This would be normal if she didn’t say “it’s a game” it sounds like either her or her friend is being abused! Please please try to get to the bottom of this.
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I’d be calling CPS about the friend. If the friend is her age and is saying it’s a game, she learned that somewhere. It sounds like there may be abuse going on somewhere. How very scary! As far as your daughter and step daughter go, I’d sit the step daughter down and explain that that is a private place and that she should never be touching it in front of others. Don’t freak out or make a super big deal out of the actual action, but certainly punish her for not listening to the rules about this.
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It is definitely not unusual for a child to be doing this. You do need to teach her boundaries and if she wants to be touching herself, it is to be done in private. That is not something that needs an audience. It also is not unusual for a three year old to do it, you just again need to teach her that it’s to be done in private.
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No it’s not normal. Wth?
I’d beat her ass periodddddd!
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First of all you need to call the mother and tell her because if someone taught her how to masterbate THAT is not ok.
Maybe have a talk with the step daughter and tell her that is something we do in private. Teaching a child to have shame about her body is not productive and if someone is touching her inappropriately she’s less likely to tell if you make her feel bad and punish her. Get to the bottom of who and why and stop shaming the poor kid.
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It is sometimes a “sign” when they are compelled to touch themselves that there is sexual abuse or inappropriate touching from someone towards her. It needs to be seriously looked into
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This is normal. Ask your doctor. But they need to be encouraged to do so in private. She needs to understand that anything having to do with her privates is PRIVATE and not for ANYONE else. No ones supposed to see except her mom and her doctor as long as her mom is there. Not susters, or dads, or stepmoms(unless primary caregiver and appropriate for situation, my stepdaughter’s mom has passed so im mom)or any other adult OR child. and no one else is supposed to see her private parts. If a bathing suit covers it then it shouldnt be shown or seen. She needs to know this shouldnt be shared with her friends either. Where was her sipervision? Not that its cant happen with supervisor because you cant watch them every second. Her dad or you need to guide her to privacy in her room when she does it. Or remove your youngest .
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Please take your child to a doctor. The red flags are there and she needs to be seen. Also talk with her mother as this is coming from her home. This is not a game a child plays
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- She has been sexually abused or 2. My autism cousin growing up always did this.
If she doesnt have autism I would definitely take her to a dr. Could be a yeast infection as well
No it’s not normal behavior for an eight year old. You said her friend showed her as a game? Well, you need to find out what friend because this is definitely a sign of sexual abuse.
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Don’t leave her alone with your daughter.
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She absolutely should not be punished. And you can look up child sexual development, what behaviors are age appropriate and what is not. We adults tend to sexualize these situations, where kids just understand that it is a stimulation of some sort that feels good to them. Typically if there are specific behaviors with specific words that is more concerning. Kids are creatures of indulging in what stimulates ALL of their senses. She does not understand what she’s doing is sexual. Kids are curious, and like I said, look up online child development sources and do some research on what’s normal and how to respond accordingly
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Therapy, NOW. And get to the bottom of why.
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At the age of 8 she is far to young for that. I would call CPS on that… for the child to refer to it as a game… there is something very wrong and it needs to be acknowledged.
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My kids pediatrician told me its normal around that age because they are discovering their body parts and what exactly they have
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Talk to your partner get him to talk to the mother to have a talk to daughter if that don’t work take matters into your own hands
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This is bad news. Especially if brand new behavior. I think she’s probably trying to get your attention. I would call the mom and then take her to a pediatrician to discuss next steps. I would find out who the other little girl is and call cps.
It’s possible she did learn it from another girl, but that other girl must be in trouble as well
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I agree with the “curious about her body” camp… But that said … Definitely make sure nothing fishy is going on. It’s so hard in this day and age and you don’t want her curiosity about her own body making her explore a tinier body, I’ve heard of that happening too. Innocent as it may be, it might not be the worst idea to look into what is going on behind closed doors
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All adults in this child’s life should sit down and talk about their concerns and figure out what’s happening. Also speak with the little girl’s parents that taught her. Something is definitely not right.
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This is a huge sign of sexual abuse. Coming from a mother of an abused child. Have a quit talk with her and let her know that she cam talk to you anytime and that NO ONE BUT HER has the right to touch her body. Also gently let her know that this is ok and something she needs to do in private. If it truly was an other little girl who taught her how to do this then that little girl needs help as some one “taught” her.
