My son doesn't try at the sports I make him play...advice?

I need suggestions. I have a 10 year old boy who doesn’t like sports or any physical activity really, but I sign him up anyways for all of it… Baseball, football, soccer, swim, etc and he does the bare minimum and doesn’t put in effort in anything. all he wants to do is sit on the couch and just eats and eats and eats… He’s just over 5 foot and weighs 165lbs! I take him to the gym with me and he will walk on the treadmill in the cinema and watch a movie. I buy healthy meals but he snacks on junk all day long and when it comes to meals he will overfill his plate and eat it all and ask for seconds.


stop making him. That’s the problem. Tell him he can choose one thing he truly loves to do, and sign him up for that. If he wants to go to church and you aren’t into that, take him anyhow. If he wants to diamond paint or do ceramics, sign him up! If he wants to play the drums, guitar, or flute— get him started! We can’t micromanage every waking second of our kids lives. Tell him he HAS to sign up for something but let that decision be up to him.


You’re toxic. Stop forcing him to play sports!

Find something he is interested in rather than forcing him. Think about if roles were reversed. If you were constantly forced to do things you didn’t want to do, would you put forth effort? Probably not. I agree he needs physical activity to stay healthy. Hopefully talking to him will help you both. I wish you the best of luck.


I limit the junk food I buy, if it’s there they will eat it. I would also suggest trying new active things with him. Biking, hiking, kayaking, are our favorites. Explore outdoor things and invite other families! My kids will do just about anything if there is other children! Like everyone else said, I wouldn’t force him to do any sports.


Well I’m 5’2” and the same weight sooooo there’s that…maybe don’t force him. Let him pick something. He may prefer arts or music, not every child is born to be an athlete. We tried numerous sports at my child’s REQUEST before finding what she wanted


Start buying healthy snacks. Fruits, veggies, nuts, etc. don’t buy junk food so that he will only be able to choose healthier options @ home. If he isn’t into sports you can try to start going on walks, hikes, bike rides to get him moving :slightly_smiling_face:


Get rid of the junk food and have tons of fruit - let that be his snack and don’t let him have tons . My mom controlled what we ate my entire childhood and when she said we were done we were done :heavy_check_mark:. Never had a weight issue growing up . Don’t force sports on him - maybe he’d like scouts , art etc . But do limit tv and games ! He needs to play outside - kids today don’t know how to use their imaginations since they are given so much that doesn’t make them think . Lots of luck ! I know this is not easy !


I’m a mom of 6. None of mine wanted to play anything. So what I did was sit each down and had a paper that had horse riding football soccer robotics etc TONS of options. I told them each to choose one thing they would love to do. They had a say in it and felt like they were in control


Well he’s 10, he’s not buying himself the junk! Ask what activities HE wants to do. Try doing family walks together. Buy some glow sticks & have a dance party. There’s a lot of ways to keep kids active without necessarily sports but it takes work on your part


How about stop “making” him play. Ask him what HE would like and HIS interests are.


I’d say find outside activities that he likes more and then limit his food/snacking? Don’t force him to play tho in my opinion.


Maybe find out if something else is going on. He could be stress eating or emotional eating, anxious about something etc and definitely don’t buy junk food. My son is 7 and only drinks milk and water. I didn’t grow up drinking soda so I hardly ever buy it. We have fruits, veggies, crackers, string cheese etc for snacks. He can choose what he wants. But it’s all healthy. If we do sweets, we do strawberries with whipped cream or something like that. It’s important to teach healthy eating habits so they make good choices later in life. My son will usually choose fruits over candy bars.


Original poster you may not agree but I feel he’s "uninterested " because they’re things you want him to do but he clearly seems to not want to.
Maybe ask him what he’d like to do instead


Sounds like emotional eating. Maybe instead of forcing what you want on to him maybe ask him what he likes and encourage and model positive thinking around health and eating. He isn’t the one buying the junk , so stop nagging on his “negative” eating or efforts and maybe try counseling and see if that will help him. Kids are mean and if he’s been treated unkindly by peers and you pile it on too it’s going to make him feel he isn’t good enough anywhere. You also have to consider genetics too when you are fixating on how he is currently. 10-14 can be an awful time as he is growing through the baby fat stage into the pre adult body he’s going end up having. It is possible he just doesn’t like sports. So he’s never going to give a lot of effort because he doesn’t care and isn’t going to. Make sure emotionally he’s in a good place and go from there. Good luck.

