My sons grandparents are toxic and I am scared: Advice?

Make your fb private and maybe consider a restraining order. Records in alot of states are public, so I doubt he did a full background check and he probably just saw it in court records, especially if he was in jail. If he’s clean now, don’t worry about it.

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File a restraining order against them.

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In my state grandparents has no rights to there grandchildren I would check with a attorney good luck momma

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What he did should be illegal. The guys dad that is. Just because he is a cop, doesn’t give him the right to stalk you. In my opinion that’s what he is doing. You need to report him. He is not your father and he has no right looking into your life. Report him before he does something to you and your baby

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Depending on what state u are n Grand parents have no rights & even if I did decide to let them see him I’d make it supervised

They can’t do anything especially if your boyfriend has been out of trouble since then I would make sure you have sole custody just in case ex changes mind and get pfa on them and keep all text as they are harassing you and change phone number so they don’t have it but as of now just tell them straight out because of them harassing you they will not be allowed to have contact with your son

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Get a restraining order. They sound like they are harassing you

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Make a report that your ex’s parents are harassing you and that they are stalking you. And your scared for nothing you and your son. Cause if the creepy nature of how they are doing this. Tell this to your son’s doctor, his school, your doctor they way it’s well documented.

Next see about filing a restraining order.

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Restraining order. Where I am from, grandparents have no rights to the child (Arkansas). So therefore they can’t do anything. As long as you & your SO can piss clean & you can’t be proven unfit, you should be good to go. Also make sure that you have proof of the dad not coming around.

At this point you can most definitely get a restraining order because the way they’re going about things qualifies as harassing you. Block them on everything give them one chance not to contact you by saying if you contact me again I will contact the police and file charges for harassment. Make it very clear that you have no desire to speak to them and that they are not involved in your child life and will not be involved. When they inevitably contact you again file a restraining order and file harassment charges.

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Its illegal for aa cop to do backround searches on someone who isnt aa suspect. Get a. Lawyer:)

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Most states do not have grand parents rights. If they can not behave & respect you they do not need to be in your child’s life

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no one can take any child/children from you unless it is some sort of child services with a court order. But will say, until you have a temporary custody court order for your child, their dad can take them. So if that is the case, don’t let him take them. And go to court & get temporary custody of them until the divorce. And while you are there, let the judge & your lawyer about the grandparents. And I would also get a restraining order against them for their threats.

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Get a restraining order.

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You Can report his dad for using police resources even if he’s retired if you can prove a friend from the department did the check without cause. That would be a good way to start. Or go to the county over and explain the fact his dads an ex cop and explain you fear for yours and your kids safety. But document everything and take it all in. If you can prove the police department he worked for isn’t working in your best interest they will take percussions to keep you safe.

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That would be the point they wouldn’t see the kid anymore. They crossed a line. Make your Facebook private and block Thier numbers… and if they just text or call from different numbers I’d suggest a new number.

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They don’t have shit you have custody. You would have to be deamed a bed parent along with the fact it not that easy to get kids taken. Even if cps is called they come in look in fridge is he feed I’d House clean not a pig sty your fine. It’s way more of a hassle for them, when one goings into enough houses u know what u are looking at

First of all, as long as you are a good mother, have a clean safe home for your child, and take care of your child there is nothing for you to worry about and not a thing they can do.
Secondly, their ability to see your child is a privilege NOT a right! Tell them exactly that and that unless and until they start acting right and treating you right the only way they can see the kid is if they can meet you at the park or your home or wherever you feel comfortable to spend time with the kid while you supervise. Do not go out of your way to do this for them either. If they ever get ahold of your child and won’t give them back (which is kidnapping) then call the police. Even if the biological dad tried taking him right now it would be kidnapping because the kid lives with you and the father has essentially abandoned them.
If your kid goes to school or daycare, make sure it is well known that the dad and grandparents cannot pick him up. Tell everyone you know what is going- neighbors, friends, relatives, coworkers, etc.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope it gets better and everything works out :heart:

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They can’t do squat lol

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Save every text, email etc.

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Grandparents have no rights…in most states .

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File harassment charges or retraining order!!

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You can pull up people’s charges yourself. You do not need a cop. It’s public record. I pull everyone I meets record at some point. That being said, there isn’t anything they can do. They are just taking it out on you that their son is a p.o.s.

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Dont be scared
They are presumably also concerned about seeing their grandchild they are older and probably dont understand
Arrange to meet them and talk to them face to face calmly

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Police aren’t allowed to use their resources for personal benefit. Call and report him for it & file for a restraining order & harassment

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Relax. 10 yrs is an eternity in that regard. They don’t stand a chance if you’re a solid person.

