My spouse comes home to play video games: Advice?

Once a gamer always a gamer. Lol. I been since pinball and t.v. tennis. Run a hot bath and go from there. He loves you. Playing games don’t change that.

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Yeah hes a user. F that. I’m petty so I’d straight up stop doing the chores that benefit him because he seems to think they’re not that hard he can do them himself then!

I’d be sitting him down and being like this is how it is. This is what I feel like needs to change. Let him express what he feels like you may need to change about yourself (if anything) nd come to an agreement. Yall need quality time. And if you’re messaging him ffs during the day and that annoys him? Smh idk. This just seems like a lot of him doing the minimum. You’re literally doing all the work as a parent which is like 12 jobs in itself. An actual job and going to school. F anyone that thinks that’s not good enough. Just being a SAHP is a lot. Good luck OP. I really hope you can figure something out with him. And if not do what’s gonna make you happy and what’s best for you and your child.

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Omg I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. He’s disrespecting you, and you deserve so much better. You deserve an equal partner. Be blunt with him about how hard you work and will not put up with this anymore. If he doesn’t step up, leave.

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One day you will wake up and wonder wtf you’re doing with your life. The little girl you are raising will see mummy doing everything for someone who leaves for 8 to 10 hours a day and think that’s normal. She will see Daddy sitting around and not engaging with her and think this is normal. And more than likely he will justify this by saying “I’m providing for my family, doing what I need to do”…
You know what’s normal??? A father and partner who is there, whether he works 10 hour days or not, who spends time with his child and wife. A man who’s present when his family need him the most, time is more valuable than anything. That’s normal!! Yep time out is also normal, a moment to unwind from work. It’s not an excuse to sit on your ass and expect to be waited on.
You will wake up one day, let’s hope it’s not to late. Take that man aside, put your big girl pants on and ask him… is this how you want you little girls future husband to treat her!! Tell him what you need from him, if he shuts you down and won’t hear you… you have all the answers you need.

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No its unfair. Youre working to, you both need a balance. Its also classified as abuse after a while. Civilly fight to fix it or leave. I stayed for too long in a similar situation, thankfully left before it was too late. Im not the fighting type, i dont even argue. Now everything is better off in our lives.

Mick his ass out tell him he can learn to take care of himself

None of what was described sounds like a partner to me…

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Definitely toxic my husband always tells me babe I’m gonna play for a min 10 mins later he sees me bored ends the game and comes to cuddle with me and tell me how much he loves me go get one of those nd fk that dude I divorced a guy like that

Sounds like he’s getting time to unwind and you’re not. That’s not how a partnership is supposed to work. He should get time to relax but not all night every night.

Parenting means no video games till the babies are asleep :100:

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Men or boys use video games, workouts or ect as outlets for stress. Maybe he’s stressed at work? I’m not trying to find an excuse for his behavior. I am just trying to understand why he would behave this way. My husband plays video games when he gets home from work but he does spend a couple of hours with me and our son. Sounds like he might not know how to balance family and his stress relief. Make time to sit down and talk to him. Don’t try to sugar coat the situation, be straight forward because most men even my husband need it straight forward or else they’re not really gonna understand the whole situation. I think some men are pretty oblivious to situations like this. Just my opinion. Regardless If he is the one making money or busting his ass at work he still needs to have time for his family. You bust your butt at work/home, school and still have time for family. You need to make that very clear to him. It’s not fair to you for him to belittle you or for him to treat you like that but maybe he doesn’t realise hes doing it either? And again not trying to side with him or anything like that. My husband sometimes makes VERY blunt comments and my family takes things very personally so I have to go behind him and rescramble his words and word it all correctly for a way that they don’t get offended.

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I see this all the time you either go with it or move on without him but at least he works to support the ones I know dont have jobs barely helps with kids yet the mama is doing everything and only asks for just even an hour of quality time a day but some how the PlayStation is more intriguing

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Finish school and leave him. He sounds like another kid and not a partner.

