My spouse says he won't take our son to church: Should I take him?

If your spouse says you can not take HIS kids (they’re yours biologically as well!!) to church and goes on and on about it, but your son is struggling with life and wants to go and see what it’s all about, does that make me wrong for wanting to take him? I thought about going on my own in the past, but I always felt like I would have to do it in secret. Please weigh in on marriages with different religions or no religion. And who really says what goes when one person is hellbound determined that it can’t be any other way.

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You said it yourself: He’s YOURS TOO. Take him.

You take him expecially if he wants to go

Marriage is about love, respect and comprimise. Your son should get to go and make his own mind up. And your husband shouldn’t stop you from going just because he doesnt want to.

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If he wants to go take him.

Non religious household here- if our kids ever show an interest or curiosity in religion we would be happy to teach them about it and/or take them to a church they would like to check out. We would never push our beliefs (or non beliefs) on anyone, including our kids! And we want to encourage questions and curiosities of all kinds! I would take the dads feelings into consideration but I think you and he need to have a pretty serious talk to come up with an agreement on how it should be introduced to your son in a way you’re both comfortable with.

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If he wants to go, take him.

My mom forced us to go and I hated it. I’m giving my kids the option of being religious, non religious or seeking a different religion.

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Both my husband and I are atheist, however, we have decided that when our girls are old enough and decide for themselves they want to check it out we support them 100% even if we are the ones who take them

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Why the hell are you married to someone you think is hell bound? Wtf. Do your husband a favor and leave.

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The child. It is their right to be whatever they want

Let the kid decide. :grin: No harm in seeing what it’s all about. This coming from an Agnostic. I have nothing against religion or the church but my dad took me just so I could make up my own mind.

Ask your son if he wants to visit church, temple, synagogue etc. If he says yes, take him.

Religion should be up the children in my opinion. They have to learn some how and they shouldnt have their parents beliefs or lack there of shoved down their throat. I would take my kids and my husband could get over himself

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I’m not understanding why he’s being denied the house of the lord…of all places. Maybe it’s what he needs. Take him!

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Religion should be a personal choice. No one should be forced into one they did not choose or be denied one they want to seek. Taking him to church may find the answers he seeks or it may not, but you’ll never know if the answer to his problems could have been this simple if you don’t try. He is his own person and has a right to find his own answers, wherever those may be. Trying to stop him from doing so will just cause him to resent you.

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My husband doesn’t really believe in religion but I am a Christian I go every Sunday and take our daughter he will attend with me sometimes but also respects my beliefs so even though we have our differences it doesn’t bother him that we go

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My SO isn’t religious at all. I was raised Catholic and went to private school. He didn’t have any problem with us Baptising our kids or me taking them to church because he knows it’s important to me. He just doesn’t go with us to weekly services.

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I do not go to church, I do however believe in God. 2 summers ago my daighter started expressing interest in going to church. The last 2 summers she has went to Bible camp and goes to Wednesday night youth group. If he wants to go, take him. It is his choice to decided what to believe in

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My husband and I are both NOT religious. But if they wanted to figure it out themselves and asked for us to take them, we would. :woman_shrugging:

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If he wishes to go take him just dont force it.

If your son is of age where he can make these choices then take him. I’m anti church, like extremely but if my daughter ever wanted to go I would allow it.

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Either way, together or not, it can be a split decision on religion until he is old enough to decide on his own. My husband works a lot and doesn’t want to go to church because of it but I still would take our kids sometimes.

Your husband sounds like an asshole.

I think it depends on age of the child. Are they old enough to make that kind of decision if so take them if they wanna go

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I’m Catholic and my husband has no religion. He was more than happy to have our kids baptised, to go Catholic schools and to church. He will not go to church on the weekends but he will always on his own terms come on big special occasions, Baptism, Holy Communion, Christmas, Weddings, funerals ect…

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If the kid wants to go, take him. Your husband is being unreasonable. And this is coming from someone who very much dislikes the church for many reasons and is definitely NOT religious. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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If he wants to do it allow him to. I am atheist and yet my oldest chose to go to church and just made his catholic confirmation tonight :heart: in my home I allow them to decide what they choose to believe in.

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I would still take your kid if you want to expose your guyses kids do what you want and tell him I’m taking

No matter what he thinks either way it’s not his choice what you do. If you want to and the child wants to then you should. He is in control of his life and you are in control of yours. Someone else should never make choices for you.

