I have a six-year-old son. His father and I were together for seven years but broke up when my son was 2 ½ when we broke up. Since then, he has been in and out of the picture, just in really bad shape. My son loves his dad so much and gets super excited at any chance to see him. Well, yesterday my ex was in a horrible accident and didn’t survive. I haven’t told my son yet. I was wondering if anyone has been through something similar and how did you break the news?
How awful. I’m sorry
I’ve been through this. If you want you can PM me.
It’s hard but you can help your son through this.
Ashley Drinkard Frey maybe you can offer some advice.
My son lost his daddy when he was about 3… Bone cancer… You have to just sit down with him and talk to him… Baby… Mommy has something really important to tell you and it’s bad news… I’m so sorry baby but, your daddy was in a car accident… And he isn’t alive anymore… If you’re religious you can tell him anything where you believe he is… If he’s ever lost a pet you can explain how that pet died, it’s like that. I’m very sorry…
I went through this with my son. He’s also six and lost his dad in September. My son didn’t have a real relationship with his dad, he knew him, but not as his dad. So telling him that he passed, wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I hope someone here can offer helpful advice. Sorry about your loss
Oh wow!!! I’m so sorry. I wish I had some advice to give you. I’m sorry you and your son are dealing with this. You and he are in my prayers.
Idk if you believe in this but maybe explain how good heaven is (in your words) and then tell him that’s where his dad is.
I don’t have any advice for you but I didn’t want to scroll without saying I’m terribly sorry much love to you both. My son is ten and I can’t even imagine having to tell him that good luck to you
I don’t have any advice pertaining to telling him, but I will say whatever you do, DO NOT LIE TO HIM, And be there for him as much and humanly possible I lost mine when I was 11 and needless to say the 2 recommendations I gave you were 2 things that in my personal opinion would have helped me out a lot
Don’t put it off any further.
Pick him up from school, take him to a private and safe place. Bring in other family. Hold him tight as you tell him.
Good luck and sorry for the loss of your little man’s daddy.
Also, arrange an appointment with a social worker/grief counselling if possible.
This group can support you in finding resources to help your son in the long term sorry for your loss.
Call the school counselor for advice. I’m sorry.
My three kids father passed away on Christmas few months ago.
I would get him in to counseling and have them help tell him.
My girls lost their daddy to testicular cancer when they were 5 and 7. That time is kind of a blur and I panicked of ever having to face that during his battle. But when the time came, I sat on the floor and I held them and the right words came. There’s no way to plan this kind of conversation. Trust in yourself that come time to do it, you’ll know what to say. I’m thinking of you and your son
Just be honest. There are tons of books that explain death to children, I’d ask his guidance counselor at school which one they would recommend. Good luck girl, my heart goes out to you
I would just tell him that he’s gone to heaven with all of your other family and friends that have passed away. I’m very sorry for your loss
I found books… They have a few on Amazon that were great
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. The closest I have ever come to a situation like this was when I had to tell my best friends daughter, she was 6, that her mama died(cancer). I think it’s best to be honest but explain it so he understands. The only thing you can do is console him and love him extra
I’m so sorry. Unfortunately you just have to tell it like it is, comfort him and be there for each other as I’m sure youre also grieving.
It’s hard to do I had to have that conversation with my three year old at 6 year old a few years ago it’s not easy at all. I’m sorry you have to your son that kind of newa
When my dad passed away I had to tell my sons that their Papa couldn’t be with us physically anymore. My whole family and I sat them down and explained slowly what happened. It is good for them to be with anyone whom they associate with the departed so that they know that everyone else is ok and dealing with it too and that they have all of those people for support. It may well be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, but you will be surprised at the amount of understanding and love our young ones have. I’m so sorry for you and your son’s loss.
I had to tell my little boy a few weeks ago his sister on his dads side had passed away😩I told him at school so he was focused on what I was telling him and asked if he had any questions. I told him she wasn’t in pain anymore and she had gone to live in the sky and that she had passed away & wouldn’t be here anymore. It didn’t sink in straight away but now he understands he’s 6 in a few weeks. He didn’t go to the funeral but did to the wake which really helped with understanding what was happening. He’s just started his first counselling play session this week xx we also got a teddy with a T-shirt with there picture on which he carries everywhere x after I told him we had a picnic and celebrated her life and made dens together at home x
I cant imagine. Im sorry. I hope someone can help you
This is never an easy conversation to have with your children, being there for them no matter what means a lot to them, and just know, your not alone, my thoughts and prayers go out to you in this difficult time mama!
