My son is 10 and recently told me he’s gay. His dad barely sees him and has expressed homophobic sentiments in the past. I can tell my son wants to be open with his life and would like to tell his father but also recognizes that his father might not want to see him at all.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My son came out and his father has issues with it: Advice?
Give your son extra
Just support your son!
No relationship is worth hiding your truth. NONE. If they can’t accept you as your are, they love themselves and their ideals more than you.
10 is a little young to know you are gay. Who is feeding him sex information?
You son is 10 … That is ridiculous. Should not be feeling sexual at that age
Maybe you be there with him when he tells him so he knows no matter what his father says or does he always has you. If he really loves his son he will except him for who he is not who he wants him to be.
My mum is like that she thinks anyone whose gay has major problems.
Even if he were to keep a secret, I feel like parents would realize changes their child is experiencing.
But I would just make it clear to your child that it’s a big decision and most may not agree with their choice. As long as they are happy with themselves, nobody else’s opinion matters.
Don’t listen to the comments talking about his age.
Give your son all the extra love. Be there with your son when he tells his dad.
You accept your child no ifs ands or buts. Plain and simple… stand your ground Mama!!! Hug your boy for me. If dad won’t, I will!!!
Just love your son and give him as much support as he needs.
He doesn’t need someone who looks down on him in his life due to he’s own personal choices.
I knew I was at least something at that age, I liked girls the same way people said I’d like boys. My dad refused to accept it and I still resent him for it (among many other things). You give your son an extra long hug and let him know that no matter what his dad says/does, it’s not his fault nor his problem to bear.
Extra hugs and counseling. That’s not the kind of love your child needs from a so called father .
Just be there for your child. If his other parent is not very involved already, you are more important than ever.
I follow this page because it keeps me grounded as to how hateful the world really is. At ten, you can know who you like. I see ten years old with crushes all the time and no one says “your ten”. They may not say they relationship is serious because they are ten, but they don’t say when a guy has a crush on a girl he shouldn’t be feeling that.
The fact there’s more judgemental comments on this post then not makes me feel sorry for some children.
You’re doing amazing.
I just wish all of us in lgbt+ community had loving and supportive parents.
Knew I shouldn’t have read the comments. I’m also disappointed but never surprised
If the father is already kinda absent, maybe you could gently tell your son that he needs to be true to himself and not worry about his already dead beat of a dad.
How does a 10 year old even think that? All I can say is be there for yr 10 yr old
Tell his father to get over it and accept it
So the ones that are concerned about his age would you be concerned if your 10 year old told you they were straight?￼￼ tell them they are too young to decide that?
Y’all talking about his age are ridiculous. You had crushes at that age, whether it was on boys, girls, or anyone else🤷🏻
If his father doesn’t want to see him at all then he’s not a father. It would be his loss. My daughter came out years ago. A parent that would disown their own flesh and blood is not a parent.
if he Honestly feels like he likes boys even at 10 then accept it and if his father can’t then oh well he had u an hopefully other family members to
At 10yrs old probably a large majority of us had crushes and figured out if we liked a certain gender more. He just doesn’t find girls attractive that way, I knew by the time I was 9 that I girls and boys.
Be by his side when he tells his dad, even if his dad rejects him at least he has you, and a very large community willing to accept him for who he is too!
Let your son know that being “gay” is something that will be decided on later in life when he’s old enough for a sexual relationship. Tell him to just enjoy being a kid and not to worry about that kind of stuff yet. Way too early to “come out” in my opinion.
He needs to tell his dad. It’s up to the dad if he’s going to completely push his son out of his life or keep his son close and love him for life.
An those who r saying hes to young i remember being 14 and knowing i liked both my brother was 8 when he started having crushs on boys
Both my girls came out to me. They cried thinking I wasn’t going to love them anymore. I held them both tight and told them regardless on who they want to be with. I’ll still love and stand by them no matter what. They are my world and always will be.
Oh you lot carrying on about his age. That’s got nothing to do with answering or giving her advice on how her son should go about something. If you’re not gonna give her advice on how her son can go about telling his dad then don’t comment.
