She’s an asshole, flat out. Manners skipped her. We’ve all been in a situation where someone gets something you don’t like and you smile and thank them. It’s common knowledge and it’s sad to see someone in the world being so shitty for no reason. Its important your son understands this and knows its hurting his mother and let him handle his family in the way he’d know will work best.
She’s only the girl friend, wait till she becomes the wife! 
She will put a wedge between mother and son. She does not seem to know what manners or being polite means. She sounds like a spoilt little girl.
Don’t give her anything
Be thankful what you get???
Give nothing but gift cards for $5. Some people have forgotten how to be grateful for gifts.
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Tell her to check herself, no way does she get to disrespect her mother in law that way. My brothers wife is like this, rude as.
Don’t buy them a dam thing
I wouldn’t buy anything else! Not a gift card, nothing! And, leave it at that.
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My mother-in-law has frequently bought things for my children that I haven’t been a fan of because I’m incredibly picky about clothes for my kids. Now that we’re over 3 years in to my having children, she’s figured out what I like and what I don’t like, but she still texts me pictures or asks me to send her links to things I like and will put on our children if she’s in the mood to buy or wants to get clothes for presents. Of course, I’ve been a little kinder in my wording, but if your son is delivering the message to you, he probably isn’t softening the blow the way she would in person. The relationship has to grow between the two of you and her as independent people before she will be comfortable telling you her real feelings. It took a long time with my in-laws, but, even after some HUGE bumps and an entire year of not speaking to each other, we get along REALLY well now. It’s all about finding the balance and what works for everyone.
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She should be grateful… sounds spoiled to me.
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Dont buy her nothing. Shes not appreciated.
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The mother should not be disrespected. If I talked to my mother in law like that my husband would have had my head on a stick. It sounds like a toxic situation that the mother and son needs to have a talk. Bringing the girlfriend/soon to be wife in on the conversation is not a good thing. Let the son handle his girlfriend after the mother son talk. For the talk dont hold anything back, Express you feelings and hurts. Allow him to express his as well. Then ask that he talks to his girlfriend about her cruel and snobby attitude.
Ouff sounds like the daughter in law is spoiled, unappreciative and jealous. No way should that be tolerated. The son should put his foot down and not
Allow his mother to be treated that way
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Tell the son to find a better girlfriend.
She’s being petty af! Son needs to clap his hands in her face to wake her to what she’s doing and how it makes everyone feel. Someone had to do it to me, I know my ex mil didn’t like me but I didn’t realize what a butt I was being either.
Okay your son is an ass for letting her talk to your mom like that. A gift is just that, a gift. Regardless of whether or not they like , she should’ve thanked your wife for it. Sounds like she needs to stop putting in all of the effort imo.
How about tell your wife to stop? Your son’s girlfriend doesn’t want it, clearly, and your wife continues to buy things. Both her and your son said to stop, so stop. You’re continuing to push and are not respecting that.
If they are not happy with your gift take it back and and give them nothing!
G
I would stop gifting. I would give cash or gift cards from now on. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE buying gifts much more than I like giving cash or something, but it’s a waste to get a gift that you know someone is gonna throw a fit about.
That being said, I usually accept things with a smile on my face, but I’ve gotten gifts I didn’t want before. If they have a registry, I’d get them something off of it instead of just buying whatever. But, they could’ve handled it in a much nicer way. I don’t know, I’m sort of on both sides of this. I understand where she’s coming from, but she doesn’t have to be rude about it
Now, we also don’t know the whole story. It is irritating for a person when they have someone who pushes a bunch of stuff they don’t want on them, and then gets offended when you don’t want it. If she doesn’t want it, she doesn’t want it. Don’t push, just step back and let her get what she wants. Maybe ask if there is anything she does want, but leave it at that
A gift should be chosen from the heart of the giver not the head of the givee… I understand not giving a pet to someone who is alergic or cant care for it or something that is not suitable… but if they are ungrateful… just don’t buy them presents… tell them since they don’t like what you pick for them you wont bother giving them gifts… save the money for the grandson he will need it for therapy
It’s a gift. Even if you don’t like it you be grateful, you say thankyou. And of its clothes you bloody wear them the next time you see that person and show gratitude. They obviously thought it would be something nice for you to have so let them.see you enjoy it. Never know you might love it if you give it a chance…
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Let her and your son buy their own stuff but if they ever ask you to babysit tell them you got plans then she if she be one appreciate of you.