I lost my dad when I was seven. There isn’t really a “right” way to do it. Sit him down and talk to him. Just tell him.
Go to a grief counselor first.
My kids dad passed last year, my kiddos were 9, 11 and 13. I just told them straight out, my husband helped also. And then surrounded them with love and hugs and we went to visit their family on their dads side. It was the hardest thing aside from losing my mom last month. Seeing my kids in that kind of pain was traumatic, but I somehow held myself together for them. I’m so sorry you have to go thru this, we think our kids will have their parents their while life. It’s so unfair when they lose their parent so young
Does your church have a Chidren"'s Minister who could be there with you when you explain the accident.
I’m So sorry… I Wouldn’t Have a clue what to Say To him I Just Didnt Want to Read and go past the Post. My son is 7 I cant Even Imagine Having to Explain That to him Really feel for you. Sending you both Hugs.
I Would probably be Honest with him
Just do it don’t bring in any counseling you and him and you talk hold him let him process and counseling later this is a freight train and I am so very sorry for your boy
My brother-in-law passed away when his so was little. The funeral home gave him a little coloring book that helped with the process of explaining death to a child.
So sorry for you and your son loss just tell him the truth, cry with him, hug him, just remember the good times your son had with him, sending hugs your way.
I lost my mother at 11. My father had to tell me. My best advice is just be honest and be there for him. He is going to be mad and sad for a while. Just love him through it.
My daughters father died when she was 6 as well. She knew things were not looking good after his accident so it wasn’t a super big shock but what we did was his family and mine all sat down with her and explained that his body wasn’t able to heal from his accident and that he died. Use definitive words that cannot be misconstrued. Imo the hardest part wasn’t telling her but helping her deal with it afterwards. Make sure you let his school and teachers know what is going on so they can have him talking to the counselor and can let you know if anything else is happening at school. Also know that you are going to have to be more involved in the funeral planning than you may want to be because you are your sons guardian and he is his next of kin. The law atleast in my state was that I had to sign off on everything because my daughter wasn’t of age to make those decisions. That was a surprise to me as we weren’t together for a few years at the time of his death. Also if you ever need to talk feel free to message me! His death brought up all sorts of emotions I didn’t think I would have. Some I still struggle with.
My son lost a very important person in his life this past year. He spent time with her almost ever day. He is 3. We told him the truth. We told him mawmaw Brena died and that he wouldn’t see her anymore. Then when he asked why she had to die. I told him when God puts us on Earth he gives us a list of things were supposed to accomplish and peoples lives were supposed to touch. And once we’re done with our lost he calls us home to celebrate. And that mawmaw Brenda finished her list so God called her home. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I couldn’t imagine having to tell my kids that their father wouldn’t be back home and would never see them again I’m so sorry you’re in this predicament
My daughter lost her dad a month ago. It was the hardest thing I had to do was to tell her that her dad passed away. I didn’t know if I was saying the right things or not. If she would hate me for me being the one telling her. After telling her I just sat on her bed and cried with her. It’s never easy telling a child that a parent passed away.
I am so sorry for y’alls loss❤️
be kind direct and factual. I would choose not to elaborate your feelings or thoughts and allow him to experience his own process.
when my sons father passed almost 2 years ago, my son was 12 then…i told him when we were with 3 sets of his aunts and uncles so he knew he had a good support system, he took it bad, my son seen his father maybe a total of 6 times in 12 years (father was an addict) i told my son how his father died, OD’ed and comforted him as bestas we could. He is good today, but once in a great great while will say he misses his dad.
We had to done this to my littles sisters when my dad died to suicide they were only 5 & 3 we just said daddy had passed away and was now up in the sky with the stars where grandma is looking after her . Sorry for your loss x
My son was 6 when his father died under terrible circumstances. I did not give him all the details cuz he was way to young. I just sit him down and told him that his father went to Heaven (I hope he went to heaven) to be one of God’s Angels.
