What would you do if your so-called close friend doesn’t really deal with their three-year-old child hitting other children, my child? Who is almost five doesn’t want to play with the other child because the child will hit if it doesn’t get its way. Snatches toys, throw toys, says no, and screams if it doesn’t get its way.
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Handle the child, seperate them, don’t allow them to come over. When they ask why be honest.
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Just be honest with her tell If y’all so close of friends it shouldn’t be that big of a problem just sit down and have a conversation
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Who cares who’s child it is. Stick up for YOUR own child if they won’t do anything about it. You can nicely but sternly say “Excuse me! Please don’t hit _____ again that’s not nice”
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Do not let your child play with that kid. If she asks why tell her. My child does not want to be around your child because he hits and you do nothing to correct the behavior. It may end your relationship if they are pretty. But your baby comes first.
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I wouldn’t let my child around the misbehaved child. I would be honest. But that’s way to old not to know manors! I would be honest. Tbh I rather lose a friend over being honest. Then continue letting my child being bullied.
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A friend’s child did this to my kid once back in 2014 I handled her kid and then I handled her and I threw them out of my house. Don’t let them come over anymore. especially if she knows how her child acts to your child and she’s not doing anything about it…
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I mean you could always tell your kid to hit the other kid back 
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These ladies are right and this is teaching your child two things 
one is it is normal to be hit and the other is that it’s actually ok to hit definitely need to have a word with your friend x
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Why refer to the child as “it”
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Maybe she was over disciplined as a child and doesn’t really k ow what to do. I put a time out chair in the kitchen and anyone entering my house had a set of rules as soon as they walked in.
No hitting
No throwing toys
No biting
No being a bully
It was said to all kids before I visited the mom and the parents knew I was serious. I had a couple friends like this and it worked pretty good. I would sit there if they moved and the time out was one minute per year old. Hugs it’s frustrating I know. But you just don’t know how your friends were really raised sometimes
Tell that child hey your mama may not yell at you in your house but in mine I will. Tell him the rules of your house and if he doesn’t behave he can’t come over and say it in front of their parents
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Strait up Say sorry he don’t want yo play because your child is mean and hurts him all The time.
I don’t blame him. What can i do to help, I will put him in time out if he hurts again. Anyone visiting has to follow House rulea or they cant visit. This is our hime, our safe space.
It’s ok to have boundries!
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If a kid is at my house they get treated like they’re mine and that includes disciplining them. And if their parent has a problem I’m going to handle them too. My house my rules and if you don’t like it bye 
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Speak up.
You protect your child. Tell the other child “We don’t hit, do not hit childs name again”
Or don’t allow them to play together, and say something to the friend, that they need to get their childs behavior in check or they wont be allowed around your child, because your child doesnt need to be getting hit.
If you havent already communicate your feelings with your friend, if she isnt listening when the child hits speak to the child in a calm friendly tone and explain that hitting isnt okay that it hurts and seperate them until the child calms down or says sorry
say something to your friends child whenever they hit your kid. i always correct bad behavior and would expect/hope others would do the same with my child
Don’t hang out together. And if she asks tell her the way you’d want to be told.
Take all of her toys. Put her in time out. My house my rules no hitting and no disrespecting others and their stuff.
Speak up even if your SO’s friends are in the room. Tell him/her not to be hitting & to be nice & if he/she can’t be nice they can’t come over to play anymore & if the parents have an issue with that tell them to teach their child not to act like that in someone else’s home or with other children
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Nope. I’d be telling them exactly why and not going around them again. Your child deserves better than to be around kids like that.
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Oh hell no. Mistreating YOUR child? You stand up and discipline the child, THEN the “friend”
Don’t let anybody treat your baby wrong
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I discipline with educated words of course.
Stop the playdates. I have this issue with neighbors. As soon as my kids are outside they’re right there taking toys, hitting them & me, screaming & being just plain disrespectful. Mentioned it to a mom. Got the “they’re just kids” excuse with the sassy bitch smile. So I tell them loudly you can’t play with my kids. Mom gets pissed 
oh well teach your kids to play right or entertain them yourself.