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First of all, your post is really confusing. A lot of the responses here are talking about how your husband doesn’t take care of things at home etc but I think you were talking about wanting intimacy/quality time with your husband? Perhaps attention and such?
If this is so, it is easier to be straightforward to your husband what you want instead of “expecting” him to just know how you feel and reciprocate. Men also have the need to unwind and often this involves games etc. it doesn’t matter what they choose to do with their time, I think you both deserve some off time. However, if you want some quality time, find a good time to tell him you need an hour or two put aside for just you two, no phones, maybe to watch a movie or so on. It’s not hard but don’t expect him to put down everything for you every single minute of the day. It honestly sounds exhausting. I understand you don’t have many friends or hobbies but it sounds like you’re in great need of one. It is unhealthy to expect your husband to be responsible for your happiness or fulfill your needs in that area. You deserve to find something that makes you happy apart from your husband.
If your post is about how your responsibilities between you both are unequal, that is something you both need to discuss. Instead of complaining or getting upset about it, if you need some time for self-care, just do it. Some men will take advantage of you let them because no one wants to do the “easy work” like folding laundry or taking care of the kids, just don’t give them the chance to say no.

Definitely unfair. Nothing about him says “partner” at all.

Use him to get your schooling done if you need the financial security, siphoning off money to get you and your daughter a safe place to land. You earned it by being maid, cook, and nanny. Hand him divorce papers once you finish school. Do not have any more children till you’ve found your freedom

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My husband is the same way… I sympathize with you :unamused:

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Yes and no. It’s a release for him. Be gentle

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That’s his way to unwind from his day. He could be at the bar or out cheating. But he’s not. I gave my man a special gaming corner that he can come home to and battle his daily struggles out. He works a very stressful job and supports us. After I got on board and supported him, it actually helped his well being and our overall relationship.

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Sounds like oops the cord/ remotes to his gaming system somehow got lost …weekends included !
Stop saying he works and you" just ". That’s why he can play his games because you’re doing everything else

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Had this happen to me, he slowed pulled away and eventually cheated before breaking it off. You should do what makes you happy because you can only control how you respond. Once you are in a good place emotionally then maybe see if he is willing to take a night or two off. He does sound stressed but you can’t control how he reacts to stress. Take your daughter for walks and play and try not to think too hard about whats going on. Keep yourself open to communication but be patient, men can be incredibly slow and dense.

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Hahaha, if you say it feels like he is belittling you cause you dont work full time and make more money…guess what he is…you two are in a relationship ship with a child. You are going to school to get a better education to help better your family while taking care of your child plus cooking cleaning and working on the weekends…clearly he does not value you or your hard work… I can understand coming home to unwind and play a game for a bit…I do sometimes and so does my husband…but he will say or ask if it’s alright if he plays for an hr or so or if I need help with anything first or when he is done…he spends time with me and his kids plus runs around does errands for the house… may be take some time for yourself…cook supper have it ready for when he comes home eat together and then tell him you are leaving for a while because like him you also need time to unwind from the day…its not healthy to not do things for yourself …even if you go for a walk or take a long hot bath…you both need to discuss what you both want out of this relationship and work towards it…maybe set aside one /2 days for him to cook maybe talk about having a date night once a week.dont have to be expensive just quality time together a walk grab a coffee sit and watch a movie together cook a meal together…and if he still doesn’t want to try and work with you maybe it’s time to stop catering him and move on in your life without him…he is your other half …should be praising and help build you up not break you down…

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My husband comes home and usually I give him dinner cause I know he’s hungry and he always asks if myself and the kids have ate and if we haven’t then that’s his first priority is helping me get the kids settled or maybe one of them needs help finishing up their homework while I finish fixing up everyone’s plates, and if there are dishes in the sink and I tell him I have to stay up to get them done he tells me to not worry about it and wants us all to snuggle up with him until he falls asleep. We are a team and if each of us doesn’t do our part NOTHING gets accomplished.

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Taking care of a child is a full time job alone.

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Give gaming a try it’s something you both can do together but separate at the same time. It is bonding time for my husband and I, and I enjoy it. I agree it’s a stress relief and although you sound very busy as well (been there), we all need time for ourself and differently than others. He may be getting agitated because to him it may come off as nagging. Maybe give yourselves some space whether it means less texting throughout the day or just giving space when you’re both home. I’m not trying to say you’re wrong in any way, just giving an outside opinion especially not knowing his side.

