i think u should stop being a bitter petty baby mom and let it be 
if thursdays and fridays are the days dad gets him and hes not available to pick up but gf/step mom is then so be it. its not really overstepping. especially if they’ve been togehter long eniugh for her to consider your child as one. her own. stop being bitter. and get over it.
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She doesn’t have right. And the school should not give the child to his step mom. Parents only 
. And she should only have a relationship with your son when his father is around or be with your son when his father is around. Nothing more put her in her place or take legal action against her because she’s only confusing your son:woman_shrugging:.
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Whoever you put down at the beginning of the school year should be the only people allowed to pick him up from school… the school would have to follow that, otherwise they are looking at a potential lawsuit.
If she isn’t down as able to pick him up, she has no leg to stand on with the school.
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You’re the parent not her. So she has no rights and if the school even gives him over to her they could get in trouble. You should be going up there yourself and tell them in person she is not allowed what so ever to pick him up UNLESS you call that day and give verbal approval
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I’d be calling the school and telling them absolutely no, as well as telling her to watch her damn self before she steps over the line about my kid. Not cool.
Our school doesn’t release any of the kids to anyone that is not added to the pick up roster. 3 people besides my husband and myself are allowed to pick my son up after school or check him out early from school. I’m the primary contact because my husband works during the day.
How long have her and dad been together?
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I understand where you’re coming from and they should have told you and you not have to find out from the school. At least she is trying to help and be there. Some women hate the other children and wouldn’t care.
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Dad should be parenting and figuring out schedules during his time. Let him figure it out. As long as the child isn’t in harms way there should be no issue with him making these decisions.
I wouldn’t fight it honestly, he seems to be active and the girlfriend seems to care. It could be alot worse.
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Who here really knows. Ask the court.
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Don’t be bitter it they defiantly could of talked to you about it and because you are mom give you the option over her but it’s dads time so I feel like it’s his choice and I would be thrilled she even cares enough
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I would bitterly beat the st t out of her
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I think her picking him up should have been discussed with you in advance and that she cannot have any rights to make any changes at the school I would be fuming
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She doesn’t have the right, and it overstepping. But I would appreciate that she wants to be involved. Maybe sit them down and explain that.
Ur in for a bumpy ass ride if ur always gunna try and use power of the pus say every time… all I hear is MY MY MY ME ME ME
Lol who does this women think she is? Arrangements should be discussed between you and the father, if the father wants her included, he needs to speak on her behalf, she has no right to be calling and going into your sons school.
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Honestly what is everyones problem with " dads girlfriend" if she is not harming the child or doing something that will affect the child then what is the fucking problem? So many people see the “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” the enemy! This sounds like jealousy because you arent the only mother figure in your sons life. Honestly grow up. Your “sons dads girlfriend” is just another person to love your child! Is that not okay? Im so glad my partners baby mumma aint like this. My partners ex asks me to pick their kids up if shes busy or asks me to take them to rugby. This just sounds petty af to be making such a huge deal out of nothing. At the end of the day your son is being looked after and not mistreated so what is your problem, im not married to my partner, yet they refer to me as their stepmum and so does my partner. Grow up a bit i say🤷♀️
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Being just a GF and not wife, I think she overstepped alot. Take it up with the father and if you have to a judge.
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Be happy she’s willing to help. Stop being jealous of the new girlfriend.
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I think you still have feelings for your ex and that’s what hurts the most. Maybe get to know her and talk to her about what you would or not feel comfortable with… You know… Like adults
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My dad and my step mum are NOT married been together 20+ years why do they have to be married for her to count??? I think it’s great she’s getting involved and helping out
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Jesus call an attorney. Stop being petty
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Why does it matter that his gf picked up the child on his time? I don’t think a judge is going to care unless it gets modified. And as far as them giving the school the legal papers, oh well. If it’s dad’s time then he should be able to dictate who picks up the child, yes, even if it’s another woman. Is the child in harm? If not, I would just make sure someone is at least picking him up. Sounds more like a jealousy issue in my opinion.
