Is he on the spectrum?
Maybe seek a doctors help? A dentist?
Is he on the spectrum?
Since people are so judge mental I will just say this he probably is depressed someone close was like this and was diagnosed with Severe depression I would have him evaluate and I wouldn’t let it go on any further don’t hint it ask him why he hasn’t done it don’t tip toe around it he might be so down his depression hole he doesn’t realize it I had to have this talk with someone I loved they lost themselves into depression after their partner died and they didn’t even realize that they weren’t doing it some people also jus don’t care when they are
Girrrrllll you have to tell him… you should have told him 5 years ago!
Get dawn and a water hose
My ex was like this…it’s just how he was/is. He took care of family and kids and me I’m not gonna tell a grown man to go brush their teeth and shower. He didn’t have mental health issues like I said it’s just how he is
Do you have children?id tell him he needs to better to teach them.i wouldnt take no for an answer.make him…i read the suggestion over the toothbrush being handed to him.you could also suggest showering together.
That is usually a mental health issue.
Severe depression or mental problem.
One’s oral health is a prelude to his overall health. No more hinting… tell him exactly what he needs to do and that you’re at your breaking point and wanting to leave him. You’ve been overly patient. He really needs help.
Idk how you survived 5 years 🥲
Why does everyone go to mental health.??? Ok I get it but maybe he is just fkn lazy and don’t want to…
It sounds like mental health issues.
I lost my daughter in April last year and since, it’s extremely hard for me to even do basic daily things. Most weeks I shower every other days and wash my hair only once a week. You’d be surprised what is exhausting when you are battling depression/mental health issues. Maybe he needs some support.
"I’m bored, let’s go brush our teeth. " but I’m also an asshole.
Tell his fonky mouth ass to go to the dentist, and wash his ass crack bc it smells when he walks by!
You need to be blunt since he don’t take hints.
Is he not taking care of himself bc of a mental illness?
Don’t hint … actually TELL him that it’s gross and you have no sexual desire towards him.
I would’ve already left:face_vomiting: ain’t no way I could be with someone who has bad hygiene and doesn’t brush their teeth…
I would be down the road
hes a grown man you only have to live with him not in his body if thats him then thats him:woman_shrugging:t2: if his habits bug you that much but hes responsible in every other way, i think hes fine. im lucky if i have time to shower once a week because of motherhood
I struggle with my mental health. Sure it can be hard to get out of bed and shower when I’m really depressed. But I also acknowledge that wow, I stink, nobody wants to smell me, so I NEED to shower. Even if I’m not doing it for me, it needs to be done. I also am not always quick to jump on the “he’s depressed” train, because if this has been going on for 5 years it’s probably something else. You’d think as a spouse you’d have noticed nonstop crippling depression over 5 years. Personally, I think the dude might just be gross and stopped giving a crap about hygiene. Some people are just like that. Freaking nasty. So you either gotta actually speak to him about it, deal with it, or leave. My husband gets lazy and I have a sensitive nose, now that he has an office job he doesn’t feel the need to shower everyday because he’s not as active but I still notice the funk and will tell him to shower when he needs it. If it got to the point where his nastiness turned me off, I guarantee he’d be all over it and doing what he could to remedy the situation.
Tell him. “Hey, you need to brush your teeth and shower more often. It’s killing my sexual attraction towards you”. Be blunt and honest about it.
Oh no honey. He’s a grown man… not a child. You shouldn’t have to tell him that it’s gross he should already know this.
Unless he has a mental health issue… then he needs help.
Dont HINT… TELL him!
Be honest with him and tell him.
Explain how it’s making you feel
How does he have teeth left? Buy him a vibrating toothbrush and some nice toothpaste and hand it to him and say I was out and I thought you might want this
Gross. I dated a guy who didnt brush his teeth for a month and I couldn’t do it. Real good looking guy, nasty mouth
Yea that’s gross. This is not a mental health issue, this is a lazy as fuck issue. 5 years?!
Wtf I would be reading this while I’m eating
Heights of being stupid
Ew yeah…no. I couldn’t do that. Im all about hygiene and that’s super gross.
Maybe he’s depressed. That’s what it sounds like. Try talking to him.
Dude I feel the same way like we’ve been together 3.5 years & he’s only brushed his teeth maybe 1 week out of that time… he’s never flossed since we have been together… I hardly ever kiss him… I mean he showers daily… he’s an ex addict that has relapsed & trying to do better so I mean it could be mental health but at the same time I have severe depression & anxiety & still brush my teeth & shower daily…
Sounds like depression to me. Instead of confronting him about the hygiene, I would suggest seeing a Dr about depression being a possibility.
Umm I would have already left day one, that’s absolutely disgusting.
May be time to stop hinting and like actually say something?
Mental health issue or not…you need to talk to him. Explain not only is that extremely unhealthy but it’s also killing your attraction to him. Sometimes people need the brutal truth to break away from a bad habit.
