My son is refusing school and we’ve tried absolutely everything (and I literally mean EVERYTHING) and have exhausted every resource in the community to encourage him to go. I can’t explain everything because there is so much to go into, but please take my word for it, he is a happy boy, we know why he won’t go to school and is getting all the help he can get. When he refuses school, I want to bring him somewhere where he will be absolutely miserable until school would usually end. I was thinking the library and we can get him to practice his subjects but he’ll have a tantrum and we’ll probably be kicked out. Does anyone have any ideas? Please don’t judge, I just need ideas, I don’t need anyone giving me any other advice because I promise you we already tried it. I just need ideas of where I can bring him - I would be there with him of course
When my child refuses to go to school I went with him and sat in his school. It was harder for me for I had his brother but the school was very helpful I was able to lay a blanket on the floor and let him do his thing and sit in the class room with my son.
Make him or homeschool him. You don’t really give us a reason why he doesn’t go either. You could even go sit in his class with him.
Sounds like he needs structural school, where he lives on campus and goes home on weekends. Sometimes the hard things are the best things for our children.
This is missing way too much context for us to be able to suggest helpful alternatives.
I need more information. How old is he? You are the parent. Make him go to school or homeschool him
It sounds like you have the time to spend with him. So go with him and sit in the class with him. And if he’s not going it is your fault. And legally you are responsible. You can get in serious trouble. Drag him if you have to. But get him to school.
Have him do online schooling
I have the same problem with my 13 year old. We have done everything that we know to do. I ended up homeschooling him, and him tested for learning disabilities, and we do counseling. There is more to it than dhs, dcs, or a belt to the butt.
How old is he?
Have you been monitoring his on line activities.
What about the older men in his life?
A coach or maybe a teacher?
For his personality to change so drastically suggests abuse to me.
My opinion only but you you asked.
Have yall looked into any activities through the school like clubs, sports, maybe drama or something that would interest him where he would have a reason to be passionate to go there? Make friends with similar interests so he has that bond with other kids from the school that can create a support system while he’s there to get through the stuff he’s struggling with during normal class time? Maybe look for a local activities fair that y’all can visit together so he doesn’t feel any pressure from you that he HAS to do an activity but just see if something catches his eye and sparks an interest
He might be becoming even more discouraged because he can sense your stress, not saying you’re a bad mom and that you’re doing anything wrong, kids can just pick up on our stress a lot more than we realize and their brain just isn’t developed enough (prefrontal cortex doesn’t fully develop until age 25) to have the emotional intelligence to understand their own internal struggle so if he’s feeling lousy with his own stuff about school and now also struggling with guilt feeling like he’s letting you down, it projects as a tantrum because he doesn’t know how to verbalize it so there’s even more tension. If you could find something like an activities fair where it’s basically just browsing without the pressure of being expected to make a commitment, it could take some weight off his shoulders and make him more willing to try something new.
I might try sitting in the car in the school parking lot. You could read, or listen to books. He would get bored but be safe, and it would start/keep the routine of going to school, and he would be there if he changed his mind. Might be able to add school time in chunks depending on what is going on for him. Good luck mama.
Homeschooling or online school. If you can be with him during the day it’s a great opportunity for you to bond with him and get his education at the same time. Public or even private school is not for every child. Maybe he’s being bullied and he just doesn’t want to tell you. Social anxiety perhaps? Talk to him! When you get to the root of why he doesn’t want to go you will figure out the right solution for him. Good luck
Tell him if he doesn’t go you will go to jail and then he won’t see you. Sounds harsh, but that’s reality. Depending on your state, truancy is a thing and parents DO get arrested for this.
Umm.first off…oh geez!!! I’m praying for you
But my little brother was horrible about head start…that ain’t even frkn school but me n my mom took him to bus everyday…kicking n screaming…pulling our hair out!!! But he came home happy n now as an adult…he’s better than any man I’ve ever met!! Scott
Talk to the teacher. I always believed that it’s takes the both if you to educate them. You are a team. Sounds like he’s being bullied. Maybe not by students alone. I have had experience with a teacher being a bully. If the teacher refuses to help , it could be a red flag. Also the school councilor and principal should be open to helping with this. My childs school had a volunteer club. Look into that as well. I was able to be at school all day with them. I helped all the teachers in the school with projects and decorations. Maybe you could help in the library as well. Let your child know you are there and can come to you anytime.
