Just be there. You don’t have to pay money to someone to be there. Just be there. Let him talk. And listen.
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Coming from a teen mom who has an unsupportive parent, SUPPORT HIM. MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE ITS OKAY. My father is THE MOST UNSUPPORTIVE person of me and my daughter. He refuses to let my daughters father even be in her life. Her father isnt even on her birth certificate because of him. My father told me to get an abortion. And now i fully support my kid ON MY OWN BECAUSE MY FATHER DECIDED IT WAS GONNA BE THAT WAY FOR ME. Support him. Please.
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As a mother of an adopted baby over 40 years ago, I would suggest Counseling. If they are not in love or ready to be responsible parents adoption is a possibility. I have always been thankful that my daughter’s biological parents gave their baby up for adoption.
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Why are you guys attacking this lady? She is absolutely right. They need to face the consequences of their actions. I say get a dna test, if this is his baby then be a loving grandma to this baby who didnt ask to be here, but the parents need to figure it out pn their own.
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At 21 he should be smart enough to do what it takes to not have a child. Since he didn’t maybe you should teach him to be responsible and ask the woman what she wants. They are both adults. You really don’t get a choice in the matter
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Tell him to make sure it’s his. Get a DNA. Some women are sneaky and conniving and will lie just to keep a man. And the moment he signs the birth certificate, he’s pretty much stuck.
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You stand by his side 100% an accept the decision they make. I believe they should live together married or not. Don’t give up on your children
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You can’t make that decision for him. He’s an adult. It’s not about them anymore. If he loves her and they want to get married who are you to stand in their way. If he’s old enough to get her pregnant he’s old enough to step up and be a man!!
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Help him and her navigate getting jobs and an apartment if they want to live together, or negotiate a parenting agreement if they don’t.
Help them get signed up for services like WIC and SNAP during her maternity leave time.
Offer to help with the baby shower.
Offer to take the baby, or watch the baby while they sleep after it comes.
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Hes grown. But before he throws himself into a marriage I feel he still needs to date her and decide if he wants to be with her. He doesn’t have to be married to be a good or even great father. If he decides he doesn’t want to be with her, support it either way. He needs to get a job if he doesn’t have one and enforce it more as he is going to have responsibilities regardless if he wants to have a relationship with her. Support him and the child. But first, I would also suggest a paternity test just in case also. Don’t let him sign the birth certificate without one. I think you got this. And I hope he is willing to take on the responsibility and not be that kind of guy. Sit down and talk to him tonsee where is head is about this whole thing. I would support him. See about looking into helping him more independently. Good luck mama.
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Just support where you can. Having a baby is hard enough.
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Does it matter if they married or not and have you spoken to them to what they want before posting on here for a bunch of strangers to give you answers as a mother you should already know what you need to do
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Really… yeah his actions have consequences. What are you gonna do? Bust his ass:joy:
21 is a grown man. He knows he made a baby. You dont have to make him understand anything. Either you love and support him emotionally or you dont deal with it at all and walk away(not what i would suggest). Also he doesn’t need for you to think its ok for him to get married. If you condemn him every step of the way all you will do is push him away. Sorry if i seem snappy but this situation just hits pretty close to home for me.
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Sorry but you don’t sound very supportive at all. You won’t have them live with you ECT. You don’t want them to get married. This is your grandchild. Are you going to turn your back on your grandchild sounds like you might. I think there’s heaps to this story you ain’t telling us
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Everyone is stuck on you not wanting to support them financially. There’s other ways to support them. You can be there for them. There will be emotional ups & downs. Offer advise only when asked. Please don’t shove your parenting style or beliefs on then. It’ll only tear you away from your son & grandchild. Could likely cause too much stress on their relationship & keep your grandchild from having a stable 2 parent life. But offer advise when or if they want it. Don’t be negative about this baby. Be loving & supportive.
