I badly need advice about my relationship. He and I have been together for so many years, so a lot has happened. Good and bad, but one of the worst things was what he said recently. We have a toddler, and he recently told me that he’s only with me for her. Also said he doesn’t want to ever marry me. He said a lot more hurtful things, but I’d rather not talk about those. I just have been wondering what to do. I still love him so much, but I can’t shake off the hurtful things he said. Especially the part where he said he’s only with me for our daughter. Now he is trying to be good and say he loves me, but I still feel weird about our relationship. As his love for me is so fake. I can’t get it out of my head, and I just don’t know what to do. I am also pregnant so that makes it harder. Help!!
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That’s not okay. As hard as it is, sounds like you may need to move on.
Well I think you should move on, I know it can be very difficult, but if he said this right now, I’m pretty sure that in the future it may be worse…I have a difficult situation too, but I’m trying to figure out what that’s the best I can do! 
He loves you as the mother of his child. He doesnt wanna be with you anymore. He made it clear. Move on and find someone that really wants to be with you and that loves you.
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Leave girl before he cheats or leaves u for someone else… he wouldnt have said that if he loved u… and sure doesn’t seem like theirs been an apology either!!!
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Leave and realize YOU deserve better! Its tax season honey man wants some stuff so he loves you 
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Leave…you don’t need to be in a relationship to raise a child together…as long as you’re both adults about it
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If he’s your spouse that means your married? If not, he’s your boyfriend and a waste of space.
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Walk away and find someone who loves you. Staying with him will only make him resent you.
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Leave him. He doesn’t love you. He cares about you cause your his child’s mom.
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Throw the entire man away and move on
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Leave, you deserve better then that!
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I know it’s hard but think you already know the answer. You have to leave. You deserve someone that loves you not a fake relationship
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Do not let him back peddle on hurting you. Make him prove he loves you. But I think he is just saying what you need to hear. Loving someone doesn’t always mean they are the right partner. Think of your children and how they would feel watching unhappy parents. I lived a pretty shitty marriage for 20 years and my kids suffered. Think long and hard about what he said to you. Love doesn’t hurt like that. Good luck
When men say things like that believe them… because down the line and years later he will tell you he told you!!!
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You deserve to be with someone who wants you.
I’m sorry he hurt you.
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Believe what he is saying. Don’t try to sugarcoat it.
There is a man out there who will love you so much better than this one is. Don’t be afraid of moving on just because you’ve put so much time and energy into this relationship when it doesn’t sound like he’s put much into it.
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Believe him. Ask him to leave or have help and pack up you and the daughters thing and move out. This man is not for you.
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He told you how he felt. You tell him how this all is confusing asf and you won’t tolerate being disrespected because he can’t control his emotions. If he does it again, leave.
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Walk away.
Why be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you
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Walk away and work on improving yourself for you and for your children.
Eventually the right person will find you.
Does he know ur pregnant
I dont know I think all long relationships have ups and downs and the downs can be horrible. I struggled so much when my daughter was born and for a couple of years. I said more than once to my spouse I wasnt sure I’d be with them anymore of it wasnt for our daughter and I know that was hurtful. I wish I could take it back. I do love my spouse and like him and am so grateful to have such a wonderful husband. I cant say with everything else in your life but its definitely a choice u have to make. Sorry you’re going through this. It really is so hard.
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Say bye. Trust me you should believe him when he gets hurtful. You and your baby should not go through this. He can visit and help with money. Without respect there is no love.
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Question: did this man want marriage when yall began seeing each other?
Leave, he doesn’t feel the same way about you even if he now tries to tell you he does. You deserve better and you will never be happy if you both don’t really want to be in this relationship. And the fact that he’s said other hurtful things shows you this isn’t a good relationship.
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Leave girl. Been there. And its much better to leave, find yourself, focus on your babies, and if your ready, find someone who loves YOU and your children. Not faking it just to make it work. Trust me, you’ll be a lot happier and you won’t always second guess every word he sahs
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Don’t put up with that he needs to make up his mind
I would work to get myself out of that relationship.
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I would start saving up without him knowing and move on.