My son was like that. we did tough love and sent him to Military School. He didnt like it the first week but it really turned his life around and he went to college.
My kids have never had the option not to go to school. I’m the parent and that job requires that I send them to school.
Do courses online. You can go through Penn Foster to go at your own pace and graduate High School. It helped both my sons very much and they even graduated early.
You might can get a teacher to come to your home? Bc I would never force my kid to go school bc it’s sucks! Everyone needs a mental day from school, work, & life. Like I get yall may work but maybe try to figure something out about it getting him homeschool
My sisters son did the same. He ended up meeting a teacher in the administration building once a week for years - until he got a HS diploma! He then went to college and excelled! Good Luck!
School refusal is at an all time high since COVID so it is very common for a multitude of reasons ( lots of literature on it) I do a half on campus half at home model which my daughter has adjusted well too. Bullying was the issue here added with anxiety and a few others family issues. Don’t punish them just support them. I thought punishments worked also but it just made it worse and the child becomes more isolated and then sad.
Does his school not offer ACA which is online courses?
Maybe try homeschooling if it’s possible for you to be able to do .
Maybe home school is in order
How old is he? Would online schooling benefit for him?
So what’s the reason? Homeschool.
When my son was 7, same issues with school. He hated school. I talked to teaches, then took him to a child physiologist. They had 2 meeting, test and talked. Then doctor keep me coming for months. I learned much about myself and after his 2 sessions he was better.
Oh I lived this. My son is 35 now and it was a long hard road. I ended up finding a juvenile deferment program and transferred him to an alternative education school. I was at a loss for what to do and frankly at the very end of my rope. It was the best thing I could have ever done for him even if he hated me for it at first.
In our state don’t matter how old they are they could be 5 of 15 if they miss more than 10 days it’s truancy and parents have to go court. They parents get punish if it still happens parents can face jail time and kids get sent to juvenile hall . No matter the age . He’s the child your the parent .
I suppose it really depends on why he doesn’t want to go to school if it’s bullying I get why he wouldn’t want to go .
However on the older hand if it’s just behaviour and defience then I would carry him there . I remember my sister when younger mum couldn’t get her to go to school my husband told her to get dressed to go and when she refused we took her to school and drop her off at reception in her pyjamas kicking and screaming . Kids will only keep pushing when they know you’ll eventually back down and do nothing about it . X
There’s no option for my kids to not go, is like going to work. I always tell my kids their job is to study while mine is to work and provide for them. If everytime my kid doesn’t want to go to school and I take her to fun places of course she wouldn’t want to go to school
I have been going through this with my son since 4th grade. He is now in 6th grade. In my experience, it doesn’t get better. It just gets worse with each passing year. As much as I want my son to go to public school for social reasons, at home he stays in his room, and his very introverted. This will be his last year in public school for his sanity and mine also.
Depends on age, but homeschooling or online schooling is an option. Making him more miserable somewhere else is not going to help. There are lots of homeschooling programs during the day that help with socialization. Battling him like this is only going to make him more resistant to school. Give up the battle and get his education somewhere else. A lot of times, they end up wanting to go back a year later anyway.
My daughter is also giving us trouble with going to school for what sounds like very different reasons. However, we have taken all electronics away during school hours. No phone, no switch, no tv, etc. She has an iPhone so I put it in downtime mode with access to nothing but texting me, my husband, my parents and her dad in case of emergency. We have parental controls on the internet so we can assign devices to a specific person and then block the internet to all of their devices with one click. She hates it because then she’s bored and all she can do is read or play with toys, but she’s 13 so she’s “too old” for toys - her words not mine. We also block everything from 9pm-6am so she actually gets some sleep. She hates it and has been going to school more often since we started this. It’s worth a try!
