I’d say be honest. It’ll be hard for you all but he deserves the truth
It’s entirely possible that he is his and it won’t even be a thing you need to worry about anymore. BUT if he does come to you he needs to know the truth so he doesn’t go looking for him. Imagine him finding his bio dad only to find that out after. Don’t put yourself or your family through that.
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Don’t lie to him again, he deserves the truth.
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I wouldn’t lie. That will spiral into a bigger problem, he would resent you endlessly. I know you’d rather him resent you than feel ashamed of his own self for being the product of that horrible event but lying would create a bigger mess. I would be honest. And remind him just how much you and your husband love him, and that your husband, the man he knows as a dad is the only dad he’ll ever need. It may be a bit traumatic if a conversation, so counseling may be beneficial for all. Hugs, mama.
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He will not appreciate you lying any further to him. That’s would probably “destroy” him more.
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Please don’t lie to him tell him the truth
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If he asks, tell him. But tell him the truth.
I would be more hurt that my mom thought she had to lie to me.
Maybe this will make him even stronger. Knowing what you had gone through to make him the man he is today.
Don’t understand estimate him. You raised him.
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The test will definitely reveal the truth. It’s best if it comes from you first. Put yourself in his shoes, wouldn’t you rather know from your parent. And your husband is his dad no matter what the test says. He is the one who has been there for him.
Do not tell him!! That happened to me. My mom told me years later and now I have to live with it! Not good at all. This will only hurt your son with the ugly truth.
Be honest, he deserves to know if he asks.
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Be honest. Your son will appreciate the truth.
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The truth is always the best
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If you lie to him it will hurt even more. If it is necessary be honest with him sit down as a family and tell him how very loved he is but don’t lie to him.
If he asks you…tell him: No, your Dad isn’t your biological Dad, but he loved me enough to step up and be a father to you , when the other guy didn’t. He has loved you as much as he would if you were his flesh and blood. He was there even before you were born. If he asks who the man was who donated the sperm…tell him if you have to. That man will never say he raped you. He will run for the hills!
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Do not lie. He deserves the truth.
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I wouldn’t say you cheated, what if then he decides he wants to find his bio Dad? If he knew the truth he may decide he doesn’t want to find him. Be honest, and don’t say you did something you didn’t do!
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IMO honestly is the best way to go in this situation. Your son is an adult, and he will have questions. You are a survivor, not a victim, and if you lie about it, your son may go looking to meet someone he shouldn’t. He may be hurt as to why you and his dad waited so long to tell him, but if you lie and he finds the truth (which inevitably happens), that will hurt him so much more. He knows his Dad loves him, and nothing about the truth can change that. Much love!
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Are you sure ur husband is not the dad? Maybe tell him once he gets the results
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Did you see Greys? Jo Wilson was born from an assault and she went into depression like hardcore depression. It would be better if you jus didn’t lie to him…tell him the truth! You wouldn’t want him going into the dark place. Pls tell him the truth. The WHOLE truth…
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The truth always comes to light. Never lie to your kids about their parentage. They’ll always find out and be even more hurt than if you had just been honest. Honest with them and honest with yourself.
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Do you and your son and husband favour…let the truth be told…
Yeah it’s going to hurt…yous have kept it from him for 24 years…
Give him the chance to sit with it…process it and start what ever healing he needs to do…love and light to yous…x
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I would be honest and I would let him know how very much you love him
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I would be honest. If the other person is his father and he doesn’t know the truth he may look for this person to form some sort of relationship with them. That would be terrible for him to have this person nor only in his life but also your life again
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He’s a grown man and he should know the truth, lying isn’t going to help anyone.
I would encourage you to tell him.
It is a part of him…whether you want it to be or not. He cant heal from something he doesnt know about. You dont want him to carry around this unknown struggle and not have the chance to heal from it. Maybe the reason the assault on his friends tore him to the core was because at his core that pain already existed and he didnt know it.
It is hard….but you can do hard things. And he can get thru this. Truth is always the best. A lie leaves that dark secret to fester and will spill out into other areas of his life and it will hurt him in the long run anyways….but he wont have the chance to deal with it.
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I hate to say this but you should tell him before he receives his results. He needs to hear from you what happened.