I can’t even we are focusing on just the video games in this situation. If it was just the video games and everything else was okay… I would say there is some leeway on what she could do. But this man is straight up belittling her… Disregarding the “work” she does at home and to better thier family because he works full time during the week? Thr fact that all she wants is a text before he leaves work…is an issue? Come on…honestly. Its takes such little effort to be appreciative of your partner. My SO and I text good morning and how are you every morning because he leaves for work earlier than I have to be up… We text throughout the day and then before he leaves for work its… Can I stop to get you anything on the way home? Or if he knows I have had a stressful day with our kids and my daycare kids…he offers simple things…do you want to go shower? Want to run to the store/gas station? He helps me get our childrens dinner plates ready and doesn’t take one bite till I’m sitting with him. And then thanks me for cooking…sometimes its a big meal and sometimes its hot dogs and Kraft. And this gets recriprocated back to him… Hey you want to go lay down early tonight. I know you had a long day and your back hurts. Or take it easy on Saturday and play your video games. Appreciation is a 2 way street. I dont think she is asking a lot to be appreciated and shown some attention.

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Been through this, he is belittling you. MOVE ON

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If it is too much for you finish school start working full time and do what makes you happy it can’t revolve around him since that’s his peace you gotta find yours

There should definitely be a time limit on games, like an hour a day at the most, yes I’m dead serious :joy::woman_shrugging:t3: if he loves you and ur daughter then he will agree

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My husband use to be the same way. But i had a heart to heart about 10 years ago with him and he would only play video games after i went to bed. I would use that time as me time. We both work full-time back then. We now have a 6 year old Daughter and i am a stay at home mom with no friend so i definitely understand your feelings of being alone and just wanting your best friend (him) to pick you over video go . For my i had to understand his love language . Just because he seemed liked he picked video games over me that wasn’t the truth. He works hard to give us the word. My husband gets up at 1am for work m-f and most of the time doesn’t make it home till 4:30. He gets a window of 2 hours to shower, eat dinner and spend time with us. So it doesn’t bother me that on Friday and or Saturday night he plays video games after our daughter goes to bed. If my daughter has behaved that week we have girls night in our bedroom. So my 2 cents is talk and be supportive and just come up with maybe a suggestion like maybe once a week or whatever you 2 have a movie night and then all other time he does whatever.

What is he doing during the hours he gets off work and when he comes home? Or am I reading that wrong?

Make a date night once a week

Tell him. Don’t be scared. He will either contribute more then financially or he can lose you because you deserve better than that. Stop doing anything for him. Either he changes or you get the strength to leave because some men can’t and won’t change

Gaming spouses arent the problem. It’s disconnected spouses that are the problem. You could replace gaming with any other hobby and he would still be neglecting his wife and child. He ain’t it, sis! Move on!

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I’d smash the game system and tell him if he doesn’t want quality family he can have quality alone time while you pack your bags and bail. My husband used to pull that shit and I nipped it in the but because as a parent you don’t get to clock out. Period. Tell him to grow up

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You’re not in the wrong for wanting to spend quality time with your hubby. With that being said you said you don’t really have friends or talk to other ppl on a normal basis. How about talk to him and explain that you want some quality time and also start trying to get out of your shell more and meet new ppl. If he doesn’t want to do that then focus on bettering yourself and doing things that make you happy! Go for walks with your daughter or hikes. Find a place does little arts and crafts things you can do. Like painting? When you start doing these things and back away from talking to him, it’s going to either make him want to interact with you more or he’s going to just pull away more but you will know where you stand and at that point you can make a decision on whether the relationship is worth keeping

My husband said you need a new girlfriend… But in all seriousness you’re his free housekeeper and nanny. And you deserve respect for all you do. Don’t walk…run…

That’s not a relationship.Thats a station ship.Tell him what you need .an if hes not going to participate in the relationship .Then why you in.Why are we accepting the bare minimum. When you’re in a relationship that takes two people. Quality time, help around the house, help with the children, you don’t want to do any of that why are you in a relationship.Let him know this is not what you want.He either participate and be a part of the relationship. Or you need to move on.Your not his house keeper or the nanny

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Tbh, as a gamer it always makes me feel weird and ashamed that i game.
I don’t think this has a alot to do with gaming, I feel like it’s more about what he’s saying to you.
Tell him how you feel ask him to make some time for you.
Edit: DO NOT throw it away or break it!
It won’t fix anything if you do that it’ll just cause more problems and wont actually fix anything, on top of that do you want him to spend 500$ on a new one.
Also you can always try gaming with him it can be super fun:)

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Trash. I’m a gamer, my husband is a gamer, we’ve got two kids. I stay home, am a student. He works full time. He STILL comes home to do chores and housework. I ain’t a maid.