Lots of prayers❣️The truth is the best way
It’s never easy when it’s comes to something to sad. Sit down with him and break it to gently. He will be upset for a long time. But be there and hug him and cuddle him what ever he needs or wants. If you got a lot of pictures of him and his dad make a scrap book for him so when he feels sad he can take the book out and look at the pictures. If you have any clothing belonged to his dad you can get a quilt made, that what I did after my mom passed I took her jeans and got one made so I would always have her with me
I’m so sorry its one of the hardest things to do. We lost my little brother in December and had to tell his 7 yr old that he didn’t survive an accident. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
Shit im sorry condolences even if was your ex. You just gotta tell the kid and explain the concept of death and greif. He will be way more angry and heartbroken if he can’t just go see his dad or feel unloved If you just told him he went far away and later learns his dad died.
My daughters dad passed away when she was 5. Please PM me if you’d like. I know how heartbreaking this is.
I am so sorry for your loss. I have been through this I lost my husband 5 yrs ago on Feb 26 2015 my kids were 5,6,8,14 I just sat them down and told them the truth there is no easy way or right way to do it, the pain that they went through and are still going through is the hardest part as I myself have to grieve and try to stay strong for them, what helped us was grief counseling and I’m not sure if it’s an option for you but my kids have attended grief camp every yr since he passed that honestly was a big life saver for them I highly recommend it.
My daughter who just turned 4 lost her aunt this past December. We were honest and told her. They were so close and spent time together almost daily, she had a really good cry and we told her that she was and heaven and would always be watching down on her(we don’t go to church or religious at all but this gives comfort to a child) My daughter brings her up about once a week and will just randomly say I’m so sad and miss sissy, but she’s in heaven and can’t leave to come play. They comprehend more than you think. But if I were you, you should definitely tell him and soon since it is his dad. I love being completely honest with my kids. I’m really sorry for your guys loss. I couldn’t imagine being in that situation.
If you’re religious the heaven talk seems to go a little better. For kids the idea of no pain, no suffering and everything you’ve ever needed would be in heaven always helped me when I was small and family members passed away.
My kids lost their father years ago. Him and our son were very close. Our son took it hard but I gave him a special picture of his dad to help him through it. Always be a listening ear and ready to talk. Let him know that he can talk to you about him anytime he wants and have pictures ready of you have them. The kids still feel the pain, but pictures and knowing hecan talk to you will help alot. Hope this helps and so sorry for what y’all are going through
I told my daughter that God took him because he missed him so much.
Both my daughters lost their fathers, my kids were 7 and 10 when it happened. You’ve gotta be honest and tell him:broken_heart:. I’d also recommend counseling and group grief , it helps. Sending hugs and prayers xoxo .
6 year olds understand a lot more than we give them credit for…I would just sit him down, and tell him in terms he will understand. Its going to be hard, cry together, hold him, let him be angry and sad. He may have many questions. Maybe involve some other family to let him feel like he is supported.
I’m heart goes out to you and your son during this difficult time.
Yes my son last his dad almost 10 months ago n he is 5 n it is a struggle if u wanna message me u are more then welcome to
Do it on an age appropriate level. He doesn’t need details.
Though I have never had to have the conversation with my daughter about her father passing, I did have to find a way to tell her that her brother had passed as well as another family member that we were very close to (my daughter was 8 at the time and my son passed at the age of 4 and our cousin at 19). There was no easy way to do it, but I found that the way that worked for us at the time was to tell her that they were with the angels and would forever be looking over us, even though we could no longer see them. She is now 16 and struggles with it still, as I do, but she has found strength in knowing that they are still with us in some way. My condolences, and many prayers for you and your son during this difficult time.
I have no advice but just want to send some love to you and your son
My son last his dad at the beginning of this month. He’s turning 5 next week. I just sat him down and told him his father was sick and went to heaven. He was sad for a few minutes but then forgot about it. He will bring it up randomly and say he misses him and wants to see him; he just doesn’t understand very well right now.
I had the same situation with my girls. I was told tell them the truth. I did of course it was hard but they knew from day one and we dealt with their grief through therapy and lots of love from our family.
I am so so sorry Mama. It is never easy telling a child a loved one died, even if he didn’t get to be with him everyday.
My cousin kids have different fathers and One in which was there for her daughter and her sons father wasn’t present very much. I do believe her son took it the worst of all because he felt a sense of guilt because he didn’t get to spend much time with his dad. He is much older and was 15 when his dad died. Her daughter was 5 when her dad died and she just loved her kiddos extra, hugged and showed pictures of the good times they had and that’s what worked for her. Went to the first place they had their dates and wedding. Etc.
