tell him the truth, do not lie… Lies always come out in the end. Then he would be hurt even more and not trust you.
Maybe he does belong to your husband. If not, and questions arise I would be honest. He is old enough to understand and respect you and your husband his DAD for raising him regardless of the potential circumstances. You could have aborted him because of that and you chose not to and your husband chose to love him whether or not he was is to the point that he didn’t even care to know for sure.
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It’s definitely going to show him
Honesty is always the best policy! DNA tests tell a lot. Especially who he is related to.
Do not lie . Saying you cheated would make him look at you differently. Be honest .
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I wouldn’t say anything in my opinion, but if it comes about I would not lie to cover it up.
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It’ll hurt but telling him the truth will rip a bandaid off rather then telling another lie and he looks for this man and finds out the truth… I wish you luck nd God bless
DO NOT LIE TO HIM! That will make matters worse when he finds out the truth after your lie. When he comes to you for answers be honest. Be prepared to offer to go to therapy with him.
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What if the DNA test shows your husband is not your son’s father? Would you want him contacting and having a relationship with the man who assaulted you? If your son thinks it is someone you dated or cheated with, he would possibly feel comfortable contacting him. If your husband is not the father, you need to tell your son the truth.
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well u better tell him the truth now lol
Tell him before he has to find out from the dna test
I’m so sorry all around
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Tell him the truth! If you don’t tell him the truth, What if he finds out that he has another father and chooses to see him? If you tell him he probably won’t press the issue knowing what happen to you! Really no one knows what he’ll do but lies ALWAYS ALWAYS come out in the end and they are never good endings! Good Luck
Tell him the truth. If u lie 2 him and he finds out the truth then it’s only gonna hurt him even more. Be honest with him. It might not be tomorrow It could be in 5 years but the truth will always come out. It’s better 2 be honest from the beginning than him find the truth within a lie.
I have a family member whom was conceived due to an assault, his grandparents raised him due to him bio mum being handicap and unable to do so. He was told the truth once he was old enough, it’s really was a hard pill to swallow but through time he managed to move on.
If he’s done the dna then you’d be better telling the truth as it could lead him towards the man and his family that assaulted you all those years ago.
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I would be honest. You and your husband ….his “dad” will always be the support system. May not be a bad idea to try counseling for the both of you. 
Never lie to your kids
Do NOT lie to him any further! Just tell him the truth. He has a right to know.
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Don’t lie. That will make everything worse. And I’m sorry but everything comes to light eventually it would be better if you told him the truth IF he asks otherwise I don’t think it’s something he absolutely needs to know.
I would tell him before those results come back
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The truth.
You both loved him enough to bring him into the world and look after him no matter what. That your husband is his dad. But the donator of the sperm against your will was just that and together you obviously made a very empathetic beautiful human.
Lies hurt our souls. The liar and the one affected. Although it was for good intentions. I think it’s time to talk to him gently about it.
he may still be a product of your husband anyway. But the truth shall set you all free
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do not lie to him because the truth always comes out and then he will resent you for it
If it comes out that he isn’t your husband’s, you have to tell him the truth. You wouldn’t want him trying to contact members of his bio father’s family under false pretense, that would be even worse. The truth is always better.
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I’ve been through this with my daughter if you want to pm me xxx
First- let me say you are a strong and amazing couple. You choose a path that many wouldn’t and your spouse was a man of honor. I don’t know what direction would be best honestly. But when it does come out, I would make sure you are both there and remind him that he was loved beyond measure.
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Always be honest even if it hurts.
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i would sit him down and explain what happened and i can’t stress this enough it is NOT your fault what happened happened and i’m so terribly sorry it happened to you i hope whoever assaulted you went to jail for a very long time your husband sounds like the best kind of man and i would ask him to sit down with you and your son and gently explain but also if y’all are (for lack of a better phrase) over it and not letting it hold y’all back from giving your son all the love and care he deserves then it shouldn’t really change anything but maybe your son will be more protective of you and be like me and not let you go anywhere alone just in case you need back up i hope this doesn’t cause any big waves in your family you sound like you have a great relationship with your husband and son and i hope your son doesn’t carry any guilt for any reason (in svu benson is the product of rape as well and her mother didn’t treat her good and benson carried guilt for a lot of things) i hope all is well for your family god bless:sparkling_heart:
Dont lie tell him. My mom was assaulted and the result is me. I learned thia when I was around 15. I am not going to lie it hurt but I am so happy she kept me and told me the truth.
