Offer to help watch the baby. Babysitting is crucial to new parents.
Just remember how you react to the pregnancy may effect how much you get to see the baby who happens to be your grandchild
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Have an open and honest conversation with him! It’s already going to be hard for both of them. I would let her move in after the baby’s born if she wants too. It’s hard enough to make a relationship last during pregnancy! I’m sure you want your grand baby to have the best chance at a mom and dad together. Use this time to get to know her
If he can stay with you this long at 21 with your full support, if would look cold & shady to “do less” and call him grown now. Have his back & teach him to be a father & a leader now.
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First, dna test. They can be done before the baby is born or after. Second, does your son work? If not then help him get a job even if it’s cutting neighbors grass. If he already has a job then skip that and have him start saving for the baby to come. Step 3, have a long talk about what he is to expect from you and your husband . Grandparents are not daycares, chauffeurs, banks etc. And all the other rules you will have. But in an adult manner, not confrontational. Step 4, don’t get too excited, i know that may be impossible to some but your excitement may cloud your very own rules. Also make sure he experiences the dr appointments and research all the resources that could help them in your area if need be.
Should have had that talk a while ago
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Stay out of his business. He’s an adult and needs to figure it out himself. If he keeps being coddled by you he will never be able to fully grasp reality as an adult on his own.
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Smh. So many things wrong here
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You can’t help him grow into becoming a dad? He is just learning how to be an adult. How you treat them both now will reflect after baby is born too. There is so much more I want to say but I will leave at that
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Regardless of what happens u need to be there for your son teach him or guid him that he needs to be there for that child they dont have to live w u or get married but he needs to step get a job and help support that kid he needs to go over to see the kid or have the kid over at yalls house just guide him to be the best parent he can be its time for him to put his big pants on
If I told you my honest opinion Id piss off ALOT of people!
But just ask your son how he’s going to like paying child support for the rest of his life? 99.9% of women will seek it! My son is 9 and I have literally beat it in his head that unless he wants to give half of his paycheck away every week then he needs to keep it in his pants! And to wrap twice when he’s older! (He has no idea what that means BUT he will one day)
Why can’t there be joint custody and everything 50/50? In my opinion women should only receive CS if the father is non existent and won’t agree to the 50/50
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I was 19 when I got pregnant. I had been with my baby’s dad for over 4 years and he cheated and left while I was pregnant. I could not ever have done it without the support from my mum. I’m thankful for the way she acted every single day🙌🏼 Be there. That’s all he will need😘X
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Get with the times fgs he’s got someone pregnant not shat in the neighbours yard
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You know … I moved out of the house at 18 . At 20 I got pregnant . We lived in a shitty trailer , that barely was livable for us especially for a child (cards we were dealt due to our own ignorance) . You know what my parents did ? Our son was born 7 weeks early , and they offered us their extra space . At THEIR house , to live . We lived their for almost a year , and finally got our own place . My parents didn’t turn their backs on us . They didn’t say how awful it was gonna be . They helped us , at our lowest points . I’m forever grateful for them . If this is how your thinking now , I hope your son gets a good job , and cuts that toxic out . Your views on anything related should never come between your son , your grandchild , and you . If it does , then his best bet is to leave the toxic and find those that will fully support him (not financially but emotionally and mentally) . Everyone needs help every once in a while .
Dna test and did ur son ask u for her to move in or ur just assuming ? People can also coparent
I just want to say hear you were aware that both of these people are adults and you don’t really get a say this is his situation you should let him deal with the consequences of this on his own. you do not do this now you will have a man-child for the rest of your life cut the freaking strings now. It isno longer your responsibility to look after him and help him see the consequences of his actions at 21 he should have some brain power to be able to do this himself. there’s nothing you can do when the babies born and you want to babysit to give them a break enjoy it it’s just one of the blessings of being a Grammy.
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Well, I’d definitely start by discussing getting a dna test. He’s 21 not 16 so turning your back would be quite drastic. He’s an adult and he’s gotta figure it out. Are they dating? These things happen when you have sex so it’s between them what to do next. They can try to be together or they can raise their child not together. No one has to get married or be forced to be together.