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Tell the school she has no responsibility for the child, you are first contact for any situation and that they are failing in their duty of care if they continue to even discuss your child with this woman. I recently had training for this and found out that even a Step-Parent has no right to be involved in the child’s schooling unless they have a legal document saying so and we mustn’t even talk to them for Safeguarding reasons…let alone hand a child over to them.
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Legally she has no recourse for picking up your son. Legally the school can be held liable for releasing him to her if she is not on an approved pick up list. If you have sole legal custody than he can’t add her as an approved pick up person.
Talk to the school. Bring your custody paperwork showing that you have sole legal custody and that while he is allowed to pick up your son, he is not allowed to add anyone to the list of people who can
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Dad has the right to delegate a pick up person if he’s not available during his scheduled time
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First off the school should not be releasing your child to anyone that is not on that paper
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My kids school nobody can just check them out or pick them up unless that persons name is on the paperwork for the school and you have to have an id present cause if not they will call the parent and find out… They (the child) also has to have have a note before going to school saying so in so is picking them them up and signed by the parent… But sounds like the girlfriend is stepping way over her limit she is nothing to your child and the dad needs to say something to her
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If he has custody “after school” and not a set time then he has every right to allow her to pick his son up. If he got out at 2:20 then that is after school. Unless there is a specific time on Thursday afternoon then you would need to be notified before that time. Thursday after school is just too broad, set a time.
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She needs to stay in her lane!..GF is all she is
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I think u need to move on . What and how he sorts out childcare has nothing to do with u she felt as though she had to show the paperwork based on the fact that u didn’t update childcare pickups when u changed the times . This suits their household . From Thursday to Sunday do u feel as if this is going to be okay for you ? Any arrangements should be discussed privately . With all three of you. Guess what ur all raising that little boy ,the way this world is set up dads are more likely to work relying a lot on step mommy’s to step in for things such as pickups . It’s not easy for anyone don’t make it difficult, she is not replacing you
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Someone wants her ex back!! Being petty wont do it. New girlfriend must be prettier
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Yes you should as agreed
Have you talked to the dad? I would start there
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However, as a girlfriend, not wife, I don’t think she has any legal standing. Check with your attorney.
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A lot of custody agreements state only the parent or step can pick up- no boyfriends or girlfriends- for the child’s consistency. Seems like if OP feels this strongly about it, it might be a good time to assess that part of their agreement.
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Why is everybody telling you to stop being bitter? That’s not the case! You are the mother. You should be the one picking your son up UNLESS you & his dads GF talked about her picking your son up. Then okay. She is overstepping forsure. The dad should be the one saying all of that.
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Screw that. Dad’s time starts when he gets off work Thursday. There is absolutely no reason his girlfriend should be picking the child up. Mom should pick him up if dad is unable to. Its ridiculous to even think that dad’s girlfriend gets to make any decisions involving the child. If the court paperwork stated the other parent gets first option for babysitting when the parent is unable then MOM gets to pick up the child and when dad gets off work he can pick him up from her.
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Address the school so they are aware that she is not married to your son’s father. She has no authority and the school should not be speaking to her or releasing your son to her.
Address your son’s father about the situation as well. Especially if your legal agreement states the other parent is the babysitter in the absence of the parent is unavailable for pick up on their custody day.
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My sons dads girlfriend brings and takes our son to daycare on his week. Just means she cares for your child! In my opinion … and technically on his week he would need to find a way cause it’s his time
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How can she pick him up and by just calling and telling them? We have to fill out paperwork on who is allowed to pick out kids up, so how did that work?
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Uh yeah that’s a no from me. If she wants to pick him up Thursday’s that’s fine. But her to call the school etc isn’t okay. He should of done that. Or you.
