I think you are lucky to find a babysitter for $40. Here in my area, I live in Indiana, you would have a very hard time finding a sitter if that’s what you want to pay. That’s very cheap, you should have paid for your son’s meal and kept your sitter because you will find out how lucky you were to have someone so cheap
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That’s $8 an hour. My kids eat about once an hour 
She’s feeding your child with the money you’re handing her. I definitely feel u should have offered to pay for his lunch without her even asking. But now that she has said she doesn’t want to watch him anymore, please don’t try to mend it. Seems like there may already be some resentment and I wouldn’t want my child staying with someone who doesn’t want to have them.
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Less than $10 an hour isn’t even minimum wage. And she’s doing that while providing your kid food!?? If she’s going out to eat you should pay for your kids meal. It’s different than being home
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If she paid for your son’s meal then basically she made like 25 bucks for the day and food shouldn’t be included in 40 folders a day thats insane she’s getting paid absolute nonsense then
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Yes very wrong. $40 for 5 hours is where I’d start. You expect her to pay for your kid to eat when you’re not even paying her shit. Yikes. I hope she quits on you.
If you guys made a deal about her providing food, you are not wrong, but if this doesn’t happen often you should’ve just paid her.
If this was a creche or school taking your child on an outing. Then you’d be expected to pay for their food.
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Your paying her $8/hr. You were lucky and ruined it by not paying for a meal.
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She should have mentioned it BUT you should also pay it…it’s 10 dollars lol. Also why should her child have to wait to celebrate their birthday over 10 dollars? Look at the bigger picture…
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$40 for 5hr is less than $10 an hour. i’d quit on you too especially if you didn’t send me money for your kids food. she’s literally making $120 a week from you. how is that enough to even pay any of her bills?
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Y’all are both wrong.
It’s the kids birthday just send $20
She should of told you so you had the option to send money or not send your kid. But I think you’re ultimately wrong for not sending the money that had already been spent to feed YOUR child outside of meals she would of already provided. There’s def a cost difference in the home prepared meals that would of been included in your childcare fees and going out to a restaurant. I think both parties are wrong in a sense
Bc you being cheap you just messed up a great thing. Good luck finding child care that cheap somewhere else
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You should have given her the $, she is seriously under paid
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$40 for the whole 5 hours?
Or have I read it wrong. 
Thats $8 an hour!
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$40 for 5 hours ( $8 an hour), just give her the damn money or pay her $15 an hour so she can afford it. It no wonder people have stopped wanting to work $8 hour, minus baby food costs.
Food should be provided by YOU for that price added to any extra spending that’s needed such as field trips or what not. It’s a meal for YOUR CHILD not hundreds of dollars lady.
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8 dollars an hour plus she pays for your kids needs?
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I would of Venmo her the money.
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So you are the one at fault. She feeds him at home not required to feed him out
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Weather your right or wrong, your now the one without a babysitter.
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Girl you better send her that 10 for a kids meal!
NO other baby sitter is going to accept $8/hr and provide food…good luck!
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Depends on where u live at. My daughter pays 150 per week includes meals and diapers for up to 11 hours if she wants to leave him that long. 40 for 5 hours is plenty u are not wrong.
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You are paying her $8 an hour…. What’s minimum wage in your state? She’d basically pay 1 hour wage to feed your kid if not more. She would ideally be loosing money. You shoulda just sent her the $
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How much is she asking exactly $4? And you have a problem with that but it’s your child who ate the food??? SMH
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you are wrong. You pay too little.
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Should of payed her… child care is hard to come by now ah days $40 aint 
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You are paying her just $8 an hr and she provides meals so you are getting a deal there. Yes, she could have asked you beforehand and she is being petty to ask you to send money for his meal but also you are being petty for refusing to send the money–I mean how much money could a child’s meal cost! If she has been a reliable babysitter and your child enjoys going there I think you should apologize–give her the extra money and up what you pay her each day to $10 an hour and beg her to keep him on!
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Tbh you paying less then minimum wage regardless of how many hours! And how can you dictate when a person takes their child out for his/her birthday. You should be grateful she took your baby instead of calling in for the day!
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You’re only paying her 40$ for 5 hours and you want her to feed your child as well? Do you know how expensive everything is these days ? Also not sure what the min wage is where you’re at but that sounds crazy
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Why not just send her the $$? $40 a day isn’t crap for babysitting. Just send her the $$ and tell her thank you.