Now in saying that… if he really wants to tell his dad but is afraid to do it on his own then be there with him when he does so he knows that no matter the outcome with his father he’ll still have you for support.
Let him know that even if some don’t agree or like it that that shouldn’t deter him from being himself and expressing it how he wants. There will always be people who have a problem with something others do or are but in the end they don’t matter and their opinion shouldn’t care as it’s his life to live how he wants. If this is something that isn’t just a questioning of his sexuality.
My son is 8 and high functioning autism (aspergers) he has met a lotof people famiky included that treat him poorly because of it…he just holds his head up says “this is who I am. Love me or leave me. But I have no time nor the room for your lack of support for who I am. I am going to be my best self with or without u!” And I suppory him in it. His grandparents think if I send him to church or punish him correctly he will be healed and normal. And so my son has decided they aren’t worth his time effort or grief. Just encourage ur son to be true to himself and if the father really loves him he will have to grow up and acceot him…if not ur son doesn’t need that negativity of not being able to br who he is.
That would be cruel! He’s still your Son and your Love for him and support would really be awesome! It shouldn’t change!
The father , needs a Attitude Adjustment…I have two gay gsons!
Don’t tell dad just yet… your son is only 10 no reason to rush… let him just be a kid if “dad” doesn’t except his kid the way he is then bye bye dad… id be proud knowing my son was a strong open child
Then it’s his loss if he don’t want to see him and be in his life.
It’s better for him to live his life the way he feels comfortable. There will always be someone is unhappy or does approve of something but in the end he needs to be him and happy. Encourage him to surround himself with the right people and hopefully the others will come around at some point but he can’t deny who he is.
The father needs to either step up or step down and move the heck out of the way! A parents love is consistent regardless of sexuality or way of life in general!
My gay gsons are grown…they are very productive in society…they have hilarious personalities
.I Love them to the moon and back…I refuse to judge them on their sexuality…
Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve makes you sick it’s not right
My daughter came out as bisexual at 12 and told me she liked girls at 10. It’s amazing that he knows what he wants and what he likes and has voiced that. With that being said a real parent is not going to walk away due to the preference of gender of their child’s crushes and choice of partners. He’s a grown ass man tell him to suck it up.
He is who he is and that won’t change…there is only one choice here…you can’t hide such a thing…tell him and let him make an ass out of himself by rejecting his son…if your son is mature enough to know he is gay then he’s mature enough to be warned what may happen when his dad finds out…
I think it’s way too young to have a bf or gf at age 10. Extremely too young to understand what being “ gay” is at age 10. I would be more concerned as to the level of sexuality exposure he’s had at his age.
At his age he should be focusing on being a kid and his education. Not dating! Parents should guide their child. Obviously needs to be raised with his bio gender until he becomes an adult and can be mentally capable of deciding what his orientation is.
i agree bye bye dad, also son may not know what he is my son at 7 loved shiny purses and begged me for green high heels, i told my husband and he said well did you buy them for him i said no but only because they didnt have any in his size my husband was like oh well look for them the next time you go shopping , my son out grew that phase in his life when he was 11 now he has tons of girlfriends and my only request if for him to be respectful of them but if he had indeed been gay , our job as parents would have been to support and defend him and i hope you will do the same for your son
If his dad doesn’t love his own son for who he is then that father is a piece of crap
If his father doesn’t want to see him then he’s done your son a favor. You are supposed to love your children unconditionally. Period. There is NO excuse for turning your back on your child based on their gender or who they choose to love as long as they are happy.
At age 10 these kids need to be going In Class and be mindful of these terrorists!! More than coming out, Sexually!! What is that 4th or 5th grade?
If he doesn’t want to see him because of that then he shouldn’t be in his life. If he won’t see his son because of that then you don’t need him around. And it’s not about oh he is 10 and not old enough or whatever. It’s the principle of the thing. Accept your child or don’t bother coming around.
My gson is 11 and knows not much of sex at all!
I’d tell your son not to hide and jst b who he is … Don’t be a shell inside his skin cuz he is gay and his dad or others r goin judge critisie and be cruel and vindictive but long as he has some support and knows bein gay is just as normal as bein straight and their nothin wrong in hiding who he is and how he feels (his sexuaility) jst make sure Ur his saftey net when ppl turn backs from your son x
Seems like everyone this age is going this route. Well, dad has to support him until 18. Dad’s obviously against it. Maybe it’s initial shock. Raw emotions. Unfortunately at the end of the day dad will accept him or he wont.