If your kids are at my house and think they can act up they are getting treated like my own kids. Depending on the deed, spanking and corner works wonders for lil brats!
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I always treat my children’s playmates as my own. Meaning I take care of them when they are in my home and explains them my rules and discipline them as how I discipline my own children. And if it doesn’t work I tell their parents straight when they pick up their child in a nice way of course. And I always tell my children as well that if they’re in someone else’s house they should follow the rules and discipline as well in that house.
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Assuming your child has already told him/ her to stop, now it’s your turn to firmly tell that child that ‘we don’t like hitting, it’s mean and hurts’. If s/he snatches a toy away from yours, without asking, it’s a firm ‘that’s not how we play’ and take the toy back… IF the toy belongs to your child and if the behaviour is in your home. If you’re elsewhere… time to collect your belongings and politely say farewell.
Of course you can always teach yours ‘an eye for an eye’… but then we’d all be blind 
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I would tell that child off
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Before you take it out on the child, like I see some people suggesting, sit down with the child’s parent and tell them how it is. Your child is your priority. Not someone else’s feelings. How does your s/o feel about your child getting hit?
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Refuse to let your kid hang out with that kid. Orrrr you could be petty and give the other kid a taste of their own medicine? When he hits your kid, your kid then has permission to hit back just as hard.
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I’ll tell at my friends kids if they act up. Idc. And when my youngest is old enough and decides to act up, she gonna yell at her like I did them lol. But shes also an active parent and would never allow behavior like that
My boyfriend’s best friends kids are so bad and such bad influences on our babies that we do not allow them to play together.
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Ummm I’ll discipline their kid if they are too scared to. I’ll be damned if someone comes into my home with their kid acting like that to my children. Disrespectful
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My ex sil would come to my house her kids were unruly to say the least, I would ask her once to make them to quit being mean to my kids, I then would tell her once, then I would step in and make them listen. I told her they were welcome at my house but if she wasn’t going to make them mind I would, she said go ahead they won’t listen to me, after about a week or two her kids was good as gold at my house, but still holy terrors at home( no discipline)
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I have this issue but it’s family. My house my rules. You put your hands on my kids I am putting you in the corner till your mommy/daddy come to get you. This little girl was 10 and my daughter 6. She hasn’t it done it since at my house or there’s. Not to my kids. I told her in front of mommy that if I catch her putting her hands on my kids again you will either swatted on the butt or in time out. You are older keeps hands to self. Mom threw a fit. Told my daughter to defend herself. Told her that isn’t a good idea. 20 minutes later her daughter has a bloody nose and mouth. Her mom mad. I looked at her and said you told my daughter to defend herself so she did. Bet your daughter won’t do it again. Got my daughter and told her I know she told you to do it but that wasn’t ok no TV for the weekend.
I just don’t let my kids play with others who behave this way. I’m a very understanding and patient person, but I expect children who come to my home to behave. I’ve had to tell some parents and kids that they aren’t welcome at my house anymore. If they can’t follow the same rules as my own children, they go home.
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My friends are allowed to discipline my children just like I can theirs. Sometimes as parents we miss things. I would rather my friend stop my kid from doing something bad or dangerous. Doesn’t hurt my feelings. They are my village and I’m part of theirs. Just like my parents. Shoot my mom will say something before I can sometimes lol.
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If the parent won’t do it you do that is if your comfortable with it I had to hold my breath because little girl pushed my daughter but her dad made her apologize and she hasn’t done it again
Use your words and enforce separate play. “Let’s use words to show how were feeling. Words work better than hitting. I’m feeling sad that you hit Timmy. Timmy feels sad that you hit him too. How do you feel? Angry? What can I do to help you feel calm/happy? Ok when Timmy is all done with that toy then you can play with it. Can you help me choose a toy to play with which one should I play with?” Use your calm down methods remember that children co-soothe. They feel adult emotions with a child’s ability to express and communicate. We take deep breaths, including the children. They’re having a hard time, not giving you a hard time. If you think their emotions are weapons your discipline comes from anger and that’s not ok.