I would t push the sports. Continuing to force him is more likely to make him resentful of you and physical activity. I would try to engage and encourage other ways to keep the body moving. Hopefully, he finds something he likes, or at least can tolerate better.

I would also look into talking to a doctor or therapist. Not being able to break up healthy habits is something that will follow him the rest of his life. Maybe a professional could give you both some insight and advise as to why it’s so hard for him.


Omg stop!! You are creating an adversarial relationship for him with exercise and with food!!
Instead of talking about weight, talk about what kinds of foods make the body feel best. Talk about fuel. Food is not the enemy, our body needs food. And it’s ok to have junk in moderation. Fuel the body with the stuff it needs first and then wait and see if you’re actually hungry for more.
Activities don’t have to be based around health. Find an activity that he actually enjoys. Maybe he’s just not an athlete! I hated group sports with a passion. Maybe he’s a musician, artist, gamer, techie, etc. Those are great activities to get off the couch for!
STOP harping on these young kids about body image and start teaching them positive relationships with food and activities!

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Have him cut yards/clean house/do the laundry/teach him how to prepare healthy meals to eat. My four had play time but they also had work time. Now grown and independent. Growing up we did not sit around the house. We were outside running and playing. Socializing with other children. Kids these days are lazy and disrespectful. Got to raise em up right.


I don’t buy junk food bc of this. My son doesn’t have an off switch either. He IS an athlete though so that helps him maintain a healthy body weight. But we still have to take walks daily and I make heathy dinners so even if he eats a lot it’s not hurting him. He gets junk food every once in a while and we talk about it so he’s ok with it.


I would start with only giving him so much time a day on electronics! I would also do breakfast lunch and dinner and only put out so many snacks and hide the rest. As far as the sports go, let him try what he wants. He will find something he likes. Does he hang out with friends?


I never understood the “force my kid into sports” if they don’t want to play sports why make them? Rather give them the option that they have to sign up for something, rather that’s band, orchestra, chorus, a sport, drama club. Something…… as far as weight, why are you enabling by buying junk food…. Or buy just one snack/treat at a time or make a schedule he’s only allowed junk once a day. Screen time, cut it…. Take him outside, parks, fishing, walking, there’s so much fun things……

The answer is your question “I make him play” if you make him he won’t try, he have to tell you what is it he would love to play and than he will try, also trying doesn’t necessarily mean he will be any good at it either.
And to help him be healthy, cut snack allowance and don’t buy any home so he can’t have any, you can tell him for any activity that is over 30 minutes long you can get a treat, you are the parent, you are his food provider, he can only eat what you cook or buy for him, and if he ll go few days without food by refusing the healthy, he ll get hungry enough to eat the healthy

Maybe ask what kind of activities HE’D like to do. Also, maybe if you don’t buy junk, he won’t eat junk…


First if he wants to sit on the couch let him, no electronics including tv… that should fix that! As others have said bicycles, skates, skateboard, trampoline, walking, swimming, anything that keeps him moving! I believe he needs to be outside at least some during the day doing something! Money is a great motivator to get him started!


Then buy healthy snacks so at least he’s healthy eating snacks? And if you’re cooking healthy meals, what’s wrong with seconds? Are HIS DOCTORS concerned with his weight? The fact you’re forcing him to do all the sports you want him to do might be why he gives half ass effort. Think of outside the ideas like fishing, gardening, hiking, tae kwon do, kick boxing. When I was his age I wasn’t into baseball, or football or soccer. I might’ve been interested in swim but we couldn’t afford it. I loved kick boxing and taekwondo. My sister did gymnastics. We didn’t like school sports either. So quit forcing YOUR wants and actually ask him what he wants. You both could go on Google, and find new sports/activities that he likes and you approve, and buy healthy snacks. If you’re literally buying all healthy like you claim I don’t think how much he’s eating is really a cause of alarm.