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I knew mine was a gamer from day one. I started playing too. Sometimes we play together, sometimes I sit in my chair by him and watch tv while he plays his computer and I’m content with that. But from how you make it sound, he doesn’t enjoy spending any time with you and your daughter. Mine makes a point to watch a few episodes of something with me while we eat. Or he will stop and rub my feet. We work at the same place but opposite shifts one of us is almost always gone during work hours and we share all parenting duties. Idk. He should appreciate what you do. If he can’t, you will be happier being alone. Sounds like you’re already alone as it is.

I don’t allow all that in my home… So I don’t have these problems.

…ok fyi no man -love him or not-should ever be making you feel less of a partner because if who works more or does more…it’s team effort to have a family and stable home…first off he should be so lucky you are home with your kids and not having to drag them to daycare…I stay at home with my husb kids (we’ve had them just us -no biomom- since they were 2&3, now 11&12 so i am the MOM but still) and my husb is the sole provider…I cook I clean I do the finances, shopping, laundry, school work, literally everything a household needs to run smoothly…on his days off and every day after work he plays his games til his eyes close…I honestly don’t mind as much as he’s not doing anything with bitches or money or crack and if that’s his favorite hobby I feel he deserves it…also, he has NEVER looked at me and said nothing about what I do or don’t do in the house…there’s been days I hadn’t done the dishes or dried the load of clothes I washed days ago, there’s days I don’t cook and guess what, he will do it without a single word of discourse because were a fkn team…talk to him and tell him you need his attention and if you have already and it’s gotten no where, put your foot down and decide if it’s worth the effort…

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My daughters dad used to do that. It got so bad I ended up leaving him a year ago. He did this for 3 years. She is now 2 almost 3.

A grown man that spends his evenings playing video games is nothing more than an overgrown adolescent.

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Fuck.that.shit👏🏼 sorry. I had to say it. I go to school work 2-3 days a week have 3 kids, my husband is in the military works 10-12 hours in a day runs his business (painting) and is getting his masters. We share all house work, school work for the kids, and we BOTH take turns planning date nights, it’s def not perfect but you should never settle for less!

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Seriously… a real man has tool boxes and tackle boxes Not xboxes…you’re being played !

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Good luck :pensive: literally in the same situation except I don’t go to school. Idk how you do it.

I set my ex’s tv on fire. There is NO excuse for shitty parenting, half-assed relationship investments, or “I work more than YOU” bullshit! Cancel the internet and sell the gaming system! Since he ‘makes more money’ he can afford child support!

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Please don’t do smash his game.

That being said, get him aside and talk to him. Tell him everything you’ve said here. Ask him to please not interrupts and to just listen. If after this nothing changes and he still talk down to you, well… I can’t tell you to go on strike and only fo for you and the kids. I also can’t tell you to start taking you days and leave the kids with him while you go enjoy a milkshake at Chick-fil-A or spend a few minutes at the mall by yourself while he deals with the kids by himself. I also most DEFINITELY cannot tell you the next time he is condescending to you to say VERY firmly “Hey! I am your spouse/wife/husband and you WILL treat me with respect. You may work out of of the home but i work too. You are an adult. Act like it. You have kids. I am your spouse. I am not your maid, your housekeeper, your cook and certainly NOT your babysitter. However, if you don’t think me staying home with the kids is anything, I will be more than happy to put them in daycare and find a job. Then we both will be working fulltime and we both will be sharing the load. Got it? And this is the last time we will be having this discussion.”

I can’t tell you to do any of that but I can tell you this, you need to nip this in the bud in a way where there won’t be any resentment and you get what you need. And stat!

