My stepdaughter is three years old, and I’ve been in her life for two years now and was pregnant when I met my fiancé, it wasn’t his child, but he took over the dad role when the man left me, and she absolutely loves her brother. We are pregnant with a little boy of our own, and all of a sudden, she started acting out. I’m 29 weeks pregnant, and she’s known for a while. And one day she just started telling everyone she doesn’t like them and doesn’t like the new baby and wants him to go away, and also says she hates her mom all the time when she’s over here. And she’s been telling her five-year-old sister she doesn’t like her and wants her to leave her alone and go away, along with my son, me, and the new baby. We give her equal attention when she’s here and not with her mom, so we don’t pay more attention to one child more than the other. We are not sure how to get her to be more comfortable with the situation, considering she’s only 3. And we are not sure how to get her to stop acting out. Absolutely any advice on what to do and how to go about the situation would be fantastic! We have all three sat down as parents and tried to come up with a solution to the problem, but the things we have tried haven’t worked.
Its normal . give her attention and when baby does get her involve her as much as possible.
She is jealous of the new baby. She is only 3 alot of mixed emotions going on in her little mind. My 3 year old was so happy then mad about his sister being born and after he got to hold her he was happy. He is her protector. She prolly feels like shes getting replaced maybe do a day with just you and her
She might just be feeling a bit jealous and scared of the new addition, I personally think sitting down all together was a great idea, perhaps maybe plan some activies together with everyone involved, with my daughter I bought her a baby doll to take care of when I was pregnant with my son, she was great with him when he was born
Doubt give her attention when she acts that way. That’s what it is about.
It sounds normal for a baby of the family to feel replaced and by the sounds of it u 3 parents are pretty close so she maybe feeling not does lose 1 or 2 shes gonna lose everyone to this baby the best way i can think is to provide her with own bondig time often so its about her and even the 3 of u to bond with her together but u can aldo keep try8ng to warm her up to the baby and maybe find her her own baby to adapt and learn with
not too helpful but welcome to the terrible threes! everyone talks about the 2s but i think the 3s are the worst! My almost 3 year old told me the other day that she didnt love me and called her dad stupid for taking a straw away from her… shes super dramatic. she will grow out of it. when she says stuff like that just reassure her that you care and want her around and its okay if she wants to be alone but its not okay to say hurtful stuff eventually it will stop and she will realize that what shes is doing isnt right.
Probably just more about her age, 3 year olds are jerks. 
Just keep her routine consistent and make sure rules are the same in both households and the consequences. She should grow out of it, if not seek professional help.
Completely normal. Watch for regression in habits. Its scary being that age and having so much going on. Love on her a little more give her extra time alone. Make her feel special.
This ones hard because she’s only 3. She’s prob just throwing tantrums for attention. My kids are 6 years apart and the oldest still says I ruined her life by having her sister. They get along sometimes but mostly just fight.
She may also have gender disappointment maybe she secretly wanted the new coming baby to be a girl
Try to give her more 1 on 1 attention now and dont forget she’s only 3. She’ll need attention too when baby gets here.
Oh girl its gonna happen my middle child was like that when I was pregnant with my youngest (baby is barely 2 weeks) at one of my ultrasounds she said she was gonna kick my babys ass 
it’s normal really.
It’s normal. This happens even with older children. 
A three year old doesn’t know any better and honestly it’s a bit harsh.
My brother was about 11 when our stepbrother (15) went to live with my parents and he used to ask if they could “return him” 
ALL THE TIME.
Try to involve her more in activities that could make her bond with her sister. (pick an outfit, come to ultrasounds, things like that)
Even if that doesn’t work, as long as she does not harm the child, don’t be so harsh on her. Forcing it won’t make it better and eventually it will pass.
She’s 3 that’s pretty typical 3yr old behavior whether there is a baby coming or not tbh. She and everyone else will get through it and grow out of the wonderful stage
Maybe she doesn’t like being shared around from mum to dad to stepmum to brothers here and sisters there.
It’s normal for a 3 year old to tell people they aren’t their friend anymore but also blended families aren’t always easy.
Just because it’s common now doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for the kids sadly
Normal. when my daughter was a toddler was perfectly happy to have a incoming sibling…until she found out that the baby would be a boy and then suddenly she hated me, wanted the baby to go away. She tried to hit him when he was just a day old (first hours home from hospital) with a heavy toy cause she wanted him to go away. Much difference now (we added another son and she still at age 14 asks for a sister lol) but it’s normal for toddlers to go through this. Try giving more one on one, dad too. She probably feels she is being pushed to the side and scared she will be forgotten when the new baby comes.