More he feels intimate scared and embarrassed he wil feel insurcue scared and could cause probs down line like depression or mental health maub have a chat wit him first sayin stuff like u need him to love him self for who he is gay straight or what have you not … And Neva feel bad or ashamed in his own skin cuz he don’t match up to people normality … Mayb tell him how to handle things even if u have to jst recap and so he know Ur his saftey net like I e Wen people say hurtful nasty things rise above it laugh and walk away or get him ready for him to handle his emotion or anythin else comes his way when he feels time is ready and he is ready to come out to others as well as you
Well done for not caring if your son is gay straight or purple x
What in the heck are you talking about ? no one Not anyone 10 years old should know how to suck or poke jesus christ what is wrong with you explain it to me
I was 8 when I realized I didn’t find women attractive- nothing “groomed” me towards being the way that I am or anything like that; I simply fail to see women attractive the same way that I see men attractive
I would tell your son as a gay person myself that it is perfectly okay and normal but he has to choose who he tells because not everyone will be nice about it and once you tell someone you cant take it back.
Tell him you are proud of him either way but he is still able to change his mind at any time.
Either way you think no different of him
Tell your son that being blood related doesn’t excuse discrimination. He can be his authentic self . It’s his human right. He does not need to wait to tell his dad. We don’t tell adults to hide who they are to please someone else so why should a child. We teach our kids to always be proud of themselves and to openly show that pride . His father can either unconditionally love his son or get out of the way.
I’m so sick of this same bs year after year
“Dad” is already an absentee parent so he doesn’t get to have an opinion on shit
No one is trying to convert him
The only reason for a man to be homophobic is because he’s secretly afraid dicks are delicious
Too young to know weather he is gay or not
I’d teach my child not to hide who they are for anyone!! If someone can’t accept them for who they are then that’s on them. They will be missing out on amazing people
Dad needs to get over it
In my opinion ( I can be wrong ) the first thing she should do is having a deep conversation with her son , I will ask him what he know about homosexuality and what he mean with saying that he is gay , he might be confuse and think that preferring to have boys friends, wanting to play , talk etc is being gay .
If he in fact is gay , she has to explain to him that some people including family and specially his dad might disagree with this, that he has to be strong because he will receive rejection , harassment etc .
But also , she needs to let him know that nothing is wrong with him , and that she will be with him all the way by his side .
If he decide that he wants his father to know , to be honest I will tell him that she will have the conversation with his dad and not him, to protect him from any bad reaction and for the rejection he might get from him, he is too little to deal with something like that
Ur son’s brave at that age, but if he needs to tell his dad, & already knows what might happen, then it’s up to him.
I’m sorry, but in my opinion a 10 year old shouldn’t be concerned with this subject….leave these kids alone and let nature take its course…there is plenty of time for many feelings for him to feel……he’s just a kid and know doubt thinks this because gay seems to be the thing too feel…. Teaching these kids about to much to early is causing this possible incorrect conclusion before it’s time….leave these kids alone and protect them from this indoctrination
It’s good that he’s having a hard time with it. Rather than reacting and getting all upset. It’s just gonna take time just like when you find out anything else that you didn’t know about it’s going to be different, but with love and learning how to work out
Well he‘s 10. Keep an open mind letting him be who wants to be but in truth he doesn’t see women at all he’s 10. And he’s way too young to even be thinking about liking girls or boys.￼
Omg these comments being gay is the same as being straight . We all knew who we had crushes on from an early age . People need to grow up and understand that there’s more than one sexuality . And he knows who he likes and what he likes . Please just support him .
At 10 he doesn’t know what he wants. Don’t put ideas in his head. If it’s true than it will come out later and you can support him. Until then I would not engage in such a discussion until he is older
Advice? I’m sorry what? She needs to do what is best for her child and protect her child from the sperm donor that she thinks is her child’s father.