He sounds like a child. Tell him how you feel, if it continues then I’d rethink the relationship

Honestly, with my husband we have come to a compromise. He works all day everyday except for few weekends. When he gets off work he takes 10-15 minutes to unwind before we figure out dinner. Whether I’m cooking or picking up dinner he watches our oldest. I usually keep the baby in the kitchen with me or she rides with to pick up food. Both of them after his long day tend to overwhelm him. He didn’t say anything, but I noticed over time. I vocalized that if he couldn’t play certain rated games in front of the 5 year old he could wait until he goes to bed. He eats with us and then while I clean up dinner he watches TV with kids. We text mildly while he’s at work. He’s worked long shifts for over 10 years now. He has worked into a position with a ton of stress and responsibilities. If video games are how he destresses I don’t take that away from him. However, he was not thrilled that I went back to work minimally part time. I work at the movie theater which is why I watch closely to ratings and content with my children. I work a few nights a week for a couple of hours. I worked hard to become management and he knows I enjoy my job. We have an unspoken compromise system in place. It was very give and take but it works 99% of the time. I get very overloaded after having children all day everyday. It wears me down and can tell. We learned that he didn’t know how to help and I didn’t voice what I needed. Long explanation but basically I’d have a good talk about what each of you need without losing the balance :slight_smile:

the fact alone that you a. have no friends to speak of and b. feel like you may be asking too much is evidence to me that you’re being gaslit. i cannot even imagine thinking this behavior is remotely okay. you’re being manipulated and he fucking sucks.

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A man will do what you allow him to do. And he will continue to do so because you allow it. You need to stand up to him and speak to him the same way he speaks to you. He definitely isn’t going to like it but don’t back down. The fact that he is belittling you isn’t good at all. Those are all red flags and I would either give him an ultimatum and tell him what you don’t like or just up and leave him. You have your daughter to think about. She sees everything! I have 3 girls myself and I’d be dammed if I stayed with my husband if he was treating me like this. Hope things get better for you!

Leave. You are basically a single parent. Hes a self entitled child and little hope of changing. If he doesn’t appreciate your presence, let him deal with your absence. You and your child will be happier for it.

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I broke up with my baby daddy for this. Hardest decision of my life. Woke him up though and life has changed for the better.

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Talk to him about a compromise maybe even try marriage counseling but if he won’t put in the work or consider your feelings then maybe its time to leave him you shouldn’t be a single mother when you have a partner and your partner should never belittle you or make you feel less than you don’t want your daughter to grow up seeing that and thinking its acceptable or normal

Give him time, he is maturing. Just make sure you tell him your wants and needs. When my husband and I got married, I came up with a rule that he could only play games after I went to sleep. It worked !

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Listen if my husband was into playing video games he wouldn’t be my husband video games are a deal breaker for me !

People that sit around playing video games are fucking stupid sorry not sorry especially when you have kids to raise

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I went through this with my ex and tried talking to him on multiple occasions about this and it never changed ever. Relationships aren’t perfect but everybody deserves to feel loved and this issue was causing him to lose jobs left and right. Not to mention he didn’t take care of the kids what so ever and would go as far as to literally scream at me if dinner wasn’t done on time. Leaving him was the best decision I ever made.

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Gaming can be great if it’s a shared hobby.

The real problem isn’t the gaming as much as lack of time. Work can be rough and very stressful.

People really need time for work, for relaxation from work, and then family time!

If you take away from his relaxation—then he’ll resent you. If you take away from his work time—then be prepared to live with less money.

Ideally the two of you would share the same hobby for relaxation, so that you two can get a lot of quality time there!

—-

One thing most people gloss over is just how stressful working full time can be. That’s not to say people shouldn’t work full time, but they should try to find less stressful jobs.

Hell even a pay cut for something less taxing can help a lot.

—-

Again, ultimately the problem isn’t gaming. It’s stress and time management. If you guys were millionaires, he would game less if he wasn’t so stressed, and have way more time to socialize, because he wouldn’t be working.

And while it’s always easy to just listen to the choir and break up and move on—you have to keep in mind what kind of message that sends the kids.

Kids need to have some grit and resilience if they’re going to survive in this crazy world, and if they learn to give up the moment things get tough—it’ll just be setting them up for failure.

Go about the problem is a way that your kid would be proud of. Consult a therapist. Consider the big picture (work stress), and work on solutions.

Children mimic the world they see, so give them the best role models you can be!