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He’s 21. Lol there’s not much you CAN do. He’s an adult. Just tell him to step up and be there for her with whatever decision she makes. Maybe help him look for an affordable apartment for himself in case she is pregnant and wants to keep her baby. That way you aren’t burdened the “baby that comes from unmarried parents” 
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What do they want? Besides the baby that’s the only thing that’s important.
Example from my daughters experience. She got pregnant at 20 to her boyfriend that was in the army. He only had about a year left in after my grandson was born. They had been talking about what they wanted. He didn’t want to stay in the military & my daughter didn’t want to be far from family either. BUT his step mother kept putting it in his ear the best thing was for him to re enlist & stay in. She told him he had my daughter & his son to think about. The more she put that in his ear the more fights my daughter & him had. My daughter said that her son needed his dad in his life & that was more important than $ and he said well I’m choosing to provide for my son… They broke up when my grandson was 3 weeks old. So now my grandson barely sees his dad & my daughters been raising him by herself for almost 3 years. ( That was part of the reason for the break up but the main reason I’m not getting into)
Regardless if you know it’s his, your son needs to establish a relationship with the girl. It doesn’t matter if they decide to stay together or co-parent. If she hasn’t graduated yet, please make sure she does. If she has graduated they both need to be working. You need to teach your son that no matter what happens he needs to step up and be a dad. Period. He needs to help support the baby, see the baby, be respectful of the mother.
What are your son’s thoughts and plans? If he already has a job maybe it’s time to step the game up and find a better one with good benefits (if he doesn’t already have them)
What’s the mother’s plan? Does she plan on keeping the baby? Is her family supportive? What are her future goals.
Having a kid unexpected is consequence enough. Support him in anyway he needs and provide for him and your grand baby. It’s not about you or having to make a statement.
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You don’t have to be responsible for the baby but you will be a grandparent soon and If you want to avoid them living with you then helping them with some sort of stability would go a long ways. If not it’s the quality of your grandchild that will suffer the consequences of the parents. Help your son get a trade or something for financial support and encourage the mother to get assistance like WIC, food stamps and even low income housing. There are lots of resources for them if you don’t want to help at least direct them somewhere where there is …
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Don’t force marriage but encourage that they start dating and see if are good together or can be friend’s for the baby’s sake. But there are lot of people that have paid child support for another kid’s man so I do recommend a dna test
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My sister had a baby at 16. We supported her. All of us. My mom, all her siblings. She is now 26, with a thriving 9 year old. Married (to someone else), with two more babies. Give them what they need while teaching them how to be adults.
I am also the product of a teen mom. I am 41 years old with two masters degrees, married with 5 kids of my own. I turned out just fine.
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You do realize this “consequence” is your grand child, correct? You might want to show some support.
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If he’s unsure that she’s pregnant with his baby as going by your post they are not bf/gf and haven’t known each other long have him request a dna test when the baby is born or request one when she’s pregnant… either way and if it turns out to be his just be there for him and her you don’t have to “financially” support them but they are both adults so if they choose to move in together there isn’t anything you can really do if the baby is his…
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Listen to your heart. You really don’t need anyone else’s advice. This is your son and your grandchild. I would never turn my back on my child, no matter her age. I would expect her to work and provide for her child, but I would be loving and supportive, and do what I could to help her figure it out along the way. I feel people make the most sensible decisions when they know they have the love and support of their family to back them up. Making a hasty decision based on fear or judgement usually messes things up every time, based on my own personal experience.
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Umm not your problem let him deal with his own actions
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Just cuz you have a baby with someone don’t mean you have to get married…
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If so…thats your grandbaby and she (the woman) should be treated as family…no questions. You dont have to support financially…but should not turn your back. My opinion. I have a 3 yrold grandprincess and one on the way. Love every minute of it. Wouldnt change anything…except would love to see her every day. I love her and cant get enough of her…and it will be the same with the new one. It is scary…yes…but so much more good. Just more people to 
LOVE!
XOXO
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Congrats granny!! I’m sure once the consequence is screaming at 3am he’ll understand it…dna for sure!! As soon as possible so no one gets their heart broken.
