I have two sons a pre-teen son who is on the small side and a younger one who is going to be 6’+ when he’s older. My oldest is struggling hard core right now. He is the shortest boy in the middle school at 4’7” but of course has a personality larger than life. He loves playing sports but is bullied for his size and made to feel insignificant. On the home front he is made to feel insignificant while at his Dad’s. He asks his Dad if he can spend time with friends and his Dad’s reply is “we’ll talk about it.” I have him in therapy but he broke down tonight crying that no amount of talking to adults makes it better. He talked about how other kids don’t have a parent that beats on them and why can’t he be normal. I’m heart broken. I have zero proof of his Dad hitting him but his distraught is wearing him down. I could use any and all advice. I’m at a loss as to how to help beyond continuing his therapy sessions.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My son is the shortest boy in middle school and struggling
My now 19 year old was really short until 11th grade year. He grew a foot. He’s now 6ft from 5’2. He may catch up.
When he goes dad put small camera on him somewhere
Working your whole life just to enjoy a few years when you’re close to death is one of the biggest scams. Put your money to work in Marilyn Eleanor Anstey platform so one day your money works so hard for you that you don’t have to work anymore. Don’t leave all your money sleeping in your bank account, keep a couple of months’ worth of expenses as an emergency fund and make sure to put the rest to work!
See your doctor about your short son. They can give human growth hormone to increase his adult height. It is important for his happiness and future success that you do this.
Wow. Some of these comments are questionable at best.
The best thing he can do is own it. I know it’s hard, especially at that age…but there’s not much that can be done. So long as his Dr isn’t concerned, I wouldn’t be.
One of my best friends is a 26 year old male and he’s 5’4. We call him Tiny B (last name inital).
Bring short is one thing that can’t really help you cant help I also have a son who’s also very short and in middle school but the fact that he’s saying his dad is beating on him please take that super serious he’s telling you something that he was afraid to tell everyone else
Boys grow at a different pace. High school year is usually when they go through a crazy growth stage…
Now about the dad. I would find out what he does if there are bruises have pictures taken before he leaves and when he gets back, have some write in a journal when it takes place what happens. You want proof you find a way. Yes your son should not feel this way at all but it will get harder before they get better.
The dad is way more concerning than school. Words of “your still growing it takes time to comfortable with everything your body experiences but give it time” educate him on how male body go through so he gets he isn’t done growing… the dad I would handle maybe that is why he is so down and out and believing he is not good enough because he doesnt “fit” into someone idea of how someone should look.
Look back when did the bullying actually start and does it connect back to when issues came up with the dad…
The dad beating on him is the biggest issue here! Take him to the police station, CPS, or hospital and have him report it. Talk to CPS and the police about getting an emergency protection order so he doesn’t have to go back until it’s been investigated. Also have them talk to your younger son to make sure he’s not being abused as well and to see if he’s seen anything! Protecting your son should be priority number 1!
Umm I wouldn’t need proof. That’s your baby. Believe your kid regardless
My son was also the shortest in class. He turned 15 and wow what a growth spurt. 6’ 2 and it seemed like it happened over night.
What about getting him a mentor at his school?
I have a cousin who was smaller then me till we hit 13 they he grew . Hes over 6ft now
I’ve a nephew with small parents who was given growth hormone because he was under average height for his age…made him around 5ft 7 eventually…
Genetics plays a part…because parents are small does not necessarily mean their children will be .
Ask the Dr what they think. He can still grow unless his growth plates are closed…usually around puberty 13/17 yo…
His Father hitting him …not acceptable at all. Ask him whats happening and why
Pics of any unexplained bruising when he returns home . Contact the police and report it
At his age he will be listened to in court
Father cant claim its discipline if your son says he’s being beaten
My son was the shortest until his junior year and then he shot up. Males can also grow into their 20’s. Kids are cruel, he will either have to ignore it or stand up for himself- my son did both. The thing with his dad, your son should tell his therapist. By law, the therapist has to report it.
Get him. Shoes that add height there everwhere PRINCE wore high heeled boots becouse of his size
I understand how it hurts as a mom to watch your kid be picked on for something out of his control. As I mentioned in an earlier comment my (now) 25 year old son grew a FOOT in high school despite the fact that his pediatrician told us he likely wouldn’t grow to more than 5’5”. We enrolled him in martial arts which did wonders for his self esteem.