My youngest is 10 he is 5’2 and 161lbs he’s a bit different as he wants to work out and play certain sports but I leave the sports decision for himself he loves football however he isn’t playing this year he said and he loves basketball. He loves his phone and video games and he too likes to snack like crazy and overeats so I stopped buying a bunch of junk food. I buy more fruits and healthier options for snacks. He still gets some junk food but not as much and if eats it all he’s out of it for however long it is til I buy it again. Which I usually wait a few weeks. I now only buy milk and water packets sugar free we barely ever have soda unless we get pizza for dinner or special occasions. I pack his lunch for school now also so I know what he’s eating and how much. I have also made sure his blood work was checked at his drs last year where I learned he was borderline pre-diabetic so we had a serious talk about how important it was to change a lot of his eating habits. He also has sleep apnea so that makes him have less energy though out the day but I try to pump him up to get up and move around to help. I think making your son do the things that isn’t interesting is just making him want to do nothing I would start in asking in what he wants to do explain how important it is to be healthier maybe also get some tests done to make sure everything medically is good. Is he depressed or stressed over anything. I try to rule out all of the other possible things going on my son suffers from depression so he sees a counselor at school that helps build his confidence more which in turn helps me keep him motivated to put in the effort of getting healthy. We still aren’t where we need to be but we are slowly making the changes which has been so much better. He really hasn’t lost any weight but his blood work came back better so it’s a start for us.

If he doesn’t want to play and you’re forcing him, why would he try?? Maybe communicate and see what he wants to do.


He’s 10 and your making him do 6 different sports throughout the year PLUS going to the gym??? You’re forcing to much on him. He’s only 10. My son is 14 years old, 140lbs, 5 foot 8in. Hes super skinny but very muscular. And this kid literally only eats junk and meat and he very sedentary. He works out in his room and has gym everyday at school and when its nice out he runs everyday. It’s more about genetics than we think. I don’t force my kids to do any sports. If they want to they will. Maybe stop forcing him to do all this. Find one or 2 sports that he likes the most and focus on them even in the off season. Like my son loves track and cross country running. Now cross country is only a fall sport. So in the off season my son works out, runs every night, and he will participate in running events during the rest of the year. He loves running so he works towards bettering himself for the next season. I would love for him to play basketball but he won’t. So I’m not going to force him. When we force our kids to do stuff they really dont want to do it takes the fun and joy out of it. If you don’t want him eating junk food then just stop buying it. He’s 10 so you should still be getting most of his food for him. Start buying more high protein foods like yogurt and cottage cheese, introduce him to hummus for dip for chips and veggies. Make smoothies and smoothie bowls for snacks. Kids should be eating a diet high in plant based foods. There’s lots of options out there now. The biggest thing is to just stop bringing junk food into your house if you don’t want him eating it.

Um. Don’t make him play. Follow his interests or natural ability…and the key word is don’t force but encourage… …also. age matters.


Also, not every kid likes organized sports. Maybe theater, coding, chess etc, is more his speed?

Smh alllll these people talking about “stop making him” thats awesome that you make him play sports (not every kid has the privilege) sports isn’t only about playing its learning how to communicate, decipline, how to accept a loss & so much more! Your son just needs to have some bonding time with his teammates if hes around kids that do the same they will learn from eachother if the only time he sees them are at games then he doesn’t have a good relationship with them… keep on trying your not doing anything wrong!


You buy the food. He’s 10. Stop “making him” play sports. How about asking him what HE likes to do and spending time getting him involved in doing that & meeting friends that are interested in the same things. Do you want a happy kid? Or an athlete? Obviously health and fitness is important, but his mental health and knowing he is UNCONDITIONALLY loved and accepted by you is the most important thing in this entire world. He is at a very pivotal age in a world that can be cruel. Be his kind, comforting, and safe space.

Stop signing him up for things he doesn’t want to do! You forcing him to do it won’t make him want to! Find something he likes. Martial arts was wonderful for my non-sports son. If you have a Nintendo switch, get the sports pack & play it with him… I’m not sure who enjoys this one more; me or my son! Even if it’s not something physical, find something he enjoys… cooking, arts, music, whatever HE enjoys! My 9yr old is 5’ & around 190; he struggles to do physical activities because of his size. He LOVES to swim & that’s about the extent of his physical activities. So when the weather is right, I take him any chance I get. He would eat from the time he gets up until he goes to bd, if I let him. I had to put a padlock on our fridge & a locking knob on our pantry to keep him from getting food all day! We’re working with a couple of different doctors to help with this, but I think it’s more of a sensory issue than him being hungry. My biggest concern is he’s now pre-diabetic!

