My 15-year-old son recently came to me and told me he was dating an soon to be 18-year-old girl. I do not know how I feel about the age difference but at the same time, I am just happy he felt comfortable enough to come to me and tell me. How should I go about this? I know nothing about this girl but I think I should meet her.
It’s only a 3 year age gap. I say meet her and see what she’s like. Don’t judge just because she is almost 18.
He shouldn’t be dating in the 1st place …y’all gotta stop treating these kids like grown-ups
Don’t judge too quickly!
You will find out more if you appear ok with it. But I get it my 20 year old is dating a 25 year old girl who has twins 🤦🤦🤦
I’d tell him no and explain why. I’m sorry that sounds awful to say no because you want him happy and to come to you about this stuff but In most states it’s illegal to date anyone under 17 if you’re 17 and older. Plus they’ll more than likely be sexually active and lets face it that’s statutory rape at that point. He’s 15 and as a mom myself my kids won’t be dating until they can pay for their own date, gas, and car insurance.
Check the state laws on statutory rape even if the female is older.
Maybe he is just more mature than the girls his age.
My sister has ALWAYS dated men 20 years older than her… 🤷
Meet her and see what she’s like if you ground him or tell him he can’t date her you may push him away which is the last thing you want.
Keep in mind it only seems odd because he’s at school.
If he was. 20 and she was 23 it wouldn’t be an issue.
Let him know your concerns (if you have any) thank him for being open and go from there.
How would treat if it was your 15yr old daughter dating an 18yr old guy? Treat it the same way.
When I was 15 I dated a boy 3 years older than me. My parents were iffy about it bit said even if they said no I was a teenager and I would prob date behind their back. Which was true. But they met him and liked him and let us date. We are no longer together bit he taught me a lot about the world in the 3 years we were together. Just let her and go from there
I think you should meet her.
But also trust your mother’s instinct, you will know if this girl is good for son.
It’s only 3 years but boys do not mature as much as girls.
Also I would have a talk with him about consent, and that it goes both ways.
Does he just want her to buy him vape products?!
I’m more concerned that she’s almost 18 messing with a 15 year old, she can legally get into some night clubs not to mention she could go to jail for messing with a minor, That’s a tough one, I’m mom of Boys and I know I personally would not let it go on, But that’s just me. I would defiantly be meeting her and her parent’s,
Really? It’s only 3 years. I’d advise him to keep his mouth shut till he’s 18 though just in case someone tried to get her in trouble.
No dating till your 18 son …
The age difference it’s not much if we’re talking about adults but he’s only 15 and she’s18 I don’t know about in the states the age here in Canada is 18 you’re an adult, you can vote, you can drink so moma meet her and see for yourself! Its good he came to you for advice!!
The age difference doesn’t matter IMO HOWEVER in this day and age with her being almost of age things can go south quickly for her law wise! Research the laws in your State regarding age of sexual consent ECT., and go from there because even if you’re ok with it, your State laws may not be but other than that precaution, use protection, be safe and have the sex talk lol
Ok so my sons father was 15 when I started dating him I was 17 … He became a father at 16 i was 18 …we fizzled out when my son turned 1… I wouldn’t worry about the age thing unless he’s talking about altering his life in major ways like quitting school ect… the relationship may fizzle out on it’s own…
I can’t understand some parents at all why would you even entertain the thought of having your child dating when he/ she should be doing childish things, not because something is norm makes it right. That’s your que when he appoach to let him know he’s too small for that the time will come when he can, for now just enjoy your childhood.
Would you want your 15 year old daughter having sex with an 18 year old guy?
My personal opinion aside, in my state the age of consent is 17. The day she turns 18, sleeping with him would be a felony. Something to look into.
Always good to be open with kids communication is needed no matter what ages
I’d meet her and see what you think but just remember, the more you dont like her, the more he most likely will. Kids will make bad judgements and will have heartache but they will be ok…just be there, guide him if she turns out to not be who he thinks she is and go from there.
Think you should at least meet her and set some ground rules. He is only 15 and she is 18 legally an adult. Your son is still a child according to the law. So I’d use precautions. Meet her and have a good mother/son talk
When I was 15 my boyfriend was 18. Although the gap in age isn’t huge… the gap in emotional intelligence was major and the things he subjected me to was much more dangerous, he had already experienced what I was naive to and had access to what I didn’t have access too… alcohol, tobacco, night life, etc…
He was manipulative and coerced me into doing things that were yrs beyond what I should have been doing.
As a mother of a 21 yr old girl… I made sure my daughter understood the importance of dating 18+ when she turned 18. I also made it very clear why I wouldn’t allow her to date 18+ when she was a minor.