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Yeah ignore them and if they continue to harass you…call the police.

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“I’ll take the child” is a common threat of NCP & grandparents. They’re trying to scare you.

It’s very difficult for a grandparent to get custody. They’d have to prove you unfit & terminate both your & your husband’s rights. Your bfs 10 year old crime is not going to work. They’re more likely to get your husband to ask for custody in the divorce. Make sure you keep any communication that he’s stated he doesn’t want anything to do with them. Keep track of any communication with him. Get a lawyer for the divorce. Make sure you put in the custody agreement that any visitation is with him, not his parents, a SO etc. I’d also put in it that your children are not allowed around his parents do to threats, emotional abuse & you feel they’ll turn the children against you. A lawyer can help with this. Do not go to court without a lawyer.

Cut off all contact with the grandparents. You are not obligated to have any contact with them. Block them on social media, your phone etc. Install cameras to catch them coming over without your consent. Clip all those videos & save them. File a harassment suit, restraining order if you need to.

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harrassment. log everything. get a tpo if necessary, and if u had enough to file one.

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Document every text you get from the grandparents, go get a restraining order against them, it’s none of your business who you date so long ass your child is safe

Restraining order here I come that’s my advice and make sure the school has it nobody pick him up or what the case my be but watch your child closely

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Block them from being able to contact you.

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They can’t. They are fucking with your head in an attempt to manipulate you. His charge means nothing. Block them and move on

Get a restraining order. It’ll protect your kid too. When, not if, they violate it, they get to go to jail. Stalking and harassment aren’t reasons to let a child see anyone.

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they cant only father can try to BLOCK THEM ASAP tell daycare ect that NO ONE EXCEPT YOU CAN PICK HIM UP

Find a family law attorney and make it legal that their crazy and you are done

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Block all contact with them… phone, social media, everywhere you can, and go live in peace. They have no legal rights to your children so they can’t take them.

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They have no legal right to visitation, and if they take it to court, show them the toxic relationship they have with you and the damage they would do to try and get the children taken from you.

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You need to file for harrassment and a restraining order

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They can’t take your child from you.
Document your conversations, texts, emails, and interactions in a little notebook and then charge them with harassment.

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They can’t do much honestly.
If they are harassing you, you can try and file a report for harassment but I wouldn’t do it in the county where he works.
Grandparents don’t have a lot of rights unless there kid/the child’s parent is dead. They’d really have to prove you unfit if they wanted custody.

Keep all text message everything they are saying to you

Let your son see his grandparents. You say they are toxic but don’t give any examples of it. The more you resist the more they will fight you let go let him visit its his family too.

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They cant just take your child
Get an immediate restraining order/no contact order
You unfortunately need to learn to control the conversation if they bring up their feelings shut them down (if you do consider working with them I mean) simply say I’m not up to discussing that, or that’s not what this convo is about.

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Block all contact and save any proof of harassment, get a personal protection order for harassment if they continue. Cut ALL ties. Block on every media and change your number.

First things first, relax. Let them waste their money and their time. Unless they can prove you to be an unfit mother, there isn’t anything that a court will do. If you haven’t yet, make sure your number one priority is to establish custody. Since dad isn’t and doesn’t want to be involved, file for sole legal and sole physical custody, with no rights of visitation.

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You keep everything.
But today, you go get a restraining order. Immediately.
And you keep your child away.

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Go get a custody order.

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So my parents looked up the person I started dating at the time because my dad was a probation officer… And they were apparently so distraught that I broke it off with someone but they had done a background check and found information, never once asked about it but just assumed and pulled the same kinda crap, sorry I don’t play games and haven’t really talked to them for a good 5 years. They are the type of people where they think they are way better than everyone else and have taught me not to take shit from no one… Including them. They did the threats and I told them to do it because the judge would laugh and I would make sure it was a judge my dad didn’t know… Yeah they never went though with it.

Arrange only you can pick him up from daycare/school, etc. Make sure at pediatrician office they know you are the only contact. Use the text messages to file a harassment report and use that to get a restraining order against them and cut all contact. Don’t block so messages/voice-mail still come through because that gives you more ammo against them, but do not respond and do not answer calls.

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Block them and tell them to fuck off

That was 10 years ago and nonviolent… I assume.
They can’t take your child. Unless you give them one hell of a reason!
Don’t reply to any text and file your child support on walk away dad.
Grandparents don’t have legal rights. If his Dad doesn’t want to show up. Then ok. You can’t make him be a parent. Get your number changed and go on.