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Cut out the parents they are selfish and ungrateful. When new babe arrives love it like they never will / can. Spoil the little one. Annoy the heck out of the parents.
Step back and let her make the next move no matter how hard that is. If she bad mouths u for not doing things in the future remind her with faculty and specifics of the efforts u tried to make. Then tell her that the next move is up to her. Balls in her court.
Sorry remind her with facts!
Just stop buying them stuff. I agree they should have been more respectful, but maybe the soon to be wife and mother of the soon to be grandkids already had clothes picked out for the gender reveal and didn’t want to feel obligated for them to wear something else.
I have never been given a gift I didn’t love because it warmed my heart so to have someone care enough for me to buy me a gift. I even loved the cobalt blue macaroni necklace my little daughter made for me years ago. I proudly wore it to work. Then I proceeded to wear a blue neck for about a week until I was finally able to get all the blue dye off my neck. Still warms my heart.
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I would stop giving them gifts but I would start a college fund for the grandchild.
I wouldn’t buy another thing
Make a savings account with your name and grand kids name.every birthday or holiday put money in it.fix it so they cant touch it.notifie them money is being put in this on birthday christmas.for him when he is 18.he can take it out for a car or somet h ing he wants.
We have one line this in are family and unfortunately it took a while but this person who was always tip toeing around the person put her foot down and now they won’t bother with her. It’s no loss but there’s. I would of loved for someone to be buying gifts for me and helping me out
Don’t buy her anything problem solved…EW
Stop buying for them
i went thru the same thing, so i just stop getting her a gift, shy should i , just because i bought it she didn,t want it, is all it was, i tried and tried to be good to her but she won,t hav it, so i give up. all i wanted to be is family
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This girl wasn’t taught to be gracious. She seems very self centered and unappreciative. If I had to get them anything it would be a generic gift card so they could get what they want. Problem solved.
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I have one like that…either don’t give her anything or give her what she really wants…money…nothing is ever good enough…
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Sounds like someone’s needs a quick reminded as to whom was there first and she needs to learn respect. I have a wonderful mother in law. No we haven’t always seen eye to eye. However, she knows I love her son and knows sometimes things needs to be worked out thats not her business. However, I have tried very very hard to not add unnecessary tension by nit picking. Not to say we haven’t had our disagreements. But coming from a family that didn’t give two hoots about special events such as this I guess id be really thankful she went out of the way… this will only get worse if said wife doesn’t either have a talk with daughter in law and explain where she is coming from because if she is this big of a pain in the ass wait till the kid comes. Then you probably won’t be allowed to see said child because you guys aren’t doing it to suit her.
The wife needs to grow the fuck up. Mom is being a mom. She is supporting and showing love. This husband needs to teach his wife to be more respectful towards his mother. You don’t need to like the gifts; just say thank you!
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Also, on a special day that you only get once, and that many photos will be taken, I would be very upset if my other in law tried to tell me how to dress my son on that day. It’s a nice sentiment, but MIL definitely should’ve asked first. Maybe they already bought special outfits for that day that were coordinating, or had custom shirts made.
I feel that the wife should be thankful for the gift and express her gratitude for the mom thinking of her. But mom also needs to understand that people do not always have the same taste/style. My mother in law has all kinds if things in her home that I would never have in mine. And wears clothes that I would never wear. And I’m sure she feels the same about my home and my clothing. And that’s okay. I’m lucky enough to have a mother in law who is observant and has learned my personality/taste/style over the last 4 years and now picks out things that she thinks I would enjoy rather than things she enjoys. It can be a hard dynamic and it may take time.