First and foremost, stop shaming your child, if you are posting all of this online and degrading your 10-year-old child like that, honestly, it is no wonder you are having issues. He is probably using food as a comfort item because he doesn’t find comfort anywhere else. Maybe help him feel comfortable and stop judging him. Maybe just love him.

Have you tried martial arts, especially taekwondo? It actually burns more calories and allows kids to progress at their own pace— the emphasis is on competing with yourself. Plus TKD kids feel happier as it gives them more confidence.


Maybe he eats bc it’s the thing he gets control of in his life. You have control over everything else and force your child into all these things you know they get no enjoyment from. And not only that forcing them into teams when they don’t want to be hurts the teams esp if they do fair play. You sound super stressed over their weight but what does the doctor say? What labs have been run? If you were really very worried you’d be pushing the doctor, have him into a nutritionist or a therapist…. Just be prepared for kiddo to have disordered eating. Or maybe it just puberty and his body is preparing for growth. Have you looked at the whole family diet? At how the whole family treats food?


Deworm him. Maybe he will eat less. I don’t know what you can do. Try councelling?

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At 10 yrs old I would talk to him, find out what he wants to do. Brainstorm ideas that will get him out and being active but maybe ones that don’t seem like it. Geocaching, bird watching, swimming. Maybe try scouts which can offer a variety of things to do and offer different friends than those in school. I would limit the junk food and screen time. Those things can be earned by doing other activities.

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I’d suggest cutting unhealthy snacks in the household. Buy fruits and veggies for snacks. Or offer a special treat for certain occasions or rewards. Limit screen time, he will then look for other things to do. Maybe see what activities he would be interested in doing instead of forcing him. I like taking my kids outside for at least 30 minutes a day, even if they aren’t doing anything. Sometimes we just go for a walk or sit outside if it’s warm out. Get some fresh air.

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At 10 years old you should be monitoring his intake. Get the junk out of the house, prepare his plate and if he wants seconds give him the healthy option. During the day let him have a snack between meals, but only 1 small snack, go for walks with him but get him moving,

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Find what he likes… don’t force sports… there has for to be something he’s interested in… we never had snacks in our home growing up… you had three meals a day and that was it. As a mom… I had healthier snacks for my kids… but they never sat around… my son was always outside with friends playing… and my daughter danced. If I were you I’d focus more on the food consumption then your desire for him to play sports.


Honestly he can only eat the junk you provide for him so limit the junk you allow in the house to solve that problem then def don’t force him to do any sport he doesn’t wanna do. Tell him that you want him to sign up for at least one thing he is really interested in and let him choose. If I was forced to do something as a kid, that made me not wanna do it as well.

He needs to feel like he has a choice in the matter…

Have an honest convo with him but don’t down talk him about his eating and weight because you are going to make him have serious self confidence issues and maybe even develop eating disorders.

If he doesn’t like sports then of course he isn’t going to try. Maybe find what he’s actually into, like martial arts or rock climbing. Maybe look into food therapy. Maybe look into what actions caused an eating disorder. Maybe be the person who supports your child and not that voice they’ll always hear in their head that constantly puts them down.

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If his eating is that out of control, talk to his doctor. There could be a medical condition there.
Don’t buy the unhealthy snacks if they are a problem. Buy what you want him to eat. Unless he has sensory issues with food, then any advice on diet will probably not work.
As far as sports, just stop it. He will never try if you force him. Give him options of extra-curricular activities. Maybe it’s music or art and not sports. If you let him find something he loves, he may not eat as many snacks because he wants to do that thing.

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Well for starters, stop forcing him to do all of these sports. Second of all, stop buying junk food, limit screen time, and tell him to go outside. He’s a kid, they have imaginations. It’s healthy to be “bored”.