Unfortunately no amount of hint will matter. My husband hygiene is not the best, I’ve done everything I could… take him to dentist, try teaching how to do it properly but nothing. Finally I put my foot down I haven’t kissed him in years nor am I planning to, now he wants to work on himself but it’s too late for me. I’m done with the relationship.
You need to be honest with him, not hint to anything. Men suck at hints clearly.
Nope…couldn’t do it. Mental health issues or not! 5 years of not brushing teeth is not ok. Skipping a day or two…ehhh I could deal. 5 years though
The bacteria and yuckkkk that’s in his mouth
I can’t even start my day without brushing my teeth. That’s literally the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning. That is disgusting
Book him a check up with the dentist go together
Stop it right now thats absolutely disgusting
I don’t hint…I tell my husband straight out that’s it’s revolting when he goes 4 days without showering. Disgusting.
5 years really? I can’t stand when my partner doesn’t do it for 1 day never mind 5 years , how are you still with him omg that’s a no no! Stop hinting and tell him you can’t stand the smell of him and his breathe and if he doesn’t start looking after himself better then your leaving. If he’s depressed then he needs help
He sounds like my dad who doesn’t even remember which toothbrush is his.
My husband fell in to a deep depression like bad depression he didn’t know that’s what it was… tried to take his life and all… For a hot minute he would only shower once a week and wouldn’t brush his teeth either… It was getting bad… I was feeling a way about our marriage we had a talk and I told him… men need to be told point blank… If u feel like this is ruining your relationship be up front and tell him… Personal hygiene is alot
What in the hell?? Now it bothers you??? What about 5 years ago. This makes no sense.
Wow these comments are just straight rude. You never know what someone is going through in their head. I have these moments as well when I’m dealing with depression. It happens. You’d expect someone to be there for you if you were going through depression and not just straight up leave you for it. Having him go see someone isn’t as easy as yall make it sound. If you’ve never been through depression you wouldn’t know. I refused to see someone because to me it was embarrassing and depression at the thought of having to see someone. Hell I still struggle to go and see someone. Best u can do is be there for him especially if u love him.
Idk how you lasted 5 years you need to run
Depression is fine but not taking accountability and owning your shit so you can do better is not. Seriously
He’ll start brushing when he has to go get a tooth removed because his teeth will most likely get infected.
Nop This is why my ex is my ex… A week of him staying at mine 1 shower & never brushing his teeth no thank you very much made me wana puke no chance I was kissing him
That is just straight up nasty!
His teeth must be so bad. Before becoming a SAHM I was a Registered Dental Assistant so I am reading this thinking he better get to a dentist!
You need to talk to him. This is not healthy
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I couldn’t bring myself to kiss or be intimate with that straight up FUNK:sparkles:
If I were in the situation, I’d have to be straightforward And as blunt as possible. I wouldn’t want to hurt my spouse’s feelings, but damn.
Sounds like depression. He needs help.
Does he know that not brushing your teeth can really affect your heart x
It didn’t bother you when it started 5 years ago? If he’s depressed, get him some help.
If he’s just lazy and nasty, show him the door. No way could I deal with that amount of gross…especially for 5 years. He certainly wouldn’t be sleeping in my bed, or sitting on my furniture smelling like he must smell with his current hygiene habits.
I might be the odd one out here. But maybe he is depressed? Maybe you need to try and help him do basic things for a bit to get out of that depression.
As women we all want support when things are getting too much for us, we feel overwhelmed ect. We constantly beg for acceptance to be depressed.
Men cant be/have depression too?
This is how my father was my whole life. My mom never actually tried to help him. Instead she would belittle and blame him. Then make fun of him for his hygiene and mental health.
My parents divorce finalized in 2018 and my dad drank himself to death in 2020.
The last month of his life he didnt leave his bed. Not even to use the restroom.
He needs help. Not ridicule from these comments.
My husband is like to an I drag him in the shower an make him brush his teeth
It sounds alot like depression, he needs help
Poor hygiene is a deal breaker for me
If you’ve been open and honest with him about his hygiene and still he won’t change then you gotta do what you gotta do!! I’m sorry I could t do be with someone like that! But maybe he’s depressed or something
Sounds like maybe depression. Or maybe he just naturally is gross. One can be addressed with seeking help the other might need to go directly in the trash. I could be wrong
Straight up tell him this. Maybe it’ll open his eyes to it. Is he depressed?
First of, I am so sorry you’re going to through this, and I understand. Granted, my husband showers daily, but has issues with brushing his teeth so I know your struggle.
If I mention it, I’m nagging him like his mother. If I tell him to brush his teeth before intimacy, I’m killing the mood and spontaneity. He tells me that I’m being a germaphobe if I tell mention germs and bacteria. He bought an expensive toothbrush, he rarely uses it and it’s so hypocritical because he yells at our kids about brushing their teeth. If I mention it, he says it’s different. He doesn’t like the taste of toothpaste so I but different kinds. It’s gross and infuriating. When we first started dating, he brushed multiple times a day so I call laziness not depression.