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To be honest all you can do is suport them both. Id definatly insist on dna test. If your son works they need to figure out access arrangements and money suport. If my son was in same situation and dna test come bk it was my sons id def want to be in childs life and encorage my son to do same
Believe me he will understand in nine months wether its his or not
Why do you think you get a say in what they do?? Your husband and you don’t feel its ok for two adults to make their own decisions? So what if YOU don’t know her, he obviously does. Best thing but out. Youre grandma that’s it
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if she is pregnant she can get a a dna test at her 10-12 week appointment. my sister had one done so she had a peaceful mind. a lot ask why get a dna test it’s because some grow attached or grow away from people some become angry when they wasted their time. it’s hard on some not knowing. it doesnt harm the baby at all. if hes the dad just support him in making the right choices a apartment job extra, most importantly being there for the mom.
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Just be supportive, Wait until there is a positive pregnancy test and let him know you will be there, And the girl too…Let her know you will be there for her whatever choice she makes.
If you want to be in your granchild’s life I suggest getting to know the mom and support them both. You’ve made it clear you don’t approve of this happening outside of marriage but how has that worked out for you? Your son still made his own choices. My point is this is THEIR life to live and figure out. Fortunately or unfortunately us grandparents get to kiss boo boos and spoil. 
Maybe just focus on that?
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It’s your grandchild, where is the love and compassion?
Now is not the time for “tough love”, an innocent life is involved.
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Can you maybe just support him during this time
I mean that’s all he needs right now
Signed a Meema to a beautiful smart little 4 month old
Daughter just turned 22
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In the state of Mi they explain to men in the delivery room that if he is unsure if the baby is his he should do a D.N.A. test before signing a birth certificate. Once he signs that certificate its a done deal.
He is an adult whats done is done, they should at least stay friendly for the co parenting part if it is his & that would make the baby your grand child. There is no greater love then that.emotionally support them and enjoy the benefits if being a grand parent. Good luck. I have been there.
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He lives at home…she (i assume) has a roof over het head… So shouldn’t be any need for them to live together in your home…if they wanna be together then mayb it’s time they both stepped up and get a place of their own together…they both feel responsible to have sex…they should be tlready to handle the possibility, and reality of what happens when you have sex…be there n support him but that doesn’t mean u have to financially support them.
He’s 21…time to man up and do adult things! Like find out how to get a DNA test, and make sure he has a job so he can support himself and his child even if the parents choose not to be together.
Make sure he understands that “child support” is not about taking money from him…it is about the fact that he is 50% responsible for the care of that child.
You have no obligation to allow them to live with you or support them…and hopefully he realizes this already for himself and doesn’t have to be told.
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Not everyone wants to get married and that’s okay.
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A baby is a blessing regardless if they are MARRIED or not he’s a grown man age 21 he’s not a child why would he need consequences 
you need to get out of the stones ages times have changed not everyone gets married before kids and that should be okay.
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Another piece of advice that came from my mother when I was pregnant with my oldest. Don’t get married until the baby is at least a year old. It gives both of them time to let the newborn happiness of being new parents wear off and being in a relationship is very different after a child comes into it.
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I think support should be given with boundaries. Our kids are our kids forever no matter the age and just because they “mess up” doesn’t mean we should show “punishment” right off the bat. I mean kids will mess up, that’s life, but being there for them with love and compassion just sets a road for success with their babies, we need to lead by example. Please this is just my opinion. Don’t eat me alive. I know everyone has different parenting styles and I respect that. I agree with your boundaries of them NOT getting married !
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Emotionally support your son. They will figure out the rest.
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I’d start with, Dude, are you OK? Is she OK?
Then, do you plan on having a relationship with this woman? If not, how are we going to make this work? If so, does she want to come round for dinner?
I’m here for you and I love you. Let me know what I can do to help you all.
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My dad supported me when I was 19 and pregnant. We only stayed for about a year till my bf( now husband) finished college and got a job, but my dad loved that year because he got to bond with his grandson 
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I’d help my children any way I could. Him being 21 living at home with a child on the way, he would go get a job and support his new family. I would not support someone, my child or not, that didn’t take the initiative to support themselves or their family…
I would however always support my grandchild.