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I’ve been in this situation. My mother in law insisted on buying me things I didn’t like ( i.e red snake skin pants) one yr I politely asked her not to get me anything. She was very mad. It took many years for her to learn my preferences but I was never rude. I said thank You regardless of what she sends. To avoid the drama, have a conversation with your son. These two are fighting for Alpha female in his life. Maybe in the future they can shop together to avoid the drama.
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The gift was giving with love by the mom. Maybe the daughter in law is going end one being the ex daughter in law. I’m lucky i have a wonderful mother in law. Both must be kind and caring to each other.
She needs to sit down as a family and find out what’s the issue. It sounds like it’s a little deeper issue than the material things being given to them.
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That is very disrespectful. It is sad how so many people do not have any manners anymore. Good luck and blessings to you.
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Take the shirts back. Tell soon to be wife you’ll save them for the next wife and son for their gender reveal! She’ll learn not to be disrespectful next time.
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When did a gift stop being just a gift. Be grateful and get over it she is the one with the problem
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A girlfriend? Ha, rude. Just be yourself if you have to be around her. I would not acknowledge any rudeness but I would not buy her one thing.
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I wouldn’t ask her what she wants just accept what you buy for her she sounds like a spoilt brat
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Have a father son talk.
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Honestly, I was upset when I went to the trouble of making a registry when people would buy things I didn’t want or need with my first baby 
After that I chilled out.
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I would stop doing anything for her. The way these young people were raise is awful no respect an very selfish
Stand up for your wife to your Son. Don’t buy Ungrateful. Disrespectful people anything
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Next time don’t buy or do anything,sounds like she’s very picky! Just show up with a smile and your purse closed tight
Easy as don’t buy gifts , give money in card she can buy what she wants
First of all the girlfriend will never like a gift from the mother of her baby’s daddy. This is a flaw in that generation. I call them the entitled generation. These are the kids that got participation trophies.
Need too talk like adults. Cant have a bad relation between both of them lifes too short.
Wouldn’t buy or do anything else for her that is disrespect
I feel for you and your wife:sleepy:. Just give a gift card for their fave store… If you want to buy, ask for a list of several things and pick from that. Or listen out for hints in conversations… Don’t waste your money buying what you like or think she may/should like, its not for you… She could be gracious and just accept something she doesn’t like, to just shove in a cupboard or throw away, or, is she being honest and helpful, by telling you the truth and saving you money and stress…Your son is right, just ask… Everyone will be happy, after all, that is the real pleasure of gift giving 
What’s wrong with your son allowing her to disrespect his mom?
I wouldn’t buy her anything else. That’s just rude to say you don’t like a gift.
Don’t buy anything if they want it they can buy it them selves…
She will make life miserable for your son.
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Son needs to set her straight Now
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She sounds very ungrateful smh I wouldn’t buy anything else for them! Good luck with her you’ll need it 
Manners say show appreciation for the thought, dont be selfcentered and rude!
Step away. Give space. Let her approach you when she is ready.
Those ungrateful asses! They would be ENTIRELY on their own from this point on
Gift cards from now on
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She straight up sounds like an ungrateful spoiled brat…a gift is a gift the giftee should just be happy they got a gift
Tell her son to grow a pair and dump this girl
Don’t buy the ungrateful b. nothing else
i would tell the DIL to suck my ass and quit buying stuff for her.
You and you’re soon to be wife are assholes
You and your wife cuss her out
Stop buying things for them. they don’t seem to appreciate it. Just step back and if they need help let them ask but if u would like to buy something for the baby and leave it at your house. I hope all gets better for you especially before the baby comes.
