What do you do when your SO tells you to stop helping your family (as in your parents that aren’t fluent in English? )? I recently gave birth and have my own little family. My parents call me here and there for help with little things like booking an appointment for them or ask me what does something mean ( like a letter or bill) or to do something small for them… well, my SO hates that I always help them out since I’m, not the oldest child ( im the five oldest of 8 kids), but they always call me for help with little things like calling there insurance booking appointments, etc… I honestly don’t mind it because it doesn’t take all my time up in the day. I also don’t do it until after I get my things done that I need to do in my home for my daughter and for him. But he always seems to have a problem when I do, and it’s frustrating because it doesn’t bother me to do it! I do it because I have the time TO DO IT. My parents also don’t press me to get back at them asap with certain favors, but he feels like they burden me, and that’s why I’m always tired. But I work a full-time job working from home; I just had a baby whos six months now; I always make sure things are cleaned around the house before he gets home, I always make dinner now that he’s finally found a full job time and I always make sure the laundry is done so he has clothes for work!!! Ugh, it’s so stressful!!! So YES, I’m gonna be tired !!! Who wouldn’t??? Sometimes when I don’t get something done, I get the “talk” about what I have you been doing all day, etc… I’m so stressed and feel like I’m not doing enough! & I definitely would never want to cut my parents out completely. It’s not like they call me daily for favors, and I have already told my parents to ask the other siblings, so thats why they stopped asking me about everything. It’s just some things. I just hate that it has to be like that because they are my parents, and I don’t want people to take advantage of them if they don’t fully understand the process of something. Let me know what you guys think?! I just needed to vent!!
My husband’s parents don’t speak English (not very well at least) and I help them constantly, and I will be there whenever they need me 
I will always find time for them. Our elders are not disposable.
He doesn’t value or respect your parents, and if he’s going to be with you, he needs to. He can accept it or leave IMO. Don’t let him ruin your relationship with them, and do not let him make you distance yourself from your family either. That can get scary real quick and it’s a form of control, wanting to have you all to himself. Absolutely not
Your husband is an ass
Yea forget that, you’re not paying their bills or anything like that. He’s being petty and sounds like wants to cut you off from your family to control you
I would get rid of the husband
stop telling him what they want/need, etc. if its that infrequent. let him ask you.
Keep doing those things. Tell him it makes you feel good to help. Chances are, he might be defensive on your behalf bc he feels you’re the only one helping, though you have other siblings. If he can’t get over it, maybe he needs someone who can help him see the light such as a religious leader or counselor. He should want you to honor your family. Thats an asset.
I don’t think that its your parents who are the problem, it’s your controlling husband.
Your husband is being ridiculous!! Don’t let him tell you what to do like that, if you want to help your parents then you help them!! He can’t tell you to stop helping them, he’s being very petty about it.
Tell him to get a grip of himself.
Does he think they are taking advantage of you and not trying to do it on their own first?
How would he feel about getting rid of his parents?
Tell him to damn bad. Those are your parents and you are going to help them! Sounds like he is jealous of your relationship with your parents
I think he sounds controlling. And disrespectful.ugh. id tell him he needs counseling.
He also doesn’t value you. You are not his kid,your a grown woman. He needs to respect your opinions.
He is being controlling and the fact even asked is rude like you’ve explained it doesnt effect him at all because you can contuine to do the things you need to for your family
It sounds like your husband thinks you’re his slave. No, you’re not being unreasonable by helping your family. That’s what family does! And who does he think he is to “talk” to you about what you have been doing all day. Sounds to me like you need to assert your boundaries, Girl. You’re not a piece of property, you’re a human being and have value and deserve to be treated as such. Your husband needs a wake up call, ASAP! What would you be telling someone else in your shoes? 
First off I would tell him he can’t help his parents either then, but I’'m assuming he doesn’t anyways and next I would tell him " Hit the door Jack and don’t let it hit you in the ass on the way out. But I am older now, been through it, done it and won’t do it again after I got rid of it.
Any man who gives you “the talk” needs to be shown out the damn door. Are you his employee or his equal?
I’m sorry but did you just say that you get the talk? Ummm no just no. He is your husband, your a grown woman, he is not your dad. Let him come home and help and do laundry and dishes. His responsibility too.
Make him take over some of the housework a relationship is 50/50 he needs to help around the house as well
So he gives you the “talk” when something’s not done around the house? What are you 5? what an ass you deserve better. Go live with your parents where you’ll be appreciated!