You got this my friend. :grinning:

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Me and my husband play video games together that is our quality time. We both have full time jobs. I do give him space to play with his friends and relax. I get on face chat and drink wine with my friends. We do however make Friday night date night. We go get dinner together or watch a movie. I also read and have hobbies of my own. You know its two way street maybe you need to get hobby but you also need a date night

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He needs therapy…and not the counseling kind. He needs woman therapy. Stop cooking meals and doing his laundry. Do your child’s and yours. Make a quick meal for your child. When he starts paying attention and asking questions…tell him you are tired and need help and refuse to do those tasks until he starts respecting and valuing you.

Him belittling you is BS…I’d put a stop to that quick and point out how many hours you work including housework vs how .many hours he works…regarkess of pay.

As for your child. .start asking him to do tasks with your child. Period.

His attitude SUCKS. Don’t let him gaslight you or guilt you.

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This is a little different than most, but it worked for my husband and I. I’m a huge gamer he’s not, but he loves GTA. So once our daughter is down for the night we play it together and it helped a lot. I got my gaming fix and he got the together time. My husband pulled the I work harder then you card so I told him to live in my shoes for one day. Needless to say he views us as equals now. :wink:

Fuck, i know how you feel lady

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You’re tight. Hes a child.

My ex was a gamer, he worked full time nights, come home game b4 bed but would be in bed all day do nothing to help with kids and he’d have Friday and Saturday off he’d be out those 2 nights every week and expected me to stay home with kids I worked part time and studied. My family babysat a lot as he hated having to look after his child I’d do all school runs, clean cook etc. All I wanted was family time but he was always tired never wanted to spend quality time with us so I ditched him as he hated contributing to the house also. Even now 9 years later I get grief for his debts that’s he’s accumulated with his ex girlfriends but apparently it’s my fault. He likes to blame everything onto others especially onto me as I’m still around cos he has access. He said to me couple years ago even though I was in relationship and he had split he said as I’m the mother of his child he could demand sex from me. I don’t think so. I tolerate him for my son but hate him. I would chat to him but if no change leave him as won’t change.

Both my husband and I work full time and I do the majority of the housework and childcare for our 3 year old, I’m also 8 months pregnant with our second. My husband works really hard and loves to game to relax, we came up with a deal that he would only ply his games if myself and our son weren’t around or once we go to bed on a night (I like to sleep early so he has plenty of time). However our 3 year old now enjoys playing games with him so that’s the loop hole!

You work a damn sight more hours than him cause you work 24/7 as a stay home Mum!! My ex was like this till there was a change in our work in I worked full time and he stayed home, he admitted going to work was much easier than staying home. You are supposed to be a partnership and that means sharing things, you do some work and study he should do some housework and child care simples, if not you are essentially a single parent anyway

So I guess I am going to be the one with the unpopular opinion and that is people have their hobbies. What do you spend time doing or would like to spend time doing?

Maybe bring this up when having an adult conversation with him and say look I get you like doing this, but perhaps we can schedule family time and you go do your thing later on? I schedule my own hobbies or would like to at these certain times and since we are always busy I just feel that it’s important to set an example for our children.

Poor excuse for a husband and a father. Period. Being a mother, working a part time job and going to school is a more than full time job. Sounds to me like he has mommy issues. He’s a man-child, not a man. And to hang that over your head that he works more and makes more money is BS! There are single mom’s out there that bust their asses everyday with a full time job and take care of there kids too. Sounds like he is using you! LEAVE…bc you will never change him. I was married 13 years and had 1 son with him and he did the same shit and made the same nasty comments to me so I finally said enough is enough and left. Some other woman can take care of him bc there are plenty out there that will but I’m not the one.

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My hubby is a gamer too. He works full time. I’m currently not working (because of the pandemic and the job I had/would be returning to is a high risk job which I have already caught covid from once while pregnant and now we have a 5 month old that I don’t want to end up giving it to because of work). We have 2 daughters (3 and 5months). Sometimes I feel like I am mom 24/7 and he gets a break from the kids going to work while I stay home. There are times that I can go almost a week with not taking a shower because of dealing with the kids but make sure he gets a shower every day. BUT, there is not one day that he doesn’t play with his kids for a little bit. Not one day that he says no to our oldest wanting him to brush her teeth and get her ready for bed (complete daddy’s girl). He may get frustrated with me asking him to do things while he’s trying to play but he will always get up and help. He doesn’t throw it in my face that I’m not working. He knows I want to go back to school but I’m currently not enrolled. I cook most dinners and do breakfast and lunch. We work as a team. Even when I did work, I’d work overnights while him and our daughter were sleeping so I’d be home during the day to take care of her.

