My son's girlfriend has an issue with everything my wife does: Advice?

My daughter is real picky too. I have learned to just give her gift certificates etc. It does hurt your feelings if you let it. Don’t! It’s not worth it!

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What? Your the husband aka grandpa to be I’m assuming??? Choppy reading.

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A gift is a gift. You do not have to ask anyone whay to buy for them. You can ask whay do you still need but In the end you decide what to buy for someone you love. Frankly she seems spoiled and should be grateful she has support during these times.

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I don’t think she’s being disrespectful and you playing the victim saying she has an issue with EVERYTHING your wife does is probably the problem. It’s okay not to like things… at least she is being honest with you so you won’t waste money on things they won’t use

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This is too hard to understand?

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Sometimes no matter what u do u r not going to satisfy some people…

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Shes pregnant. Hormones get the best of us even when its ridiculous lol. My 1st pregnancy i got angry every time i saw another pregnant woman :person_facepalming::person_facepalming::joy::joy: makes no sense i know lol but at the time it felt so right to feel that way!!! Thats my guess. Wait until the baby is here!

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I would stop buying gifts. If they’re for your grand baby, keep them at your house so when he comes to visit he can play and use what you have. Tell the girlfriend you don’t need her stuff.

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Shouldn’t she be grateful?

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Let that snooty bitch buy things for herself. Ungrateful ass people :roll_eyes:

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Was your wife asked to purchase the shirts? If not she was overstepping. Your son’s wife most likely planned every detail of her gender reveal. Then your wife just jumps & chooses to detail her plans. I think most people would’ve been upset about that. As for the gift your son’s wife already was upset with your wife. That & pregnancy hormones probably tainted her perspective. I’m the future your wife can ask if there’s anything needed. But she shouldn’t be interfering with events. Let your son & his wife have their moments. FYI don’t let her buy the baby’s going home outfit. That’s to s big deal & his mother’s choice. Just like what they wear to their party.

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Don’t worry about it and don’t lift a finger to help again

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I think maybe you should all sit down and try and see if there’s an issue? No matter how she felt she didn’t need to be so rude, she could have juts fake liked it or been a little less rude and a little more greatful x I personally would be bothered by that, tell your wife to save her money next time and just look after her son and grand babies if she doesn’t want to be at least nice to her x

I mean… this is what registries are for…

Dont buy shit else for ungrateful,disrespectful and selfish people PERIOD

Yall are answering like this makes sense ur mom ur son ur sons son your wife ur sons wife I don’t get it lmao

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This is just downright ungrateful! If it’s not to her liking that’s ok but show some appreciation for the effort made!

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People should accept gifts graciously

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I think you and wife should have a think about whether you and her are overstepping boundaries. What kind of gifts are you buying? Are they typically things that maybe the mother and the father would have a preference and might want to get themselves? I think in the excitement of wanting to buy things for your new grandchild you might not be as sensitive to your daughter in law’s feelings as you are to your wife’s.
In regards to the shirts I know your wife meant well but in the process she’s excluded the mother of the child by only getting something for your son and grandchild. Sometimes we don’t intend to hurt someone’s feelings but we do. If she’s asked you to stop buying gifts I would. Spend time together, offer to help or spend time together as a family but ultimately maybe leave the gift giving to a minimum… especially if it’s upsetting a pregnant woman who’s not fully in control of her feelings right now.

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Sit down and talk like adults and resolve the issue, soon to be mom may have had something else planned on what their shirts would say or the color etc… I never did a gender reveal either way soon to be mom should’ve been a little more grateful and just say thank you even if she didn’t like it it’s the thought that counts. Otherwise don’t waste your money just be supportive

I’m not married to my bf n pro never will be but I would never tell any of his family members I didn’t like a gift they spent their own time and money to get when they literally didn’t even have to do it…seriously what is wrong with people these days? What did the matching t-shirts say? Was it somehow offensive to her? That would be the only rational reason in my opinion to tell her she doesn’t like it.

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Most of these comments show how messed up things are. If someone gives you a gift, you say thank you. Even my 7 year old knows this. No they didn’t need to wear the shirts but say thank you and have the boys take a picture in the shirts together. call it a day.