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My god the comme ts from half these ppl is utterly disgusting… "doesnt mena u have to support blah blah. Bore of thats ur bloody child and grandhild how some ppl can be so cavalier is beyond me!!! Im a single mum and wasnt with my daughters father and hes not involved im still at home with my dad and my family is utterly fantastic and a massive support for me and my babygirl no matter how muh i tell my parents and my nan they dont need to give me moneynor buy stuff for me or baby thy insist as im their daughter/granddaughter and my baby is theire grandchild there is nothing they wouldnt do. How some parents can be so out of touch is disgusing yes your child may be an adult ans u may not agree with it but take ur head out of your ass this is ur child and grandchild stay humble or u may just find urself not apart of their lives if u carryon thijking u have a say or act so horrible.
He is an adult now. All you have to do is support him emotionally and be a positive outlook on this brand new baby. He will make his own decisions from there.
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I completely get that you don’t agree with his choice’s concerning possible getting a girl knocked up, and having sex before marriage.
With that being said he’s a grown man. With means that he isn’t going to necessarily have the same beliefs that you and your husband do. The more you focus on the religion side of it, and the more you make a big deal out of it the more it’s going to drive him away from you, and in turn possible your grandchildren. Regardless of how all of this turns out, he’s still going to make his own choice, because well… he’s his own person.
I would recommend getting a DNA test done, once he’s able to. But I wouldn’t spring it on her last minute. He should have a talk with her in advance. But again just because you want him to get it done dosen’t mean he is going to do it. Ultimately they need to decide for themselves what works best for them.
The best thing that you can do is stay out of it, unless they have or ask for your advice. Give it only when they ask for it and only for that specific thing.
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I’m slightly offended by this… I got pregnant at 18 (on accident) by my boyfriend who was 23 at the time. My gmail has known him for a almost 8 years. I also got pregnant 2 months after having been hospitalized and having had surgery on my ovaries and uterus and being diagnosed with endometriosis, I was on birth control. And was “smart” but still got pregnant. It’s not a “consequence” it can happen to anyone and a baby is a blessing. I told my mom the day after I took the tests. We never really had the best relationship and she was upset and disappointed at first because I was in college for nursing and was young. But after taking a few hours to think and calm down. We sat down and had a heart to heart. I am now a mother and she a grandmother to a beautiful happy and healthy 1 year old and my mom loves her more than anything. They are best friends. My mom helped me so much and was even in the delivery room and it has given us the closest and most incredible bond. She was there and still is. We live in the finished basement my bf and I pay rent. She’s helped us get on our feet. I finished school and and currently doing my best to find a job with the pandemic stuff but my mom supported me and us completely (not necessarily financially) you can still be there, support and help them without “turning your back” because you would miss out. If you want to help them do that. They are responsible and can still have jobs, etc and struggle. Pregnancy and the first few months with a baby if lonely and difficult on ANY new mom and dad no matter their age. If you help them financially it’s not really for them it’s for your grandchild so I would think about that and if you really want you son to struggle with a newborn baby
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To me, it sounds like you’ve already given up on him. 
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He’s an adult she’s an adult they just need to take responsibility for their own actions instead of having their mom clean up the mess I’m sorry just blatantly honest
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Support them I got pregnant at 17 my parents let my now husband live with us for three years untill we was able to get our own place. It happens not everyone gonna wait till marriage to have sex. Just be there for your son and even the girl they are going through more then you know she’s probably scared he don’t know what to do they are young just. Let them know u are there if they need anything or throw him out and miss what could be a great experience being grandma and seeing the ultrasound and the birth your choice really but me if my child says they got a girl pregnant or my daughter says she is pregnant the first thing I’m doing is setting an appointment up and being there that’s why we are parents to support them for anything he could have not told u at all but since he did he is looking for your support to say it’s gonna be ok I’m here.
