Why would anyone charge minimum wages in their own homes GET REAL
You need a new sitter anyway
Girllll I get paid 160 every 2 weeks for watching my TWO god babies (don’t come for me their momma offered to pay me so I’d have money too) that’s $15 a day I’m charging her
Min wage in my state is $11 so $55 for 5 hours maybe you were both being petty she cld have paid bc she chose to go out to eat and you vld have sent some extra cash bc your barely paying her enough maybe not enroll your child in a daycare facility and appreciate the savings you were getting…
She definitely should have informed you ahead of time so you would have known but regardless you should have paid her for your child’s meal. She was already babysitting for super cheap and now that she doesn’t want to keep your child anymore probably puts you in a bind and I don’t think you’ll easily find someone else who will do it for that cheap let alone any cheaper
Your wrong 40 isn’t much for 5 hours and because you refused to pay for your child’s meal you lost a baby sitter was it worth it
$40 for 5 hours and she provides meals? That’s like $8 an hour SMH yes you’re in the wrong she didn’t have to take your child with them when they went to dinner for her child’s birthday you’re right,she could of canceled on u instead and put u in a bind. But she didn’t so why should her family & child wait to celebrate simply because she was watching yours? and since it wasn’t just a typical meal at the house like it normally would be I assume it wouldn’t have hurt you to reimburse her for the money she spent taking your child out with them to dinner. I don’t blame her I wouldn’t want to watch your kid anymore either especially for somebody who feels like $40 for 5 hours with meals is more than enough money for her time. Now granted you did have an agreement with her for the said amount but that still doesn’t excuse you or your attitude of you feeling that you pay her more than enough and that’s probably why she feels some kind of way and doesn’t want to watch your child anymore. your attitude on the topic of paying her more then enough obviously showed thru. $40 for 5 hours with meals isn’t much and as a mother the fact that you think it is more than enough is kind of jaw-dropping in my opinion because of course as a mother you more then anyone should know what hard work taking care of children is whether it’s in all day job or just for a few hours.
You are paying her less than $10 an hour. You should have just sent her the money. She didn’t ask you all the time or anything just this one time for a special ocassion.
I think the babysitter is underpaid, but all I’m saying is if someone takes my child somewhere and buys them something……that’s on them. Why would I pay you for something YOU chose to do with my child?
Girl lunch on the kids menu is like 10$ wow
$40/day is NOT enough.
$40 a day to watch a 5 year old is insane. She is grossly underpaid. I would have asked prior to going but I wouldn’t complain she’s doing you a favor.
You’re better off. You’ll find someone else easily. You agreed to meals are on her while with her, she could have told you beforehand. I find it extremely petty that she even asked for money for that. Honestly, it couldn’t have been more than $10. To make a big deal of it, you’re better off.
But, then again, I don’t like anyone paying for that kind of stuff for my kid.
Less than $10 an hour and you’re complaining about paying for part of his meal??? IMO you should’ve treated not only your son to the fun experience but maybe should’ve threw a little extra for the birthday boy…
You’re paying her less than $10/hr. Idk where you live but in my state we are almost to $15/hour and most work places are hiring between 15-19!
You pay her very little AND expect her to cover food expenses?!
Her son’s birthday shouldn’t be delayed because you didn’t want to pay to feed your own child.
First of all, you are wrong. Second, you are not entitled to tell her which days she can celebrate her kids’ birthday. YOU are his mom, regardless of who pays for his meals. I’m more shocked that you’re upset that she won’t pay for his meal. And third, you lost a really cheap babysitter all because of your selfishness. Most daycares cost $300-$400 a week! I hope you reconcile with her and communicate with her about your son, when he is in her care.
Should have just paid her cos good luck finding another sitter that cheap.
The audacity of you 2 expect this poor lady to change her child’s birthday meal to accommodate you yet your out here disrespecting her by paying her $8 an hour to watch your child. I’m glad she’s finally seen her worth and hope she never let’s anyone else make her feel like she’s just some cheap person that’s there for their convenience ever again. Let’s hope you’ve learnt your lesson now that you will have to look after your own child and won’t be able to find someone that cheap again
Ummm…if your child goes ANYWHERE with anyone…grandparents, sitter,etc…that requires money…YOU need to give them money for your child to eat and get in,etc. Should not have to come out of their pocket. Can’t tell you how many times people wanted to send their kids to the zoo and crap with us,but didnt want to send money for them to get in or eat on. Don’t Be CHEAP! Should have talked it out with her and,if didnt want your child to go with her,then shouldn’t have asked her to watch your kid the day she had plans! You are in the wrong.