My daughter is like this, and I’m at my wits end with it, also. She has ADHD and is on the spectrum. Idk what else to do either. I feel your pain
It’s hard to really give suggestions without knowing if it’s a behavioral thing, a bully thing, teachers, rules, etc.
Are you working with a therapist? Not through the school but privately? That could be helpful to you both.
How old is he? If he’s under 6 then keep trying maybe he’s missing you. If he’s older then maybe he’s getting bullied? Maybe try a different school or homeschooling.
Depending on his age what about volunteering at an opshop he’d have to learn customer service and would have to either work or go to school?
Have you tried unschooling him?! It’s a lot to explain, but look it up. I’m thinking of doing this for my little ones. Depending on his age, explain to him that this is something you can try with him, and if he doesn’t follow through with this, then he hast to go back to school. 

Wow some of these comments are disgusting. Especially since there is context missing from the post.
Either way, Good on you mama for reaching out and trying to support your child.
In my situation my son is 13 and most mornings are a struggle. He is a “poster boy” for ADHD. He is not formally diagnosed but our assesment was initiated through our school when he was 11. When he is genuinely interested in something he excelles but more often then lot he struggles/ gets distracted while leads to him not wanting to go.
One thing I do is I do not focus on his grades. And yes I have explained it to him. I do not expect a straight A student but we do need to graduate highschool. Just because he does not learn in a traditional school setting does not mean he is stupid. I think he is far more likely to gravitate to his interests this way. I know people will disagree with this but that’s on them.
I also reached out to the school to find out if he is allowed things like fidget toys or music. Of course we are mindful of limiting distractions to other students. Luckily our teachers are very open to this. He has always used music as a way to settle his mind.
Don’t give up Mama, parenting is fucking hard.
“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
Have you tried just homeschooling?
How old is he? What happened to make him not want to go?
You need to speak to your local education authority and senco…to get him support or possible home school…
Please don’t make him miserable. Sounds like he’s miserable enough. Find an alternative school setting that suits him better.
Id personally arrange with the school for me to take him to school and stay with him in class until he is willing to go willingly. Or homeschool
You don’t say how old he is. How about volunteering at a food bank or a soup kitchen?
Be honest explain truancy. You WILL get in trouble.
Also your a mom. The boss he has to go. Don’t let him refuse. Have a cop tell him how important it is. Because you will get in trouble as the parent tbh. Or he us being bullied and don’t want to say.
But ultimately be straight up with him. If you don’t go to school, mom’s gonna get in trouble, have him actually get scared. I know you don’t want to scare your son. But what are you going to do when he’s refusing? Quote on quote to go to school and you’re in trouble.
If you haven’t done any of this , you haven’t tried everything and I mean this with the best of love
Maybe an outdoor alternative school? He might like that?
It’s against the law for him to not attend school and they will arrest you for not making him go . Find out if he is being bullied ? If so , I’d move or I’d homeschool him . But one way or another he has to attend school
Have you had your son screened for ADHD or autism? My son was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 3. His dad was not on board with the diagnosis and insisted it was behavior (Even after 3 psychiatrists diagnosed him). He is now 12 and struggling with school. Refusing to go, or having a “stomach ache/headache”. I met with the doctor on my own and got my son on medication for his ADHD and anxiety. It took some time, but things are getting better
Since we don’t know why, we cannot help. He doesn’t get a choice though. No electronics. No tv, no phone, no computer, no games, NOTHING when he is at home. He can stare at the wall.
Then do online homeschool, that’s where you can take him. Oh he won’t go to school 
Have U try the flow program join school refusal page very helpful page support
I guess it depends on the age of the kid……I’d find some place for the kid to work like physical manual labor….like a farm or I’d be home putting the kid to work actual work like racking leaves mowing the grass pulling weeds scrubbing floors washing windows. I’d be making his life miserable until going to school sounds like a cake walk!
Is he being bullied or can u home school. Him
We need so much more info…
But, maybe homeschool?
