from a mom & nanny stand point yes, you’re wrong. look for state provided day care centers if you think this is be all end all. 40 a day is helping you out and to show you wouldn’t even contribute to your child celebrating another - that of the sitter he’s with 3 days a week - I’m offended for her. The cost of living is so much and though you might feel as if you’re paying her enough, you’re not. You’ll find that out when you try to find other care, their policies on food, paying for the entire week to ensure your spot there, etc!
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I mean $40 for 5 hours isn’t good pay. I don’t blame her, yes you are wrong. Good luck finding anyone else that cheap… JS.
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$40 a day for 5 hours. Sis that’s less then $10 an hour and she is included food, which isn’t cheap these days. AND you work from home so you can save gas and your complaining about paying for your child’s meal. I would of paid for the whole bill as a happy birthday and appreciation. Be more mindful and appreciative. You get back what you put out. 
Yes you are wrong! All the way.
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That’s all u pay her
That’s so little
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You are wrong 40 dollars a day for 5 hours you’re literally paying her under minimum wage and then expecting her to spend her earnings and own money on your child’s food? And she watches your kid on her own kids birthday and you expect them to change their plans for their child because they have yours. No ma’am.
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Your definitely not paying her enough 
so you should pay for that stuff 100%
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You’re not wrong. Ignore all these people whining about $40 a day, obviously you and your sitter agreed to that price, so no foul there. (5yo aren’t that hard to watch either).
Sitter should have told you before hand about taking your kid out to eat and worked out payment details then rather than on the spot.
You two had an agreement and your sitter went outside those terms without notifying you.
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I would have gladly paid her. She is caring for your child. You are paying her 10.00hr. Well below minimum wage in my state.
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Honestly you’re both wrong, in my opinion.
She had no right to ask you for money for food you didn’t ask her to go out for…that was her choice. You also are EXTREMELY lucky to have a sitter that only charges you $40/day for 5 hours AND provides meals. If that were me and I had a sitter I trusted that was so cheap and my kid liked I’d have just sucked it up and sent the money.
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Her asking you for the money was in poor taste since it was unplanned etc. BUT, if $20 is what it cost to continue this good relationship and safety of your kid at a good place, THEN PAY HER. And be appreciative.
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You don’t even pay this woman minimum wage and you’re complaining about having to provide money for 1meal for your child. Just Venmo the money and be thankful this woman cares for you child
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Umm you are paying her $8 an hour (with meals) and that is LESS than minimum wage!!! If your child is well taken care of send her the $ because good, cheap care is not easy to come by…
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40$ I feel like it’s taking advantage of the sitter. I pay 70$ a day with food and care. Anything less isn’t a whole lot they could do with the child. 5 yrs old requires money and time as I have a 6yr old daughter. If you don’t want to argue over food money send him some snacks and food. Pluse what you normally would pay. I’d never send my daughter or baby to anyone without food to ensure she has enough. 40 for 5 hours daily isn’t much, especially with the way prices with food and gas has went up. Babysitters aren’t meant to pay for everything.
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I think my kids are worth more then 10$ per hour to watch them
That’s way below min wage but it’s what you and the friend agreed on and I would of been happy to pay for my child especially when your underpaying to start with
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Nope. Sitter should have paid. It was here choice to take him out.
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$8 an hour is a pi$$ take for someone who’s watching YOUR child for you so you can work in “complete silence” as you say, YATA in this situation and should of either 1 paid her a DECENT rate or 2 paid for YOUR child to eat considering you don’t pay her enough as it is! Would I hell work for less than minimum wage for ANY job
Good luck finding a place you trust for less than $10/hr. I don’t think she was wrong asking, it was outside of regular food at her hm. I would apologize, send her some funds and hope to mend the relationship if you like her as a sitter.
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She said she would provide meals and chose to take your son out she should’ve never asked you for that money.
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Also saying she should change her child’s special day just cause she has yours isn’t right at all, it in fact wrong. She’s spending her own money and time on your child. And she’s definitely being paid under wages.
How about you watch someone’s else’s child get only 40$ for 5 hours plus pay for their food and need. You definitely wouldn’t like or appreciate it.
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You be paying for a field trip if your kid went wouldn’t you and giving the extra money to spend there.
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Ya shoulda just forked out the money, but I guess it’s too late.