Don’t get her anything
Just give them money
She sounds like a bitch
You say your wife is someone who “takes things to heart”… does this mean she gets upset when someone doesn’t agree with her or sets a boundary with her? It could be that the girlfriend is setting boundaries and they aren’t being respected. Is your wife is used to being able to use her hurt feelings to get her way? I would feel it quite presumptuous to have my husband and son given shirts to wear at my gender reveal without being consulted.
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Her son needs to sit his gf down and tell her to start showing appreciation and be grateful. I would be more hurt by my son not saying anything than the girls actual rude behavior. It’ll be sad when the baby is born and doesn’t have a warm loving environment. The gf needs to understand that yes she’s the mother but you need to respect the grandparents as well.
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Be more thankful. If you don’t like it that’s fine but don’t ruin what someone thought was a good gift. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accepted a gift I knew I wouldn’t use. It’s manners, respect. Don’t like the shirt? Wear it for bed or when you’re doing a project. Idk I guess I was raised differently.
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Without knowing both of them, it’s hard to tell. Some MILs are awesome, some are straight up evil and some are evil but pretend to be good. My MIL for instance acted like she was doing something nice by taking my son overnight so we could have a break when he was about a year old. In reality, she just wanted to cut his hair after I said he wasn’t getting his first haircut until 2. We weren’t 2 blocks when she texted me that she “cut a little off his bangs”. She cut them so short that the only option left was to buzz his whole head. She has never apologized and their whole family thinks it’s funny. My only reaction was a text about how disrespectful I found that and how she took my first kids first haircut away from me. They say I overreacted, I say she’s lucky I didn’t beat her ass. It’s been 6 years and I only get more pissed every time they laugh about how I “freaked out”, one of these days I might actually freak out, lol. They’re lucky I love my husband.
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So it seems to me everything that was “gifted” revolves around the new soon to be Grand-baby. Is this their first child? I see it mentioned there is an older child. Did the daughter in law ask for these things or were they gifts intended to be used or worn on the party day? It may be as simple as the daughter in law has a set a boundary that new grandma keeps crossing. If maybe this is the case, a conversation needs to be had by Grandma, her son, & the daughter in law and lay out where and what those boundaries are. If it’s a case of truly being ungrateful and a snot just to be spiteful then they would get the same amount of money on a visa giftcard for every gift I felt obligated to give. After all, most “gifts” aren’t asked for or expected.
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Sounds like y’all daughter in law a really bitch honestly I would just stop doing anything for them and I just tell your son that being his wife wanna act like that that y’all will step back and not do shit more and tell they can be grateful for what y’all give them they can fend for themselves
My mother in law was hit by a car while crossing a road by her home and after 3 months, she died. I was pregnant with my 3rd child and had just found out it was our first girl…she never got to meet her or spoil her rotten… Tell your wife she can buy me things and I will treasure them. And tell your son to defend his mom, for his wife forgets, she will be the MIL someday. 
Did they already have shirts they were planning to wear or have made for the gender reveal party? Do they feel like your wife is trying to use gifts against them? I feel like she should have been more thankful for a gift but could use more background info on the relationship.
IDK I think the girlfriend should be a little more gracious and thankful. It will only be better for the baby. Even if she doesn’t like something, she can just say “Oh Thank you!” accept the gift and move on. It’s worth more having a good relationship with a MIL than whatever it is the GF is trying to accomplish. I do agree Mom needs to be conscientious of the fact that for things like special events (gender reveal) GF almost Certainly has a plan for what everyone will wear etc. Mom should’ve maybe asked if she like the idea of matching shirts and then asked her what styles she likes. This could’ve been a bonding experience.
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I would think that the expecting parents would want to be in charge of how they want the gender reveal to go, as far as the matching shirts maybe she already had planned something. If she’s picky your wife should just pick up some gift cards and let her buy what she really wants
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Your wife’s heart is in the right place, but as Grandparents you need to pick your battles. Your son and his gf are about to have a baby and although any help you give them is appreciated, it is a personal and magical time for expecting mothers. The best thing to do is ask the gf what she envisions for her baby shower and your wife can go from there (if she’s still willing to help). Forcing a person to do or accept something he/she doesn’t want will only cause further tension. Loosen the reigns. Let your son and his gf plan things out on their own. You might be pleasantly surprised with the outcome.