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You either stay in this relationship or live if your not happy.its really up to you to decide
Was it during a fight. People say things they don’t mean when angry. Not right to do but it happens.
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Leave, dont stay with someone who doesnt want to be with you, you deserve to be loved and happy…
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Time to move on. No reason to be in a relationship if one person isn’t for it. It takes two people for a relationship to work(the obvious…). Last thing the kids need to be around is unhappy parents.
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Id walk away personally…you shouldnt ever have to hear that if he was any man he would say he loves you…not say he with you because of your child…theres your answer…you deserve to be happy its not healthy to stay if hes like that
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Im literally in the middle of getting divorced because of the same reasons. So many hurtful things being said to me amd about me. Litterally told me many times he was only here for our 2 boys both under the age of 4… Calling me names. Telling me he doesnt love me or respect me. I fought to have him stay for SO LONG. I finally boke. Last time he said he was only here for them I told him flat out that if thats thw case he shouldnt be here at ALL and needs to leave. That was 2 weeks ago today. Hes seen our kids twice in that time amd was only when he was getting loads of his crap out. Hes only video chatted twices as well. Be strong. Know YOUR worth.
You remember you are worth it and so is your daughter!!!
If you can start to put a small fund away every week, not for holidays, for you to spend on what you want. Feel better about yourself. Every couple goes through a bad faze… Just be sure its not always a bad faze
You deserve someone who wants to be with you. Time to move on.
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Time to stand up for yourself. It’s really hard but if you don’t walk now it will only get worse. You have to stand up for yourself. If you don’t you can never expect anybody else to. You need to not only do this for you but for your children
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Please stay… as he is staying for the kids… please stay for the sake of the kids too… i pray for you…
Throw the whole man away, you deserve much better!
Well to be a happy civil coparent you don’t need to be together for your kids. And if he doesn’t want to marry you why? Would you be with him? You can still have love for him since he is your kids dad.
It isnt worth being in a one sided relationship when there is a person out there for you that will love you unconditionally. Leave him and see a therapist. Just because you two arent a couple doesnt mean he still can’t be a great father.
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Tell him how you feel and gauge his response. That’ll tell you what you need to know. If you still want to leave get your ducks in a row and do it.
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Dads most likely feel the need to “stay for the kids” because leaving “you” actually means “losing them” for most fathers (despite the fact that we now know it’s unhealthy for kids to be left with a custodial parent).
I would offer him joint custody of your children, and try to peacefully talk about separating. As a “child of divorce” (whose parents stayed together “for the kids” until I was 18), I do not recommend staying together if you’re not going to be able to demonstrate a healthy relationship you would want your child to emulate.
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Never say anything you can’t take back is what I told my last one
Stay with him or don’t but I’d leave his sorry ass but it’s up to you and how you feel about it
honestly believe what he says and get out whether u love him or not its not worth staying in a relationship like that
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Don’t let a man tell you twice that he doesn’t want you- time to go
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Leave it won’t get better
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Never stay for the kids. I did. 13 years. Wasn’t worth it. Go be happy with someone that loves you in return.
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There’s a few factors missing here. In what context was this said? I’m definitely not saying what he said was okay, but I’m also in a mindset in my relationship where i have said the same to my SO. We are literally only getting married because of his son. My soon to be step son. He has the parenting plan clause against overnights with paramours and if it weren’t for that, I would never ever ever be gettujg remarried. Because my first marriage was so insane and i dont trust him financially (my SO can make thousands disappear with no accounting for it and no, there’s no drug or alcohol or gambling addiction issue). He isnt mature enough for the marriage I want but he tries and I do love him very very much. He knows we are only getting married because of his son. He also knows the only way I’m willing is some boundaries I’ve put down. Was your SO being mean about it ir was he just stating? Is there a why to him not wamting marriage all together or is it just to you. I will chime in that he was an utter a$$ for saying it knowing you are pregnant which leads to hormones and emotions and all that come with it. I hope it is just a difference in beliefs over him being a jerk and not worth your time.
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There are resources for women in your shoes that need to leave an abusive relationship but need help… I hope someone is able to post those here for you? It sounds like emotional abuse to me…no one deserves that! 