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Since the child needs cared for until dad is off work and you have provisions stating you’re first on the list you pick him up and she has zero right to have any involvement, ring or not.
She is the girlfriend not the step mother/ wife honestly I think she had no right and the school should have told her as much unless she is listed as an emergency contact or person authorized to pick up the child.
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You need to do a modification of the current order of pick up on Thursday since there has been a change in circumstances …I would modify it to dad picking him up on Fridays after school. We has this exact schedule from Thursday after school which was until 430 pick up sunday at 6 …this was the preschool schedule . Our son is now 8 . Luckily I was able to work it out with the ex in the best interest to be able to keep him through the week instead of effecting our sons routine once he moved to Kindergarden since he would get out at 230 . We worked it out that dad picked him up on Friday either after school or from.day care and dad would drop him off Monday morning to school. It gave our son consistency and i dont have contact with his dad which is nice this way . Our son is in 2nd grade now and with the distance learning we do now his dad will pick him up on Friday at 4pm and drop him off on Sunday at 7pm
I’d speak with your lawyer and see what they say about it.
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If Thurs are his dad’s day, it makes sense they get him after school that day. Let me guess, you’ll be the one to bitch when she cant bond with him because you’re so insecure you cant handle her trying to care for the child. Let it gooooooo and realize you’re not the only parent.
Enjoy your time being kid free unless the kids in danger don’t sweat things like this. Let her watch him.
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This isn’t a jealousy or bitter baby mama issue. The father’s girlfriend clearly overstepped her role. Anything to do with school is the parents responsibility; if they all agreed that the gf can go do pick ups then the parents and gf should go down to the school TOGETHER. The gf definately had no right going to the school by herself practically demanding these parental rights. If the school changes any paperwork or routines because the gf is telling them to do so that is clearly against the law.
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Ide let her pick child up from school if that’s what he has arranged not much you can do let it slide
I would however override her on all stages about not contacting you if child is sick. Hell no.
I had the same problem & i told him that i was not going to deal with this. If he can’t make it to get the child when school is over then he can get the child when he’s off work. I know some people are saying let it go or how at least she cares, but there is a line & she needs to respect that.
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He should have contacted the school, not her. BUT it’s up to him who helps on his parenting time. Butt out.
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Id contact the school and inform them IF they release your child to ANYONE other then you or his dad you will file a lawsuit and kidnapping charges
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Oh hell’s no. What does he have to say about what she did?!
Hi! I work in a school. If that woman isn’t on that emergency card (that you signed) she legally cannot pick him up. Agreement or nah
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I would be pissed with the school if they accepted documents and drop off/pick up information from someone who isn’t the legal parent or guardian of my child. This is actually a safety thing. So anyone can go up to the school say I’m so and sos girlfriend and I’m taking the child? Nope 
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I am a teacher in an elementary school. You need to meet with the principal. Tell him you are the legal guardian and no one but you can say who picks him up. Also, principal needs to notify your sons teacher. Cover all your bases. If you should change your mind later, then YOU go put her name on the list. Legally, the school is responsible too. Good luck! (Remember to always do what’s in the best interest of the child)
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I would come unhinged.
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I agree that you have a right to be upset. There should be conversations taking place but unfortunately I went through similar and the courts told me I didn’t have any say as to what takes place during his time, including if he has someone else pick up the child in his place. If I felt there was negligence taking place then I needed to file a report and an investigation would take place otherwise i had no say. It’s sad cause I believe if the child can’t be with one parent then the other parent should have first option.
Hellooo people not the girlfriend’s place. I do not want my ex back but this would piss me off. I would discuss it with the both of them make new agreements between you. Rocking up at school with paperwork does not mean shit! Is her name on there? You probably thought you was doing them a favour and picking up the slack. I would be livid that the school relays this to me and not them. But if this is America then it is different.
So if you were busy one day and wanted your mom ( for example) to pick him up. Would you clear it with his dad? Or would you say that on your days it’s your choice who you have pick up and watch your child?