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You’re really not paying her that much but she should have let you know prior to going out that they would be going out and that you would need to venmo her money after the outing. I do think you’re in the wrong in refusing to venmo her the money though since you do not pay her much at all anyway. She’s babysitting that cheap as a favor to you pretty much because you would pay much more elsewhere. You should have been grateful to have someone that included food and made that little. I think you could have handled your reaction better.
$40/ 5 hrs is not enough!!
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For my oldest I pay $15 an hour plus if she takes him out places (generally talked about before hand granted)I pay for what he cost! Like really how much would your child’s food bill have been? $10? Why cause issues over that? Just pay it and ask her next time to talk to you about it before she takes him out to eat.
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Oh you messed up. You were so fortunate to find care for your 5 year old for that price. Good luck finding someone to feed and enrich your son’s life for $8/hr in the future. Something tells me she isn’t feeling appreciated…
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Times are tough as it is. Pay for your kids food.
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That’s $8 an hour. What if you only make $10 an hour?.. If you have multiple kids in your care like many do, so let’s say 5 kids, and charging $8 an hour per child. You’re making $40 an hour… Good God I’m in the wrong profession, but no way in hell I’d watch these kids today…
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You really expect her to cover the cost of YOUR kid when that’s all you pay her??? I’ve stopped babysitting because of shit pay. You are in the wrong here.
Her kids birthday, and she has to cater to you and make plans to take her kid out the next day? No. You’re wrong here.
She should have had the conversation beforehand 
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Unless she’s running a licensed facility, $40/day is very generous. As a childcare home administrator I don’t even do hourly calculations unless the child comes less than 3 days a week! Childcare rates are astounding and its hard for parents to afford that on a weekly basis. All food should be provided. The only time I ask for extra is if we’re going on a trip or doing extracurricular stuff. But I do strive to help parents as well as provide exceptional care. Now adays it’s all about the money for some ppl smh
Uhm 40$ a day ? That’s not very much. I’d pay for his food no problem or questions asked.
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Get the hell out of here you cheap ass. Should’ve the babysitter asked you before yes. But pay your son’s mail she’s not asking you to pay the whole families
It’s a catch 50/50 y’all had an agreement that she would be feeding your son yet you should have sent the money as who knows what the issue may have been for her asking either way this si your son not hers it’s your responsibility to make sure he is very well taken care of in all aspects so yea that’s my thought
This is a situation where she should have asked first if she wanted additional compensation. If you’re at risk of losing your sitter, you should probably have a more serious conversation about what is and is not ok. If clear boundaries are laid out, you both will know what to expect moving forward.
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Lmao you pay under minimum wage and expect her to not celebrate her child’s birthday on the day because you didn’t want to pay $10 extra for a kids meal?
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This can’t be real lol
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Find another sitter. she just did that maneuver to piss you off and it worked. She sounds like she doesn’t want to be bothered babysitting anyway.
You were wrong as soon as I read $40 a day.
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You people talk about entitlement, she made an agreement with this lady, no matter the price, ya’ll astound me. What happened to morals and values. Js
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Yes you’re wrong! I wouldn’t watch your child either.
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How much would you pay a daycare??? Now send that babysitter money for that baby’s food!
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I don’t agree she would of mention something prior … my 5 year old always ends up eating a small portion of my plate I never get them their own plate cause it’s a waste …. Also
a full day (0700-500) + food is 36$ at most 40$ in Ontario anyways … if you arnt licence then yeah 40$ is enough and if she decided to bring him then it’s on her … I know I wouldn’t be charging someone but then again I’m
All about helping another mom out
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She should be paid more than $40 a day!
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Yea sorry but you messed up. If she was willing to watch him for 8 bucks an hour, you should have just sent the money for a meal.
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I think if anyone is asking to be reimbursed it’s because they usually need it.
- $40 a day isn’t a livable wage here for 5 hours (I’m saying the state I’m in)
- yes she should have had a prior conversation with you
- my guess is she needed the money and I’m sure you need the sitter.
- try to speak to her and see if you can pay her back.
I pay my babysitter $25.00/hr plus I buy dinner for everyone…. Paying 8hr…… you should pay his meal. Expecting her to wait until the next day? It’s her sons birthday. I agree with your sitter.