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It can mean something,but not always. Some kids do,do this. There’s not always a creepy reason like molestation or something behind it. Kids get curious. But,to be 100% safe I would def speak to the child’s mother about it. Just to make sure her home life is safe etc. You never know.
It’s normal for a child her age to be “exploring” herself but is absolutely not normal for a friend to have shown her how 
I would talk to her mother or her friend’s mother and definitely explain to her that she shouldn’t be doing that in front of other people.
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You should really be contacting social services or police to inform them of what’s been happening no way is that normal behaviour for an 8 year old to be teaching a 3 year old. Why would you even ask for advice don’t your gut tell you somethings definitely not right. I just hope the 8 year old isn’t being abused absolutely disheartening to read something like this please do the right thing you never know what’s going on in her life you might be saving her from something really bad going on behind closed doors…
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That’s not normal behavior, I have a 9 year old and a 21 year old both girls, Somebody has messed with her. Take her to the doctor and have her examined and call the mother and tell her. Find out the friends name and tell the mother to cut contact. Either the friend has been messed with and is projecting it on to her or someone has messed with her.
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This seems very serious. Don’t leave your daughter alone with her, make sure she gets help. I’d be worried about the girls friend too who showed her this.
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The friend may have taught her more no it is not normal let her mother know
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No way this is normal you should be very concerned about what’s happening at home to her… What kind of game is this suppose to be… Did you ask her? Becareful she doesn’t touch your 3 yr old because if this is what the 8yr old thinks of as a game then she could do it to your 3 yr old… She should go to a counselor
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This sounds as an adult something you should know no eight year old is going to play a game like this. Cmon use your common sense the signs are there she’s being abused. No child will play a game like this unless an adult showed her. Does the mother have a man around her bf/husband/ friend? You and your husband need to call CPS and take her to the doctor to be examined. Poor baby who knows what kind of monstrosity she has been subject to. I’d also petition an emergency custody arrangement for her father to have temporary custody until the investigation has been completed. Prayer for her.
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My main concern at this point would be the 8 year old. Sometimes children that are sexually abused think their abuse is normal and she may not understand why you are punishing her. Especially if it has been long term. Have a serious talk with her dad and consult whoever you need to from there. You have the opportunity to help her. No matter the outcome.
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Call social services and talk to her bio mother. That’s not a game and either her friend who showed it to her is being abused or her “friend” is dragging her into abusive things. She is going to need behavioral therapy or something …
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This child’s father needs to have a serious discussion with her mother. They need to protect her
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you need to talk to the eight-year-olds mom about this. You need to talk to the little girl that showed her how to do this and her parents. Do not punish for bodily exploration. This isn’t normal stage of development, and punishing for this will result in severe sexual issues as an adult. try to be patient and understand that this is normal even though it’s kind of weird. At this point I would talk to the eight year old and explain what she is doing and why you don’t want her to be doing it in front of other people. Have a little bit of a sex talk with her about her own body. At 8 years old she’s probably very close to puberty anyway so it would be good to get ahead of the curve on that. Offer an alternative if that’s acceptable to you, such as behind a closed door.
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As a abused child I 1000% agree with the comments above she is either being sexually abused or the ‘friend’ is being sexually abused or both but I bet her ‘friend’ is made up as a cover for her abuser that’s learnt behaviour the reason she is doing it as it feels nice so she has no control over that feeling bless her heart please please talk to her don’t put words in her mouth tho let her talk it out! But please believe her kids can’t lie about things like this! 
call police and social services ASAP!
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This is a sign or sexual abuse. You need to contact social services.
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Talk to her mother and see if she’s doing it there. Always enforce that touching her body is natural but it is not appropriate to do in front of people be cause can make them uncomfortable. Ask her why she keeps doing it in front of her sister? And explain her sister is too young to be seeing her do that. And make sure you inform her mom about this behavior and anything your step daughter tells you about it so she can look into and she can find a counselor to help her if need be.
Smack her hand and put in time out. Thays deff not normal
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Sounds like she been through some sort of older adult showing her how to do this… abuse.