I had to tell our close friends we could not go out to dinner with them anymore. We both had infants and 2 year olds. They allowed their 2 year old to run around the restaurant and we do not. They completely understood and promised not to allow it anymore. They kept their word and brought some coloring books. I was glad I spoke up.
Keep your child away. You can’t do anything about that child but you can prevent your child from being like that and or being treated like that.
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I’m all for not trying to parent someone else’s kid. However, I would not take my kid around that kid. If the friend asks why, be honest. Tell them straight up.
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I mean I will always tell my daughter if she gets a smack from another child she is allowed to defend herself and I’ll buy her ice cream for doing so. I don’t believe in that they’re just kids shit because kids absolutely can be cruel and that child needs to learn before one of yours ends up having enough of their shit and thumps them one.
Nothing not my child.
I maybe the odd one out yes I would not want the child hitting my child but the child is 3 years old they are just learning and don’t know how to deal with emotions and frustration just yet and with the child being only 3 he doesn’t understand he may to some extent but if the parents aren’t teaching him than he probably don’t know I’d take it up with the parents and let them know if they don’t do anything than maybe than step in and teach him yourself I honestly with him being that young is a good idea to just spank him how the heck that gonna teach him not to hit so I’d take it up with parents they need to teach him otherwise don’t have him around your kids usually kids that age when they do something like that you take them away from the situation and put them to sit and if there crying throwing fit because you put them n time out you wait till the calm down than you talk to them and explain that we don’t hit that hurts and not nice you have to consider age now if he was much older and already new better than yesterday a tap on a$$ wouldn’t hurt but he’s 3
Have ya kid hit his bad ass back it will stop period
Child may have issues like autism etc don’t go as often and protect your own child
Talk to your friend about it, but also their child. When they hit, explain to them that the behavior is not acceptable and you do not hit as a way of communicating. If your child is avoiding and the other child won’t leave them alone, tell that child “personal space. (Insert name here) doesn’t want to play right now, give space”. If the child’s mother doesn’t back you up and/or the child continues hitting and throwing things, let your friend know that you will not tolerate it and they need to deal with the behavior or you will not be having your kids around each other.
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I guess I would talk to the parent. If they didn’t stop their child I would stop mine from being in that circle.
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My first advice would be not to call said child “it” and if your child wish not to play with the other child thats ok. there is an age difference there but I would talk to your friend and tell them that their child hits yours while playing if they don’t get thier way and reassure your friends while its their choice how they parent you will have to remove your child till the younger one can be taught that its not ok to hit other that it hurts them and their feelings. while all children learn at there own pace I have a 3 year daughter and she understands completely that its not ok to hit does she like being told no or being Disciplined of course not but it needs to be taught. Good luck 
If the parent isn’t saying anything they’re probably just used to it and think nothing of it. Try speaking up, “please don’t throw toys, no hitting that hurts, etc” if you say it loud enough, the parent may catch on and start speaking up more.
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Tell your friend flat out either you do something about your childs behavior or we wont be coming around. Your child safety (physical and mental) is more important
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Unfortunately you can’t force another parent to discipline their child. But you can keep your child away from their child and if they ask why explain it’s because their child is mean to your child.
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Talk to your friend about it. If they are unwilling to discipline their child for hurting yours then they don’t need to bring their child around yours. Your child comes before a friendship.
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I’d quit inviting them over or going over to their place. When asked why, tell the truth.
