My ex-husband and I have been divorced for ten years. The ex still lives with his parents, and my son STILL does not have his own room. They have a room, kind of a catch-all room, but they won’t turn that room into my son’s own bedroom. Is that a form of abuse if my son is made for sharing a room with my ex-husband and sleeping on a cot or with his dad?
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Abuse? No I don’t think so. Lazy and sorta just shitty, definitely.
Abuse? Absolutely not
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Um no it’s not a form of abuse.
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I shared a room with my parents until I was like 12.
My nieces and nephew still share a room and a bed and they’re like 9 and 10.
Abuse? Ugh no. As long has he has a place to sleep, a roof over his head, food, water and electricity hes taken care of.
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How often does your child go to their dad? Not abuse.
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So this is how it is at Dad’s house, really none of your business.
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oh my. Abuse where? He has a place to sleep you can’t tell them to make a room in THEIR OWN HOME a room for your son.
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Geez. Is this all you have to worry about?
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Nope not abuse…sorry
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It depends on where you’re at honestly. There are varying laws about it. Usually listed as overcrowding laws.
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Damn if that is abuse then I been abused all my life because i never had my own room when growing up…
Abuse? That’s offensive to those who actually went through a form of abuse. 
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Girl your reaching. Things happen at least he is trying and spending time with his child.
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Wtf no not abuse. Is this serious? Petty AF
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He is spending time with his father. What’s your problem?
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I know a bunch of states have laws in place once the child reaches school age but I’ve never had to personally read into it. Maybe start there?
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There are laws about pre teens of the opposite sex sharing a room, there are no laws keeping a father and son from sharing a room. How if the dad had female companions staying the night and his son is on the room with them during inappropriate times that would be a different story.
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Wow just be glad he’s not abusing him. Maybe not the ideal situation but definitely not a crime
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Mind ya own damn business 
as the judge told my hubbys ex wife, what goes on at the other parents house during their parenting times is not your concern.
No. And mind your own.
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In today’s society there’s no damn way to have kid’s have there own room’s but as long as he has a roof over is head food and so on he is good…
Abuse? Your kid is cared for so what’s the issue
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When I got divorced in TN the judge said the requirement was that each child had their own bed. It could even be an air mattress. Outside of that there was no other requirement. I have a teen boy and two young girls. It really has been fine. It’s just for sleeping.
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Nope, sounds like he is doing the best he can with what he has.
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He has a place to sleep. He’s fed, roof over his head, clothes on his back. This is not abuse. Not every kid gets their own room.
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Abuse? You having a laugh.? Think you need to do some research, end of the day he sees his son, along as hes clean fed, loved that’s all that matters.
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Let it b! He’s there spending time with him n b glad 4 that. If ur son is happy with the situation that’s what matters.
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How old is he? How often is he sleeping there? It’s not abuse but it doesn’t sound ideal. Is the arrangement apart of a legal agreement?
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Leave it alone jeeez
No. You’re being petty. Be happy his dad wants something to do with him. There are a lot of dads out there who don’t want anything to do with their kids
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Abuse? Absolutely not. Inconvenient for your son? Maybe. Against your beliefs/wishes? Sounds like it. Just because it is something you disagree with, doesn’t make it wrong. As long your son is happy, healthy and well taken care of, it really doesn’t matter. Pick your battles momma. This one ain’t worth fighting for.
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- Your son isn’t being abused in any way when it comes to this.
- It’s not your house. Get over it.
- Your son needs to express his feelings to his dad if he wants a room.
- Based on how quickly you want others to justify your irrational behavior makes me wonder if your ex has to live with his parents because of the amount ordered of child support…
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Is this fucking serious? Are you aware of how many children don’t have their own rooms? How many kids share rooms or beds with siblings or parents? How many kids sleep on pallets, air mattresses, sofas? That in and of itself is absolutely not abuse. Jesus Christ.
Ask CPS. Not at all abuse. All they care is that they have a place to sleep. Plus, it’s gone on for how many of the 10 years? Probably all of them, and u just NOW want to do something??? Sounds like ur fishing for some drama maybe
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You sound petty. You should be thankful your kids father is in his life, a lot of kids dont have their dad. Grow up.
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In general…no that is not abuse.
There are circumstances that could make it abuse…but what you described alone is not abuse.
Unless its a direct violation of your parenting plan leave it be.
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Okaaay so basically your reaching. 110% reaching. I would suggest putting your efforts into something productive.
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Have you seen how Korean families sleep ??? Are they all abusers to you too ??? One per per child is SUCH a white/American concept. Thank you have a great day KAREN
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No. He has a roof over his head and hes fed. As long as hes safe who cares where he sleeps in the house
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You sound bitter. A boy sharing a room with his DAD is NOT abuse. Sounds like you’ve got some growing up to do.
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Okay some people are rude and trolling on here. Don’t mind them. They should mind their own business.
