My spouse called me a bad word behind my back: Thoughts?

Have you ever caught your SO calling you a name behind your back? We got into an argument and later in the car he called me but i rejected the call, i guess he didnt realize it went to voicemail and he didnt hang up. I could hear him on my vm talking to himself and he essentially called me a b word. Hes never said it to my face before and this is the first time ive caught him saying it behind my back. We’ve been together 7.5yrs. How did you let it go and move on from it? How long did it take you?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My spouse called me a bad word behind my back: Thoughts?

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Behind your back not good. To your face is a little better but still not right.

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He was talking to himself. Id let it go.

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Have you ever called him names.

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My step daughter had to tell me my fiancé called me an asshole behind my back. I feel your pain!!

Personally I would probably play the voice mail for him … and see his reaction.

We all get mad and frustrated. And if you are saying you’ve never called your boyfriend/spouse or whatever a name behind their back your lying to yourself

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essentially called you a bitch? What does that mean? I mean…were you being a bitch? Seriously lol this is kid stuff. Move on

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Oh no! Not the b word!!! Whatever will you do with yourself after this??? Better leave him!!! :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

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Have you tried counseling??? I would play the voice-mail for him. Let him explain??

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Are you for real? I think there’s bigger things to stress about than your husband calling you a bitch in the heat of the moment behind your back.

Nobody calls me that and stays in contact with me. He’d be single

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Wow leave his butt right now. Smh

I mean he didn’t say it to your face :woman_shrugging:t3: if my partner is frustrating me sometimes I’ll mutter asshole under my breathe or if he doesn’t answer the phone and it’s important and I’m frusterated I’ll mutter or say things to myself out of frustration. I wouldn’t necessarily say he did it behind your back because he was alone. Would I be a little upset hearing that left on a voicemail? Probably, but as long as he treats you with respect in person and in your day to day lives I would probably just ask him to apologize and move on and not dwell on it much. We all say things we don’t mean when we are frusterated and alone, sometimes without even realizing it :woman_shrugging:t3:

Seriously who hasn’t called there SO something when they are mad like really ur over reacting I think

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:rofl: Hell I call myself the b* word at times. He was probably frustrated, I am sure you have thought of some not nice names at times as well. Let it go

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I’m sorry, but this made me giggle a bit. Lord, I’d hate to see what you thought about some of the stuff my husband and I have called eachother :joy:

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It’s not that big of a deal I do it all the time when I’m pissed at my man I’m sure he does the same lol

Y’all are Savage :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::pray::fire::rofl::rofl: let’s be friends :pray::rofl:

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The things I say to myself about my lovely, amazing husband when I am mad LOL… the B word is a compliment compared to what comes out of my mouth :joy:

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I mean I’ve called my husband some pretty mean shit behind his back when I was pissed off. He’s allowed to vent to himself. Better saying it to yourself than to the other person in the heat of the moment.

He was venting to himself seriously like u don’t vent??

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This is a joke right!?!?!? :woman_facepalming:

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I think you should just let it go. It’s not like it was a conversation with his mates and he was bad mouthing you. He called you a bitch, that is so tame and it was to himself. You rejected his call after an argument, what if he did it to you? Would you not have called him a name.

Imagine policing what one is allowed to talk to themselves :joy: grow up

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If u think this is the first time hes called u that to himself ur crazy!!

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Wow a grown adult saying their spouse called them a bad word :joy: I’ve been called a b**** plenty of times by my spouse it don’t bother me i know i can be one.

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At least he didn’t say it to someone else.

If it were me (background: my husband has never called me out of my name) I would be more worried about why he said it and not that he said it.

Find out what upset him. Talk it out. Make it right. And then set a boundary. No name calling. We are intelligent adults that can appoint an emotion to a situation instead of appointing insults.

1 week into dating my husband we talked about boundaries. His has, from day 1, always been no name-calling. No disrespect. It’s a total deal-breaker for him. 9 years together and we’ve never done it. I was a terrible name-caller in my previous relationships but he set the boundary and I respected him.

Maybe he needs to know it’s your boundary and you can just move on. 7.5 years is a FANTASTIC foundation.

Good luck.

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Eh he was just venting. It’d be different if he was saying it to other ppl or to you.

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Are you serious right now?
Like for real for real?

You’re kidding, right? 7.5 years and you’ve NEVER called your husband a “bad name” behind his back? I call bs :joy:

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Ha ha I’m queen bitch. Anytime my husband says I can be a bitch I correct him and say queen bitch. Being called a bitch isn’t really that serious in my opinion.

Bitch is nothing. He was venting his frustrations. He doesn’t say it to your face because 90% probability that he respects you. If thats the worst he calls you. Confront him. Show him yhe voicemail. I say get over it. However im not like most. This might be detrimental to you. Thats also fine. This is just my opinion.

