define mistreated. Many times children will play parents against one another in order to avoid having chores, responsibilities, or to get what they want. For this reason and more its important to have open communication with step parents. Did you speak with this person and try and get to the bottom of it before calling DFS?
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You made the right choice.
Do what you feel right is for the child! First!
I hate you have now brought dss into your life. It will be a while before you can take a easy breath.
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You do what you have to do to protect your child âŚshes dumb enough to not listen to you the first time you warned her
Youâve got to protect your baby no matter who you piss off by doing it. If you just donât like her thatâs one thing but if your child says he was mistreated you have to believe him Every time! You made the right choice, good luck momma
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How could we possibly give you an opinion with no details? Mistreats him?
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Why did the dad tell you to talk to her instead of him doing it ? Why is he not doing his job as a parent ? Sometimes it sucks to have to make a report but itâs better safe than sorry
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Never Ever invite the State into your family unless it is absolutely necessary. Believe me, you donât want them involved! Should of handled within yourselves!
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Really depends on what you mean by mistreatâŚwhat happened before, what did he say happened this time, why doesnât his dad believe him, what is her side? Making a report is
a serious thing and if it was needed then you did the right thing but I canât give an opinion on if what u did was the right thing or not without more information.
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DCFS is the right choice. Your ex dosent believe him, maybe he will believe an investigator.
DCFS should be reaching out to you as well, because your your childâs mom. Check with them to see if your son should be going there during the investigation. Things can get stressed & dicey during the investigation.
You should have put on your big girl pants and talked to her. You literally only got his side of things and to calls DFS from one side makes you seem really immature and like a bitter baby mama. As an adult I would have had all three sit down and talk about the mistreatment and if nothing is resolved and his claim seems valid then I would proceed.
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It upsets me that the dad doesnt believe himâŚyour son will grow up amd resent him for not believing him and taking the stepmoms side.
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Why is it so many people think the child is lying ? And we wonder my children donât come forward 
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you are not wrong. enlist teachers and the school psychologist also, to interview him, they are mandated
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Not sure, what does mistreat mean? My son exaggerated everything. He says his step mom yells at him all the time⌠from my experience with my son-heâs scared when he gets in trouble, any raising of a voice and he says heâs scared. Heâs avoiding his own actions. At first I was upset, but then noticed this pattern of his. Iâm not saying u ignore but reporting to DCF is gunna bring a world of crap. A mature discussion directly with her shouldâve occurred first
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As a mother of two, to be honest Iâd wreck her life if sheâd hit or yell or whatever at my child. If thatâs what sheâs doing I would kick her ass but not involve cps unless she was beating him. But thatâs up to you. Next time just kick her ass
yes you did the right thing does your son lie or has he if so keep a eye on this kids teach other kids how to get people out of there life they know there is no conquenses sad but if true you need her gone
Define mistreat⌠Cause you gave no details
I had a step mother from the age of 12. My first experience was; I sat on my fathers lap. She told me donât you ever do that again! I knew then I had to be very careful and walk a fine lineâŚI could never get her to like me no matter how much I tried. She was looking for a reason to get rid of me. I had no place else to go as they had taken me out of a foster home! What a way to grow up! She and Dad an my mother are all dead! I survived raised a wonderful family! Believe this child!!!
You did the right thing. I always believe the child when they say they are getting mistreated unless it proven that the child lied. Itâs better to believe the child and have them safe then, to ignore them and have something bad happen.
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HE should be the one to talk to her. And you are not wrong at all.
Honestly, the grown thing to have done was had a conversation with step mom and heard her side . Remeber there are 3 sides to every story hers ,his ,and the truth. Having been calm and collected and asking about the occurence a better decision could have been made if dcfs should really be involved. What i know is this sometimes good people loose there kids by involving dcfs when all that was needed was a conversation. I know as a parent your first reaction is to always turn into mama bearâŚbut we gotta slow down and take in as much information as possible to then decide the best plan of action. Communication is important.
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You protect your kid.
Youâre not wrong. You have to do all you can to protect your child, especially since his father wonât. If thereâs a court ordered custody agreement, Iâd look into having it amended and have your son talk to the judge one on one.