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$8.00 per hour? Yikes. I couldn’t even provide food for myself on that wage. Let alone a child. I would have sucked it up, and paid her but would politely say “next time, lets discuss it before the fact, in case money is tight on my end”. Surely his meal didn’t break your bank, just this one time. I would have sucked it up, but I wouldn’t want this to be a thing, and I’d express wanting to have a heads up, prior. Id also reconsider the ‘‘babysitter provides all meals for my child, at $8 an hour wage’’, sounds like she was doing a favor, that’s not financially feasible for anyone in 2022. Food inflation and gas inflation.
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She should have at least told you ahead of time what her plan was for her child’s birthday. I feel that would have been fair. I hate being blindsided. However; I don’t think it’s fair of you to suggest taking her child out the next day for their birthday. Also a child’s meal is not very much, 5-7 dollars maybe, is it really worth all the stress? Seriously? I would have just paid it but let her know should this situation rise again to inform you before so you can plan accordingly. That 40$ you pay her a day for your child is for her time, her energy and she also feeds your child. I never took offense when I had to have a babysitter for kids when asked if I could spare extra for extra things but then again I was asked and not told. I think this is silly to get so worked up about over a small amount when the cost was losing childcare which is hard to find especially at the price you pay. You are both wrong in my opinion.
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It was her sons birthday and an extra treat for your son to attend so why should she change her sons birthday plans ? What’s an extra tenner?
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If that’s how you feel then don’t send your son back. If that was the agreement then she shouldn’t be asking for more money. She decided to take your son then she should pay the meal.
You 100% should and for a measly $40 a day you should be paying for all his food when with her. This screams cheapskate.
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I would have paid her because with the amount you’re paying plus she’s providing food, she’s been doing you a favor for sure.
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$40 for 5 hours? Is that even minimum wage. Good luck finding anybody else who will accept that amount.
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For y’all that are jumping on to this lady for how much she is paying with meals included, apparently that was the agreed upon price. If the babysitter agreed to the $40 plus meals, you were not wrong. It’s not your fault she took your son out and it cost him to eat. She should have spoke with you about it before hand.
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No you’re not wrong. Her greed and immaturity are.
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I pay $15 an hrs and that’s cheap on long island.
It’s was HER kids birthday how dare you even suggest she take HER child out the day after his birthday your seriously fucked up now look at cha no baby sitter bc you simply didn’t wanna send money for YOUR CHILD TO EAT!!! She provides meals WITHIN her home not outside the home and $40 a day come on now that’s chump change
There is more to this story then what is being told.
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All of you are saying she is in the wrong - and as much as I agree on the low pay but it was agreed upon prior to babysitting - and I doubt she’s forcing her to cover food. My babysitter covers food while my kids are in her care and she charges me technically $150 a week even though mine only go 4 days a weeks but they can go the 5 days and it’s about 9 hrs a day. But the food coverage was her deciding unless I had a specific diet I need or wanted my kids on.
I dont feel you’re in the wrong. Absolutely believe she should have discussed it with you - but I also don’t see a $6Ish kids meal not being worth an argument over if you like her as a babysitter and she’s reliable. It’s a chance for her to understand that rather then just making the decision to take him - by doing that she should understand she’s taking on that responsibility by not talking to you prior
I dunno what planet u live on but when my kids were both in daycare it cost me 600 every two weeks that’s daycare. It was her child’s birthday u probably should have found another baby sitter or send the girl the money. She could of said I can’t watch ur kid today it mynkids birthday but she didnt. Wtf is wrong with u
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Yea you screwed up!Not sure where you live but that is CHEAP babysitting!!Over here people are paying $15 an hour and up!I’d fix that situation ASAP and pay her for the food
She should have asked first but it couldn’t have been that much for his food. I’d have sent it and asked her to check first next time.
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No your not wrong. If she agreed to include meals and snacks to begin with it doesn’t matter if it’s in her home or out. $8 an hour is plenty enough to cover a meal out for a 5yr old. She chose to go when she had him, that’s on her not you. She could have easily planned around the time your son would be there. 
Yeah I would have just venmoed it. It was only a one time thing.
Yes. You’re wrong here. $40 a day even being “only” five hours is less than $10 an hour. And you make her provide meals. Yikes. I wouldn’t have the time for that either. This is coming from an early childhood education provider, and nanny. That is serious underpayment and she deserves better.