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Definitely get a DNA test before making big decisions and as for the married part I got with my partner at the age of 16 had first baby at 17 fast forward 14 years we are still together and unmarried so I don’t think they should have 2 get married 
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What’s married got to do with it…? I think that means they didn’t do it all the “right” way marriage and then a baby 
… congratulations on becoming grandparents and help where ever you can.
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Honestly I don’t think you have any say in the matter not to be rude… your son is 21 and made the choice to have unprotected sex and he knew what would happen if he did let him figuer out what he wants to do and just give him advice should he ask for it as for the girl this was her choice to have unprotected sex as well so they both need to talk it out I’d just stay out of it if I was you unless he or she asks they are both consenting adults and both knew what happened when you don’t use protection I feel like the most you can do is draw a line he should have his own place and he should definitely talk to the girl he got pregnant and figure out their next step because unless she aborts the baby or gives up the baby he’s going have to be responsible for this child …I would suggest parenting classes and tell him to talk to the girl and figuer it out he’s 21
When you choose to have a child, its for life. I get you want him to be his own man but he is still your child and needs you no matter the situation. Support and love him and his child. Scary and frustrating but ultimately, a blessing once you get your head and heart around it. Best of luck.
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A DNA would be a good idea. I’ve been down this road. I don’t know what state you live in but, fathers right can be bad. My son and girl friend were together for 2 months after she was born. Left while he was a work. We didn’t know where they were for a for a week or so. It was rough for awhile. Lawyers, Judges and so on. It was tense. Try to have plans in place in the event they don’t marry or stay together. Custody, child support. Be a sounding board. Be his emotional support. Be involved in your grandchild’s life. Enjoy them
Nothing like the face of your grandchild to running towards y
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21 is still very young. I became a mom for the first time at 22. Its not impossible, but what was VERY important for me was to have the support of my family, specifically my mother. He’s your son, be there for him no matter what. He definitely needs to get a DNA test done. But if the child is his, then that is YOUR grandchild. Be there for both your son and your grandbaby. They dont have to get married to be good parents. The more support they have from their families the better for them both.
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Tell him be a man and take care of them for 18 years now 
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Maybe you could just support them through whatever their decision is? You know, show unconditional love.
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If the baby is truly his then the first step is accepting it for what it is and then let him figure it out… even if they dont get married this woman is going to be a part of his life and yours since this baby would be your grandchild if in fact he did get her pregnant. Love and support doesn’t have to be money so just love him through it and it will work out
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I met my husband when he was 17 & me 19 we knew each other 3 weeks like only seen each other 3Xs & had one date, then moved in together, we literally did not know each other, we are now 11 1/2 yrs together legally married since this Feb & having our big ceremony in April next year.
Life isnt a one way where things HAVE to happen in a certain order, my husband has been the best man ever, best husband, best father, even tho we met so young & he was barely a fresh 18 when we had our 1st son, he knew he needed to be an example for his son.
Maturity isnt defined by age, I know 50 yr old men than are dumber than a rock & suck at being fathers/husbands.
All you can do is be emotionally supportive & be a loving grandma. The rest is quite frankly not your business.
Hasan adult. Just take it as it is, dont be judgemental, and lo e everyone involved. It will make the situation easier… Just remember, that would be your grandchild, and it’d be a shame for him/her to be brought into a family with bad feelings.
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Then maybe you should have taught your son how to use a god damn condom if you aren’t going to be supportive to the three of them. … Smfh
It’s no longer about you or your son, it’s about this grandbaby. Throw your love and support towards this baby (and all that surrounds him) and watch your relationship with him/her blossom. Congratulations on being a Grandma! Huge blessing!