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Just tell him before the results come in. It will be tough but you can do it. Our kids are tougher than we know. It won’t change who his “dad” is. Just let him know you love him
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You need to be honest… lies have a way of sooner or later biting us in the ass!!! I have a close childhood friend with incredible parents and they too kept a secret like yours which came to light at a very dark and scary time in all our lives. When we were 19 she was diagnosed with cancer and when it came time for the family to get tested for a match they had to sit her down (the hospital did provide a therapist) and tell her. Yes she was mad and hurt but eventually she came to understand that her dad was her dad, and your son will too, period!!! Btw my friend kicked cancers ass
I would be honest with him
I would sit him and down tell him the truth but that it dosnt matter to you or his father you love him how you always have and then let him decided if he wants to see the results he might decide it dosent matter he knows who he is .
Never lie tell the truth
Why on earth would u tell him u cheated? That would make u look bad and hed pry hold resentment towards you forever. Tell him the truth that shouldve already been known to him
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I would tell him the truth.
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I would tell him. I found out at 17 I was adopted and it really messed me up. You need to be upfront and honest with him. Just let him know that you still love him no matter what
Just say the truth. Dont cover a lie with a lie. You will only hurt him more. Maybe he’ll thank you.
Out of something not good, came the most precious gift, that gift, being your son. The both of you (you and your husband) need to sit down and have the talk with him at the same time. Remember when you tell him, make sure he knows!!! That when the two of you look at him you see the most beautiful precious gift human beings blessed with. The love of a child heals wounds. If you make sure he knows all of this, he will be ok, hurt but ok
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I would wait if it comes out he is then great say nothing only tell him if it comes about
The truth might hurt but I think less hurt the most so tell the truth
Tell him the truth if the result comes out and he asks. Convince him of your love for him and do not see him as any persons aside you two.
Finally, please don’t tell him the identity of his father. Tell him you didn’t know the person no matter what before he thinks of committing murder.
Be honest with him. Tell him the whole truth. I would tell him before he gets his dna results. The truth always come to light. Don’t make it worse with another cover story. I don’t know what your spiritual belief is, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Your son was meant to be born and you were meant to be his mother. None of it was your fault or his. It’s important he know that. And how much you and his dad love him. He may be angry at first, but that’s ok. Give him time to digest it. He is old enough to understand. God bless you and guide you through this.
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Tell him the truth, lying to him would be more hurtful to him.
Never lie! Honesty is the only way to go… definitely do not tell him you cheated. You and your husband need to just sit down and tell him together! You got this momma. Prayers and virtual hugs sent your way
I don’t have any advice but I’m so sorry. This is such a tough situation. Honestly, I wouldn’t lie (telling him you cheated), because then he my start to blame you, adding for stress to an already impossible situation. I would be honest even if it hurts. He will probably be shocked and confused, but he will know that his dad never cared what DNA said, HE is his dad. And that you’re not to blame at all. Good luck with whatever you decide 
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Do not lie to him about it. You lying will tear him up even more.
It’s better to hurt him with the truth than comfort him with lies…
Lying would make it worse
Be honest…no matter how painful at first it is it will be better in the long run and why paint yourself as a the bad person and change how he could potentially feel about you when you’re showing him the story of love and strength with you and his father?
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He is well old enough for the truth. Dna test or not, he is still your husbands son as he is loved and raised by him.
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How can we as parents expect our children to tell us the truth if we ourselves dont tell them the truth! I’d say your son is mature enough to know and handle the truth and it is something you and his dad need to sit him down and talk to him about tell him the truth and also let him know that you and his dad love him.
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Honesty is the best policy
I would tell the truth. If you say you cheated he may be interested in searching out “the real dad” to make a bond with him and I’m sure it would be a million times worse if he found after that.
Tell him the truth he has the right to know
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He probably knows now since you posted it on the internet where the world can see.
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From the story it sounds like you don’t know which is the dad. Maybe it will come back that his dad is in fact his father. If it doesn’t then I would tell him the truth. He deserves to know. And I wouldn’t say you cheated. I would tell the truth, that was not your fault. You were the victim. Don’t put that hate on you that should be put on your attacker.
Best wishes
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I’m sorry that happened to you. However, don’t lie to him. Tell him the truth. He deserves that after all this time and it also gives you answers as well.