My opinion won’t be very mild I just came here to say…nobody gets to tell me where I can and can’t go. That’s petty and childish. Also…your husband sounds awful and controlling and if my kid ASKED me to go to church of all places…I wouldn’t be asking my husband or anyone on FB. What harm is it going to do? Reading your situation made me so sad.

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My husband and I are on totally different spectrums when it comes to religion ect. If he wants to go I’ll go with him and take the kids. It sure isn’t going to change my views.

Your children have the right to choose which religion they want to follow, but in order to do that they must be exposed to both so that they know what they are picking. You both have to be open minded about this and not influence the children’s decision or question why they picked it, in any way.

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Myself and my husband are atheists with super religious families. Our kids’ other parents are Christian, as are some of our children… The kids know we support them either way, but that we personally don’t believe.

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You shouldn’t force religion on your kids. Let them choose what to believe. Growing up feeling scared into a belief system is NOT the way to go. My husband and I talk to our kids about all belief systems when they may have questions and it may be in the news. I grew up thinking I was going to hell because I lied about brushing my teeth once. My mom used the “put your hand on the bible and swear you’re telling the truth” crap way too much. I have never done that to my kids because it was traumatizing to me for so many years. I am now Pagan.

I’m a strong believer in the Lord Jesus Christ HOWEVER I do not like church houses. I believe that to know, love and worship God you DO NOT have to go to church just open a Bible, pray and talk to God! Churches are full of judgmental jerks and the tithes?! Yeah, no! I’m not paying to walk into a building to open my Bible and pray when I’m already paying rent at my own house and I won’t be judged! Not everybody that goes to church is judgmental but allot are.

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I think he should be able to go if he chooses . I’d maybe mention to the father if he keeps pushing not going he may just end up pushing him closer to the “church life” when he has no say in his life any more. Best to let kids figure things out on their own. With sensible guidance, of course.

With that being said, the child is both of yours, and I’m sure you knew his religious beliefs prior to marriage. I wouldn’t sneak and take him. I would have a discussion on it for sure though.

I allow my kids to chose what they believe in… My husband goes with me… I personally would take my kid to see what its all about. Communication is always key… And if nothing else theres always online services if hes really interested.

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My ex was raised you go to church anytime the doors are open he comes from a long line of preachers. I myself was raised in a home with an atheist father an told it was my right to choose for myself what religion if any I wanted to follow. I am a Christian I don’t go to church. I have given my children the same option as I was given. I have 2 that are at church the moment the door opens an one who is researching all religions. Children need to have the right to choose religion. To be raised with an open mind. If your child wants to go to church you as the parent have he right to take them during your time. My ex forces all the kids to go one his time. My oldest resents him for it. Our job as parents are to guide and mold our children. We can not control them or force them to believe or do anything in life. You set them on a path an guide them along the way. So amongst my rambling, yes you should allow your children to go to church if that is what they want. You nor anyone else has the right to keep them from religion, if you do so you are doing a great injustice.

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Your child wants to go- he has the right to make that choice for himself and you should support it and go with him. If your husband is a decent person he will get it together and support as well. If he isn’t, then you are going to need to be the support for your child for him.

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I honestly believe all religions are the same as fairy tales and cults. But I would never judge someone on their beliefs as I hope they would not judge me on mine.
That being said my children are free to explore and learn about religion even join a faith if they so choose. Just as they are free to live their truth in whatever way that may be.
My husband is well aware that their choices are their own and at one time he was a choice of mine. If he wants to stifle them he knows where the door is.
And those are the thoughts of this mama bear.

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Honestly this is one of those deal breaker issues. Having said that, the kid is half yours, so shouldn’t you be allowed to make those types of decisions as well. I don’t believe in god, and neither does my husband, so we teach our kids morality from a humanistic perspective. If you believe in a god, then I would think you would be allowed to share your values too. I suppose it depends on your marital relationship though. :woman_shrugging:

Take that child to church momma!!!

A little child will lead them. He will lots of life skills. Miss Burgey at Jefferson school ask if my kids when to Sunday school. I said yes why do you ask. She said because they know how to sit and listen.

Ok I’m religious my so is atheist he has his opinions thoughts and I have mine we leave it at that but we don’t exclude our kids from different view points not to long ago I took my kids to my mom’s baptism I don’t see a big issue in the kids seeing different view points

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I would consider talking to your husband and your son talking to him about experiences different religions. Just remember, your son doesnt have to follow your religion either

If he wants to go then take him!!