Give her a present FROM the new baby. Go on an adventure with just her. Take her for ice cream. Explain to her you and new baby love her very much.
3 year olds are assholes
But her behavior sounds normal to me. I just had my 3rd and it felt like my other 2 had lost their ever lovin mind!
Sounds normal for a 3 year old especially with you being pregnant.
Its a 3 yo thing, she will settle down
She’s 3. Calm down. It’s normal.
She three and probably feels like she’s going to be replaced. Even though she’s only three she’s smart and can think for herself. I would just positively reinforce you love her and nothing will change that.
Shes 3. Lol your new baby is not the root of the problem. It’s a phase and she’s also experiencing a lot of intense emotions since shes developing so rapidly. Parent her. Lol
Maybe she needs some 1 on 1. We NEVER had an issue with “terrible 2s” 3 hit hard though. She may just be acting out bc she’s jealous
Look I’m just gonna say this and let y’all bitch about it. Pop her ass, and don’t let her get away with this saying hateful things. phase my ass. My six year old son pulled this shit against his five year old step brother now that I’m pregnant and I put an end to it.
So y’all go ahead and tell me to kill myself like ya do when I say to DISCIPLINE A MISBEHAVING DAMN KID.
Wtf thought you were talking about a teenager. Bye 
Its normal just keep an eye out for regression and if it starts nip it in the ass quick you don’t want three kids in diapers
Stop trying to control her feelings. Little people have big emotions like adults shes learning how to deal with them catering to them wont help . Acknowledged them say I’m sorry you feel that way. Then try to get all the kids together to work on a project for baby having them involved will help them feel a connection to this. When she starts on the “I hate so and so” ask her why ? Ask her how she would feel if someone said that they felt like that towards her. Dont tell her to be nice and how babys are great if shes allowed to feel what she feels and is allowed to Express that with you then you both will be her safe place and this will pass. Good luck patience will go along way. Congratulations on the new little one coming
Lol girl threes are worse than twos and fours are worse than both! Good luck! She’s not acting out lol she’s being three.
Shes just being a 3 yr old. Sometimes they are A-holes. Lol I’m sure she lives and cares about everyone and is just having a phase. Maybe get her all hyped up about being a big sister. Get some books…get some movies…have her help buy stuff. Ask her “what do u think of this? (Hold up a toy or outfit) Do you think ur baby brother will like it?” Make her feel super super involved big time. Could be a jealousy thing too.
She will turn around.
This is normal behavior even without a baby coming. She’s a toddler. Get used to it! You’ll have 3!
I used to tell my kids to go play in their room alone since they don’t like being around people and that when she is out of her room she’s got to be nice! Terrible 2’s, obnoxious 3’s, rotten 4’s, thank God you’re going into kindergarten 5’s! Good luck
Threenager!! It doesn’t get better…lol
I got a baby doll and had mine help take care of the baby saying its her baby too. Which helped some. Plus some special 1 on 1 time also
Um she’s been on the planet 3 years…Jesus…it’s completely normal…
She may be 3, but YOU are the parents and she needs to know that that behavior is not acceptable! Teach her the proper ways to Express herself. If she doesn’t like something, she needs to tell to calmly, and you need to ask her why she feels that way. Come up with something to help her feel better. Dont sugar coat. She says she’s mad because she doesn’t want a new brother. Tell her that is not a choice that she can make. Offer her something that she does have the ability to choose. Validate her feelings. I know you are worried about there being a new baby in the family. Since the baby IS coming though, maybe you can help pick the color for his room." Etc. With two littles and the third to be here soon, it’s best you have the house in order before he gets here. DEFINITELY talk to her. Listen. Validate her feelings. And teach her the proper ways to deal with her emotions. Boundaries.
Welcome to having a 3 year old girl!!!
Its normal. She may be worried when the baby comes she wont get as much attention. My 4 yr old is going through a similar phase. Shes wanting to be constantly told i love you and im not going anywhere. Her bio dad isnt present in her life as he should.
Welcome to being a parent of a normal 3 year old. 
I think this is common for this age. Shes too young to really verbalize things. My daughter is 4 and still sometimes says things like no one likes me, I’m not proud of myself, everyone is mean. The point is she just says these things sometimes when she tired or isnt getting her way lol it’s a phase
Start teaching her we use nice words and be nice towards people. Use time out chair for 3 minutes each time she’s nasty or lashes out.
You all need to step up and put your foot down when she goes off and smack her ass if need be… She’s 3 and doesn’t need to run the show…
Shes 3. When she says rude or mean things you tell her that’s not ok to say. Correct it, as much as you can anyways… Because shes 3.