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Look up the story of the triplets that took the same test and got different results 
I would be honest and tell him. Don’t tell another lie. The truth always comes out. If you lie, how will he ever be able to trust you
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Don’t lie, he will hate you if you say you cheated and his dad isn’t his real dad. Tell him the truth. He will care and love you more for sacrificing what you have for him. Your husband too. Good luck mama… I’m so sorry you are going through this pain.
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Sit him down and be 100 percent honest with him before the tests results arrive.
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He definitely deserves the truth.
Honesty is always best. When he was younger there was no need for him to know. Now that he is grown and more mature he deserves to know the truth.
You need to tell him because that DNA test will tell him and it’ll be more detrimental and will ruin y’all’s relationship if he finds out that way
Tell the truth. Nothing could be more confusing than constantly lying. Or your child finding out yet again you’re lying over the first lie saying you cheated and cause more drama to the situation. Just be truthful.
Honesty is the best policy. I’d encourage you to tell him the truth, instead of telling him you did something you didn’t do, that could also backfire.
Good luck! 
Never is a lie better…when he asks…the truth always…lies he hurt
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You have to be honest otherwise if it comes out further down the road he may never trust you again
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This happened to me, the result was my daughter. I told her when she was about 8 years old. I told her that the man that was mean and made me do private stuff with him resulted in her. BUT that made me not like him and she is innocent and I could never love her any less. She was the best thing that came from what the mean man did. She is 27 now and has told me she is glad she knew. You should tell him before he finds out from the ancestry thing. I am sure he will be less upset hearing it from you. Heck it might even bring him closer to his dad because he will see that his dad did not have to love him as much as he does.
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Dont lie and say you cheated. That will hurt your son as well. Also it will make you out to be the bad guy.
I think the best choice is to tell the whole truth.
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Oh this must be such a hard thing to deal with I’m sorry 
You love him… tell him the truth before the results come back.
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Talk with a professional therapist that will help you find the words. Both you & your husband.
Oh what a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive.
I’m so sorry you were assaulted and have lived with this secret for so long. Why are you protecting the person who assaulted you?
Tell the truth. It will set you free.
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I would wait for the results and if he has questions, tell him the truth. If I’m reading this correctly, he could still be your husband’s biological son. If that’s the case, no need to say anything more. If the results say otherwise, then let him know the truth.
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Be honest to him, he deserves to know.
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Telling him you cheated will make him hate you. As you said, he loves his dad and they’re super close. Wait for the results, if anything comes of it… tell the truth. Explain that you loved him so much that it didn’t matter how or who, that his dad didn’t care and he was wanted no matter what!
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Hon, my heart goes out to you and your family…im so sorry you have to deal with this. I dont know what i would do in your situation…i can sit here and say tell him the truth, but who am i? I can tell you i have a friend and his entire childhood was based on a lie about who his parents were…he was told his dad was his brother, his grandparents were his parents etc…at 16 they out of the clear blue sky told him the truth…that messed with him and still does to this day(hes 56 now)…but he was only 16 at the time…I mean your son is 24, an adult. I would hope if you tell him the truth and everything that surrounds it, he would be understanding and empathetic…i feel i would want to know the truth if it was me…good luck and give it to God hon…
This is SO disturbing that you went 24 long years without telling him!!! Why would you do that to him. Stop lieing!!! I hope he finds outthe truth, I would be so heartbroken to know ive been lied to for so many years and am finding out only because you got exposed from ancestry DNA test
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Truth is best no matter what.
Don’t tell him you cheated what if he goes looking for that guy!
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My son is almost 13 and he knows that I was sexually assaulted and that no matter the circumstance that he was created under, I have loved him and wanted him from the moment I found out that I was pregnant. IMO, honesty is so important, even if it puts you in an awkward situation with your kid. The most important thing is to make sure that they know that they were never unwanted or a mistake on your part and that they are so loved. Always have been and always will be.
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Don’t tangle yourself in more lies. Be honest about what happened and how you and your husband’s love was able to rise above it and provide him with two parents who adore and love him.
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Tell him the truth. If you lie and say you cheated, he may end up hating you for cheating on your husband.
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DNA doesn’t make you a father any more than being raped makes you a bad women. He will understand and love you even more. Tell him you were waiting for the right moment and he has a wonderful father who knows how to be a great man.