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What? Your son’s wife? Yours son’s girlfriend? Then all of a sudden at the end you bring up your mom? This post is very confusing

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tell the wife to stop being a stuck up bitch and pull the carrot out from her ass!! I’ve had 3 children and if I didn’t like something I was brought for them I would simply keep it because it’s seriously not worth being a stuck up bitch for

At that point I’d stop buying or giving anything. Some people are just ungrateful and I would’ve said thank you and I love it w a smile on my face cause that’s what you’re supposed to do when someone chooses to be kind and get you soemthing

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Unthankfulness dont buy her anything again
Sounds like she thinks shes ENTITLED to whatever she wants…
Well then let her buy it all.

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Halo just remember that it is your son and his wife’s child- maybe the first one.
The excitement may be to big for her to handle.
Yes she Could’ve handle it better and there is noe excuse for it.
But maybe she feels that youre wife is overstepping boudaries, maybe she feels that she isin’t considering in the family with only buying matching outfits for the son and baby! Maybe she is feeling left out.
Me for instance felt like that with my mother in law who put photos on the family group of just her boys.I mean ? We are in this together?
So maybe your wife could’ve sat with her and have a heart to heart and ask her what she liked, taste differs.
And maybe she didn’t wanted to sound rude but she felt that she need’ed to be honest for instance-she knew she would’nt have put it on or use it so she was just trying to stop further dissapointment in the future.If she didn’t say how she felt and your wife did’t know and bought something similar to the one she has and it was never used, how do you think your wife would’ve felt? Does she want a daughter in law who lying or a daughter in law who tells the truth?

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Tell her that when she’s ready to stop being an ungrateful little b**** then she’ll get presents, but until then she can buy things herself.

Seriously. Talk about lacking manners. I’d also have a nice talk with your son about how he’s being a little d****y too and he needs to talk to his misses about being nicer to his mother.

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They sound like spoiled unappreciative brats. I wouldn’t buy them anything until learn some manners. Its not your job to buy them anything, your doing it out of the kindness. I’m so sorry for you and your wife.

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How very disrespectful your son and his soon to be are being.
they need to stop acting like entitled brats…
In my day we said thank you even if we didn’t like the gifts it’s called being grateful that someone went out the way and thought enough of you to buy you a gift :woman_facepalming:
As for the shirts they could have said thanks mum these are lovely however we have our outfits picked for the baby shower so we will just wear them another time.

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Id be grateful… she’s trying. What an ingrate. And her son needs to open his mouth because his wife is an ass.

The son should tell the girlfriend to chill and respect his mother

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Probably because it sounds like your wife is leaving the her sons wife out of a very important desicion why not get her a matching outfit as well. Im not saying your wife is wrong but that I can understand how the sons wife might misinterpret eagerness as trying to exclude her from important desicions. A conversation with open hearts. Guaranteed this is not I tenting and if you sat down and tried to incorporate her into the relationship you guys have with your son more obviously and recognise her permanent commitment is to your family as much as her commitment to your son she would feel more secure about openly excepting gifts. That’s not to say you haven’t tried in your own way to do that already but just that.maybe she hasnt seen it that way and atleast a conversation is needed to address it. Goodluck. This is how I feel insecure.in my own inlaw relationship although I see effort I dont see any inclusion or exceptance of my right to be included . As baby mumma, committed girlfriend, someone who can see the beautiful wonderful person you created and loves them alongside you.

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Has she always been like this? If not then I have to ask is your sons gf’s mom in her life and if so does she play an active role? I ask bc if she’s not alive or if she is but doesn’t act like she wants to be around - your sons gf could just be resentful of your wife bc she is around and does want to be active in their life. It’s hard having someone else’s mom step in when your own mom isn’t there or downright chooses not to be if she is physically able to be. Plus hormones. I say if she hasn’t been like this always take a look at the mother perspective. Either way if you don’t want to lose your son and grandchild then take a step back and you just have to let them come around.

I think your wife’s a dick tbh x

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She sounds like an ungrateful b****

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How rude to let someone know you don’t like it. She should.smile and keep her mouth quiet.

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Sounds like we’re only hearing one side of the story :upside_down_face:

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tell your wife to stop trying to please her and to become indifferent some people are just too hard to help :frowning:

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I would never, never disrespect my mother in law, like ever? When you love someone we love all parts and as I said, well.now you’re my mother I n law so I love you to haha. Please tell your wife to continue doing things. Do you know how many crwappy gifts I got haha, I said omg thank you and put it in the basement lol. Maybe you’re daughter in law will come around

She sounds like a pain in the arse. Just get her gift vouchers.