That’s still your child. The same child he was before be came out. Hug that baby tight, and tell him that he’s amazing and strong. Dad needs to realize this too. It’s a hard subject to navigate sometimes, but, the end of the day, you still love your kid, no matter what.
Time to drop dad
These comments are depressing as fuck.
Tell son to be honest If dad doesn’t want anything to do with him then that’s on dad not U or your son. Give him loads of love and let him no everything is going to be fine
“he’s too young to know!” I knew I liked girls in the 1st grade. Y’all knew who you liked. Quit acting like kids aren’t allowed to know anything about themselves. Y’all are the ones confusing the kids and telling them they don’t know themselves or their feelings. When no one is pressuring you and you don’t have to worry about your parents disowning you it’s pretty easy to be honest with yourself. QUIT TELLING YOUR KIDS THEY’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE THEMSELVES.
The people saying kids know at an early age who they are SEXUALLY attracted to is weird as fuck. At 10, I was not concerned with the opposite sex whatsoever. I wanted to be outside playing with my friends. My youngest 2 are 8, and almost 10. The 10-year-old could care less about the same sex or opposite sex. Stop sexualizing CHILDREN!!! Let him be a child for f*ck sake.
Support the hell out of him. Validate his feelings and ask him questions about what you can do for him. If his father doesn’t support him he’ll find better role models, at least be one of those he doesn’t have to replace. You’re born this way. Period.
You can’t force your sons father to accept it… I know it sucks, what you can do is stand by your son and guide him. Let your son know his feelings are valid and that your here to support him, if you’re still unsure look into some youth lgbtqia+ groups. Here in Utah we have a pride house that does youth groups so maybe look in your area and you and your son can bond through them. I wish you the best of luck, and tell your son that I support him 1000% even though im a stranger.
Just let him know that you love him to bits and it’s his choice whether to come out to dad now or later. Either option is perfectly ok.
Lillian Barton What a crap comment, my son came to me at 11 and said he was gay, I had known before he did
I would suggest having a chat with your son about how he will tell him, offer him support when he does. If his dad takes it badly, than pull your husband aside and have a separate conversation with him. I wish your son all the best and hope he finds the courage to come out to your husband.
My son came out as bi, we thought his dad would take it bad too, coz of all the homophobic things he used to say, but he didnt. We misjudged him royally.
All you can do is offer support and let your son know, no matter how this next conversation turns out. You will always have his back
so many people saying he’s too young to know… i knew i was straight and liked men at that age and younger. my first crush was trunks from dragonballZ and then when i watched labyrinth… still younger than ten, i was just watching the bowie buldge😂 not all children are aware of how they feel and that’s ok, but a lot are also very aware.
You need a new husband.
If his father has issues with it, then your boy cannot let it be his issues… he needs to be true to himself and find those who love him unconditionally…
Your son is pretty young. Is he sure? He hasn’t really had a chance to experience puberty yet along with that sexual awakening. Is there a chance he’s been abused by someone? I would check into it. If that isn’t the case and he actually is gay, try to be supportive because a lot of his other family won’t know how to deal with it.
He is to young to know if he’s gay tell him to go play outside or play a video game. Stop encouraging this behavior maybe we would have less school shootings if people weren’t mentally fuckn their kids about sexuality and gender before they even actually know what it means.
He’s ten years old. He needs ment a l help.
Your child is 10. There is no need for “coming out” or even to talk about sexual orientation. My friends kid tried to say she was gay from the age of 8, her mom even allowed her to have gfs. Fast forward to a now 14 year old… Not gay and really likes boys and has a bf. Stop pushing this agenda on little kids.
How does he know he’s gay anyway? Has he had an experience? If so, you got bigger problems than his father
Wow all these comments some of you terrify me as parents SMH I am actually scared for your kids knowing this is how you’d react if your child comes out
How about you ask his father a hypothetical. Maybe talk about the “Don’t say gay” bill & ask him “What would you do/how would you feel if (son) were gay?” See how he reacts.
Have other accepting family and friends step in to show how much he is loved. Get the boy into counseling. Being rejected by your parent is so devastating.
As parents we should love our kids NO matter what…
How his father treats him is between him and his father.