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I would get legal advice dealing with these people try getting restraining order against them both make sure u contact your son school to tell them no one can pick your child up

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It depends on where you live. In Ohio we have grandparent rights for visitation and such that they can take you to court to get. Trying prove you unfit will be difficult and I don’t see them gaining custody but they might win visitation rights.

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They can’t just take your child from you. Your husband is not even there anymore. You have to be involved in something pretty ratty yourself to lose your child. I think you are over intimidated by the word ex cop.

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Grandparents have no rights in several states. Block em if they can’t act right. They play by ur rules. Move if u have to

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File a restraining order on them.

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If your sons father does not have anything to his son in some states grandparents do not have rights. Check your state.

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Let them see their grandchild

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Isn’t there an agreement you check off on these background check websites where you agree not to use this information to harass anyone? What you mother and father-outlaw are doing is 100% harassment!

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You should let them visit your son when they can believe me it is so important for a child to know they are loved by their grand parents i wouldn’t be here today without my grand mother god bless all of them

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Call legal aid in your state…

Stop letting them scare and control you !
They can not take your child away ! Or just get custody !

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Yeah I would 100,000% cut them off. Change your name on Facebook. Get a new one if you need to. Anyone that goes back and tells them things also gets blocked and cut off

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You can always have a sit down with a lawyer and ask what’s the best thing to do! Tbh they sound like crazy stalkers!! As long as you both are clean and sober, your house is clean, have food, electric and water there’s nothing cps can do. Id ask to file restraining orders for them all!

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File a restraining order!! If you are in Texas, there are NO GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS!!! PROTECT YOUR CHILD AND YOUR PEACE DO NOT TAKE HIM.

I went against my instincts and my daughters father kidnapped her. (I took her to meet them because I wanted her to know that side of her family even though my first mind told me not too…yes DV)

I had to literally search for her for two days. God was on my side :pray:t5: He was getting ready to take her out of state so that I could never see her again and his parents were in on it. He never did anything for her or came to see her, it was all to spite me :bangbang: I pressed charges and got a protective order. (so glad I did)

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FUCK THEM THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS SO DONT CARE ABOUT THEIRS. He is YOUR child. YOU alone birthed him.

Goodluck love :heart:

Have they ever kept him from you? What behaviors are you classifying as toxic. I wouldn’t say pulling a background check toxic by any means. It’s smart and necessary. Why are you so scared they could get away with taking him? Are there skeletons in your closet you’re not mentioning? I didn’t see a single thing in your post that would warrant your child not knowing his grandparents

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Most states grandparents have no rights. You should get them for stalking you.

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Keep all texts and get a job contact order and restraining order and then get legal hrlp

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girl. they can not take your child from you, or use any of the info they got from the back round check on your new man to use it against you.
haha. plus its been 10yrs. they can grow up. and you make sure to tell them that too. USE YOUR VOICE!!!
where is your common sense at? you are the mother and have complete control of everything involving your child. google is your friend to find lawyers and most actually give you advice over the phone with free consultations!!!
if they want to see him, tell them they csn meet you at park, and they can see him there. if they dont agree to seeing him there, then thats on them! if they csnt handle seeing their grandchild with you supervising the visit , then thats on them… your child your rules.

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Get an anti-harassment order. That’s your first step.

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File for a restraining order. They’re harassing you. And to find out that you’re dating, to learn enough about him to do a background check… cut ties. Kids dad wants nothing to do with him and the grandparents are too much. Stop contact, file for a divorce and custody arrangements and have them put something in it about his parents.

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Do not under any circumstances let them get your child. They can’t legally keep him from you unless they have custody but they could possibly talk their son in to going and filing for custody. Until you have been to court and been rewarded custody keep that child away. Some grandparents will say and do stuff to turn a child against their parents. Tell them to go suck an egg. And as long as your new bf isn’t still doing drugs and treats your child good let them try to throw up his past it won’t help them

Don’t answer their calls, block them. Keep all emails, voicemail and texts for future evidence. File harassment charges and a restraining order. They have zero rights to the child unless a court orders so.

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I’d laugh In their face. It was TEN years ago! And like someone else said, as long as you both are clean then what can CPS do? If anything I’d file a restraining order,change your number, block them OR if you wanna try to still have your son keep contact with them, have a third party plan drop offs and let them have a couple hours. I mean your son does deserve to know his paternal grandparents HOWEVER if they even try to keep him from you, call the cops, get your son back and no more visitations. In MOST states, grandparents have no rights. Tell them, either stop with the threats and harassment or you won’t see or hear from my son again.