I am not religious at all! hate it…however, I’m no expert and so don’t assume I know everything and also take on that it is MY opinion. I don’t know everything I may be wrong.

Take the child and teach him to go to Church-could make a difference in his life

My and my boyfriend have two different religions. I’m a Christian and he’s agnostic. We have two sons together and I plan to take my children to church when they get older. My boyfriend doesn’t really care, he said when they’re older they can make that decision for theirselves just like he had done. If your child is asking to go, then let them go. Nothing wrong with it and your children have the right to different beliefs separate from their parents.

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I’m agnostic, my husband is atheist. My daughter got curious. We let her go with her best friend. She enjoys it. I told her I’m not able to answer her questions very well but that I would do my best to find someone else who might be able to. We’re a happy family. Nobody’s beliefs interfere with anybody else’s here. We just coexist and love one another.

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If you’re strong in your faith & your husband says you can’t take your kids to church it’s not about church itself. It’s about taking something important to you away from you. I bet there’s more in your life that he’s forbidden or restricted of you. He’s emotionally abusive. I would leave. I did leave. He took me out of me little by little to the point that I didn’t know who I was or what was right any more. LEAVE, get into counseling & reclaim your identity.

My husband believes I don’t but if he wants to go ahead take them to church so just take your son

If he wants to go, then take him. My house is a pagan household, but our daughter is being baptized in honor of my grandma. When she’s old enough to decide if she wants to go, I’ll take her for as long as she wants to go.

I grew up in a split household when it came to religion. My parents encouraged any curiosity I had. I do the same with my kids. I have one child that goes to a church of Christ and another that goes to Methodist and is close to his Baptism. I let them decide what is comfortable for them. My youngest has not made that decision yet and her father is Jewish. So as of right now we choose non denominational for her until she can choose for herself.

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Contact the youth leader at the church you like, ask if there are kids willing to help.
You can’t stop your children from making friends.

We have always said we will wait until they are old enough to share their opinion and actually sit still

Ask the child of he/she wants to go to church.

I hated being forced to go to church as a child. I am not religious.

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I’m not religious but I benefited alot from church when I was young take him and try and take dad too. Tell him to get over it and listen to the message…then let your son decide. My daughter went decided she didnt like it. I didnt say a word. I dont do church personally but am happy if my kids find what they need there

My husband is religious while I always told my kids (not biologically his) they can explore religions if they want to when they are ready oldest son asks questions sometimes but that’s about it if they decide they want to see what church is all about my husband will take them and they can check it out. Religion is a personal choice and that includes for kids if they want to check it out and explore different types of religions they should be allowed to.

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It’s your child’s life. Bot yours, not his, theirs. If a child wants to learn why the heck would you stop them?

We both are Catholic. Our baby comes with us. If he wants to branch out and explore later? I will support that 100%, even if it means buying tons of books and going to services that I wouldn’t normally go to.

My husband and I both searched a lot before settling into the Catholic Church. Why would we deny our little one that choice? As long as he doesn’t start to believe something horrible like murder is okay haha, as long as his choice helps him have good morals, let him believe what he believes. Religious belief is extremely personal and special, no one should be forced to believe something they don’t agree with.

As a non religious person…what the fuck? Why does it matter if your son wants to go to church? If the husband doesn’t want to go yeah sure whatever, no ones making him. But saying yalls son can’t go? Makes no sense to me. I’d say f you buddy and go anyways.

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I’m an athiest. I think if hes old enough to be curious you should take him. Your spouse can also discuss religion and teach their beliefs but bashing each other or banning things isn’t really ok.

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If its your son’s choice take him. He has the right as an independent human to choose what he wants.

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Can you have hobbies that dont include your spouse? Can you do activities outside the relationship? If yes then just go. Its has nothing to do with him. If his son decided to make decisions he doesnt agree with then that his problem to figure out. But your son has the right to seek out any religion for whatever reason. I’ve been to many churches or many different religions and some just weren’t my cup if tea. But I learned that because my devote Christian mother allowed me to try new things and see what worked best for me. This is your sons path to seek out answers and help. Hes not doing it in a hurtful way like with drugs or acting out. I’d encourage and tell your spouse to get over it.

