I counted seven times you call him your “stepchild”!!! Maybe if you would have loved him unconditionally from the time he was one…and NEVER call him your stepchild…you could have raised a more respectful child. He’s not a “stepchild”!! He’s YOUR child. As a stepmom myself, I loved them from day one and made sure that I continually told them that I love them. As a family unit, all your children should feel like they have an equal part of your heart and soul.
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Tear that ass up n i bet they will listen
Your house NOT the step childs!
Try connecting with him. I’m sure he’s only acting this way because he feels left out?
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Just go get personal help for all of you. Count your blessings to
Be having a family
and go fix it NOW. 
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So many of you assuming that she mistreats him or singles him out. Maybe the dad and birth mom tell the child that she is just stepmom and not his mom. Maybe birth mom tells him he doesn’t have to listen to step mom. Maybe he has behavioral issues that need to be addressed, despite stepmom being a good mom. There isn’t enough information to be bashing this lady, so step off the high horse and offer practical advice.
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When you got with the dad you both should have talked to all the children together and told them the house rules. The mom and dad should be on the same page. Get the dad and all together and let all know how its going to be. You be the parents
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Tear his ass up you are the parent he s the kid and yes you are allowed to correct your children stop or otherwise ask a cop or social worker to many kids get away with this behavior that’s why we have a bunch of bullies a d street thugs growing up now take him in hand now or visit him in jail later and his dad needs to step up a d be a dad there is nothing cute about a disrespectful bullying brat ave a long talk with his dad a x if he won’t step up ask him if he wants to see his son in jail or worse a coffin because that’s where he’s heafing
Have you told his dad? Tell him hes a child and he will not act that way whop his but
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You are a great person
Have you reached out and talk to the father? Tell him he needs to crack down on his kid. And at the same time, if he is living with you, you have just as much say as discipline. And have you thought about how he feels. Living with his dad and wife. You all avoiding him could be taking a toll on him. Try to include him as a family, since that’s what he is. Try to interact with him, ask to play games with him. He is probably feeling excluded
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You have been with the father for eight years, so you have been in child’s life since he was only a 1 year old? may be more to this story
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Maybe if you stop referring to the child as “the step child” things would probably be a lot more peaceful at home. A properly loved child is not going to act this way. All children have their moments and try to test boundaries. It appears that after all these years, you haven’t accepted this child as your own. My husband introduces my two daughters as his children, not his step child. They adore him. We’ve been together 7 years and counting. They respect him. Respect is earned.
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First off
It’s not a step child
It’s a bonus child
So I think either u need to divorce him and move on to a man with no kids or kids u take as bonuses
Or
U need to get counseling cuz that’s not healthy
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Drop chuckie to the nearest orphanage or nut house & enjoy your life.
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Some of you wouldn’t even begin to understand what it’s like to be in this moms shoes . She’s needing some help to deal with her situation unless you have been there you are in no way able to play dr Phil and point fingers !!!
I feel you momma !!! I have a beautiful family of 6 (I better say that before you all correct me for using the word step) I also have a step daughter who demands a lot of attention also . I like to take control of the matters so that we’re all on the same page . We have order and maybe it would be good for you to start the day on your terms ? Get up before all the kids . Also before bed have your step son read you a book . Introduce some chores in exchange for fun things to do with dad (one on one) or even with you . All kids need one on one mum time . I personally do that by brushing my daughters hair for school in the morning , that way she reads me a book and it improves her reading and betters relationships . It’s all about creating a healthy environment but please make some time for urself I’m sure hubby can watch the kids so you can recoup again . Force that love into your child haha be so annoying that that child gets used to it . And most importantly don’t tolerate any bulshit . U can add me if you like we can help each other
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Get video of how he acts when your husband isnt home. The child needs help. There is something wrong. If your husband wont get him help it’s your job to protect your children and if that means leaving then you leave. That child will only become worse and one day he will be the size of a man…
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Maybe u should stop calling him stepchild…and his kid…u r married so he’s ur child too. Kids feel and react based on how the “parents” are treating them. Ur doing a “splendid” job…ur right though, he shouldn’t live with u
Therapy to find out what’s going on with the child and better ground rules that both parents enforce. This is a rough age for allot of kids in these situations and it won’t get better unless you take action now to get help for the child and make sure Dad is backing you up on everything.