So, when my oldest was 2 we were at the mall play area. Some child was pushing. Y son down the slides. The mom of the other child saw it happen and didn’t say anything. He did it again so I took matters into my own hands. I went over to the other child and told him what he is doing is not nice and if he can’t keep his hands off my child he needs to go somewhere else or be with his mom. Needless to say he listened and stopped shoving my kid. The mom mean mugged me the whole time. But we as parents need to stand up for our children. Stranger or friend always talk to the child then talk to the parent. If they can’t help then find new friends
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Is there reasons why this other child acts this way ect,autism because sometimes there is reasons for their behaviour
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I have a close friend that I rarely hang out with because of this, my hubby and I both get onto her kid if she doesn’t. You have to show your kid they have a voice and they should never be treated that way
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The ages between them are quite substantial at the moment. A three-year-old is a lot younger than a five-year-old in retrospect. It may not seem much, but it is. when you are concerned about your child and the child in question, call it out, and if the mum doesn’t tell the three-year-old ‘that’s not ok, be nice’ then you do, be understanding (your child was three years old once). if mum has a problem with that then you are right to call her your so-called friend.
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If it’s your house tell your friend all kids get disciplined the same way by you your house your rules! Other wise they ain’t welcome if the kid doesn’t act nicely.
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Any child around me gets treated like mine. Loved and disciplined. I will check your kid lol. You don’t like it take them home.
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I’d tell my child to stand up for themselves and hit back🤷♀️ I’d also tell the parents that if you don’t discipline your child, I gave my child permission to hit back if he/she is provoked or hit first.
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If someone spits at my child or hits I always just tell them not to do it.
“Hey no spitting!” Or “no hitting…” I won’t sit quietly while my child gets smacked. Parents usually catch on and correct. If my kid hits or something I correct right away too.
O no no. I wld be tellin them u either make him mind n respect others or take tht lil monster home n keep him there. Kids can be right down horrible if not corrected n im not one to put up with a child tht is like tht n even less tolerant of parents who let em by with it.
Talk to your friend if they don’t listen the only thing you can do as a parent is stop being friends with them. And when they ask why don’t sugar coat it. But also don’t be malicious.
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Tell them My child does not want to play with ur child because she’s hurting them.
Well it’s time to see if what you consider “close friends” are truly that. Speak to her “adultly” mainly b-cuz you are choosing ur baby first & foremost. If it’s not the result ur seeking, it’s time to unfriend that family. Noone close to you should make you feel nervous to speak to especially about her child’s behavior. My close friends & I have always aided each other b-cuz we knew that it will always take a village
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Just don’t take your child around that child
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I know this is a fan question did they put he or she in the message to u because a child is not an it
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Doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or boy.
The child is only 3, to be fair. But if I wasn’t happy I would be saying at the time to my child to hit back.
Talk to your friend about it.
Or just stop having play dates until she asks why.
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Set boundaries and set rules…real friends. Don’t do this…users do…
Tell them firmly that you don’t want your child around theirs because of their behavior. Plain and simple.
My house, my rules. No throwing, hitting, pushing, kicking or you get in trouble & if my “so called friend” didn’t like it, then they don’t need to come over.
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Don’t have play dates…simple as that… three is a hard age, not making excuses but if you don’t like how they are acting don’t be around them
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I wouldn’t parent another parents kid, that’s not your place. It’s THEIR child, not yours. If you don’t like the way the kid acts, then don’t invite them over. End of story. Problem solved. I just noticed the age gap here, your kid is five and the child in question is three. Three year olds hit sometimes. Three year olds have tantrums. Three year olds sometimes don’t want to share. That’s a NORMAL toddler. They are still learning to manage emotions and share at that age. Especially if they don’t have to share at home. The parent probably is new to this and doesn’t quite know what to do. You could try having a conversation with them and let them know their child won’t be allowed to play with yours if the mean behavior continues. Again, if they don’t like it, don’t invite them over anymore. Also, the child is not an “it”. Period.