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Better safe than sorry. There are so many incidents of boyfriends/girlfriends or step parents mistreating/abusing/ even sometimes killing the child. I wouldnât mess around if it were my kid! If they donât find anything than okay but if they do at least your child is safe
I would rather be safe than sorry. Making the report is the way to go - because if she is abusing your son, that paper trail will make it easier to keep him away from her, even if dad doesnât believe him. I would have done it too, and Iâm not worried about childrenâs services because I have nothing to hide and donât mistreat my children đ¤ˇ
Not near enough info. How old is the kid? Does he have a habit of making stuff up? Is he resentful of stepmom being in his life? Does he want mom & dad to be together still? Is there any proof?
Why not just talk to the woman rather than trying to make their life a living hell just to save you an awkward/ difficult/ uncomfortable conversation. If this is how you handle everything, you sound like you could potentially be labeled HC. Itâs important to realize that kids arenât always honest and they can be manipulative.
Again, thereâs not near enough information in this post for that kind of question.
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Blended families are hard. Itâs such an adjustment for everyone involved. Everyone! Your son, you, the step mom, your exâŚeveryone is in a tricky spot. I hope your son wasnât fibbing because DCF isnt a small accusation. Good luck to all involved.
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What is mistreat? Because I was told I mistreat because I dont think Legos belong at a dinner table during dinner?
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She mentioned even about her not touching him anymore either so I am taking an educated guess that this situation is serious. Me personal, I would have taken the same route. If my childâs father didnât listen to our child, when other family members also have witnessed the mistreatment of said child, you have no other choice. Itâs whatâs best for the child. Iâd rather go through this, than ignore things and have my child depressed, and acting out because nobody believe them. And even if by chance a child was in fact lying, there would absolutely be a consequence for that. But Iâll believe my child over anybody first and foremost. Good luck and also do what you think is best for your child. Donât let society guilt trip you. You can still ask for opinions and get genuine, helpful advice. Ignore the others.
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Regaurdless if ur son lies or exaggerates thing every concern a child raises should be believed untill proven not true! Id believe my child over anyone⌠If its happened before then more then likley to happen again and your son is being truthful go you you done the right thing xx
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Not sure why you wouldnât have contacted dcfs the first time!
Nope. You are right. When my daughter told us about her dadâs fiancĂŠe was hurting her, my ex cut her off and kicked her out. If he chose not to act then you have to do what you have to do.
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You did the right thing! Better than I would have done. Iâd have slapped the bitch lol
You did the right thing!
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DCF with no actual proof of abuse or being mistreated?! Wow!! Bruises? Video? Audio? Pics? Anything other than your childâs word? Kids def do lie ya know? Iâd be having an adult conversation with SM
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If he is telling you this then something isnât right kids donât just make this stuff upâŚYou did the right thing to protect your babyâŚ
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My children would never go back. He had their father and us meant to be protecting them. If he refuses to do that, thatâs on him. But my children will not be put at risk
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You did the right thing! If the father isnt correcting the situation & allowing this woman to be alone with your child then it falls on you to do everything you can to protect your baby!
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Anytime you feel your child is threatened or his safety and well-being are at risk, you are suppose to intervene and act on the behalf of your child. Itâs your job as a parent to protect your child. Itâs also the childâs fatherâs responsibility to do the same. As parents, you can never be too cautious or too protective, when your actions will prevent your child from being injured or mistreated. It would be great if all the adults involved in raising and caring for this child could put his best interests at heart, and get beyond pettiness, but when communication is not effective between the adults involved, outside help is necessary and required.
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Deff not enough information!!! How old is the kid, what do you mean by mistreated? I would have never called and made a complaint thatâs just opening a huge can of worms especially if nothing truly happened. I have a blended family.and my son makes up lies all the time to please his grandparents and vice versa⌠I would have had a sitdown with child, step mom and dad to get to the bottom of it.
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You Didi the right thing
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Iâm curious what you mean by mistreating. How old is trhe child? Really isnât enough info here to be truly helpful.
If it is abuse Iâd make the report and file for full custody or with supervised visitations without her.
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I learnt from hindsight when something similar happened to my children I should have contacted family services rather than give my ex partner the benifit of doubt (2 years latter itâs come back to bite me).
Just note DCF / children services will investigate BOTH households if you are in Australia.