My 3 yr old tells us to go away, don’t look at me, leave me alone, & we correct it when she says it. Never heard her say she hates anything or anyone tho.
My grandson was over with his mother visiting when he was 2. She let him do anything and everything, this I my son’s little boy and I love him more than anything in the world. She was talking to me and he turned around and smacked his mothers face. That is not ok with me it’s nothing t acceptable behavior and if you don’t teach your children early in their most informative years they won’t grow up to be productive members of society. So as I said he slapped his mom I grabbed him by his arm and I popped his diaper, i didn’t hurt him the sound of the pop on his diaper was loud enough to scare him, I told my grandson we don’t hit. He has never done anything like that again. His mother was mad but I made my point. I thought my kids at an early age and I was always complemented in public for how well behaved my children were. Spanking may be a contravercial subject and I assure it’s not my go to discipline tactic, that was the first and last time I did that. So when she acts out you get down to her level meaning get on your knees and tell her that naughty girls will sit in the corner or set up a little mat for her and make her sit there for 3 minutes if she moves put her back , it’s a tiring process but it works. I use to use a behavior and chore chart . She just wants attention. So you give her little chores like pick up your toys and other things you think she can do but no more than 3 or 4 and every time she completes a chore she gets a star or sticker on the board and at the end of the week reward her with a treat or dollar toy. I kept I little chest full of dollar store toys and a chest of treats like cookies or candy. She’s jealous and wants attention so this will give her that extra attention and also make her feel like a big girl.
Start leaving her alone, when you do, do little fun games with the others. When she comes to play remind her that she wanted to be left alone; don’t be cruel about it, only play the game for an hour or so. Eventually she’ll start to understand that it’s a family affair.
Is she an only child at her moms? If so that could be it . If so give her special time and a quite place for when she wants alone time
Involve her in all you appointments and buy her a baby doll and encourage her to practice being a big sitter by telling her you are going need her help when the baby is born
This is 3. It’s not acting out for any other reason than, welcome to 3.
It’ll pass
My 5 year old daughter did this too and she stopped
Sounds like she is feeling insecure and need a little extra love ,time and attention
Seek therapy for her, my daughter is very physically aggressive with her older brother. She is now in therapy “school” she just turned 5, I have a younger daughter that it was worried about in terms of the older one hurting her.
Dates! Take her on a big girl date, one that she can only go on and let her pick out the plan! That literally works wonders!
Make her feel important give her things to help out with. Spend some time with just her try daddy daughter dates or you and her go get your nails done she just needs to feel special and important
Perhaps try a baby doll for her. Show her how to mommy. It may get her excited to help and show her she can be involved
This could last a year or more, just tell her when she says these things it hurts your feelings and when she starts telling you that her feelings are hurt show her some love 
Perhaps more personal inclusion, baby based? Buy her a doll, name it the baby to be’s name, and have her take care and bond with it. Perhaps it’ll be fun and make the worry of being left out subside …and turn it into excitement
It will pass. My oldest was 1.5 when his brother was born and he was the same way. Well just not with words. But he would hit is brother and when asked if he loved him, he would say no. How he is 2 and his brother is 1 and they are perfectly fine. They get on each others nerves lol but other than that they are fine
I went through something similar with my step son. It was awful but now he is 9 and I’ve with his father for 7 years and he is my boy. We had to realize even though he was 2 when we married it was a shock to his system. New step mom. New step sister. New baby on the way. 2 houses. It was hard on him and he took it out on me. We moved 1300 miles from home to be closer to his mom and I wouldn’t change a thing.
She is feeling left out. Give her some 1 on 1 time. Take her and let her pick something out for the baby. Include her as much as possible. She also sounds a little jealous. It’s a faze that will pass. Just let her feel included.
Tan her ass and let her know that behaviour isn’t acceptable ffs
My son flipped out at 3 years old when he found out I was pregnant.
Lay out how her behavior is unacceptable and that what she is saying and doing is hurtful.
Also reinforce that the new baby is not replacing her
Do mama daughter days to give her one on one time. 
take her to the park for a picnic or do little tea parties. Make it a fun time to spend together
Unfortunately I know all too well that sadly “who” the parents are when you’re all together, having meeting, etc is not always who that person is when alone with the child
I went thru this with my son, his father always acted as if he was on board with things and that the three of us were on the same page but behind closed doors everything he said and did undermined everything! Perhaps some therapy?
I know it’s tough, it does get better, my son is 15 now and while it’s still very hurtful he has started noticing the manipulation on his own and will talk about it rather than suppressing it and being confused and angry
Prayers for all of you! 