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So basically you want to make sure he is either stuck at home with you guys, away from his baby… or have him move out to be with his baby? Because that’s what it sounds like to me. You don’t need to be married to have kids. Most of my 7 kids were born prior to getting married. There is zero wrong with that. The only reason me and my husband even got married was because he was in the army and with 4 kids… if they had us move again, we needed to be able to relocate all of us and get costs reimbursed for it and that way if something ended up happening to my husband… we wouldn’t be up shit creek with me trying to figure out how to support us all off just my income alone. Otherwise we wouldn’t have ever gotten legally married. Marriage doesn’t mean forever. Kids however are forever. Honestly, if it was my kid in this situation… I would be asking them to move in with us so that we could help them while they figure shit out and help with the baby after it’s born too. But that’s just me 
They are adults. I agree marriage shouldn’t be the first step but what they need is emotional support. If you want your grandbaby in your life, you shouldn’t start out so negative. Things happen and it’s how you respond to the situation that determines the outcome. Be there for them both. Be the person they know will always love and be there for them through the good and the bad. That’s what momma is supposed to do.
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Okay wake up. Doesn’t matter if you barely know this girl. You do realize that your talking about " not financially helping to support your grandchild!".
If she is pregnant with them being so young your best thing to do is to help them out every way you can. Especially to make sure that baby is getting and has everything it needs.
My mother was 16 when I was born. She lived at home obviously. My grand parents were very upset at first as this was a life altering thing.( I might add my dad was not in the picture for support either nor was he ever in my life and that is and was hell for me.) My grandparents quickly got over it and realized I was going to be their first grandbaby and made sure I had everything I needed. That I was well taken care of. My mom was pregnant and it couldn’t be taken back so they put their big boy and girl pants on man’d up and supported my mom as much as possible. They were there for me my entire life to make sure I lived a good life and wanted for nothing.
I myself got pregnant 2 months before my 18th birthday to my boyfriend of almost 2 years. He is 2 years older than I am. My family was 
supportive and so was his. We had 2 baby showers. But we moved out of my grandma’s house and into our first apartment a month before my oldest was born. Now we have been together for 6 years and married for 3 we have another son and are talking about a 3rd.
Make sure he is in that babies life. Make sure that baby doesn’t want for anything as it is your grandkid.
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Time to grow up and take care of what he helped make
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Honestly, mind your own business. You’re making this about you and it’s not. Really you’re probably making the situation worse. Let these two work it out for themselves and emotionally support them. This is your grandchild, just keep that in mind before throwing around your judgement and potentially unwanted opinions
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A baby is a miracle regardless of how you see it. If he barely knows her I would be wanting a DNA. If the baby is his you and your husband are grandparents. I get your son is 21 but would you not want to always support your children regardless of age both emotionally and financially if you can?
I’d encourage a DNA test, but your kid’s choices are their own, not yours to make. Whatever he decides to do, he’ll need your support.
Life can be tough. My suggestion would be to let them decide what they want to do, and then to let them know you support their decisions, since it’s their lives. Let them know you are available for suggestions, if they welcome your advice, but this is not something you can do for them. They are adults now. Whatever decisions they make will not only affects them, but the child, as well. They will be the ones living with whatever decisions they make, so the last thing you want them to do is blame you for encouraging them to make a decision that is not what’s best for them to live with. They did this. They need to work through it together. All you can do is let your son know you love him, and be supportive in any way you can.
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Get a job and support the baby
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I was a teen mom and my mom kicked me out. That began a terrible life for me and my baby. All that is another life but I would have him stay home and her at her house. Open your home for visits with the baby and the babie’s mom and be supportive that way.
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Tell him to get the DNA to start with … if he barely knew her and they had sex ( who’s to say she didn’t do it with others ) then you proceed to tell them both to get a job she can stay her with her folks and he can stay with you ( if your ok with it ) this is the 20th century they don’t have to marry but they both need to do the right thing with this baby and take care of it … if they need help with food or diapers then step in and help other wise its called tough love and man up mama
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Leave it up to the pair of them
Old enough to get someone pregnant old enough to look after themselves
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That’s your grand baby. I would stand behind your grand child. Be supportive to your son. But if he chooses to not be in the picture - you need to still be in that baby’s life.