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Get one of those spy cams that look as small as a cube of ice and make him put it in his pocket or on his backpack
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You did the right thing 100%
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Whether calling DCF is the right thing or not depends on what actually your son said happened. Does he have bruises? Most of the time CPS doesnât listen to the other parent. Itâs best if you can get a family member or friend of his or a mutual friend who has seen her mistreat him to call. Even better encourage him to talk to his teacher, pastor, doctor or other adult. Teachers & pastors are mandatory reporters. They gave to report abuse.
I would file for supervised visits. Bring his family in as witnesses. Keep a log of what all has happened, who has told you, any marks (take pictures) etc. Tell the judge all that & that dad continues to leave him with her & told you he doesnât believe your son.
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You did right you tried all other routes and they didnât work
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What is mistreated? According to my 6 year old i mistreat him by making him clean his room and giving a consequence (like privilege removal) when he doesnât. When he talks about it he tends to exaggerate and make it sound worse than what it is.
For exampleâŚ
The other night he wanted a drink. I got him a drink. He wanted a straw and i said no (he plays with the strawsâŚlike spits in them) he went and took one from the drawer anyway. Then was running around to stay away from me so i wouldnât take itâŚ
Instead of wasting energy and patience i grabbed his cup and dumped his water. I told him he wasnât getting a drink until he threw the straw away.
My grandma who arrived about that timeâŚhe ran up bawling saying i was refusing to let him have anything to drink at all.
Heâll play around at dinner time not eating. I warn him several times if he doesnât eat he can go to bed. When he doesnât listen and i tell him to go get ready for bed he runs to my mom and tells her Iâm starving him.
SoâŚhonestlyâŚi canât say whether you did the right thing or not. The whole always believe children things is a very precarious slopeâŚbecause kids misinterpret, exaggerate, and sometimes out right lie.
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If shes the step mum then that means shes married to your ex and not just a short term thing. As a blended family it can be assumed shes not going anywere and you dont have to be best friends or anything but id be definitely getting to know her, working together to coparent and if she is the type of person to beat children and not care what you say then 100% next step is keep your son away or government intervention.
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Lover broke up with me last week i was so sad I changed completely, I wasnât eating and i wasnât talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I was so depressed and stressed out that I was scared Iâm going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever then i found a powerful spell caster Called Dr goko that he solved so many relationship problem then Dr goko told me he will come back to me between 24hrs . he can also help you Email him at (Dr.gokospellhome12@gmail. com)
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Definitely report it to the police and CPS it needs investigating
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You did the right thing!! Heâs your priority and only focus!!
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I was once the step mom they swore up and down mistreated themâŚsimply bc the mom hated meâŚit didnât take her long after I divorced him to realize who actually took care of and provided for them.
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Give him a phone and have him record whatâs going on without her noticing.
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So my husband bought this little speaker/recorder device and we stitched it in my step daughters favorite stuff animal. I cant remember how much it cost but it was $15 a month to keep activated. We could turn it on and listen to convos. We could speak thru it but obviously we didnât and we had it set up with pin points like her moms address and ours so if she left that address we would get a notification. We also set it up so if she was traveling in a vehicle going faster then 55mph (thatâs what we set it for) we would be notified. They also make them with cameras too. Do what you can to catch her in the act
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My son when he was 5 years old went to his dadâs house for his weekend,and while his dad was at work his stepmother put him in the basement till his dad came home needless to say we had words and I never let my son go back 
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Always trust the kid. Always. If itâs wrong, itâll work out but if itâs not and it kept going THAT is the worst possible thing.
Iâm guessing if it rose to the level of a complaint itâs pretty bad.
Has to be so hard to deal with. Iâm sorry.
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Everyone saying he may be lying is insane. It will be the same ones having bad things happening to their kids and ignoring it. I was that child and Iâm so sick of hearing people question kids. Always believe them on first instinct, do kids lie and fabricate things? Absolutely. But it is your responsibility to trust your child and do what is necessary. If nothing comes back bad than thatâs great, no ill feelings you did what needed to be done for your son. DCF is no joke but if she is mistreating your son, or even disciplining him her way without your or your sons fatherâs permission than she is in the wrong! It doesnt matter how old he is, young or older. First instinct always trust your kid, even if they may be lying. I rather find out he was lying than find out my child came to me and i pushed him away because i assumed he was lying. Thatâs how people get away with terrible things.