I don’t think it’s abuse. I understand you want the best for him but it doesn’t seem that his dad can provide for him. As long as he has a room at your place, there’s nothing you can do for his dads house
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When my parents got divorced my dad had to stay with his parents for a short period of time until my mom found her a place and when I was with him I had to share a room. He gave me the bed and slept on a cot like thing.
No it’s not abuse. He is doing what he needs to do when your son is with him.
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You’re just looking for things to bitch about.
As long as he has a bed. And if I were in this situation I would buy his own bed for over there if I were truly concerned. I didn’t have my own room growing up and it wasn’t abuse. My parents couldn’t control what life threw at them.
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No. Your ex should want to move out of his parent’s house. It is not their responsibility to take care/ house their grandson
I don’t know what state your on but here the kids have to have a room separate from the adults. It’s a CPS rule, when they are babies no but once they are over 5. Is your son complaining about it ? Have to offered to maybe at least buy a bed for over there ? And how often is he even there ?
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at least the father wants to be with his son
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“What can I do about it?” How badly do u REALLY want to do something? Cause u could always use ur money to get him a 2 bedroom place 
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It is only abuse if his father is doing inappropriate things with him like touching his privates. Things that would be helpful to know does dad have full custody or just get visitations? How old is the son? There is nothing wrong with father living with his parents, the cost of living these days it is quite common for adult children to move in with parents, especially after a divorce. My brother lives with our mother his son who now lives on his own shared a room with my brother they shared the largest bedroom in the house and had separate beds but before my nephew graduated high school and moved out on his own he would spend weekends and the summer at my mother’s house. He loved the closeness with his dad.
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Cps states that a child 5 or over has to have their own space and place to sleep, my grandkids were staying with me, their father told cps they were sharing a room, a boy, a girl, had bunk beds, they werent sleeping together, but both had yo have their own space, granddaughter couldnt even share a room or bed with me, so we took our music and computer room and turned it into a room for her, problem solved
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at a certain age he is required to have his own bed but each state is different i would discuss it with cps
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I never had my own room at my bio dads house and I’m a girl. I turned out fine. It sucks for the kid (relatable) but it’s not abuse.
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Girl that’s not his house!
Heck my son sleeps with his dad when he goes to his house… Sometimes he sleeps on the couch… Mostly because he lives in a large camper… My son is happy and loves it… That is all that matters…
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The amount of rudeness from some of these moms… Jeezus.
No it’s not abuse or negligence. Maybe a have a one on one talk with the dad.
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Petty…i wish my kid’s dad gave a shit about them enough to even see them! Count your blessings and move forward!!!
Umm what about you? Do you have your own if not get off your ass and do what you have to do for your son… and if you ever get a 1 bed room or whatever the room goes to your self not you…
There are kids out here REALLY being abused and you’re worried about a bedroom? It would help if you told us how often your son stays the night with his dad. If it’s like 1 or 2’weekends a month, why would he need an entire bedroom at this grandparents house?
I think you’re being a little petty.
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Looking for reasons are ya?! Sounds like you’re a bit bitter/HC
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You need to research what the laws are for cps in your state. Here in the state of Vermont the child/children legally need to have a bedroom with a bed in it for them to sleep in.
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I’m just shocked your asking if it’s abuse
If he’s a great father I wouldn’t criticise the situation! He could be struggling too however if he pays regularly and sees his son and spends quality time with him that’s all I would care about! What he does providing your son is safe and looked after really isn’t your concern and if he isn’t comfortable sharing a room with his father then he needs to tell his dad but maybe he’s fine with it and understands! The main thing is your child is HAPPY and has you BOTH
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No, abuse would be them making him sleep in the dog house outside. Chill out.
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Its not abuse. He can sleep on cot or nothing wrong with co sleeping with dad.
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um ok you sound like your grasping at anything to cause drama. As long as he has a relationship with his dad and a safe place to do so that’s all you need to be concerned about. Abuse is when a child is hurt by someone physically or emotionally. You really need to think why you’re going there ,and how your son will feel about the drama you seem to want to cause!
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So you’re complaining that your ex actually spends time with your son??
Is it every other weekend which is only four days out of a month? I find it hard to believe that your son might be complaining about this and that you’re probably making it into something bigger than it is… He probably can’t afford to get a place of his own after paying child support.
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Maybe you could ask if you can help them turn it into your sons room, they may not feel like doing the work?
Definitely not abuse or neglect
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Go to court. He should have his own space. You will most likely get your lawyer fees back if requested
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It’s not abuse. They are both male and as long as he isn’t doing anything inappropriate it’s not abuse. Regardless of the living situation your ex is at least stepping up and spending time with him. A lot of fathers don’t even do that.
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Does he live with your ex husband? I think it depends on where you live. Some states have rules on who can share a room. I’d talk to a lawyer
I shared a bedroom with my mom and had no psychological problems. It was my room all day basically until my mom went to bed or needed clothes 
. I don’t see this being an issue unless it is affecting your son or his father is endangering him. And in that case, id say forget about the room and remove him completely but that doesnt seem to be the case.