This is a tough situation to be in for the 2 dating and parents involved. I personally wouldn’t allow it no matter how wonderful the girl is.
The fact that somebody would have to ask… He’s only 15!!! Focus on school!
Hell no! What does an 18 year old have in common with a 15 year old?
Some people need to get their heads out of their asses and realize this is 2020
Fucksakes back in 1970 people 15 years old were getting married.
Talk to your kids.
Thats all that is needed in this life is more communication!
Wow! 15 is young. And 15/18 is a big difference at that age. Yes it beyond fantastic that he came to you so you have to tread carefully with your reaction. Meet her and take it from there. You can tell him you are comfortable with him dating at all or only sat wing in groups or hanging out your house? I’m not looking forward to the dating years!!!
My son is 15 there ain’t no way he would be dating an 18 year old !! like mama think of it like this she’s off in the adult world working or uni and clubbing hes in high school like ??? I don’t get it what she would want from a 15 year old … seems off… plus would u feel the same way if u had a daughter and she was dating an 18yo guy
All I’m saying is kuddos for being the kind of mom that your son felt comfortable enough to come talk to you❣️
Mother what they can’t do in public they will do in private. You need to meet these two and sit them down and have a heart to heart talk with them both. Talk about sex, unprotected sex, babies and what can happen if they make the wrong choices and the benefits of making the right choices.
You can say no but it doesn’t mean that your response will change anything.
I think it depends on the type of people they are. You probably need to get to know the girl and her family.
Women mature way faster than boys so mentally ita more like 6 or 7 year difference. And no why would a 18yr old girl wana mess with a 15 year old boy she wants to groom him… nope
Marry him off its solid. jk idk how i would feel about this either.
Meet her , judge then . The age gap isnt huge and only you can press charges so dont listen to the rest of these people on this page .
Expect to be a grandma soon lol. But seriously if we’re talking about adults 3 years is nothing but since they’re teenagers I’d say no way. Why does an 18 year old girl want to date your 15 year old son? Seems weird to me, that she’d go for a guy that much younger. And 15 is REAL young. Plus it’s illegal, ask yourself if the genders were reversed and it was your 15 year old daughter dating an 18 year old guy, would it be alright with you? Would that make you a terrible parent to encourage or allow it?
My son was 15 and dated an 18 year old. They got married when he turned 19. They celebrated their 19th Anniversary last month. They have a 15 year old son and 11 year old daughter.
Soon to be 18. Your kid is 15. It’s not legal and should be broken off immediately. That girl can just be a child predator. Most likely will groom him. I know I wouldn’t want my daughter dating an 18 year old guy.
It’s only 3 years difference guys. What’s the age gap between you and your partner? As long as they are not having sex till it’s legal, why not. The boy seems comfortable to talk to his parent about dating which shows maturity.
That’s just my opinion. No hate
My husband is 3 years and 3 weeks younger than me
I am happy he felt comfortable enough to discuss it with you. Our family had a one year rule. You could date someone one year older or one year younger but no more than that. We had a very frank conversation with each of our kids about statutory rape and the consequences. It was very shocking to realize that they really didn’t understand that they could become a registered sex offender. I wanted them to know that once you become 18 things are extremely different and that yes girls can be charged the same way boys can be
No indeed my 15 year old son is a child and an 18 year old is an adult
I would meet the parents too to see what their reaction is of their daughter dating a 15 year boy. Talk talk for sure
What my advice to u would be to meet this girl first then when the time is right u sit your son down and tell him that his girl friend is of legal age and however he is not 15 years old is considered a minor under the age.of 18. So not to engage in anything intimate because she could get into alot of trouble with the law.no matter.how much.you like this girl thier treading on thin ice.im surprised that an 18.year old would know better.have your guard up.mama good luck
Lol 2 years apart lol…
You would hate me as a daughter I went 24 years apart lol.
Sorry I guess I got add the obvious yeah I’d be cool with it.
2 years difference is nothing.
Ohhh again sorry I just reread it.
Met the girl. Great job in parenting that your son was comfortable in telling you. Open communication is always key
I’ll be honest, I would not be okay with it. No matter which way you look at it–the girl being older or the boy being older–it’s statutory rape where I’m from. So as a parent I’d say it’s a no go
did she just turn 18 yet? because you said ‘soon to be’ is he about to turn 16? because statutory rape laws usually only apply to a 4 year age gap… in most states. and lets be real here, he was man enough to tell you. he may be mature enough to handle a relationship with an 18 year old. i would give them both a chance because like it or not… unless you have him under your thumb, he’s going to do what he wants anyways. he’s shown you respect by talking to you about it, so in my personal belief, he deserves the same respect back.