I understand wanting him to do more than just sit on the couch and eat. But making him play in sports knowing he doesn’t like it is gonna back fire on you in the long run. He could grow up to not want to be around you anymore for forcing him to do stuff like that . Maybe ask him what he likes to do and start from there.

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Stop forcing him to do something he doesn’t like. Find other ways to get him active. Not every child likes sports

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Why would you force him to do sports that he’s not interested in? Talk to him & ask what are his interests and be ready to support him! Just because children don’t do sports, doesn’t mean they’re not normal. He will see you as a toxic parent if you keep on pushing him to do something that he doesn’t like or give them that “you will like it soon” “you will get used to it soon” “other kids do sports, why can’t you?” mentality.

Don’t buy junk for him to have access to he isn’t going to put effort in to sports when he doesn’t like them…find out something he doesn’t like and try that.

Don’t let him snack put a time limit on TV then he has to go outside to play.

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Don’t force him into anything he obviously doesn’t enjoy. Maybe he needs more of a creative outlet as opposed to a physical one. Just talk to your kid

Umm. He can’t eat the crap if you don’t buy the crap - so stop buying it! That’s common sense. As far as sports, not every kid is into sports. Forcing him to do it isn’t going to make him enjoy it. That’s why he is only giving the bare minimum. He doesn’t want to be there.

Find some other type of physical activity he’s interested in … swimming, disc golf, playground …

Why are you signing him up for sports & not letting him pick what sports he wants to do. Say your playing at least 1 sport pick anything. & your the one who is buying the junk rnt you? Hes 10 he clearly doesnt have a job & own money, so stop buying it🤷🏼‍♀️ have a small amount as a treat here & there but your the one who buys the food for the house

He’s putting minimum effort in because he doesn’t want to play and you are making him. To me, sports are meant to be fun, if you aren’t having fun then I won’t make my kids do them. My son wanted to play them all so I signed him up. Quit soccer after 3 practices, and even though he absolutely loves playing basketball at home he quit that after 2 weeks. But he loves baseball and looks forward to that each spring. You need to start being his parent and limit the amount of junk food he is eating as well as don’t let him over load his plate at dinner.

See what his interests ar3 . Obviously not sports and that’s OK. As far a junk food do not have it available. As a treat once in a while ok. Do things with . Bicycle , walk, hikes to water falls, beach. Go on adventures.

I agree with everyone comments I’ve read so far…I have 4 boys and they are all delightfully different🩵 maybe your son is a music kid, artsy or outdoorsy, maybe he’d like fishing or exploring…there’s lots of options that aren’t team sports or traditional options that could keep him active and engaged. The most important thing is to not leave him out of it. He doesn’t know what he likes yet either. Do things together, have fun, get you know him and help him to get to know himself. Find your connection, leave the pressure out of it and just never give up on him. Let him know you’re rooting for him and that you love him and that you’re proud of him.

Please don’t force him bc if you do you’ll both be disappointed…I wanted my son to play football n soccer and baseball but he didn’t so I didn’t force him to…I found he’s more technology smart and enjoys things in his own way…as he is his own person so let him choose

I think your answer is in your question. Forcing your child to play sports is not going to end well. There are other ways to get active, and limit screen time

Why make him do it? Let him find a hobby he enjoys doing

Straight up stop buying the unhealthy snacks. The foods that we eat as adults will interfere in our energy levels and mental well being and it’s the same for children. Gradually change out those snacks for better options. He’s still a young boy so it’s up to you to teach him about nutrition and better choices. As for sport, not all kids are going to enjoy it and you can’t really make them but you’ve given him exposure to these things to figure out if he can develop an interest or not. If he doesn’t that’s okay, you can work on figuring out what areas he might actually enjoy. Don’t give up on encouraging him, just broaden what kinds of activities he’s exposed to. Diet change will ultimately make the biggest impact to start with though

Start a savings account for him and put all the money you would’ve spent on registration fees, equipment, etc into it. Then give it to him when he turns 18 so he can afford the therapy he’s going to need growing up with a parent like you :upside_down_face:

Well, ur not going to be able to “force” him into enjoying sports. I didn’t like them. That’s just how it is.
As far as him being a couch potato, I don’t have much advice.
But I do know that you could stop having snacks and junk available to him. Also, u can make him have portions. U could even make just enough for you all to eat that night