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Pedophiles use the word game when grooming kids to think molestation is acceptable. My daughters abuser is sitting on year 2 of his 25 year sentence and i know every sign of sexual abuse down to the textbook… Contact social services immediately
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Like everyone else said, she is showing signs of abuse or being in contact with someone who is being abused.
While it is normal for children to explore their bodies, and they shouldn’t be punished for it but reminded that its private, and you should be alone if you want to explore.
It’s not normal that it’s a game. Red flags!
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I have never heard of a child her age constantly touching themselves, neither of my girls did this and also a “friend” told her it was a game? That alone is an odd thing to say, I have heard of men telling children “let’s play a game and you can’t tell anyone” but a child 
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I think the person who showed the 8yo is being sexually abused. Esp if she said its a game. Thst is something some sick mfer showed her and she doesnt know any better, and think its ok. I would limit contact with ur step daughter till all adults sit down and figure out wth is going on. If you dont ur step daughter might try something w ur daughter not knowing its inappropriate.
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Well you should not punish a child who is 8 for that… But explain to do that somewhere private not in front of the child but to punish her is rediculous
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Even tho I don’t agree, a therapist will say it’s normal behavior (been there with my oldest) for a child to touch themselves and not to shame them for it. As stated earlier, I DON’T agree. I got onto my daughter and told her that something some grown ups do in private. That it’s not to be done in front of others and if she were caught doing it again she would receive a spanking. I believe in spanking. You decide the consequences for your child.
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How awful it must be to only see your father a few times a year because of distance (something completely out of her control btw)
Only to have your step mother punishing you for behavior that you clearly don’t know is wrong, or that could be related to an abuse situation.
What a toxic situation for this 8yr old. If you were that concerned you’d be asking a dr and having a conversation with her mother about this “friend” rather than asking Facebook to validate your feelings towards your step daughter.
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Someone needs to sit the child down and have a talk with her about touching herself. You should not shame her or threaten punishment but explain that it is something she should do in private not in front of others. It is very normal behavior.
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I’d be contacting the child’s mother and letting her know that clearly something is happening in her daughters life because this isn’t normal behaviour. Also I’d look at having her visit a doctor and or psychologist to see if they have any insight or can get some answers. I’d say this child is being sexually abused or someone close to her is who has demonstrated this to her is. But the fact that she keeps acting out and doing this makes me think it is this child herself. Yes you can worry about your daughter but right now finding out what’s happening with your stepdaughter should take priority. Keep them supervised when they’re together.
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Honestly kids do get curios and it’s not uncommon for kids even as young as three to explore themselves. Both my daughter and son have kind of messed around down there (no not together and nothing extreme just touchingband feeling) since about three and they are eight and nine now. My daughter only will occasionally like in the tub but my son has always and still messes with his to the point I had a talk saying there is a time and place and they both admitted it just kind of feels good. I wouldn’t punish her…it’s natural…you dnt wat to make her think it’s wrong to explore. But explain it’s not right to do it in the open and with other kids…maybe even ask why this other girl showed her and ask her flat out if anyone has ever touched her to make sure it’s not something more going on. But your kid would have started sooner or later, punishing the other in my eyes isn’t cool it sends the wrong message but that’s my opinion. My fam is extremely open about everything and if it were me I’d just say if you’re needing some along time to go in the bathroom or room but not as punishment it’s just not appropriate in front of people and with others
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Uhh. I think you should stop trying to punish her and communicate with her mother and see if she needs help. Someone telling an 8 year old to touch their privates didn’t sound wrong at all to you ??? She barely gets to see her father then her step mom acts like this…I just…yikes
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Make sure its not a rash but most certainly must speak with her mother immediately
Do not send her back clearly something is going on
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“Games” between same age/sex peers are normal and a part of growing up. Before you jump on the CPS bandwagon and open that can of worms talk to her mother about her behavior at home. Also, try to bring this up with your step-daughter in a casual conversation ( baking cookies, driving, out for a girls lunch) and suss our more info about the “friend” that taught her this “game”. Explain to her that this activity is to be done in private, and when she does it in front of you or your child tell her, “we’ve talked about this, now go to your room”. Also, unless you really suspect abuse after talking to her, please don’t take her to the Dr. or call CPS. The exam and investigation can be seriously traumatic. Your allegation of sexual abuse could get her immediately removed from her home with her mother and damage your husband’s relationship with his ex. Please do some research on children and masturbation, and normal stages with this behavior.
