Guys, I really need help! My son just turned 5 in October. This last week he has been TERRIFIED to go to bed. I mean, screaming at the top of his lungs, hyperventilating, and peeing the bed. He started sleeping with a white sound machine and a night light last year. Then a humidifier. Then with lavender Then he got a dream catcher. Then he got a lamp also. Then he got a book about not being scared of the monster. edited to addThen he got a stuffy that’s weighted and lavender-scented and heats up**Then he started taekwondo so he could defend himself against the bad guys. Now he has to have every inch of his room lit up, and he is STILL crying. He’s been in bed for 3 hours, and he keeps coming downstairs saying he is scared. We haven’t changed any bedtime routines. We’ve all been home since March because my husband and I both got laid off. The ONLY thing that’s changed in the last two weeks is I had surgery last Friday. Guys, I’m at such a loss. He is so tired, so all day, he acts out. But he won’t sleep because he’s scared. I am at a total loss. Sos, please…
I’d let him sleep with you or even go in his bed til he falls asleep
I know it may not be ideal…but have you tried sleeping in his room with him?
Can you move his mattress in your room on the floor? Or maybe you into his room for a short duration, and explain you’ll be there for X days till he feels more comfortable?
What’s he scared of?
Not sure of this is allowed but I gave my daughter zarbees melatonin to help it was so bad that I would let her sleep where ever she fell asleep for months it was the couch she was waking me up 3-4x a night I couldn’t take it anymore
Is there another room he can switch to maybe?
Talk to his doctor. They may be able to refer him to a specialist like a therapist or someone in that field that can get to the root of his fear.
Zarbees has great products…
I would avoid this at all costs till it’s the last resort, but can you bring him to your room? On a cot, or floor
Let him sleep in your room.
First- go to doctor to rule out a sleep disorder
Second- consider that there’s something about his room causing a phobia. Try having him sleep in another room. Does that change his fear?
If not, dare I say without ridicule, maybe there’s something in his room that you cannot see but he does aka a ghost 
Walmart has children’s melatonin and it works wonders for my kiddo
Let him sleep with you!
A nightlight thing that projects swirling stars on the ceiling,.something he can focus on, and don’t forget the monster spray
He has to be prayed for especially the spirit of fear also the spirits assigned to him so they will be cast out.
Maybe his room is haunted. Let him bunk with you
Sleep study maybe
Maybe he has night terrors!
I’d let him sleep w you. He’s still young
Put a camera in his room - something is scaring him. I know this sounds crazy, but there could be an malevolent energy in the room that he can feel. Kids are more sensitive-has anyone died in the house? After my mother died, I put her rocker in my back bedroom, my son and his friend were terrified when they saw orbs in the room. I donated the chair and the orbs stopped… you might also try moving his bed into your room and see if he resists bedtime then… is he only scared in his room?
Did you ask him what he’s scared of?
Have you tried laying down in there until he falls asleep?
Maybe try keeping a calendar and mark all the days nothing scary happened, so he can physically see nothing is happening.
Do you ask him every morning how he slept and how his night was. Communication is really the key to finding out why he doesn’t want to sleep in his room.
Let him sleep in your room I know it doesnt seem ideal, but he wont sleep with ya forever.
If you would like privacy still and also want to make him feel better, maybe melatonin and just letting him sleep in the living room or something with a tv on so he is still getting rest and he doesn’t sleep with you too long and get used to that and never be able to sleep on his own.
I’ve seen spirits and demons when I was a kid. I don’t see them anymore I’m scared of the dark still though cause of that.
Melatonin and a warm bath
Read fervent prayer and pray over him every day
Try a TV and kid movies? Worked with my daughter when she was little.
Unpopular opinion but sage the room. Maybe there’s some bad juju in the room that needs to be gone. Is his speech good? Has he expressed exactly why he’s afraid? My son had a phase of being scared (also 5) and we made our very own monster spray (Pinterest has great tips) I bought a bottle of febreeze…removed the sticker so it was a plain bottle and we decorated it with monster stickers…took a sharpie and labeled it monster spray. Before bed he would spray it wherever he was afraid and it helped.
possibly anxiety, talk to his doctor. also if possible try switching his room. get a video monitor for his room and watch it. also try the ‘monster spray’.