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I would make them both get a job and start by putting money back for the stuff they are going to need for the baby and them self
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When my oldest daughter got pregnant at 19 (boyfriend was 19 too) we told her that we weren’t in a position to help them financially in a big way but that they could live with us rent free until they got on their feet. No end date involved and that was our supporting them. They were both going to community college so after the baby came we kept him so they could go to work and school…I’d have to say that those were some of the best years of my life! My grandson is now 15 and the bond we have is so close…we’ve never regretted helping and supporting them in this way.
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Your job as a mom doesn’t end at 18. Just because he’s gonna be a dad doesn’t mean you’re not still his mom!
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Make sure he has a job, gets his own place and steps up as a dad. Be there as grandma and grandpa. Support the child as you would if it were planned!!
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Why didn’t you teach him SAFE SEX
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My youngest got pregnant at 19 we supported her . They need you the most right now . She stayed with us thru the 9 months and then the both for one year after my grandson was born. They both worked the whole time and got their own place in a year.
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I got pregnant at 18. Had my daughter at 19.
My parents had my bf move in so we could be in it together for our child. They let us stay for over a year after her birth to get more money saved so we could get a place of our own. Been on our own ever since. My daughter is now 15. And my husband and I have been together 18 years. Had my parents made it harder … we might never have been able to make our little family work! My parents are Christian’s too… and never once turned us away. Because they thought it was a sin to have a baby out of wedlock or live together outside of marriage.
Just support them. Teach them the kind of parents they should be too. Guidance and reassurance.
They helped out here and there. But we took care of our child. My husband always had a full time job. Our own vehicle. And they offered to watch their granddaughter twice a month so we could have date nights.
We now have 4 kids and own our third home.
You will set the framework for them moving forward. Just be a good supportive parent.
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21 year old still living at home? Unless he is in college he should be working and out of the house. I raised 5 sons and yes all was out of the nest unless they was full time college students and I still made sure they held a job and paid 1 bill in the house and paid for their own personal things. Now add a baby on the way in mix should not change up those living situations… as long as your son is in school, bettering himself… bet your butt mom needs to be there to assist if needed.
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Im just here to say What is this? The 1950s? Marriage isnt nothing but a piece of paper. Getting married bc of a child is literally stupid.
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Pretty sure having a kid isn’t punishment nor should it be something that should ever be ‘punished’. Wtf?!
Sex shaming your kid for some old fashioned out of date views on sex is not needed. We also don’t shit on couples having kids OR make the kid having experience any harder on new parents on purpose for ‘punishment’.
As a human you really need to revaluate some things cause you are not being a good human or parents with those thoughts.
That being said…no, you don’t need to move her in. They are having a kid not ( and god help you if you encourage it, we don’t encourage young dumb obviously not in love kids to get married on a whim which can potentially destroy their whole lives) getting married.
Stop acting like a holier than tho judgemental clog and just have a conversation with your child.
You know it would be different if it were your daughter. Don’t turn your back on them. Help out as much as you can but in reality they are both adults and they made their own decisions so now they need to grow up and be able to support themselves and their kid whether its together or not.
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Gosh I’ve rewritten this a 1000 times lol.
I want to first say it SCREAMS VOLUMES he came and talked to you. Sounds like he is looking for emotional support and possibly some guidance. No, you do not have to like the decision but what’s been done has been done. No, you don’t have to let either of them live with you. But punishing him or downing him will be unhelpful. I guess if I was in this situation I would be sitting down and talking to my son. The first order of business is finding out if she is pregnant. I would suggest my son to accompany her to a clinic that offers pregnancy tests or the doctor or something. My next advice would be to suggest a DNA test to him. That means he will be needing to have a conversation with this young lady which will be HARD. Either A. She will understand or B. She is going to be mad because she will think he is saying she is a liar or something along those lines (if you get me) the next step is knowing how he is going to navigate this. Is he going to be involved in the pregnancy? Is he going to wait for a DNA test? what’s his plans on supporting this baby who I will point out will be your grandchild if it’s his. Other then asking questions and being there emotionally not much more can be done unless you want to which you made clear. I guess I’d be there for my son emotionally and stuff. Most or we could say some men have a hard time wrapping their brains around a baby on the way. A women or girl usually becomes a mom as soon as she finds out she is pregnant.