But THAT isn’t the biggest concern. Your son is telling you his father beats him. Finding out what is going on THERE is CRITICAL right now! If he’s already seeing a therapist, he NEEDS to talk to him/her about what’s going on with his dad. His therapist is a mandated reporter and is legally REQUIRED to report any QUESTION of abuse to have it be investigated. While your son’s therapy should ABSOLUTELY be confidential- if you are concerned that he’s not bringing it up- you can tell the therapist what your son said. The therapist will know how to broach it with your son
He needs to speak up if his dad is hitting him he needs to tell the therapist so she can report it or you have proof to file a police report. I wouldn’t spend him anymore
Sit with your son and his father and let your son tell him how he makes him feel. If his father continues or blows it off don’t force him to go. Your son needs to feel comfortable when he is “home” no matter if its yours or his.
Son said it. Report to protective service. Let them sort it out.
It’s tough being the shortest kid in his grade so is my grandson. Find something he can succeed in despite if his height. Discuss successful men who were not tall. And then there are the late bloomers
Take care of the abuse first! Then worry about him being short. I think the self esteem of the abuse is going to break him down that much quicker. Talk with cps. If he is in middle school. He is old enough to report the abuse. Have him go talk to a school counselor. They are mandatory reporters for abuse!!
First, if he is telling you dad is beating him, you don’t need physical proof! Get that baby out of that situation NOW.
Second, he will grow. My son is 13. He’s one of the smallest kids in his school (6th-8th - he is in 7th) and the smallest on his football team. For the longest time, he was tiny. 12 years old, wearing size 8/10 clothes. In the last year, he has shot up. We have had to buy him new clothes and shoes every few months. He’s still only 4’11” and barely 100lbs, but he’s hit a growth spurt and his pediatrician expects another one in high school.
My husband was 4’11 when he graduated high school at 18. When I met him a year later was was 5’7. Both my boys had late growth spurts as well but was never as short as their Dad. One is 5’10 and one is about 6’0. It sounds like you need to determine if he is being verbally, mentally or physically abused while with his dad.
Helping him accept himself and love himself is most important. He needs to be taught not to allow others opinions of him become or affect his own. It’s super hard, and he’s going to need a lot of support. (I have been going through this with 2 of my children. Male and Female.) Kids can be mean, and will find anything to pick on or poke fun of others.
Have you talked to his Dr. about his height concerns? I wouldn’t lead him with promises that he will get tall or anything like that. I’d discuss this with his Dr. they can give an estimated height when reaching adulthood.
There’s an X-ray that you can ask his Dr. about that can see if his growth plates are still open, and ask their advice from there.
Also regarding your sons emotions and feelings… make sure he feels heard and supported. That his feelings are validated.
And make sure he has coping skills he can use and is comfortable using when he’s feeling defeated.
Maybe therapy sessions that include his father in a safe setting, so he’s father can hear from your son how his behavior is affecting him. And so his father can learn to do better to support your son.
(I also hope that if there is abuse going on your son gets the protection and support he needs and deserves.)
Have a doctor check up. They can have HGT shots if a certain height expectation is shown.
Maybe a webcam of some sort for abuse allegations?
Short boys that I knew often made up for it with personality plus. Some were funny, some very smart, other charismatic.
I think the more serious issue is him saying he is being beat on by his Dad. Tell his counselor and ask for guidance on what to do.
He feels beat on by his dad. He is at an age to decide to go to court and not visit him. There are other young men who are smaller also. But he is still growing. He should go out and try things to see what he excels at.
The dad beating on him is the biggest issue here. I would def be talking to a counselor or even cps ab that. U need to bring that up in therapy. A spanking is one thing but actually beating him is another. It’s wearing him down . The person that is sopose to help him is making it worse. He will grow u have to assure him of that. He’s not going to be 4’7 forever. Maybe some type of karate they r great w building confidence and learning how to defend theirselves. Some of the best fighters and professional athletes are short. I know it hurts u like hell to watch him go through this. U need to find somethi g he is good at to help his self esteem. Boy scouts is a great program also they have mentors and a way to make great friend. The troops r very accepting of one another .
I suggest getting him in some sort of martial arts like jiu-jitsu ect. Instructors are great with kids
If my son said his dad ever physically (or any other kind of abuse) abused him, I would be on the phone with the police asap
My youngest was 4,5 this year he grew he almost taller then me I’m 5’5 . No one picks on him anymore
My grandson was the shortest kid in his class until he reached middle school. He is now 25 and 6’4.