It will just depend on your son. It is never an easy process and broke her quite a bit to have to tell her kids the news. You do what you feel will help your baby heal. Afterall, you know him more than anyone. Don’t be afraid to ask for people to be there to help you either if that’s what you need. I seen a lot of helpful tips here too!
Sending my love to you all in this difficult time.
My best friend lost her husband the same way, she had to tell her 3 year old daughter that daddy wasn’t coming home because he died. It’s not going to be easy in any way, just be honest with him.
Contact “The Caring Place” downtown. It is a brief counseling center for children and can give you advice.
My daughter’s father died when she was little and I bought a book explaining about heaven and death. It was a children’s book and it was from books a million.
I am 56 yrs old.My mom died when I was 7.My dad sat us down and told us the truth.I wasn’t sure what he meant but I knew I wouldn’t see my mom again.It will still hurt him no matter how u tell him and he will wish he had his dad but I’m glad he told us straight up.Did it leave a few scars hell yes.But the truth is always better then a lie.
Ditch down and watch the lion king movie. After mufasa dies. Pause it and explained that his dad died
I used the book “The Invisible String” when my daughter’s father committed suicide.
Contact his pediatrician for advice. They may have some local resources to help now and in the future.
I wouldn’t tell him he died . I would for now say explain the situation but instead use heaven or passed away … but avoid the word died I guess ? I would … since he is small . I’m sorry for this I hope you and your family are ok rip to him
My grandma passed last year, my kiddos 4 and 5 were extremely close with her. I explained as follows "Nana was super sick, and had a sickness called a stroke, sadly that storke took her up to heaven with God " my 5 year old goes so shes in heaven eith doctor God, cuz our doctors here on land couldn’t take care of her "i was thats kinda how it is* she started crying and realized what happend. My 4 year old didn’t really understand. But they do know when someone passes away they go to heaven! So sorry for your little ones loss mama! Hug them extra tight, and try to be as honest as possible. Yes it will hurt, but they will come around
This is a difficult situation. But please don’t put it off. He knows something is wrong. Your demeanor is different even if you don’t realize it. He feels “off”. He can develop anxiety issues over this. Every time things seem different he’ll feel like a bomb is about go off that’ll wreck his world. Just sit him down & tell him.
If he is in school have the school counselor talk to him. This was a big help for my son, when I didn’t know to explain death to him.
Never been through anything like this…but my heart goes out to you and your son!
Heaven,. Looking down on him. Make sure he has pictures of his dad in his room, so he can see him.
It will be very hard but just tell him daddy was in a accident and he is in heaven and won’t be seeing him anymore. But that he is always in his heart! Also let him go to the funeral if you don’t he will be very angry with you when he gets older.
When my daughter lost her grandfather, we told her that he went to live in heaven with her kitty cat. She understood that he died, and she still talks about him and misses him after almost 5 years. She was 2 when he passed.
You have to tell him in a gentle but real way. I believe Sesame Street has books on helping kids grieve. I think the book is a available only online. So sorry for your loss.
I think honesty would work best, answer any question he may ask, to the best of ur knowledge.
My son was 5 when my dad,his papi passed away but somehow he knew what it meant ! It’s never gonna be easy but explain what death and heaven is
My son was 6 & my daughter was 4 when they lost their dad in a car accident, I also had a 10 month old. I told them the truth but as gentle as I could. He was in an accident, he’s in heaven & we won’t be able to see him anymore. …They didn’t understand at first. I remember them smiling like …what??..eventually once it set in there were lots of emotions. They have grief counseling for kids which is always a good thing since they can’t always express what they’re feeling.
I’m so sorry honey. Sending prayers.