My oldest daughter was the same. I paid for different sports and activities and she always seemed uninterested. The problem with not “making” them do anything is they may not even know what they are interested in until they “are made “ to try. For instance, I signed my daughter for police academy one year. She hated it. Told me never again. The next year came around and she said “I think I can do it again” without me ever saying a thing. After she was done the second year she was already talking about next year. She also picked up basketball last year and is so excited to play it, and this is after not ever wanting to play anything ever. Kids evolve and it is our job to help them find the way. And for some I do believe “making” them try something works. And I’m speaking for children that have trouble deciding on their own. I firmly believe that broadening their horizons help them become confident in themselves. Also, being physically active is important so sometimes we do have to make them. It’s not for a bad cause. And lastly, if you don’t buy junk, it’ll be harder for them to get it. Wishing you the very best!

Tell him he’s gotta join one sport! That’s a start. I have a daughter who doesn’t like sports. I tried making her play basketball but she didn’t want to. She chose volleyball and her classmates talked her into xc.

Not every kid wants to play sports, forcing him likely just makes him resent the activity even more. Don’t buy junk food options for him to snack on all day.

From personal experience, binge eating could be that he’s bored. Maybe sit down with him and ask what HE would like to do that is not sports related. Try mother/son date nights and both of you plan them out. You pick the restraint, he picks activity or vice versa. Forcing him to participate in something he doesn’t want to do could cause injury at some point. Maybe set up a schedule that allows him and you to indulge in a junk food night or something. Have him write a grocery list out and go through it with him. I understand he might have junk food items, but ask him what kinds of fruits/veggies would he like? Have him participate in meal planning for a week. :woman_shrugging:t3:

As a mother, I would need to look at the whole child…body,mind and spirit, …family environment.
What activities you enjoy and share together
and the stressors in your lives.
Has your child been through
Painful experience or grievous loss?..How is his school life? Is he being taunted or bullied?
Does he have a “grand” or close friend that resonates with him?..
I would need a heart to heart discussion with my child …to see what they think and feel…
Lastly, if you haven’t already,
It is imperative to consult with his Pediatrician for more options…
Please stay vigilant
Your son needs YOUR love,support,and help…and as Moms’ we need to love and support our kids and one another. Godspeed.

First of all the problem is is you pick and he’s not interested and you still continue to push. Have you ever once asked him if there is anything particular HE would like to do. Not all kids are into sports. My 19 year old tried softball but she isn’t much of a sports person and when she ask if she could finish the season atleast and pick something else I was fine. She chose arts and crafts and guess she’s okay not doing sports didn’t ruin her. She flourished doing creative arts and crafts and to this day she amazes me with what she can do. As far as his weight you say he eats junk all day? He’s 10where is he getting the junk? If you have a problem with him eating junk then as the adult you get rid of the junk and buy better healthier options. He’s 10 years old. A child still. You need to make a change and maybe by doing so he can make better food choices but if you keep junk in the house he’s going to constitute to choose that over healthy. Right now it seems there is no balance. My 5 year old is a great eater and rarely eats unhealthy junk food. But part of that is the fact we don’t keep much junk in the house so she never really had that choice. You need to lay the foundation of better eating habits asap.

So he eats junk all day that you buy…


Don’t make him do what he doesn’t. And my brother was huge at that age and one day at age 12 he sprouted and was tall and skinny. Let the kids be. Find something that entertains him and do it with him even if it means watching a movie and eating popcorn. Sounds like body shaming to me and you need to teach him to love himself and don’t care what others think

Stop forcing him to play sports. Start a garden together. Research together how to grow the veggies and fruits he likes to eat. You can grow a surprising amount of food in a small space. Build a compost bin together. If you don’t have a space at home to garden, find a community coop garden. Stop buying junk food and replace it with healthy snacks. A big hit with my kids are little bags of cut veggies and a cheese stick. Don’t forbid junk food. Just make it so if he wants cookies, he has to go into the kitchen, follow a recipe, and make them.