He’s probably scared cause he probably had a bad nightmare about you and your surgery. Try and talk to him about his feelings. Have him draw out his feelings on what scares him in his room. Have him try sleeping on the couch then carry him to his bed. Even tho to you and your spouse your surgery was minor to a 3 year old it’s traumatic because they will think mommy’s not coming back especially if it’s a overnight where you had to spend the night at the hospital
Do you have a dog?
My son was like that for a short time until I explained to him that the dogs would never let any bad person or monster ever hurt us.
We have a German Shepherd and a husky so I showed him videos if dogs defending their family and he completely changed from that point on. All I had to do was leave his bedroom door cracked open so the dogs could get in if he needed them.
I’d definitely arrange an appointment with your doctor- there may be underlying issues.
Kids melatonin was a life saver for my daughter and myself
Your child most likely isn’t terrified for no reason. First, take him to the doctor. If night terrors and a sleeping disorder are ruled out…think about what he consumes during the day. Is he watching anything even remotely scary on TV? (When I was 6, I watched a scary movie without knowing what it was and I had nightmares for a decade afterward, no joke). If you can rule that out, ask him to try and explain why he is scared to go to bed. You can also try melatonin, but don’t keep him on it for too long (ask his doctor).
Have you tried weighted blanket?
Did you check into the possibility that he saw or heard something in the dark during the night that scared him.Did he see someone who was a stranger at all.Give him a pad of paper and crayons and ask him to draw pictures maybe you’ll see something in them or maybe a counselor could.I wish you luck,I walked in my sleep until I was quite old and it became a problem,then all the sudden I stopped.Never did find out why.let me know what happens I’m interested??
What happened while you were gone who watched him?
This lamp is amazing. I have it for my baby. You can control it from your phone. I would sleep with him a few nights in his room and see if you notice anything out of the ordinary.
Fisher-Price Smart Connect Deluxe Soother Amazon.com : Fisher-Price Baby Sound Machine Deluxe Smart Connect Soother, Customizable Music Lights & Timers for Newborns Ages 0+ Months : Toys & Games
he could be seeing spiritual things or engery. My son was the same way I blessed the house with white sage and he was fine.
Kids hear and see what we can’t. Poor baby. Sage the room.
Melatonin and have him lay with you until he’s sleep which shouldn’t take long. Might need a psychiatrist or sleep study done to help him as well.
Change his room around. Move the bed, paint the walls. Ask him what exactly is scaring him. Is it easier to draw? To talk about? Have him show you where in the room. Like said earlier, maybe it really is something. Empower him. Have him tell it to go away, its not welcomed. Have him shout it. Its his room, not whAtever it is. Show him he has the power.
Following. Please keep us updated! Praying for you and your little 
My daughter slept with us until she was 6, she’s been in her own bed for a couple months now. She’s ADD and has a very hard time winding down, her pediatrician has given permission to give melatonin, although I don’t do it nightly. I also use something very low dose with more natural ingredients than anything. The cat, or dog, will sleep with her most nights.
I recently struggled with the same thing. My son is going to be 8 in March. June of this year he started freaking out at bed time, he would cry and beg me not to go to sleep, he was scared and would tell me he didn’t want to close his eyes. I had to physically sleep with him or he had to sleep with me and if I left the room, he’d wake up to find me, it was months of HELL. Keep in mind, his Dad and I are separated and he slept fine at Dads. I felt like I tried everything.
I did so much “google” research that I finally called my doctor to see if he could be tested for a sleep disorder (he has enlarged adenoids) so I thought maybe this could be a cause.
I told my son he was going to the doctor and he seemed annoyed. My DR advised against melatonin or any sleep aid for that matter and told me to give him “tough love” for a little while, which was hard at the beginning.
Baby steps, he slept for a week on the couch outside my room by himself, then he graduated to upstairs on the couch for a week and he’s now been back in his room, in his bed for an entire week, no more waking up.
I can’t tell you what happened, but I think making him face his fears proved to him how brave he is and he can do hard things with guidance. I don’t know if it was a phase, but it was 5 months of sleep deprivation and I don’t wish it upon anyone.
I’m not even sure if this will
help, just wanted to share you’re not alone. Stay strong Momma!
This may be overthinking but you could never be too cautious… you said it started this last week, and you also said you had surgery last Friday… surgery can be from return home same day to maybe a night to two away from home before being discharged. Was he with another family member, friend, etc. while you had surgery? I hate to think like this but know it all to well… but sometimes those are little signs of a sexual assault. Trust me like I said I hate to think like that but most cases of this is from people we have as close friends and family. Sometimes they don’t know how to talk about it since they’re not. I’m hoping this isn’t the case and I’m being a worry bug…
Try a happy movie before bed and weighted blanket
Lay down with him, hold him, talk to him about whatever he wants to as he falls asleep feeling safe with you or daddy there with him.