Disrespectful and ungrateful but depends what the gift is, this is their family day much like their wedding and maybe she wants to choose everything herself. Was she asked to buy these things?

Not that I’m justifying her actions but I wonder what the gift was, anybody else? Lol :joy:

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If your wife wants to get something for them get it but tell her to leave the receipt in the box/bag with the gift so if it’s not liked it can be returned for something that’ll get used/is liked. It doesn’t really sound like the prego gf/wife is being mean on purpose just that she’s stating she doesn’t like something and if the father son shirts aren’t liked by her that doesn’t mean your son&grandson won’t like them and can’t use them, my husband had clothes I don’t personally like but he does so does our son :woman_shrugging:t4: they gotta use it / wear it not me

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Son’s wife sounds very blunt and forward, something your wife is not used to. My advice, unless your son stands up to his wife on his own there is nothing that you can do so try to keep the peace because usually in a feuding mother in law vs daughter in law situation, the wife always wins. The one common denominator is your son. I can almost guarantee he is partially the source of the problem. My MIL did not like me and had a very harsh attitude towards me due to my husband and I having problems. She completely blamed me for her sons actions and he lied about
Our financial situation ( long story short he borrowed money from her without telling me because he is bad with money) I completely stopped trying. She lived out of state so I would never visit when she’d come to town. I at that point made my feelings clear to my husband that I would definitely not be going but he should take the kids. They’d go maybe once or twice during the whole time she’d visit. It wasn’t until 10 years later that I went to visit her that I saw all of my children’s pictures in picture frames. She’d paper print every picture I’d post and frame it. We visited several times that year, each time our relationship improved but she died within a year. The point of my story is that my husband was partly responsible for our feud and we missed out on a lot of good years together.

I’d stop buying her shit… Ungrateful assholes :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

Having 2 sons myself I can tell you that you are in a tough position. Women tend to want make sure they are more important than moms. Over the years I have learned to keep a smile on my face and cry at home.

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A gift is a gift, it dont matter if someone likes it or not. You absolutely do not have to ask if they will like it before buying it, just include a gift receipt that way if it’s something they dont want they can return it and get something else. Dont be offended if that happens, that’s kinda the purpose of a gift receipt.
I feel the daughter in law will never like anything the mother in law gets her anyway so my suggestion is just get her a damn gift card, it dont even have to be for a store she likes :wink: The daughter in law seems pretty disrespectful in my opinion. “You get what you get and dont throw a fit!”

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It’s pretty obvious that the girlfriend is socially awkward ( that’s work in itself to figure out why that is ) get to know her long enough and that will come to light . If you and your wife plan on being in their lives, just gracefully take a step back ( when the baby arrives and your babysitting in your home with the child buy and have special things that just stay in your home ) that should satisfy your and your wife’s desire to gift your grandchild :heart:I wish u all the best .

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Speak to your son. Don’t buy them anything. Sounds like the girlfriend is very insecure.

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Sounds like the girlfriend has issues and needs to get over them

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Unfortunately, I agree with the son’s wife. If you’re buying something specifically for someone or an event, you ask first. I don’t think its a matter of wife vs mother, unless there’s a history between them that wasn’t mentioned.

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Stop buying stuff for them! If she can’t be respectful and keep her rude comments to herself she doesn’t deserve your wife’s gifts. Me and my Mother in law don’t get along all the time or have the same taste in certain things but I would never disrespect her or tell her I wouldn’t except something she took the time out to buy for me or her grandchild. That is just rude and uncalled for.

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I’m on the opposite side. My in-laws don’t bother with me. I have NEVER done anything to them. On my Children’s birthdays they call my husband (while he’s at work) to wish the child happy birthday.

Damn near 20 years later IDC!!! I used to be hurt but now, HELL NO!!!

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Don’t buy them anything no gift cards nothing because it’s the thought that counts, would she tell a friend, or her parents something? If she would then she’s plain rude and she can do this all alone with no ones help, your son should stick up for you even if that’s his wife, I would never disrespect someone like that.