You can do drop offs at our local daycares anywhere between $25-$35 for a full day. Some are 6am-6pm others are 7am-6pm daily. So honestly it really depends on your specific location when it comes to how much you were paying. Also, is she licensed to do business out of her home. Does she supply your child with learning curriculum. I personally have done both in home and regular daycare. Daycare was cheaper plus it included curriculum and all meals. I also was able to use all 5 days to work if needed and longer hours when required. I believe she should have given you a heads up over the additional money being needed for that outing and you could have offered to change your days. Me personally when someone is watching my kids, I’m not allowing them to get in a car with anyone unless it’s my family.
$40 is not a lot for 5 hours… plus, going out to eat is kinda like taking your child with them on a little “field trip” which IS paid for by parents at schools, daycares, etc., separately from their rate per week in most scenarios. Plus, asking them to celebrate their child’s BIRTHDAY a different day is just WRONG in my eyes.
Cough it up. She is expected to provide food for your child that is in the house.
Don’t be a meanie, pay the boys food, also shes your baby sitter you obviously trust her with your son, you must like her to some degree so why not buy the birthday boy something or chuck him some money?
Regardless of what we think of that it is the deal they made ahead of time why should everyone’s first thing be your not paying her enough
If she agreed to $40 a day with meals that’s on her. She could have aleast let you know ahead of time that she had plans that LO could go buy you would have to cover the cost. Most people would ie going to zoo, swimming, park etc. Also I think 40 a day 3 days a week 5 hour days thats $120 a week for 15 hours you could get full time daycare for close to that which would include full days all week. So the people that break it down to a hour are wrong to me. I’m sure I would have just paid her the $10 while looking for another sitter.
Why is everyone cutting this mother down? Obviously what she’s paying the babysitter is good. The fact the babysitter took the child out with them for a birthday thing is on the babysitter, she didn’t mention it to the mother until that moment… if she has a problem than the babysitter is a full grown adult can talk to the mother about any issues , otherwise quit complaining…
You’re paying her 8$/hr
FOR CHILD CARE!!!
Send the 10$ for your kids meal and thank your lucky stars for her.
(Apparently she smartened up and has moved on. Serves your ungrateful a$$ right.)
That’s not nearly enough money for 5 hrs of work. Minimum wage is higher than $8 an hour.
Some of these posts though. I genuinely wonder how some of you have survived to live to the age you have.
I would just pay for it since it’s my kid.May have been the day she could take her child out to eat.She may not have had it extra to pay it either depending on location they were eating and everything.She May have decided not to since u didn’t send it.I can kind of see both sides of this tho.If there was an agreement I understand but if she couldn’t afford to take him she should of just told u that in the message so u would know the reason
If it were me, I would send the money. Even though my mother watched our daughter for free while my husband and I worked, I made sure she had plenty of snacks and all other essential items.
Kind of yes. It’s kind of selfish of you to ask her to celebrate HER child’s birthday another day. As with school extra activities so cost extra. It will be that way in any daycare your child is in. I think she was absolutely correct in asking for that and I do think you are incorrect for refusing because of when she celebrated her own child’s birthday. Put yourself in her shoes. $120 a week is nothing
I get paid $40 per day/per child but I also have them longer then 5 hr SO she was lucky to have u as a sitter willing to pay that much but honestly if she took him out that’s on her…she chose to take him!! Anytime I do things w the kids I babysit I PAY!!
Interesting… A lot of mamas on here shaming this lady for asking a question… I thought about this and was like less than $10 an hour is not enough. But then I thought about my 5 year old who went to a 5 star preschool and I paid $90 a week for part time. I could drop him off anytime between 6am-6pm. I didn’t utilize that timeframe but I could’ve. They provided breakfast lunch and snack along with an education experience. So maybe the answer is search for a preschool instead of a private sitter. They might just be in your budget. I would agree that the sitter should’ve asked about taking your child anywhere and at that time mention the cost associated. Just like in school when the kids go on field trips. Parent signs an authorization and gives money for necessities or the child don’t go. Lol ladies responding like they are the sitter!