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If you’re able to get him, and you’re not have to cu hours or anything, then I see nothing wrong with you pick up your own son. Call me a bitch, but you and him fucked and made that child. Not her. Now, unless you’re okay with her being involved in your sons life to the extent of entrusting her with caring for your child whilst both parents are gone, then that’s cool too. She needs to earn her trust. Idk how long he’s been dating her, what kind of relationship they have, or if it’s where he plans on marrying this chick? So it’s really hard to say.
What is with you bitter ass women?? Be grateful another woman wants to be involved. What are you scared of? Seriously what are you scared of? Your kid having a fan in his corner, taking him for ice cream? Get the f over yourself, it’s not about you. Stop being mad hee doesn’t want you. What he does on his days isn’t your business. 
🤦🤦
She needs to butt out and stfu!
Set boundaries now immediately his still young or you will have problems she have no bloody right I would’ve sorted her out a long time ago 
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I’d request a meeting with admin at the school. Show up with your paperwork and give them a copy to keep on file. Then they are the ones who have to tell 'ol girl no, and call you every time she tries to pick up. She has no say. Literally no say. Put your foot down now so that she doesn’t try to push her luck any further… because she will.
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She is jus a girlfriend not the wife she has no right
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I feel like you’re overreacting?
If Thursday-Sunday is their time then why would you want to be called instead of the girlfriend?
It makes more sense to have someone in the same household be the one “on call”
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I think there are big factors not mentioned here,
But first and foremost I think the solution to this “issue” can be found between Mom&Dad, and then from there depending on what agreement is met THEN go get the agreement changed, or just civilly verbally agree to it.
Long story short, this was me once upon a time.
My son’s dad and I were newly divorced and simultaneously came the girlfriend. We had an original pick up agreement and when school/Jobs changed then of course who could pick him up did as well. The girlfriend wanted to be “stepmom”. It took a lot of self control but I had to take my emotions out of the equation, put my ego aside, and think about my son.
Did he like her?
Was she nice to him?
Was she responsible?
Did my son mind her picking him up?
It’s all about what’s best for the kiddo, but we all had to commit to it, yes all 3…me, the ex, the girlfriend.
Was she part of the legal agreement, no, but we all checked out egos, and figured out who would pick up my son.
So the advice you are seeking is not so easy to give without all this consideration, but these are some things to think about.
Whatever conclusion you come to, I hope in the kids eyes, he never knows there is an “issue” being discussed. 
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Umm 
hell NO!!! That 
one needs to be put back in her box 
and told it’s nothing to do with her
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Um why is your sons school even speaking to the “step mom”? That would be my first question. I would contact the school and let them know whats going on.
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She doesn’t have any right to do anything like that. He should be contacting the school if He wants her to do pick up etc. I am assuming you’ve been told off staff she is doing all this. Speak to him and ask why is she doing this. IF He has asked her to the explain how you feel. Then IF He has asked her to then i would let her do it.
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To be honest I’m om his side.
Thursdays-Saturdays are his responsibility and his days with his kid.
So if she’s sick from school that day there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be able to pick her up from school early.
And if his girlfriend can pick her up when he’s at work I dont see a problem with that at all.
Would you like it if he picked up ur daughter from school on one if your days?
Those are his days to spend time with his daughter how he chooses to.
You need to be more focused on your own days.
And if his girlfriend lives with him then it is absolutely her business when his daughter is going to be there and if she needs to pick her up from school for him.
And I dont think anything’s wrong with her bringing the custody agreement to the school because it sounds to me like you’re trying to go around the court order and sneak your daughter away from school on days that arent assigned to you.
So its absolutely necessary for the school to know who can pick her up on what days and who can’t.
Quit being a selfish bitch
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That would definitely piss me off. It’s one thing for a step parent to be involved but she is trying to be in control. The school shouldn’t be talking to her about your son . period. You should talk to your ex about lines and make a plan.
