I am an FTM of a beautiful two-year-old baby boy. I came from a very abusive household with my son’s father and managed to get out and on my own (just my son and i) about five months back. I had taken my son to a therapist last year because my son was very behind with his milestones and said to wait until he was 2 to have him tested as it could just be emotional stress. Well, he turned 2 in January, and today I had him tested. The pediatrician told me he is 99% sure my baby boy has autism. Are there any moms on here that have had something similar? Was any of your children diagnosed with autism and possibly misdiagnosed? Are there any moms who can give me advice on how to make my little boy’s life as comfortable as possible? I’m shattered… How do I raise my son to have the best life possible?
Let him grow being on the spectrum isn’t bad, so development may be delayed, trust me they will make yup for it. Live your son and tell everyone else to fuck off
I don’t have any advice other than check out this family…
Yeah, it sounds sad and depressing at first.
Autism mama speaking, don’t focus on the diagnosis.
Your son has Autism but he isn’t Autism. He will thrive and do great things, whatever it may be in life.
There’s worse things in this world and Autism isn’t one of them.
First autism isn’t the end of the world!
Get him tested they’ll tell you what he needs. But most of all he needs YOU!
- love a mama of a beautiful nonverbal autistic 11 year old son.
I have 2 boys with autism (now 6 and 14). Early intervention is key! My youngest didn’t talk hardly at all until he was close to 4, but with therapy and interventions, you can hardly tell he was behind. Ask for referrals to a developmental pediatrician, ABA therapy, speech, and OT. It can be a rough road to travel, but hang in there, Mama.
My son was tested- he is not autistic. We went through the hospital for children’s therapy services and had their licensed therapists do the testing. Took about 3.5 hours and then they discussed the results. Ask your pediatrician for a referral for a therapist/testing. The test itself wasn’t bad they played had snacks asked him Developmental questions. If he does have autism the therapists will be able to refer therapy and offer a lot of help and support.
He is your son! He will be just fine! Just love him and work with him. Times may get tough but youve got this. First off I think you need to realize this isnt the end of the world. You still have him, he could have something that would take him away from you.
So the biggest thing for you to know is everyones journey and path through this will be different. There will be hard days and good days. My biggest advice is to learn as much as you can. Find support, whether thats family or even support groups online. Also trust your gut along the way. If a treatment plan or doctor or therapist doesnt seem to fit keep trying till you find something that does. You will be your child’s biggest advocate and you need to learn to trust yourself.
Pediatricians aren’t trained to diagnose. Get him tested by a psychologist. If he does have autism, early intervention (ABA, speech, occupational and/or physical therapies) is key. Many autistic people are very high functioning and you wouldn’t even know they have it.
Love him. There is so much hate for autistics in this world, love him like you were already planning to. He will be okay, I was.
Please join some facebook groups ran by actual autistic adults. Autistic, Typing
May I ask what exactly is your son behind or what type of behaviors is making his pediatrician think he has Autism? My step son finally was diagnosed with high functioning Autism at the age of 9. He is a very smart boy but has a hard time in social settings and has a hard time with change.
But it took years for him to be diagnosed, I feel at 2 years old, it is hard to really know.
My cousin has a son that shows some markers for Autism but it might just be taking him a little longer to talk or show the appropriate emotions. He is only 2. Now he is starting speech therapy to help him and go from there.
My daughter was diagnosed at age 2. Early intervention is key. Welcome to therapy life: Occupational, Physical, Speech, Developmental, Feeding, Behavioral, Music, & Equine therapy. We do it all. Leave no stone untouched. Research. Advocate like a mother. Autism is hard some days, but our children are worth the fight. Pro tip: your child’s natural stims/obsessions are very helpful in teaching them to communicate. My kiddo loves musical instruments, and they’ve been a great vehicle for teaching communication. Oh- and remember to be very forgiving towards yourself on this journey- you got this, mama!
Hi I have 2 children with autism one was just under 4 when diagnosed
I’m autistic and I live a full life. I know it’s scary for parents to hear that diagnosis, but tbh, I guarantee you know autistic ppl and don’t realize it. Yeah, we’re more sensitive,but we’re also so very creative and loving.