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It’s possible that the wife also had something else in mind for them to wear/coordinate for the gender reveal, and to me insisting they wear exactly what you bought is kind of overstepping, especially if she hadn’t already talked about it with your wife ahead of time. It sounds like they have really different style/taste in clothing & gifts, and it’s coming across by DIL as being ungrateful where she could also just be feeling backed into a corner by being pushed to wear things she really doesn’t like. They need a heart to heart - I’m sure neither one is trying to be disrespectful to the other, but it sounds like both feel their boundaries are not being respected or understood.
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Don’t buy them anything . They are disrespectful . Also take them out of your will. Afterall it would be a gift . But give their share to the grandkids only . If they have no children give it to other children of yours . Of course you can give it to a charity. But never to the ungrateful couple . They don’t like anything . Treat you like a nobody . Don’t like what you give . Than nothing for them No jewelry . Absolutely nothing .Do be it …
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I have seen a lot of thought and planning go into gender reveal parties. Maybe she has a certain theme or ideas on how she wants to do it and feels like your wife is overstepping or trying to control things? Ask her what she needs or if there is anything you guys can get to help with the party. If she says no then respect that. Respect is a two way street. You have to give it to get it. And if she is carrying your grandchild you want to have a good relationship with her. If you follow some of the advice being given here you may end up getting cut out of their lives or not getting to see the new baby much. I would try to make peace.
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Idk to me this is a very simple solution… Why don’t you ask your son if there is an issue between his wife and his mother? Clearly there is…whether something happened, was said, or the wife is very controlling and possibly could have a reason to be. I like to look at it from all angles. Life is too short for guessing, grow a pair and communicate! If for whatever reason it can’t happen, that should speak volumes and back the hell off of their lives. It’s a tough one, but needed obviously. There’s more to this than being ungrateful. I say be there for the baby and gift card it all the way! Best of luck❣
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I’m afraid I wouldn’t be purchasing anything more. In fact, I’d open a bank account for the grandchild/grandchildren, and put the money I’d be spending on any gifts for them into the bank. Perhaps the grandies would appreciate extra money when they are the age where the surprise of a financial gift would bring great joy. Apart from my husband, no one else wouldn’t know about it…in the meantime, do the best that you can to keep a good relationship with your daughter-in -law, for your son’s and grandies sake. Your DIL is extremely rude and hurtful…Be the better people
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Let them get their own stuff if his wife wants to be ungrateful.
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Except gifts graciously always…dont have to use it…also wife is set boundaries already…push yr family out of babies life
She needs to get smacked and stay in her place and quit being so selfish. The mom is the mom . she wouldnt have her husband if it was for the mom . so she needs to get over herself
I understand that you guys want to still have your grandbaby in you’re lives, so you need to take a more tactical approach in this situation. Stop buying them things, and keep the peace. If they’re expecting something from you, a $10 gift card will do. When babys born, then buy stuff for baby to have at you’re house, and enjoy
Ok. So as far as the gift… you don’t ask first because its a freaking gift. You politely thank the person even if you don’t like it. For the shirts, I can see where the wife may have a certain idea in her mind if how she wants things to look etc. My suggestion as a mom who has had issues with getting along with my MIL (not for a gift lol) is that when there is an event or something coming up for your wife to say she’d love to help pull everything together and see if DIL opens up about ideas and let’s her help. If she doesn’t then she may just be ungrateful b 
Before offering help you could talk to your son and let him know so he helps encourage momma bear to include ppl
Sounds like you need to have a talk with your son, ask him if he really wants to marry such a spoiled disrespectful girl. Just remember girlfriend with baby today, wife tomorrow.