It sounds like he could contribute more to your household. No reason he can’t take on housekeeping, meal prep, child care, and ease your stress level and let you rest. You’ve had a baby, been working full time while he’s not been working? And anyone who wants to cut you off from your family should be viewed with caution unless your family is abusing you
If you don’t mind helping them I don’t see what the issue is. He is not the one helping them out and it’s not taking you away from other things so I don’t understand what the issue is. They are your parents they did everything for you when you couldn’t so do everything for them now that you can🙂
Oh my… Ur husband needs to get a grip of reality… There ur parents… Yes they call u cause they trust ur opinion… U have one set of parents many husbands can come…
You can replace him you can’t get new parents wish mine was a live for me to do for them
It really is a control thing … I promise you
It seems like he doesn’t want you helping your family because it’s taking time away Ron you doing things around the house. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do. If you want to help your parents then you help your parents. If something needs to be done around the house then he can do it
Your husband sounds like a Moron! Anyone would think your parents asked you and your husband for both ya kidneys with the way he’s going! Help your parents out girl… You said it! You don’t want them being taken advantage of because English is not their first language also have you ever thought that they ask you because you’re probably the one who will get it done and not push them aside.
Why do you have to work a full time job, take care of the baby, clean the house and cook dinner. What does he do? 
I would choose my parents and my children over any one else any day though. They’re your parents and you only have so much time left with them.
This is a complete control thing. He’s trying to isolate you from your parents. Just keep helping them. Have him contribute to household stuff, at least help with meal prep and other things. Good luck
Ewwww. He sounds like a scrub. You do it all. Tell him to help you then.
I completely understand your situation. I am a mom is 2 (7 and 2 year old) I work full time, clean, cook ect… and help my parents with everything they need doctor appointments, taking mom grocery shopping when dad can’t you name it. I honestly think that your husband is being very unfair and possibly like everyone else says controlling. Instead of him getting upset he should be proud and grateful to have a wife like you. He should be stepping up and here and there offering to help. Those are your parents the ones that raised you the ones who where or have still been there for you. Not sure what kind of relationship he may have with his parents but how would he feel or what would he do if you told him not to help his parents. My dear be who you are and how you want to be don’t let anyone tell you what to do or stop you from anything.
You help your parents. End of story.
he’s a f*cking dick head…
please keep helping your parents and tell ur a**hole partner to get his head out of his ass and help you more…
you are family I would love to have my parents to help
He’s too controlling. I’d let him know that you are going to continue helping your parents because you love them too and it’s the right thing to do.
Life is too short !
They are the people that brought you into this world ! What if they both were gone tomorrow.
That man of yours needs to apologize to you !!! Those are YOUR people, they love you unconditionally !!
Sounds like he needs to get his priorities straight hun not you
It sounds like he’s a control freak who wants to isolate you from your family. Why can’t he clean up a bit, wash clothes etc? He needs to focus on taking care of himself instead of ordering you around.
Your spouse is being an asshole. You’re not going out of your way to help them. Their fist language isn’t English. And they aren’t asking for money. Tell him to stick it
Yeah if it’s something you’re okay with doing, then honestly it’s not his business how you spend your day. You work, clean, doing alllll the mom stuff doing allll the wife stuff, and you’re being a good daughter. I wouldn’t cut my parents off, I’d cut off the husband that has zero regard for their well being 
One of the symptoms of abuse to come is also to cut you off from family and friends! Tread lightly…
Fastest way to hurt a relationship is to mess w ones parents , one day it will be only memories … Stay strong and Steadfast about this momma bear…there are certain things that are an individual’s decision and this I believe is one of them …good luck sweetie
Hey finally found a full time job? Umm yeah kick him to t he curb. You have been handling this on your own anyway… and you will be less stressed without having to take care of a man child.
Sorry but your “man” sounds horrible and I use the word “man” loosely. Maybe he should get off his ass and help instead of making things worse by trying to guilt you. 
He needs to get his panties out of the twist
Sounds like you know that what you’re doing isn’t causing you exhaustion & dont mind. If you are okay with it, then dont let him try to convince you otherwise. I’d guess he is not as close to his family? Perhaps it’s a jealousy issue in regards to that. Tell him they have nothing to do with your feeling tired & that your grateful to speak to them as often as you do and assure him you know your boundaries & his input isn’t neccessary.
Your parents are going to be there when bf is gone
I would help them he can get over it he is trying to control what you do
My in laws ask me for help occasionally too with the English part… I dont mind because I get it that it’s harder to understand what is really being said… they get taken advantage of alot by others because of it…
if it isn’t financial assistance that he’s paying for, I’d tell him to push off… disclaimer—that’s not exactly the words I’d use, but you know, censorship. on top of the fact that regardless of whether he is working or not, his butt better be here at 5pm right after work and contributing — that paycheck might be something but if you ain’t doing your own laundry and cooking a few times a week and doing the yard work and taking care of the kids—you can go. Sorry not sorry.
I made it very clear in the beginning that my mama and my grandparents were the only family I had left beside my siblings and I refused to move too far. No one is going to tell me to stop helping my family!!