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Geez I pay our babysitters $20/hr plus a tip when we get home. So for 5hrs that would be $100 plus an extra $15/20 for tip. You are being greatly UNDERCHARGED by your babysitter who’s also providing food for your kid. Sure it would have been nice if she had told you what the plan for the day was, but I don’t think an extra $10 to pay for your kids part of the meal is going to break the bank.
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I guess I’m on the other the side. $40 a day is a lot! She also said that the sitter didn’t say they were going out to eat. Where do you get $40 a day to babysit?? I need to move 
You’re being extremely cheap. You get what you pay for.
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You lucky that’s all she charges you where I live can’t find a babysitter for under 15hr you need pay her the $10 for the meal
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Yea, she could have just not taken your kid because it’s her kids bday. I might have been the one to drop him back off to celebrate MY child. You couldn’t send her money for YOUR child to eat?
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Your paying $8/hr AND you want her to pay to feed your child … Wow
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You’re never going to find another $40 a day sitter and you deserve that reality.
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$8 an hour… you are lucky to have a sitter that cheap. 100 percent you should have just paid the money for your child to eat 
Goodluck finding another good sitter that is responsible and feeds your child for 8 bucks an hour
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You pay her less than $10 an hour and you want her to supply your kids food and snacks too, so that’s like $6 an hour. I wouldn’t watch your kids either.
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She was wrong! You were absolutely right she should’ve waited till she had the free time babysitting is like her job she needs to take it seriously and if it’s such an inconvenience for her then maybe you can find somebody else
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I pay my 2 daughters babysitter $75 a week for 2 days a week after school from 6-7:45 and 2 full 10 hour days. I also do weekly grocery pickups for her to have food for them while they are there. Plus I pay $140 a week for before and after school care, and once summer comes that will be $280 full time tuition plus the $300 extra a month I pay for her to babysit. Not including the food I buy for her.
…so I would have gladly sent the money, because now it looks like you’re out a sitter.
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40$ a day for 5hrs is 8$ an hour plus she’s paying for food? I don’t think your paying her nearly enough & you should have offered to pay for his meal before she even asked.
Not sorry that’s not the answer you want but you already are paying her nothing. Food/snacks/drinks alone each day for a 5yr old is like 15$ extra.
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Wait what the hell? $40 for 5 hours?
Yes, Venmo her some cash, LMAO.
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Depending where you live, everyone is saying you don’t pay enough. Where I live people pay $15 to $20 a day on average.
I think she could have taken her child out when she didn’t have yours if money was an issue.
- She should have discussed it with you before doing it instead of asking for money after the fact
- If it’s only $10 yeah you should pay it but if she’s that hard up on cash then she could have waited until your son was gone to take her kid out. No one says you have to take your kid out on his mother, if she had an office job and worked late she would have to take him on a different night
3.at the same time it’s only$10 she can pay it since it was her choice to bring the kids out - If I was babysitting someones kid and I took them out to dinner and our agreement was that I pay for his food I would pay
I mean not for nothing u pay her like 8 dollars an hour way less then minimum wage to take care of the most important thing in ur life I don’t think it’s much to ask . Daycare is 250 a week with no meals included
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When I had my registered daycare if I want to take all the kids out to eat I never asked the parents to pay for it .
Honestly, that $10 just cost you an entire babysitter. Hope you are happy, because you are wrong! Always always offer to send money if someone is taking your child out…
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Even if I pay someone to watch my kids, I always make sure they have money to eat on or I at least try and pay them for their meal. The only place I don’t send money or food is daycare, cause it’s not allowed.
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It’s the audacity for me.
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Im sorry. Most of you must have outstanding jobs because when you are single mom and don’t have help from your kids father . 40 a day for 5 hours is 8 an hour. That’s almost half of what I make. I do agree you need to provide his meals when he goes there because she shouldn’t spend the money on food for your kid to eat. However if she was planning on taking your son out with her then she needed to tell you ahead of time she needed money so he can eat not afterwards.
Would you want to work for $8 an hour AND have to pay for your boss’s kid to go out to eat? I know I wouldn’t.
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$40 a day for 5 hours? Are you insane?
$8/hr?
I pay my sitter $16-$20 an hour and leave money to feed all of them.
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