You’re letting him get away with it. Unless father is restraining you from discipline then step up and tell him off. You’re failing your own children and this stepchild. If father is giving you grief for disciplining his child then yeah, walk away. That shit isn’t going to get better and will just divide the household more. Not fair on the younger kids if no one is gonna fight their corner
The child may feel he was abandoned by his father and is unconsciously trying to prove it. If he thinks the divorce was his fault (& many children do) he’s trying to prove that his father will abandon him to for the other children and you will also abandon him. You leaving will cement that. Is he a behavior problem with his. O
first u need to let your husband know what is going on then maybe therapy to see what is going on from there… this might be a way that the child is trying to get negative attention and doesnt know how to get it the right way. But also if that is the case and therapy says there is nothing wrong just trying to get attention in the wrong way then it would be time to install some discipline at that point. there is no reason for the disrespect on any level. But id find out first what is going on before that…
Counseling and positive reinforcement. Punishments that fit the situation and I can not stress this enough but love him, treat him the same as your own children and have patience.
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Dealing with the SAME issue if not more on my end with mine as well… that breaking point is knocking at the door
So the dad has custody of the child, that’s rare so that tells me mom has some issues. Does he visit mom is the behavior worse after he’s with her. Moms probably putting stuff in his head so he’s projecting that on to you. He’s 9 he doesn’t know how to express or control his emotions, plus he’s coming into the beginning stages of puberty. That’s extremely hard on boys puberty absolutely sucks for boys. Get him into wrestling or something like that. It teaches discipline, obedience, self control, it’s great for boys. Also he probably treats you that way because of how you treat him, he understands non of the things he’s going through maybe have some compassion. Get dad the book raising a modern day night so he knows how to help his son too. If all’s you guys do is avoid him of course he’s going to act out. My heart breaks for this young boy, you’re ruining him.
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“The step child” says A LOT. This child knows hes being singled out. The behavior stems from that, not the other way around.
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I have a step granddaughter, & from experience, I’m going to say this,he feels different because he isnt yours& may feel out of place, & ignoring him,is never going to help,you have to show him love,yes,hell continue to be rude,till he isnt,anymore,however,it will be more beneficial than ignoring him,theorpy couldn’t hurt eigther
I get this completely!!!
What does his Dad say because it should be marriage first, kids second. You guys are the foundation for the family. I am not super pro spanking but I honestly think some stubborn hard headed children need to have more discipline. Maybe his dad needs to spank him next time he acts so disrespectful. That’s not fair to you to have to be miserable and walking around on eggshells!!!
And please spare your over dramatic comments people unless you’re in a similar situation don’t judge. Not all kids are naturally kind, some are hateful and angry out of spite for the wrong person.
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Agreed counseling!!! You have nothing to lose at this point! I put 2 of my 3 kids in because of teenage and playing parents against each other issues. Did WONDERS!!
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In all that you said you have not mentioned whether you talked to your husband about this at all. Family therapy is good. There is so much you have not said like does your husband know anything or is it all done after he leaves
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I think you may need to check with counseling.This is a child and or children.There could be underlying issues with the child.
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I d get proof - in case his mother or husband do not believe it - ESPECIALLY his disrespect towards you!! Does he ever go to his moms?? if not- why? Talk to husband and let him know ALL of your feelings!! But try all avenues before leaving!!
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You need to look to see where your husband plays his part. I’m a mother my baby is with us full time and we only had problems when dad wasn’t showing her attention. I have all of our kids rotten and when I mean what ever they want but there is always something missing. Try taping it and sitting down with your child to see what’s going on. I’m sorry it’s unhealthy for those other children to be around this. You never know what is going on with them because of this. Get some help for everyone. Prayer for you❤
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Dad needs to step in and have that kid checked by a shrink.
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Therapy for the entire family has to happen immediately! First of all, your husband knows what his son is like. For him to continue to allow this to continue is WRONG. By having the entire family go to therapy, the therapist can show how this situation is affecting the whole family. The fact that you are thinking of leaving is very serious. You are probably afraid to tell your husband that. But it’s so important that you ALL go to therapy ASAP. Otherwise I would say that you have no other choice but to leave and take all your other kids with you except for that son. Leave him with his father and let him deal with him. I hope this helps
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Video the behaviors, show him w dad and ask them to work with you to come up with a solution. Sometimes seeing himself act that way is enough to help change behaviors but theres no exaggeration in a video, it just is what it is.
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So talk to your husband. But don’t bash on his kid. Video the kid in action and show the dad
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Get yourselves to a paediatrician and behavioural councillor. Similar issues faced. Diagnosed with ADHD, DYSLEXIA, PTSD and some. Transformation occurred with only 3 weeks of treatment. No amount of strong parenting can occur until your child has professional guidance and support. Your other kids will need professional support too, a support group perhaps where siblings get to share. Take control or walk away.
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For those saying to leave and that child is bad … shame on you. That child obviously has abandonment issues now for the fact he isn’t with his mother for whatever reason. Has something horrible happened to this child? Did the mother pass away, abuse him, leave him? Does this step mother treat him right or does she ostracize him? He is 9 and she has been in his life, so we assume, since he was a baby… 8 years… there is something going on. That whole family needs help and that child needs acceptance and love.