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Yes, DEFINITELY help with whatever your soon to be grandbaby needs. (after a DNA test of course) BUT, in my opinion, if he is going to make an adult decision to keep this baby, he needs to start acting like an adult. I would definitely help him start looking for a new place, If he has a job, awesome, I would help him learn finances! He has 9 months to start saving/prepping for this child. Help him help himself. ALSO. Help him financially, TO A CERTAIN POINT, do NOT let him take advantage of you!! I hope you have the wisdom to know when to tell him no. I watched my brother use my mother in a scenario just like this an not only did it drain her financially, but EMOTIONALLY!! As for the girlfriend… if she wants a relationship with you, an wants you in her life, take full advantage of that!! If not, shes not your kid, shes a big girl she’ll figure it out. But he is YOUR son, so definitely be on his ass about, not only morals, but about the fact that his child should ALWAYS come first. I wish you the best!
There’s a baby coming. Help them get on their feet so they can support this baby. A new life brought into this horrible world. I’m not saying pay every way but at least help support them until their able to do it alone. They can help pay bills. Trust me I have 3 and without my family who helped me with all 3 of them I couldn’t work or finish school.
Your son is an adult and so is the young lady he chose to have unprotected sex with, they should both understand there are consequences to their actions, both are equally responsible. They best thing you can do is encourage your son to have a conversation with the girl and figure out what they would like to do and support their choice, whatever it may be.
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Maybe you could try supporting and guiding your son into whatever choice he makes. Maybe you should try being a good example.
Are they planning to stay together? To raise a child?
Be supportive in the choice they make, not financially but assist them in information, if not a roof help them to get their own. Or abortion.
You do not need to be responsible for your adult child’s mistakes!!
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Don’t turn your back on your son but encourage him to help the girl know that she’s not alone, and yes get a DNA test after the baby is born, but for now try to be a support system, don’t let her feel like she’s alone in this.
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they can’t live with you and you have no intention of helping out financially so it sounds like you answered your own question already, you don’t want to help so I’m not sure what suggestions you were hoping to get. good luck to the parents to be… sucks they’re gonna have zero support from you at least.
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Support your child regardless of what society tells us is a normal age and time for anything. Just love you child and support them that’s your job.
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DNA test to be sure he’s the dad, but then if they need a place to stay for a little bit while they get on their feet, let them stay at your house. Married or not, they are trying to do the right thing for their new family! It seems a little harsh to say they can’t stay with you because they aren’t married but you also don’t want him to marry her… perhaps give them a deadline- stay here for 2 months post birth as you get a place of your own, or something like that. Sit down and figure out the best ways you can help emotionally support them (without it being financially) through this new journey. There’s no need to “punish him” or help him “understand the consequences of his actions…” he’ll understand when he’s trying to raise a baby at only 20.
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Personally i would support my child in whatever decision he made. That is your child and potentially your grand child
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Money’s not everything just being they supporting them both at this time. But leave they private life too them. They choice not yours. He will go with her anyway. Then you’ll be left without a son or grandchild.
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Well it’s your grandchild on the way so there’s that need say more 
…
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They chose to have sex even with the bet safe intentions shit happens not forcing them into being married it great but on the other hand they are young and are going to need emotional and physical support to help them figure out at this age if they actually want to be together for the long haul including allowing each other to grow and figure out who they are as people to and with out parent support and guidance there is a higher with their ages they won’t stay together. Marriage is really just a piece of paper is doesn’t make a Relationship more valuable or important because of the fancy paper. I was 19 with my first child 20 when she was born and the lack of support for me to grow as a person is why I ended up as a single parent of three going back to school in my 30s and figure out who I am as a person and not just my kids mom
This is why I’m gonna repeat to my babies till their ears fall off that having sex is for making babies, every time it’s done theres a possibility that a baby was made even with protection from both parties, why, because sex is solely to make babies so if your going to be sleeping around it’s a given that you’ll either catch STDs or make a baby or both. Iike literally everyday they will hear this whether it’s seriously or joking but Imma say it lol. I want it to be in the back of their minds when chosing who they might sleep I mean…coparent with. It’s crazy how we werent taught that enough. We sperate it so much and act like we get to plan out our life’s that way. It’s absolutely ridiculous how surprised both parties are when this beautiful oops happens. “How did this happen 
” also as soon as I even think they might be sexually active they will no longer be treated as children, they will help with paying bills and get a job and will constantly be reminded to get better jobs because any day they might come out pregnant and those babies should have everything they need and want, all this is something that should be taught more in boys because the world lacks men. One of the reasons being that they can’t understand how some one they don’t know can get pregnant . Not say your son feels this way but I heard this constantly when I was younger and still now nothing has changed and everytime I can’t help but giggle at the ignorance.