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Go to church. Most salvations in families come about by the wife going to church and the family ultimately going as well. The enemy will do anything to prevent you from going to church.
A previous pastor at my church was an atheist. His wife started going to church. He finally agreed to go, but not actually sit in service. He agreed only to serve at church while his wife sat in service. He eventually began sitting in service, then was baptized and then became a pastor at the church. Trust God. He WILL turn around this situation

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My ex was that way, not about church but alot of other things. I left his ass and I do what I want with my kids on my time and he can enforce his wishes on his time.

as a pagan who was raised Catholic I may not like the Christian belief system however I do believe in raising children to have freedom of exploration in belief structure. Allow your child that freedom of experiencing a house of worship with you BUT PLEASE explain to your child this is not the only path of belief! Maybe buy a few child friendly books explaining the various Paths :slight_smile: good luck to you!!!

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I don’t believe in religion yet my daughter goes to a baptist kindy .
I do believe that our children do deserve to learn about God etc so when they are older they can decide for themselves what they want to believe in .
I get where father is coming from as alot of religious stuff sounds like complete bullshit an doesn’t want to confuse children etc .
Also if u want to learn an want your child to learn you an your child can do that as an activity together ,with out forcing beliefs on your partner an other family members

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Well the responsibility of parents to teach your children about God. we will be strongly judged by him if we do not lead or teacher children about Christ. It’s his responsibility according to the Bible to be the head of the home and the spiritual leader and he’ll have to answer for but doing it. Yes you need to take your child to church

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I say if the kid wants to go thats their choice. They want to learn so why hold them back

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I would say if he wants to go take him. As long as your not forcing anyone to go why not. At least when hes older he can make an informed choice what he wants to believe x

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I’m atheist and my husband is Christian. Together we have 2 girls.
He’s always been “allowed” to take them to church if he chooses, and I am free to express my beliefs (or lack of) freely.
I think kids should be exposed to both sides, and be allowed to make up their own minds. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Discuss it with him and find out why he has such strong feelings about this. Maybe he was hurt in someway by someone at a church? Maybe he has valid reasons. Why do you need to brainwash a child with religion before they are old enough to understand things and make concrete choices for themselves? You can live just fine without religion, but undoing the harm it causes can take a lifetime.

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I say take him to church raise him having a foundation of faith but If he chooses to leave later that’s also his decision. Show it to him but do not make it mandatory. You want him to find his own relationship with God, not adopt the one you have.

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Dude why. I’m not religious …at all. But my son is/was idk havent checked since he became a teen. But when he was younger I busted my ass to find him a nativity scene because he wanted one. That child is it’s own person and we should not shove our choices or beliefs on them. EVER. In anything.

Absolutely not! there is not any way I would allow any person to take any of my children into a church! Those places are horrendous. Nothing but hypocrites and liars…

I’m Atheist. My kids are free to choose what they want when they are old enough to understand.

When I was married we had different ideas about how the world worked. We agreed to allow our son to go with respective family members to experience church as it plays heavily into our society and without exposure to it he would be lost. We also educated on world religions and visited spiritual events. This is one of the few things my ex husband and I agreed on. He has a collective idea of how everyone thinks something a little different but outside of extremists everyone is basically on the same page. Hes 11. :slight_smile:

I was in a relationship with a non religious person. He encouraged my kids to learn about God, he said they’ll make their decision about faith when they’re older, but if it was important to me, then he supported it. He would even go with us, but he didn’t believe or anything, he just did it to support me.

I would not sneak, teach my kids to be deceitful, that makes it a norm.
I would get my troubled kid into counseling, buy them books, and let them maybe join an online support group or religious group to check it out.

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My husband is not religious and I was raised baptist but strayed after I moved out at 18 and don’t really consider myself religious anymore but I will say that CERTAIN churches can be a very positive experience and just like a stressfree place to go once a week like I said certain churches there is a church close to me that is so great and it’s very modern so you never feel judged as you would other churches but he was against our daughter going at first but she goes to a Christian daycare only because our options in my town were limited so she knows about god but we don’t enforce anything when she comes home but that is only because we aren’t religious but he would never say she wasn’t allowed because he believes she should be educated about all that as well like he is and that is what helped him make his decision and mine as well

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Depends on why he’s wanting to go. If he’s old enough that he just wants to go to experience it and explore the nonsense of it all, then fine. If he’s young and impressionable and you’ve been talking about it with him as a way to solve his problems and now suddenly he wants to go, that’s probably where I’d take issue with it.
I definitely have very strong opinions of religion.