He is only this age once!
Put a camera in his room, he could be suffering from sleep paralysis or something. May even be a sleep walker, I use to have nightmares and to this day still have sleep paralysis
Try cuddling him or holding him in his bed or yours until he falls asleep…
Have you tried prayer? It sounds so simple, but it does work. It may sound silly, but perhaps he is sighted. I am and it was challenging as a child. I didn’t understand the gifts I was walking in. Perhaps a talk with the father, requests for protection and comfort.
I don’t know if you believe in God but my son was having horrible dreams of demons type monsters getting him and we prayed over his room and our house and his dreams and such we did it nightly and he started sleeping much better
Water spray bottle with a natural scent of choice. This is now your bad guy/monster spray. Nothing will enter his room if you spray it around. Worked a treat with all 3 of my kids
Hes SCARED. You need to find out what is scaring him. Kids are more prone to ghost/demons etc. Start there 
Plus hes only 5, let him sleep in your bed with you. I promise it wont hurt anything.
I know this may sound silly but we made this monster spray.
My son has needed a light on or needs to see everything too or else he won’t sleep. He’s 8. I’m fine with night lights. I just don’t want the ceiling light on. Anyway, a few years ago I bought a necklace that was had a Viking symbol on it. It’s a symbol for protection or something like that. I bought it for myself. He begged for it when I told him what it was. He wore it for months to bed. Still sometimes grabs it to wear at night. Maybe something like that will help especially if it comes with a description of what it is/does?
Also, I would question if anyone hurt him at bedtime. Touched in wrong places? I know it may be hard to believe but if someone has watched him at night, or even his father, they could be doing something to him. I know every child is different in reactions, but if he’s acting that terrified of bedtime then it’s always better to ask your son if anyone has done anything to him and that he can tell you if someone does.
Give him a reward for staying in his room. For my son, allowing him to have a sugar cereal for breakfast worked
Make up a special spray bottle, put water in it and say this is Magic spray! To help you sleep. It makes all the bad feelings go away. Sit with him till he sleeps if that helps. They are only little once, cherish the moments.
Could he be having breathing problems? Apnea in children is rarer but it does happen. A lack of oxygen can lead to a whole gamut of issues including him not resting enough and having night terrors.
This article sums it up pretty well, but the American Sleep Apnea Assc Has tons of info on their site.
We are a religious household. Was raised in the church. I know this is not for everyone. I do believe the devil & his demons prey on the innocent & there very well could be something scaring him. I pray over my children numerous times a day. Religious or not, there is a spiritual realm & not all of it is good.
Everyone don’t kill me but is there a possibility someone is hurting him? He could be associating bedtime with being hurt because a lot of times that’s when it happens. This could be anyone… dad, brother, sister, friend always always remember it could be the person you least expect. I would definitely talk to him about this.
Let him fall asleep in your bed and then carry him to his
Ask him why he’s scared. What is he seeing or hearing? Don’t belittle his experiences, make sure you keep an open mind. Does he go in his room during the day or is it just at night he doesn’t want to be in there?
Who was he with while you had surgery?
If it was my son… I would hold him at night rock him, stay and sleep with him so he knows he is not alone and get him a child therapist ASAP! Something is sketchy and it’s your job to figure it out. Don’t rule out anything. I don’t want to scare you but it sounds familiar to something my sister went through. There are lots of other things it could be… I would just make sure I figured it out. Child play therapy is a great step. Good luck for you and your baby boy! I will pray for him!
Has he accidentally watched scary movies
You need to sage your house and read psalms 91 while doing so. Look up smudging and sagging kids have a different frequency than we do because of there innocence and can sense and see things we can not.
Idk how long your stay was with surgery if it was same day or overnight etc but i know i myself have a 3 year old son who has slept in his own room since about 6 months old (for the most part) but here ovtober 24th I was rushed to the hospital due to a ruptured ectopic pregnancy resulting in a tube removal surgery and had to stay the weekend in the hospital (the longest hes ever been away from me hes only ever stayed 1 night away from me at a time at grandparents before) and when I came home he would not go to his own room he also freaks out if i have to go to the dr now and I personally think its because his grandma he was with that weekend while dad came to visit me had told him I was at the dr becauze there wasnt a better way to let him know what was going on given the circumstances. I just got him to sleep in his own room again (most nights hell sleep all night a few nights hes come to my bed) about 2 weeks ago.