40$ a day thats not even Legible is she has to provide food to🤦♀️
$8hr? I wouldn’t have time either
She includes your son in her children’s lives and wanted your son to enjoy the party instead of not feeling welcomed and having to hear about it from his friends… she could have asked you prior but parenting and adulting isn’t an exact science. Please know you HAD a great babysitter and because of a $10 miscommunication you are now looking like a fool who doesn’t like their child to go to a fun event.
I don’t think that’s nearly enough money to be paying for watching your child. When I was a nanny 3 years ago I made $10 an hour. Plus extra on occasion. Since then cost of living has went up. I do understand that she agreed to that price but I think it’s still not nearly enough money. I do think that you should have paid for your child’s meal given the fact that it was a special occasion. just my opinion
She shouldn’t have to adjust her child’s bday plans over $10 dollars I wouldn’t want to watch your kids anymore either with this mindset. Less than $10 an hour is an absolute great price in the first place I would have just sent the extra money. I would 100% expect this outcome if it was my situation and I handled it your way
Are you kidding me? 40$ for 5hrs? That’s a great deal! She shouldn’t be providing YOUR child with meal’s. That’s ridiculous in my opinion
I used to work at a daycare center, and also used to babysit. Let me just say, $8 an hour is a STEAL for a babysitter. Especially one that normally provides meals. If I had a sitter for even close to that cheap, I certainly would never complain that I had to pay for 1 meal
If it were me I would have sent enough money to pay for all of them since they’re celebrating her son’s birthday.
What a gift she didn’t say she couldn’t work and brought your child along too.
But wasn’t it her child’s bday yesterday? Why should she have to wait until the next day to go out to dinner for her child’s bday? Maybe if you paid her atleast minimum wage she wouldn’t have asked for money to cover your child’s meal… I mean your child’s meal couldn’t have been that much extra to just venmo her what it was. … I’m a nanny and bring my son to work and when we go places the parent covers the cost for there child always… and I make way more then $8 an hour…it’s an outing and you should cover the cost for your child… when your child goes on field trips at school you pay extra for them
Yikes. I stopped reading after you stated you believe you pay her enough. $40 for 5 hours isn’t enough, in my opinion. And yes, if she is taking your son out (especially if it was a rare occurrence) you should pay her for his food.
Doesn’t matter if you’re wrong or not???
What it comes down to is you didn’t pay for his happy meal and now you don’t have a babysitter….
You got a learn to pick your battles……
now you assed out over a happy meal….
. 
Wow so you’re paying her shit. $40 for 5 hrs?!
I mean if she took the kid out then she could pay, it’s not like he invited himself along. She also could have mentioned it to you the day before or when you dropped him off that they were going out and could you give her a lil extra. I mean she’s not obligated. But then again how much could it really cost to feed a 5yr old
For 5 hours that’s not bad at all. Plus he’s 5 - I’m guessing he’s potty trained. So easy money. If I take kids out to eat with my kids I pay since that would be my idea. She should’ve told you she couldn’t watch him
IMO $8 isn’t “nearly enough” -
beyond that I agree asking for it after the fact was odd instead of explaining up front and giving you the choice to send him or not.
While it may have not been in the wrong to say no, she now has decided to no longer watch him as a consequence and that may end up costing you more in the long run with finding a new sitter who may charge a more reasonable rate per hour.
I would have paid but made clear anything like that in the future needs to be ok’d first.
So no, not wrong but neither is she for deciding that was a line to end watching him.
It was her kids bday… I will tell you what I would do… I would send a wrapped bday present for her kid and money for him to eat on if asked. Some parties like she is having is usually paid for the planning parent for their child… Other kids are invited to eat but should bring a bday gift. $8 an hr is not a lot in this economy but I understand it’s costly. When I was a teenager many moons ago, I got $13 a week for 2 children. I would try to talk the sitter if you want her to keep your son., But I wouldn’t make a lot over being asked for the money.
Since she chose to take her child out to eat she should pay for your child
My fiancé is a nanny and gets $25 an hour plus meals and travel 50 hours a week. You’re not investing in “5 hours of silence” you’re investing in someone dedicating 5 hours 3 times a week to your kid. Good helps hard to find.
$40 for 5 hours…I’d be paying for everyone’s meals!!!
Omg, good luck finding a sitter. Your whack. Entitled and out of touch with reality. Gtfoh. This has to be a troll post.