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When they don’t appreciate what you do , you need to stop doing it. I had the same problem with my Son and his wife. I buy for my grandchildren and they are very appreciative but I don’t buy for my son and his wife any longer. It has made both of us happier. I give them money when I want to and don’t worry about what they do with it. But it’s not all the time.

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Thought for a moment… but myself I would kindly remind her that not everything in life is catered to one’s likes and offer a gift card for future interests. But remind that thought that counts only mattes when the receiver is humble. Im straight forward with all of mine. I do not sugar coat and if crossing the line is what they chose…well hell have no fury like a mother…

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She sounds rude and ungrateful… wouldn’t buy her anything or go out of your way for her !!

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Sounds like the girlfriend is insecure and jealous of relationship between your son and wife.

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She’s just a girlfriend and if she’s that insecure of the mother the relationship will not last

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No matter what she does for them she won’t be satisfied or pleased

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My son would know better than to bring that type of fool around my house… cuz I wouldnt be keeping my mouth shut.

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Sounds like the girlfriend told the son she didn’t like it…(when are son was told)
Son should shut up sometimes. HE didnt have to let his mother know.
Not sure what it was.
Maybe it was something she doesnt like a “nursing bra” ?
So she told her boyfriend…
I get that
Matching shirts maybe she doesn’t like the Color …
People are very picky on their special days.
Just do gift cards…

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I’d ask her highness what her f#$%@ng problem is. Just me

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Don’t get anything for them. There are plenty of people out there that would be grateful for any gift don’t waste the time on anyone who is unappreciative.

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Step back and not be involved. He will take the soon to be wife’s side always…unfortunately

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For all those saying, its the thought that counts, thats BS. At least she was honest about it and didn’t just take it and throw in the back of the closet somewhere :roll_eyes: Yes. It was thoughtful, but would you rather her take it, then on that day wonder why they wasn’t wearing them? Come on now.

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Your wife should stop buying her things. Problem solved!

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Uhm. Leave your wife alone and tell your mom to keep within boundaries. Thats your wifes job

Stop being stuff for them! That’s what I would do!

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If someone gives you a gift you say thank you. The end. Especially if it’s mom.

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Stop buying for the girlfriend. If your son appreciates it for him self & his son then just stick to that, I would not be buying the girlfriend anything anymore. It’s really selfish of her to act that way.

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Stop buying shit and tell her to ass to start respecting and stop being disrespectful. No need for it!

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Don t buy anything else!! Period! Also you need to make your girlfriend/ wife how it makes you feel. Your mom deserves respect.

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Next time, cash or gift card

Pissing off a mother in law is not a very smart thing to do. That girl needs an attitude adjustment !

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Ok - so the gift - that was ungrateful but if she doesn’t like it or want the item- it sounds like at least she was honest
She could have just accepted it and said thank you
As for the shirts- people are very particular on what they wear especially for things like gender reveals that might have a theme or colors etc… when it comes to something you buy someone to wear to a particular event you should probably discuss it with them before hand
I’m sorry your wife had hurt feelings and I understand why she did but I think you’re going to have to learn how to deal with someone who acts differently
In the mean time I do agree with the other comments and wouldn’t waste my time or money buying them anything else

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Sounds like the wife/girlfriend needs to go fast she sounds like a bitch

She wouldn’t be welcome in my life as long as she acted like an entitled bitch… :woman_shrugging: And pray my son gets away from that disrespectful POS…

Whoop her ass. :woman_shrugging:t3:

Let her get her own dang stuff. Don’t do for ungrateful people.

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Fck her than. Sounds like an ungrateful btch

I wouldn’t bother buy them nothing.I had that same problem with a family member never took it in any bad way until one day my oldest daughter pointed out she was just being mean.I remember gave the daughter a dress she said "its beautiful but she can’t wear dress so short"the dress fit below the knee.The next day the younger daughter came over and my daughter pointed out that she had on a close fitting shorter dress thats when it hit me and I stop giving things to them.

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Your son needs to let his wife know who his mother is in his life. I understand she is the wife, but when did MOM get evicted? Your son needs to grow a pair then his need to to drop. Your son needs to do something. You have one mom in this life and it surely ain’t a wife!

