He is selfish…stop allowing it.
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Why are you asking? Get rid of him.
Marriage counseling or divorce?
I left my children’s father for this exact reason. I was working full time, doing all the house work and taking care of the kids completely myself. I couldn’t see the point in staying. So I left. Couldn’t be happier.
Ask him why you should stay…see what he says.
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Sit down with your husband and write down what your expectations are of him and his expectations of you. Listen to him and let him tell you what he can and can’t do without judgement. This is his truth, no matter if he’s wrong or not, he is communicating to you what he is not willing to do. You two are evolving as a couple. This should not be reason to throw away a marriage. You are going through a compromising stage and and you need to stand your ground. The problem isn’t he makes more money than you, it’s that he is using that to justify not doing housework and that is the problem. Tell him that you will not tolerate that any longer as it is disrespectful. Every time he tells you that, you need to have a consequence. No argument, just consequence that he will not like. He needs to unlearn that behavior. There are many steps prior than “throwing the whole man away”. He is providing for you and the family and deserves respect. You however are also now contributing and require the utmost respect as you are doing both.
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Well if HE is making more & HE isn’t going to do his fair share around the house, tell HIM TO HIRE A MAID for his share with HIS extra money…
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Um nope. Pay doesn’t matter.
From the perspective of a divorced mom that went through this… our opinions aren’t going to change things. What if we said, “He is right. You should do all the work.” Would it make things better for you having to take on that much responsibility? So here’s the only thing that matters right now, what you are willing to live with and what you are not. What price are you willing to pay for what you want? What will your home life be like if you make a stance? Will you feel empowered or will it make your home life miserable? Only you know the answers. The reality is likely not fair. You can be right and still end up unhappy. It took me 16 years to find my courage. Hopefully you have a happier ending than mine. I am certainly not telling you to get divorced over it. However, don’t live in misery. I hope you both can find a balance without making a tense household.
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Wow! He should definitely be helping. Your not a maid he should step up and be a parent with all that entails. Laundry cooking, cleaning and parenting
If you can’t get it all done … oh well
He’s taking advantage of you. If he’s making so much extra money then he can hire a maid or pay you if he wants you cleaning up after him. Only people you’re obligated to clean up after are your kids and after a certain age they can do it themselves too.
He’s being a misogynistic dick. You’re a couple, you should both contribute to the house. Big deal he makes more. Im a sahm, my husband works and still does I believe more than his fair share with the house and kids.
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You didnt get yourself pregnant. If he is capable of working a job he can be a father to his kids🤷♀️ a good father doesnt “help” with his kids or “babysit” his kids he will do what needs to he done no questions asked because he helped make those kids and I’m sure hes definitely helped make messes in the house too
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Ew I hate a man child
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It doesn’t matter how much you make you guys are a team. It’s his house and his kids to and he needs to pitch in the same as you. Tell him he needs to contribute more then just money and stop expecting you to do everything.
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He is the man of the house …outside stuff for him in his spare time …child care and inside for her …
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I would no longer have a husband.
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Girl, I would do what he says, then I would make sure that I made way more than him and then it’s his turn to do all the household chores. Flip that shit around on him.
It’s not the 50s n he needs to contribute! What a jerk! Sorry you’re going thru that! Use your new jobs money to pay a maid n say haha
I want through this. One day I said ‘well I’m doing it all myself but I’m not happy’ so I do it all by myself still but now I’m happy.
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Tell him no. You are not going to kill your self over housework. If he wants it done so badly he can hire a cleaning service. If he keeps throwing money in your face and you have a sustainable business you can work your own hours and go live in your own house and you won’t have to listen to his shit. He’s being a controlling ass. Give him your boundaries and if he does not respect them, it’s time to get out.
Ahhhh he’s an entitled dick.
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My husband used to be like that…or rather I should say EX husband…
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I have always said if I am going to be made to feel like I am doing it all on my own I for sure will be on my own. No need for to have an extra person to take care of and that is not going to help
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Get a maid and use his money to pay to get HIS shit done
My husband was like this and it took years for him to see how much I was doing. Start making a list of all the things you do, im sure it will surprise him. I suggest marriage counseling
I feel like when you have a partner it’s like having an extra child anyway I mean they can never find things by themselves and get so used to us doing everything for them and the kids that it will be hard to not have you doing all the things you do day in day out! The money thing is just ridiculous tell him that you are a team and need to be equal!