You are paying her $8 an hour and you want her to pay for meals for your kid? Uhm… assuming she feeds your kid even one meal a day, and assuming it’s part of what she’s already made for her family, that Lowers her $8 an hour. I’m assuming for 5 hours it’s a meal and snack or two meals though.
now I think she should have asked first about taking your kid to eat out and you paying for it.
Dude you’re so beyond wrong. I suggest you apologize.
40 dollars for 5 hours? You should be giving her money for your child’s meals too. Or packing them food. That is ridiculous. You’re paying her 8 dollars an hr to watch your kid and demanding she provide all meals. And she asks you ONE time to send what 5-10 bucks to cover your child and you refuse…. Your loss you will never find another sucker willing to watch your kid for that cheap.
Pshhhh nope. I wouldn’t watch your kid either.
Is your child a burden for you? That’s the only reason I can think of. Why would you be so damn cheap with the person that watches your child???
Omg I can’t begin to imagine how you see the person caring for your most precious thing!!!
Everyone Who keeps saying eight dollars an hour isn’t that much….
If you’re working a job that pays $16 an hour half of his going to the babysitter…
And don’t say get a better job this this this, if you’re a single parent there is no better job you have to work with the kids schedules doctors appointments everything so what are peoples opinions on what to do? Because yes in reality getting a better paying job would be ideal but that’s not 90% of society
Babysitter is 100% wrong. They had an agreement and if she decided to do something different, that’s on her. Plus, a five year old eats a $5 happy meal. Pretty petty and cheap that she didn’t want to pay for him.
Daycare at school would be considerably more,and you would be providing lunches everyday. You were getting a great deal and lacked appreciation. Now your screwed.
She isn’t even getting $10 an hour. But when I bring someone else’s kid out I pay for it.
That’s 8 bucks an hour you should def provide food and other things or pay more
She chose to take him and It says that their deal is that she provides the meals when her son is in the baby sitters care… I’m with the mom on this.
I personally always at least offer to send money I’d my sister or parents get my daughter food when I’m at work… but they never ask. But that’s just me. In this instance, they have a deal that the babysitter provides…. So the babysitter should’ve provided… or asked the mother prior to going out.
I always used to send money with my kids just in case. I always told my
Kids to pay for themselves .
Even when they were young like four or five I would put money in a zipper pocket of a jacket that I would make them take and I would tell the sitter if she needs anything she has money. please help her and make sure she gets the correct change and a receipt that way they knew that I was expecting her to get her change back and they couldn’t “steal” her money from her…
I would check her pockets every day.
But I disagree with the mother when she said the babysitter could’ve taken her child out on a different day her son wasn’t there… that is ridiculous because it is her birthday, I would never even think to say that or think that.
You are wrong your child needs to pay his own way eating out with others your son is worth a good sitter now you have non your fault
I would say both of you are in the wrong on this. On one hand, she should’ve asked your permission or waited until it was her own time for personal matters. As someone taking a job, she’s already shown questionable judgement.
However, at the sametime, providing for your kid with your own resources is still on your table.
$8 an hour is nothing tbh you should of just paid for the meal, and no she should be able to celebrate her child’s birthday when she wants that’s not up to you just because she’s watching your child. If anything I would of sent a birthday gift for her child as well you need to be grateful not selfish. Daycares cost more money and some don’t even include meals if she was making meals for your kid that’s better than most daycares serving half frozen meals. You should of just paid and not argue I hope you can apologize and make it up to her to not lose her as a sitter before someone else hires her.
She should have paid for your kid and not asked for money. She also is super justified in saying the amount you’re paying her is not making it worth her time.
Yes Venmo her her money and keep your own kid
You are the definition of entitlement “she could’ve take her kid out for his birthday the next day” . You’re not even paying minimum wage, good luck finding another sitter with that attitude plus with that salary
I think it’s fair that she ask you for money for your son to eat out with them. Nothing is cheap… why should she have to pay for your child to eat out? In my honest opinion I wouldn’t have even taken the child that day cause it’s my sons birthday. It’s hard to find good help and when you do you should appreciate it.
Where I am, babysitters make 15+ an hour, depending on experience. Throwing her a couple bucks wouldn’t have hurt much considering the low rate of pay
No you are not wrong BUT sometimes to keep status quo its better/easier to go along with it. Unfortunately, it’s a moot point now.