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Yeah I don’t blame her…lol
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No you are not wrong
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Nope she should of asked you a head of time not once they ate
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Im sorry…$40 for 5 hrs?!?
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She should have checked with you prior to. I would’ve paid this time but asked her to communicate plans like this prior to next time. It sounds a little disrespectful that she didn’t talk to you about it, but then again I think its awesome she took him out and about and included him. I think that this situation could be resolved through better communication, but I can’t see this being the only thing she feels frustrated about. I may be wrong… If it really seems like a good fit and you guys are personable, I would try to work it out. If you get the impression she’s just done, let it be
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Yes. You are paying $8 an hour for someone to care for the most important person in your life. She shouldn’t have had to ask. You should have be great full that she included your child and offered to pay. Do you not want your child to attend any special outings if so that should have been made clear at the beginning.
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Lady you needa get slapped when you wer typing this you didn’t realize how stupid any of this sounded???
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I think the sitter is tacky to ask for the money, 5 year old meal probably cost like $8 but even more tacky for the mom to not pay it when she gets her child care for so cheap. on a side not anyone want to watch my kids for $40 a day?? 
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Do you pay less than $10 an hour for a 5 year old plus she provides a meal and probably a snack. Could she have told you in advance they’re having a “field trip” for her son’s birthday and that there would be a charge or she wouldn’t be able to watch him, yes. But to have the audacity to act like you are doing her a favor rather than the other way around… you’re wrong. Now you’re without childcare cause you’re being petty. You could’ve just said, “I don’t have the money today but will add it to what I owe when I pay you for the week. Next time can you give me a heads up so I can have the money or make other arrangements.” Her kids obviously come first and she apparently doesn’t need your $40 a day. I wouldn’t have time for you and your kid anymore either. LoL
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$40 for 5 hours a day? That’s not even $10 an hour 
omg give her a raise and give her her food money!!!
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Time to CHANGE SITTER!!!
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Where I live you’re paying her LESS than minimum wage and she’s expected to provide meals with the inflation prices? Yeah you should’ve sucked it up and gave her the money and bought the birthday kid a present as well!!
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Good luck finding another sitter at the rate she was charging… you screwed up.
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If you are happy with her and how she cares for your child. Send her the money.
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$40.00 day, times have changed, where does she go for luunch that justifies you may half, that’s taking advantage of you! just saying! shes should hav made lunch plans when she is not working.
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Geez that’s less than 10$ an hr she’s getting screwed
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You are paying less then the average in a lot of states per hour. I don’t blame her for not wanting to continue the job when she could be using that time on a job that will pay her more
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This is insane!!
You are in the wrong !!
You are supposed to love and trust your child care and your not paying much as it is
And I guarantee she wouldn’t of asked if she didn’t have too ….think about that !!
She took your child to have fun with her family to a celebratory dinner and you are upset about having to pay your sons way ? just for that day? Absurd !!
Even if your broke down to the penny
You could’ve easily worked things out with the sitter to get her back as soon as you can and get paid etc!
BS and low of you
I agree with everyone on here whom says GOoD LUCK!! 
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She’s out of line and ungrateful!
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Mom totally should have paid for her son’s portion of the meal. $8/hour for childcare is a steal. I don’t blame the sitter for quitting.
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Pay her, take the loss
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110% wrong. Try finding cheaper. Well, I mean… you have to now. I’d say good luck, but you don’t sound like a very good person.
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Nope not at all, she’s being petty
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I would have probably messaged you and quit as well. Think about this, you aren’t paying much at all for someone to watch your child. That amount of money doesn’t go far at all. She took your child to do something fun. Your child. Yes, I think you should have sent the money
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Babsitters seldom have one or two kids that they are caring for times that $40xsay 6-7 kids shes making great money
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Yes you are wrong, 8 dollars an hour is not enough
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Yes, and you’re paying her piddles, its just not worth it.
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That’s not a lot to watch your child most people pay 15 around there per hr for childcare. Nice of her to invite your child along. I would have given her the $ and thanked her.
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You barely pay her even federal minimum wage in the US, which is already a crapshoot. And then on top of that, expect her to provide food for your child, cutting into her profits and no doubt dropping her below that. Yes, you were wrong. You never should have expected her to feed your child to begin with. The poor pay is bad enough, but to also expect her to pay your son’s expenses means she made the right choice refusing to babysit for you anymore.