It’s about the hours you work in a day. Compare your hours… I am sure he will come up lacking? Tell him to put his money where his mouth is and stop being so cheap. With you both working now and you working an extra job the least he can do is pay someone to come in twice a week and clean… or whatever you need. Don’t let the bully walk all over you. You started this relationship as partners so when did did the little sh*t decide to make it into something else to suit him? If you wanted to get nasty, two could play that game but this isn’t about one upmanship.
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He aint no man, he is a boy at playing being a man
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Uh. My husband leaves the house to work, I stay home to work. He does what I ask him, sometimes bitching while doing so, but he does it because he knows I’ve done literally everything else.
No one can do it all. You can’t be expected to work full-time AND full-time parent. No one does that. There’s a reason why childcare is expensive lmao
Wages shouldn’t matter. You are working more than full time. It is impossible to do it all.
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He will probably not change - just leave!!!
It’s not fair at all since you both work full time. Your not his mom or his maid. And I don’t know about you but it doesn’t sound like a very fair partnership to me. My significant other makes more than me but he understands that my job is more physically and mentally draining so we help each other keep up on house and kid stuff cause we’re partners! Maybe some day you’ll be making more than him, if that’s the case is he going to take over housework and kids since you’d be the bread winner at that point?
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Throw the entire man out
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Id be a single mom before putting up with that
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Sorry but both of you should parent and do housework etc regardless if your working or not,but yes unfortunately this is the way of some men thinking they can just work and do nothing at home or as little as possible,yet will run and do shit for other people elsewhere if needed,sickening!!!where’s their commitment really!!!
Eff him, tell him do his own washing ect if that’s how he feels. Or if you want you could just chuck the whole man in the rubbish bin 
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Don’t do his laundry or cook for him if it’s so easy he can do it, your not his slave what a jerk
Do not do his laundry, cooking, etc When he has to pay for these things or do them, he will see
If he earns a lot more then Tell him to help you hire someone to clean the house for a couple hours a week if he won’t help x takes the pressure off a bit
I would be throwing him out , if your expected to do it all yourself and u probably will have to by sounds of it then why exactly is he there , if he isn’t willing to make the effort then why should u tell him it’s his child and his home also and if he wants to continue living there then he needs to get his ass out of the Stone Age era and contribute like other people do
Call me crazy but thats our job. I also work full time, over 40 hours a week, take care of the kids, keep a clean house and do the laundry. I take pride in that as a wife. Love taking care of my family physically, emotionally and helping financially.
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Stop doing the things that benefit him… his laundry, his meals , errands he needs etc… only do for yourself and your kids.
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Throw him in the trash bin where he belongs sounds like a jackass. If you both work full time the responsibility is both of yours.
I think it really would benifit more women to have this conversation prior to moving in. I too have a lazy man who sits on his phone all day! Only works 38 hours a week. Doesnt lift a finger to do anything!!! I work 50 to 60 hrs a week walk in dead and from the couch he asks whats for dinner!!! Cant wait till he moves out. Im a maid and have a child not a SO. Never again.
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He’s from the 1900’s 
I’d be be saying see ya later 
If my husband said that to me, he wouldn’t be my husband. There are three other people in my house besides me, they sure has hell help. I am not coming home after working all day and doing everything in the house myself. We work as a team in my home. That’s how it is suppose to be.
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Omg. This is something that gets on my nerves. Regardless of who earns more you should both be helping around the house if you are both working. The amount of issues that this has caused in my house is unreal but its now settled and both have equal chores.
This is some silly stereotypical woman in the kitchen crap and its not on.
You can do all this very successfully as a single mother however ehy the hell should you when your meant to be in a equal relationship
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he would be my x spouse
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I would be telling him if he expects me to take care of all household chores than I will be quitting my job and he can take care of all financial responsibility. This is just ridiculous, you aren’t his maid.
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Ha! He’s a dreamer or asshole! You pick!
From a guy…personally I never understand how any woman can be content staying at home n not working…being basically at the mercy of the man…if u split up…what will u have when u leave?? If lucky u may walk away with enuf to get by for awhile…worse…as in my gfs situation she after 20 years as a “housewife” she divorced n got nothing…barely the clothes she had…he got everything …the house the cars, kept his pensions etc… But as far as maintaining house…imo. if u are just being a housewife. House work should b mainly done by you …but with two working adults…it can n should be split up. Just because he may make more money doesn’t mean his job or work is anymore difficult or tiring than yours
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Well damn, he sounds like a fkcing dictator not a spouse🤦Im sorry, i feel for you💖 id tell him how its going to be, if he dont like it leave. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Quote him what it would cost for all that you do, hours etc. Being a stay at home mum saves you money and so beneficial for the kids. If u can work awesome but your not any less of a contributer if you don’t. Don’t let him bully you. Know your worth.