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Make sure its baby. Some girls lie.
Meet the girl first, meet her parents and then have a discussion. It’s not all upto you to on this if not her parents might be willing to get them together. Married or not married they are young and that’s what happens when you have un-protected sex
I don’t know what we would have done without our parents being there for us when I got pregnant at 18. My boyfriend was 17. We had to buckle down and be RESPONSIBLE for our son! Our parents helped guide us and was there for us but made it known that we were now going to be parents and needed to grow up! We went through the looks and had people tell us we would never last because we were soo young. We got married, and I graduated high school 2 WEEKS before having our 2nd son! It has not been easy at ALL, but we made it with help and support from our families! And I can happily say that we have been together now for 32 years and counting! I am soo soo thankful for our families support and being by our sides the whole way! And now we are loving being grandparents ourselves!!!
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There’s no magic solution. But you may be severely disappointed if you think you’re gonna control everything he does as an adult. What if they move in her parents and you’re side is the side that abandoned your grandbaby? You might lose the relationship with your son and grand child.
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My son got a girl pregnant, about thr same age. They did live with us for a short time and i gave him moral support. My granddaughter is now 14 and a wonderful addition to the family. Her parents did not make it together but have tried to do what’s best for her althoigh they haven’t always succeeded. He has been married to someone else for over 10 years and she has a big brother and 2 little sisters and loves being part of this family.
Tell him to get a damn job if he doesnt have one already an same for her. Tell them to start saving every penny they can for a deposit on a rental an make sure they can pay for everything if nothing is included. They are both of age an now need to gtfu an face reality… If I were you I would make it very CLEAR that abortion is not an option!!plenty of families out there that cant have their own children who would make amazing parents
Be his mum think of your grand babies, it’s 2020 think like it’s 2020 I feel fear for the youngsters, I hope they have a better attitude than you!
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I think First, I would ask him how he feels about this? What are his thoughts? His concerns? And then, depending on his answers, be supportive, no matter what. Let him know you are always willing to be a sounding board and you’ll give him advice…if he asks for it.
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I’d find out what they plan to do (whether or not she’s going to have it), and go from there. He should get a job and start supporting the pregnancy if she wants to keep it. Ultimately it’s his decision what he wants to do. Just be there for him if he wants to talk
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Sit down with him and be straight. Tell him that he is an adult and this is not something you can make go away for him. Tell him that you love him, and that you are there for him and his child, but that you are done having kids and will not be raising his.
Help teach him things now. Help him find a place for them together. Help him get ready. Just be there for support
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I believe in this scripture:
Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you;
Before you were born I sanctified you;
I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”
Whether it’s his or not
You WILL love this child, my Son had a beautiful baby Daughter and is the LOVE of our life. It may not have been planned
But the Lord makes no mistakes. Praying for all. 
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He needs to start saving money in case the baby is his. If he can get a better job he needs to do that. You need a paternity test asap. He should be responsible and Go with her to the doctors appointments. He can get good info there like how many weeks she is along. And get a better understand that the next 9 months will be like. Assuming he does not know this young lady verry well this would also give him a chance to get to know her better. As well as let her see he is a responsible young man.