It very well could be her reacting to the new baby, but please make sure it’s not the result of sexual abuse. If your children are acting out of character seeming from nowhere, just please cover all of the bases.
Shes wanting attention take each child to do something just with you then with just dad then with just you both that way they all are getting attention from you both
Well when my 3.5 year old daughter is acting out and telling people she hates them, is screaming and throwing a huge fit, I spank her butt and explain that it is absolutely not okay to say anything like that to anyone. All children NEED some kind of discipline, or they will just continue to act out. And trust me. It WILL only get WORSE as they get older and it will be much harder to discipline.
No parent/guardian likes disciplining their kids, but if we dont, then they wont listen, they will just act completely out of control and it’s just obnoxious. I am a single mom and have been since my daughter was born and its freaking HARD!!! Also, only do one discipline at a time. If you spank her butt, that’s that and sit her down, or talk with her and take something away. Seems harsh but this world is even more harsh with kids out of control.
Try talking to her, because believe it or not, 3 and 3 and half year olds are WAY smarter and understanding, than we think. But if they are acting out and just out of control and saying mean hurtful things, a spankin isn’t gonna hurt them. They have to learn one way or another and spanking, not hard of course, just a little swat to teach them, is way freaking better than yelling or screaming at the child.
Best of luck
Stephanie Robin Porterfield
Sorry your going through this but maybe it’s all becoming a little bit overwhelming for her she is only 3. Listen to her, reassure her that is special and maybe let her have some one on one time with daddy! Hope it all works out
She sounds like A 3 year old girl… Don’t worry its 100% normal my daughter didn’t really have a terrible two but she was definitely a three-ager. Just set aside some time just for her because she’s older go do something only big kids get to do ect let her owned the role of being the older sister it will be okay
Tell her not happening that behavior is unacceptable and discipline, children get away with too much and become little brats so start taking care of her behavior now before it gets worse
As a mom of three kids the only advice I can give you is to have date night with her and only her! She obviously is struggling with accepting the new baby coming! When I was pregnant with my last child both my oldest acted out and I started date night and it worked wonders! Good luck sweetie and if all fails seek a family counselor/therapist, they are awesome at helping.
Sit her down 1-1 and listen really listen to what she’s saying don’t lead her to say anything ask her how she feels and what’s going on. Be careful there’s not something bigger going on though. Speak to Ur health visitor get proper help with the situation you need to get this dealt with before you have a new born to deal with too. X
Maybe do a special day just for her? This could be a cry for attention.
The same thing happened with my own daughter. She was 4 when her brother was born. I didn’t know how to get through it but just be patient. It will pass!! I promise.
It’s obviously her wanting to get attention, she feels that your happy about having a new baby with her stepfather, she doesn’t want to feel like she isn’t part of the family. She needs a lot of reassurance.
let her help you with getting the stuff for the baby ready
My kids have both started acting out, and they will do so more and more the closer I get to delivery. That’s what a lot of kids do. Whether they’ve known for a while or not.
Your stepdaughter wants attention.
Set aside some time for just you and her, and her and daddy.
Also, let her buy the baby a gift! Something special from just her.
Kids act out, its normal.
It’s normal for younger kids to act out when they feel like their world is changing. Talk to her ask her if she can be your little helper with the baby as well as the older kids. Ask her to help you decorate the baby room or to get it setup. Involve all the kids but, also discipline let her know that she is loved but, she also can’t be telling people she hates them or wishes they go away. I would also be wondering what her birth mum is telling her.
She is probably feeling pushed aside, while it may be unintentional, do something special just the two of you and explain that nothing will change between you guys when the new baby comes. You will still love her just as much as you do now. Nothing changes that
I know you’re frustrated and it’s taken me 23 years and 5 kids to figure out a toddler brain! She can’t rationalize what she’s saying she’s just trying to ask for attention but doesn’t know how.
Redirection is key!
First you and dad need to explain to her in a way that a 3 year old brain can understand, that saying mean things hurts feelings and she shouldn’t be mean to people. This will be repeated several times because she won’t stop right away. You may have to introduce a time out for her. My son is almost 3 and when things gets too crazy I bend down to his level have him take a deep breath and tell him we need a break let’s have a time out. This takes time but he now will say ok and sit down beside the wall, I don’t make him sit in a corner or alone in a room, for a minute, he decides when he wants to get up. He will say he’s sorry and he’s ready to play. It takes time to get to this point but believe me it has saved my nerves many times.
Second ask her to help you. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing ask her to help. She wants to feel important. My little guy likes to put clothes in the dryer, put silverware in the drawer, carry folded towels to the bathroom, sweep (this one isn’t ever done right so you’ll have to redo it). Kids want to be important and her little world is changing so much you and dad need to encourage her by including her.