Is he being bullied at school?
Can switching to a new school be an option?
Is he in therapy? Has anything traumatic happened in his life?
How old is he?
Can he be homeschooled until he is ready to go back? So many questions
This post is too vague . Is he being bullied? How old is he? Ext…
Would homeschooling be a better solution for him?
Go to school with him. Sit with him for a full day.
Maybe have him do his studies outside away from everything. Library can have distractions with so many people going in and out, books, computers…
My anxiety started around 5th grade, middle school made it worse and then I refused to go also… threats, punishments, probation officers etc none of that worked. I’d suggest online schooling and therapy
Um idk how old he is, could be he’s sensitive to loud noises, sensory issues. My son was young went to school, got older hated school wouldn’t sit. We tried everything. He finally got his GED when he was 16 he is smart but hated school. What about home school?
Please don’t teach him that the library and books are, ‘punishment.’
Tantrums? How old is this son? Who is the adult? Who is in charge?
You might have to try and home school if that’s an option
Listen to Jim something is up see about home schooling
Missing too much info, for one, his age
Missing a lot of info to really help. Like if hes 5 and its his first year, I’d suggest you find out what the issue is as far as is he sad being away from you, is he being picked on. But if he’s 15, I’d suggest military school because “tantrums” at that age are gross and should be remedied before he gets into the real world. Idk
Homeschool him. I don’t think kids should be forced to attend public school. I wouldn’t have had kids if I knew I had to depend on the school to raise them while I work. Some kids do fine in school, some don’t.
The only questions was where I could bring him which is why I didn’t go into detail. He’s 10 years old, diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, has separation anxiety for which we are working on, no trauma in his life, he’s on the waitlist to be tested for Autism, he is not bullied, as I said, I’ve exhausted every resource, including talking with his teacher, the school and the school board and talking to many therapists, pediatricians, psychiatrists and psychologists. They don’t allow us to switch schools - it is strictly the one closest to the primary home. Homeschooling is not an option, online learning is also not an option, if it were, I would have done this. I can’t physically force him (which would literally be the only way) because he way too strong. And I’m not sure anyone has noticed but I said I have exhausted every resource in the community. I repeat "I HAVE EXHAUSTED EVERY RESOURCE IN THE COMMUNITY"
Some of these comments are nasty…thank you to the people with genuine answers who bothered to read the entire post❤️I appreciate it
All of you mothers saying “I make them go, there’s no choice”, what happens when they physically won’t move? And when they are the same size as you? How then? My God stop using this post to emphasize your dominance over your children
a non traditional school that’s what my parents did for me cause of the bullying and to me it was a life saver 
Maybe make him do hard physical labor like chores he hates? Like laundry, and cleaning,sorting, nothing age inappropriate but stuff u know he’d hate. Or drag him shopping on boring errands and make him spell things or do math or something?
It also depends on if he has friends or how he’s teachers are treating him.
Bring that baby home, and homeschool him!!! We don’t need to know why he doesn’t want to go, just the fact that he doesn’t tells me enough to homeschool him!!
Maybe your little boys dosent like being away from you his mam a sence of insecurity your his strength some children feel stressed and alone just needs to build up his confidence and know your going to be there when school ends ask his school would they advise you were you could send him to play therapy it’s for children like your little boy you can go along with him the therapest will incurage him to tell her his fears and what worry him in school and she incurages him to tell her in every session if he has any worries and she’ll play games he likes and you are welcome to join in he’ll build confidence in her and in time with every session your little boy will become confidence and will love going to tell her his worries and fears if it’s from his teacher to children in his class you be surprised what he has to say and you’ll love being there to listen in amazment and love hear him speak to his therapist and tell her all his fears in time hell love school and start mixing with children and feel confident to be there your a great mam and just worry about your little boy he’s lucky to have a mam so concerned and he know it look into the play therapist he’ll love it and you’ll learn so much from it it’s just a milestone in your little boys young life taking another big step he need you now to help him. being a mom our children will always break our heart and make us smile at the same time it’s true love we have for our children well go above and beyond for them to be happy it’s okay to miss your mam we do it all our lives miss our mams the bond is never broke good luck to you and your little boy
Couple days of this he will be ready for school just kidding don’t all attack at once
Age is a big variable here. How old is he? You wouldn’t want to treat a 5 year old the same way you treat a 15 year old.