5 hrs for 40 a day. Thats less than 10 an hr. Ohhh nooooo
No your right - if she drops you that quick - maybe she didn’t really care for him in the way you thought.
I agree with the babysitter on this one, maybe she meant she provided food from her own home, if going out to eat the right thing to do was to Venmo the money even if it’s a $5 meal, you don’t know her situation, and $40 for 5 hours is a really good deal. I would hate to look elsewhere for a babysitter especially when she’s not even charging that much and they’re hard to find these days.
You’re definitely wrong. $8/hr is not “plenty” and you are an entitled ass. You should be thankful she included your son in her child’s celebration and have offered to pay anything extra.
I would have paid her.
$40 for 5 hours a day isn’t shit
She should have informed you of this ahead of time …
Yes you are very wrong and now good luck finding someone for that amount of money.
You pay her $8 and hour, how is that “already paying her enough”
40 a day plus providing meals?! The sitter undersold herself in the first place. It was a reasonable request.
Honestly I don’t understand why this is necessary to ask others opinions on this. Personally when it comes to my kid and the person baby sitting my kid… I’m going to be close to them in one way or another or I wouldn’t leave my kid with them. I wouldnt have a problem with sending a few bucks to help feed my kid that I would be feeding otherwise. I dont see the baby sitter asking to be some type of way, she could really be struggling with money and wanted to involve your child and you should know her enough to know the situation and not come to strangers for an opinion… i know if my baby sitter asked for money to feed my kid i would send it in a heart beat because i wouldnt expect her to feed my kid on the money i pay her for baby sitting idk. Just me. 40 a day isn’t much and I would feel like a pos expecting part of that to come back to me (my child) you want to respect and care about the people in your life and your kids life… again just me. Maybe I’m not understanding i just think it shouldn’t even be a question.
You’re paying 8 bucks an hour for her services and she is feeding your kid as well. Yeah you’re cheap af. Give the women the funds she requested. Because honestly good luck finding someone else to watch a kid and feed them for 8 bucks an hour.
I don’t think you’re wrong if she agreed to pay for meals while he’s in her care but you’re wrong for expecting her to do so on 8 dollars an hour. That’s ridiculous.
Your in the wrong as it is 40 bucks for 5 hours is tbh nothing!! And WHY should she have to take her son out another day when it was for his birthday very unreasonable you are ! You should have venmo her money and I mean a gift for the kiddo woulda been nice !!!
Good luck finding a babysitter for 40$ again should of sent the 15$ when she asked now look at you babysitterless lmao 
I think she should have told you ahead of time .
I’m so thankful when my kids were little and I paid the babysitter if her and her family went out to eat she took all 3 of my kids with her 2 kids and paid for them I did the same for her/ I was paying $600 a week $200 for each child .
Maybe I’m weird but if I take someone out to eat I pay for it. Kid or adult if I asked you to come eat with me I fully expect to be footing the entire bill.
You should’ve paid for your child AND said happy birthday to her son and paid his too!
This is why I don’t babysit. I like to take my kids places and people complain if I ask for money for them to go also!
Yes you are 100% I’m the wrong here and I find it hilarious thy you even had to ask! You pay this woman $8 an hour to do a job YOU should be doing!!! If she was celebrating HER CHILD then no she doesn’t have to reschedule that around YOUR needs! You sound very entitled and that she should be catering to you when that’s not the case at all boo. I pay my baby sitters very well because they don’t have to do anything for me AND I leave money for food!! I think you need to learn to be grateful sis.
8$ an hour isn’t minimum wage like 15 or more everywhere and even with that ppl are struggling cough up the money
It’s 8 an hour. That’s horrible pay. Venmo her the money.
You’re dead wrong. Good luck finding someone else to watch your kid for $40.
40 for 5 hours? There are labor laws against that. .
Sitter deserves a better job!
100% in the wrong. i would laugh in someone’s face if they offered me $40 to watch a 5 year old for 5 hours. and then to expect her to pay for YOUR kids food? i used to babysit a kid for $75-100 each time and the parents would still leave $40 for food. not to mention it was her kids birthday. how you gonna expect her to just not celebrate her kid’s birthday…
No, you are not wrong!
Should have been told prior, not in the wrong. Find a daycare, if you’re paying 120 for 3 days,. You can find one for 160 a week in my area…so that may be the difference, I dunno