Never stop loving her, give hugs and encouragement. When she does something to help tell her she did a great job and give her a high 5. Kids will smile so big when you tell them you’re proud of them and they did awesome. Once baby is born let her keep helping, bring diapers, sing to him, and hold him (with help of course) she just want to be part of everything!
At that age I would remind her that that way if acting is not allowed and if it continues then use appropriate punishment. At the same time remind her that if she behaves that she can be rewarded with special “rewards” - fun outings or home movie evenings( really anything made special for her). She just needs to be refocused and continuously encouraged to behave positively. She is feeling that the new baby is going to replace her and even though that isn’t so she does not have the capacity to understand that yet. Until the baby comes and she feels secure that her place is still good within the family her behavior might stay this way but just keep staying strong and consistent as a coparenting group and remind her that she will always be loved by everyone
Sounds like she is just having big emotions but doesn’t understand them or doesn’t know how to express them. Patience and empathy will go far. Change is hard and can be scary.
This is completely normal, even if all of the children came from one relationship… plus she’s 3. Just keep loving her and give her attention. It will work itself out.
Shes 3 and this behavior is expected. They’re confused little souls themselves. Just ignore the negative behavior, walk out the room. When shes calmed down remined her that when she acts like that it makes her family sad, then cuddle her and remind her how much you love her xoxo They find it difficult expressing emotions, so be her emotional back bone she needs you all
Its Just alot for her to adjust too. Another baby is alot with her being a bit older this time she understands…less attention and time for her. She adjust 
She is jealous let her know that you love her and that’s her baby all kids act like that when a new baby come.
Let me ease your mind, it’s completely normal at that age. I myself have a 3 year old daughter and had a very similar experience. Include her in everything with the new baby, have her be mommies big helper. It’s a phase and it will pass. Hang in there! Congratulations and best of luck
She’s 3 years old…just reassure her that she’s loved…her attention as a baby/child was cut short with babies born and being born
It’s just jealousy it’s completely normal. It is expecting for a child of her age. Give her some time she will adjust and love her siblings as much as you guys do.
It took my son meeting his sister for hin to like her. He didnt hate her but he was scared. Thankfully he and I talk alot so he was able to express this. She has siblings already so she knows adding another one will take time.
When my son said he hated me I told him that was rude and i still love him regardless.
Get her a boy baby doll. Then the two of you can parent together.
My 3 yr old is going through the same thing. But I’m not pregnant. He has a younger sibling and me and his dad are together… it is a phase y’all just have to work through. When she says she hates mom or one of her siblings. Say I am sorry to hear that. Why do you feel that way. Yes she’s young but it’ll help with coming to the bottom of why she’s doing it. It’s really helped with my son. Just be patient cause finding the words to express herself can be difficult at times
Ask her how she’s feeling about it, she needs to feel heard, let her know that her feelings are normal and it’s ok to feel that way and that you love her no matter what
Jealousy is unfortunately very difficult to deal with in children. I have two adaptive daughters and when I got pregnant and their brother arrived they were jealous and were upset all my attention wasn’t to them anymore. I would say the best thing I do is sit down and simply talk to them and for you just sit her down and talk to her about it, and when you get a chance always try to do things with her only… Let your hubby watch other children while doing so. Whether that’s coloring, or reading i think it’ll make her feel alittle better. It has for mine.
I am in a similar situation. Although, he was super excited while I was pregnant. The 3 year old really enjoys helping me with things around the house and it makes him feel important. He also likes random hugs and for you to sit him on your lap like the baby. I have sat him on my lap on numerous occasions and told him we loved him very much and was sorry the baby took so much attention (he’s got severe acid reflux). He said ok and he loved us too. Just talk to the 3 year old like he’s an adult, sounds crazy, but I think they enjoy it! He was jealous at first, but he’s adjusting really well. The baby is now 10 weeks old.
Definitely think shes fearing the change. I’d sit down and try to acknowledge her feelings. She probably doesn’t know why she feels like that. I wouldn’t punish her just have a talk. I dont think she hates you but she probably hates that things are changing. I might tell her it’s ok to feel angry or scared but telling someone you hate them can hurt feelings.
Include her in new baby stuff.
Some one on one attention with each adult might be a good idea.
Emphasize what makes her special in your family.
3 year olds have a hard time expressing their feelings. Let her talk about why she says what she says. Listen and be patient. Things will get better in time.
Super normal for a 3 year old. Just stay consistent
She is 3. I have a 3 yr old. She tells me go away too
Tells I dont want to go to your house, even though it’s her house also.