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Not even remotely close to being fair.
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If you’re going to work full-time, plus a part-time job on the side, keep house, and look after the children then just throw him out and be a single Mum. Tell him to send a cheque every month though. If you’re doing everything by yourself anyway then what do you need him for except a cheque every month.
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no it is not fair either he pulls his weight, or I would quite, tell him now he either helps or you stop working
If you both work you BOTH take care of the house and baby. My husband was just like yours until I put my foot down. We fought about it for an entire YEAR and I was MISERABLE. Just about went thru with the divorce when he finally woke up and realized I really was serious about it.
If you both work, and both claim to be adults, then he should be happy to do half of the housework. If you work more hours, then he should be happy to do more than 1/2 of the housework. If he’s a child, and you have to do everything, then he needs to either grow up, or get out.
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Don’t like the way I do things by all means do it yourself. 
I will gladly show you where the broom is, the window cleaner, the laundry soap. Kids are two full time jobs alone (they did a study lol). My husband has figured out if you don’t help me (even if it’s walking around the house grabbing dirty dishes or clothes) I don’t help you (meaning I don’t do your laundry, I don’t make a big good meal.)
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If you’re gonna have to do it all, work, housework, take care of kids, and can financially afford to do it on your own, you might as well so it on your own. If he’s not gonna help with housework, stop doing for him. Don’t cook for him, don’t clean up after him, don’t do his laundry and if he complains, write him an itemized expenditure of how much it would cost him for a cook, a maid and laundry services. He can either pay the money or get off his a$$. He lives there too, he dirties things and he can clean things. It’s supposed to be a partnership, not servitude by one spouse to another.
Topical of these new age men to believe things should be split 50/50, but OH NO not the house work… bc at the end of the day they want you to contribute money, bc it’s fair, but they don’t want anything else to do with what ACTUALLY runs a household. So it’s more 30/70. God forbid your business takes off and you make more.
I would work like you want, bc you should have something of your own, and work on the house on your time and if you ask for help and he declines, we’ll then it sits there. 
When I went back to work 3 yrs ago there were times the house didn’t get cleans up for days bc I was busy and if he said something my response was always, you were at work when I was, I’m helping our child, you know where the broom is.
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That’s just unfair and ridiculous
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He wasn’t raised right:roll_eyes:
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Send him back to his mama
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Omg please just focus on yourself and your children’s needs. If I was you I would come up with someway to give him boundaries. Like don’t clean up after him and don’t do his laundry. Don’t buy him his favorite foods. Basically make him take care of himself and his own personal needs. You are not his mother. Your his wife and those are not “housewife” duties. Those are responsibilities of the household you both should share. Look up covert narcissism and see if he fits. If you own your own business and work part time and take care of just your kids and your needs you’ll already be doing too much. There’s only so much time in a day. You’re literally setting yourself up for constant atress and no sleep. Think of the next 5 years. I stayed with my ex for about that long and I didn’t have kids. The stress caused me to become very sick with autoimmune disorders. My body and brain are forever changed and now I gotta struggle to maintain what I have. If you let your husband control your life like this I’m scared how your mental and physical will be affected. I wish you the best. Just try and put yourself first. The right partner wouldn’t want you to have all of that on your plate. 
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My husband and I split the housework and he even does the majority of the stuff outside while still helping me with the baby. We both work full time jobs.
He is treating you like he married you as a maid… you should want to help your partner where and when you can. Even when I’m off and he works all day, he still helps out.
If he values money so much and thinks it is your ‘job’ to take care of the house, then charge him for your services.
It’s also a good idea to give him a taste of what staying home and trying to do all the housework while caring for a baby is like, showing him 1st hand is the only way they learn. Also, it’s not HOUSEWIFE work, he needs to get that straight, it’s HOUSEHOLD duties and everyone living there that’s able can help out.
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No, it’s not fair. However, the agreement you made with your partner is important here. Did you discuss that you’d stay at home and take care of the front and he’d take care of the finances? You’ll have to renegotiate the terms of your agreement. No relationship is ever 50/50.