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Confront the step mom. When my child told me this, I told their dad, who denied it. It was true! I shouldâve beat her ass for mistreating my child. Donât hesitate.
Your child complained, you discussed it with the woman and Dad. Your child complained again. You discussed it again with Dad. Dad said he didnât believe it and stated (or otherwise implied) he wouldnât intervene on the childâs behalf. You donât feel thatâs adequate, and perhaps being unsure about the âvalidityâ of the childâs claims, you asked the authorities to fully investigate. I think thatâs perfectly reasonable. You didnât get the answers you needed, so you asked an offical to investigate on your behalf. What is wrong about that? If your child said your neighbor came in the house and stole something. And you discussed it with your neighbor to no definitive conclusion. Then your child said they broke in again, and a second discussion took place with no clear answers. Would you be here asking if it was ok you called the cops about it? No. So why worry about this? If she didnât hurt the child, whatâs to worry about? If she did, let them figure it out and decide the appropriate course of action.
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You did the right thing. You are his mom. It is your job to protect him. His dad is failing him. I am not sure I would be comfortable with my son even going to visit without supervision.
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I called on my sister because her husband left bruises on her son one time. Courts said hes not allowed alone with the boy but she leaves him with her husband anyway. Her ex is trying to get custody. Her husband also has a life long history of drug abuse (he like pain killers, meth and alcohol). Good luck.
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I watched a show where a stepmom groomed her ten year old stepson to shoot his dad by lying he had cancer. This little boys real mother signed here rights over to this witch not knowing all the abuse this little boy was going through. Step in mom yell scream get someoneâs attention. Donât give up on helping your child. The father may not know the truth of what is going on. Call whoever you need to for help. Your instincts are probably right.
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I would discuss it with her and let her know you wouldnât stand for it
You are right. If your family has seen her act this way donât except it
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Take your son to counseling. When he tells the counselor about what heâs experiencing they will have to report it. CPS should then investigate.
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I would speak to the women one on one and if your son tells you it continues after the. I wouldnât let him go back
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You made the right call. If there is abuse, it needs to be taken seriously⌠If there is nothing going on and he is exaggerating, dcs will investigate and close the case with no harm done.
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Please define mistreat. Whatâs the childâs age?
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Protect your child if the dad not gonna do anything bout it keep him away from her next time he goes back over there she might hurt him severely
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I donât know if you are overreacting or not.
I know that you better be sure before you throw your kid in the middle of all of this. If this is unfounded or untrue your child could have a lot of anxiety, depression, and guilt.
If its founded and truthful you are right to report it.
I think getting your child into counseling should be your first step in finding answers.
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I would fuck someone up!
I donât see why you have an issue talking to her about it, even if you already did once? I think Iâd be a little more aggressive about it if it were my child but thatâs just me. 
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YES YOU DID GREAT! Call the cops call who ever you need to if it keeps your baby safe. Never ever doubt your self girl! And F*** that W****! Who the F*** does she think she is??? I would have wanted to crippled her for touching my son! But you did the mature adult thing and made that call. 10 out of 10, Youâre Mom of the year!
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Why is everyone just assuming mistreat means physically abusing? I mean. Come on. Really?
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When I had an issue with my exâs girlfriend I sent her a certified and signature required letter that spelled out exactly how she did not have my permission to put her hands on my son in any kind of way, told her the kissing my baby on his lips would stop. I kept a copy in case I needed it at court to document the problems. She got the hint. Left my kids be and they split up a few months later. That is what I would do if I was you. Writing a letter was a better option for me b/c I wanted the documentation that I had adressed it and honestly this girl was awful and I wasnât risking an assault charge because she said something too stupid.
rules and consequences donât have to be exactly the same in both homes. Legally, a step parent can, and should discipline a child. II. STEPPARENTSâ RIGHT TO DISCIPLINE GENERALLY
Just as a biological parent who has custody and control over a child has the right to discipline a child in a reasonable manner, so too does a stepparent who stands in loco parentis to a child have the right to discipline a child in a reasonable manner. SeeMargaret M. Mahoney, Stepfamilies and the Law194-99 (1994).