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I have lived with foster children since I was a child and the children who have done this publicly have been sexually abused. It is a very common sign of sexual abuse or grooming.
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Seek counseling! Those are tell tale signs of sexual abuse
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touching is natural… punishing her is teaching her its wrong to touch her own body… id stop punishing her and tell her if she wants to touch herself to do it in private
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Some kids do this, some kids are abused. From the sounds of it whoever’s doing it to the girl that showed SD is potentially being abused based on the verbiage. Absolutely do not punish your SD for this! Just tell her it’s to be done in private & not around other people. I’d also be talking to BM about this “friend.”
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ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!
THAT LITTLE GIRL HAS BEEN ABUSED AND YOU ARE PUNISHING HER?!?
NO, that’s not normal. Call child protective services and make a report ASAP
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Oh no 
get that baby some help immediately my guess is shes being molested. Tale tell sign
Her father and her mother need to deal with it… If I were you I would step back and let them deal but be supportive and loving towards the girl. Who knows she may open up to you and reveal something or she could just be sexually aware which is also an issue… Either she’s 8… How you handle this will affect her for forever… Tread lightly… But ding get overly involved eithwr
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Kids do that. Tell her it’s private and she can only do it alone in her room
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Be more worried someone sexualy assaulted her!
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Call social services get her to the hospital and have her checked out. Someone is molesting her. That is not normal behavior for a kid that age and if she’s stating that something happened to her done by someone else. Please get her help!!! And get her Justice!!!
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8 is normal behavior. I went through the SAME EXACT thing with my son at the same age. While I do not disagree that there should be a conversation with the mother I do not agree with everyone screaming abuse and call CPS.
Our pediatrician and the kids place (a place for abused children) said it was completely normal but boundaries need to be set and followed.
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Hmm asking"is this normal"…u knw it would not be…this is perhaps a good way to win custody…
If she’s not listening about doing it in private then she needs some kind of professional help. And maybe find out more about her friend who taught her the game. She probably needs help too…
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My boys’ father did this in front of them… message me
Why is everyone assuming abuse based on the information provided? I recall exploring myself as young as I can remember, and my 2 year old plays with herself, nobody here has been abused. I knew it felt good age 7.
You should speak to the child and her mother about it and get all the facts. I don’t believe touching yourself down there is abnormal, you need to learn when it is appropriate.
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She should be seen by a doctor to check for any trauma, I worked in a group home where there were 2 girls 8 years old who would do this as a result of sexual abuse and they thought this was perfectly normal behavior. Please look into this because she could be living in a bad situation.
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Def sounds like someone has been molested! If not your stepdaughter then the friend who showed her. Idk that punishing her is the thing to do. Maybe explain over & over that those are private parts which means it private for you & noone else to touch! And if anyone ever touches her that she should tell her mother. I would also probably talk to the mother. If shes not a manipulative bitch & she don’t try to pin it on y’all!!!
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Call her mother, report this to a doctor. She could be getting abused… Lawyer up .
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My sons are told all the time that is private behavior. Nothing 8s wrong with it, but it is to be done in private. No shaming or punishing. It’s just personal private time. GO into the bathroom. Then I would inquire to see if something is going on. It may or may not be. Kids do it.
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Autistic children are prone to do this may I just point out!
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My six year old stepdaughter was molested by the neighbor next to her mother’s home just last year, and I have noticed her do this occassionally, not so much “publicly” I don’t think she even realizes she does it until I ask her to stop. I would suggest talking to her, or her mother if you have a decent relationship where you can speak to her, or possibly the grandparents if they see the child often. My stepdaughter told her paternal grandparents first, but she didn’t understand what he had done to her, and kept saying her “friend” (the neighbor) didn’t hurt her. She still doesn’t openly talk about it, or when she does, she still says he didn’t hurt her, and she has wetting accidents very often due to it.
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You need to call cps on her mother. That is not normal.
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It could just be normal, but the part that bugs me is another girl showed her “as a game.” She’s not just exploring her own body, someone else told her about it and called it “a game” which yes, is what pedophiles grooming kids call it.
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Its ok for a child to touch themselves.However if she is doing it more than once an was taught from a friend. I would be worried .The friend is possibly being sexually abused. Its a part of grooming the child. If the friend has being sexually assault ( to which she was taught touching ones privates parts is a game) .Then whomever taught the friend this has obviously ask that child to teach others too do the same.I would not allow my child or stepchild back over the friends house. I would notify someone of this. This is not normal.Do not punish her for it but talk to her in a calm voice.So she understands rights and wrongs.Definently notify someone of the behavior she being taught from the friends home.Notify the parent your stepchild lives with if not you.
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I may or may not get a lot of crap for this. This may or may not be abuse for the children involved. You need to go to CPS/CYS whichever is available to you. Either call or go in and talk to someone who is a caseworker. Don’t go to the dr bc you will be separate from your child and stepchild until cops and cps get there. Cps will get them a dr and a Therpist if they see reason too. Yes a child will touch them self it’s calming to them. More than likely this other girl that showed your step daughter was caught touching herself in school and was told it was a game that was to be done at home which is where the game part came from, and she just wasn’t explained to it properly and is just telling your step child what she was told. Everyone is jumping to conclusions when it could just be explained wrong and it needs to be corrected. Definitely report it either way just to be on the safe side you can not get in trouble for reporting it and it not be an actual abuse. As for your step child call the mother or have the father call the mother and ask if she saw this behavior and how they would like to handle it and who needs to have the conversation that this is entirely normal and it needs to be done privately.
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I would focus more on the step daughter and see if you could dig deeper into what’s going on. Understand it’s normal to be curious but just ensure theres nothing more than that. I wouldnt punish her just because she did it in front of your 3 year old, take a different approach than punishment. Ask questions and provide information to her as well.
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Honestly I’m gonna tell you this that’s signs of sexual abuse. I know because i was sexually abused as a child. And would tell people that he taught me this game and nobody listened until it was too late
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Please get this girl help, yes she needs to be told off however she also needs to be spoken to and to know the in and outs of all this. And dig deeper to get to the bottom of it all… Something doesn’t seem right if she hasn’t listen when you have told her not to do such things and there’s a reason more than just not listening. All the best
First, I’d ask her what friend and how old is this friend. It could be an older child/adult 2nd I’d ask her who all is involved in the game. Then with her responses I’d reach out to mother if she blows it off involve authorities and CPS.
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Your step daughters friend is being abused- you need to talk to a professional (she wouldn’t say “it was a game” unless some else is teaching her that. Please find this child some help.
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If she is doing it in front of your daughter you shouldn’t let them be alone together bc there is a possibility she could touch your daughter not realizing that it’s innapropriate since she was told it was a game
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Take her to seek help. That’s not normal!
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Inform the mother and get a professional (child counselor/psychologist) involved. Also imperative that she is not made to feel dirty or ‘bad’ just that her actions are inappropriate. Most likely this was done to her and she is only reenacting the abuse.
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Call DCF!!! Then speak to the Mom this is not normal!!!
Involve all parents; be kind and offer help
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Call the police. It sounds like sexual abuse
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If you don’t do anything the x might go after your husband be careful
Get the belt or the wooden spoon.
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So sad find out more about what’s going on
That child needs a therapist
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My first step would be talking with her mother. Next taking that child to a doctor. And going from there and trying to get some counseling. Of something is put of the ordinary the doctor should be able to tell if they check her. Then keep going.
I’d be worried about her being sexually abused. Especially since it’s in the form of a “game”. Teach both the kids the body parts, the real names of them, that no one touches there besides themselves etc. Sounds like education time or punishment, tell them to go to the room if they want to continue. It is normal for kids to explore their body but not in the form of a game.
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The kids is exploring her body masturbating so that’s normal maybe tell her if she wants to touch herself do it in her room and not in front of people your 3 year old will do this too naturally without needing anyone to show her how so maybe come to terms with female clitoral self stimulation as normal human behaviour. You Americans are so prudish
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It’s normal for young children to be curious and touch themselves. However this generally comes naturally and at a younger age. Being this girl is 8 years old, was taught to do this especially “as a game” and the fact she isn’t concerned/embarrassed about doing this in front if others (like at that age she would have a sense of modesty and be more private about such things) Is extremely concerning. It’s all red flags.
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I’d take her to a dr or counselor and talk to mom about results and what is happening. Dad should have legal right.
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