I got threatened with boarding school when I tried this as a kid. And my mom threatened to sit in my classroom…nothing more embarrassing than having mom babysit…I know it sounds harsh! Has he been tested for anything? Maybe there’s a learning disability…hope you can come up with a solution that suits your family!
You’re the adult/ parent so do your job. As long as he’s knows that he can get away with it he will keep doing it. Unless you plan on being home with him and teaching him during the school hours he needs his ass in school. Sounds to me like he’s running the house.
Why does he not want to go? That would help us help you
Have you tried picking him up and making him
Talk to teachers see if any issues are happening as well. I dealt with this myself with my oldest and my size lol things are better now cause I spoke to the school
You’re a real special parent if you don’t make your kids go to school. That’s not an option in my house. I’m the parent I’m the provider I have to work. They have to go to school. End of story. 
I have been there myself, if you haven’t gotten into trouble already, you will and you don’t want that, but if you haven’t, I honestly would contact juvenile court and see if you can get a truency case worker to speak with him about how you can get in trouble with the law, it’s hard not knowing his age, but if he is 16 he will be the one to get in trouble with truency, maybe talking to someone there would give him a wake up call. Is he being bullied? If so, maybe look into another school or online schooling if it works for you
If he is getting bullied or feels like he doesn’t have friends then yeah I can understand that could do more harm then good sending him…but if he is just being stubborn and Lazy get the youth officer on board, or a strong/firm positive role model involved to get his butt to school.
If homebound or homeschooling isn’t an option and therapies are occuring to help him work through the issues you have to ask will the negative reinforcement help the situation or just exacerbate the situation. If no diagnosis that would make negative reinforcement/punishment ineffective then tell him that if he’s to “sick” to go to school then he’s to “sick” to play games and watch TV that he’ll have to just lay in bed or on couch and rest. Take him to all the places he least likes like stores with no kid stuff and wonder, library or worst case scenario would to be to set up a tour of the local police station and have someone talk to him about all the trouble truancy from school can cause. However I would lean towards thinking anything viewed as negative likely may cause the issue to be worse and even run the risk of causing distrust of you with child. This is a really hard one and my heart goes out to you. Just keep doing your best Mama you’ll get through this.
Have the Police to pick him up and escort to school!
It’s not really HIS choice to refuse
I did that one time man that hurt my ass
First of all how old is this child +
My son is 12 and out of the blue wanted to be home schooled and didn’t want to go to school anymore. Turned out he was being bullied. Our district has a strict policy of no bully tolerance. I called the principal and social worker. Plus the kids parents. Things got better. It was so bad my son wanted to kill himself. You need to really dig deep and find out what is going on and why he doesn’t want to go. Approach the school for help. He needs an education.
Well I guess it’s time for you to step up and be a mom these so-called parents want to be their kids best friend it don’t work that way
I don’t understand. Have you tried dressing him like a deadweight, baby doll and physically lifting him into the car and taking him to school? Rent a wheelchair if you have to to wheel him into the school. YOU are the parent! Some things you just forcibly enforce! Like school attendance!!!
Have a police officer take him to school or sit in juvee for the school day depending on age.
Ur a mess. No wonder he don’t want to go to school.
No to the library idea. Books he should learn to love.take him to church thats a toxic place
How old is your son? Has your son had a psychiatric assessment complete? Any diagnosis? It’s difficult for us to help is we don’t have some of the key components.
You should look into home schooling. Legally kids are only allowed to miss a certain number of days and if he misses to much they can take you to court where you will be fined for your kid’s truancy. My sister in law was just like your son and hated school and refused to go. It ended with my in laws having to go to court and being fined for her missing to much school.