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If you look at what you do. 1 . Looking after a child, in itself is a full time job, taking care of a house, washing, cleaning, meals ,is also a full time job. Also taking care of a husband’s needs is also a job. And school, is not just just time at school, it’s processing all you learn , as well.

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It’s only going to get worse, you need to figure out if this is how you want to spend the rest of your marriage/ life with him? If you think you can deal with it, then stay, but if not, then start figuring out a plan for you and your child. Good luck its not easy, but it can be done.

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Stop cleaning up after him, stop washing his clothes and making his dinners/lunch/breakfast…YOUR NOT HIS WIFE, HIS HOUSEKEEPER OR HIS MAIDE!!! He act’s more like your son then your husband. You need to sit down and talk to him on how you feel, to make time for you three as a family, taking care of a toddler going to school, cleaning house, doing laundry, dishes plus preparing snacks etc, that is alot of work to do whether you work outside the house or not. Ask him, do I get a break? Am I playing games, texting friends or calling friends no. You two should talk about him setting aside certain days as such times for him to play so you 3 can also spend family time together and if he doesn’t like it then oh well…good luck!!

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Your not in a relationship, your his mom. Stop doing everything, take care of your daughter and let him do his own cleaning, laundry, cooking etc. He’s not spending anytime with the baby but has time for games, nope. Gaming is a great stress reliever but not when it means you abandoned your family.

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Sounds like you need to have a good talk. Talking down to you isn’t fair or right. My husband plays video games a lot but he pops out of the room in-between games to sit with me for a moment or just come by and hug me and our kids but it’s how he destresses.

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You have a full time job as a mom, go to school 2 days a week AND work weekends?! You work more than he does. I’d be so freaking petty about this type of thing. I would totally hide his shit, and be like “I’m sure you’ll find it when you do your half of the household chores” :grinning::fu:t2:

Sounds like a bum. He needs a reality check. Sit him down and have a conversation about how this is also his house, his kids, his family so he needs to contribute as much as you are. He’s not the oldest kid in the family. He has responsibilities he agreed to the second he agreed to marry you and have children with you. Idgaf If he makes more money or he says it’s his time to relax from work. Too bad! This is the real world where you only get those luxuries if you work for them. If he doesn’t want to be a part of the life you are trying to make… BYE. NEXT. There are good men out there with better work ethics and bigger dicks so if he’s not willing to change go get on Match.com :two_hearts:

My dear lady your so lucky to be able to work partime and GO TO SCHOOL and school at home s I cleaning and cooking part if your job so yo make a little entertaining. Make a fun out his time take him a drink or something he likes to eat. Put a. Note on the screen.
If you can pay the bills go to school you can move out audios.

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Can’t take care of his kid break his game systems then he’s forced to help around honestly you need to pack your things along with your kid and leave him he don’t care about either one of you he rather play video game then do anything he don’t want the responsibility of a child leave before it gets worse where you try to talk to him when he’s playing and he flips on you or your kid for the child asking for things when he’s alone

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Girl he didn’t want a spouse he wanted a mother… well he has one and it’s not you! Quit doing for him. And the way he belittles you don’t stand for that shit! Tell him to knock it off or kick rocks! You don’t need him! What you do at home for your little girl is just as important as his ass going to work to make money for the home!

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Mine is the EXACT same girl stg and I’d he doesn’t work first thing he does is turn on the game
His friends call.him all day if he’s not on the game to get on the game
7 years of it.now I’m almost used to it and it still pisses me off daily

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This is my husbands same schedule and we have a daughter too. He is also a gamer!! It’s always been the biggest strain on our relationship but recently we talk out a schedule. He doesn’t play on weekdays unless it’s later in the night (9 or 10) and if he’s tired the next day that is on him. But it is his responsibility to be a parent and husband first and he has been a lot better. On Friday night he can play all night. On Saturday the whole day is for his family and around 6 he can play the rest of the night

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My husband games. He works but he also helped out when our daughter was little. It’s his way of unwinding from work. I didn’t mind because he worked hard to provide and he deserved his me time. We’ve been married 29 yrs. But if he’s not helping out and throwing a fit when you ask him to help then yup, y’all need to help a serious talk.