If u were being a “ b word” then own it and move on. If u have been married that long and not wanted him to step on a Lego in the middle of the night then I will change my whole statement! Confront the issues in hand and make up.

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I mean

We all get mad.
Are you 12?

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The B word, I’d brush it off… now the C word nah we’d have issues :sweat_smile::rofl: lmao but honestly that’s the least worst thing he could call you lol

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I honestly can’t with some of these posts​:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Hell no I would confront him and play the voice-mail for him. Sorry but your husband the person who is supposed to love you, care for you a respect you should NOT be calling you names like that. Same goes for wife calling her husband names. Your spouse is supposed to be your partner in life and calling you a b*t** is so disrespectful.

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Damn I’m sure some of these comments kinda hurt…in my relationship of 13+ years…we have been through many trails but name calling is childish and it hurts no matter what is said. I’m sorry, he was probably just b****ing to himself but I totally understand how it hurts.

Is this for real? :skull::laughing:

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Call him one back. If I’m one then your one for calling me one. LOL I just never had a problem going for it. I can talk to. I have no problem dealing with it.

If you’ve been in a relationship for 7.5 years and think your partner has never called you a name you’re in dreamland. :rofl::rofl:

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I’ve called my husband much worse!:woman_shrugging:t3:

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You rejected a call from your husband so what do u expect!?

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Shyla Manns IMAGINE :joy:

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Girl…7.5 years and this is the most upsetting thing for you? He didn’t call you it to your face and by the sounds of it wouldn’t, so why be so upset about him having a little vent in the privacy of his car.

Get over it

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Have you ever called him a name when you were frustrated or even thought about it? Just let it be and move on. There’s a whole lot of worse things he could’ve said besides the b word. Oh yeah, and since he married you, that makes you the pick of the litter. Tell him to get it right. :rofl:

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Is this real life? :flushed:

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I’m surprised it took 7yrs lol sorry not sorry :joy::joy::joy::joy:

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He was venting to himself… like you’ve never called him a name behind his back!

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It’s called venting. He’s allowed to have thoughts. As long as he doesn’t actually call you then to you or other people he’s allowed to vent.

Girl I call my man names all the time when I’m mad and we don’t even argue really, we do occasionally get on each other nerves. :joy: I would just let it go, at least he’s not calling you out of your name in front of people

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My husband has never called me a name in our 15 years together, to my face. If he did happen to say it to himself, who cares? I call him an asshole to myself… It’s not disrespectful. He’s not saying it to you, and he’s not saying it to other people. He shouldn’t be reprimanded for saying it when he thought he was alone. :heart:

First world problems

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My husband has mumble called me a bitch and I spoke loud and clear that he will not call me that to my face. Now if he does it behind my fact then oh well.

I call my SO names behind his back daily😂

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He was venting…don’t act like you’ve never done it.

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This has to be a fake post…and all these comments “my husband has never called me out my name or vice versa” like fr…you have never said OK dumbass or your an idiot or quit being grouchy or you’re acting like an ass etc even jokingly? What world do you live in? I must be a real B!!! :rofl::rofl:

Tell us the whole story. What did YOU do that he called you the B word and why did you reject his call.

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Kinda hard to say it to you since you didn’t answer. He probably also wouldn’t have had that reaction had you answered. Everyone is a B if they’re purposely ignoring a call

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Girl I call my man names all the time when I’m mad and we don’t even argue really, we do occasionally get on each other nerves. :joy: I would just let it go, at least he’s not calling you out of your name in front of people

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call him a bad name to his face. do unto others, etc.

This isn’t a problem
Move on with ur life.
You are NOT perfect; it’s a stock I’m sure… But nope, ur not lol

He was venting to himself… I don’t see a big problem with it.

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I mean…if someone is petty and rejected a call…I’d probably call them a “b word” too🤷‍♀️ js

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Get over it!!! We are women and we are bitches if he don’t say it under his breath from time to time has even seen the real you???

This is what youre whining about ffs :rofl::rofl: i call myself that at least 30 times a day

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You’ve been together 7 1/2 years and he’s never called you a name before? And you accidentally heard him talking to himself? Just let this one go.

Seriously, you just gotta let this one go. We’ve all cussed out our loved ones in our heads before or to ourselves when we’re angry even if we didn’t mean it.

Every guy I’ve been with has cussed me out all the time in arguments. I’ll never be with someone again who does that. You have to have self respect for yourself, but also know when you might be over reacting a bit to something.

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Actually most of us are bitches sometims. Get over it

I don’t believe you’re human if you’ve never muttered under your breath or in your head about folks like this lol. Only difference is he got caught lol. I feel like you’re just looking for reasons to stay mad. Stay focused on the real reason you were arguing - if there was one - and work through that together when you’ve both cooled down.

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Communicate. You ignored him. Does he have a point for regularly calling you a B? Communicate. You didnt want to talk to him. You guys are building walls?