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Time to leave and find someone who knows your worth
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Leave that fish eyed fool 
it’s just gone be worse. Lift your head up
Keep the little dignity you have left and raise your children in a loving environment
He says, that now cause his side chick don’t want him no more.
Ask Him
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned it’s a possibility that your husband could be suffering from PPD. Could be a possibility? Maybe talk about that with him?
Leave babes you deserve love and, if you want it, marriage
Leave! Its easier when your not married. No divorce required. You and the kids deserve better.
Girl get out of that unhealthy ass relationship FAST. he can be a father without causing you misery. Besides kids pick up on those things and it’s very unhealthy for them.
Move on. You deserve better and your daughter deserves better.
Unfortunately only staying for the sake of children never works and will just make everyone unhappy especially your child , speaking from experience kids see and hear more than u realise
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Download him asap, if you stay with him just for your daughter ask yourself this, is this the way I want my daughter treated when she gets older? Honestly if you stay and your daughter sees that she’s going to think that’s acceptable behavior.
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My ex told me that and five months later he had a girlfriend.
He said that he made a very apparent that he was only there because of the child and that I was too stupid to pay attention. It is hurtful but I would leave now. It doesn’t get better
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People say things out of anger too
What are you waiting for— get the heck out of there!!
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We’re you guys arguing when he said that? Have you told him him how deeply that hurt you and have you tried counseling?
Time to move on. Not worth being with a man like that. You are worth so much more, and deserve better. 
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Drop that ass fast and RUN
Look, I may get attacked for this but… I did this o my oldest son’s bio dad… He wanted so bad to be married and have that life with me and my son. I played the part for to long and ended up making myself and him miserable. For a while I tried to make it better but…once the feeling is gone hun it’s gone. You guys trying to make it out is unfair, to BOTH of you. You both deserve to be happy. It maybe time to have a serious discussion on if you should actually be together of not.
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Oh Honey!! When people show you who they are believe them. 
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Was this a one time thing or does he say these things constantly? Breaking a family apart for a rash, dumb, very cruel thing to say once…is different than because of someone’s abusive pattern. If you guys haven’t had professional help and advice, please don’t determine your fate based off these. Regret is one of the hardest things to cope with.
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What if your children hear him talk like this in the future? They’ll think it’s alright! It’s not.
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Take your babies and leave! It only gets worse
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Misery loves company! Throw it away and throw the whole man with it.
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You need to think long term. Plan your escape. Get cold girl, ice cold. Squirrel away that money and bide your time.
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Sounds to me like an argument and those things were said out of anger. Don’t hold him at knife point over words that can be said without a clear mind, I know myself I will say things I don’t truely mean just out of attack or be attacked.
You need to sit down with him and ask him how he truely feels. At the end of the day you both decided to have a child, and that means working through the bad to be able to provide for a full home to your child, that being said if the home environment is toxic then that’s not good for raising a family in and separation may be the better option.
For the love of god I ask you not to take Facebook advice souly in your decision making that ultimately changes and guides your and your child’s life forever. If you guys need 3rd party help then get it.
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No wan should be treated this way, SPECIALLY while pregnant. Leave that man. You’ll be doing yourself a favor. If he’s being this ass*** with you rn, while you’re carrying his baby, what do you expect when the baby’s finally here. Children SHOULD not be an excuse to stay, children should be the reason to LEAVE. Because you should want the best for them, and a man like that shouldn’t be your example for your kids. Leave.
I feel like this should have had a little more context to it, but this does seem to be one of those incidents that changes things. You have to ask yourself honestly if you can move forward knowing he “may or may not” feel that way. And quite frankly, it doesn’t even matter whether or not it’s true. If it is, that’s devastating and an actual deal-breaker. You’d have every reason to doubt your future. But if it isn’t true, it’s sick he would try to hurt you like that intentionally when it isn’t even real. This does not have to be your life.
I know someone whose husband said that to her. As soon as the kids were old enough so he wouldn’t have to pay child support he was gone!!
Get out of the relationship. It sounds toxic and unhealthy. You don’t want your children to see someone treat you that way. You deserve better than that.