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Do for him what you wish someone had done for you when you got pregnant and an early age or whatever your situation was did you have help or no help how was your situation handle and you’ll know how to help your son, remember you were a teenager or young adult before too
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I would set down with them and talk about there future plans and if the future plans is to marry let them go for it after all they already started a family together and I would tell my son to do the rightful thing and get a job and I would even help my son set up a cute nursery at our house and support him not financially because he has to learn but just someone to be there for them both!!!
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I was pregnant at 18, now 42. The best thing my parents did for me was just to love me and support me. I paid all my own bills, had two jobs, my spouse worked, but my parents did make us a meal every now and then, and bring it over. They never gave me money, but helped with groceries, or gas once in awhile. All they need is to know you love them no matter what, and you’ll be there for them. 
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If it is his, be willing to emotionally support him in whatever decision he makes, but make him understand this is a big responsibility that he cannot just walk away from without consequences.
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You don’t think he understands the consequences of his actions? Really, you have no faith in your son! This woman could be carrying your GRANDCHILD and grandchildren are always a blessing! Be supportive! If they need a place to stay, temporary open up your home! Quit being a prude! Again, that could be your GRANDCHILD Grandma!
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First off it’s gonna be ok. Second maybe just start off sitting them both down and let them know your intentions to be there for support but financially and the just be there for them…they will let you know what help they need. Also breath this is NOT the worst thing ever babies are a blessing.
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Be there for them. I got pregnant at 20. Me and my now husband had only been seeing each other for a few months. My family was disappointed in me to say the least. I was told I ruined my life…well almost 18 years later we are still together married and happy. We bought a home and I wouldn’t change not one thing. Not everyone has the same story but that’s life. Support is what they need right now. Even though they are young they will and can figure it out.
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I dont understand a post that asks questions while answering them at the same time. Thats your child. Speak with him. Go from there. Dont toss him out or turn ur back on him. Because thats also your grandchild
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Pray, talk to your son, get a paternity test before he signs the birth certificate. If its his then let them do what they can financially to take care of themselves and baby. Also you can get a few things to help if needed like gift cards to specific places for gas, groceries and get some stuff to help with your grandchild…most grandparents do. But first you need to make sure she’s pregnant and gets far enough along to look like the pregnancy is going to be ok. Also you never know what her family is thinking or will do to help if she needs it
Have a paternity test done to make sure it is his. Speaking from experience, my brother was sure his wife’s son was his but a paternity test shows it was her ex
Help him get a paternity test first off
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Pray it is a maybe not!!
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She didnt say he didnt have a job. He is just living at home and that is not the worst thing in tha world. The cost of living is way more expensive now then it was. If they have students loans it is better they stay at home and get those paid off. Anyway. Love him and get to know this woman. Most of all step up to the plate of grandparenting. That little baby is going to be loved. Make sure you are doing your part. And also embrace that fact about being a grandparent.
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This is definitely a time to guide him. Doing the right thing is definitely not marrying someone he doesn’t love but I would encourage them both to take a parenting class and help make a list of things the baby will need and help him learn to budget.
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There’s really not much you can do except let him know the things he needs to accomplish before baby gets here. If he’s not sure its his I’d recommend a DNA test before anything, can always sign bc after i do believe. Just support him and let him know you’ll be there for him as long as he’s trying.
i have 2 sons. i’d do whatever they needed as long as they were taking responsibility and trying.
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Love love love him! Don’t be angry - He will be facing the consequences of his actions without any further teaching from you. You will love your son and your grandchild so why go through all the painful parts of expressing disappointment or trying to teach lessons that are already too late. He’s 21. Give him time and space and let him make his own decisions. Support and love your son. I just went through this with my SIXTEEN year old son. I could see all the emotions in his eyes when he told me and I decided I wouldnt be angry. I hugged him tighter than I ever have before and told him we will figure it out together. That’s my grandbaby and I’ll do whatever I can to help. I am thankful for my reaction because it turned out she wasn’t pregnant after all, and our relationship is stronger than ever. Prayers for you Momma!