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Block the number, simple

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Get a restraining order. Get any rights removed or restricted to supervised visitation. You need an attorney.

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Block, ignore, call the damn cops if you need to. Do not allow your son NEAR these people.

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They can’t use shit from 10 years ago against you :woman_shrugging:t2: they’ll be a joke in court if they even somehow got it that far

Get a restraining order on grounds of harassment if you have to
For now id just say block everyone who knows your child’s father :woman_shrugging:t2:

Make sure to get legal custody. For one. That just closes the running out the ‘back door’ with your kiddos feelings. Then. I’d go no contact. Don’t let them talk to you that way… I had a very Very Similar experience with my ex’s mother. I would not entertain her icky behavior… 5 yrs later. She’s sooo much better. And have a very limited relationship but there is contact bow only cuz she’s not blatant anymore.

Move, cut all contact. The dad is the only one with rights.

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Take a deep breath :face_exhaling: they have no rights to your son. You are a good momma. Do not live your life in fear

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Get a restraining order in place against them . Theres no judge thats gonna take your child away without proving you unfit and giving you chances to get it together . They just wanna scare you . Send them a msg that says " if only your son cared this much lol mind your business " don’t contact them block their number . Keep your son away from them. If your ex has something to say take him to court and get documented supervised visitation before you let your son see him

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You save every single message and back it up on a drive in case something happens to your phone. Then you call the police and make a report. Be honest about new dude, it was 10 years ago. Do not let your child anywhere near those people

I’m not sure what state you live in but in most states grandparents don’t have rights. The court would have to find you completely unfit before they would even consider taking your child from you. Don’t let them stress you out. Stop responding to them

Grandparents rights is out the window. But I would save every message from them. Just because your ex fil use to be a cop he is not one anymore

Surely the grandad shouldn’t have been using his power to do random checks?

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Document document document you’re going to need it for the lawyer make sure that you’re documenting every incident

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Get a restraining order against them. Psychological abuse exists, and is equally as damaging.

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Talk to an attorney. Grandparents rights aren’t valid unless the child was in the care of a grandparent for atleast 6 months and they can prove that the it will cause emotional/ physical developmental delays or etc if the child no longer sees the grandparent. Atleast in most states it’s that way. Regardless I do believe you could get a restraining order with the right evidence. IF you think your safety is compromised. However I’m not sure they’d give you one simply because they found out stuff about your ex through abuse of power and threatened to get rights to your kid. It can sometimes be difficult to get a restraining order. I’d block them from all social media, block there number, and talk to an attorney.

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First they have to prove your a unfit mother. And most state grandparents has no rights. And after ten years the judge laugh at that fact. And he did his time. So there is nothing they can do just keep every that they send you just in case they get a wild hair up their ass. Good luck momma .

Block them from contact. Get a restraining order and move when able. Get custody of your child.

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First and foremost Grandparents have no legal rights to any child unless the court says so. They legit have no dog in this fight. They probably just blowing smoke. I would block them from all contact and go on about your business. I have had alot of dealings with a toxic grandparent and I’m telling you from experience it’s best to just drop all contact and block from your phone and social media. It really is best for your child in doing so. And it will help with your mental health and peace.

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Also… they can’t come onto your property.

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No boyfriend is worth losing your kids over.

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Ignore them and wish them luck!

Restraining order immediately and unless your child is being abused or neglected they can’t take him away. Do not let your son go over there.

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If they want to see your son they need to make their son utilize his parenting time and see him when its their sons time. I would go to court to get visitation set up with the dad, whether he uses it or not thats on him. But grandparents are less likely to get visitation through the courts if the dad has it set up already. But they can 120% take you to court for visitation and win. Document everything they send you, only text and email. but ask them to please stop messaging you and when they dont go for a restraining order for both you and your son. But dont respond bc that will likely ruin you being able to get one put in place. Just print everything off and put in a folder for safe keeping. So if they try anything you can just pull out your folder and have everything theyve ever said or threatened in one place. Good luck mama!

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They literally have zero grounds to take your child away for that so unless there is more to the story you have nothing to worry about and need to completely cut contact with these people or even get a restraining order if you think they will try and forcibly take your kid buy they have zero grounds to do so. Depending on your state they could sue for grandparent’s rights to have visitation but there is no way they would get more than like every other weekend visitations even if you are in a state that has those but yeah i wouldn’t let him go over there without something court ordered with specific times scheduled

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