Mental health matters. I hope he finds the help that is needed
Sounds like depression. Please you need to talk to him. Be straight with him but don’t be a dick about it. As a man who has gone through depression and something slightly similar. He needs you whether he shows it or admits it he does. Talk to him.
If not depression this is simply laziness … I couldn’t live with someone like that
Try just saying hey your disgusting and need to brush and wash… maybe dont be mean but men are dumb qnd need to be told bluntly what u want from them. So maybe be more straight forward.
Have you spoken to him about his mental health ? Maybe offer to go to the doctors with him
Tracy Carter you’ve got to read this one
Why are you hinting? Tell him to wash and scrub.
Maybe hes depressed or maybe he has adhd or whatever equivalent yo adulthood. I know people with adhd have a hard time keeping up with showers and brushing.
Stop hinting and be honest. Tell him he’s turning you off with his hygiene habits. Try to ask in a nice way if he’s doing it on purpose to repel you. Mental health could be playing a role… ffs I myself haven’t showered in 2 weeks because I’m depressed. But guys tend to be more relaxed on hygiene. I flat out refuse to have sex unless hubby has showered. If his breath is ripe I tell him and distance myself. Unfortunately asking politely doesn’t always work so there has to be something in it for him even if it’s just cuddling. Buuuut I am a hypocrite a bit atm… ever since my mom died I’ve been too lazy to keep up with showering and brushing my teeth. But at the same time I’m shutting everyone out due to my grief so that’s a symptom. Is your spouse going through anything right now? I know I have issues that need dealing with. I’m seeing a therapist. Does he realize he may need therapy?
Before judging i would make sure hes ok and not depressed or anything. I know when im depressed, it is very hard to find the motivation to do much. I went without a shower for a week before because of my depression. I know it was nasty and I,felt it, but its a whole new ballgame when it comes to depression and I would hope my s.o would support and help me instead of downing and judging me…
Tell him he needs to start showering and brushing his teeth regularly or you can’t stay with him. It’s a turn off.
Omg this is utter madness ! 5 years is such a long time for you to be patient !
Time to be blunt then, all feelings aside and out the window lol
My ex Husband was that way. I was sick of taking care of a child. Hence the ex
He’s gonna lose his teeth
Probably depressed. His teeth are going to fall out though and that’ll just make him feel worse. And only he can help himself. Give him a chance and then do what you gotta.
Ai your husband 🙆🙆🙆why?at least a side chick will not stand for shit like this,he is all yours
Oh no! Poor you! You need to stop hinting and be super clear!!!
Is this a joke??? I wouldn’t hint. I’d make it very clear how disgusting that is.
OMG you poor women , Can’t even imagine someone not cleaning their teeth 5 years
Did you know not keeping up with your personal hygiene is a major sign for depression, you cannot always see someone has it on the outside specially if they keep thing bottled up, maybe this is the case with him? Or was he like this when you got with him because if he wasn’t I would definitely look into it more, x
Tell him to brush his teeth! I would.
Is he depressed or work a physically demanding job? Idk but hinting isn’t enough.
Symptom of depression
Not only is not brushing his teeth for so long disgusting, it can lead to serious heart issues. Someone in their late 50’s told me they had NEVER flossed their teeth in their entire life!! I literally shivered.
Shower with him a few times a week Maybe that’ll get him to start building those good and necessary habits again. Schedule dentist appointments together if possible, but him lots of fresh mint gum. Encourage, but only so much can be done. I’m sorry! Sounds like he’s got some things going on
Stop hinting and tell him how you feel!!
I can’t be with someone so nasty. 5 years you said? Nope, that’s not going to happen. He probably stinks everything he sits on.
Tell him to shower and brush his teeth daily or get out. Plain and simple. I’m sorry I know you probably love him but it’s just not acceptable and it would gross me out to the point to where he would have to go! I know it’s a sign of depression but if he won’t get off his butt and take care of personal hygiene then he needs to go somewhere else and seek help
Stop the hints, guys don’t take hints, tell him to Brush his damn teeth !!!
Young one - was he brought up poor or does he possibly have mental health problem. Usually it’s either or -
My ex did this too I was always telling him to shower or go brush his teeth.
Just hand him a toothbrush and toothpaste every night, help him solve the problem of getting into routine, he might just need that nudge. Teeth are expensive to take care of, teach him the importance of hygiene! If you are comfortable with that
Don’t hint. Be up front and blunt. If he doesn’t start taking care of himself IMMEDIATELY then leave. That’s just plain disgusting.
Ok… as much, as I just wanna tell you to walk up to him and tell that man to wash his A$s and scrub his teeth.
Maybe sit and have a deep, calm Convo. Is he depressed ?? Their may be something going on internally / mentally .
Just ask him why…plain and simple…No hints