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First you should get him into a counseling service and a program that would help him get a job and help him becoming responsible we have job Corp for the children 14 to 24 they get housing and a job
Support him. Maybe not financially, but mentally, morally. Life happens. You are going to be a grandma. Love them with everything you have. Its not the ending of the world… Its the start of a new one. Make the best of it and do not make enemies of either of them. Just my advice.
Also, I would like to add that it DOES A TAKE A VILLAGE.
Be there. He will need you. She may need you, too, depending on her family situation.
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Might actually instill responsibility and adulting on his part
- “May have”
Do you mean he’s not sure she’s pregnant?
Or not sure it’s his because she had multiple partners?
The answer to that question would be critical. - wth are you letting a 21 year old adult still live with/off of you?
It’s called tough love and the lack of it is what’s wrong with young adults today.
Love him by all means. With all your heart. But stop enabling him and preventing him from being a responsible adult. If he’s adult enough to create a child, he’s adult enough to work and provide food and shelter for those he is responsible for.
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He needs to get a job and they dont need to live together to take care of a baby .
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Time to grow all the way up, faster than he planned. Moral support.
Umm you MAYYYY BECOME A GRANDMA so you stay in your place and be a grandma. Make sure he takes care of the girl AND BABY and himself. Help him stay on his feet. Don’t just leave him there to figure shit on his own. Y’all are really harsh. Smh.
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Well don’t turn your back on your son… be a parent and just be there for them…
He should get an apartment as well
Tell him, he’s got to get a job and get a place before the baby comes. Tell him he needs to prepare for diapers, and such. That he needs to be aware he might have to pay child support. And to get a dna test if there’s any question who the father is. Not much you can do.
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My brother got his gf pregnant when he was 23 … He still lived with my parents and my mom said " she won’t live here if you not married and I don’t think marriage is the best idea right now" what is understandable…but we were all in for him on everything he needed …untill today the kid is 8 years old the parents are not together …there is lawyers involved …but the kid know he is loved by everyone and both mom and dad know they can count on family …make sure you don’t push him to do what u want … Give him choices and explain all of his responsibilities…and you will be a grandma …for what my mom says it’s way better than being a mom … Just don’t abandon him in his time of need
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What does may have gotten someone pregnant mean? She doesn’t know? He’s not sure it’s his?
Since he doesn’t know her a DNA test before signing a birth certificate. I knew someone who believed it was his. Signed it. It wasn’t his. Bad situation.
If he’s 21 and he doesn’t understand the consequences for his actions already, you failed at parenting. The only exception for this is if he’s mentally unable to understand, but as you didn’t say that, I’m going to assume that’s not the case. At 21, he should know that it’s his responsibility to step up and be a father, provide for his child, love his child, and respect his child’s mother. Even if they’re not together, or don’t plan to be together, they’re now connected through that child’s life for the rest of their lives.
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Well first make sure your son gets DNA test. Second, how can you say you won’t let them live with you or help financially at all? I mean if it was my son I would do whatever i had to to make sure he was able to get on his feet. He obviously needs a job and to start saving now… theres a lot of factors to this
Are they gonna try to raise the child together? Are her parents supporting her? Do they have a place to live with the baby?
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Speaking as a young mom ( I was 15 when I got pregnant and 16 when I had him) I say be there for him. I’m not talking financially, but definitely be a support. It’s hard enough as it is to adjust to having a little life brought into this world, but add onto that feeling like everybody is against u makes it feel damn near impossible. My mom’s support was and is everything to me, and I would not be the mother that I am if it wasn’t for her. And her and my son have such a strong bond, I would hate for anyone to miss out on that. What’s done is done, don’t miss out on ur son and grandbaby, it’s something u can’t take back in the future.
First off make sure it really is his baby, talk to her parents and her. There are options…