No sugary snacks or drinks 2 hrs before bedtime.
Clean the entire room- baseboards, the mattress, corners, ceiling fan blades, under the bed, window frames & blinds.
Sage the room.
Maybe it is not his room, maybe it is the fear of abandonment?
Find a peaceful meditation video to listen to together, breathing & relaxing together to wind down.
Pray out loud together.
Is there something outside a window that creates a shadow inside the room, or scratches the side of the house?
Does he prefer the closet door open or shut?
Do not use tough love here- his fear sounds too strong, tough love could traumatize him 
Warm shower to inhale the steam or a bath with epsom salt to detox & a soft massage with lavender/chamomile lotion while singing soft lullabies.
Read his favorite book every single night, the more routine your nights are, the better.
Massaging essential oils on the temples for sleep can help too.
& this one may sound odd but try cutting lemons in half, & place them in an open bowl next to the bed.
No screen time (tablets/phones/tvs) 1 hr before bedtime.
When I was little my mom had
pneumonia & was in the hospital for several days. I remember crying every night because I thought she was going to die. Maybe he has a little ptsd if you were gone from your home?
Has he drawn any pictures of what is scaring him?
Let him fall asleep in the living room…n monitor his sleep n see what’s scaring him
Sounds like you have tried everything… Sounds like he needs some meds
Something has happened to him at night. May not have been at your house. I would take him to a counselor if he won’t or can’t tell you.
You may have asked him this several times but if not have you asked him “why or what” scares him? The surgery could deff set some more internal fear of maybe losing you off? But it’s been on going. Have you tried sitting outside his room? My 5 yr old isn’t as scared but she goes through phases . I let her know I still kiss her goodnight and check on her all night long even though she’s sleeping (it’s true. My kids don’t sleep I’m up on and off all hours through the night and always check on them all)
I would sage his room then the rest of his room.
My 5 year old son was fine up until recently and now he tells me scared to go to bed at night. So I lie at the foot of his bed until he falls asleep. I also have a Google Nest in there and play relaxing music very low until he falls asleep (only takes about 10 mins or so). Then I go to my room.
Smack his arse and tell him to go back to bed he’ll soon learn
I made “monster be gone” spray bottle with water
Before my kids go to bed I spray the room. Monsters are gone 
Sage the room and get a spray bottle of water with a strong scented perfume and label it Monster B Gone. Ask him where it needs sprayed to make the room safe.
Sit next to his bed and hold his hand i did this with one of mine. I did this for a bit and then started the process of moving out of his room no holding hand then after a few days i would move across the room and sit by the dore did this for a week or so then i would sit in the hall eventually he was ok
Hold him. Let him sleep in your arms in your bed. They’re only young for such a short time. He is clearly terrified of something and there is no safer place than mommas arms.
Is there a reason he doesn’t wanna go to bed? Have you tried talking to him? About why? And what he might be afraid of? Or possibly who?
Could you let him sleep with you or someone else in the family?
It’s just a stage, I promise you. I wouldn’t say it’s his room, sounds like he doesn’t want to be alone to sleep. Their imaginations are over-active at this age also so he’s probably visualizing all sorts of things in his head that scare him. It will pass, just keep him comfortable in the mean time-sounds like you have that covered. I know it’s exhausting.
*I just thought of night terrors, I would definitely have him fall asleep with you or near another trusted family member. If you’re worried about not being able to break the habit of sleeping with his parents down the road, it’s not a thing, he will not always want to sleep in your bed lol
When he feels secure, he’ll sleep on his own.
I personally went through this as a child. I would never stay the night at friends houses, I legit paid my older sisters to sleep on their floors, I snuck into my parents room. I cried and cried and cried. They tried everything from a therapist to tough love (taking all my furniture besides a mattress and pillow and blankets) literally nothing worked. I did this up into the 5th grade. Then it just stopped.
Sitting here now as an adult, I truly have ZERO clue what I was scared of. It brings me to tears when I think of it because I wish I knew. I would cry for HOURS. Like I question how I didn’t get tired every single night, crying. So I know I had to have been scared of something but I have zero clue what scared me so bad.
I hope you’re able to get the answers you need & are looking for. My worst fear as a momma is my children going through the same thing. Good luck. 