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That’s a hard one. Do what you think is best for your child. Idk about lying because that can cause resentment and harsh feelings toward you and that’s not fair for you or your son.
If it comes out tell him the truth do not lie say you cheated 
sorry you had to go threw that! Xxxxxx
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I would tell the truth, that you were very young and someone took advantage of you, maybe keeping any violent or heart-breaking details out of the explanation. That this bio dad was never worth being apart of your life or your son’s, but that your son is absolutely nothing like him. I’d tell him along side your husband, and a therapist, if possible.
Best of luck, hun – you are an extremely strong woman and your husband sounds like an amazing man. 
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I think you should be honest with him. I’d appreciate honesty rather than someone trying to spare my feelings. If this scab gets reopened it would be worse to still have to go through things you thought you healed from and were already past. As long as he knows. I would tell him together, allow him time to process and see if further help is needed. Therapy, support groups, etc.
Don’t ruin the image of his mama by saying you cheated! Be honest if he has questions.
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Explain the situation to him before he gets the results and goes looking for his bio dad.
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But there might not be any need for any of this because your husband might be his biological father, right? I would wait for the ancestry results. If, at that time, your son comes to you then tell him the truth - that his dad loved him so much even before he was born, that he didn’t care about a DNA test.
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Might be the perfect time to tell him…he’s mature enough to learn the truth. Its not yours or his fault for what happened to you. Therapy may help you all to heal if it comes out he’s the only ray of sunshine that came out of something so dark and horrific. I’m sure many emotions will be brought to surface. Virtual hugs to you! 
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I would definitely tell him the truth. He’s an adult.
I’m sorry you had to go through that but do not lie to him. Saying you cheated and that’s how he was conceived might make him hate you. Just be honest, while it will be hard, at the end of the day, telling the truth is the best thing you can do.
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You and your husband should sit down together with him and explain things to him. BEFORE his results come back so that he is not shocked if the man who raised him isn’t his father and him possibly be angry at you thinking you lied or was unfaithful to his dad. If you lie to him and say you cheated he may want to reach out and try to find his “bio” dad which would be worse as he would br contacting a rapist if the man is still alive. The truth is ALWAYS the way to go with your children ni matter how hard it is.
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Be honest, don’t lie.
My mom still hides the truth to me and I’m 24 . All I want is the truth . We deserve that . We deserve a peace of mind . I really feel like it would make you closer . Be there for him and it will help . Mistakes happen . I would be just so happy if she would tell me the truth
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I would NOT lie! I would tell him GENTLY that his dad is still his Dad. You can tell him he wasn’t planned and the circumstances weren’t good but you loved him and knew you wanted to keep him. You can tell him you didn’t want to tell him because you have no contact with that man and have separated yourself from him to protect you. If he is as experienced with the matter as you say (due to his friends) he will understand. It’s never easy to hear but it’s better than a lie!
I would tell him the truth, I mean it happened and make sure he understands that you love him no matter what. It’s the really real world out there and I’m sure he’ll understand that these things happen and his dad is HIS dad, the one who was there, which matters more than DNA.
The truth shall set you free… If you don’t he will probably go looking to make a connection with the man who assaulted you. It will absolutely connect him with the family if that is his biological father. I knew about family secrets before I took one, but it still was crazy for me to see the truth through AncestryDNA…
Every child has the right to know their parentage. It’s not fair to him to lie. It’s definitely going to cause more problems than had you told him earlier. Tell him before his heart gets shattered by finding out from a DNA test
Start with the truth and he may decide he doesn’t want to know either. Possibly even bring you even closer.
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As someone who experienced this as well. Well my daughter found out last year at 12 years old. She found out by someone running their mouth that shouldn’t have. No I didn’t plan on keeping it from her but I didn’t plan on her finding out so young. Well after it came out we both cried together and she was kinda relieved knowing. I was as well. Just sit down and tell him. Keeping it secret will drive you nuts and hurt him.