Get a dog and start dog walking together. Maybe sports aren’t his thing. And if he is overweight, he won’t be any good at it and that won’t be good for his self esteem. Limit bad snacks. Stick to fruit and veggies. Set a good example and snack on that with him.

Not everyone likes sports or competitive. Gotta find what he really likes. Maybe stop buying the junk food and buy baking items. See if he likes to bake. Or music it’s the perfect age to start an instrument. Pottery? Art like painting? Go cart? Racing? So many other things than sports exist to try. Maybe if we stopped focusing on his weight and find out ehat he enjoys those pounds will shred faster. Could he stress eating bc he feels too much pressure from you. My son was overweight and I just encouraged him to do soemthing. He loves weight lifting… go figure huh… we have a weight lifting stuff in our basement now. School still has better stuff but he can still do it at home too. And he has lost a ton of weight in a year his middle school teachers/coaches didn’t recognize him in high school.

My son was a big kid also he was just big he eat and he will eat constantly but he was growing he now 6’4 and 235 lbs at 10 he was 185 lbs he didn’t play sports he had asthma now he older he plays every night basketball or soccer

Don’t force your child to do an activity/sport he doesn’t enjoy. He isn’t going to put effort into something he doesn’t want to be doing to begin with. Find out what his interests are and ask him what HE would like to participate on and sign him up for that. Not every child is interested in athletics and there is nothing wrong with that. Encourage him to try new things to find out what he enjoys, but don’t force things on him. As for the food…he is 10 and growing g, he is going to have a healthy appetite. That is normal. Make sure that you have lots of different healthy snack options available and ready to go for him to just grab. Kids grab what is easy and quick. Prep up a bunch of healthy snack so all he has to do is grab it. Don’t buy the junk food and it won’t be there to eat. Find out what healthy option he likes and make sure you keep thise stocked for him. Healthy dinners are good, and if he is eating a lot well, at least it is healthy food. You need to provide healthy snack options too. My 10 year old would live on snacks alone if I would let him. Lol Also, talk to you child about his day, his friends, etc. Make sure you know what is going on in his life and how he feels emotionally. Is he happy, depressed, anxious about anything. Home should be a place of safety and security for him, not somewhere he has to worry about being judged or ridiculed for not being like everyone else or doing well enough in something he didn’t choose. Make sure he knows he is loved and supported and work with him to find what makes him happy.

Don’t buy junk food and you serve him the amount of food you want him to have . Bargain with him if he does so many hours in sport then he can do so many hours of him doing his own thing .

I just want to say I’m just over 5 fr and weigh more than that, he will get taller and slim up, maybe stop putting him in things he has no interest in and ask him what he wants to do, and quit body shaming him before you cause permanent damage it is perfectly normal for boys to grow into their weight.

If you think he’s eating a lot now wait until he’s 15


Because he doesn’t want to go. So why would he try. Get out go for walks with him do things with him. Buy 0 junk he can’t eat it if it’s not in the home.

Some people just don’t like sports and that’s ok. However you need to start limiting the amount he eats. Especially the snacks. Being that large is not healthy for him

There is the problem " make him play" support him in something he likes and loves.

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Maybe try a non team sport like swimming or karate

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I would stop buying the food. Buy only what you will cook (healthy). No extra snacks or anything. He can’t eat what doesn’t exist in your home. If he wants snacks, have him work to earn it. Also, maybe ask him what activities he would do? Do them with him. It might be hard for him to want to do it alone. Being in a group of kids can be a lot. If it’s just you and him, maybe he will do better?

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The treadmill still counts as movement. Doesn’t matter how wimpy folks see it, it’s still movement and its still cardio. And him watching a movie while he does it doesn’t make the positive aspects vanish. All movement is good movement.

Instead of forcing him, ask him what interests him.

Maybe bugs, plants, fungi, birds, or herps could be a new thing. Everyone in those hobbies are active af because being active is how you find those things. Are they weird interests? Oh yeah. But they’re cool as fuck and what makes me want to get out and about and use my limited energy.

Or maybe some sort of martial arts would catch his eye.

If nothing really interests him, try a trade off. For every hour he puts into some physical activity (the treadmill freaking counts!!!), you’ll put an hour into something that interests him. Because I’m seeing a lot of him being forced to do what you want, but not a whole lot of you doing anything with him that he likes.