I went through this 5 years ago with my son he was 7 his dad died of aneurysm it’s one of the hardest and most heartbreaking things you will ever do as a parent I was open and honest with my son as he deserved that I also told my son that we can still celebrate his birthday and Father’s Day and that his dad is now a star and will be watching over him every night we quite often will go outside and just look up at the sky I wasn’t with my sons dad and we weren’t on good times but I swallowed that for my son as I know what it’s like to loose a parent young my dad was killed by a drunk driver when I was 13 you’re child will hurt for a long tome but just let them know you are there anytime and nothing they can say or think is silly sorry for your sons loss
Im balling im so sorry for your and his loss and to everyone on this pot whos been throught this
My mom died when my daughter was 2, I told her that gamma flew away to watch over her. She tells me all the time she sees gamma flying in the sky. All the time. It’s been a year and a half now and sometimes she cries and tells me she wants her gamma back so I’ve explained that it doesn’t work that way, but I’m sure gamma is giving you big invisible hugs right now and she loves you so much. I’m wondering how this will help her to remember my mom. I don’t know if my experience helps for your situation but for me, it helps
If you believe in heaven and what not tell him he went to live up there. I remember when I was little my dad’s grandma passed and I was told she went to sleep forever and is living her best life up there.
My daughters daddy passed away from brain cancer July 2019 and she was 4 at that time. She knew what was happening because of how sick he was but telling her was still was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I explained that he went to heaven and isn’t hurting any longer. You can message me anytime!
Hugs momma. I’ve been there. This is one of the hardest things ever to tell your child. Just be honest with him. Hugs for both of you.
Never been through anything like this but I personally would sit him down and explain that daddy’s not with us on Earth any more but is still watching from heaven
My mother passed away in January my son 7 was so so close to her she was a 2nd mother to him, when she passed suddenly I just told him the truth that she was sick and she didn’t get better and is now in heaven, he was very upset but he understood, at the funeral home I brought him in an 2 hours before people started to arrive just so he can have some alone time and says his good bye he didn’t want to stay, he went next day to the church and burial and it helped hi so much to understand, at night before bed he talks to granny or his 2nd mom as he likes to call her and tell her about his day, it will be tough on him but he will be ok and make sure he knows it’s ok to cry and to see other people cry so he doesn’t bottle it up.
Its gonna be hard. When I told mybthen 7 yr old son that dad passed he was a wreck. All you can do is be there for him and hold him and let him cry for as king ad he needs to.
Sit him down explain to him that his daddy was in a accident and he went to heaven and is protecting him from up there. I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through. It’s going to be hard to tell him. There is never going to be the exact right moment or words to say it. He’s going to cry if he’s close with him. You’ve got to be there for him and give him all the love you can even if he refuses sometimes.
When my son was 9 his dad died very unexpectedly from heart failure. I called his behaviorist before I told him and she said to make sure you’re honest about it, don’t say things like daddy went to heaven but that daddy died. I put him on my lap that night and told him I had something very serious to tell him about his dad and he knew right off the bat it was bad. I told him that he got sick and that his heart failed him and held him tight and we cried together.
Mine was a few months short of two when his bio dad died I didn’t say anything to him as he was too young. I did take him to the funeral but he was still a baby when he died that he didn’t realize any different. He is now 4 and talks about daddy ‘flying’ in the sky. I haven’t still to this day talked about the death of his father neither has anyone else. I am waiting until he’s old enough to understand. Obviously yours is a little older so it’ll be harder. So sorry mama
Honesty is the best way and to explain in age appropriate information but don’t lie whatever you say. So sorry for your loss and may God guide you with the situation at had. Give him lots of love and space to absorb the info. God Bless all.
Honesty and lots of hugs. I’m so sorry for your loss
Awe I’m sorry for you.
My daughter was 6 when her dad passed. He was a drug addict and heavy alcoholic. I thought of every way to hide it from her… Finally I sat her down and told her you know how Mamaw was sick and went to be with the Angel’s? Well daddy got sick and went to see the Angel’s too. He actually jumped in front of a train in front of me. I lied. A month later she looked me dead in my eyes and asked what happened. When she told me the kids at her school told her he killed himself, I broke down. I told her the very basics. She was more hurt I lied.
I’ve been through it except he was sick. He was also back and forth with seeing my daughter and it had been a few weeks since she had seen him when he passed.
I ultimately had to tell her because of the funeral. I just explained to her that he was so sick that God decided to bring him to heaven where he can feel better. We’ve had our moments with her emotions at times but I allow her to feel them and express herself…I did notice after he passed she began clinging to me more than usual. I also put her in therapy
Example; ‘Hey son, I have something sad to tell you about. Can we sit down.’ ‘Yesterday (or however long it’s been) there was a bad car accident and you dad/father was in the accident. I’m sad to tell you that you dad/father past away/died’.
As an example. You don’t have to tell him this way but, it provides him with what happen to cause the accident and that he’s dad past away/died.