Sorry, but at ten some kids still dont know how to wipe their ass right. Don’t fail your child. Before you become oh all accepting take him to a psychiatrist to make sure he wasn’t molested or something. Several kids that come out and say they are gay is cause someone molested them. Nowadays kids who say they are trans same thing. Sad part is they get put on meds for the change then they turn around and kill themselves. A close friend of mine kid took his life. If she had only known what the uncle was doing at a super young ago thing would have been different. And before you all attack me, I’ve been taking her to group and all stories have 100% been all the same.
He’s freaking 10! He doesn’t even know what sexual attraction is yet! Jesus. I will love my children regardless of who they love but I’ll be dammed if I am going to let my 10 year old tell me he is gay and run with it. If he told me he liked a girl it would be no different. 10 us too young to have sexual preferences
Get your son in therapy. NOT because he’s gay, but because this world can be very cruel, and having a 3rd party that is professional and unbiased can help in custody situations later when/if his father emotionally abuses him for his sexual orientation.
Encourage your son to be true to himself. Reassure him that you love him, & be supportive.
At 10 yrs old, I’m not sure what dialog would be appropriate to use to explain to your son that there could be negative social reaction to his situation. My way of thinking is that children should be allowed to be who they are, not who everyone else thinks they should be. If they are comfortable and secure in who they are, they exude a confidence and seem to live much happier & healthy lives. However, there will always be bullies that want to criticize & challenge others … just because. They don’t need a reason. They’re just bullies. Unfortunately, any child that is different from the bully is going to get picked on … a child that wears glasses or braces or has a different color hair or curls instead of straight hair … a taller than average child, or a shorter than average child, or a thin child or a thick child, or the skin color is different, or the faith is different …
You get my point. Bullies will pick on anyone, for any reason, and when a child tries to assert himself in a certain direction on his path in life, he needs to understand that there will be obstacles along the way. There are on any path, much less the less traveled paths. The LGBT community is becoming a stronger, more vocal community, but they are still bullied. You need to prepare your son, so that he is equipped mentally and emotionally to deal with the obstacles.
As far as his dad goes … you can’t force someone to not be a bigot. You can’t force him to accept his son. All you can do is explain to your son that each person has to live their own life being true to themselves … and other people don’t have to walk in his shoes … so if they can’t accept him for who he is, it’s their problem, not your son’s problem.
Explain to your son that he needs to be true to himself no matter the opinions of others, including his father. Of course he will be upset if his father then reacts badly but he’s got you. Hopefully his father will grow up and act differently in the future but your son can’t pretend he’s someone he isn’t just for his fathers acceptance. I wish you both all the luck in the world.
How can a child of 10 years old be gay he’s only a baby holy Fuck what’s the world coming too
Love him unconditionally, support him. It’s up to him whether or not he tells his father, just reassure him that you’re there for him no matter what. <3
Okay one I wanna say I was like 6 when I knew I liked girls and still to this day at almost 23 still like girls just gonna put that out there he doesn’t need mental help or anything like that some know way before other and that’s okay if his father can’t be supportive of him he shouldn’t be involved your child deserves only the best and to feel loved and be able to be his true self
Tell his dad and if his dad doesn’t accept it then let your son choose if he wants that toxic man in his life or not. For the people on here saying he’s only young and he needs mental help. Give your head a wobble ffs. At 10 I knew I liked boys and had ‘boyfriends’ just like my 10 and 12 year olds have ‘girlfriends’ do they have mental health issues because they know they are straight? Because I can’t see the differences between knowing your straight or gay etc he is old enouto understand who he is attracted to that attraction may change as he gets older like it could with any one but for now he likes boys and he’s so lucky to have An amazing mum that is with him I hope he can get past his father’s feelings and enjoy his life . Some people on here are ridiculous.
He is 10!! He doesn’t know what he is! The kid needs therapy
My daughter came out to me at the age of 10. You better bet your ass I was out buying anything lgbtq+ to support her in anyway. Age doesn’t matter. It’s how she feels and I have sat down with her and talked to her about it and she fully understands what it means. He needs to tell his dad and if he don’t accept it then screw him. He doesn’t deserve to have your son in his life.
Father needs to go.
Protect you’re child and embrace him!