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Also, I noticed you said in there you never met her. Sounds like that bothers you. Maybe if you for sure find out she is, invite her over for dinner or something.
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Co-parenting is the only issue at hand marriage doesn’t solve anything but divorce done the road make him take responsibility for the child man up he is the father insist on DNA test
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This is something you should have started teaching him 10-15 years ago. When we had the sex talk with our son, that was included. It might not work out with the girl you get pregnant, no matter what the age, but you don’t turn your back on your child. If you taught him that when he was younger, you wouldn’t be so worried now. You need to support their decisions, even if you don’t agree with them. If she’s OK living on her own, you’ll have to accept that. If they’re ok living together at their own place, you have to accept that. If your son decides to bail, not much you can do about that, but then you need to reach out to her and let her know you’re there. This isn’t your son’s mistake, this is your grandchild. Reprimanding him at this point is pointless.
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I got pregnant at 22 with a guy I was only dating about 2 months. I was scared, didn’t know if we’d even be together since it was so new. My parents loved me and supported me through it. We stayed together, he moved in to my parents house to help with our daughter and we saved $. We’ve been married 8 years now and have 4 children and a home. It can work out, just be there for him and encourage him to get to know her better and be there for her. She is feeling afraid & confused too. He needs to be there and show her regardless if they work out or not, he’s there for her and the baby. You can support him by being an ear to listen and an encouraging voice. Best of luck to them !!
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Just let them know you support them. But basically stay out of it, they are adults and need to figure it out! Time to grow up and take responsibility 
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As a teen parent I got pregnant at 17 from the teen side all I wanted was my mom. She kicked me out and i had to live in a shelter and I didn’t have her support in anyway and continued to live in and out of shelter until this year. My son is 4 and I’m 21. We are just now on our feet.
I didn’t want or expect my mom to support me financially but again all I wanted was my mom
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First and all ask for a paternity test and see from there if he doesnt know her to well I wouldn’t trust it
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What has marriage got to do with it. Love and support your child.
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Help them as much as you can. Your grandchild! Think of it that way.
Tell the girl to start sucking…and not fucking…after the baby…
They don’t need to get married nor do they need to live together because she’s pregnant.
They just need to co parent.
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My son and his gf of 6 years got pregnant when they were 19 and 20. She lived with her mom while she was preggo but after the baby was born they all lived with me. My son did pay rent. I wasn’t about to let them struggle. Sadly he passed away last year when their baby was only 9 months old. The gf and baby stayed with me until about 8-9 months after the accident and now live with her mom again but I didn’t put them out she chose to go home. I didn’t want them to struggle with my son or without so I send her “child support” now.
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Forcing them to get married is horrible. You will loose your son. They are young and still need your support. Get your head out the 50s and into the new world before you loose your son and grandchild.
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I got pregnant at 18 by a man I barely knew that was 29 years old. I met him online. He lived in another state. His family didn’t know me at all. They met my son when he was 4 months old and I went to the state they were in. Fast forward 14 years and I’m still with that man. We not only have our amazing son but we also have two beautiful girls and a daughter that passed away during pregnancy. My family was scared but they supported me. I lived with my mom until my son was a month old and I got my own apartment that I stayed in until I moved to another state to be with my fiancé. I would have been lost that first month without my Mom and older sister. I didn’t know a thing about caring for this tiny sickly baby.
My point is your son needs your loved and support. You need to make sure that girl has your love and support. They’re young and they’re going to need guidance. It took a long time for me to really bond with my fiancé’s family because like you they were not supportive and believed that we shouldn’t love together not married. They did change their minds about that and let us live together with them while my fiancé looked for a place for us. He slept in another room though on the couch. My son and I slept in the bedroom.
We have own place place and we are self sufficient. My fiancé makes 800 a week at his job and I stay home with our kids. We homeschool. We take vacations yearly etc. that wouldn’t have been possible if we hadn’t had support from our families in the early years.