Sage, have home blessed, no scary or violent movies, tv show or music1 hour before bedtime. Only non violent soothing shows. Those helped my kids when they were young.
HIS ROOM IS NOW CLEAN two SPIRITS came visiting they went to gods kingdom. Amene
When my son gets scared we light some sage and smudge his room. He yells go away scarys and walks around with the smoke. Usually goes to bed pretty good after
Try playing classical music or li’l Einstein, Mozart music…my son used to be scared of sleeping alone at your son’s age (19 now) - i would have to stay with him and cuddle until he fell asleep! He slowly got out of that habit around 9 or 10- turns out he has anxiety disorder, I took him to a pediatric neurologist who diagnosed him and it helped… good luck - its not easy now but it will pass / have him nap in the daytime, it should help 
My son is 5. Very big imagination at that age and lots of new fears. It’s very common and some kids are more sensitive than others. Make sure he is safe and ok in life and when that is all checked out start talking to him about imagination and what’s real and what isn’t real.
It’s the surgery. My daughter is 8 and I had a hysterectomy 3 months ago & was kept over night. Even though I’m fine she sleeps with me. My mom passed 2 years ago so anytime I go to a doctor or something she freaks out.
Sounds like he has some intense anxiety. Reach out to his pcp for a recommendation/referral to a pediatric therapist.
Have you tired video baby monitors my daughter has always slept with me (she just turned 5) and when we got pregnant with our second baby this year we moved her into her room and that helped her knowing I could see and hear her and talk to her to! The one we have also plays lullabies and nature sounds.
We did “monster spray” and sprayed it around the room before my daughter went to bed, the monsters couldn’t stand the smell of it so they stayed out of her room.
It was water with lavender, but you could use a different scent
I was like this until about 18 to be honest.
Maybe a WHO is he afraid of.
Listen you can do everything but if hes scared then that will dominate, just make him a place on the couch and let him pass out then carry him to bed , hopefully he will sleep thu and after waking up ok each day it might get better.
Have you asked him why he’s afraid? My son went through something like this where he woke up screaming every few hrs. We got him a spray bottle with monster repellent and that worked for a while when it stopped working we got him a yoshi toy (he loves mario) and yoshis job is to eat all the bad guys and bad thoughts to keep him happy and safe
My son did this, he was scared someone woild break in. No idea why as we had never been broken into. Eventually we let the dog sleep on his bed and he was fine after that.
Kids are sensitive to certain energies … spirits, malevolent presence etc
Ask why he is afraid. Is it only his bedroom? Get a camera see if there’s more to it…
Move the bed see if he still resists .
Good luck mama xx
Sounds like this is an ongoing problem with no abatement times, and only getting worse. I’d get him to a child psychiatrist/psychologist for an assessment to rule out abuse and get to the root of what is terrifying him.
Also I’d allow him to sleep with you (either in your room or in your bed) so both of you could get some rest. Soon enough he will be able to sleep in his room again, maybe 6 months to resolve things.
What are the sleeping arrangements at his dad’s house? Who has access to your son besides you and his father? Does he sleep OK outside his room? All the stuff you’re doing seems like a temporary fix & it is not getting to the root of his fears or solving—or even mitigating—them.
Sounds silly, I went to the pharmacy and asked them to make a label called Monster repellant. They did. We added sparkles to water and every night we sprayed the room. We also created a “tool belt” out of fabric that was magically and created every tool my daughter needed to fight her night terrors. It took a few weeks to be honest but the new bedtime routine worked. She had awful night terrors and peed the bed too… she thought there was a man with no legs that was coming to steal hers. We had to think outside the box and equip her with means to work through it. Good luck Momma, its not easy. But maybe it would help. The Pediatrician was on board with what we did and it did eventually help
You said he has a dream catcher…maybe he is afraid that the dream catcher caught a bad dream he had and he’s afraid it there waiting for him to go to sleep. Hey it’s just a thought. You have to think on their level. Good luck !
My son is doing the same thing so we got a stick and made a wand out of it so he could have magic powers to send the zombies away then we had to get a spray bottle for " monster" spray with water and body spray so it’s scented and he sprays the room and goes how do you like that haha he also has a crystal that he sleeps with under his pillow to protect from bad dreams and a stuffy that winds up and plays a lullaby it has been 5 months or so and he would still come down almost every night so hubs and I caved and switched rooms so hopefully this works! Trial and error mama you’ll find something that helps!!
Might have night terror