You should feel in the same way that if your son was a 15 years old girl dating a 18 years old guy…
I was 15 and he was 13. He felt like he was the Don because he was dating older. So I’m going to say that’s his reason. My reason, I just really liked him he was funny, fun to be around and cool. Didn’t have sex but did have sex when I was 15. I suggest you find out her reason and get a man to perhaps talk to him about sex Coz he might find it awkward talking to his mum about it. Good job though the fact that he told you.
He’s 15 and probably shouldn’t be dating let alone someone who is older.
I think a step in the right direction would be to thank him for being so open and honest and then talk about how I could be potentially illegal for him and her to have any type of relationship outside of friendship. Then lastly I would have the protection talk.
Be careful of the laws. If it’s illegal all it takes is a bad break up and it’s a trip to jail.
Listen if he were 18 and she was 21 would it be ok. She isnt that much older and at his age he is thinking 2 eyes shut.
Invite her over for dinner and get a feel for her. Tell him you arent entirely comfortable with them hanging out alone because you dont know her but that they are more than welcome to hang out at your house
If u allow them to date and things go badly dont go running after her for charges. She trusts you and obviously cares for your son
I know in my state that would be illegal once she turns 18. We have the Romeo and Juliet law with a 3 year limit. Meaning should could get in big trouble and possibly jail for dating a 15 year old at 18 years old.
Nope. Why is an 18 year old wanting to date a 15 year old?
I think it’s fine but talk to him about sex etc. she needs to be careful because she is almost 18 and could be charged.
You should meet everyone your child dates. But if its illegal dating is a no.
I’d say have her over for dinner or something and kinda scope out the situation. A lot of people are gonna jump right to “she’s just trying to take advantage of him and make him do things” which is sometimes true. There are some people like that in this world unfortunately. However, not everyone is like that. I’d say the right thing to do would be atleast give her a chance and meet her and go from there.
Hmmmm… that sucks but check ur state laws. And dont be petty if they ever break up.
Ouch I’m not sure here , 18 is legal 15 is not
Would u all be saying the same if it was an 18 year old lad going with yer 15 yearl old girl
Kids learn to ride bike on old bike, not new
Maybe remind him that she could get in big trouble if anything happens between them due to her being legal and him not being legal yet.
As long as the youngest person is 16 at least there is allowed to be a four year age difference in my state. You can’t base any judgment off of age! Maybe try incorporating her into a family function and not come on too strong. It’s hard to do as mom and we forget!
Don’t do it nothing good will come out if this.
Girls mature faster than boys and seeing as she is about to become a legal adult I don’t understand why she would want to be with a much younger guy. We know what red blood adolescent boys are thinking but I would think her friends would be making comments to her about it. If he were my son I would certainly make sure they spent as little time as possible alone together. He is too young to be a father.
Definitely be careful of the laws. In my personal opinion someone at 18 has a much different mindset than someone at 15. I wouldn’t push anything but educate him and let him know you’re there to support him. I hope you’ve had the safe sex talk with him.
That is a BIG age gap at that age.
My daughter just had an 18 yro bf she is 15 I was on the fence and I didn’t let them actually go out he came over or she went to him house for supervision reasons and we just fou.d out in the state of MO they can legally have sex because they are not 4 yrs apart and this is coming from the courts not just someone telling me
Everyone is so hung up on age. You need to meet her and feel everything out. Then discuss everything as far as when she turns 18 with your son. My husband was 18 when i was 16. So why would it be so vile if the girl was 18?
I was 18 and dated a 15yo guy who turned 16 on my senior prom night… all I can say is make sure you talk to him about what’s ok what’s not and safe sex because I took my younger bfs virginity because to me at 18 that was part of a relationship and he wanted to…just make sure you set boundries be prepared for anything
In a lot of states they have a leeway for cases like that. If its only a couple years and the parents give consent then it’s fine. I think you all should sit down and talk about how you each feel and some ground rules. See what shes about and stuff
Check state law. In some states that’s statutory rape
Some states as long as tthey are least than 6 yrs apart it’s legally but at the same time jthey need to be careful bc he is under the age 16 ND some states under 16 is still a cold and they can’t make their own decisions ND before anyone says anything about me saying that is my daughter dad got a 15 yr old pregnant even tho she ND the parents allowed it he still got in trouble nd stuff it ruined his life
Meet her first then go from there … she still 17
15 isn’t even legal age of consent in most states so if something were to happen it could get bad for her
If he was your daughter would this even be a question? It’s a hard no. He’s FIFTEEN! Are you off your rocker MoMA??!!
I would just make sure that she is a nice girl and that she is aware of what could happen to her if things hit that point. She is assuming most of the risk here, so if you’re on board be on board 100%. If any part of you has doubts, say so now.