He wants to try to be controlling, tell you, you need to be doing more when you’re doing more than he is… Being a mom is a full time job, then working at home is a job, keeping a home is another job too!!
Tell him To step up and pitch in more like a partnwr and teammate is supposed to. Whem you see your partner struggling, you support, you don’t tear them down with your selfish words and lazy behavior!!
What I wouldn’t give to help my mom and dad again.
That’s BS! It’s your family you can help them if you want.
If the tables were turned… smh
He’s inconsiderate! My Parents could never be a burden! Put him in his place at once cause he’ll never stop!
And anybody asks me what I’ve been doing all day when I’ve got a toddler, work and chores!!, is an INCONSIDERATE JACKASS!
If he talks about the 1 or 2 things you didn’t do then stop doing everything. He will learn to be grateful for everything you do. And as far as your parents, tell him to f-off. Our parents won’t be around forever and you’ll miss the little things you do for them. Help them all you want. So, take a deep breath and make him sit down and talk to him about it. If he gets hostile over it then you know you’re probably gonna be better off without him. You got this!
Your parents are your parents and they made many sacrifices to help you and your siblings… help them as much as you can and if it comes to something you can’t do ask if one of the other siblings can help with it …
My anxiety reading this was REAL intense he is controlling you and he is trying to separate you from your family , he is displaying classic narcissistic traits . It costs him nothing not his time or his money so what you do with your time is your business simple . And the fact he gives you the “talk “ about what you’ve done all day is a major major red flag . I’m coming from a place of concern , your parents will always be your parents it is that simple and if you want to help them or anybody else that is your decision as long is it doesn’t impact your life in a negative way . I would really not accept this behaviour whatsoever . If you cave in to this you will be left with no kne
Sit him down an tell him that is your mom & dad an they are a priority an you are not his child so please trust u to be an adult an help your parents an u will love him even more for letting you be yourself
Tell him to pull the dildo out of his ass and to suck it. If your family is only asking for help with little things like appointments and such, and not asking you for exorbitant amounts of money he had no control over how many times you take to your parents, or help them. This is just the beginning of the controlling phase. First is but of your family and friends, then it’s you’re not allowed to go places without him, random phone checks, accusations, the whole shebang. Drop his ass before it gets to that point.
Sounds to me like he’s a controlling a-hole. If anyone i am with tells me to stop helping my dad, they’re gone. Period. You never know how much longer you will have them for so don’t ever turn your back on them. Value every single minute you have with them while they’re here
Sounds like he’s insecure about something to me, just IMO. It’s clearly not a big deal and a normal thing for families that are Hispanic. My grandmother raised me, she was Cuban. If she needed help I helped her, she was my PARENT. He needs to spend just a few days in your shoes to understand. Hopefully it doesn’t take that for him catch on and to contribute to his family.
Don’t stop because you will know you did what you needed to do for them. You will miss doing that when they are gone! What does he do to help when he gets home from work if you have to do everything before he comes home? Think hard about that!!
Throw the whole man away…its not like your parents are being demanding or even asking all that much!
Fuckkkk that! I take care of my parents FULL TIME and I DARE my man to tell me to stop helping my parents. Like… this is the woman who birthed me from her womb in order for you to HAVE DINNER AND CLEAN CLOTHES. So he needs to act right and show some damn respect. You are ALLOWED to do whatever you want:clap: yall arw clearly having sex if you just had a baby. So if the house is clean and you working and you’re taking care of the kid, what is he bitching about?! He sounds like jealous child who needs go back up off you! He’s mad, he wants you to be his mama! 
He can get over it. At least they’re not coming at you for money. That is your parents. You only have them once. You keep doing what you feel you need to do.
I feel like if it don’t stop you from taking care your house hold keep doing what u are doing for your parents god bless you
Sounds like he is trying to be controlling one thing I know is my parents were always there for me and I would help them with anything even bought my mom a brand new car bc that was Nothing compared to everything she has done for me including watching me kids for free while I work and I wouldn’t give a damn what no one says I would do it all over again if she were still on this earth parents aren’t going to be around forever.
Don’t let your SO play the blame game and try to cut you off from your family. You can replace him but you can’t ever replace your parents if you allow yourself(him) to sever those relationships
Keep helping your family and tell him to get over it!
Sounds to me like hes a lazy manipulative selfish creep and thats before i get to the issue he has with helping your parents. Start cleaning half the house, cook half a meal, throw out 1 of every pair of shoes he has then go hang out with your oldies when he gets home from work
Leave the man. Help the parents.
dont stop helping them… when there dead u are gonna wish u had done it… they took care of u, taught u how to eat with utensils, how to use a toilet, I think u can spare some time for them. I have a husband and 2 kids and take care of my parents! I’ll never not help them! They are everything to me…
Sounds controlling and narcissistic.
