Honesty, I’m a step mom too so from my perspective is she’s just trying to help you two out. And that she loves your son as if he’s her own. In my opinion I would be grateful it’s rare finding our ex’s other half understanding and cooperation and most importantly accepting that the kid(s) of the person he/she dating is part of the package and loving the kid as if he/she is our own. I had my fair share of picking up my hubby’s two kids and I’m the one mainly taking care of them when it’s his holiday and weekends
From a mama perspective I understand how you’re frustrated and feel that she overstep her boundaries. Why don’t you arrange a meeting with her and your ex and talk to them about how u feel and that next time ur ex gonna have the gf be the one to do anything relating to you guys son he’s to talk to you about it first . Also talk to the school about how is she being able to pick up you guys son and that you didn’t know about it. With every school the parents designate who is allowed to do anything school related with the kid(s) besides parents if the person ain’t on the list it’s their job to call both parents about it and see if it’s really okay for the person to do such thing .
I would talk to the dad and the school. Step mom requires marriage and I would tell the school she has no legal standings without both parental concent. Dad has to actually be a dad & set up pick-ups on his own, not her. It takes 20 minutes to call the school. Something you can do on a lunch break. Even if he asked her to do it, SHE still shouldn’t be able to call a school to call about a kid she doesn’t have custody of in the first place. My kids school won’t even release information without parent authorization. You need to talk to administrators as soon as possible. This is ridiculous!
Look as long as she isn’t harming ur child in anyway and u and her can talk than why not let her help!! It takes a village… it’s not about us and our feelings if it works and YOUR child is happy than why let it bother u
It’s not about jealousy when it comes to this ! This is about the child’s best interests. If mom and dad can and are coparenting equally and communicating effectively and can work out schedule conflicts then she is overstepping her boundaries. A child should have as much of a “normal” family ( mom and dad ) as possible being together or not. She should have asked permission to do all of the things she was doing and she did not. Also she has a court order stating parents ( mom and dad call eachother when they need eachother for the child not her.