Girls mature faster then boys… My s/o was in a relationship like this when he was 14… he has my two step daughters from this relationship that he had wen he was 15 and 16… She left and pretended like it never happened leavi him to take care of his kids and go to school alone.
This exact situation might not happen to your son but beware. She is older and more than likely has different ideas/expectations of a relationship than his.
I’d say meet her for sure. It’s up to you and how you feel about it. I’ve never looked much on a 4 year gap because that’s the age gap in high school. For example if he was a freshman they started dating when she was a junior who was 16 would you automatically expect them to break up just because she graduated and turned 18
The fact that everyone equates 18 to sexually active is weird. She could be a virgin with no interest in inappropriate behavior and likes dating younger to avoid the pressure but ok
If she is nearly 18, it’s mainly 2 years difference. I was with my high school boyfriend was I was 16 and he was 13 and we were together for 2 years until I went to university (no sex, just hanging out and kissing!) and when finished university we were together again for 8 years. Someone it’s the person not the age, and if one of them was 35 and the other 38 it wouldn’t be a issue.
How would you feel your 15 year old daughter was dating a nearly 18 year old boy it’s them same no way but that’s just me if they really love each other they can wait because my state it is illegal and parents can go to jail for giving permission as for my state that is what my aunt was told
You seem to have done a wonderful job at raising a very respectful son first off. Will your son be turning 16 anytime soon or at least before she turns of legal age? As another person suggested have all the major needed talks with him if you haven’t already but I feel you have since he felt comfortable enough to let you know about her which is a huge plus in my book for both you and him. Ask him how serious he feels about her and if he feels it will be a lasting relationship or just in fact just dating. I would want to meet her regardless if it’s just dating or maybe more serious just to get to know her. Good luck momma on whatever you choose to do and again kuddos to you for being a great mom and for him being a very respectful young man and son being open and honest with you.
Check your state laws first and if needed explain to him that there could be legal problems if they engage sexually, make sure he knows that at his age he should not be having sex anyways but if he does to make sure he is safe. Maybe express that you are very proud and happy he came to you and that you would like to meet her. He must really like her. Be understanding. Kids are gonna find a way to do what they want but fear is what keeps them from coming to their parents. I always felt comfortable telling my mom anything and while I did make mistakes she was always understanding. Eventually my friends would come to my mom for advice on how to talk to their parents about a mistake they made.
Everyone is getting so hung up on the age of consent. The fact of the matter is that you can’t stop teens who want to have sex from having sex. No matter what boundaries you place or how many conversations you have, if they want to, they’ll find a way. As much as it sucks and goes against every motherly instinct you may have, you can’t protect your children from everything and in situations like these, the more you push away from what they want, the more they push back. Just be honest with him. Tell him what your concerns are but be open about his feelings and opinion, too. At the end of the day, trying to keep two teenagers who want to be together apart is just a surefire way to negatively affect your relationship with your child.
I would only say no to my son only because u never know people now a days yes she might be the one turning 18 but you never know now a days what could happen with such a age difference better to wait tell there both over 18 or over
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When I was 15 I was dating a 22 year old.
I was 15 when my now husband was 18.
Just make things clear what’s okay & what’s not. His role & her role in things.
The age difference isn’t great but it’s not the worst when having a teenager. If you try to stop it, that will cause a whole new set of problems because they will sneak. Just lay down some ground rules. Kids think they’re grown at this age. Raising a teenager is hard for most of us parents. I don’t want to do it again ever! It’s exhausting!
Question - an 18-year-old witha 15-year-old - statutory rape - jail time ? Possibility - better check out the laws😟
I allowed my daughter to date a older boy. Her 16 and him 20. She does not like boys her age. He was good to her and helped me alot. But in the end we had charges placed on us for contributing to the delinquency of a minor and i cant remember what the other was. So you are better off to stop this
I’d want to meet her. If she seems like a genuinely good person, I’d be totally fine with it. I’d definitely have the protection talk though and make sure to have a good talk about things in general with the what ifs and how tos as far as a relationship may go. Teens will find a way, especially if you’re against it lol. Maybe if you pretend to like them so much, they’ll decide against it if that’s for the best
A lot of ppl saying don’t let them date… but if I remember correctly when I was young I didn’t listen at all when told something like that. If anything telling him not to see her will just make him still see her, hide it more and not come to you with future potential problems. He came to you first and foremost…That’s amazing! Definitely check your state laws and inform them of those laws but I highly doubt doing anything else would help in this case. Just my opinion
If you tell him no he’ll probably do it anyways. Just keep a close eye on them. And be honest, it’s the best for communication😁