In my opinion, as the primary breadwinner in my household plus still doing most of the housework, this is how I negotiated a plan that made us both happy. Since money is thrown in your face, I would take what you both make and divide it by percentages. So if you make 30% of the household income, you pay 30% of the bills and do 70% of the housework. Make a list of chores and divide them accordingly, making sure to include things that involve the children. Ie, taking to and from school, dr appts, grocery shopping, bath time, making dinner, etc. Also don’t forget things like does he do household repairs, mow the lawn, etc? That should count as well. This will take a lot of compromise. Remember you’re the one that is changing the terms of your relationship, not him. Be patient. Maybe even a little couples counseling to get you over the hump.
I’m not saying it’s ok for him to sit his ass on the couch and do nothing while you work your tail off, but change is hard. If he’s willing to negotiate, I’d start there. Good luck!
Don’t ask him for more help, ask for a divorce instead . He doesn’t respect or value you.
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If you are going to be working full time (regardless of who gets paid more) then he needs to get his pampered ass up and help. Do NOT fix his meals, wash his clothes or do ANYTHING for him if he truly believes you should be the ONLY one keeping up with YALLS house and child. If he was a REAL MAN, he would help or stop complaining about your contributions. My and my husband both work full-time. I work 5 days anywhere between 8-10 hrs a day and he works 3-4 days 12 hrs shifts. If my husband after working in the plants can come home and help me cook or clean than so can yours.
I’d price out a full time maid, full time cook, daycare, add in time and money for doctors, dentist, activities, sports etc… And give him the bill for a year of your time. Not only would I not lift a finger for an entire 6 months now, but let him know where the door is if he has a problem.
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Tell him to grow up.
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Okay so it looks like you will have to show his ass better than you can tell him. Stop doing shit for his lazy ass. Laundry needs to be done only do yours and your children’s laundry and leave his shit wherever he puts it. Hungry? Cook enough for you and your children and make sure there isn’t anything left over not even a crumb. After you and the kids eat wash y’all dishes and leave his shit sitting in the sink. Tell him since he makes so much more money and feels he shouldn’t have to lift a finger he can hire a made and a cook to cook and clean for him.
You are sufering of económico violence!!! Be carefull
You don’t need your spouse.
Divorce him and take half. End of discussion.
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Some men need to grow up and stop being an ass
Throw the whole husband away 
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I’m going through a very similar situation. His mentality WILL NOT change. I say run for the hills.
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I dated a guy just like that for 17yrs. So glad he is not in my life anymore.
You are just a maid. Leave him.
Sound like it to do what make you happy or not
Girl go on strike! Screw him and his ungrateful unappreciative entitled ass
My husband and I have always worked together. He always does his part. Truth be known he cleans house better than me.
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Dont ask for help, but stop doing his stuff, laundry, dishes, lunches, etc. If money is the deciding factor then he can pay for thise services
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Your not a maid! Don’t let yourself get treated like one!
Show him on paper how much it matters After a divorce, when he has half the money he’s making now. I worked construction my whole working career and men are LAZY!!! After child support and alimony he won’t have shit. Then, when he’s faced with reality, tell him these are your choices. Mine started helping and picking up his crap when faced with sacrificing half of his earnings, 401k, savings, pension etc. DONT LET HIM BULLY YOU.
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Hand him the bill for all the cleaning and cooking and childcare for the week hahahahahhaha
Time to leave him. Problem solved
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So not fair you still pay bills don’t you so you still contribute to the financial part he needs to the family and home part its 50/50 not 30/70 and I say that because you are taking on so much more then half the work taking on the kids and house
Tell him to hire a maid
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Nope nope nope, that’s wrong. If it was both your ideas for you to stay home he shouldn’t be having complaints unless you’re doing nothing around the house. If you’re both working housework should be shared. I think it’s obvious but working or not he should be helping with your and HIS child.
Yeet the man into the sun.
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No. That’s both of your money. He needs to be treated like how he’s treating you. Honestly, stop doing anything. Take care of you and your baby. Tell him to pay for his stuff until he agrees that it’s stupid to do that.
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I’d not do a damn thing for him no cooking cleaning or laundry he can help or get out.
Mine has done this for years. I just do it anyways it’s not worth it it’s only one person added to my already pile of stuff to do. I want the kids to have a father it’s not worth giving up for dirty dishes and laundry
Respect yourself more than he apparently does and do what you need for you . some unsolicited advise…save some of your earnings for yourself and don’t let him know !
Tell him to pay up ,or get out for all the work you do around the house .