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Counseling. Also dad should address it. I do believe the changes are why…doesn’t necessarily excuse it but thsts probably it.Step famies take and average of 7 yrs to adjust to the changes may be longer. But it needs addressed. Professional help me be needed…family and individual counseling. He needs to learn healthier ways to cope and channel.his a get. Harmong other is not acceptable. Thats a safely issue
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It’s your husband who is mean to you. He shouldn’t let this child do what he does. And YES protecting your children from a bully is ALWAYS a reason to leave!!!
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A child only does what you alow him/her to do. Is what i waa always told…so to each its onto the conlusion of the issues i suppose in other words a whooping is not out of the point of view:roll_eyes:
Dad needs to step in take control of the siturion to found out whats the problem and try to come up with a solution as a family
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The child might be dealing with changes of parental guidance and that’s his way of showing it.
Did your husband speak to him about his behavior? Maybe he needs some type of counseling? Sorry you’re going through this 
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I would leave but still allow my kids to have their dad in their lives but if he truly cares he needs to get his kid under control
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I’m pretty sure the child is testing his limits. Put a very firm stop to his behavior. He needs to show you respect as an adult in the home. Don’t let a child break up your marriage.
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Ffs people.hes poundin on the kids…hell be poundin on her next…than wat?? Therapy n positive reinforcement?? Hes not a puppy…hes 9. She needs to spank him
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Where is the father to discipline him?
Try spending one on one time with the 9 year old.
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Grow a set and put down so real rules with even more real consequences
I wouldn’t call it a “mess” children react because of different environments and especially the stepmother part, that’s just how they react. You shouldn’t leave your marriage because if that. Work it out. Don’t just leave because you feel like it and it’s hard.
The step child? I think your the problem here. 
What is ur husband doing about his child…have u talked to him about it
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This is one reason God intended for us to marry one person then have sex. And STAY married. He knew it would be a huge mess and IT IS
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I myself have been a step mom the First time I was a step mom I had 2 step daugthers and at first we didnt all get along because their dad married another woman. And we had some moments where they were disrespectful but they grew out of it. And I just showed them love and as to this day they still tell me they love me they are in their 20’s I was there step mom for 13 years. Now I am a step mom to 2 boys teenagers at that and I want to pull my hair sometimes and yes sometimes they are not respectful but I talk to the dad and he makes sure that he talks to them about they way they treat me. You as a step mom needs to set boundaries for the step child if he is beating up on the younger ones then you need to punish him there is no sense in that. I went through this the first couple of years of being their step mom you are the adult and you need to let him know that. Find out what is going on in his life to make him act like that. There could be trust issues there could be abandoned issues feeling like he doesnt belong or something going on at school . communcation is the key to making this work. Consuling is something you should look into so you can make you life and his life better. Also if he does see his mom and acts out after words just know that he doesnt want to leave her. But people act out towards the people the love the most so just show him love and let him know that you love him things will get better if you take the steps to make it better.
Get your children away from that mess!
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Try being more loving & accepting.
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Honestly, he is 9 they been together for 8 yrs. It doesnt seem like the kid went through many changes. Unless he just now stopped seeing his mother… If not it just seems to me the kid feels like he doesnt have to respect the wife because she isnt his real mother… The lady is expressing how he gives her anxiety to stay alone with her kids to watch him… If he is hurting his younger siblings id be scared to… Yes love works but that can only go so far if there isnt set boundaries… Am I the only person who has seen kids that are literally killers at a young age? She probably tried but his anger is to much for her…
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This is a conversation you have with your husband
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Never marry a guy with kids
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Get out before they get hurt.
For starters, how about stop calling her/him “stepchild.” Do you do this a lot? I know I’d get tired of my father’s wife calling me stepchild instead of “This is John’s daughter, Sarah.” Stepchild sounds separated from the rest of the family.
Secondly, your husband allows his child to disrespect you. Not cool. He needs to grow a pair and let his child know in no uncertain terms that disrespecting you will not be tolerated or the ass whoopings will commence.
Therapy might help you, but I think that you should lean him over your knee and spank him. It works faster than therapy and doesn’t cost anything. I hope you live in a state like Wyoming where are you allowed to spank kids, some time you just have to. Talking about it doesn’t always work.
Counseling and dad needs to nip that in the butt real quick or send him to daycare when hes gone
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Have you discussed your concerns with your husband? Is he aware of this child’s behavior? If so why hasn’t he intervened? If he doesn’t believe you then maybe you should hide a camera and record the behavior. Also how is your relationship with your husband? I would suggest family counseling because you and your children are living in a toxic environment. It’s not fair to anyone.
Needs a good ass whooping and a bar of soap.
Ohhh hellno… pick up a belt an SPANK HIS ASS…HIS ASS ONLY…BUT SPANK HIS ASS… you hav to do it nof his dad of hell. Never stop