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I always thought lying would destroy the trust in any relationship…
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If your husband is on the birth certificate; no your son wont find out. I have the wrong man on my documents & im still able to access that mans records; i however cannot access my biological fathers records because 1) hes still alive & 2) hes not on my birth certificate. I have it noted in the system for now though
PS; it is NOT disturbing that you did not disclose this info to your son yet. Do not let these 
make you feel bad for it.
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Therapy. Therapy. Therapy. Lying to your adult child isn’t going to work
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stop lying to him. sexual assault effects every woman and girl yes even your mom
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I wouldn’t lie about it. If he thinks it was young and cheated he might try and reach out. I think you have to have a real and raw conversation with him. Tell him you have dealt with the emotional trauma of it, and try your hardest to move forward. But at least he’d be way less likely to reach out.
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You should always tell him the truth ! He’s an adult now and it will hurt him but he will understand more now than when he was a child. That’s important info to know , especially medically. Your husband and you both should talk to him .
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Take him to a therapist and tell him with help ready. He’s going to need it. Good luck
Be honest with it Hunny.Dont let your son find out from a piece of paper…Tell him.xx
I know this is hard for you. It will be hard for him too. However he is an adult and lying to him will only make things worse. You explain to him the circumstances IF hes not your husband’s biological son. I think if you explain to your son the circumstances he will be angry but you’ll be able to work through all those negative feelings of his bio dad. You have to reiterate that he is not like the man that hurt you and then list traits like your husband. I.e maybe he has you husbands since of humor or kind heart. Either way he Is an adult and will want the complete truth.
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Deny Deny Deny. Don’t ever tell him it will destroy him. You love him your husband loves him and that is all that matters. Praying for you and your family 
I would want my son to find out through me and not the DNA test results.
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He is a 24 year old man. I understand keeping it from him as long as you did and I fully agree with that decision because as a child that information could be pretty traumatic. But he is an adult not and he will be able to handle it. It might be hard but he will be fine. Give him honesty.
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First off let’s the terms correct you are not the victim of a assault you are a survivor of a rape …next telling your son that you cheated is a lie and you will lose his respect for being a cheater .and if he ever finds out the truth than you will never have a chance with him because now you are lying…if he says / asks TELL HIM THE TRUTH …
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Always tell the truth. Life is hard and cruel, nothing we can do to change that. The last thing you should do is damage your meaningful relationships with dishonesty.
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I’m just so very sorry for what you went through. None of this is your fault and it doesn’t make your son any less your husband’s- regardless of what the DNA may say. I’d imagine, as an adult, he’d understand why you made the choice you did and appreciate that you came forward. Here’s hoping the DNA test will come back with positive results.
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Be honest with him. Wouldn’t you rather he find out from you and not the DNA test results? It will be hard but you all will be okay.
If he finds out that his dad is not his dad I would not recommend saying you cheated. Be honest with him bc he may want too reach out too that man and he wouldn’t know what he was getting himself into.
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Hon. Sit him down with your husband and maybe a therapist and tell
Him now. I would have your husband tell him. Tell him that he’s his son now and always and you tell him that when you found out you were pregnant that all you could think of was the miracle he is…that each person is born with an entire soul and every day you’ve had him was a blessing. Then let the therapist reframe.
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Secrecy implies shame. You and your husband have nothing to be ashamed of. Your son is going to find out. He’ll have a hurricane of emotions. This is HIS truth as much as yours. Better he knows now when you and your husband can answer his every question, than for him to find out later and he can only wonder about the answers.
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Tell him the truth. If you tell him you cheated it will damage your relationship with him and he may want to seek out the man.
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You need to sit him down and tell him if he has friends that have been affected by sexual assault also he will understand.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But honestly I would sit down, the 3 of you, and tell him what had happened. You don’t want it to end up being that he tries to reach out to the guy so saying you cheated might not be the best idea. I’m sure with him being older he would understand.
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Be honest with him and let him know all that you just divulged to us. You and his father loved him from the beginning no matter how he was conceived. Your husband is his father.
Don’t lie to him. Once you tell him or it comes out, he’ll be more hurt knowing you weren’t truthful in the first place. Still make it known how much you and your husband love him and in his eyes he’s still his son. I would do one on one therapy and family therapy. Good luck!