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Yes you are wrong. You should have paid for the whole meal out of gratitude to have a good caregiver. I do nice things often for the people who support me in life.
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I throw money at babysitters who take good care of my kids… so if you don’t want to throw money at this person, then she isn’t the right fit.
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You don’t pay her enough. I would have asked for the same
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You are wrong you should not have refused it is your child not hers?
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Whilst I agree u aren’t paying enough for the amount of care, the arrangement was she was to provide food. She should stick to that arrangement, or ask u when I drop the child off if you could put in for the food as they were going out for the day.
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It’s probably like $10. Is it really worth the drama?
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About the $8_ hr. Must have been agreed upon btwn the two parties!! So stop attacking her about being underpaid, I am sure the sitter would not have done it
if she felt it was not enough. And any "field trips should have been discussed before hand and been told about having to pay for her child.
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Sounds like she’s just tired of watching your child in general.
I think she should have discussed the extra expenses with you beforehand.
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You’re in the wrong i would have given the money for taking my child along. $8 an hour is chunk change by us it’s 20-$30 an hour for sitter/nanny.
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As a childcare provider myself I wouldn’t take one of my charges to do something and except the family to pay for it unless discussed prior. It wad MY choice to do the meal/outing ect.
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You sound ungrateful and cheap.
I get $136 a day, 8 hours care. You are not paying her enough sorry.
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When I did daycare and took the children on outings, to the zoo, McDonalds, etc. I paid for them, but almost all of my parents of the 30 yrs. I did this, offered to repay me, without me ever asking. Sometimes I accepted, sometimes not.
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Nope ur not in tje wrong. It was her choice to take her son out to eat on the day she had ur son so she should have paid for his meal. I will not my kids out to eat unless I have enough money for Every one. That is called respect. U are paying her enough as it is for only 5 hours
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Yes you are Completely wrong she agreed to have your child for let’s be honest peanuts of a wage even on her child’s birthday. You expected her to change her plans for her child’s birthday… Put the shoe on the other foot… Would you change your child’s birthday plans for anything. I’d of told you to come get your damn child there and then. Why should her child miss out because youre a cheap skate let’s be absolutely honest. She didn’t even have to take your child.
You think $8 an hour for child care is more than enough? lol
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Yes you are wrong. You are paying her far less than anyone at McDonald’s makes with far more responsibility. If someone takes my kid out to eat (regardless of situation) i offer to pay her food. Even her grandparents.
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My only thought to this disparity, is that the writer lives in a country where the $8.00 dollar’s and hour, once converted to their currency, increases.in value. Other than that theory, the writer is an IDIOT that doesn’t even care about her son!!. 
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Sounds like a happy meal just cost you a babysitter. I would have just venmoed the money.
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She should of given you the heads up about lunch plans and not just assume you wanted him to go and that you were willing to pay for him to go.
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I was watching 3 different kids not at same time but all were same reasons. I was pd 25.00 a week 5 dollars a day for an hour sometime 2 hrs either getting them on a bus or off had no more than that.
Obviously there was an agreement about how much she paid the babysitter. She’s in the wrong in my opinion because A. The agreement is that she provide food for your son B. If you know you’re going to go out on a particular day and have another person’s child you either let them know in advance that you plan to do it and ask for the money to cover the extra child at that time, that way if the mum can’t or won’t pay that cost you can do it another time. I personally have taken many children out for lunch etc over the years and always pay with my own money unless the child’s parents specifically asked me to get them something and gave me the money in advance.
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Where do you live? Because that pay rate is pretty low for a sitter and for 5 hours! Also it was her kids birthday lunch. You could of shown some appreciation to her and her family for having your son the day of their kids lunch and just paid for your kid and maybe even her kid…
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$40 for 5 hours and they get fed You’re getting off cheap…I would think at least $12/hr with food. You should pay for your childs meal. Stop being cheap. IDC about any agreement it isn’t really that reasonable. I mean what is it an extra $10 for his meal?? C’mon… don’t like the baby sitter get a different one for that price…
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Not at all. I wouldn’t trust her.