Please, for all that it’s worth, DO NOT put your child into ABA therapy. It is literally conversion therapy, like some sick fucks do to their gay children, and it is abuse. Love him for who he is, not for what you want him to be.
We are neurodivergent and fucking rock! It’s genetic and simply means our nervous systems and brains are wired differently (like adhd, which he probably has too, they go hand in hand).
Stay away from Autism Speaks and Autism Mom groups. Please. They tend to be militant and all about forcing the child to confirm to “normal” standards.
There are many neurodivergent groups and pages on fb, those are the ones to follow. Neurodivergent Rebel or The Neurodiverse Woman are two of them.
Feel free to creep my profile, it’s public, and you can see get an idea of my life
Educate yourself, get support, you can do this!
I was 16 when I had my son who was diagnosed with autism at age 2 and also escaped an abusive relationship with his father. As an earlier commenter said, early intervention is key. Living in an urban district with autism programming is also essential as smaller districts tend to send out of districts into more restrictive settings due to not having the right supports. You will have to find a balance between pushing for your son beyond what people expect from him but also not more than he can handle. If I had listened to people who insisted he was different and I shouldn’t push him so hard, he would likely have not graduated with his high school diploma which would’ve limited his post school prospects. We live in a world that will try to push him to conform to specific expectations. He needs to be prepared for that but also have an outlet where he can just be himself. People with autism have higher rates of suicide in adulthood due to pressure to conform.
Most importantly, find your own supports. Parenting isn’t easy under any conditions. Being an autism mom heightens the joys but can also heightens the stressors. You need an outlet for yourself and time for yourself. Easier said than done, I know.
Most importantly, you can do this. You are capable and your son is too. More and more kids are diagnosed each year and parents and folks on the spectrum must band together to fight for inclusion and acceptance of neurodiversity.
And remember, many prominent historical figures were on the autism spectrum. A contemporary figure is Temple Grandin. She’s written a lot about what life is like on the spectrum and she even has a doctorate. The motto in the movie that was based off if her life is ‘Different, not less’. Very important to remember.
Follow the page finding cooper’s voice she is amazing and so real! good luck mama
My little guy is 4 now and was diagnosed at 1 and a 1/2.early intervention is key and as pt… He had a few words then regressed. my little guy started school last year with no speech at all and now says many words…thing is autism affect them all in different ways none of them are the same.What can tell you is treat them like any other kid though. You do have to work extra hard for them milstones… this year has been big for my son not only did I hear the words I love you. He now addresses my husband and i as dad and mom <3 He definently autism he has corks and he does different things that you just know he is… but honestly I wouldnt change him if I even could
There are so many opportunities here in AZ. There aRE program’s out there like AZIP which has an option where the specialist comes to your home! The school districts all have Sp.Ed. preschool with specialty teachers and assistants, that is paid for by the State!
You’re his mumma and your gut instinct speaks to you very loudly.Early intervention is the very best thing for him.Our dr told me they can’t diagnose til 6,I’m so glad I took no advice for my granddaughter then her brother 3 years later.Therapy and ot,speech or any other things are the key.My thoughts are they are who they are,as long as they’re happy you’re doing a good job but it isn’t easy.
Education on autism is key…the more you know! Google google google and ask as many questions as come to mind! Every child is different. Take him to a psychologist to be tested. They will then give you recommendations to help your child succeed! Some days can be hard…super hard. But the love makes up for it. And always remember you aren’t alone! Fellow autism mom here
Research, it’s not the end of the world . And a psychologist I believe is the one that actually diagnoses, the pediatrician says whether or not they should go and get tested … but it’s not the end of the world. My 8.5 yr old has autism, diagnosed at 3 , smartest kid ever , verbal , just social side is a little difficult sometimes
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There is so much help out there hold your head up pray about this but you will be a great mother and make the right decisions u did when u took him away of a very bad situation I wish u the best
Big hugs for you, it must have felt scary when you were told this, I hope you have supportive friends and family that can help you as you find out more xxx:heart: as others have said the earlier you can get help and support the better as incorporating small changes and responses can make a big difference later one with things like communication and fine and gross motor skills. Your beautiful boy will be unique, his path may seem tough in this moment but it is best to take one day at a time as knows what strengths he will have or what support he will need in the future, it all changes so quickly!