I’m so sorry you’re in this position. If it were me I wouldn’t lie to my kid. As hard as telling the truth is sometimes, it’s what’s best. If you lie, even for his sake, and he somehow finds out the truth it will hurt him even worse. I would sit him down with his father and explain it to him. Be completely honest. I bet he will love and respect you even more. 
best of luck to you momma I hope this is resolved as easily as possible for you and your family and I hope whoever assaulted you burns in hell
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This is such a sad situation and my heart is breaking for you. I have zero advice as I would not know what to do if I was in your position. I hope you find all the answers you need
I feel more concern for you! This must be bringing back so many horrible memories and feelings. Did you ever get professional help? You could call your local rape crisis center for a referral . It sounds like your husband has been supportive but you may benefit from talking to a trained counselor, who could also coach you about how to talk to your son.
Maybe approach the situation softly with him, you and hubby seem to have a very strong bond! So maybe do it together?? You’re son may be a mixture of emotions to start, but I guess it’s about being tactical? Really hope you can resolve this amicably
He’s 24 not 14, he could probably handle the truth better than you’d think. If you lie… you may push him away. The truth is always the best way to go.
He needs to know the truth momma but how will he handle it? If hes gently stable I suggest you a d dad talk to him but if you have concerns about his mental stability then thread carefully
From personal experience the truth is best I lied to someone because the truth was more hurtful I thought the lie would save the other persons feelings and it was more hurtful to lie truth is always best
Maybe go to family counseling and talk about it. I would think if you told him you cheated, next step would be him searching the globe for his “real” dad probably. And what if he found the man that did that to you and then found out real truth. I’d definitely stick with truth
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I would definitely NOT lie to him. If he finds something out telling the truth is always the best… if he doesn’t suspect anything ID continue to keep it between your hubby and you until u find the right moment?? but I wouldn’t keep it a secret for life. He eventually need to know the truth and know regardless of that he was still loved and still was blessed with a loving father figure.
Tell the truth now! You already lied. If he catches you lying twice about it it might hurt so bad that he won’t trust either of you ever! He should have been told when he was able to understand the circumstances! When I was a baby one of my brothers was adopted out to my Aunt & Uncle and I thought he was my cousin for yrs. Big mouths in the FAMILY let it out and I found out he was my brother. I missed some time but always knew something was wierd about all that, The FAMILY also say the man that raised me wasn’t my Father! 63 yrs later I still wonder about it! To me He was and even now I BELIEVE he is MY FATHER (DADDY) and I’ve been missing him since January 17 1996😥
Why would you make the situation worse for yourself by making up a damaging lie? He will look at you different for it. If you tell him the truth he will see the value of being loved by choice by the man who raised him.
Tell him the truth. There is no reason to be ashamed or to lie. He has a father and that is what matters.
Be honest because he’ll resent you if you make yourself to blame. If you lie to cover another lie and it comes to light he’ll just be more mad.
Honesty is always best. Maybe you could go to a therapist and discuss the best way to tell him and reveal in a session. That way there’s a professional he can process this info with. And im sorry you were assaulted!
He might want to find his real dad and that would cause more issues since you were raped. It’s good to tell him the truth. It’ll definitely hurt but it’ll be better in the long run
Be honest and truthful. The truth will always find a way to come out in the end
I feel like your son may lose respect for you if you tell him you cheated on his father and that’s how he was conceived. My situation is nothing close to yours, but my father was/is a deadbeat. My mom married my step-dad when I was 8 and he’s the father I’ve known for the last 30 years. Your husband IS his father, regardless of DNA. Above all else, be honest with your son if he comes to you with questions. At this point, you have two options, you can be honest with your son now, before he may find out on his own and ask if he wants to have a paternity test done with his dad. Or, you can wait and see if he comes to you with questions and go from there. Whatever the outcome, BE HONEST with him.
I wouldn’t lie to him. I know you want to protect him, but lying could cause more harm than good. I would tell him the truth before the ancestry results come back.
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He might be your husband’s biological son. You don’t know for sure because you never did a DNA test. I wouldn’t worry until you have to. If it turns out he’s not his then I would tell him the truth so he doesn’t go looking for a relationship with your attacker. Always be honest with your kids.
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I would tell him if he asks!
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Do not say anything unless he asks. And his dad will always be his dad even if it comes out that they’re not related
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You are already a survivor of assault, don’t lie on yourself and make yourself look bad by saying you cheated. You and your husband should tell him the truth, maybe look into family counseling if you think it will help. I’m sorry you’ve had to carry this with you all of these years 
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100% truth. You are a victim and he did nothing wrong.
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Honesty is the best policy. You guys raised him with so much love, he will be heart broken, but also will be grateful for you guys loving him and giving him a great life.