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I would have absolutely paid for my little ones food, but that’s just how I am. However, I think a lot of people are overreacting about the AGREEMENT you had with the sitter for childcare. She clearly had no issue with the breakdown of hourly wages. I’m guessing she was paid in cash under the table and does not claim it as income on taxes. A lot of stay at home mom’s and even some grandma’s do this exact thing in my area as an easy way to make extra money which is usually a win-win for all parties.
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Nope you’re not wrong. If she “choose” to go out while your son was there that’s on her and she should have said something before she de ided to yake him out to eat.
My mother ran an in home daycare for 37yrs, the state we lived in at the time provided food assistance to help with the cost to feed breakfast lunch and dinner and 2 snacks per day. My mother was a 24/7 daycare. ( Cops, nurses, doctors, lawyers, strippers you name it she provided care for their children.) So yes if the sitter had said “Hey my child’s birthday is this day, and we are taking him/her out for lunch and your child will be in my care, do you want us to take them and can you please send $10 for the meal”
Hope you find another sitter soon best if luck
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$40 for 5 hours?!!! That would be 2 hours in California. How can your sitter afford extras for her own kids let alone yours???
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What you pay her probs doesn’t even cover rent sorry you probs should have paid for your sons meal regardless its not like she asked you to pay for all the meals.
Now look no babysitter nanny and now have to look for someone else that will take 40pr HR 15hours per week good luck😕
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Shes’s outta line if she chose to go out his meal is on her and any other activities too. Find someone who is normal!
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You are not paying her anywhere near enough. I charged $10/hr per child when I babysat and that was nearly 10 years ago. Today I would charge $15-$20/hr.
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I would definitely be charging more if I was providing the food.
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Not the ah for not wanting to pay when she took the kid out without giving you a heads up first.
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First off if you have ever baby sat it is a big job being responsible for someone child and it is a expensive. I think I’d gave her the price of a happy meal.
8$ an hour ain’t shit honey.
Send food if you don’t want to pay…
Wow I wouldn’t look after your kid either with that attitude, it’s her child’s birthday and you think she should do it the next day when she isn’t watching your child and 40$ for 5 hours is not enough I dono what county your in but that’s way below minimum wage!!!
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You are going to ruin a good babysitter over one meal? Wow 
guess you just cut off your nose to spite your face.
She’s right to drop you as a client. You were getting crazy cheap child care, you should have been sending snacks, bringing her coffee & whatever other little extras to show appreciation because you’re not going to find that kind of a sweet deal anywhere else. $40 for 5hrs including food means she was making next to nothing & doing you a favor all along
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You’re only paying her $8 an hour. Yes you’re in the wrong. Not just because you didn’t want to pay for your child’s meal but because you’re not compensating her fairly at all especially if she has to provide your child with her own food out of her own budget.
No you don’t owe her money
No. When you hire out to someone, you do as they say as they are the one paying your wages. That small bit of money when looked at on a big page…surely is not worth losing that job. And, I would also tell her good luck on her next job!!
I think you are expecting a lot of someone. She shouldn’t have to pay for food out. If your deal was Shes feeds you’d child that’s food at home. Eating out costs money. It’s not her place to pay for going out for your child. I would have paid it and thanked her for including your child. And thanked her for watching my child at such a cheap price all the time.
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Mamma you are lucky she babysits your child for 40$ a day lol .
I am a sitter and I get payed $30 an hour and I work my 8 hrs daily .
Tell the bitch to kick rocks
you pay her like 8.25 a hour lmfao
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You’re paying her $8/hr. to look after you’re little one.
Granted, she should have informed you prior to the day of.
You’ve now lost a sitter. You should have just sent the money.
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I always pay for my sons outtings, no questions asked, to find someone to trust my son with first was hard enough, and on top they included him. the money I pay is for her. I wouldn’t change my schedule as a sitter and celebrate my child a day late for anyone, I would also request the money. I would have mentioned it before hand though and I also pay a flat rate for the week even with days missed so I would of have gave you the option for early pick up or money for food !
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Um $40 for 5 hours?? That’s a great deal….Ours charges $15 an hr lol. Your kid is 5? It’s not like he had a big ass meal.
You are not even paying $10 an hour. That is not enough to care for and feed your child.
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Should have just paid for his meal…If it was her child’s birthday she probably didn’t wanna wait till after his birthday cause it’s just not the same… I wish I could find someone that cheap😔
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