They didn’t support my child or my fiancé but they helped him to grow up. They helped him to learn to be self sufficient. You don’t have to provide for them. You don’t have to agree with their choices. But just because they hadn’t known each other doesn’t mean they won’t stay together and raise their baby. It’s ultimately up to them to decide. You can be there to offer love and a shoulder to cry on. To lend advice and etc.
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Ask him and her how you can help. Meet the damn girl. And go from there. Do you want to know this baby?! Start there
Wow I am glad you are not my mother if they want they can get married and obviously they have sex so grow up get with the times and help your son out or they can take your grandbaby away which might be best by the way you sound Karen
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It’s hard with sons. Really, everything is up to the girl, at least until the child is born.
Marrying a girl he doesn’t know is not a good idea. (neither is gtg her pregnant, but, what’s done is done). Don’t force him to compound this “mistake”
All you can do is try to be as emotionally supportive as possible.
If you have space, and she wants to, allowing her and the baby to live with you would definitely allow your son alot more time with his child, esp as an infant.
Whether she has her own room with the baby or they live as a couple is really their choice.
And as far as seeing the consequences, you don’t have to do a thing. He has a child and a minimum 18 yr commitment, the consequences are obvious. He doesn’t need your “help” with that…
How do you help your adult son understand his consequences for this??? Really??? You never spoke to your son early on in his life about the consequences for all of his actions??? And no he shouldn’t marry her unless they are in love. God help both of this people.
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Look hear it’s simple if it belongs to your son then he’s responsible for helping to support this child you as a parent need to stress on making sure he is apart of this situation if it is indeed his just don’t let him walk away from his child that’s the problem in this world men have that option it’s not an option to walk away from your child my daughter has a 4yr old and I help all I can he stays with me alot but that’s okay he’s my grandbaby and I love him and I support him all I can the father is in his life part time and that hurts my soul to hear my grandson always wanting his father but all you can do is tell him it’s gonna be okay we got you so yeh it’s rough but he will get threw it beleave me we do it everyday
Teach him how to be financially independent, if he has a job teach him how to budget. If they wind up living with you (atleast for awhile) give him some responsibility around the house that a father would have. I personally try using every scenario thrown my way as a learning opportunity 
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You dont want them to get married, but you dont want them to live with you unmarried?? So you’re options are to either suck it up, support their decision, and be his mom…or you can be the mom I had when I was a pregnant teen and kick him out to fend for himself. Which one do you think would still involve him, or your grandkid, being in your life? It’s not your job to like your kids decisions, but it is your job to be there to see him through to the other side, no matter what it is🤷♀️
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Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. You adapt. Support him and let him know he is not alone in this and welcome the girl and your grandchild.things happen and life goes on.
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You dont have to financially support them to show your support. They both should have jobs at that age. You can help them by apartment shopping with them and preparing them for their upcoming adventure as parents. Invite her to dinner and meet your potential new daughter in law. Don’t be bitter because he took a different life route than you wanted for him. He’s an adult now, treat him like one.
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There isn’t anything you can do. This is not your problem it’s his. Tell him to man up. He will have a child to care for. And hopefully you are not financially supporting him in any way. As he is soon to be a parent that absolutely needs to stop. And as a grandparent you will need to establish a decent relationship with the mother to be in the child’s life.
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First figure out if shes actually pregnant? You worrying about it isn’t going to help. And whether he decides to marry her or decline his child is up to him it is his life. What’s up to you is if you allow that in your house. The baby would be your grandchild so you should be supportive no matter what. Everybody makes mistakes
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You may want to get him a pk of condoms and instructions.
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The way I see it - the situation isn’t ideal and it’s not what you wanted. But a baby is ALWAYS a blessing and something to be celebrated.
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They dont have to be together to raise a child. He can help support and have time with his kid. And you can help support his relationship with his child without financially being responsible.
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Honestly the best thing that you can do for him is to make him figure it out. He’s an adult now and he has to learn that there are consequences for his actions. Those actions were not your doing. It’s been my experience but if you try to help they just blame you in the end
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Be there for him and your grand baby. They need you more than ever right now. They will already be scared as it is, I know what its like to be so scared and not have that support. They need you to tell them it will be OK because having a baby doesn’t ‘ruin your life’ as most people tell young parents.
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