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Calm down. That paperwork legally was supposed to be submitted before he started school. As for her picking him up etc during the fathers custody time. That is none of your business and you have no right to pick him up or make your own arrangements because of the custody arrangement. It would be no different than the father having daycare assigned for him. And if she is a parental presence during his stay at his dads she is the stepmom. Your overstepping boundaries you fought to get time off etc. Unfortunately your the only one not going by the agreement and honestly he’s in control now that you broke the agreement without his approval. And failed to provide the agreement to the school is also against the law. Hugs. I hope you can backpedal. Hugs. I understand your jealousy but that’s all it is. 
. Moms aren’t always right and our tendency to think we have all the power eventually backfires. Also I’d talk to a lawyer bevaose if he has paperwork to have him Thursday to Sunday you DONt have sole custody. And sound unrational. Hugs.
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Hell to the no I was divorced from my kids dads new wife didnt even pull that shit. I was custodial parent and everything went through me
Most schools nowadays have the parent(s) fill out forms about who can pick the child up. With my son’a school that’s what happens and if I’m not picking him up or if the daycare isn’t picking him up they ask for me to notify the school who on the list provided will pick him up. They also require ids for all authorized people. I would say the girlfriend definitely over stepped some boundaries.
Wooh!! I would be furious too! She’s needs to take 3 huge steps back. File a complaint with the school- they should never have discussed your son with her. And yes, it should be you, not her, picking up your son. The dad can pick him up after work. AND, if your child is sick, call you, the parent.
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I think the girl friend should have talked to you about it first and said hey is it fine for me to get him since he’s out earlier, and then go from there. She definitely was out of line for that. I would call the school and speak to them and then call your sons father and talk to him about his girl friend and was position she plays for the co parenting situation
I say be thankful shes active in his life. Shes just someone else to love him.
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I mean she definitely had no right to take in your custody agreement without yours or your ex’s consent. But shouldn’t you be thankful that she’s willing/wanting to be involved with yours sons life this much? And if your ex has custody Thursday-Sunday what is wrong with the girlfriend picking him up? I mean unless they’re not living together I don’t see the issue with that.
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I think it all depends on how long she’s been in the kids life. If she’s been around for awhile and is good to your child then I really don’t see the big deal. My oldest father can’t drive right now so I let his girlfriend bring her home when she goes over to see him. It helps me out. And I know she cares about my daughter and is just trying to help… I think if it’s dads court ordered day to get him then he should be able to have his girlfriend pick the child up. Clearly he trusts her. Especially if they live together and the girlfriend is always helping out and everything. When my oldest dad first got a girlfriend, I was petty af. But then I realized she isn’t this horrible person I painted her as in my head and my daughter loves being around her and I know she’s safe so I got over it and it’s been so much better ever since.
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I used to date someone with children and I used to pick the kids up from school and had a great relationship with their mum. Maybe try to speak with the gf? Z
Why are you asking a mom group?if you’re so “concerned” and this isn’t just you being petty(which it sounds like) go speak with an attorney or file a modification in the parenting time …
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While I feel she should be communicating this with both of you, it seems like you guys need a civil conversation on how you guys are going to coparent the child in question. This isn’t necessarily a verbal battle between who’s picking up the child and how this is happening it’s not about you guys it’s not about you versus her it’s about what’s best for him and how he’s going to get home from school
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Listen my school wouldn’t even let my fiance take my oldest son at first until they called me and I had to put him on the list over the phone and give verbal permission! And he’s the only dad he’s ever known, and we have another son at the same school together! He was picking them both up! Now that he’s in the adoption process it’s alot easier because I can put him in as “father” now but that school definitely shouldn’t of even entertained her.