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Shot my husband would say it to my face. But I will also tell him when he’s being a @$$. I mean he didn’t do it when anyone was around. So I would just let it go. My husband and I have been together 22yrs married 19. If I let everytime he called me a name make me mad or upset I wouldn’t be married.

I thought this was going in the “he told some girl at work I was a b word” and I was about to get mad because that is super disrespectful but you’re mad he was venting to himself in the car. And you’ve never called him a name?! Girl please.

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My husband and I call each other that for fun lol. But all humor aside I’m shocked you didn’t hear it sooner hell I know I can be one

Idk were you being a bitch

Oh my lord this has got to be a joke :flushed:. Your trying to say you’ve never called him anything ever behind his back. Girl get over it and grow a back bone cuz you sound dumb right now

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Once his fault twice you allowed it.

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Correct him, “The Only Bitch that gaf” that past tense shit kills them😂

Uh…are you an adult? Like seriously he is allowed to feel anyway he needs to in order to get through whatever bull$hit you put him through that upset him so bad, :person_shrugging: but honestly all women are Biotches…so why fight it??? I embrace my inner B when she makes an outward appearance and I’d quite frankly be upset if my husband did not acknowledge it when he saw it too… :joy:

Seven and a half years and you have never called him a bad name? At least he vented to himself. Get over it

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I greatly admire your expectations of his respect toward you. Its rare to find anymore. Don’t settle for less. Be more alert with him and follow your heart. Gods blessings to you both.

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You sound exhausting tbh

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Call my husband names when I’m angry often, whether it’s to his face or not…my husband has done the same. We’ve been together almost 11 years, married almost 6 years.

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I vent to myself all the time. It’s not like it was to his buddies or something. Rejecting his call didn’t help. Be an adult about it.

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I’d let it go. It was his ‘private’ time (he thought) and people are allowed to be angry, vent, and talk shit when they feel stressed or angry. Hell, I curse my guy out to myself when he pisses me off.

I don’t think you should police how he feels or his anger when he didn’t say it to you, to hurt you, or when he said it in the heat of the moment TO HIMSELF.

Also. sometimes I can be a bitch.

:rofl::rofl::rofl: oh no lol sorry hav to laugh if I was u I would just get over it one bad name in 7.5yrs is pretty great call him one back behind his back then u might feel better seriously tho let it GO!!!

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Every last person has called their other half a name when they’ve been irritated at them, behind their back. We don’t mean it, it’s just what comes out when we’re angry. Hence why it’s behind their backs or in our heads. We don’t wanna hurt their feelings or cause worse fights, but we’re all human and have emotions.
You’re fragile but you’ll get over it. If you were acting like a betch, he’ll think of you as a betch for a moment. That’s not him calling you a bad name, insulting you, or talking behind your back.

Let it go. Get over it. Figure out a way to heal your trauma ( :laughing: ). The world will continue on lol.

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He best say it behind my back and not to my face cuz my hands are rated E for everyone :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Talk to him. Literally. Communication is the key.

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Unless you can honestly say you have never uttered a hurtful word under your breath at someone, let it go.

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I mean clearly he is a keeper. By the sounds of it from these comments and from my own experience there aren’t many men who respect their wife enough not to call them names like that. I do think it’s rude for people to act like you’re wrong for being upset. I mean I would be upset if I was with a man for 7.5 years and he called me a name, it’s not something you’re use to so it’s going to sting. Just talk to him if it’s not a normal thing.

Are u Even Married LoL I’m JK I mean when my husband does something to piss me I’m like this MF etc lol I’m sure he does the same :rofl: if this is the most harsh and upsetting he’s done behind your back I would definitely let it go besides u started it by rejecting his call I’m JS on a serious note if u are really upset just have a talk with him

I think it would be worse if he called you a bitch to your face but he was just muttering to himself ….

Don’t be a bitch :woman_shrugging:

This comment section makes me so sad.
You should NEVER call you S/O anything bad. People are so use to it nowadays that they think it’s normal when it is not!
Your not over exaggerating and I would honestly bring it up to him and just say why it bothers you.
I personally would be so mad if my husband did this to me.

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Mel Whitestyles Chenise Pike :rofl:

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He said it to himself not a group of people or even an individual.

I probably would’ve said the same thing especially since you intentionally declined the call, he could have been calling to talk about the argument & make things right & you were to stubborn to answer & act like an adult :woozy_face:

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Hahahahahahahaha haha, I’m sorry that is hilarious. He called you a “bad word” and you’re really taking it this far? I guess I’m just used to bad words. Shit, hope your relationship gets normal soon.

You’ve been together 7.5 years and you think this is the only time he’s called you that? :joy:

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I would called him back…and as soon as he answered :speaking_head: you ah bitch… click… phone on DND​:woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging::rofl::rofl: