As a past child care provider, this could be something to have looked into. Any pediatric provider can assist with an evaluation. If something is happening they can detect it. On another note, she has found an action that is pleasurable scolding her will not stop the behavior. If you are able to sit her down and explain that what she is doing should only be done in the privacy of her room she may lose interest and stop doing it. This behavior is also getting her alot of attention so it could be her way of getting a little more attention. Kids are so funny. Trust your instincts, make an appt with your doc. And talk with her mom.work together to see if she is seeing the same behaviors and find out her take on it.
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The major red flag here is that someone told this child itās a game! If a child were to be questioned that was just exploring they would use words like tickles or feels good not game! Someone taught either this child or her friend that sexual behavior is a game and at that age it is NOT a game it is supposed to be exploration if they are doing it on their own! But a child would never call it a Game! Thatās what worries me! I know kids explore I have three sons that explored every since they potty trained. Boys have a tendency to flick there pee pee or pinch it or rub it I would imagine girls also explore the sensation. But for it to be being called a game thatās strange! If nothing else contact mom or have dad contact mom ask, see response, get a name of friend, ask about friend, if there are any red flags during the conversation then YOU as the step parent needs to tell dad she needs to see a pediatrician and really think about getting CPS involved. It would be a shame to send them baby back and find out she has been raped or much worse! Always be cautious with children! Watch for red flags! Be their voice cause their voice isnāt that loud!
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Instead of punishing her get her help. Shes being messed with 
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Almost sure that kid has been sexually abused get her some help.
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abuse may be or experimenting with her body to get to know herself. Still should not do it in front of your daughter
She needs to stay away from your daughter. Sounds like sheās being molestedā¦ Donāt let your child go where she lives. Itās sad but itās your JOB to protect YOUR daughter. End of story.
Call child service for your stepdaughter and donāt leave your 3 year old alone with her right now your 8 year old needs help now.
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Do not ask her anymore questions! Her father needs to call social services or a school counselor and report it. If you continue to question her and her behavior is because of abuse pushing her to answer question could taint an investigation. Let trained professionals help her.
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To be honest, assuming everything happened as your step daughter described it, I would recommend encouraging your husband to explain to her that itās not a game and no one else should ever be touching her that way, but if she would like to do so she needs to do it by herself. Definitely not punishing her and making her think itās wrong. I would also DEFINITELY be making a call to her mother so she can make a call on behalf of the girl who taught her this. That is who I would really be concerned about in this situation.
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This 8 yr old needs to stop being around who is teaching her this and have her checked for being molested she is acting like she has been.
My uncle use to do things to me and tell me it was a game and tell me to suck on him like a lollipop so if I were you I would get her seen by a doctor and after seen by a doctor contact her mother. I honestly believe she is being molested.
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She should not do it at all. Get to the bottom of this post haste. What would you do if she were your biological daughter? Also, get her mum and dad involved. If they do not support you, itās okay to return to sender. As long as your motives are good, donāt get tripped up by step mum guilt.
She is saying her friend "taught " her thisā¦ itās masturbation, so at the least the other child has assaulted your child ( for lack of better term ) however even more importantly is the friend called it a āgameā ā¦ 1. Contact mom! 2. Contact cps. And do not make her feel ābadā or punished .you do NOT want her to close down BEFORE she speaks with a professional about what happened to her!!! Keep a very close watch on her until you get her in but do this right away. There are TONS of flags here!!!
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#1 touching your own body is normal at every age
#2 tell the step child that those things are done in private
#3 tell your child the same. No matter what, your child should be able to see all kinds of shit and not copy it. I know sheās super young but still.
#4 someone should inform that other childās mom cause sometimes children learn this from creepy adultsā¦
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does she or has she ever stayed over night at this girls house that she says tort her this discusting act no child at her age should be doing if your reply is yes whats the chance her friend is the abuse victim and shes teaching your daughter the horrible things that are happening to her
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Keep her away from your daughter before she gets molested
CPS needs to be involved in this ASAP. No doubt about it. If itās nothing but healthy exploration, thatās one thing but, let professionals do the questioning and investigating. Because, if it isnāt something healthy, you would never forgive yourself for doing the ācomfortable thingā and letting it slide.
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Get her help immediately, sheās being abused!
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Big time Red flag!! This is totally sexual abuse. Please report this immediatly it is our duty as adults to protect our children. Also dont punish her, she does not understand itās wrong esp if an adult is telling her itās just a game. Sheās just a child.
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Please talk to someone because this story sounds so off! Something is wrong. Talk to her dad and mom and tell them the whole āitās a gameā and alarm her that this might be something moreā¦!!
I wouldnāt punish her, but instead Iād talk with her. And her mother. That sounds like the child has been touched inappropriately. Being curious is one thing, and totally normal but should be done in private. But sheās saying she was shown this by someone else and that isnāt good.
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Does your step daughter have adhd by any chance?
The reason i ask is because these things can be apart of having adhd.
But anyways.