My step sons ex tried pulling the whole “God doesn’t exist, no Bible’s in this house” card and all it did was show the kids how absolutely ignorant she was being at the time. I don’t believe in God either, but I don’t try and convince the kids that I’m all-knowing and tell them they aren’t allowed to learn about something just because I don’t believe it’s real.
Take kids to church, let them learn.

If he is interested 100 take him. I take my kids without their dad just because I want them to know what’s out there and if he doesn’t want to go that’s ok

Do not brainwash your kid. Gross.

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Neither my husband and I are religious. However, if my husband or I ever wanted to go to church and the other didnt, neither would make the other feel bad about it…that’s a personal choice. And if your child is of the age to decide they’re interested in checking it out, i feel like that’s their choice and it should be supported by every party involved.

I was brought up with a Catholic father and a Methodist mother. We went to both churches while growing up. I also went to many different services with my friends. I enjoyed and learned a lot. I married a Baptist and decided to get baptised when I was 28 yes old. I have brought our children up Baptist but encourage them to explore other religions. You and your children have the right to experience what ever feels right to you. Your husband does not have to go, not should he make you feel bad about you wanting to give your child options. Good luck :pray:

My husband and I are of separate Faith, I’m Jewish and he is Christian. Our daughter has in the past spent time at his church and at my Synagogue as time has gone on we dont go to his church anymore because I felt it was toxic to who I am and who my daughter is but we decided that if in the future we wanted to go back we would find a place that fit all of the needs we want from a religious community. Allow your spouse to feel valid in this conversation and choice because religion is such a deep and important topic, maybe looking for a place that he will feel at home just as much as you will help bridge this gap, honestly I feel like it really just needs to come from a place of love and understanding. Having mixed religion relationships can be hard and there is a lot to talk about and come to terms with. Good luck

My Ex2 and I were together until the boys were 11 & 12. We always took them together. By the that time they were teens or close and it wasn’t an issue. He didn’t care if they went. Ex 1 never cared if my daughter went either.

My husband doesn’t believe in God, i do, but don’t attend church.
If our children would want to go, I would take them or have a family member who is in church take them if they wanted to see what it was about.

It should be your son’s choice.

I was raised Catholic, now practice my own version of Christianity (aka I don’t go to church but I do watch/listen to sermons from different pastors, meditate/pray etc) and my fiancé is an atheist. We have 2 kids and have decided to let them choose their own path as far as religion when they are older. We plan to discuss different world religions with them and if they want to learn more encourage and help them to do so. I don’t think it’s right to push any one religion on a kid but it’s also not right to keep them from learning about them either. If he’s independently interested, maybe have an open family discussion where your son can explain why he’d like to attend church to his dad. Have a neutral family member or family friend present too if needed. Maybe if your son is the one explaining things he will soften a bit? Even if he doesn’t and you want to support your son, take him but be in front with your husband about it. Definitely don’t do it behind his back though.

I dont believe in religion myself. But I take my son to church so he can make a decision for himself. He enjoys it now. Hes 6, but wont force it on him

My kids father would always say stop talking my kids to church and he would tell then things like gods not really blah blah I still took them and eventually realized thats not the man I want to lead my house and family and left we still go to church and my kids love it

This should have been discussed before the two of you had children together.

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If your son is saying he wants to go to church and feels like it would help him THEN YES TAKE YOUR CHILD!

I don’t believe in god. My kid does. Yet that wouldn’t stop me from taking her to church if she asked to go. It is up to her to make her own decisions. I just support her.

I am a Nordic pagan and my husband is Christian and our children when old enough will get to choose what they want that’s how it should be you shouldn’t force your child one way or another he could go and then decide it’s not for him or he could become super religious but it’s on him to decide

I’m not religious at all but if my child was even the slightest bit curious I would take them. Add on that your child is struggling- go to church!

In any relationship regarding children you need to come to an agreement with your spouse before doing anything. Going behind his back just creates more chaos for your child. I believe children should be educated on different religions but not exposed to it just by going to that churches service. If after being educated about different religions they want to go to a service then they should be allowed to. If he’s struggling with life exposing him to a religion may make things harder, have you considered a counselor for him?