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So at the baby shower: gift cards. Then on birthdays: gift cards. On holidays: gift cards. When she asks for something in specific: gift card. She’ll get the hint lol

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Ok so I can possibly see this from the girls point of view and she may seem ungrateful but has your wife possibly over stepped the mark or bought things they don’t want/need?
I’m like this with my MIL to be but I feel she oversteps a bit and my fiance agrees.
When I was pregnant she spent a fortune on a prep machine, we told her it wasn’t something we wanted and if she wanted to spend that money to buy something we would actually use. May have come across as ungrateful but we didn’t want her wasting money on something that would sit in a box.
She also told me she had ordered birthday cakes for my Children’s birthday, one of which would be my son’s first birthday. I felt hurt that she had taken over and made that decision when I felt it was something my partner and I should decide on as parents! We spoke to her and she got upset but she understood that it wasnt her place. Again we may have come across as ungrateful but your wife has had the chance to do all that kind of thing with her OWN children, let the new Mumma enjoy being able to do all these things for herself. Tell your Wife to ask in future if she can buy something, she might get a better response!

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She sounds like a twat waffle.

Sit down with her and talk to her about the gifts. Maybe see what her likes are? They need to bond a bit. The wife and MIL need to have more bonding time so they know the likes.

However if the wife acts like that I’d stop buying gifts and not bother!

I think its horrible to tell someone to ask me what I want, gifts are gifts, it the intent that matters. She sounds like a selfish, childish bitch and she is 100% wrong. Sorry you have to deal with this .

Just rude i was raise different i guess! i would never want to make someone feel like shit for what they gave for a present! i guess im just grateful for everything i got!

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First, I’m wondering if there’s a past hurt that is preventing her from accepting gifts. Did they always not get along or was there an argument or slight that preceded this behavior? Maybe from her point of view she is seeing it as pushy or overstepping. I know for my child’s big days like birthdays and christening etc I prefer to buy the outfit myself. For any other day I have no problem with family buying her stuff. I would try not to take it personally.

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Sounds like sons wife is a control freak, she wants to pick out the gifts. ( maybe the sons wife doesn’t think the mother in-law is spending enough money on the gifts) suggestion to mother in law, stop buying gifts and don’t give sons wife any money. Sons wife will find something to be unhappy about, don’t play her game.

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It sounds like a difficult situation but a woman not liking gifts is not disrespectful. It probably hurts, I hope your wife and daughter-in-law can talk it out and heal.

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If the girlfriend doesn’t want a party, then your wife should respect that. However, I think the girlfriend should be respectful in saying so. Unless your wife keeps pushing it. If they don’t want anything then don’t waste your money. HUGS! This stuff is so hard sometimes!!

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Just don’t bother buying them anything. Maybe money so they can pick for themselves if so inclined, but if she’s mean about it, I’d probably just stop trying.

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I WOULD pull the wife / girlfriend off to the side and point blank ask her WTH the problem is between her and I… Bc if she’s gonna be part of MY FAMILY we will get along even if it kills her

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That’s hard to say it sounds like ur wife and his wife might like different things or maybe his wife is just being picky or just doesn’t have the same taste maybe a gift card will do or just stop doing it all together I know she’s trying to be thoughtful but sometimes stoping what your doing can help a person learn how to appreciate things better…wit could also be hormones I know it sounds silly but moms to be act funny when expecting best advice I can give is either keep trying to make a connection (Ask what they like or want ect) or just stop all together because you don’t want to waste you time and she’s just gonna start feeling bad or left out and I don’t want your wife to feel that way also I would suggest talking to your son just to get an idea if it’s something that the girls can get past or what for future gatherings and such wouldn’t hurt hope this helps

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My sons know their wives better respect me or they will definitely hear from me…right now im biding my time with one but shits going to hit the fan soon!!!

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Stop buying them anything. Gift card if want to but that would hurt my feelings & I’d say the hell with it. Even if I didnt like a gift I wouldn’t say I don’t like it take it back wtf. Thats just not something I would do. Its the fact that matters, someone took time out to get u that gift how dare u act selfish & spoiled. Sorry my opinion.

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I would your so ungrateful. If you dont want any help from us thats fine but dont be calling us when you need help with the baby

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Guess she’ll just be happy with a heartfelt note then :woman_shrugging: buy gifts for the baby and keep them at your house for visits.

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