This right is spelled out in many state statutes. For example, Ga. Code Ann. 16-3-20(3) (1992) provides:
The fact that a personâs conduct is justified is a defense to prosecution for any crime based on that conduct. The defense of justification can be claimed . . . [w]hen the personâs conduct is the reasonable discipline of a minor by his parent or a person in loco parentis. â
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Im so mean 𤌠yall so nice 
i canât give my advice lol
. You ever see what happens when something threatens a momma bears cubs đ¤ˇ
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Iâll tell you thisâŚmy stepmom came into my life at 2. We hit some rough patches. I definitely over exaggerated our disagreements because âshe wasnt my momâ. That was for a few years. We then moved past that phase. I didnt want my stepmom picking me up from anywhere or being with her. My dad complied and made sure I was comfortable and eventually we moved out of that phase. It was silly but I wouldnt take it to heart too much. Ask more direct questions. It could just be they arent getting their way so they arent happy. Itâs a kid thing. But if you think itâs super serious then take a serious route. But I think just make the kid comfortable for now and it will all blow over. Especially if dad shows the kid that sheâs not going anywhere. They will get along eventually.
I canât possibly guess if you did the right thing or not. What kind of abuse? Not knowing what this means, so its hard to form an opinion on this little information.
Age of child? I always tend to believe kids if theyâre having a hard time with an adult. Are things rocky between the families? Obv if u see signs of abuse thatâs immediate cause for action
Is this a toddler or preteen not getting their way?
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Always believe the child. I think you made the right call
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Shit I wouldâve confronted her
If you feel that it was the right choice then thatâs all that matters! You are mom! It would be a cold day in hell if someone mistreated my child and an even colder one if they continued to do it!
I wouldnt let my daughter or child go regardless until you know they are going to be safe to many people out their not believing children and horrible things are happening
What age is the child, what did he do, what exactly did she do. If I were a stepmother and the child misbehaved and he deserved to be put in time out or sent to his room I would do it. I would never lay a hand on a child mine or his. Especially his, children have way of making things sound worse than they are. If you need to do something and want to send a certified letter make sure you notarize your copy and hers and send it certified mail. If this doesnât work call cps.
When it came to my son nothing would stop me protecting him and it didnât! The Dad doesnât believe his son and he doesnât see what is happening? How old is your son? Keep your son at home until you know for sure what is happening . Question your son and find out He is there to be with his Dad so why is he gone? Not a good situation. My son refused to go with his Dad at 5. He never was with his Dad, I was his stable parent. Told my Ex just bring him home if you arenât going to be there with himâŚPERIOD!!
Lots of kids play one parent against another in divorce.
Getting professionals involved is NEVER a bad choice when it comes to children IMO
Social Services and The Sheriffâs Office. And, there is probably a civil suit you could file against her.
I believe you shouldâve talked to her. Believe your child but you need to sit down with dad and step mom and then with the child. Youâre going to be forced to now anyway.
Go with what your gut tells you, it shouldnt happen in the first place, and should have definitely stopped after the conversation. Turning to professionals is the best step to take. They will know what direction to take legally to keep him safe
Iâm watching my son go thru this with his daughter. Itâs a hard call. Because adults forget to talk and jump to accusations, raising everyoneâs defense mechanisms.
Honestly⌠yâall need to talk it out together. Not just telling the dad he better check himself
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You did the right thing mama 
protect your child at all costs. If itâs not true, sheâll have nothing to worry about. If sheâs guilty, her true colors will show.
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You did what you think is right and stood by your son! XO isnât wrong no matter who has bad feelings about it! He is lucky to have such a stand up mom! 
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I would keep a log book of specific facts of how she mistreats him and when. After enough evidence call a family meeting with all adults maybe even a neutral 3rd party adult in the meeting and state all your facts and how it makes you feel. Then his dad and step mom have no choice but to hear the reality of the situation and the child will have a 3 rd party person so he feels safe and feels like they wonât hang up on him.
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Personally I am proud of you for not brushing this off. Youâre doing your job as a mother and there is nothing wrong with that. Your child will appreciate it more than you will ever know!
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DCF should only be involved if your child is at risk or in danger. This post is way too vague to know if you made the right call. My daughter played me against her step mother for years because of my reactions. When I realized what was happening we all discussed it. Sheâs 15 and loves her step mother, she still occasionally complains and itâs my job to just let her vent. I hope you did the right thing but only you can know that for sure.
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