Does it bother your son? If so, it’s an issue. If not, you’re trying to make it one
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SMH… this is a joke… right?
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Who has Custody does the child live with you if so Why complain hes taking care of the child that’s all that matters and being good to him you haven’t said anything that relates to abusing him
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Unless you share 50/50 custody or the son resides full time with dad then there isn’t really an issue with it in most states. If you are really concerned ask cps
No it’s not considered anything bad. At least he is sleeping. My kids go to their dads house and sleep wherever they want. Floor, couch, his bed. They have their own rooms and beds. But they dont care to sleep in em. As long as they have a roof over their heads and are taken care of. I cant really complain… sounds like you’re making a bigger deal out of it than it really is.
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Most cases child lives with one parent a d visit the other parent. So If the child lives with you and visit the dad then that why he probably didn’t have his own room . But sleeping with dad I would depend on the hygiene. Just saying that cux my ex took a shower once a week and never washed his bedding. I didn’t have kids with him thank God. BUT if the father like that then they shouldn’t he sleeping together.
If he has a roof over his head and well taken care of it should be fine. When I was a single mom my daughter and I chose to share a room when we stayed at my parents house. They fixed up a sitting room area for her to keep her bed and her stuff but she slept with me. My parents absolutely spoiled her and she’s never wanted for anything. My cousin has a 1 bd rm apt and when his son stays with him he gives his son the bedroom and he sleeps on the couch. He’s taken care of and it works for them.
Do you think it’s abuse or do you not like what your ex is doing?
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Wow, some women seriously need to go drink another cup of coffee. While I wouldn’t consider this abuse in the traditional way, it’s still a pretty sad situation to me that after 10 years, the dad is still having to rely on his parents to help support his child. Here in Michigan, that would be reason to take the dads visitation rights away. Or have supervised visits. Kids need their own space And the judge may very well encourage the dad to get out and on his own 2 feet at this point
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It’s been 10 yrs:roll_eyes:"let it go let it go"
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I put it this way you going to pick and nitpick unto the father no longer wants to be in your son’s life then your son is going to be asked out because of you
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How old is your son? Possibly he could ask his father if he could have his own room? I would assume your child is at least 10, if not older, since you said you have been divorced for 10 years. Seems like your son could speak up for himself if he wanted.
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You should see what they do in other countries. Not making an excuse just a statement.
Omg you sound like my husband’s ex wife. Always trying to stir the pot with allegations of “abuse” 
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Abuse? No! Your son has a room be if a room he shades with his dad or not it’s a roof over his head
No this is not abuse. Geez
I have a rule with parenting time. What goes on during the child’s visit with the other parent is NOT my business. Unless the child is being physically harmed. I’m not going to interfere or question. Now I’m the only one who follows it. But I see so many people get worked up on the other parents parenting time. It’s not your time, it’s theirs. Just let it go. The child is happy, fed, has some where to sleep. My oldest sleeps on a pull out bed in his dads room on the rare times that he goes with his dad/ grandparents. He’s happy. So I’m happy.
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No…not abuse… is he there just for visits? I mean my toddlers one in a toddler bed which is basically a pretty cot and the other in my bed… they have their own rooms but sleep in mine… I’m not abusing my kids…
It’s only a problem where I’m at in mo if an older boy is sharing a room with a girl. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it unless you think the living situation for your boy is unhygienic,drugs,etc.
Wow it’s not abuse. I shared w my mom for a few years . She only slept in the room. I would do whatever I wanted w the room she just slept in it. I worked in er and saw lots of abuse . This is not abuse in any way. I actually left bc I could not take it emotionally the things I saw were hard to forget. This is not abuse! Abuse is when a child is left alone for days w no food , or when the parents have drug problems, or they r beaten , molested, raped, starved, burned, broken bones, skull fractures, and other horrible things! This is not abuse! This is a parent looking for reasons to get at the ex.
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I never had own room at my dads. Never was abused
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Not abuse but in NY the child is required to have their own room or the parent must give up their room and sleep on the couch when the child is there.
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I don’t see it that way. My kid’s dad can only afford a 1 bed…so when they kids go to visit they sleep on an air mattress in the living room. He takes good care of them and they’re only with him 1 weekend a month.
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Really ? Abuse ? For sharing a room with his father … baby girl if all your worried about is him sharing a room with his father then obviously your child is very well taken care of. On top of that, maybe he feels safer staying in a room with his father ? Up until I was 16 I didn’t wanna sleep in a separate room with my father because of attachment issues ( not saying he has attachment issues but in my case that’s what it was and my mother didn’t know that was why )
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No its not abuse. Fuck sake get a grip you horrible woman
Do people even read their own questions before asking ?
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My kids dad was the same way. He would either let them have the bedroom and sleep on the couch or the floor. The only time it became an issue is when my daughter got older and was uncomfortable sharing a room with them there. At that point I talked with their dad to make the decision if they can still spend the night or not. If your sons dad spends time with him and takes care of him this does not seem a problem. If it’s your son uncomfortable with the situation address it with dad. Not abuse.
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