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Tell your kid to hit back normally, hitting is not okay but in this context it is. My nephew had an issue with biting my son and finally my son had enough and bit him back. Immediately my son came to me and apologized for “biting bug” (what he calls his cousin) and showed me a big, purple bite mark on his shoulder from his cousin
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I teach my son to hit people back that hits him. Sometimes kids need the same treatment they dish out so they can see how other people feel. Also people know when their kids come to my house they will be disciplined the same as my kids
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This podcast if you want to listen says that researchers have seen a difference in how the mothers of kind kids teach the child in moments of hitting or not sharing.
Sounds like your friend is the example researchers give of mothers who do not raise kind kids
Listen to: Kindness Can Be Taught. Here’s How - Kindness Can Be Taught. Here's How : NPR One
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A.) Your child is 2 years older than the “problem” child, so to expect them to play fairly and without issue is honestly just ridiculous. Some 3 year olds hit and it is not always due to lack of “parenting”.
B.) If you feel she isn’t doing enough to stop the behavior, you can talk to her about it, but that’s pretty much your only option. If you can’t find a solution, stop the play dates until the 3 year old is more understanding.
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I will, and have had to, discipline a friend’s child if me and mines are around. I had a friend who didn’t discipline her son and if they were at my house, I will step in. I will not have a child acting up in my house. No I wouldn’t spank but I will firmly talk and take something away. Scream all you want. I’ll set you in a bedroom and you can sit there till you stop. If your friend has a problem, then they can leave.
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Shes probably having a hard time with her child tbh, but I would stop the play dates anyway
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Is it at your house or theirs? If it’s at your house put the child in time out. If it’s their house there’s really not much you can do other then talk to the child and ask them to stop.
I’ve told all my friends & even complete strangers that I will Mom every child, whether they’re mine or not. If they won’t parent their child then I will.
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Now pronto otherwise they forget easily.
- If a kid seems I immediately say to child (what did you say)
- ( if the cry i say what are u singing)
- ( if the bit I ask the one she bit bit back)
- If parent gets up set 2 things get mad or happy. Or realize our kid needs discipline
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I would teach the 3 yr old and the parent what behaviors will not be tolerated in my home or towards my child. Correct him/ her the same way you do your 5 yr old. As long as you are fair that parent shouldn’t have a problem with it. After all, it is your home and your child ,and the lack of parenting, on their part, can corrupt your child if the 3yr old keeps getting away with that behavior.
If this parent is really a good friend then they shouldn’t be surprised.
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Then they wouldn’t be around my child
Mind your own when it comes to your own child… you will have all you can handle with worring about one child let alone worried about what another child is doing. Doesnt matter what the other child is doing it doesnt matter
Stop letting that friend come over. All you can do is control what goes on in your house.
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At 20 mths my daughter is no push over. That would be a boxing match and I would be the referee.
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A child called it? Can’t get over the fact a child is called it.
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Teach your kid how to punch . . . . .
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Talk to that child, children will compete for adult attention. TALK TO THAT CHILD! Also time outs!
Why is that any of your business anyway
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I’d discipline their child if they won’t. Or I’d kindly let them know that unless were kid free, we can’t hang out.
I’m sorry but close friend or not if it was my child being hit I would be telling there child please don’t do that it’s not nice and if it continues then they won’t be allowed to play with my child or there toys and if mum doesn’t like it she can take her child home end of story
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Are they not disciplining or not disciplining your way? That’s my first question. Is this child verbal? Has your child done anything to instigate or provoke the 3 year old?
I’ve got two kids a 3 year old and a 7 year old. I’m familiar with the dynamics between preschool aged children and school aged children. So while hitting isnt ok, prevention for that age group (particularly if 3 year old isnt verbal) is every bit as important as discipline.
It’s also important to note that what works for one child discipline wise may not work for the next and age appropriate discipline a 5 year old may not look the same for a 3 year old.
I’m not saying your wrong, but giving you advice on what to do yourself theres just not enough information here.
Don’t go there anymore
If they won’t do anything I would. Im not just gonna sit by and let a child hurt and bully my child.