And the kid is so close to hitting puberty. Most kiddos pack on some extra weight right before hitting puberty. And they eat more and sleep more because their body is going through a shitload of changes and exhausting itself.

Lastly: the more you shame, the less willing he’ll be to do anything at all other than shutdown. Weight shaming and food shaming during childhood is one of the biggest reasons folks develop eating disorders and body dysmorphia (cis folks can experience that too). Don’t be the reason he struggles with his body and eating habits for years to come. Doesn’t matter how frustrated you feel, don’t take your feelings out on him or mask your rudeness for concern. Work with him, not against him.

That’s you’re problem, you make him, give him the option to do something he like, maybe even fishing, scooters, take him to the park to ride, it legit doesn’t have to be a sport, just being active!

I’ve had to stop buying junk food if it’s not there they can’t eat it I would let him eat a hefty meal if he wants but just cut the snacks completely and only have water or sparkling flavored water available to drink

Stop making him. Stop buying junk food. Does he want a dog. He would have to walk it if he does.

Don’t make him do any sports if he doesn’t want to Encourage something he likes to do

Stop making him play sports he doesn’t want to play …

Key word you MAKE him play sorry maybe leave the choice up to your child maybe he or she doesn’t like sports and has a interest into something else buts scared to even tell you :woman_shrugging:

Read your first sentence out loud to yourself “my son doesn’t try at the sports I make him play” could it be possible he is not interested in the sport that you’ve “made him” play? Find common ground, ask him: say “hey you need to do an extracurricular, do you have any ideas? What would you be interested in doing?” And go from them. Collaborate.

From a sports parent don’t make him play anything it’s selfish selfish to the coaches and the team who actually want to be there if u buy healthy snacks where’s he getting the junk? No junk

I’d choose junk food over fruit and veg too if it was an option.
Don’t have junk food in the house and he can’t eat it.
Or atleast hide it away in your closet or something.
Also maybe he’s not an outdoors type of person. :woman_shrugging:

Don’t press too hard about it,he’s too young to have body image issues.

He should not have to play sports if he doesn’t want to. Tell him he has to do at least 1 hr of activity outside or moving before he gets tv/couch time. Also before puberty all kids tend to eat more and put on weight then they usually grow and slim out.And YOU are the parent who brings the junk into the home therfore your the reason he eats it. Either lock it up or bring in healthy stuff. Also he’s ten getting ready for growing he will be OK.

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Sounds like you had 10 years of introducing him to unhealthy habits and then don’t understand why he’s like that. If you force him to do something, he won’t want to do it. Just help him pick something he likes and do it with him.

Stop forcing him, he isn’t interested in sports. And don’t buy " junk food" it won’t be an issue in your home.

I agree with other have him find something he wants to do and I suggest therapy. Maybe this is something more. Have him find healthy alternatives. You got this.

I don’t make my kids do things :woman_shrugging:t4: I ask them what they would like to do and go from there. We encourage them to try new things. Like we don’t do bday parties, we pay for them and a friend to make a memory. My second oldest will be swimming with sharks this summer with a friend. And my other two are still deciding. For our anniversary we always do something as a family, again we try new things, like this year we are going to the batting cages. And if one of our boys likes it, we are happy to sign him up. If not, well at least they gave it a try before just saying no.
As for the food. Kids will eat whatever they have access to. My kids have a snack bin for the week. If they eat it all in a day then that’s it, they don’t get more till next week. They always however have access to fruits, veggies, yogurt, cheese, etc.
What I wrote works for me and my family, it may not work for yours but maybe try a few things out till you find what fits y’all best :smiling_face:

Young one , you can force love - be it a person, activity or anything in life - you know that - forcing will only cause resentment- my baby brother didn’t want to do anything he was built like your son - however now he’s a metal artist and had a grow sprit and thinned out right before h.s. - help him find out what interest him and go for it. Just remember he’s a baby - he’s gonna try a few things and not like them - but eventually he will find his thing. As far as “junk food” don’t buy it.

That’s the problem. Stop making him. Let him find some thing that attracts his interest and sign him up for that. You can’t make him do something that he doesn’t like.