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Go to the courthouse and file for custody right away
He doesn’t love you just as the mother of his child and can’t force him to love you and can’t stay together just for child or children either life is short know you’re worth that you and your children deserve better
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Take inventory. We all say hurtful things when we’re upset. Only you know why you still love him. If the relationship is salvageable, work on it. If he is telling you marriage is off the table and you know it’s a deal breaker, then walk away. Don’t waste another minute. He is clearly telling you. But if this was just an argument and is a one time thing where he blurted it out, clarify it. I can’t believe how women encourage other women to leave based off one post. There’s a reason you are having another child with this man. My advice is to get counseling for yourself. Think things through. When you decide to leave it should be a calm decision based off facts, not emotions. There is no relationship without troubles and tribulations. To take the advice to find a new man is ridiculous. It’s not like you are going to buy a new one and unpackage him perfect. He’ll come with his own set of defects and dysfunction. You are pregnant and vulnerable and if you need to, separate. Give yourselves some space to think things through. There are a lot of steps prior to “throwing the whole man away”.
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Walk away,You need the peace for all of you.Sorry to hear you^re having another baby just follow your heart.
Even if you prolong your relationship, it will still end eventually , life is too short for you to live that way. The disrespect will only get worse.
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Grace he sounds like,he wants out!!!Nobody deserve verbal abuse.Its just as bad as physical, Yes go to counseling, talk about whatever, but why live unhappy.
Run. Get out ASAP. Any man who says that to you means it. You deserve more and so do your children.
I’m sorry this is happening to you but you definitely need to break up with him. If you don’t one day you’ll wish you did!
Who is this Jackline Jacobs asking everyone to message them??
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That was crude, rude and more than likely very true and that’s the sad part of the whole thing, almost, now place that beautiful little girl of yours in your shoes with those things being said to her by a man she has been with for years and loves what do you tell her to do being her mother watching what you did and allowed when she was just a toddler to be taught to her - bc that is exactly what you are doing is showing her it doesn’t matter how a man feels towards her or treats her or speaks to her she deserves it…think real hard on what you are teaching her as a young child is a cruel, hateful world - lower yourself to accept this treatment or walk away with kids in tow and find that ONE who will love, admire and cherish you every single day of your life bc believe me that ONE is out there just waiting for you to walk away from the situation and you don’t even know it. Good luck in whatever decision you make just remember whatever it is - go or stay - it’s what you are teaching your child(ren).
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It’s so crazy to me but I was in the same exact situation with my ex. It’s a horrible feeling and no one deserves to feel that way. It took me a bit but I finally left and then he wanted me back 
I met my amazing boyfriend after and I think of it now as a blessing in disguise! I’m so happy now and I now know it wasn’t me, it was him and all his issues.
Leave! You’ll be so much better off, and so will your children. It sounds like you would be better as a co parenting family since u both love ur daughters and there won’t be any resentment cause you’re not living together. All that matters are the kids.
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Walk away, his real true feelings came out. As much as it hurts. Its not 1950 staying for the kids is NOT the way to raise them. Prayers
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I know you are getting a lot of advice to leave but seriously I would look at them as words said out of frustration and anger I would try to work through the feeling with him not so much the words you both bought these babies into world you will both always be thier parents and both of you will have a lot to do for them from now to forever I think it’s well worth working together even getting help through therapy even if you guys seperate you still will both need these skills to co parent and raise healthy happy well adjusted kids good luck all the best to you and your family
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He doesn’t love you.
I’m sorry.
I was told this exact thing the other night on top of finding out that he was cheating 3 months into our relationship and we’ve been together almost 8 months and I’m 6 months pregnant with his baby. It’s always my fault though and I’m honestly so lost and hurt.
He said it was just the heat of the moment and asked if I wanted to pick out a ring as if everything was normal
Either therapy or he needs to go, so you can live a life with someone who isn’t emotionally abusive.
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Y’all both need therapy
My dad said the same thing when I was a little girl, and as soon as my brother and I were older and “grown”… He cheated and left her, never married her but married the woman he cheated on her with not long after they broke up… Moral of the story. Get it over with now girl, run while u still have time to have a decent life with someone else. Because it’s going to hurt so much worse later. It took a huge toll on my mom having been with the same person for so damn long.
I’ll pray that you will find peace with whatever you decide
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