can come to the next one if you have one. Unfortunately he seems to have to growup. Babys needs come before parenta
What an immature response. There’s wanting to be involved, and then there’s just petty. You absolutely shouldn’t have turned down the sonogram, as you have every right to know how baby is doing. He wasn’t there. You were. He needs to give his head a shake.
Alot of people talking shit about this guy. Maybe she’s just hormonal and took it worse than it was. Or maybe he’s genuinely upset, if it’s his first child he has a right to be upset about missing important stuff. Just try to plan together for the next one where you can both be there.
I would’ve try to reschedule but as long as he knew ahead of time to ask off I wouldn’t feel guilty
Children having children
Well that’s selfish as fuck. He should’ve made time for it if it was that important. You’re pregnancy surely isnt going to wait for him and thats a fact!
If that asshole wanted to be there, he should have been there. The end.
It isn’t your fault if he didn’t get off work to go. You shouldn’t have had to reschedule.
He shouldn’t be making you feel guilty. That isn’t your fault that he couldn’t attend. You’ll have another and there are 3d scans you can get done.
Caution: red flags ahead.
Sounds controlling & manipulative to me!
Oh my lord not everything is gaslighting and controlling he wants to be there for his child. Hes excited and wants to know. She could have easily asked to wait til next time so they could both see. Yall need to chill with this red flag bs
No, you should not feel bad. Just try next time to schedule and let him know so he can ask off work. When my fiancé couldn’t get off work I would video it and show him later.
Omg, he needs to grow up. Next time go on his day off to avoid conflict
I made all my appointments around my husbands work schedule.
Firstly you are not at fault. As things are changing in your body you feel it, you r beggining to connect already with your bubs. He will not get any of that really till he sees the kid. Just nature. Sometimes bots just feel left out. It isn’t controlling but kinda sweet. You need to look after y and bubs first, he will get that but every now and then include him in good things and U will be amazed by results.
If he couldn’t take the time off for it then it’s his fault he missed out on it.
Tell him to grow up. It wasn’t about him or you. The doctor wanted it done, it got done. As long as baby is ok, it’s all good. Tell him well in advance of the next one so he can come.
You’ll get another at 20 weeks. So schedule that one with his work. It’s kind of the better sonogram anyway. Baby is formed and you get to know the sex!
Should have taken the time off work if it really meant that much. However he may have realised after the fact how important it was.
Not your fault, tell him to get over it and be there next time
Sound like a devoted dad to me you should have made it around his schedule so you could both go. Your using “ being a good mother” to cover the fact you cared less if he couldn’t see
Try to make appointments we he can go,to give him advance notice.But no you’re right to want to check on the baby.He he can’t go next time then that’s on him.He also shouldn’t be giving you trouble.That’s not good for you,or baby.
My husband had to miss our sono due to work, he was bummed about it but didn’t go out of his way to make me feel bad. I think your man just really wanted to be there and is taking it out on you. You’re not in the wrong at all, and honestly when the baby is here he isn’t gonna still be bitter about not being at the 11 week sono. You’re also gonna have your 20 week sono which will be so exciting too because the baby is much bigger then. If I were you I would just let him vent, and get him excited about your 20 week sono and finding out the gender. When you schedule it try to do it when he can be there (which I’m sure you will since he had been giving you a hard time). Sorry he’s making you feel bad! Congrats on your baby!
Lol my husband never went to any of my sonos because of work, but he cant be mad you wanted to check on the baby
You can always schedule another one
Just telll him you were so disappointed that he couldn’t be there and ask him what he has to do so you can be sure he can make it to the next one and no you weren’t wrong to have the sonogram today.
You dont get to tell the doctor what they can and can’t do. You could’ve picked a different day. Not all the blame should be on the father. Grow up. God some women make it all about them. Plus it was your first. It looks like a dot. there will be PLENTY more.
Note to self never ask for advice on here concerning a baby daddy or husband. They will wreck your relationship with their advice please listen to me on this, they will wreck your relationship with him!
Slap the fuckin dogshit out of him. Because that is bullshit. HE failed to take time off work. Your DOCTOR decides when to do a sonogram. Because I have asked at 2 appts (I’m 25 weeks along) and they only do them on certian appts. No you should not feel bad. Half of you bitching at her need to be slapped too-- he’s being a fucking crybaby about it. I get it, you don’t wanna miss the first sonogram. But tell him to pull his head out of his ass and that he needs to get hip to making sure he can be there. If he wants to keep whining, then you better go ahead and diaper him up too. Ridiculous childish shit.
You are not wrong but most of you other woman need to not be so judgy , my husband has missed both of my first ultrasounds and it really hurt him because he wanted to be there with our first he had to work but didnt realize his boss was going to be pissed because he didnt ask to go and with our second my doctor couldnt find a heart beat at first with the doppler so it was not a planned ultrasound at my first appointment. You need to just explain to him there will be more and you will have more of a notice next time and he needs to make sure to put in for it when it come to work even if it’s just for a couple of hours not a full day off or you ask your doctor scheduler for time around if possible . But please remember unlike most of these woman are saying he is apart of this baby and if it’s his first of course he doesnt want to miss anything.
Tell him to get over it . This is not the only sonogram you will have and at 12 weeks there really isn’t a whole lot to see. He was doing something so much more important by providing for his family. He was being a great dad.
Sounds pretty immature and petty. Tell him to grow tf up.