A. Its normal for children to touch/play explore their own bodies. In saying this whats not normal is her telling you a friend taught her.
B. Iād see if you can get her mum and dad together and have a talk with both of them and see if you can agree on the fact that something isnt right.
C. If nothing comes of that, Iād call a counselor just to speak with the child and see what the child tells the counsellor.
D. If the counsellor comes back with anything nerve wracking then call cyfs/cyps.
You donāt want to be calling cyfs on a child who is partially in your care without getting the facts first.
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Why is she being punished??? This is not right, she is trying to tell you guys something, make sure youāre teaching your 3 year old the names of her body parts, vagina, boobies and that no one is allowed to touch these areas.
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Something wrong get help for that child
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Sounds like either sheās being molested by someone maybe even her friend and someone is molesting her little friend and telling her itās a game Iād be concerned
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This is extremely disturbing. There needs to be an honest discussion between Dad and Mom first. Has she seen a difference in her childās behavior? What is her take on this child and her family? How much time does your child spend with her or in her home? All are valid all indicate justified parental concern. It is important to maintain a calm NON accusatory demeaner. With her full understanding of Dad needs to contact his childs pediatrician for an indepth discussion. I would set up an appointment with the Dr. Make it when Dad can be in town for discussion/recommendation after her exam or appointment. I have worked with children that have been victims of sexual molestation. This could be no more at this point than curious little girls that enjoy the self gratification of masturbation or a cry for help. I also wouldnāt rule out her possiblely seeking attention. She may feel displaced in her fatherās life by a younger sibling. You stated she doesnāt get to visit often. Whatever you decide I would address this issue as soon as possible.
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Itās totally normal for an 8 yr old to be exploring her body, you need to address the other childs parents because children just need to be taught boundaries and privacy! Little girls definatly teach eachother things about there bodies but you need to tell them to be doing it in private in there own time. Not trying to catch her out for it. Itās completely normal for her to be doing it to herself.
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You need to have a serious talk with her mom and make sure her mom gets ahold of the other little girls mom. This is disturbing.
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Guys how can you all say ABUSE!! This is the age they begin it to explore !!! Tell them the difference between right and wrong. When its appropriate and when it isnt. But yelling abuse and punishing a child for figuring out their bodies is crazy. Talk to her mom and find out more before you have the child taken by CPS
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Take her to be check out by a doctor immediately. She is being assaulted. Keep her away from your daughter
Sexual abuse. Call CPS. Normal children dont know anything about touching their privates. PLEASE dont blow this off. She could possibly be sexually abusing your daughter.
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Sounds like sheās being abused
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Learning to touch yourself is ok. If a friend really taught her this thatās ok too. She does need to know itās only appropriate in private when no one else can see. The parents of the friend should know
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All the fixking cops and take that baby to the hospital clearly something NOT OKAY is going on and she thinks sheās doing whatās okayā¦ Donāt send that baby back until you get to the bottom of that
Yep. Sounds like sheās being groomed speak up and protect your own child the stepdaughter must always be in visual sight or your own kid will have issues. This is not appropriate when she goes to school ee unappropriate and now becomes a part of her school record for being reprimanded for that. Maybe not but an alert teacher whoās responsible as a first-line reporter is going to write it down to protect themselves as well as a child. Get with it get strong
I donāt think you should be punishing her but instead look further in as to why her āfriendā started doing this.
As far as this being normal, yesā¦ I have a boy and heās starting to get curious about his parts but we talk to him about this and hope he understands
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I would make an appointment with your pediatric care physician. Unfortunately with these kind of situations, itās not so black and white but all the gray areas inbetween. The doctor could do an evaluation. Find out if the child is seeking attention ( even if itās negative) find out if she honestly likes to pleasure herself or if sheās being abused. As a mother of 4 ( 3 of which are girls) Iāve never dealt with this nor do I think itās typical 8 yr old behavior. I think itās odd and definitely should be treated serious until you get all the proper info to dismiss it. Even as far as possibly finding out about the friend?
Rather than punishing her, send her somewhere private. It is completely normal for a child to explore every part of their body, but she needs to learn certain parts of her body require privacy.
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Though I agree that this young girlās other parent should be spoken to regarding this situationā¦
Do not shame her. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, and this should be explained to the girl. Shaming her will cause a sort of complex, possibly even making her feel unsafe talking to you or expressing herself to you in the futureā¦ Teach her the appropriate times to touch herself (for example only in privacy, only in the bath, etc), and the appropriate manner in which to do so (for example not in front of other people, never use dirty hands, not to let anyone else do it to/for her, etc.).
Additionally, now may be the appropriate times to discuss consent and boundaries. Television and other media outlets have changed things in these younger generations. Making information - good and bad - available to young people; people who are too young to understand sex and love are surrounded by it. Times have changed.
She is still young, but has clearly learned that it feels good to touch that part of herself. This is something that every girl and boy will experience in their own time.
Best of luck in your situation, I hope you find answers that help you.