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My ex was like this but i worked full time and went to school
In the end i had to end it because it was driving me crazy
I go to work pick up our son from daycare i would fix baby lunch he would come home and all he would do is just game and at night he asked why i was irritated
You homie its you
I washed his clothes cooked and cleaned i finally said enough and made him do hos own stuff and that didnt work.
In the end it was the best dissension i ever made because i now have someone who likes to game but does half the cooking half the cleaning takes care of our kids together
I get girl time and he gets gamer time
Either he needs to ship up or ship out.

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Grow up or get out!!! Life is not a video game little boy! You have responsibilities now!! Your either in this marriage together or bye bye now…your child & you need a husband & a father!!

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I had this problem with my husband for a while. Honestly, if he plays the games for winding down after work that’s one thing. But he should still be giving you and your child attention also. You’re his wife. Not his mother or his maid. He can make time for you if he can make time for games. I used to ask my husband, “Do you still want to be married to me? Because if I’m not worth your time say so, I’ll draw up the paper work and leave.”

We were able to work it out and we have a much better relationship lately. Some days he still games to much but, he’s getting better. If he’s willing to work on it things will get better. But, remind him that he made a promise to you. And then when he brought a child into this world he made a promise to her as well.

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Don’t do anything for him. Belittling you is not ok. You’ve obviously tried talking to him. Simply go about your days with your baby and do nothing for him and see what happens. Don’t clean his messes, do his laundry, pick any of his stuff up, do his bidding in bed. Even being a stay at home parent is a full time job. That on top of work and school? You’re good! Being just a home parent is taking care of babies, meals, cleaning, shopping, yard work. Home care is just as fulfilling and just as exhausting as work outside of home as well. Expecting you to do your things, everything else in home, then refusing you and him time for your ‘break’ time is a problem. Try a few things that will affect him and show him the problems. He should change a few things to show you and your feelings matter. If he doesn’t then at that point reasses your future. Good luck mama.

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A stay at home mom is a job too. You cook, clean, babysit, in school, imagine how much he would pay for those services is he ask someone to do it? He gets weekends off, off of work by 5? What is the problem for him not to pinching in to help? So you’re working to be his caregiver too? I rather get child support and be single if a man use me like that. Hell nah!

This obviously isnt a marriage . At this point your not even in a relationship with him. He suspects you to do everything . Put your foot down stop doing shit for him and then see what happens. This isnt fair for you or kids.

I left the “boy” I was with because all he ever wanted to do was play video games… Taking care of your daughter is a full time job in itself. Maybe he should watch her for a full day so he gets an idea of what it’s like. Then you have school on top of that? I commend you. He either needs to grow up or you need to move on.

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He is your second child and if it’s bothering you now it will bother you later. You can not build with someone who lacks a solid foundation. Taking care of a 4 year, online classes and cooking and cleaning are full time jobs, I’m surprised that you’re able to work weekends. I can’t tell you what to do but my advice would be to listen to that inner voice that continues to speak when you think that you’re wrong. It’s perfectly ok to walk away from something that’s not working, if you’re stressed so is your child, she knows when something isn’t right even if she doesn’t verbalize it. A mature man doesn’t come home and play video games they help their significant other with what needs to be done in the home.

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Honestly, he’s a grown man and you’re not his mother. I would sit down and talk to him about it one more time and if that doesn’t get him to help, I’d stop doing everything for him. I’d also be having a heart to heart with myself and figure out if this is how I want to live the rest of my life.

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I would say have a serious talk with him & then if that doesn’t work ask him to go to counseling to sort things out but lastly if that doesn’t work out you need to leave him behind - you can b alone without him . Life is short don’t b miserable

sounds like your his maid and babysitter not his partner

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Leave the relationship and start a new life with your kids.

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Thats not a partnership…

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See if something is bothering him.

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