If you can, find a local support group, it is always wonderful to be able to share experiences and joys with others…
I have a daughter with autism - early intervention was really key in getting her to hit her milestones! When your son gets older to go to school, make sure you are in a district that has good special education programs and therapists to support him as well. I was scared to death when I heard my daughter had autism, but 11 years later she is thriving and getting mostly A’s in school. Our kids can still thrive with the right amount of love and support
I have 2 with autism possibly 3 and I just raise them like I would be other 3. They don’t get treated any diffrent then any other kid and I just make sure they get extra help in school to make sure they are learning proper and they see a therapist once a week to help with any issues they may have. Having autism is not a horrible thing to be diagnosed with especially with the right teachings and therapy.
Autism Inclusivity is a great group. Hearing from autistic adults has been such a huge help for me with my 2 year old autistic son. I’ve learned so much that I would have never known about the autistic community. My little boy is thriving since I’ve been following their advice.
Neighbor’s son with Aspergers and slight schizophrenia was shy, wouldn’t look you in the eye, some quirks as a kid like being standoffish, pulling out his hair, easily overwhelmed. He now is still somewhat shy, but socializes, has had girls chase him, is working on a third college degree (agonizes over his studying, can be dramatic, but then gets the highest scores in the class), has held a job where he was a beloved and valued employee and kept clients happy (the owner came to think of him as a son and heir).
Fighting for support during school is key. In the lower grades he had assigned companions to carry his backpack and take notes, was able to get teachers to give him recordings of classes for reinforcement. Also lots of therapy. Interestingly enough, one little girl became his protector and would intimidate anyone who tried to make fun of him in elementary school!
His mom also is on the spectrum. She is a certified genius, has graduate degrees, a job that pays over 6 figures. In addition to her demanding work and raising her two sons, she has multiple side businesses (10,000 original designs on Spoonflower site, her own jewelry line, catering, web design, etc.). Plus she sews amazing things, has done her own landscaping (including a fish pond w fountain), grows her own herbs and is a master gardener, does be design, building and remodeling on her homes, reads medical texts for fun, her undergrad degree was biophysics. She rarely attended college classes but would ace all the tests. Ballet jazz dancer at one point too.
She is an outspoken introvert. Will come over and talk your ear off nonstop, then you won’t see her for weeks. She makes a conscious effort to be thoughtful but hates to be touched, hates to travel. Blue belt in karate, former ROTC (she quit though), had a pet wolf growing up (), gets along with animals better than people. Married & had boyfriends after her divorce, but seems to find accomplished men who use her, so in that aspect she is not successful. But that’s true of many women, not just those on the spectrum!
As is typical, both mom & son can be very literal, naive, and have trouble deciphering facial and verbal cues & body language. So be extra vigilant for your child in person and online.
Housemate who may never have been diagnosed, pretty clear Aspergers though. Quirky, but was in the Army for years, worked for the airlines & was beloved for his “Minnesota nice.” Routine was insanely important to him. Ate the same thing almost every meal, watched DVDs of favorite TV shows over & over (Perry Mason, Murder, She Wrote, etc). Learned the right phrases to say to be in customer service, went on the same trips every year at the same time, but was adventurous and made all arrangements himself: visited more national parks than Ken Burns, would travel on his own, rent a car, and set his own itinerary. Visited his mom same time twice a year, spent every New Year’s in NYC, Thanksgiving at the Officers Club every year. Any deviation from routine would upset and agitate him. Managed his own meds & insulin for diabetes until he had a stroke in his 50s.
Had a very few friends, but almost never went out unless it was a work lunch or dinner, but was not unhappy being alone much of the time. Would happily talk on the phone, read messages on Facebook, receive cards and letters, but never initiated calls or responded. Before I knew him he worked out at the local rec center too. Did have to be encouraged to bathe and change his clothes, could not sort things from largest to smallest, some other seemingly simple tasks baffled him. Also could talk your ear off without a break, then leave abruptly and wouldn’t have another talking jag for weeks. But could spout information from memory about almost anything in history or about cities.