I do what I want, and if that means I don’t get something done to help my parents- guess what- everyone’s going to live. My ex husband was like that and we didn’t even have children, it was just a control thing. You’re supposed to take care of your parents. Especially if they are vulnerable and can be taken advantage of.
He sounds like kind of an arse. Helping them isn’t making you tired, doing everything around the house is.
Okay first off do they live with you ? How does he find out about your help ? No man or woman partner friend or spouse should feel the need to control another’s life or relationship with their parents. BUT ofcourse it is a whole different scenario if you are telling him and are somehow coming across like a complaint. Everyone is validating that his controlling ways is wrong so NOW the ball is in your court
Leave him!!! He’s trying to get you away from your parents and whatever friends you may have. He wants to control you!!! I was in a marriage just like this! He wanted to cut me away from everyone!! Found out years later, 11 to be exact, he had been cheating on me for years!!! Don’t EVER feel sorry for him, that’s what he wants!!! You take care of YOURSELF!!!
I’m sorry but I would give anything to get a call from my mom asking for help. I miss her everyday.
I wish I still had my parents to help out, sad your husband has to be that way
Wow! I mean definitely don’t do it FOR them but absolutely sit and help and walk them through. They are learning so shame on him.
Please realize first and foremost he is a bum. You both work full time but you do all the cooking and cleaning? And he gives you a “talk” when the house isn’t up to his standards?
Of course you’re tired! You are doing it all. He can help or shut up.
And if you’re afraid of his reaction to that definitely run.
But yes, continue helping your parents.
Doesn’t matter what you do he’ll find something to bitch about. He doesn’t want a spouse, he wants a mommy.
That’s really sad. We have to all remember that our parents took care of us for 18 plus years and when they get older and need help, we should do the same. Good luck to you
Ask yourself if you would want your daughter to be in this situation and she tells you this. This can lead to much worse if not dealt with.
What a selfish SOTB. You sound like a good daughter, mother and wife. He needs to help you . Don’t stop helping your parents.Have a talk with him.
Girl do what you want! That’s your family. They will always be there!!! Fuck him!! He’s controlling.
Yeah forget that. Continue to help your parents. He has no right to even tell you to stop. It’s only sometime and even if it wasn’t who cares. Now if you were the one that got tired of helping them that’s one thing but sounds like you have a great relation with your parents and he’s jealous of it
You only have one mother and father…it’s the little things that show how much you love them…tell your husband to get over himself!
Keep helping your parents you in it have them for a while they will be gone and you will be sorry May God bless you. Love you gramma Emily
Hes a controlling narcissist who wants to isolate you from your family, RUN!! fast and as far away from him as possible, it’s only going to get worse!!
Sounds like your parents aren’t asking for much! Remember you’ll ger there one day & see how what you’ve told your parents will make you feel; when the same thing is told to you! I’m the youngest also did what you’re complaining of! Never would I tell my parents what you have!
He should never make you feel like that about your own parents. They’re like off limits to any sort of bullshit…
You work a full time job, have a 6 month old that you tend to while working, clean, cook, etc. and you get the “talk?” Ha! If he were my husband he’d get the “talk.” What’s he do other than work outside of the home? Do less for him and never stop helping your parents. He needs to help you more!
No. Just no. Don’t let him do this to you!
Very controlling. I couldn’t do it I’ll be damned if my husband comes home to have a "talk"with me about how I doesn’t get stuff done in a day. He would be divorced real quick. I’ve been helping my mom, driving her around to get appointments recently. I don’t mind it. I’m just home doing nothing anyway. (Other than recently) I’ve been getting ready for baby #2. Due early next month. But, that’s a huge red flag if he sits you down to have a talk about what you’ve done all day. My husband never does that. Nor would he tell me to stop doing favors for my family. Sounds like you need a new man. Because you have a controlling little boy.
You have a full time job, take care of your 6 month old, cook, clean, and do laundry (5 things).Meanwhile your husband has a full time job (1 thing) and comes home and gives you a “talk” when a couple things are not done? You have a much bigger problem than him not liking you helping your parents. That problem is your spouse! Keep doing whatever you want for your parents and stop doing things for your spouse until he appreciates all you do and actually helps instead of stressing you out.
Spouse need to stop being jealous of your parents you just had a baby 6m ago I didn’t really start managing to do more than laundry or dinner until recently at like 14 mo
To hell with that fool. Sounds awful controlling to me. And by the way, what is he doing to help at home besides work? Cause it’s not all YOUR job. Ugh.
I cant even with the TALK thing, wtf stricter than a boss?
Is he a husband or a boyfriend because I’d never make him a husband