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Be honest with him him the truth with eventually come out so tell him before it does good luck
Don’t lie to him further and tell him now before he finds out on the internet by a ansestery test
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Also you should not feel any shame and as far as I’m concerned his dad is still his dad and the monster who assaulted u Is a sperm donor
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Tell him the truth, nothing good will come from lying. You’re so strong. Reassuring him on how much you and his dad love him no matter how he came to be and the loving family you all have. You choose to keep him, you love him. Bring the truth to light. Keep it between you three you dont have to tell anyone else.
Better you tell him than a paper that has no emotional gimme to him.
Im so so sorry you went through this. I do feel like you should tell him the truth, but only bc telling him you cheated would make YOU the bad guy… And you are definitely not. Also, there would be the chance that he would seek out his biological father if he thought he was conceived through an affair.
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So sorry you were assaulted. I would think being honest with your son is the best bet. He sounds amazing and I know you all will get through it.
Im sorry this happened to u but telln him u cheated would hurt him more
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Tell him the truth! Don’t lie to him
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Please don’t lie to him. Him thinking you cheated will be worse than him knowing you were assaulted. He may attempt to seek out the man and that would be horrible for all of you. With that being said maybe the test will reveal that he is biologically your husband’s💚. I still believe your son deserves the truth no matter the outcome
So you’ve lied to him his whole life and you think the solution is to lie more? I see how you got here. Lies lies and more lies is not ever going to fix this. Your son will be angry if you tell him he was the result of infidelity so you think angry is better then hurt? I’m not really sure how you’ve come to this conclusion but you ALL need to go to a family therapist and start with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You lie some more and I almost for sure can promise it will come out. For example what are you going to do if this ancestor test brings back hits for family on your rapist’s side of the family and he wants to meet them? If he thinks you had an affair with some dude maybe he he will want to meet him or what about aunts or uncles or paternal grandparents? How he feels about that could be in a different headspace if he thinks he is the result of an affair verses an assault.
Tell. The. Truth. Which is what you should have done a long time ago. Your son deserves the truth.
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First I’m so sorry this happened to you and I’m sorry you have had to carry this with you all these years. But Please don’t lie to him. I can’t imagine what you are feeling but you don’t break that trust with him. What if he wants to meet the other side of the family? You need to be honest as hard as this might be.
Tell him the truth do not lie to him because if u do here’s the thing he’ll try and reach out to the other man if he wants and he could find out that way and u don’t want that to happen either.
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Im sorry you and yoyr family are going through this…I would just be honest if I was you…he deserves to know the truth…I would also explain to your son that regardless what any test says, his dad is who raised and is right there with you both…it takes more then DNA to be a dad…with the cheating story you run the risk that he goes in search for this man…he deserves to know
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I’m so sorry. Hugs and prayers. I couldn’t imagine.
My best advice is honesty is always best no matter how hard it is. If you lie, it’s going to be a rabbit hole that will spiral out of control and it will come out eventually. I promise, lying will do more damage than good.
Prayers for your family. You are so strong and brave.
Tell him. He will understand. I went through a similar situation as the child and he will get it. Best advice I can offer is to come clean before he finds out himself. Finding out a lie is way more painful than your parents having an adult discussion with you as an adult. I’m sorry you went through that
Do not lie about how he was conceived. Your husband is his dad. Period. If he thinks you “cheated” at some point he may look for his bio dad. If he knows the truth, he can just move forward knowing his dad is his dad regardless of any DNA test results.
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From the way you stated your question it seems as if there is a possibility that your husband is the father and if not by blood it sounds like you are loving parents and your son will be strong and loving no matter what
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What if you tell him you cheated then he wants to get to know his real dad? Just tell him the truth
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Tell him the truth!!! Your husband was man enough to say he didn’t care and loved that child as his own. I’m sure he will respect the fact that you both chose to keep him and love him regardless of what happened. If you lie it will hurt him. So TELL THE TRUTH!!! Lies always come back to haunt you.
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I was 14 the person my oldest was from was 19 years old! It was statutory rape according to law my 12 year old knows this! The truth hurts but with all so respect it’s better you tell him before he gets the results back! That might be a grudge he hold forever☹️
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He deserves the truth❤️
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