So what I’m saying is with your support your child can achieve great educational milestones, hold a great job, contribute to society, have a spouse and children, achieve great things and have a great life. There will be bumps on the road, and you will have to fight as all parents of children with differences, but there are also many rewards.
Speaking from experience, first step should be a pediatric neurology exam. They can give you more insight. It certainly isn’t easy to hear there’s something wrong with your child but your love for your child will know no bounds. You are strong. You already did the hardest thing you could do by leaving your husband. Take a deep breath get him seen by a pediatric neurologist and go from there. Most school districts are responsible for education of children at 3 years old if they have a diagnosed disability. Please don’t waste any time getting him help. It has worked wonders for my son.
My advice is to follow Diary of a Mom because Jess and her family are fabulous. Click over to her blog and read “Welcome to the Club” then go from there. Follow and listen to autistic adults, as they are the experts in children with autism, what they feel and need.
My nephew has autism. I think the best thing you can do is do autism research in your area and you will find there are learning centers and therapist that specialize with helping autistic children. The most need I have noticed with my nephew is needing a therapist to learn how to handle emotions. So definitely find a good therapist. Don’t get frustrated with his slow learning. I noticed that school made a huge difference for my nephew and he just goes to a public school right now. You see the thing is I don’t know what those austism schools cost or if covered by insurance or what. You can find out though. It would likely cost different where you are living anyway.
Megan Pathic any advice for this momma?
With my son Jayden I knew before he was 1. The doctor kept brushing it off till finally I had enough and made an appointment when he was 4. They should send a referral through to a specialist and hunny. It’s a very long, emotionally exhausting, process. You will cry a lot. You will be angry, what set me off is not only was he diagnosed with autism so was his twin brother. There is a lot of help out there, look into the free diapers program through your insurance. There is so much help out there you just have to try really hard. Good luck with everything. Get ready for a lot of paperwork
My son has autism but very high functioning but he also have cyst on the brain . So idk if he really have autism or it’s his cyst on his brain
I didn’t think they could diagnose that soon.
Sorry to jump in can I ask the traits your son had please, as I am at the beginning of the journey my boy is 20 months old
Don’t be shattered. I have two kids (9 and 3) that have autism. They allowed me to view the world from a different perspective. They’re also the most loving children I’ve ever met. They may have some issues, but they get through them.
Be their voice. Find the right supports. Love them with all your heart. They’ll be fine.
My son was diagnosed at 2 years. We also noticed he wasn’t hitting milestones. As early as eating jar baby food we could tell he was very picky. Then we noticed he did alot of hand flapping motions. He also liked to line up his toys in a row and get low to the ground to play or look at them. As he got older, he disliked many foods. He is 8 and even now he will only eat a handful of the same foods. Its a texture thing with him. We started early intervention and he went to a school specifically for autism children. The therapies they provided helped. He now goes to a public school but is in a special class. He is doing wonderful. It was tough to hear the diagnosis at first but its not the end of the world. Just give him all the love and support you can😊
A specialist will be able to determine and properly diagnose his condition. I would recommend visiting a mental health office and speaking with them. They will get him set up with who he needs to see. Sometimes multiple disorders can present similar characteristics. You can either ask your pediatrician for a referral or locate a psychologist yourself
My wee girl is 5 an has autism, I dint treat her any different from my niece or nephew. They are the same as us some might be behind but you just continue in doing what your doing an learn him the same way you have. Don’t ever treat your child different becus he has a diagnosis. There’s alot of sensory things you can get now like the very popular poppits my daughter plays with hers alot as she needs to have something in her hands at all times. She’s advanced an is of a child who should be in p3 an not p1, shes a smart girl am knows way more than what she should but honestly don’t panic just keep doing what your doing an you will get thru it my inbox is open if you wanna chat in private. We knew from she was 2 she had it an they diagnosed her over a year ago. Some kids are different from others an theres certain stages of it.