No because he should have requested that day off that is not your fault he did not attend your doctor’s appointment
REAL FATHERS SHOULD BE INCLUDED. Forget these bitter comments on here. Include him next time.
You need to know if your baby is healthy if it was that important to him he would have made time. Tell him to grow up
Omg tell him grow the fk up. Go to next one gee.
Be greatful to have someone who would like to participate in those things and make more of an effort in the future to schedule your appointment at a better time for him
I mean there will be a lot more. What’s the big deal? Just let him know ahead of time when the next appointment is.
It’s not really your choice when they do them in when they don’t do them
Okay, look. He’d know in advance about the appointment. If it meant that much to him, he should’ve taken time off. My husband schedules the appointments for our baby with me so he doesn’t miss them. If he’s not there and I make the appointment, he moves stuff around at work, so he can go. And trust me, that’s asking a lot because work is work and for him, he absolutely cannot miss. But he works his ass off to make sure he’s involved and is there for baby.
You’re a great mom and its important to know how baby is doing. He’s just upset that he missed it and is taking it out on you, which isn’t okay. For your ultrasound (gender) make sure he knows when that is and takes time off for that one.
its a medically necessarily sonogram it isn’t like you had them do it for the heck of it. it needs to be done to prove a viable healthy pregnancy.
Awh. I’m sure he’s sad he couldn’t go! This is a really exciting chapter in your lives . Make sure you set the anatomy appt where he will be able to go. Poor daddy…
Tell him suck it up give him the picture he could have called out
And he can go next time
You are not wrong. He’s just guilt tripping because deep down he feels like shit for not being there. Have yourself a lovely quiet day ignoring him. Congrats on your bundle❤
There was times when my husband could attend and some where he couldn’t and that’s ok. No need to get upset.
they really get more interesting later anyway.
No it’s not your fault the Dr needs to see what’s going on too and it’s for the baby’s safety to get one b4 12 weeks incase something’s wrong they can give the abortion option. Stroke his male ego even if you have to roll your eyes
He should feel guilty not taking the time off. Which honestly is probably why he’s doing this to you. He’s trying to alleviate his guilt by blaming you. Not good for you.
My partner made it to every sono with our 1st, with our 2md he had a different job and it wasn’t possible. He was guttered but he also knewbitnwas important and we also paid for the extra 3D scan to determine gender that he booked so we knew he could be there.
It’s kind of a must to make sure there’s a baby lol maybe he should take the day off next time.
Some of the questions on here…
“Am I wrong for wanting to know how our baby is doing?” Could be a way better question like " how do u make this dick-head realise he is such a giant man baby and make him improve himself"?
You don’t get to just say I am sorry but right now isn’t a good time ya think maybe y’all can do it when my SO and I both have the time? Ya right! And the first sono is very important especially to check for a ectopic pregnancy which is highly dangerous and life threatening. So usually they don’t postpone sonograms especially the 1st. And at 11 weeks the baby on a sonogram is very tiny and doesn’t quite look like a baby yet. He will be able to go to plenty more of them and shouldn’t be making you feel bad. I understand his disappointment but he needs to suck it up. He can go to the next one which is way more fun and exciting because the baby looks more like a baby.
My SO wasn’t with me when I found the gender out due to him having to work…we was both upset bout it but we both understood why he couldn’t be there! He is immature if you ask me bout this hole thing
It’s probably more of a he was bummed he wasn’t there. And over reacted just chalk it up to nothing
Sounds like you’ll soon have 2 babies. The one you are carrying and your SO who likes to whine and cry. You’re gonna have your hands full.
Try to schedule the next one when your husband can go. Sometimes you can go on a weekend
He’s a selfish little shit. You should ignore doctors orders which is why you had a sonogram but he couldn’t call out or request time off? He’s immature. Don’t feel bad he should have made other arrangements.
You’ll have another one soon. It really doesn’t matter AND it was the doctors decision. That’s pretty damn selfish of him honestly. Check on baby vs wait for daddy to be able to be there. Lol this baby is about to rock his world.
I get where you both are coming from. He needs to understand that they’d have done one regardless of a request to wait. Do not at all feel bad about it. He can go the next time .
What a fucking baby. Tell him to suck it up buttercup!
Maybe he should have taken time off and turned up, you can’t wait for him to be ready, they happen when they happen.
He’s in for a reality check. It’s not about him anymore
Some insurance companies require a sonogram as proof of pregnancy
He sounds like a bitch
I mean it’s not like the baby is going to disappear. Would be a different story if you went to check the gender without him
My husband missed all but the one when you find out the gender due to work
Im not sure your husband understands you can’t tell them NOT to do one. But you had to of known you were getting one you couldve made it for a later time? Try to find a happy medium for you both next time, schedule around work times even just a lunch break! The biggest one is the 20 week one anyways! Tell him to pre-plan!!
I see where he is coming from. He just feels like he missed out. But I also understand why you was excited to get a sonogram. Just Tell him your sorry you hurt his feelings, but you just wanted to make sure the baby is okay
If this is how your relationship already is, I’d consider counseling because nobody should be getting mad at you for attending a dr appt and him being an adult and working.
Tell him it’s called life. Shit happens and not everything is fair🤷🏼♀️ you had a dr appt while he had to work, wow how disrespectful🙄 sheesh it’s sometimes how things work. I went to my dr appt last week by myself without my husband. It happens.
You will have a lot more and he can just get over it. It sucks he couldn’t go but its not your fault. And checking on the baby is necessary