The last time my sons fathers gf went to pick up my son without telling me because his father said it was okay I flipped out at the school because she was not on the list to be picking him up. So if I was you I’d be making phone calls ASAP! I went to their house and picked up my son because his father choose not to say anything and not communicate, so I went and did the same thing he pulled. Picked up my son and went home. Put your foot down you have sole custody not his gf.
Ok major sketch, BUT does she love your son? Maybe she isn’t the enemy… Maybe she’s a blessing who will love and nurture your boy AND be a resource for you when you need help.
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This girl is overstepping her boundaries. Sorry no way. She’s a girlfriend not a wife. Put a stop to it now. You’re Mom, you go pick him up. Let ur ex discuss options with you first then you can decide whether or not GF should pick up but ONLY if the BOTH of you discuss this first.
She is not allowed to pick your son up. And if the school lets her call the cops. This is and A and B between the parents. The Gf needs to C her way out of it.
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Get a hold of an attorney and find out what you could do cuz she is really overstepping I wouldn’t let my son go around that woman if I was you cuz it sounds like she’s trying to take over your role and step it in line and push you out just get ahold of my lawyer and see what you could possibly do if you have to get a new parenting plan in place stating that only you and the father or allowed to pick the child up from school not no stepmom no girlfriends no boyfriends or stepfather
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Definitely speak to a lawyer. She’s nice to try and help but she’s not wife/step mom… If she was it would be a different story.
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it’s his time; his day. I’m sorry but you’re acting like an idiot. My now husband use to pick my kids up from school, from the bus when I was still at work, or got called in. Even when we wasn’t married… and if my memory serves correctly, my ex husbands now wife has went in and changed my boys’ address… Bc neither one of us was available… Bc it was important that someone did it that day. So to me, I think she isn’t over stepping. I think you’re being petty and jealous.
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I felt the same way about my ex’s new new girlfriend. I decided to call her and we met for coffee. I wanted to know about the woman who was spending time with our son. Her and I became friends and now they are divorced . She truly loved my son and it was reassuring to me. Maybe call her and meet?
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I’m sorry but I think you are overreacting. It must be hard to start sharing him with another mother figure, I can understand that. But y’all really need to coparent and communicate like adults and figure this out with maturity.
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Truthfully? She sounds like she really cares for your son. On the dads day or time, its dad’s responsibility to figure things out. I think u may be over reacting quite a bit.
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Your last entered court order is the default when a party disagrees. If the father now disagrees with it, he has a right to file with the court to request a change. Until that order is changed by the judge, it is what both parties must follow.
Honestly I think a lot depends on how long they have been together… if it hasn’t even been a year, i would definitely be heated… i also dont like women who like to pretend a child doesnt have a mother or a good mother and do whatever they want as far as motherly duties goes… seems to me you all need to sit down with a third party and set up some ground rules on what is and isnt acceptable from all adults in the situation…
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If they have been in an established relationship and it’s not like a new girlfriend I say she should be allowed to pick up the son on dads day. She’s trying to help, and it is important to have that bond with a step parent. I’ve been one for almost as long as my step daughter has been alive. But, she definitely should have ran this by you, or the father should have.
Remember, YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN AROUND STEP PARENTS THAT ACTUALLY CARE AND WANT TO PLAY THE ROLE OF A LOVIBG AND SUPPORTIVE PARENT.
I think emotions get in the way of the bigger picture, it’s about the child being safe and happy too.
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While it’s nice that his girlfriend wants to pick up your son and obviously has no problem spending time with him, it should have been discussed with you beforehand and they should have made sure you were happy with these arrangements. I’m surprised the school would have agreed to anything without checking with you first. Are you annoyed that she is collecting him, or annoyed that she was just presumptuous without consulting you? If it’s the latter, then take a deep breath and try to sit down with them and discuss it and try to come to an agreement that will suit everyone. And make sure they know in future that any decisions regarding your son has to be in conjunction with you, as long as you are the same with his dad and major decisions are run by him too.
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